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List of human emotions and feelings
I put this list of emotions/feelings together some years ago for use in my counselling sessions. I was aware that men in particular (though of course not exclusively) were often struggling to articulate their feelings. I thought it would help to give them a list of human emotions and feelings. It did not last long! Women - on a continuum - are generally more able to identify and talk about their feelings than men. (Women also have a better memory for emotionally laden material.) On the whole, in my counselling experience I have noticed that men find it harder to express their feelings. Of course, I learned over time that not infrequently roles are switched. My list of feelings could be as useful for working with women, as it is for counselling men. Prof. Simon Baron Cohen, in his book The Essential Difference, talks about 'empathising' brains and 'systemising' brains, with men more likely to have systemising brains and women empathising brains. The 'emphasisers' are more 'in touch' with their feelings. You may also be interested in: Interpreting body language.
Why this list of emotions and feelings?
I found this list of human emotions useful at a time I adhered to what was suggested during counselling training: people should express their feelings to help them to get better. Clients were in danger of being considered to be somehow 'deficient' - for want of a better word - if they were unable to identify their feelings. As a counsellor you were expected to listen out for, identify and 'sit with' feelings - that was all people would need to be on the way to recovery, it was suggested. I still think this is helpful - for some people in some situations, some of the time. However - I have found through experience that very often more is needed to help people move on from where they are stuck. They may have done the feelings bit too much already! I focus much less on feelings now that I am using the human givens approach to therapy. I don't use this list of human emotions anymore.
List of emotions and feelings UNEASY ANGRY FRIGHTENED nervous tense anxious flustered insecure angry cross confused bored flat apathetic weak surprised uncomfortable lonely discontented See: Anger Management Tips frustrated cross irritated annoyed furious livid enraged hurt inadequate trapped tired scared embarrassed used jealous uneasy weak insecure inadequate tense anxious nervous scared petrified threatened trapped used despairing miserable lonely shocked .. Find out more .Are you a health provider/professional? Want to know why you are not getting anywhere with your patient/client?. targeted and safe sleep remedies specifically for people going through a difficult period in their life.. Are you aware how much a partner/spouse can influence an outcome? See: 'Working with Couples Workshop' testimonials. Sleep Better Forever I have collated the very best sleep tips. including the most effective.
foolish stupid awkward silly embarrassed low envious uneasy overburdened put upon pissed-off miffed disgusted contempt aggrieved terrified ashamed See also: Top 10 phobias Adrenal fatigue symptoms HAPPY POSITIVE pleased glad wonderful elated excited content surprised proud relieved satisfied confident hopeful peaceful comfortable calm relaxed warm overjoyed over the moon love grateful determined forgiving hopeful motivated daring energetic loving eager excited receptive happy caring confident assertive hopeful strong vital UNHAPPY 'UPSET' see also sad CONFUSED See: Signs of clinical depression hurt angry frustrated hurt upset .
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You may also be interested in: Types of non-verbal communication Body language signs Relationship communication Couples counselling FAQ about counselling Other helpful links: Review of The Essential Difference by simon Baron-cohen Cambridge University .article on the origin and functions of emotions Huffington Post . Simon Baron-cohen Centre for Evolutionary Psychology .Forecasting our emotions: why are we so bad at it? Return to top Subscribe to this site .Prof.Department of Experimental Psychology .
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There are various tertiary emotions in this sub-category. There is a sense of well-being. love. The various tertiary emotions relating to this sub-category are: anxiety apprehension distress dread tenseness uneasiness worry Another secondary emotion in this category is "horror". The list of emotions is as follows: alarm fear fright horror hysteria mortification panic shock terror 2 : Joy Joy or happiness has shades of enjoyment. One secondary emotion in this category is "nervousness". It is a survival mechanism that is a reaction to some negative stimulus. This comprises of a myriad of tertiary emotions like: amusement ecstasy gaiety euphoria bliss elation delight happiness jubilation Zest is another secondary emotion encompassing different tertiary emotions like: . If the fear is trivial it is called "trifling fear" or if the danger seems formidable it is a "serious fear".The secondary and tertiary emotions pertaining to these are mentioned below. There is an existence of both. The first secondary emotion is "cheerfulness". safety and contentment. List of human emotions 1 : Fear Fear is a response to some danger that is about to happen. positive thinking and positive activities. inner peace. satisfaction and pleasure. It may be a mild caution or an extreme phobia.
