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XLRI JAMSHEDPUR

COURTESY
A SHORT STUDY AS PART OF ORGANIZATIONAL BEHAVIOUR - I
TATHAGAT CHATTERJEE B13120

Introduction
Courtesy refers to showing politeness in ones attitude and behaviour towards others. It is embodied by a person having good manners. It comes from the old French word 'courteis' (12th century) and refers to gentle politeness and courtly manners. In the Middle Ages in Europe, the behaviour expected of the gentry was compiled in courtesy books. One of the most influential of these was Il Cortegiano (The Courtier) which not only covered basic etiquette and decorum but also provided models of sophisticated conversation and intellectual skill. Over the years courtesy has come to be a part of not just the court but also the defining element of the culture of a nation as a whole. It has come to encompass virtues like kindness, politeness, the willingness to help and many more. At the same time, if someone behaves in a rude, uncouth, cruel manner, it is considered to be discourteous (often called by mothers as simply to be having bad manners). In todays world, it is considered to be the hallmark of a civilised culture. In fact, the importance of courtesy can be clearly underlined in the following thought by Bryant McGill A polite enemy is just as difficult to discredit, as a rude friend is to protect

Conceptual Framework
Suppose one meets a stranger, the first things to be noticed are visual (how a person dresses up), auditory (how a person speaks) and whether the person has basic courtesy or not. We cannot simply look at the manners of a person and take a decision about his/her nature. We have to take into consideration the cultural background that the person comes from as they determine how a person would behave in different situations. Different facets of courtesy are understood in different ways in different cultures. Thus, it has been incorporated as one of the criterion. However, the basic courtesies expected of a person belonging to a civilised culture (or nation) remain the same. As such, we have been able to generalise on the basis of certain characteristics shown by the people belonging to different culture. The parameters used are a) Nature of greeting It is defined by the manner in which we greet strangers and acquaintances alike. It may be shown by the humble folding of hands by the Indians, a hug by the Americans, a graceful bow by the Japanese or a curt Hello by the British. However, it remains an important part of the communication between two people. Without a greeting, the communication between strangers is impossible and remains strained if the person is a stranger. It essentially determines the point where the communication begins. b) Polite Nature Politeness is often confused with kindness. It is often believed that to be polite is to be kind towards others. But, it is often the other way round- being kind helps in being polite to others as then we would be performing many of the tasks considered under politeness automatically rather than as part of a rule. c) Handling & Care This is the part of basic manners which are taught to children since their childhood. Every parent teaches his / her children to take care while handling different inanimate and animate objects like books, clothes, toys, plants etc. d) Willingness to Help This refers to the general manner in which people behave when they are faced with the need to help someone in trouble, without putting too much thought into how it would affect them.

Based on the above parameters, we will try to define what constitutes as courtesy and might help people to judge themselves on the basis of how they behave publicly. We are not including a lot social etiquettes here as they differ from culture to culture. But, we would discuss them separately. Some of them include Table Manners, communication with a stranger, dressing codes, public display of emotions etc.

Review of Literature
1. One of the few popular surveys on courtesy was published by Readers Digest http://www.rd.com/advice/parenting/good-manners/ This is a 2006 test (repeated in 2012) which measured the politeness on 3 factors. They conducted it in 1 major city of 35 nations and tried to find out how polite the citizens of that city are. It was labelled as the biggest Common Courtesy Test ever conducted. In each location, the magazine carried out the following three tests: 1. Reporters walked into public buildings behind people to see if they would hold the door open for them. 2. The reporters bought small items from stores and recorded whether the sales assistants said "thank you." 3. A folder full of papers was dropped in busy locations to see if anyone would help pick them up. There has been a lot of hue and cry over this report [1][2][3] because of two reasons 1. New York was labelled the politest city in the world. 2. Asian cities (with Mumbai performing the worst) were labelled as the rudest cities in the world. The best performed was Manila at 22nd out of 35 cities. (Referenced links [1] http://www.thestar.com.my/News/Nation/2012/07/24/Kuala-Lumpur-ranked-way-down-inReaders-Digest-latest-appraisal.aspx [2] - http://www.bloggedphilippines.com/2012/07/readers-digest-study-manila-no22-of-36.html [3] - http://business-review.eu/featured/bucharest-citizens-some-of-the-rudest-people-in-the-worldsays-readers-digest-survey/) It was argued that many of the factors which are considered for politeness in the West, do not apply to the Asian nations. Also argued was the fact that for the 2nd factor, the sales items were all bought from different Starbucks stores, where the employees are trained to be courteous. However, even after all the points are taken into consideration, it would never explain the low scores of most Asian nations. The survey gave out the following reasoning 1. There is positive co-relation between economic status and politeness. 2. The more we trust others, the more is the probability that we will help others. 3. The literacy rates are also related (as it increases the probability that the person is educated too).

