Communication MASTERY

By Tony Jeary Forward to a Friend
© 2007 Nightingale-Conant Corporation

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Life is a series of presentations. Every person you meet, every email, voicemail, or letter you send, and every conversation you have is either a communication or a presentation. The choice is yours, but the results are incomparable. To marshal customers, partners, investors, employees, friends, and family toward your success, you must move beyond communicating and make your life a series of presentations! How effective are your communications? It's a question you may never have considered before, but one that is absolutely crucial to your success. Most people are unintentional about the way they communicate. They communicate verbally and through their body language without preparing and without honing the skills required to make each encounter an extraordinary one. But what if there were a better way? Look at your own communication skills. How many prospects do you have to tap in order to make a profitable connection? Are you able to successfully make contact with everyone you want, or do you play the numbers game, making dozens of calls and sending out dozens of mailings and messages in the hopes of getting just one or two responses? Is it easy for you to get "in," either over the phone, through email, or in person, to someone you want to pitch your products, services, or ideas to, or do you often find yourself faced with impenetrable barriers (or simply ignored by not getting a call back)? Do you get things done faster and more easily with email and voicemail, or have they added yet another layer of complication and frustration to your life? Most people rate their communication effectiveness at about 20 percent to 30 percent, which means only two or three out of every 10 communications accomplishes the desired result. The other seven or eight are wasted effort or worse ... missed opportunities. But then there are the rare few who are able to maximize virtually all of the communication opportunities they engage in. When they make a call, it gets returned fast. When they share an idea, people respond to it immediately. When they set their sights on a client, they get the client on the first try. When they make a speech, the audience is captivated. Their communications get results, and people take their desired action. Life Is a Series of Presentations There have been thousands of entrepreneurs over the years with incredible products, ideas, and services that never realized success. The difference between them and the greats — people like Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Sam Walton, Warren Buffett, and Steve Jobs — is that the greats know how to effectively convince people to do what

they want. They can marshal customers, partners, investors, employees, friends, family, and often entire markets to work collectively toward their success. They are Communication Masters, and even though their individual communication styles may vary, they have one common trait: Their communications are presentations! That word may conjure up an image of a conference room full of people, a slide projector, coffee, and bagels. But a presentation encompasses much more than just speechmaking. A presentation is, at its essence, the act of working to impact, change, or reinforce the content and state of another person's mind and actions. When you "present" instead of just communicate, you make a deep, nuanced, profound connection with people — whether it's through an email, on the phone, in a mailing or marketing piece, at a meeting, or in front of an audience. You present your message with intentionality, power, and clarity, and get a completely different outcome. The difference between merely communicating and presenting is the difference between trying to get through to a prospective client or customer and having that person ringing your phone to set up a meeting. It's the difference between sending an email, letter, or voicemail that gets misinterpreted, ignored, or deleted and one that makes the recipient get back to you quickly, with exactly the response you want. Communication Mastery is the difference that makes all the difference in the world toward achieving your goals — in just about every situation you can think of. The 3 Secrets to Communication Mastery Communication Mastery is a level few people operate at. Yet it's something that's actually quite easy to achieve. The difference is in the way the message is prepared and received, and it can be achieved by integrating three simple principles into your daily communications: 1. Get Clear on Your Objectives Ordinary communicators whip off an email, leave a quick voicemail, or rush into a meeting with their minds on something else. Communication Masters, on the other hand, imagine each and every communication event down the line to its ideal conclusion before they ever start typing, talking, or walking into a conference room. And they do it by asking — and answering — four questions: • • • • What specific desired outcomes do I personally want from this communication? What action do I want the recipient(s) to take as a result of my presentation? What must the recipient(s) know, say, or do differently when my presentation is over? When are these actions required?