There are certain nuances to love regarding bonding. The secondary emotion "neglect" can be understood by the following tertiary emotions list. hurt and anguish. Such an individual usually has a sloping body. longing and lust. stuck out lips and a downcast appearance of the head. Affection includes the following tertiary emotions: fondness attraction adoration sentimentality caring Lust is related to different tertiary emotions like: arousal desire passion infatuation obsession 4 : Sadness Sadness is necessarily related to a feeling of loss and disadvantage. remorse and regret. the following tertiary emotions can be displayed: depression unhappiness misery melancholy gloom despair The secondary emotion "suffering" includes agony. Directly related to sadness. If this feeling drowns the individual it may lead to a state of depression. religious or familial. Love can be platonic. Another secondary emotion"disappointment" comprises of tertiary emotions like dismay and displeasure. romantic. 3 : Love Love arises from a feeling of profound oneness. enthusiasm excitement exhilaration thrill The other emotions included in this category are contentment. altruism and philanthropy. love is to lend self-esteem to another. friendship. relief. pride and enthrallment. "Shame" is a secondary emotion that can be linked to tertiary emotions like guilt. When a person can be observed to be quiet. less energetic and withdrawn to himself it may be inferred that sadness exists. optimism. There are three secondary emotions – affection. . As per psychology.
There are related tertiary emotions like: astonishment amazement 6 : Anger Anger is evoked due to injustice. If the purpose of the source of pain is known. humiliation. stretched skin below the eyebrows and wide open eyelids. By Abhay Burande . the magnitude of anger is altered. the individual attacks the target. the person silently sulks and feels tension and hostility. horizontal lines on the forehead. The secondary emotion "irritation" involves the tertiary emotions like: agitation aggravation grouchiness Another secondary emotion "disgust" comprises of tertiary emotions like: revulsion contempt Some other tertiary emotions include jealousy and torment. anger may be displayed. it is accompanied by raising of the eyebrows. but only the jaw may drop. If the anger is active. insecurity alienation homesickness embarrassment humiliation Feelings of sympathy and pity are also included in this category. the mouth may not open. A momentary raise in the eyebrows is the most common evidence of surprise. When one experiences surprise. If the anger is passive. Often. open mouth. One secondary emotion "rage" is further differentiated into tertiary emotions like: fury wrath bitterness loathing resentment hate loathing Frustration and exasperation are a similar type of tertiary emotions. Depending on the intensity. negligence or betrayal. when one empathizes with another. conflict. 5 : Surprise Surprise means the showing up of an unexpected result. verbally or physically.
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Sure. etc. withholding affection. If you want your long-term relationships to succeed. business partnerships.D. living with someone. Then we're going to have to stop doing the things that don't work and start doing more of the things that do. among other things. there are a few lucky souls who naturally succeed at interpersonal relationships. You should resist them at all times. BE ABUSIVE It's truly amazing how many people think it's o. This includes marriage. You've got a better chance of surviving cancer today than you do of having a successful long-term relationship. So the more you understand them. Employers abuse their employees. you must learn to resist these common abusive tendencies. other negative comments. especially those they care about most. As harmless you might think such negative interactions are. 2. to abuse other people. they are much more damaging to our relationships than most people appreciate. threatening to leave. BE DEFENSIVE In his book What Makes Marriages Succeed And Fail (Simon & Schuster. sarcastic remarks.k. family therapist John Gottman. We're going to have to learn from our mistakes and find out what really works. In the next few pages. 1994). I'm not just talking about extreme physical or emotional abuse. that married people who repeatedly become defensive when challenged or criticized by their partner have much higher rates of unhappiness and divorce. and many other social unions. But that tiny group probably doesn't include you or me! If we're going to succeed in this challenging arena.Let's face it. refusing to talk. Married couples especially tend to act as if their marriage license gives them the absolute right to verbally or otherwise abuse each other. summarizes more than twenty years of clinical research which clearly shows. Many people repeatedly engage in these subtle forms of abuse. The purpose of this Report is to shed some light on this very important subject. and visa versa. TEN WAYS TO DESTROY ANY RELATIONSHIP THAT MATTERS TO YOU 1. In order to succeed in our interpersonal relationships. we've got to be willing to admit . Most people go through life without ever understanding the key elements that make their relationships succeed or fail. I'll show you how to single-handedly destroy any relationship that matters to you in ten easy steps. Being defensive is not only destructive--it shuts you off from an extremely valuable source of feedback. I'm also including milder forms of abuse. Husbands and wives frequently abuse each other. we're going to have to do it the hard way. Even pet owners sometimes take out their frustrations on their pets. Parents and children easily fall into abusive patterns. such as daily put-downs. even if you feel justified in responding this way. Why should you want to know how to do this? Because your natural tendency will be to commit these ten mistakes anyway. the better prepared you will be to recognize and hopefully defeat them. Ph.
