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Convinced the perfect guy doesn't exist? Maybe you should ditch the bar and head straight to the local library. By Lauren McLean

f hearing a line like, 'I've got
a thirst,

And so my eye turned to lane Eyre's
Edward Rochester. Unlike Darcy, Rochester nad a dark side. His father forced him into an unhappy marriage with an insane wife, so, as any naughty boy would do, he locked her in the attic. Sure my family warned
me off him, but

baby, and you look like my Gatorade' is enough to make you celibate, don't give

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up just yet, ladies. As I discovered early on, there's ir failproof way to meet loads of men who'll take you on amazing adventures, say all the right things and never stare at your chest.


How do you achieve this state of romantic
bliss? Head to your local library or bookshop and pick the man (character) you fancy.

I knew his softer side. Yes, Rochester was gruff, had a bad

While we tend to fall for TV hotties like

temper and became a blind invalid, but his love overcame social barriers, partner Jane's plain looks and her social awkwardness.

And The City'sMrBigandGrey's Artotomy's

His tirades about love and loss


having matching furniture. While Rochester was hobbling around with a walkine stick.

Derek Shepherd, these guys have nothing on 'book world'romantic hero Fitzwilliam Darcy, from iconic novel Pride And Prejttdice . I have to admit, when I first met Darcy at the age of 11, he was a little old for me. He was also in love with another woman, but I just took the risk
and devoted hours to re-reading proclamations

demonstrated thrt. when a strong man is enraptured, he turns to putty. If I ever left Rochester. I knew he'd assume the foetal position, cry himself to sleep every night and somehow make it look manly.

Tyler was pumping iron, refining his abs and raising an army of crazed anarchists to takc over the world. The other great thing abtlut Tyler was that he was a two-for-one deal You see, he was the second personalitl' o1'
the novel's mysterious, unnamed nat'rattlr. So when you got sick of Tyler's grim outlook on life, you could just switch to his alter-ego. rvhtr was much sweeter, less violent and eventually wanted to find a woman to love.

With Rochester, it seemed things would
neverbe dull. Yet, beingwith a guy of the 1800s had its challenges. He didn't get my need for independence, or kt-tow how to work an iPod. So, late at night, my page-turning affair with Tyler Durden began. Fight Club's Tyler was tough and smart and wanted to prove there was more to life than

of his undying devotion. While many women have fallen for men with inflated egos only to find they couldn't back it up, this was not the case with Mr Darcy' With fortune, heart-stopping looks and the vocabulary of an Oxford professor, he could
make a nun renounce her vows.

But as I got older, the qualities that attracted me to Tyler began to repulse nle.
While once exciting, the idea ef [q:ing with a man who squats in a leaky, dingy rl;.rnsion
became pretty unappealing. His fightine was also becoming juvenile, and his bid to dcstroY the world, um, just a bit too dranatic.

only such a man could exist. Who doesn't want a guy who not only cops your
criticism but also thanks you for it? Throughout our'romance', Darcy did his best to change. At first, this was intoxicating but, by the time I hit 12, his stocks began to





And so, my last love affair


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plummet. His inability to laugh at himself
became frustrating and he lacked that heart-



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There were other brief romances, but I sotln discovered that guys on the pcgc u'et'c jti:l r,' flawed as their real-life counterparts. Br'lt iit least with novels you can re-live the best lincs
and gloss over the

o o

pumping.'bad boy' charm.


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