Let's say, for example, that you're leaving someone a voice message. Do you want the recipient to call you back with a certain piece of information, write you a letter, tell his or her assistant to schedule a meeting, buy your product immediately, or simply get his or her mind turning in preparation for a follow-up presentation? Articulate to yourself exactly what the goal of your presentation is, and exactly what the recipient has to do in order for that goal to be achieved. You may even want to write down the objective in either a short sentence or short list of bullets and then keep that list handy and top of mind during the presentation. 2. Apply the Presentation Platinum Rule We all know The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you. This is good advice, but those who communicate effectively use the Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they want to be done unto. Communicate the way others want to receive your message — not the way you like to be communicated to! Everyone receives and processes information differently. Once you realize this distinction about human nature, your power and communication effectiveness will be enhanced. Master Communicators are flexible. They rarely make the same presentation twice because they know each recipient is different. They learn the composition of the person or people they're presenting to before the presentation begins, then adjust accordingly. The best way to determine how people want to receive your message is to take a look at how they communicate their own messages to you. The more your communications are able to mirror back to the recipients their own likes and preferences, the more likely they are to respond quickly and positively to your message. If they use email, you use email. If they always call you, use the phone. (See Match your Recipient's Communication Style.) You can utilize the Platinum Rule even if you've never met the person you are making a presentation to. Imagine, for example, that your goal is to create a joint venture between your organization and XYZ Industries, and in order to do it, you need to get your proposal to the president—someone you've never met. What does XYZ Industries' website look like? Do they have a public persona, a "vibe" they want to convey? How does the president dress — conservatively, casually, or with an edge? Are there any articles about him or her or interviews that you can read? Does the corporate literature contain any letters-from-the-president — type content that might offer some insights into his or her personality, likes, and dislikes, or do you have any shared acquaintances who may be able to give you insight? All of this information will enable you to shape your presentation in a way that will resonate with your prospect on a deep personal level. For example, if the president is young and the XYZ is a web company, you might send an audio postcard via email. If the company is a manufacturing company without a website, you might infer that a personal letter is best. 3. Address the 'So What?' Factor

The difference between communicators and Communication Masters is that masters constantly and continuously target the recipient(s) pains, needs, and objectives with every presentation opportunity. They can imagine their recipient saying, "So what?" to each and every idea, bullet point, or sentence. And they make sure that their presentation delivers the response to that "So what?" Most people, excited about the opportunity to sell their idea, product, or service, spend so much time talking about what excites them about the opportunity and the need they think it solves for their prospect, they never take the time to truly dig into the recipient's pains or objectives. And, this is why most presentations fail. It has nothing to do with the opportunity; the failure is in the delivery because the "So what?" factor was never addressed, and the recipient never made the connection between the needs in his life and the opportunity presented. Your first communication should be entirely exploratory, whether by email or in person. Ask leading questions. Take detailed notes. Resist the urge to offer solutions or answers. This is difficult at first, because you are naturally excited about the opportunity you have to offer. But, it is only an "opportunity" if the recipient recognizes it as an opportunity — if it satisfies their "So what?" Once you have identified the needs, weave those into every communication. Make sure that every presentation — every email, voicemail, or face-to-face meeting — recognizes those pains and addresses them. Make constant and continuous connection with your recipients, and you will have overcome the "So what?" factor. Achieving Communication Mastery You're already doing the work of communicating: You're having the conversations, writing the emails, making the phone calls, giving the speeches. Simply by integrating these three principles into all of those efforts, you will transform them from mere communications into presentations ... and in so doing, multiply their effectiveness exponentially. You will accomplish more through your communications than you ever knew you could, and you'll do it in less time and with less effort than you will believe. Presentation Power Tips Here are four tips to turn everyday communication into effective presentations: Email Presentation Power Tip Establish the purpose of your email for the recipient upfront, in one clear, concise sentence. Use concise phrases, not verbose sentences, in the body of the email. If you know your recipient's style (slow or fast, task-oriented, or social connector), tailor the length and meat of the phrases accordingly. But remember, everyone wants email to be efficient. Phone Presentation Power Tip If you expect to reach someone live on the phone, be sure to plan for what you will say if you get voicemail. People often get caught off-guard by voicemail and leave a jumbled less-than-ideal communication. Before picking up the phone, briefly plan a concise message in the event that you get voicemail. Be prepared to reach your prospect's assistant. Executive assistants are the front line of executive communication, and your entire opportunity could be lost or hindered by