after all these years. I felt trapped and miserable right from the start. You will continue to commit the same mistakes.. Many people simply want to fix. the husband wanted out and couldn't be persuaded to change his mind. are usually in excellent position to recognize when we are wrong. Often. too much of either can be very damaging. look for these "truths" and be willing to admit them. by always seeking to defend your actions or point of view. rather than reject. it is another key pattern that is destructive in our relationships. If you are constantly complaining or pointing out flaws in your partner's behavior. A woman who recently consulted me for help with marital difficulties told me that her husband had suddenly announced that he wanted a divorce. there are usually deeper. If you routinely shut out this valuable source of feedback. too much damage had already been done. motives at work. The secret to dealing with criticism from others is not to reject it or act defensively." When he finally got around to telling her his feelings. While this is a very common and understandable human tendency. healthy. They are also usually more than happy to point this out to us. however. "The sting of another's criticism usually comes from the truth in it. "I've never been happy living with you. 4. They keep finding fault with people they are related to. over and over again. change. Then." If you want to have happy. Another common mistake people make is to store up their critical judgments. long-lasting relationships. more sinister. people will persist in being critical of their partners because they truly believe they are just trying to help them.. this can become annoying and unattractive. Even though this couple had been married for twenty years and had raised four children together. BE RIGHT MOST OF THE TIME . they either "explode" with criticism over some minor event. However. The only problem is we are not usually in good position to recognize when we are wrong. yet they don't let the other person know this directly. instead of voicing them openly. in the hope that we will make corrections. until the other person gets tired of this.when we are wrong. he suddenly felt this way. work very hard to validate. 3. The secret is to listen intently to everything the other person is saying about you. at least some of what the other person is saying. or they turn off their affection and the relationship slowly dies. BE CRITICAL While occasional criticism and constructive feedback is healthy in our relationships. Instead. They want to make them over to fit their own image or change their behavior to comply with their own standards.and you as well. Our partners. he responded by saying. you will damage your relationships by not letting others contribute to you. or control other people. When she tearfully asked him why. and then try to find one or more things you can agree with! Don't automatically try to defend yourself or prove you are right. Ben Franklin said.
People often engage in all sorts of major and minor transgressions. Most people dislike having others make them feel wrong. They will resent you for this. BE UNFAITHFUL Forget the vows and promises you made to each other. Here's a quote from Ogden Nash (reprinted from the June 1994 issue of Readers Digest. 7. and even if you win the argument or get your way. enduring relationships. one way or the other. Obviously.130) that states this point very well: To keep your marriage brimming With love in the loving cup. This is an excellent way to destroy any type of relationship. As a consequence. You will also know that it damages your relationship. you'll pay a price later on. you will know about it. you know intuitively that your relationship will be less likely to succeed. it rarely works to be dishonest in your relationships. Tell little "white lies" from time to time. Think only about your own wants. shut up! 5. and desires. Put your concerns first and consider others' needs much less important. Why is this so destructive? Because in order for you to be right." I'm not talking only about sexual infidelity. It's almost always wiser to let other people be right and have their way as much as possible. the other person must end up being wrong. p. another good way to destroy your relationships is to always be selfish and try to get your own way. BE DISHONEST Another great way to destroy your relationships is to be dishonest. 6. Whenever you're wrong admit it. they convince themselves such behavior is justified. needs. Say you're fully committed to another. you won't fully invest yourself. you may not want to compromise on things that are extremely important to you. BE SELFISH In addition to being right. Pretend everything is just "fine" when you are really feeling angry or upset. even though they aren't conducive to healthy. When you are dishonest. but 90% of the time. Whatever the issue might be. and this also will help it to fail. Justify your behavior by saying "those promises were made in the past. Unfortunately. many let their relationships deteriorate so far. It is especially useful if you want to destroy your marriage. Things are different now. Whenever you're right. Even if your dishonesty is never found out. Go behind your partner's back and do something you know they wouldn't appreciate.Perhaps the single biggest mistake you can make if you want to have good relationships with others is to always try to be right in your dealings with others. . when in fact you have some doubts. it will make very little difference.
