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THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE - TEXTBOOK 3
DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE - TEXTBOOK 3
DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE
Copyright 2012 Love Systems, Inc. All Rights Reserved
Emotional momentum applies here as well. This chapter will build on the previous section of the course by focusing on what to do on the actual date. planning. and mindsets gave you the road map. The chapters on preparing. 3 .DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . now you can start driving. A woman may love you when you get her number or talk on the phone. EMOTIONAL PROGRESSION Although you are in the comfort phase of the Emotional Progression Model during a date. DATES START WITH ATTRACTION You can re-spark attraction on a date in many ways. but the basic form for a date is called “warm and fuzzy” or “intrigue” based attraction. you can’t expect to launch straight into deep conversations. but after a few days apart you’ll have to reignite her attraction.TEXTBOOK 3 CHAPTER 1 – ON THE DATE In this chapter (click each one to go directly to that section): • EMOTIONAL PROGRESSION • CONVERSATION • TOUCHING • KISSING Now you know how to plan and prepare for a date effectively. You can show this by telling a story from your day that has embedded attraction switches or creating a role-play to come back to throughout the date.
storytelling c. Definition: She sees you as an authentic and real person with integrity and a well rounded personality. c. willingness to emote. b.” 4 . Your story should be down-to-earth and real. “Warm and Fuzzy” attraction a. Definition: She is intrigued by talking to you . e.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . The focus is on intriguing her. Drawbacks: Too much of this and you can become boring or one dimensional. The infamous “holes in jeans” routine is a good example of this. Done by: Storytelling about family. but she does want some insight into your life. not the steak. and your experiences. your family. Emphasis on: Social intuition and showing dominance over her world d. IVDs (Interactive Value Demonstrations). Emphasis on: Protector of loved ones. all sappy and romantic one on me. palm reads and often constructed methods of impressing a woman. and vulnerabilities. Drawbacks: Can feel contrived as it relies on cold reads. only sprinkling in bits of attraction as the pepper.you have an uncanny understanding of her and other people around her. etc. This is buying temperature attraction at work.TEXTBOOK 3 Intrigue-based attraction a. and your unique experiences. your childhood. others. friends. It is often not appropriate or practical in many high energy situations. At the same time. don’t underestimate what events can make for a good story. I don’t know if I can handle an awkward kiss on the doorstep at the end of the night. Characteristically: You talk about her. Done by: Cold reading. She doesn’t expect heroics from you. e. Show her that you have interesting things going on in your everyday life. Characteristically: You talk about yourself. b. A sound role-play at the beginning of the date can set up the evening as fun and casual. moving life stories d. A classic role-play for a date is the reverse date role-play: “This is going to be a really fun night but you have to pinky swear that you won’t try to turn it into a Hollywood style. Ease her into the date and save your wilder stories for later in the evening.
You’ll be more friends than strangers. The only time you shouldn’t be too bothered with attraction is when you have previously slept with a woman. Drawbacks: This type of attraction is transferable and can be lost easily if you lose momentum. the comfort phase is over and she likely will have backward rationalized her attraction to you. just don’t overdo it. If you don’t know what you’re looking for. Another fun tease to start off a date is to thank her for taking you on the date. but the role reversal allows you to frame her as chasing you in a playful manner. QUALIFICATION: THE CRUCIAL STEP Qualifying takes the guesswork out of the first date for her. Definition: Her state is increased by being around you. and it even hints that you know better than to wait until the end of the date to kiss her. cocky/funny. You will have planted all of the seeds of a good date in two sentences. It’s essential that you have highlighted what your preferences are before going on dates. c. This role-play conveys that you will be chill on the date (and that you expect the same from her) and you aren’t taking it too seriously. Emphasis on: Humor (particularly push/pull).the focus is on fun. e. b. Done by: Teasing. When she knows your character and intentions she’ll let you escalate faster. Characteristically: You don’t have to talk about yourself at all . in theory. role-plays. You can continue to thank her when you pay for something or show her something cool. you won’t know when you find it. kino escalation and dominance.Re-spark Attraction” in the workbook. Of course. not physical ones. you were the one who asked her out. dominance d. misinterpretation.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . “Unique” should rely on internal qualities.TEXTBOOK 3 Buying Temperature a. Braddock style funny disqualification. etc. pre-selection. she must know that you see her unique qualities and that you find her irresistible based on them. You can also become a dancing monkey or come across as reaction seeking. humor. To do this. 5 . By that point. Complete “Exercise 35 . games.
