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If you’re a programmer or have a basic understanding of how programming works I invite you to read some programming jokes.

I’m sure you’re going to like them because they are funny and they contain a small percentage of truth between the lines. Enjoy!

*Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”“Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”

*How many programers dose it take to change a light bulb? None – It’s a hardare problem

*Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.

*Have you heard about the new Cray super computer? It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.

*“I just saw my life flash before my eyes and all I could see was a close tag…”

*Debugging: Removing the needles from the haystack.

*Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”. The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”. “Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”

*The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware engineer with a software patch, and a user with an idea.

Rendered Obsolete in Months PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms ISDN: It Still Does Nothing SCSI: System Can’t See It MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed DOS: Defunct Operating System WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System OS/2: Obsolete Soon. If a program is useful. If a program is useless. Any given program costs more and takes longer. it will have to be documented. Too PnP: Plug and Pray APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity IBM: I Blame Microsoft MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash. 10. 8. 6.*Here are some funny laws reffering to computer programming: 1. Any program will expand to fill available memory. Undetectable errors are infinite in variety. 3.10. The Operating System Hangs AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse. The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output. is obsolete. Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later. 4. WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well. Any given program. which by definition are limited. it will have to be changed. 9. . 2. If Not. in the end I want to present you the great “CIA” (Computer Industry Acronyms) CD-ROM: Consumer Device. Any non-trivial program contains at least one bug. *And. in contrast to detectable errors. Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capabilities of the programmer who must maintain it. 7. when running. 5.