you'd better reconsider. 9. It also shows that you aren't really smart at all. Make them fearful of crossing you or offending you by always responding with hostility and rage. is a sure-fire way to kill a troubled union. life in general. Always appear to know exactly what you are doing. never admit any shortcomings that might make you appear weak or stupid. . and never give anyone an even break. whether or not that agreement was openly stated or just plain understood. etc. This an excellent way to get other people to dislike you. no human being is more special or superior than anyone else. even when you don't have a clue. Always strive to win any competition. These are not the only ways you can destroy your interpersonal relationships. In truth. no more or less worthy. It will also guarantee that people who love you will get totally frustrated in their efforts to help you succeed and be happy. or believe--about relationships. Always try to get other people to think and feel exactly as you do. This way. Violating one of the sacred agreements of your relationship. however. we often don't recognize them when they are controlling our behavior. Never ask for guidance or support from others. This is an excellent way to bring romantic relationships to an end. 10. And above all else. If you've somehow convinced yourself that the previous statement isn't true. As simple and obvious as many of these mistakes appear. It's also a very good way to end up living alone. always remain certain that whatever you think. If you remember these ten patterns. you'll be way ahead of most other people. be sure to think of yourself as smarter. BE SUPERIOR If you want to destroy any type of relationship. it probably will be. PLEASE APPRECIATE ALL TEN STEPS Each of us commits these ten mistakes from time to time. 8. But they are no more or less lovable. you can prevent him or her from changing.Make no mistake about it. your partner. feel. BE CERTAIN Whatever else you do. Never let doubt or contradictory evidence creep in. or more worthwhile than other people. hipper. If your relationship wasn't dead before you decided to commit such an unfaithful act. and keep them from behaving in ways you don't approve. Try to intimidate them. growing. dominate them. than anyone else. or maybe even deciding to leave you at a later date.--is true. Sure some people develop superior skills or exceptional talents. Make it your habit to put other people down in order to feel good about yourself. This will insure you never learn anything new or useful. cooler. There are other habits which are equally destructive. This is why you should familiarize yourself with all ten and regularly keep them in mind. BE CONTROLLING Keep very close tabs on your partner at all times. prettier.
talk show host. advertisements. or poverty in the world. contributing to ending stress in people's lives.And Live Happily Ever After!.tributing to other people's financial success. It is important to acknowledge that all of the patterns discussed in this report have positive as well as negative aspects. so their "helpful" advice can be questionable as well. This purpose should be bigger than just having your relationship succeed. CLARIFY AGREEMENTS. It will. For example. disappointments. Also. ROLES. HOW TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE Here are some added tips for marital success excerpted from How To Have A Stress-Free Wedding. being right and being in control are often necessary to succeed in our jobs or professions. or reaching any other welldefined goal. Any purpose that turns you on and energizes you will work.NOTE: Additional destructive relationship patterns are discussed in Chapter 10 of my book The 14 Day Stress Cure as well as in other excellent resources listed at the end of this report. solving the problems of crime. Your best friends and family members are also susceptible to these same societal forces. Oprah Winfrey. It should also be bigger than having fun. Then. serious relationship problems will usually occur. movies. .. for instance. you'll need to disregard much of this incorrect input and challenge many of the popular notions that don't really do people very much good. and petty disagreements of married life magically disappear. ETC. and other subtle forces encourage us to act in counterproductive ways. This won't make all those little hassles. however. con. EXPECTATIONS. her T. many patterns that are destructive to our relationships are actually valued and endorsed by our society! Television programs (especially soap operas). Since then. make them seem inconsequential! NOTE: Each of you can have a different purpose or life direction. her primary relationship with the man in her life now has a focus much bigger than just the two of them. having a family. show has become even better! In addition.. contributing to ending hunger on the planet. But if a doctor takes those same patterns home and tries to use them to dominate his or her spouse or kids. the purpose of your relationship can become mutually supporting each other to become successful. having a good time. abuse. To succeed in your relationships.) PURPOSE Create a purpose for your relationship that can empower both you and your partner throughout a lifetime.V. Just make sure both you and your partner are excited about it and that you plan to dedicate your relationship to it. (Many of these tips also apply to other types of relationships as well. etc. the successful T. VALUES. must try to be right all the time. Examples of purposes that can last a lifetime and keep your relationship fresh and exciting are: contributing to the health and well-being of everyone around you. So be prepared for lots of bad or misguided information about relationships to come your way. A doctor. Doctors must also take control in certain situations and act in ways that reflect their superior knowledge and experience.V. She committed herself to doing what she can to end child abuse in the world. a book co-authored by my wife Christina and I in 1994. recently took on a new purpose for her life.