She is comfortable with her sexuality and expressive with it once she’s comfortable with you. It’s important to keep an open mind when dating. Let’s use the examples above and see what they may look like in the female form. Complete “Exercise 36 .. • • She is very feminine and dresses stylishly and sexy. the later in the date you’ll apply it (certainly after you have reestablished attraction and a degree of comfort). 6 . She is comfortable with her sexuality and expressive with it once she’s comfortable with you. Feel free to add them to your list if they’re important to you. If you’re not screening for it you certainly won’t find it. We also emphasis that this list is for a sexual relationship because a lot of men write down a ton of qualities for long-term relationships with very few of them relating to passion and sex. even traumatic. She enjoys sex and has a deviant side.. sexual experiences. It’s also highly likely that your desires will change with time and experience. These experiences can damage her ability to relax and enjoy sex. 2. How does the quality manifest in a woman? It’s not enough just to highlight what you’re looking for. These are just examples. (An alarming number of women have had terrible. be it abuse or quite simply bad sex. She’s a generous and conscientious lover in the bedroom.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . and without chemistry relationships die.TEXTBOOK 3 Don’t be too rigid here. You can meet some amazing women who can alter your preferences. She responds well to me leading. there is no chemistry. You must be able to identify it in a woman. W ithout that energy. Examples: 1.Qualifying Her” in the workbook. Bear in mind that you will discover or screen for certain qualities at certain times. something you have to consider before a relationship.) 3. and as a general rule the more sexual the screening. 1.
• • • She enjoys my touch when I escalate to romantic touching. Qualification never ends. Passion/Purpose • A woman wants to be brought into a life that’s more interesting than her own. In fact. A woman will not sleep with you unless she feels a genuine sense of connection (comfort). regale her with how your purpose has driven you to become 7 . so you should restart it at the beginning of your date. She demonstrates a knowledge and understanding of how to please her partner and a desire to act on it.Recognizing Qualification” in the workbook. 2. Show her that you are driven to pursue your life goals and do so without any sort of hesitation. 3. Complete “Exercise 37 . For this reason. Below are six of the seven tenets of comfort that you want to use.TEXTBOOK 3 • • She is physical and tactile. She’s a generous and conscientious lover in the bedroom. but a lot of fun for you if you know how to work with her sexuality). She doesn’t flinch when I use medium/large sexual hoops. A man with a passion and purpose always has an interesting life. COMFORT Dating is the act of building comfort in different locations. She is flirty and knows how to use her sexuality to get what she wants (this can be a threat to many guys. These come from Future’s Breakthrough Comfort seminar and they are extremely powerful. Notice how some of these tenets may take multiple dates.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . She gives an awesome hand/shoulder massage. trust. She plays along with my sexual role-plays. • • • She challenges me when I tease her about being the “star fish girl” in the bedroom and qualifies herself out of it. and intimacy. Convey yours. She enjoys sex and has a deviant side. comfort is the longest phase prior to seduction. 1.
If you understand her purpose you can give her the most amazing compliments she has ever heard. This happens because a female whose partner is successful can often provide better for her and her offspring. The “hot” portion (see her as she wants to be seen) generates a great pull toward you. If you can’t define your purpose. This purpose may be as simple as volunteering at a soup kitchen on Sundays to building a multi-million dollar internet empire.) People want to be viewed as how they see themselves in their best light. start looking for it. 8 . See Her the Way She Wants to Be Seen • • Every woman.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE .TEXTBOOK 3 • • pre-selected by women. gain status. There is a reason why she does what she does or doesn’t do what she wants to. 3. (This may take some work. helping you helps her and helps your children. By doing this you create a major sense of connection between you. and command respect from those around you as you help them. She needs to feel that you see her as the person that little girl inside her yearns to be. Having this strength behind her gives her a feeling of security to fall back on. that verve will pass on to your date and create more attraction. She will be riding the rollercoaster that is you. 2. The beauty of this is that as your purpose becomes clearer to her she will begin to envision herself as a part of it. A man who understands a woman’s drive frees her to pursue her dreams. Purpose is the glue that will keep her attracted to you for the long-term. Hot/Cold Behavior • Hot/Cold is a form of push/pull attraction that creates intense feelings. Find out her greatest goal in life. She can take the necessary risks to achieve her goals knowing that you are her rock. Women are biologically predisposed to help a man achieve his goals. She receives positive feelings of attachment and connection with you when pulled in. From an evolutionary prospective. has a purpose that she strives to achieve. If you exude passion for your purpose. A woman likes a man with a plan. like every man. Every man should have at least one major “thing” in life.
