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brain Stem: Survical brain( memory) Why don’t we help help people evn though we empathize with them? Sometimes we help and sometimes we dont! Why? Ans: We are too much focussed on ourselves What is the relation between IQ and emotional Intelligence? There is very remote relation with IQ and EI. Only IQ can not make a successful employee. -> a person can have an IQ of 160 but EI very less Study at Harvard: How did grades in graduate School predicted success in that Career(In bussiness school, medical school, law school etc). Its Zero. Correlation is Zero. They only predict how well you do in school. Competency Model: If you were to hire an employee what traits you have to look. Look at the employee in your own organization and look for people who are star performers(the top 10%) - look for those traits in the prospective employee. this is called competency model approach Emotional intelligence means how to manage ourselves,our relationships, how self aware we are, how motivated we are, whether we can handle distressing feelings, how empathetic we are, how socially skilled and abled we are -> As important as IQ Does that mean it is being nice to your fellow workers? No. It might be being blunt, bringing up something that the other person have been dodging, you got to face it. That is EI if you do it effectively
There are 5 components of EI: 1. Self-Awareness: Knowing your feelings and using those as a guide. If you make your life decisions keeping your deepest values, listening to how it feels, as wells as what your rational mind tells you-> This step important for decision making. Study: A very success ful lawyer who when having a surgery, they snipped connection between Amygdala and PFC. Lawyer went to Damasio(psychologist) because his life was collapsing. Lawyer seems to function well like before, but he couldnt keep his job, his wife left him. Attention, memory, IQ is very high but he couldnt keep a job. When damasio asked about next ppointment, lawyer was able to give pros and cons for next two week but could give a date and time. Our emotional centres does have the ability to take decision(it is very primitive part of the brain) -> Lawyer was unable to take adecision.
2. Managing your emotions: Esp. managing disturbing crippling, dysphoric emptions. Your said words to people which you dont mean etc 3. Motivation: Keep working with your goals 4. Empathy: Knowing how people are feeling without being explicitly said. Empathy is extraordinarily important study at Stanford: 4 year kids of standford grads. They were put a marshmellow infront of them and told not to eat it. If they dont eat it for 5 mins, they will be given 2 marshmellows.1/3rd couldn’t stand and ate it and 2/3rs got 2 marshmellows. Researchers followed them for 15 years. It turned out that kids who waited were able to pursue their goals, gratification, get along with friends, got more than 210 points on SAT than standard deviation. 5. Social skills: How can you deal with relationships? Dealing with people and conflicts, be the kind of person people like to work with. This concept is developed by studying neuroscience and Psychology. Basically the discovery is that emotional part of the brain is a primitive part of the brain which was developed earlier in evolution is involved in every thought, every decision, has the ability to kidnap and hijack rest of the brain in times of emergency or threat and it is enormously powerful in our mental lives. Emotional brain works with thinking part(neo cortex).Each person has few strong or weak points in the above 5. Unlike IQ which is kind of stable, EI is highly(can be) learned, tends to increase every decade of our life. The circuitry responsible for IE is malleable. It is called neuroplasticity. We can continue to strengthen and build it. One of the thing is Meditation. Kids don’t have a lot of EI. You have to help them empathize.
Based on a number of studies, companies are looking for these qualities in candidates: 1. Cognitive ability(IQ) 2. Technical expertise 3. Emotional Intelligence range. (persuading people, collaborating in teams, leading people, leading change, consensus builders.This needs sustained effort and can be learned as pointed out already) Across companies(founds in many many studies), what distinguishes star performers from average is EI. EI is important than IQ+technical expertise combined. 6 top competencies are found to be distinguishing star performers in companies from average.
1. Who have internally standards for success. They are not driven by other people and they themselves know how good something should be and they hold to that standard. They wanted to keep getting better. 2. Impact/Influence: Being able to make persuasive arguments, being able to hold your arguments, tailor a presentation to audience 3. Conceptual thinking: What can be made to make a difference? what can I do to make a difference? 4. Anticipating obstacles, drawing logical conclusios. 3 and 4 are cognitive abilities. 12 and 5 are with in IE domain 5. Taking on challenges without being told to do so, being persistent in tackling problems-> IQ and technical expertise are threshold abilities, you need to have enough of these abilities to do the job. What distinguishes/stands out them is the IQ -> Many employees in Computer Industry are very brain (high IQ) but has less EI. Can we teach EQ? Yes. But they want to improve those. Needs practise. Can we make someone empathetic? Yes but they want to become empathetic. Very important in customer service. Is this new? Yes. Companies are changing. People leave companies because they had bad boss, not because of bad company. If you have customer service in a company who are emotionally intelligent, then it is highly likely that the consumer will come back. Also in restaurants -> representative of the company impacts how the consumers look at the company. Eg: Bad baror..you don’t want to go to that restaurant again. Brain is an elegant machine for survival and has been shaped by what works in survival. It turned out that mammals, you need to have brain that registered emotions because emotions have in evolution the primary survival function. Brain has 'amygdala', has a privileged position in perception. Everything we see goes mostly to sensory cortex, but a small part goes to amygdala. Amygdala scans and sees if it is a threat. That’s a constant question in evolution. Is this a threat? If yes, it has ability to trigger what is called HPA axis, it changes the entire way brain prioritizes information. Ex: Fear. it triggers memory, we remember and think about only what pertains to the thing that is scaring, send energy to limbs to flee Amygdala works now but we operate now in a complex symbolic reality and it is symbolic threats. (She is threating me etc)
Amygdala Hijacking: A very strong emotional response, Its sudden and intense and you do something or say something. -> you shout then feel bad. Amygdala takes us over here. When we have an impulse from amygdala that goes up to an area known as Prefrontal cortex. PFC is a very important, brain's executive centre, draws information from all over the brain. When amygdala hijacking happens, PFC scans all other incoming information and sends message(ex: when you are shouting, reminding that you are talking to your boss) When amygdala hijacking happens, it takes the PFC.
Social Brain: This is newly discovered. Discovery occured when neuroscientists decided to go beyong studying one brain,one person. When two brains/people are interacting, they discovered circuits that they didn't even existed. They discovered that brain is designed to connect, are wired to connect with social brain of other person. this part of the human body is attuned to react and regulate itself according to internal state of other brain.
If there is rapport between two people, it is like a intimate brain to brain connection. If you see the brains while moments of rapport, you are seeing social brain in action. The neurology and physiology of the two bodies are connected. If the two people are not connected intimately, their physiology is independent. There are three ingredients of rapport
1. Both people are paying full attention. 2. the non-verbal looks like a choreographed dance. understanding non-verbal feeling/statements. Social brains do the dance. 3. It feels good.
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