2. The Stanford Prison Experiment http://alumni.stanford.edu/get/page/magazine/article/?article_id=40741 This experiment and its complementary experiment by BBC regarding prisoners and wardens (http://www.bbcprisonstudy.org/) which helped form the theory on behaviour of humans in the absence of supervision / monitoring.

Empirical Study and Generalization


Regarding courtesy, a study on what is considered as appropriate was conducted. As part of this the participants were asked questions on mainly two broad divisions 1. How courteous they think they are to others? Under this, they were asked questions mainly pertaining to politeness and general behaviour that one must maintain in public. The users were requested to answer as truthfully as possible as this was an anonymous survey. 2. How they perceive others courtesy? In this section, they were asked questions on what they perceive as courteous / polite acts, especially from their daily routine. 3. Invasion of Technology Many people dont realise how pervasive technology has become in our lives and how they affect our behaviour while we are in public. The survey tries to get a basic understanding on what people consider to be offensive related to the use of mobiles / iPods etc. The details of the survey and articles researched on the internet are used to comment on what could be the reasons for a section of the society behaving more courteously than another.

Findings of the study and Generalization


The survey had all Indian participants; however, from diverse backgrounds and belonging to different parts of the country (people from Kolkata, Mumbai, Chennai, Dehradun were contacted). The findings of the survey showed up some of the following points 1. Educated people are more willing to help out strangers who visit their city / locality, in spite of having bad experiences a) Many responders from the metro said they would help as long as any material exchange was not involved (as they have a fear of getting conned) b) People belonging to smaller cities were more open to helping others. c) People from weak educational backgrounds mentioned having a feeling of shyness / mistrust in helping others 2. Very few were ever greeted by complete strangers (with a good-afternoon / good-day or even a smile). This does not seem to be considered a necessary etiquette by most Asians. However, when it came to a colleague or family member, the answers were very much different. Most people greet their teammates loud and clear as this is often considered to be an important part of maintaining a good relationship within a team. 3. Most people from eastern and southern parts of India responded that they take care before closing a door while entering the office or some restaurant. People from the western regions, especially Mumbai