“hot” things you told her when seeing her the way she wants to be seen. the more real your connection will become. Future Projections • • These are easy. This is different from future adventure projections. The only way for that to happen is if she can trust you. You must follow up on your word and your plans every time. Know what you will and will not accept for behavior and always do what you say. it bridges the current comfort gap between the two of you. thus. Ex: “.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . These are plans that you are making with her anytime from a week to a year down the road that show her that you are a man of action and she can come along if she wishes. 4. This isn’t hard if you know your morals and if you are willing to walk away when necessary. It only takes one lie to ruin your credibility. Your power as a man in a relationship lies in being a pillar of strength. fictitious ones. so draw your boundaries on anything you can’t commit to. Trust is built on honesty. When cognitive dissonance occurs the brain seeks to solve it. Additionally. not silly. This usually comes in the form of an innocent tease. If she can see the two of you together at a later date. Think about it: if you have your second night together on your “first night” out. 5. when her brain tries to compute what you’ve said it can’t figure out whether you like her or not.. in other words. she chases you harder to get a complete answer. 9 . which are silly and light-hearted. she will be more likely to wave her “rule” of no sex on the first date. Simply make plans or probable plans for the future with her (these are different than FAPs).” By combining the cold with the hot you create cognitive dissonance (pushing and pulling in her brain) or. lying destroys all of the good.TEXTBOOK 3 The “cold” portion is a slight push away and it is to be done playfully. The more realistic these plans are. Make real plans. The simplest way to display emotional honesty is to be honest. too bad you’re such a brat. Emotional Honesty • • This tenet ties into future projections..
Try to contrast your personality and convey your multi-dimensionality. While powerful. 6. and to contrast your personality. tenth. and a bit of a joker with others such as friends or hobbies. and then you need to show her that you can help her at hers. it creates an undeniable feeling of oneness for her. not to mention being a little bit weird. Displaying these tenets will create a sense of trust and connection. That crazy night you spent doing shots and dancing in the club when you met probably won’t be how you spend your third. However. you will have a drama free relationship throughout its duration. the latter can be more difficult for many men. This teamwork works best for shared passions or interests.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . You Are Both Reaching for Success on a Similar Path • This is the lifeblood of building a connection with a woman. She already knows that you are capable of having a rocking. and they are the purpose of the comfort phase. It would be too serious and create an unbalanced account of the real you. In any dating scenario the bulk of your time with a woman will be spent talking about plain subjects and doing ordinary things. fun time on the town.TEXTBOOK 3 If you walk the line on this one. or hundredth date together. such as your passions. Are you able to be chilled out and interesting when you’re at home cooking dinner? Ironically. If you instill the feeling that both of you are on the same path to glory. If you can build a commonality with her. A woman needs these to become intimate with a man. The best way to be a normal guy is not to try too hard by forcing comfort on her. You will want to be serious with some topics. 10 . If nothing else show her how your life experience can help guide her through similar situations. helping each other on the way. hitting this tenet is not always easy. show how your experience with this commonality can make it a more meaningful experience for her. People are dynamic. You need to give her proof that you are an amazing person with a purpose. you can’t expect to talk about each other’s deepest passions for an entire date.