an ineffective or disorganized communication. Prepare for this presentation as you would for any other, utilizing the three principles of Communication Mastery. Group Presentation Power Tip If you are presenting to a small group, get the members involved early. For example, you might try asking each member of the group to share one personal objective for your meeting. In this way, you generate a sense of shared purpose and get the group members engaged in a personal way with what you are discussing. Public Speaking Presentation Power Tip Before presenting to a group, mingle with some of the participants beforehand. Ask them what they are interested in hearing and pre-sell some of your ideas. This will give you a connection with the audience and also give you a chance to adjust or target your speech, depending on the feedback you received. If possible, learn the environment before you have to present. Walk the room, sit in some of the chairs, walk the stage. This will give you a mental "ownership" of the space, which will translate into a greater sense of comfort, confidence, and authority. Match Your Recipient's Communication Style Master Communicators know how their recipients want to receive information and adjust their communication styles to match. The Slow Talker If the recipient talks slowly and methodically, and exhibits a thorough approach to meetings, emails, and discussions, you must do the same. Break your ideas into highly structured communications that cover all details. The Fast Talker If the recipient is fast talking and extroversive, has high energy, and moves quickly from one idea to the next, you will need to stay dynamic. Cover multiple ideas and maintain high energy and passion in your communications. Be Task-Oriented If your recipient has a "bottom line" mentality, gets to the point, and doesn't linger in conversations, your communications need to be task-oriented. Keep your emails efficient; use short concise phrases. Connect highly action-oriented tasks to clear benefits. Achieve Social Connection If your recipient is very conversational and talks about off-topic experiences, this person needs to make a social connection in his or her communications. Build more emotion into your presentations and maintain fluidity. This person needs to know you connect and emphasize with them. Practice all these tips, put them in your presentation arsenal and you've got a great start to becoming a communication master! And remember, life is a seri About The 10 Qualities of Charismatic People

Did you ever notice that when some people walk into a room - all heads turn? Or when some people speak – they captivate everyone around them. And how about the type of people who when you shake their hand, you instantly trust them … believe them … and like them! What’s their secret? What do they have that most people don’t? It’s called …charisma — undoubtedly one of the most desirable qualities in the world. By developing charisma: • • • • • •

Charisma, A Mysterious Trait? Personal Magnetism Studies of Charisma Bill Gates Story

You get far more respect than the average person! Need audio People seem to adore you without any effort on help? Click here your part! You exude huge amounts of self-confidence and self-esteem! You seem extremely powerful without being intimidating. You put people at ease and make them feel understood! And you’re able to easily get what you want, because people instinctively want to help you!

Charisma is easy to spot. And at the same time it’s not so easy to put your finger on exactly what it is about a person that makes him or her charismatic. It’s an attractiveness that goes beyond good looks, an appeal that can’t be labeled as intellectual brilliance or a terrific sense of humor. Most people see it as something elusive and unachievable—a kind of magical, mysterious magnetism that you’re either born with or not. And the fact is that nothing could be further from the truth! Now you can be the person everyone wants to be like! Relationship expert Dr. Tony Alessandra wanted to demystify charisma and reduce this characteristic to its foundation. Tony spent years researching the lives, behaviors, and characteristics of charismatic people from all walks of life in order to discover the qualities they all shared. In the process, he made a fascinating discovery. Charisma is not based on genetics, IQ, social position, or luck. It’s actually a skill. And anyone can learn and master it. Once he debunked the myth of charisma, Tony set out to create a simple, step-bystep system that would enable anybody to develop it. In his latest audio program, The 10 Qualities of Charismatic People, Tony offers a complete how-to guide to accessing and developing the kind of powerful personal magnetism that will draw people to you, make them feel comfortable with you, and compel them to help you achieve your personal goals. Turn your assets into powerful personality “magnets” Tony’s research uncovered 10 Universal Keys to Charisma — 10 specific qualities that