and take pleasure in letting your partner have his or her way as often as you can. the wife replied "I truly believe we made it this far because I gave in 95% of the time. (And if they don't contribute much. Always spell things out so there are no misunderstandings. Don't assume he or she understands yours either. When he interviewed them to find out the secret to their success. You must establish and protect mutual trust in your relationship. whatever happiness your partner does contribute to your life. Organize your own life and behavior so as to always deserve your partner's faith and trust as well." Don't assume that you know your partner's thoughts. or desires. GIVING IN Christina and I once attended a wedding where the minister opened the ceremony by relating the following story.It's very important for you and your partner to always clarify (that means communicate with each other openly and honestly) important agreements. Since the promises you make to each other are the foundation of your union. expectations. you won't feel cheated. Don't be eager to have your own way if you want to have a long and happy marriage. SUPPORT Make your marriage about supporting and nurturing your partner. roles. feelings. and call them to task for any major or minor violations. Don't underestimate the value of these opportunities. beliefs. you'll accept this as a bonus." When the husband was asked. especially when complaints are delivered by a loved one. you can still derive pleasure from serving another person. your relationship will likely fail. passions. But even if there is little reciprocation. Failing to do this is a major cause of "stress. While trust is necessary for the success of your relationship. He talked about a couple who were both in their 90's and who had been happily married for more than 70 years. Besides." There's real truth in this story. Make sure your partner is worthy of your trust. It's especially important in a marriage. attitudes. Without this key ingredient. etc. YOUR PARTNER ISN'T RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS Never expect your partner to bring you happiness. he replied. We don't need other people to provide this for us. It's actually much easier and more dependable to learn how to create happiness on your own. Make it your goal to give in more than 50% of the time. Then. He or she will have enough trouble managing their own life. "I too gave in 95% of the time. provided you do so of your own free will. you must each trust the other to faithfully follow through. the truth about human beings is that we all have the power to make ourselves happy any time we want. This often becomes contagious. AGREE WITH YOUR PARTNER'S CRITICISMS AND COMPLAINTS Too many people get defensive when criticized. don't be naive or stupid about granting it. feelings. They won't be able to take responsibility for yours as well.) TRUST Trust is an important part of all human relationships. . values.
(The negatives tend to stand out all by themselves!) In addition to valuing your own worth and the worth of your partner. Another part of valuing each other is refusing to blame or criticize each other when things don't go a you wish. either real or imagined. Each of you probably has differing needs for intimacy. your partner wouldn't be criticizing you unless you have done something. and other acquaintances. it will probably hurt your relationship. You also have exclusive access to their inner thoughts. for much of the time they will have a legitimate beef. Whether or not they reciprocate in kind--which will be hard for them to resist--your life will be much richer. VALUE EACH OTHER Perhaps the best advice we can give you about saving your marriage is to always value yourself and your partner. OTHER TIPS FOR MARITAL SUCCESS . And each of you has a right to be who you are. So take full advantage of this special position you occupy.While you might think you are innocent. Each of you is a separate. for communication. Never focus on the negatives about each other. preferences. friends. Again. After all." Also. and secret fantasies. Don't assume that your way of doing things. Even if we're upset or down on each other at the moment. even to your best friends! You might be strongly tempted to do this. don't dismiss your partner's feelings. or your past experiences are any more "right" or "valid" than your partner's. and be loved and accepted just that way. All people make mistakes. rather than anything you might view as "bad" or "wrong. what happens when you violate this rule is that other people agree with your negative assessments and add more of their own. but it only devalues your relationship. which is the opposite of what you truly need to do. and different human being. NOTE: You might think that by "getting things off your chest" by talking with friends you will feel much better. we don't reinforce our negative feelings by communicating them to others. learn to value the differences between you. focus on what's "good" and "right" about your partner. Always emphasize the positives and force yourself to reflect upon them frequently. and patterns of dealing with success and adversity. to deserve it. Learn to value these differences rather than criticize each other for having them. You also probably have different strengths. Often. But in the long run. Christina and I always speak highly about each other to our family. beliefs. SEEK TO PLEASE AND PLEASURE EACH OTHER Consider your marriage license a license to please and pleasure your partner. you are in the best position to know what they like and provide it for them. for time spent alone. etc. including your partner. your point of view. They encourage you to think even more negatively about your partner. Whatever the case. desires. for expressing emotions. Find some way to agree with their point of view. resist saying anything negative or critical about your partner in public. In the short run. this may be true. past histories. Take pride in pleasing your partner and adding pleasure to his or her life. distinct.