. Likewise.. friends Pets Education Hobbies Travel To display qualities about yourself.. To find out more about her.TEXTBOOK 3 If you are genuine. By using these phrases. you shouldn’t have to think too hard about how to contrast your personality.. Here are some topics that you can talk about: • • • • • • Career Family. you can ask these questions: • • • • • What do you do for fun? What did you want to be when you were growing up? How did you end up being an X? Why did you decide to live X/go to school at Y? Any “What if.” “You know what’s awesome/what sucks.. you’ll probably dance over the topic without thought. By 11 . Essentially. but you also adopt a tone of screening. even if the scenarios are hypothetical... She’s always looking for a more complete picture of who you are in an attempt to understand you better. you’re signaling that you’re sizing her up in the same way that she is sizing you up.. if you are telling a funny story about your best friend.” The “what if. A woman is constantly sizing you up and re-evaluating her perceptions of you. a quality you’ll want to display in comfort. Not only do you find out more about her.Displaying Qualities” in the workbook.” questions are great. If you are serious about your passions.” “What if you were. you’ll probably talk passionately about them. The basic topics you’ll talk about in comfort are from your real life and should fill in the gaps of who you are day-to-day..” Complete “Exercise 38 ..DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE .” questions: “What would you do if. use these phrases: • • “You know what I like/hate. you’ll signal to her radar that you’re about to give a small insight into your tastes...
There is a lot to digest.Too many guys attempt to build a strong 12 . but if they fail the classic. Small chunk this information. If a topic creeps up that could put you at a disadvantage. On a date. so don’t degrade it.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . she will be more willing to build it. That’s a double-edged sword that does you no favors. Comfort is the longest phase and its length varies from woman to woman depending on her blueprint. Nobody knows you better than you do. you don’t have to answer any questions that you don’t want to answer.another aim of comfort who can talk freely and be comfortable with some silences. you can cycle the conversation through multiple threads and run off on tangents. Just as friends do.TEXTBOOK 3 talking about these things you’ll have your bases covered and give her genuine insight about your life. Likewise. she isn’t going anywhere so you can pepper it in.You worked hard at building an attractive first impression on her. As a rule of thumb. you probably shouldn’t talk about them. Pick one or two points you want to hit on during your date and remember that you are talking about your life. If you draw out each subject to exhaustion. Trust and a connection cannot be forced. Your time is limited. your date will seem like a personal investigation. “W ill this help me get laid?” test. change the subject immediately. In a bar you are trying to create the biggest spark in the shortest stroke possible. They may be interesting conversation pieces. bringing up subjects that get you attention in a negative light demonstrates lower value and is needy. If you let comfort develop naturally. Save the intense stuff for later. Don’t demonstrate lower value (DLV) . By the end of your date you should feel as though you are friends . • Forgetting the “cold” from hot/cold . Conversational mistakes in comfort: • • Forcing Comfort .Comfort differs from attraction.
He will ask you a question and you have to explain your qualifications to him. He feels no pressure to impress you.) A caveat: Don’t overdo the cold either. You will have to carry the conversation in the beginning but do it only long enough to get her qualifying herself to you. Adopt a Frame of Qualification. The same probably goes for you and your closest friends. To do this. everywhere you go. if you practice your conversation skills every day. of course. If you think about the strongest relationships in your life. know what attributes you require. A dismissive attitude has more leeway in attraction. talking on a date with a woman who already likes you will be natural. Painful or effortless. and will hire you if you fit the company and if the company fits you. CONVERSATION Face it: you need to be able to hold a conversation on dates. A peppering of coldness or disinterest over behavior/actions you genuinely don’t approve of creates authenticity.TEXTBOOK 3 connection with a woman by agreeing too much. and most of what we do when it comes to emotional progression and verbal flirting comes under the banner of conversation. Managing the conversation on a date is easier than you may think. Here are some things you should write down that you want to know about her: • Current life 13 . If you follow these tips you should always have something fun and interesting to talk about: 1. it should flow at that point. doesn’t say a ton.you are screening if you are a good match. Think about it this way: when you go in for a job interview. 2. (It’s being able to handle the occasional bits of cold that allows you to withstand so much hot. who does most of the talking? The applicant. For example. Where you steer that conversation is what really matters. Borrow this mindset for a date. He can say one sentence and you will respond for minutes explaining how you would handle something in an attempt to win him over.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . they all have some elements of cold to their hot. you may love your brother but you undoubtedly had a few scraps with him growing up. You should enter the date from the qualification frame . Comfort is more about building connections. What Do You Want to Know About Her? Qualifying a woman is much easier if you know what you want to qualify her on.
