Marriage Contract 1.

Intent The intent of this contract is to join, in Holy Matrimony, BARRY and TABATHA as a lawful husband and wife; to outline the lawful and agreed-upon duration of this contract; to outline all property-sharing duties, responsibilities, and privileges; to outline duties of each party as to their roles and responsibilities within the realm of the household appropriate for a lawfully-married couple as BARRY and TABATHA deem appropriate; to recognize the role of domesticated canine ICARUS, domesticated canine ASINUS, minor child THE GIRL and minor child THE BOY within the familial relationship; to provide for an appropriate manner of dissolution of marriage contract should either party find an egregious and irreconcilable breach of this contract; and to outline the general terms of the manner in which this contract shall be in force. 2. Duration This contract shall be considered valid and lawful until the end of the natural life of one or both parties, unless dissolved appropriately according to Article 6 of this document. 3. Property A. The financial incomes of BARRY and TABATHA shall remain separate, and will be maintained within each party's personal and separate control, for the duration of this contract. B. The responsibility of payment for household bills and other necessary expenses shall be distributed evenly upon both parties when income permits. In the event of unemployment, disability, or other loss of income, responsibility for payment of household bills and expenses shall fall upon the party most reasonably able to make such payments. C. Division of ownership of property purchased jointly during the valid duration of this contract shall be determined according to the percentage of purchase price each party has paid for the purchase of said property. D. Until and unless proper dissolution of contract has been made according to Article 6 of this document, all real estate and enclosed vehicles shall be considered to be of shared ownership between both parties and will be made available to either at any time considered reasonable throughout the duration of this contract. E. Domesticated canine ICARUS and domesticated canine ASINUS shall be considered, for the duration of this contract, the shared property and responsibility of BARRY and TABATHA. F. All personal property, belongings, effects, etc owned by either party, regardless of whether ownership was claimed prior or during the valid term of this contract, shall be retained by owning party throughout the term of this contract and shall be unaffected by proper dissolution of this contract under Article 6. Personal property mentioned in Article 3 Section F of this contract shall include, but not be limited to, the following: Computers, televisions, cellular telephones, and other miscellaneous electronics and associated media devices. Musical instruments, recording equipment, and all associated items. Firearms and ammunition. Clothing, including but not limited to “fuzzy socks”. Original (including both tangible and digital) copies of all artwork, writing, audio and video recordings, etc. G. Ownership of any Real Estate properties, enclosed motor vehicles, or tangible items valued at or above five hundred (500) United States Federal Reserve Notes and purchased individually by

either contracting party, either prior to or during the valid term of this contract, shall revert to the purchasing party in the event of dissolution under Article 6 of this document. H. Ownership of any Real Estate or tangible property, regardless of appraised value, “gifted” to either contracting party individually, or to both parties jointly, by a member of either contracting party's blood-related family, shall in the event of proper dissolution of this contract according to Article 6 of this document, revert to the party blood-related to the provider of such gift, unless such gift was expressly given to the other contracting party as a personal gift. I. Ownership of any monies, Real Estate, or other tangible properties obtained as the result of inheritance due to death of a blood-related family member of either party, shall remain in the possession of the party blood-related to the deceased, during the valid term of this contract. In the event of appropriate dissolution of this contract according to Article 6 of this document, ownership shall remain with the contracting party blood-related to the deceased. 4. Duties of Contracted Parties A. Duties of TABATHA shall include, but not be limited to, the following: Ensuring, to the best of her abilities, that BARRY has at least one pair of matching socks every day at 6:00AM. Providing sammiches to BARRY, upon request and when deemed reasonable. Retrieval of cold adult beverages, for enjoyment by BARRY, upon request and when deemed reasonable. Providing an appropriate degree of physical consortium to BARRY, upon and according to request, when deemed reasonable. Instilling a proper level of discipline, love, and morality upon minor child THE GIRL and minor child THE BOY. Providing proper instruction to minor child THE GIRL, pertaining to how a young lady should conduct herself, including all requisite responsibilities of a young lady. B. Duties of BARRY shall include, but not be limited to, the following: Providing for the health, safety, security, and general well-being of TABATHA, minor child THE GIRL, minor child THE BOY, domesticated canine ICARUS, and domesticated canine ASINUS. Ensuring, to the best of his abilities, that TABATHA does not lose her general “shit” at any given moment. Providing cuddles, hugs, pokes, and other physical affection to TABATHA when necessary and appropriate. Providing an appropriate level of warms and/or cools, dependent upon weather conditions and within reasonable ability. Providing Jack Daniels, Smirnoff, and/or cookies to TABATHA, upon request and when deemed reasonable. Providing an appropriate degree of physical consortium to TABATHA, upon and according to request, when deemed reasonable. Instilling a proper level of discipline, love, and morality upon minor child THE GIRL and minor child THE BOY. Providing proper instruction to minor child THE BOY, pertaining to how a young man should conduct himself, including all requisite responsibilities of a young man. 5. Familial Relationship to Minor Children and Domesticated Animals During the valid term of this contract and upon reaching the age of twelve (12) years and reaching a level of emotional maturity deemed appropriate by TABATHA and BARRY, minor child THE GIRL and minor child THE BOY shall have the option to seek legal remedy through an appropriate court for the purpose of lawfully change their names to ___________________ and