are present in each one of us, but are all highly developed in truly charismatic people. The secret to becoming an extremely charismatic person is identifying these 10 qualities within yourself and learning how to develop each one as fully as possible. You might think of these qualities as 10 glasses. The more developed a particular quality is, the fuller that glass is. Right now, some of your glasses may be filled almost to the brim, while others are only slightly full. In The 10 Qualities of Charismatic People, you’ll examine each of these 10 keys in depth. Powerful real-life examples of charisma in action will help you understand why these skills are so vital to your success. Quizzes, exercises, and anecdotes will help you assess your current level of ability in each area. And you’ll learn specific techniques, skills, and strategies that target each area and that will help you develop each one to your maximum ability. Once you do, that magical, mysterious power that attracts people and wins them over will be yours! A royal example of the power of learned charisma and what it can do! A classic example of someone who learned charisma and used it to flourish is the late Princess Diana. When she first arrived on the public scene as young Diana Spencer, she was a shy, awkward girl, with no presence at all. But by learning how to maximize the aspects of her personality that had the most potential, she blossomed from "Shy Di" into an international icon. Beloved by millions around the world, the power of her presence went much deeper than her beauty, confidence, or title … and it enabled her to gain tremendous financial and media support for the humanitarian causes most important to her. In this program, you’ll discover all the tools you need to experience this same kind of profound personal transformation in your own life. Develop the single most advantageous skill in the world Charisma gives you a tremendous advantage in almost every conceivable situation, from business meetings and sales calls, to getting your kids to do their homework or getting the cooperation of a store clerk or teacher. Just imagine how much easier your life will be when people are instantly drawn to you and automatically want to help you. You’ll be able to inspire people, ignite their enthusiasm, persuade them to see things your way, and do what you want them to—without creating defensiveness or resentment. Whether you’re running a corporation, a department, a classroom, a volunteer program, or a household, there’s no skill more valuable than the ability to positively influence others. You already have the potential to be more charismatic. Once you unlock it, you’ll have an extraordinary edge in life shared only by a select few. Utilize the power of "charisma" for yourself.

An Unspoken Secret of Great Communicators
By Peter Thomson Forward to a Friend
© 2007 Nightingale-Conant Corporation

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How sharp are your listening skills? Take this simple quiz and find out: • • • • • How many animals of each SPECIES did Moses take onto the ark? Some months have 31 days; some have 30 days. How many have 28 days? You go into a log cabin with one match in a matchbox. In the cabin is a woodburning stove, a paraffin lamp and a candle. Which do you light first for maximum WARMTH? Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth? How far can a three-legged tiger run into the woods?

For the answers, read on ... How many opportunities do you have in your life to make a difference with your power of communication? Thousands! Dealing with your family, your friends, your business colleagues, suppliers, doctors, dentists — the list is endless. When you can communicate your messages to these people powerfully, persuasively, and passionately, your success by any definition will be assured. In more than 30 years of research into communication, fascination with the subject, and practical application in my own life, I've discovered that all great communicators share certain distinct secrets in common. Begin using these secrets today and your communications will take on a degree of power and effectiveness that will absolutely amaze you. One secret is Dynamic Listening. Studies have shown that it is the great listeners who get the raises, promotions, and perks in life, not necessarily the great talkers. The purpose of the quiz at the start of this article was to illustrate this. If you have not figured them out already, here are the answers: • • • • • It wasn't Moses who went onto the ark — it was Noah. All the months have 28 days. You'd need to light the match first! Everest was the highest mountain on Earth even before it was discovered. Halfway is the answer, because after halfway, it will be running "out" of the woods!

Any surprises? That's because in most of those questions I was using a technique that I call "sleight of voice." You've probably seen a stage magician, perhaps on TV, use sleight of hand to misdirect your attention. The same technique can apply to spoken or written communication. For example, when you looked at the emboldened word SPECIES, perhaps you didn't notice the name Moses quite as much as you might have if the word hadn't been highlighted.