She will be able to talk about herself because she has an endless stream of info. 4. Write down a note or two for each story before your date and you’ll be set. she should be able to go home after your date and tell her best friend that “[you] are an [X] kind of guy who does [Y and Z].DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . Freezing Up.it’s always on. If you do run out of things to talk about. 5. From her perspective this cool and suave guy she met in the club or on the street blew her away. or activities you do A scary childhood experience Your favorite kind of music/movies/TV shows Talking about your life should be easy. Just remember. and she doesn’t want to screw it up. You have decades of experiences to share and a lot of cool stories to tell. 3. If She Doesn’t Say Much. in the same way that you freeze up in the club talking to a gorgeous woman. Embrace that the two of you can feel comfortable with an occasional 14 . Ideally. Complete “Exercise 39 . classes. What Do You Want Her to Know About You? By letting a woman into your world you give her the key to build comfort and trust. People love to talk about themselves. don’t worry. The date doesn’t feast on words. A date can be a daunting experience for a girl. Always keep in the back of your mind that she already likes you and wants to impress you . and she will love the opportunity to impress you.TEXTBOOK 3 • • Background Future plans By having a few topics cued up you can keep an interesting conversation alive.About Her” in the workbook.” A woman will want to know at least the following: • • • • • • What your purpose or future ambitions are and why What your hometown was like Your family/friends/pets Any clubs. That doesn’t happen to her every day. Lead the conversation onto things from your list and she should do the rest. she probably feels the same way around a debonair man like you.
Sunday is the Sabbath. Women love these men. If you are really panicking for something to talk about. Have Stock Lines. but you can’t tell anybody. Role-plays do this well. You can then introduce her as your girlfriend for the rest of the date. she will say she wants to rank higher. well. That being said. Wife Three satisfies me emotionally. “Okay. Sometimes you can look at her with a so-what-are-you-going-to-tell-me face. how many boyfriends do you have?” Then say: “I have eight girlfriends . Love Systems has evolved beyond the days of only using routines throughout an entire conversation. Do you want to be my ninth girlfriend?” Typically. “So. 6. so I have to relax more. You can take her place. but I like you so I’ll make some room for you. Attractive men make simple things amusing. I know we haven’t known each other for long. They all get together and share recipes so that they can cook my favorite food. here are a few examples: • Wives “I have five wives.. Deal?” She should agree. I’ll make you a deal. and Wife Four. I’ll make you number three. I may even promote you over my Wife Three if you turn out to be cool.. but I have a good feeling about you. which is awesome.. 15 . But. Complete “Exercise 40 . Wife Two cooks. I’m looking for a ninth one.one for every day of the week and two on Sunday.Freezing Up” in the workbook.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . and I want to know.TEXTBOOK 3 silence. Would you be okay if you were Wife Number Four? “Well. look around the room and comment on something in the vicinity.” • Girlfriends You can lead into this routine by asking.. so they always bring value. she used to satisfy me sexually. Wife One pays the bills. interspersing conversation with some routines can ensure that you avoid awkward silences and keep an interesting conversation when needed. Routines and Funny Stories.
if you don’t touch early it will be awkward to touch later. For example. Here are some examples of how to establish touch early: • • Give Her a Hug to Start the Date .” Just like during a nightclub approach. It’s harmless yet close contact. Where you start your touching on a date depends on where you left off the last time you met.100 years ago this was the norm when a man courted a woman. It shows subtle leadership and dominance but it’s also very gentlemanly and fun. touch often. Link Arms Promenade Style . and a guy who doesn’t start touching until he gets into the bedroom will only get to touch himself. high-five. if you had a ten-minute chat with a woman on the street.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . 16 . This can start with hand-holding or a hand on her thigh when sitting. you would probably start your date with social touching such as a touch on her shoulder when you compliment her.a hug to start a date is like a free pass.anything past making-out Often as you progress further up the pyramid you’ll notice that you can hold your touch for longer periods of time. stroking her hair Sexual . kiss on the cheek Romantic . you can start with some romantic touching such as a kiss.TEXTBOOK 3 TOUCHING The Physical Progression Model of the Love Systems Triad shows how touching works in a progression from social to friendly to romantic to sexual. massages. your hands on her hips (when standing and facing her). touching her thigh (when sitting). TOUCH OFTEN “Touch early. If you met her in a club and you made out. TOUCH EARLY.touching her on the shoulder to emphasis a point. and move to cuddling on a couch later on.your arm around her. It’s a social thing to do and works well with a compliment.holding hands. Move into hand-holding for your next touch if she nestles in to you. thumb wrestling Friendly . Examples of Touch Social . hugs.