_______________________, respectively. In the event of contract dissolution according to Article 6 of this document, if minor child THE BOY or minor child THE GIRL have exercised the option of name-change as outlined above, each child shall have the option of keeping or reverting with respect to their surnames. In the event of contract dissolution according to Article 6 of this document, domesticated canine ICARUS and domesticated canine ASINUS shall have their respected ownership revert back to BARRY. Prior to the purchase or other acquisition of any further domesticated animals, for the role of household pet or livestock, ownership status in case of dissolution according to Article 6 of this document shall be determined. Unless and until such dissolution occurs, ownership and responsibility of such animals shall remain shared equally between BARRY and TABATHA. 6. Method of Dissolution. If a situation involving infidelity or irreconcilable differences between BARRY and TABATHA, either party shall have the option to dissolve this contractual obligation without the use of any court of law, may it be a court of law within the state of Texas or any other court of law within the United States of America or any other court of law within any other nation. This contract may be dissolved and voided at any time for reasons of infidelity or irreconcilable differences, and the dissolving party shall not be required to obtain consent from any other party in any form. In the event that dissolution of this contract shall occur, all articles of this contract pertaining to property ownership, domesticated animals, and familial relationship of minor child THE GIRL and minor child THE BOY shall remain in force as outlined in their respective articles. If dissolution is desired, the following steps must be made by the party seeking dissolution of the marriage contract: A. Dissolving party shall provide notice, either verbal or written, to other contracted party and wait for a period not less than seven days B. Dissolving party shall sign and date his or her copy of this contract, under the appendix entitled “Dissolution by Individual Consent”, in the view of two witnesses and a notary public within the state of Texas. C. Dissolving party shall bark like a dog while hopping on one foot in a vertical reciprocating manner for a period not less than ten minutes. D. Dissolving party shall pay a one-time fine of two hundred and fifty (250) United States Federal Reserve Notes to other contracted party for alcohol and adult entertainment expenditures related to depression and/or celebration. Fine shall be paid in single-dollar denomination. E. Dissolving party shall, upon notice of dissolution, provide a sammich to other contracted party. Sammich shall be prepared according to request of other contracted party. F. Dissolving party shall, upon completion of steps outlined in Article 6 Sections A-C and delivery of United States Federal Reserve Notes outlined in Article 6 Section D and sammich outlined in Article 6 Section E, shall verbally convey the message of “I choose to divorce you.” in no less than seven different languages, and shall not make use of English or Spanish in the exercise of Article 6 Section F. G. Dissolving party shall, upon completion of steps outlined in Article 6 Sections A-F, remove any and all personal belongings and other tangible items owned by dissolving party from any Real Estate belonging to other contracted party. Removal of such items shall be performed in a timely manner not to exceed fourteen (14) days from the time of completion of steps outlined in Article 6 Sections A-F. 7. Method of Enacting and Effecting Contract of Marriage.

This contract shall go into effect beginning the Nineteenth Day of April, in the Year of Our Lord 2014, upon agreement and notarized signatures of contracting parties BARRY and TABATHA. Upon entering this contract, BARRY and TABATHA shall enjoy all customary rights and privileges traditionally granted upon entering a marriage contract, with the explicit exception of those outlined in Article 8 of this document. Rights and privileges to be enjoyed shall include, but not are not limited to, the right of TABATHA to assume the married surname of ________________, the right to file under the status of “Married/Jointly” on any tax return for the benefit of being robbed of as little of our combined earned income as possible, and the right to be considered “Next of Kin” in the event of any medical issue. 8. Waiver of Certain Rights and Privileges in Event of Dissolution. By signing this contract, BARRY and TABATHA hereby agree to waive any right or privilege to file any suit of any type or nature with any court of law within the state of Texas or any other court of law in any other state within the United States of America or in any other nation on the planet known as “Earth”. Rights and privileges waived in Article 8 of this contract include the right to file a suit of divorce and the right to seek a court order granting third-party arbitration in matters of separation of property.

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