The smartest thing any man can do is to realize that women--just about all women--are much more knowledgeable about how to succeed in relationships than we will ever be. so if you empower your female partner to lead you as if you were blind you will have much greater odds of succeeding in the long run. Yes. But it's the way relationships work. You must take the leadership role and make your man realize why this makes sense. Of course the job will be easier if you pick a man who understands this from the outset. and if you try to disown the job. you'd be very wise to let them take the lead. you can train almost any man to appreciate and value what you have to bring to the partnership. (Do not give up!) Deal with problems when they first begin to emerge. Be honest with your partner at all times. You must also take the time and effort to train your man how to do things right. Never assume your marriage is secure (it isn't!). whether we know it or not. Renegotiate any promises that may have been foolishly made. (Don't ignore them or wait to see if they get worse. Forgive each other (after the fact) for any wrongdoings. your relationship will probably suffer. I know this is another unfair and unequal distribution of responsibility. or not doing. Admit your weaknesses and lack of skill in specific areas. Listen very closely whenever they start telling you things you are doing.) Always insist on win-win solutions. Forgive each other (in advance) for future wrongdoings. We need your help. Keep communicating until the problem is successfully resolved. SPECIAL ADVICE FOR WOMEN: HOW TO SUCCEED WITH MEN WOMEN: Here's some special advice just for you about how to succeed in your relationships with men. In fact. Encourage healthy growth and change. Keep your promises to each other (no matter what). or share it equally with your man. It probably won't do you any good. that they consider wrong. we've been conditioned and programmed to be total and miserable failures. but even if you have not been very selective. If you really want to succeed in your relationships with women. Read the previous section and then realize that the success of your relationships with men will be LARGELY UP TO YOU! We men have not been trained to succeed in our interpersonal relationships. SUMMARY . MEN: Take everything you know about succeeding in your relationships with women and throw it away. Fight for the best in each other (even if your partner resists you). Most of the time your ideas WILL BE WRONG. SPECIAL ADVICE FOR MEN: HOW TO SUCCEED WITH WOMEN This advice is for the benefit of any men who might be reading this report. Communicate whenever something is bothering you.
Ph.. 1988 Another superb book on relationships. HarperCollins. M. Lazarus. Contains an excellent review of common myths about love and romance that cause people to suffer and fail in their interpersonal relationships.D. False Love--Stan Katz & Aimee Lieu.D. Harper & Row. 1988 Explains how misconceptions." The Road Less Traveled--M Scott Peck.D. Women Are From Venus--John Gray.. clinical research involving hundreds of married couples studied over time. love. You Just Don't Understand: Women And Men In Conversation--Deborah Tannen. And Live Happily Ever After!--Mort Orman. this Report has helped you to begin thinking in this direction. very clear that most of us have been programmed to destroy them. I invite you to explore this subject in greater depth. 1978 One of the most popular self-help books ever written (on the New York Times best-seller list for more than 400 weeks!). Four key destructive relationship patterns are identified that have a greater than 90% predictability for marital disharmony and eventual divorce. M.D. and faulty communication patterns lead to marital disharmony and stress. TRO Productions Inc. the best way to learn how to succeed in your interpersonal relationships is to be very. this book discusses 24 marital myths. 1990 An important book that shows how women and men fail to appreciate each other's communication styles and needs. how to distinguish it from false love. D. Marital Myths--Arnold A.. New York. New York. 1994 . Touchstone Books (Simon & Schuster)... Hopefully. New York. and how to create it with your partner. misunderstandings. How To Have A Stress Free Wedding. etc.. New York. Why Marriages Succeed And Fail--John Gottman. but written in a more entertaining and less academic style. Christina and I would like to share the following books with you. Ph. M. Shows how the childhood conditioning of boys and girls leads each to live in different "realities" about life.. Explains what true love really is. CA. 1992 Similar theme to Deborah Tannen's book (above). 1985 Written by another distinguished therapist and marriage counselor. Ph.In summary.V. intimacy. Based on the clinical work of one of the leading psychotherapists and marriage counselors alive today.M. William Morrow & Co. San Luis Obispo.D.D. including "husbands and wives should be best friends. Baltimore. Men Are From Mars. Ph. 1994 An excellent book summarizing more than twenty years of detailed.. New York. Impact Publishers.D. New York... communication." "don't have sex when you're angry. which we found very helpful: Love Is Never Enough--Aaron Beck. Simon & Schuster. Ticknor & Fields." and "Marriage should be a 50-50 partnership. & Christina Chambreau. To assist you with this..