fared very poorly some attributed this to their busy lives; some even claimed that it is the job of the doorman and not theirs. 4. About 70% of the people surveyed mentioned thanking their employees / subordinates for routine activity. However, it could be also be because the people interviewed understand that it is important to respect others as it improves their sense of achievement and helps them perform better. Also many interviewed had been in touch with other cultures, e.g. some of them had taken courses in German (Deutsch) in which the first words that are taught are bitte (please), danke (thanks) and pardon (sorry). 5. When we asked the responders on how many times they were thanked by others while getting something done (like buying some goods or while getting served in a restaurant), around 40% responded positively. However, they agreed that that the people serving in the food-chain restaurants are the most courteous, even though the head-waiter at any local restaurant is likely to be more talkative and friendly. 6. Swearing Most of the people canvassed responded that they inadvertently swear when something goes wrong, often in public. Rise in the use of swear words is the major factor that many elders believe that there is an utter lack of courtesy in the younger generation, while ignoring other factors. However, the fact is that this could be a result of a bigger picture of showing ones emotions in the public. As Indians are slowly moving from the British culture of emotional detachment to the American style of sharing ones emotions, it is likely that we will hear more curse-words from the generations to come. 7. The inadvertent use of all-pervasive technology Often, we are disturbed while travelling on a train or while in a waiting area of a hospital by someone who wants everyone what he/she is discussing on the phone. At times, the ringtones kept by the people or the type of car-horns used gives a reflection of the culture Indians are more likely to use a Bollywood tune, Japanese are more likely to keep it in vibrating / silent mode etc. 8. Listening to others woes this is a trait that is seems to be vanishing. When surveyed, only 35% people claimed that others come to them with their personal problems. This is an integral part of being courteous, where they need to be patient and also provide help as much as possible. Most have claimed that they do not have time for small-talk or that they just dont care enough. 9. Socialising while inter-networking Recent social advertisements by telecom giants showed how people are using mobiles even when they are going out with their friends / relatives / loved ones. Paying more attention to a gadget rather than to the person sitting next to you is considered rude in every culture. 10. Monitoring Almost everyone (95%) responded that they are more courteous in the presence of someone whom they want to impress (elders / girlfriend or boyfriend / boss). This is a phenomenon which is proven by the Stanford Prison Experiment and its contrast with similar experiment conducted by BBC.

Contribution to Organisational Behaviour


Now the main question that remains is why is Courtesy important? Courtesy is important because it shows our respect, consideration and care for others. As such, it plays a very important role in the group behaviour in the following ways

1. Courtesy in an informal group Many people have the belief that courtesies are not required as part of an informal group in fact the way to distinguish between a formal and informal is the relative lack of courtesies exchanged between members. However, even then, basic courtesies need to be followed as it leads to an environment in the group where everybody feels as an integral part of the group. 2. Courtesy in a formal group Courtesy forms an integral part of interaction in a formal group as it is one of the pillars on which the hierarchical structure. The others are purpose and authority (which commands respect). Courtesy are required at every stage of team-building a) Forming Helps in quick integration of the team. This is often the cause for the attraction between the team members. Small acts of courtesy increase the level of comfort between the team members. b) Storming At this stage, it helps in issues coming out and being argued, but in a manner which doesnt break the group apart, rather, it leads to further bonding amongst the team members. c) Norming This is the stage when the members know each others strengths and understand everyones capabilities. During this stage the team members are generally courteous as per the accepted levels within the team. Also, a level of respect and courteousness grows towards some particular members of the group; these are usually the members who are perceived to be hardworkers or thought-leaders in the group. d) Performing During this stage, if there is outside interaction, the level of courtesy displayed by the team helps in winning the hearts of the outsiders. It is also important in any interaction outside the group with other teams. At times, the level of courtesy within the group helps in improving the performance of the group by acts of praise, encouragement by the peers and elders in the group. e) Adjourning When the team is falling apart, the courtesy defines how close the members will remain afterwards. It is considered polite to keep in touch, though not essentially too friendly (if the group was purely professional / formal in nature).

Conclusion
The studies clearly show that while our world is getting more and more tech-savvy, the less courteous it is becoming. Some of it could be attributed to the fact that many children today are brought up in nuclear families where both the parents are working. Thus, the child has less exposure to family bonding and low experience of what is expected of him/her as part of his/her culture. This crucial aspect of upbringing, when missing, leads to absence of family-based values in a child. This can lead to a lack of courteousness and a general lack of sympathy for others. In future, this may lead to unsocial tendencies. Also, a lot of us think that courteousness is a result of our upbringing, but a lot of values are part of the intrinsic nature of a child, where no part is played by the external environment. From the above discussion, it is a quite clear that without courtesy, politeness, kindness and the willingness to help others surely the world would be a very unpleasant place to live in. Saying please when we would like something, thank you when people do us a service, holding a door for the person behind us, not talking in movie theatres, covering our mouth when we yawn or cough - the list is neverending. After all, these are small but meaningful ways to make life more pleasant for the people around us.

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