give her a gentle push and call her a “brat. (“Can you please wear that sexy perfume you had on the other night? That scent really turns me on.) It’s a kid-like thing to do and a fun tease that shows your playful side.”) As you compliment her.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . Use common sense and realize you can usually get more than you think.as you are walking down the sidewalk. When setting up the date.”) When she shows up at your door. 17 . PINGING AND REJECTED TOUCH If your touch (or make-out) gets rejected. don’t force her into the pole. give her a hug. Steer Her into a Pole . don’t sulk or make it a big deal. Smelling her perfume is a congruent reason to hug her. (“Damn. and it allows you to qualify her at the same time for wearing what you asked.” Advanced guys can use this as a release from a compliment as well. go back to some social touching and build some more investment before trying again (but the key is that you try again). Also.TEXTBOOK 3 • Playfully Push Her .if she makes a joke or you purposely misinterpret something she • says. which can cause her some cognitive dissonance. The praise will make her feel appreciated while setting the frame of you leading and being the selector. Scale down your next move and progress forward from there. For example. if you’re touching her leg while escalating and she moves her leg away afterwards. consider that a woman may want to make-out with you. you can compliment her on her choice. but she may not be willing to do it in front of strangers or in a crowded area. you smell gorgeous wearing that perfume. Set Up and Knock Down You can plant an opportunity to touch before she even gets to your door. and not reacting than you do for not trying at all . rejected. You probably used a more intense touch than she expected.no one ever blames the soccer player for shooting at the goal. You get more points for being bold. start edging toward a pole/tree and say. Rejection is not a big deal. tell her what to wear. “Why are you walking into the pole?” (Obviously.
” Then do an almost kiss. (Look at the first attempt as a cue. Fluff.Smell her hair and say “your hair smells so fucking good. Remember the frame: a kiss is NOT a prize that a woman gives you. Otherwise do it a third time. emotional connection. I am trying so hard not to kiss you.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . you can probably try for a kiss. If she says “no” or “not yet.” • You wanna go do a shot? • o “The only condition is that it has to be R-rated style.) If possible. A kiss. you’ve handicapped yourself. etc.” She will kiss you. the more it will plague her mind. “Nothing dramatic. but I really want to kiss you.Grab her and say “Don’t look at me like that again or I’m going to kiss you. Usually she accepts the second (or third) attempt. “Close your eyes.” • • • If tequila. you should kiss her at the second location of your date.” It’s really on. Later. Kissing should be smooth transitions if the physical touching elsewhere has been good.” it’s not a big deal. If not tequila. say “I think I’m ready for another almost kiss. sex. first you do the shot. but I think I’m ready to try an almost kiss as long as you promise not to kiss me. Accelerated evolution phase shift . Here are some great ways to make it happen: • • • • • • Tell her: “You talk too much” . This means that if you have minimal comfort with a woman she probably won’t be ready to kiss you. “you know. At a high point . The longer you leave it after that.” 18 . and then you get rated R. Almost kiss . On the other hand.then kiss her. is not a prize or favor. Try again later.Say. put the lemon in her mouth and let her put it in your mouth. If you’ve spent thirty minutes together and you’re holding hands. It is a natural conclusion. there’s something going on here and I’m totally not ready to kiss you.TEXTBOOK 3 KISSING Your physical progression must align with your emotional and logistical progression. Kiss her then. if you have been together for three hours and you still aren’t in each other’s personal space.” Kiss her. continue with qualification. after the shot When you do an R-rated shot.
You want to be moving forward through the Emotional Progression Model (for the most part in comfort while topping up attraction. Provided you’ve followed the advice we’ve given here. Go closer to her skin on one cheek.You’ll be close and talking with a lot of touching going on.. You also want to be physically escalating (romantic touching and kissing) and logistically escalating (different venues. the Triad Model is a crucial model to understand and apply during your dates. “Your hair smells so fucking good. Smell her hair and say. the next chapter will make sealing the deal a much easier process than most guys are used to.. This chapter provides you with a solid game plan for a successful date. 19 . which can be handled in advance through effective preparation and planning).Spin her and then push back against wall and kiss. qualification and sexualization).TEXTBOOK 3 • • Caveman .” Don’t pull away. then kiss the side of her face and progress onto the bottom of face and simply kiss her.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . As you already know (and as we’ve constantly referred back throughout this book). Physical escalation .
