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Newest By Week By Month By Year All Time A bus carrying many people crashed on an icy road, burst into flames, and everyone died. Upon arrival in heaven, God said, "Since you have died in a terrible way, I'll grant you one wish before I let you into heaven." The first woman, being a person always concerned on her looks, comes up to God and says "I wish to be beautiful." God grants her wish. The next person can’t decide on what to wish for, so he ends up wishing for the same thing. At this point a man at the very back of the line starts to laugh. The next couple, seeing how utterly wondrous the two have become, make their wish to become beautiful also, and the man at the end laughs even louder. One after another, the people wish for the same thing. The closer God gets to the end of the line, the harder the man laughs. When God finally reaches him, he asks "What is your wish my son?" The man says, "Make them all ugly again!" Read Less
Kickass (1180) Lame (368)
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands. Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
.. While he was there he received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend... In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. "None.. please. her tight Motorcycle clothes. he felt the need to fart. and because she is so much older than I am. she said she wanted . We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. he made the mistake of eating a jumbo can of beans. they all fly away with the first gunshot. She is so nice. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. She sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad. Before he went.Read More Kickass (889) Lame (191) KickAssHumor. tattoos. P. "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them.. she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted.." The teacher replies. We share a dream of having many more children.Read More Kickass (424) Lame (153) A teacher asks her class. When they got there. I'm 15. but he figured he could wait until they got to the movies. Dad. I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren. to show how good this website is! Kickass (705) Lame (157) A United States Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. Joshua. To add injury to the insult.I've been finding real passion with Stacy. When the Madam answered. he finds a young couple in bed. your son..Read More Kickass (461) Lame (115) There was this little boy about 10 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him..Read More Kickass (456) Lame (90) There once was this guy who was going on a date to the movies with a beautiful girl. then rate this kickass. Right after he picked her up. and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She owns a trailer in the woods.. none of the above is true. but I like your thinking. She's pregnant. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed." Then Little Johnny says. the convict gets on top of her. He walked up to a whore house and knocked on the door. we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. In the meantime.com: If you like most of the jokes or think that this is a kickass website. Inside. Stacy said that we will be very happy. Call when it is safe for me to come home! Read Less Kickass (909) Lame (159) A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. he asked .Read More Kickass (402) Lame (212) . He said. I'm over at Jason's house. how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny. But it's not only the passion. "I want to have sex with one of the .. kisses . I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Dad. Someday. Love. "The correct answer is 4. but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's.S . and I know how to take care of myself.
just looking at his drink. Friend : uhhhhhh . The man replys whats the deal man? the bar tender says to him if you can drink this half gallon of whiskey in five minutes and keep it down for another five minutes. "I was doing your laundry when I found a piece of paper with the name of Marylou on it!" screamed the wife. did you know that your license plate was .. Kickass (248) Lame (110) A couple is driving. He stays like that for half of an hour.. In a twisted turn of events his son is kidnapped and he has to chase the kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally disabled woman. "What was that for?" cried the husband. you realize that you were speeding..000 to have her body be shipped over and have her get buried there. takes the drink from the guy..Read More Kickass (173) Lame (79) One day an old couple decided to go to Jerusalem for vacation. slunk down at my desk and hoped that nobody asked me any questions. "Go get 10 of any kind of fruit or we'll tear you to pieces and if you don't we'll tear you to shreds. Then.. The cannibals surrounded them and said.. I was the best teacher EVER. "Come on man." So the 1st man comes back with 10 .. he asks for two shots the bar tender says to him we have a deal going on right now. and just drinks it all down. "Who is she? Are you cheating on me?" ". and the third guy throws a grenade out the window.Read More Kickass (329) Lame (140) Three men are shipwrecked on a deserted island.Read More Kickass (297) Lame (186) Me : So I just watched this film where a mans wife is brutally murdered by a serial killer and his son is left physically disabled...One day.... Husband: Im sorry officer.Read More Kickass (284) Lame (136) A man walks into a bar. thats a lie Ive been telling him for miles!! Husband: Shut up!! Shut the f*ck up!! No one is talking to you!! Cop: Ok then. Cop: Sir.Read More Kickass (329) Lame (147) One day people boarded an airplane... Wife: What the hell. they met a troop of cannibals. Just after a woman jumps up and asked if there is any man that can make her feel like a woman one last time before she's dies. The poor man starts crying...Read More Kickass (338) Lame (150) Three guys are skydiving and the first guy throws a brick out the window. A man gets up rips off his . two hours into the flight the pilot announces they are going to crash and there is no chance for survival. A few days after they arrived. When they land they decide to go walk into town.. then go out back and pull . I walked in 10 minutes late with a bullshit excuse. this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him. as a husband was reading the Sunday paper. The first . I was just joking. his wife smacked him upside the head with a frying pan.. The man who worked at the local funeral home told him that he could pay $150 to have her buried here of pay $4.Read More Kickass (167) Lame (67) There was this guy at a bar. . the old wife died.. so they are walking down the street until they see a woman crying. or so they think its not really deserted. The truck driver says..Read More Kickass (259) Lame (111) I used to smoke pot before class.Read More . The old . the second guy throws a stone out the window. I didnt know.
Read More Kickass (125) Lame (51) A little girl asked her mother. the first guy comes back with a peach. then we will let you live".... "Many years ago there . The leader .. "How did the human race begin?" The mother answered.Read More Kickass (183) Lame (112) ." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The leader says:" Go in a jungle and bring back a fruit. Kickass (138) Lame (60) Three men are stranded on an island. "God made Adam and Eve and they had children. and so all mankind was made. They are close to starvation. They go out looking for fruits. when a Native Tribe finds them and takes them back to their camp. "How did the human race begin?" The father answered.
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