5 Initiate a conversation with the person you're interested in. If the person doesn't respond or seems preoccupied or disinterested. isn't it?" or "This place sure is packed. they're likely interested in flirting a bit. emotional distress. eh?" are just a couple examples. At the beginning of the conversation. Make eye contact. Do not stare. Houston. and much more. Breakthru Publishing. he or she probably isn't interested in flirting with you. Perhaps the best way to strike up a conversation is to start with a simple observation which ends with a question: "Nice day. This was really revealing at one point for me. Winner of an outstanding book-of-the-year award from the National Association Of Independent Publishers. and then slowly look away.D. but not for more than a moment or two. To order How To Have A Stress Free Wedding or The 14 Day Stress Cure Go to the Top of the Page || Return to Emotions & Relationships 1. you don't want to talk about anything personal. which begin when two people become engaged and extend way beyond their ceremony and honeymoon. it was in the lines of "you can't expect changes if you keep doing the same things over and over again". you are simply inviting the person to talk with you. 1991 Perhaps the best book about stress you will ever find. This is the truly fastest and easiest way to get her attracted and the relationship back on track. If you don't already know them simply make small talk. M. the show you just saw. smile with your eyes... . So what's a guy to do? 1) Give her lots of emotions and feelings. and opened my eyes to a lot of faulty behavior and what's even better is that this principle goes for all aspects of life. Just shoot the person a quick gaze. Also provides excellent tools for helping you deal with relationship problems. Reveals 65 hidden causes of stress most people fail to take into consideration. 2. If you look back and notice the person looking back to meet your eyes. the stress of physical illness. stress at work. What you say isn't important. but don't talk much about yourself and don't ask the other person personal questions I remember a good sentence explaining this. Contains several powerful checklists and stress reducing principles not contained in traditional wedding guides or other similar references.A 100+ page manual highlighting key sources of stress. Talk about the environment around you. not just dating in general . The 14 Day Stress Cure--Mort Orman.. etc. You don't really need an answer to the question. continue the conversation. If the person responds pleasantly..
Avoid jealousy and build trust in each other to help your relationship last long. don't just change your mind on her every suggestion. and cards without any reason. Write letters. These are so called "tests". And guess what? With every step she'll be losing respect in you. Make your partner feel that she/he is a very important part of your life and has a pivotal role to play. such as rapid change in behavior (doing anything out of your ordinary daily behaviors). Sometimes try to do same things at the same time such as watch the same film at the same time and then discuss it over the phone. Sharing little inconsequential details can actually make your partner very happy. 2) Don't be Easy! Lead her along the way.Don’t interrogate unnecessarily. and video conferencing. starting to go out to different kinds of places.Some examples would include being unpredictable. to have lunch on time or waking up each other in the morning strengthens your bond. Sometimes give your partner a call at an unexpected time without thinking that she/he will get disturbed.com/887677 Some Useful Tips on How to Maintain a Long Distance Relationship are as follows: Try to communicate more than once in a day if possible so as to emotionally connect with each other. you should be available otherwise he/she may deal with everything themselves and might not need you. not gaining. gifts. and ask for solutions to your relationship problems if any. Rather than cribbing over the long distance and that you cannot meet. Make your partner feel secure and be honest about everything. certain activities such as reminding you to take medicines. getting her into your own reality (try showing/doing stuff which you really like and she'll follow along) and more. Try to understand the fact that the other person too has a social life. Although some may consider it pushy. Try communicating through other mediums such as Skype.. The distance gives you the freedom of being creative! You should be reasonable about the other’s expectation and should cooperate to take the relationship further. meaning she wants to see just how far you can take her nonsense. Think about that next time you are buying food for her cat! Article Source: http://EzineArticles. Never be used by her to do things you wouldn't really do with other people. Whenever you get a chance. try to invest your time in something fruitful. It will make your partner happy and feel special. Patience and hope are the key in maintaining a long distance relationship. e-mails. Whenever your partner needs you. . occasional craziness (letting your mind loose). Long conversations are not necessary but share your problems.. Try to focus on the positive aspects more than on negative ones. send flowers. do visit your partner as a relationship cannot work only on phone calls.