Her body is telling her to sleep with you. On the other hand. See her world through a woman’s eyes.END GAME In this chapter (click each one to go directly to that section): • MENTALITY OF A CLOSER • PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY • MAKE IT NATURAL • LAST MINUTE RESISTANCE (LMR) o Framing o Grounding Routine o Project Future Events o Stop and Build More Comfort • A FINAL THOUGHT MENTALITY OF A CLOSER Going for sex works no differently than making an approach. human view that she loves sex and wants it.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE .” What does that say? If you adopt this view you will think that any advances you made toward her would upset her and create negative consequences. They love sex just like men love sex. Think about the mistaken view that “women don’t like sex. Think of how a woman acts during sex and how much she enjoys it. Women want the latter. It’s all in how you view the situation. she wants to 20 . If you don’t try you won’t succeed. if you believe the natural. you’d be disappointing her by not going for it.TEXTBOOK 3 CHAPTER 2 .
but that’s all it needs to be. Just 21 . a woman may want to sleep you but most times she won’t help you to make it happen.” “My roommate knows that I went on a date with this guy. the excuse may be trivial.. They simply think that things are the way they are. Be effective..DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . but if I have sex with him without putting up a bit of a fight he’ll think I’m a slut and never see me again.” “I don’t really know this guy.” a conflict ensues. “We were just hanging out and things just kind of happened. and relieve her of responsibility. She may be thinking: “I really like this guy.TEXTBOOK 3 be on top of you. Complete “Exercise 41 . and there’s a pelvic urge inside her to do it. It’s better to do it earlier than later because she can mull it over and it won’t seem like the clichéd. he’ll expect it every time we meet up. a woman should be able to tell her friends. What if he turns clingy after sex?” “What if he tells everybody that I slept with him on the first date after meeting at a bar?” “If I have sex on the first date. you have to adopt strong convictions about sex. In other words. For that reason. if I don’t come home to night she’ll think I’m a slut and whisper it to our friends. but her mind tells her differently. it’s an excuse (like “one thing led to another”) that allows her to backwards rationalize sex.” A lot of women don’t question why they have adopted the beliefs they have. Ideally. not fancy. Seed this excuse sometime mid-date.Mentalities” in the workbook. last minute “do you want come up for a coffee?” Logically. W ith her mind saying “hold off” and her body telling her “go for it. You have to create what is called plausible deniability. lead the interaction.” However. PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY Plausible deniability gives a woman a reasonable excuse to relieve herself of responsibility when sleeping with a man.
I bought some goldfish instead. I think it’s time to head home.” Here are some other universal excuses for creating plausible deniability: • • • • • • Photo albums YouTube videos A project you are working on The view from your place Art in your house A pet The more personal you can make the excuse. Come with me and I’ll show you how Sonny and Cher fight. Ryan: “Do you have any pets?” Angela: “No.” Ryan: “Cool.” Ryan: “I know. she can plausibly deny responsibility for going up to your place. One thing just kinda. For example.” By agreeing to come see your fish. but I used to have a dog growing up. you know.” Ryan: “What kind?” Angela: “A Chihuahua. but it’s funny because they’re fighting fish so they get along fine until I feed them. you can talk about her pets (or even lack thereof) and then tell her about your goldfish and invite her to come look at them.” Later in the date. I’ve always wanted to have a dog.. 22 . right? I’ll have to show you sometime.” Ryan: “I have two. R yan could say the following at the last date location. One is named Sonny and the other is named Cher. Complete “Exercise 42 . if you ask a girl if she has any pets.TEXTBOOK 3 throw it in as part of a story or something you’re talking about. but they aren’t allowed in my building.” Angela : “That’s funny. “I just went up to see his fish and the next thing I knew we were making-out.” Angela: “I didn’t know goldfish fought.. the easier it will be for her to come to your place.Plausible Deniability” in the workbook. led to another and it just happened. Ryan: “Well.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE .
