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Part One Spring sunshine on the grass. The white stone of Cripps gleamed.

One pair of curtains remained drawn. And this was no CompSci, but Mafia HQ. In the darkness, the mafia boss sat at his desk; thinking, waiting. He took his Vitamin D tablet. The guard cat meowed. Guard cats are uncommon. This is, in general, due to the difficulty of training cats to guard. Where dogs would, after some short time, be able to consistently respond to stimuli, cats tend to: stare blankly, walk away, or go to sleep. However, for those in the business of evil, having a cat to hand in critical situations adds certain panache: launching a villains reputation from mere wrong-doer to Machiavellian mastermind. So it was that the mafia resorted to experimental pharmacology to develop guard cats. The guard cat ran towards its master. There was a knock on the door. It was none other than Jeffrey. He squinted as he entered the darkness. He began to speak. I seek your help. This Tuesday I bought some strawberry yoghurt. From Sainsburys. I placed it in the fridge like a good student. But when I went to the kitchen this morning, it was gone. I wept. Now I will never taste strawberry yoghurt again. I went to Will Oram. He sent some emails, but nothing was done. I said to myself, for justice I must go to the mafia. Why did you go to Will Oram, why not come to us first? You want pennies; I begged and borrowed engineers pennies. But I plead with you, do what I ask. And what is that? Jeffrey lent across and whispered to the mafia boss. That we cannot do. Ill give you anything you ask. Weve known each other since freshers week, but this is the first time you came to us for counsel, for help. I cant remember the last time you invited us to your kitchen for a cup of tea. I understand, youd made it to Cambridge: you didnt need friends like us. Now you ask for this. I ask you for justice. How much shall I pay you? JeffreyJeffreyWhatever have we done to make you treat us with such disrespect. If you had come to us in friendship, then the scum who took your strawberry yoghurt would be suffering this very day. Jeffrey knelt and kissed the outstretched hand of the mafia boss. Good accept this justice as our gift.

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