This does not mean that people cannot express negative feelings in a relationship. .Relationships work the best when people go slow and take their time getting to know each other. To keep a relationship happy and healthy it is important to show appreciation on a consistent basis. Cole and Bradac. However. and Canary and Stafford's work on Relational Maintenance): Slow. people tend to expect more.Over time. people want the same thing from a romantic partner. anger and negativity become the norm. People want spouses and partners who are: Understanding Appreciative Respectful Caring and kind Helpful Trustworthy Positive Fun to be around Relationships are difficult to maintain when they are filled with conflict.Relationships work the best when partners express a positive and upbeat attitude towards each other. It also helps to be consistently supportive and encouraging. relationships fail when indifference. So. rather than a YOU versus ME approach to conflict are much happier in the long run.Say those magical words whenever you communicate and make the person feel that you just don’t get tired o f saying it! How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship For the most part. but acknowledge a partner's contributions less often. what does it take to maintain a healthy relationship? People in long-term. In fact. but Consistent . even a little negativity can create a lot of problems in a close relationship. Don't Take Each Other For Granted . By contrast. At the start of a relationship people appreciate all the things that their partners do for them.Couples feel closer and are more satisfied with their relationships when they approach problems and difficulties as a team. as time goes on. couples typically take each other for granted. talk about problems). negativity and a lack of trust. Whirlwind romances usually end in disaster. Inconsistent behavior causes misunderstandings and uncertainty. Approach Problems Together . satisfying relationships tend to do the following (this advice is adapted from Montgomery. but that there are appropriate (and inappropriate) ways of dealing with one’s negative feelings (see. Keep Things Upbeat . Genuine displays of happiness and affection go a long way when trying to make a relationship work. Couples who take an US versus the PROBLEM.
Here on earth a relationship without a daily care and direct loves just like a young plant in the desert of Sahara in a hot and cold sand-storm. evaluate. Daily. A relationship needs daily cares just like a plant. Dale Carnegie describes six ways of getting people to like you. In his seminal book ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’. Truly flowing spiritual energy from soul to soul direct or indirect. 7. But. It helps to appreciate someone for who they are rather than try to change them or how they behave (see. Be Approachable . 2. 3. 1.Relationships work the best when partners have a lot in common. the partner may participate more and more in normal life activities. Be together and venture into the storm of life in various part of the planet. Once relationship has undergone the initial delicate phase. 4. Become genuinely interested in other people. not control. It never hurts to tell a spouse that you love him or her and that you will always be there Get to know the personal and business needs of your clients One of the key skills needed in order to gather as much valuable information about your clients as possible is to be a good listener. Talk in terms of the other person's interests. Sharing what is going on in one’s life and how one feels about issues is important to do.and do it sincerely. but respect and appreciate the differences that do exist. A relationship needs a daily spiritual love. 8. A relationship without daily mutual experiences and loving care is scheduled to break apart.People need to be able to talk freely with a romantic partner. being open with a partner is not always easy because it requires spouses to tell the truth and to LISTEN to things that may be difficult to hear. If indirect spiritual love is given. 9. NO chance to survive or even grow strong. A relationship needs to trust each other.Relationships work the best when partners reassure each other of their love and commitment. Make the other person feel important . 6.Appreciate Differences . Listening in an attempt to UNDERSTAND. then more hours of indirect love . or judge is critical to having an satisfying relationship. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. relationship dynamics). Express Commitment . A partner needs your tender sweet loving care and affection. Smile. 5. Encourage others to talk about themselves. Relationship will gain experience and confidence when both of you exposed to other people and dealing with difficult situation and difficult political or cultural environments. Be a good listener.
Try to solve any problem without scratching each other but having a talk and all can be saved. Remember! They want you to understand them and think about their needs or welfare. Listening to each other. It strengthens the bond between two partners. 12. God is resource for all spiritual love. you will think of each other as pleasant and enjoyable. Like a plant without nutrient. do us. but always as direct as possible. help. one day there will be more and more occasions to share with others. And believe me. Take care of all your beloved ones. financial resources. 10. minerals or fertilizer it can’t grow healthy and stronger. and advice or supply products of their mutual creative and productive work for the joy and benefit of all creation. So. 11. What do they like and what they hates most. Keep a good communication in you daily life. A relationship needs a good communication. love needs to be dynamic and varied. . If you share positive ideas. Want to build a strong relationship? This is one of the important things you should cares about.are needed or the relationship will grow slower and be weaker or fragile or possibly break apart. Share love. A relationship needs to share. In a well established and well maintained relationship. food. A relationship needs a well understanding. Love needs to flow to grow. you’ll get benefit in return.
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