This confusion or misdirection often occurs in everyday speech, sometimes deliberately, but usually the speaker is simply unaware of the effect of his or her words. Unfortunately, it is often the listener who is at fault, by engaging the "filters" in the brain and consequently mishearing what is said. Those filters are the paradigms through which they hear the world. Generalization of information and deletion of information are two other common filters that impede our ability to effectively listen, and therefore to successfully communicate. One of the simplest and best methods for keeping your filters in check and improving your listening skills is called Rapid Repeat. It works like this: When someone talks to you, simply repeat what he or she says in your mind, as the person is talking. You'll hear a slight echo of the words, but in the sound of your own voice. This has a number of benefits. Some scientists claim that every 11 seconds we engage in self-talk. It's no wonder that we don't always hear what someone else is saying. When you use Rapid Repeat, you give your mind something to do. It doesn't need to wander off thinking about next year's vacation or whether you put the cat out before going to work. You'll also find when you use this technique that your level of concentration increases and your recall of information improves dramatically. Just imagine having a conversation with a group of people at 7:30 a.m. and then meeting up with them again at 11:30 p.m. and being able to use their names and refer specifically to the detail of the conversation you had earlier. Wow! Rapid Repeat will do that for you, and a lot more.

An Unspoken Secret of Great Communicators
By Peter Thomson Forward to a Friend
© 2007 Nightingale-Conant Corporation

Subscribe

How sharp are your listening skills? Take this simple quiz and find out: • • • • • How many animals of each SPECIES did Moses take onto the ark? Some months have 31 days; some have 30 days. How many have 28 days? You go into a log cabin with one match in a matchbox. In the cabin is a woodburning stove, a paraffin lamp and a candle. Which do you light first for maximum WARMTH? Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth? How far can a three-legged tiger run into the woods?

For the answers, read on ...

How many opportunities do you have in your life to make a difference with your power of communication? Thousands! Dealing with your family, your friends, your business colleagues, suppliers, doctors, dentists — the list is endless. When you can communicate your messages to these people powerfully, persuasively, and passionately, your success by any definition will be assured. In more than 30 years of research into communication, fascination with the subject, and practical application in my own life, I've discovered that all great communicators share certain distinct secrets in common. Begin using these secrets today and your communications will take on a degree of power and effectiveness that will absolutely amaze you. One secret is Dynamic Listening. Studies have shown that it is the great listeners who get the raises, promotions, and perks in life, not necessarily the great talkers. The purpose of the quiz at the start of this article was to illustrate this. If you have not figured them out already, here are the answers: • • • • • It wasn't Moses who went onto the ark — it was Noah. All the months have 28 days. You'd need to light the match first! Everest was the highest mountain on Earth even before it was discovered. Halfway is the answer, because after halfway, it will be running "out" of the woods!

Any surprises? That's because in most of those questions I was using a technique that I call "sleight of voice." You've probably seen a stage magician, perhaps on TV, use sleight of hand to misdirect your attention. The same technique can apply to spoken or written communication. For example, when you looked at the emboldened word SPECIES, perhaps you didn't notice the name Moses quite as much as you might have if the word hadn't been highlighted. This confusion or misdirection often occurs in everyday speech, sometimes deliberately, but usually the speaker is simply unaware of the effect of his or her words. Unfortunately, it is often the listener who is at fault, by engaging the "filters" in the brain and consequently mishearing what is said. Those filters are the paradigms through which they hear the world. Generalization of information and deletion of information are two other common filters that impede our ability to effectively listen, and therefore to successfully communicate. One of the simplest and best methods for keeping your filters in check and improving your listening skills is called Rapid Repeat. It works like this: When someone talks to you, simply repeat what he or she says in your mind, as the person is talking. You'll hear a slight echo of the words, but in the sound of your own voice. This has a number of benefits. Some scientists claim that every 11 seconds we engage in self-talk. It's no wonder that we don't always hear what someone else is

saying. When you use Rapid Repeat, you give your mind something to do. It doesn't need to wander off thinking about next year's vacation or whether you put the cat out before going to work. You'll also find when you use this technique that your level of concentration increases and your recall of information improves dramatically. Just imagine having a conversation with a group of people at 7:30 a.m. and then meeting up with them again at 11:30 p.m. and being able to use their names and refer specifically to the detail of the conversation you had earlier. Wow! Rapid Repeat will do that for you, and a lot more.

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