By sexualizing the conversation and escalating touch you sub-communicate that you’re a sexual man and that you are comfortable with it. Talk. Framing You can drastically minimize LMR by setting sexual frames early in the date. This frame should put her at ease because she knows you won’t be awkward about it or judge her for it. He uses the date to build a genuine connection and arousal. It’s all part of seduction and it’s enrapturing for a woman when he does this smoothly. Judge how comfortable she feels and start making-out with her. At the most. She knows what’s up. but she has to feel like it just happened. The difference between a sexual man and the typical nice guy is that the woman expects a natural. Combating LMR starts long before you get back to your place. LAST MINUTE RESISTANCE (LMR) Last minute resistance occurs when you haven’t built enough comfort. you need to throw on a movie. The typical game plan is to make-out on the couch. and the prevention is running solid game. Don’t drag the process out too long though. and let seduction happen from there. Grab a glass of wine and find a comfortable place to sit and look at your goldfish or photo albums. It’s also frustrating to take a girl out on a great date and work hard to get her back to your bed only to get denied. When you get into your place. you need to have sexual frames set throughout the date.TEXTBOOK 3 MAKE IT NATURAL Like plausible deniability. This is one of those cases where prevention is better than cure. 23 . Getting to sex is not that complicated at this point. lead her to the bedroom where it is more comfortable. Escalate forward and see how much she’ll accept. and get close. believe that she is in your pad so she wants to sleep with you. sexual guy to try and have sex with her. formal process.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . As previously mentioned. give her a little tour if you didn’t at the beginning of the date. you don’t want to make sleeping with her an explicit. be normal. If you are unsure.
“I never knew what I wanted to do for college. you’ll have a tough time sleeping with her. and I even have season tickets to the [San Francisco] Giants [now]. I was like glued to the TV every morning watching highlights. The show they understand a woman’s sexuality and are probably good lovers. if you only turn things sexual when you try to get her back to your place. I’ve always loved ball. There is really no secret about turning things sexual. I did my post-grad there and was offered a good job right in San Francisco.” A solid grounding routine will tell where you came from and how it has gotten you where you are as opposed to a list of accomplishments. Here are examples of good ones and bad ones: Weak Grounding Routine: “I grew up in Boston. As humans. As an overarching rule on sexual framing.TEXTBOOK 3 The nice guy still works to win her. and this frames him as being a lesser man than she is a woman. but in high school my best buddy Barry took this computer class so I thought we’d roll together. It’s hard to justify sleeping with a guy who can barely muster the courage for a weak make-out on the doorstep at the end of the date. so that’s why I stayed. Men who are good with women are comfortable talking about sex. A grounding routine is a fancy term for “have your life story cued up. it’s natural. Complete “Exercise 43 . but I was a big fan of the Red Sox and used to know every player’s stats. Hooking up with him would mean she is sleeping with somebody not worthy of her. I played baseball growing up but decided to go to Stanford for college. Grounding Routine Another key comfort builder is a grounding routine. I don’t know quite why. I was a total jock until then. Obviously I wasn’t a superstar or anything.” Strong Grounding Routine: “I grew up in Boston and my dad put me in baseball when I was a kid.Framing to Prevent LMR” in the workbook. but computers came a lot more naturally to me than baseball and I developed this program that automatically updated baseball stats for me. After 24 .DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE .
I got to be in California and got to program computers.” If you understand the feeling of chasing a woman only to have her say “let’s just be friends. plus the journey full of positive emotions that he takes the woman on doesn’t hurt either. It’s beyond deflating. Also notice how he displays a passion for his work and how he actively shaped his life to get what he wanted out of it. You have her respect. It doesn’t say much. Project Future Events A lot of women are afraid of getting “fucked and chucked. Everything adds up. “I’ll have to take you sometime . I applied to a few different colleges. when the man says. I’ll have to take you sometime.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE .” you can only begin to compare it to the feeling of sleeping with a guy she likes only to have him never call again. It shows openness and honesty.TEXTBOOK 3 that. and she wants to be with a guy who has control in life and follows through on plans. I was hooked. In the weak example. The cool part is that the company has season tickets and I get to go to games with my dad when he comes out.” he can tack on. Show it to her. ComputerTec hired me and San Francisco felt like home. Boston.” You don’t have to give a definite date or build it up to be something magnificent. A smart and affectionate way of getting around this insecurity is to casually say that you want to see her again (only if you plan on doing so) even before the date is done. Be proud when grounding yourself. In the good grounding routine example above. Complete “Exercise 44 . baseball.” In the strong grounding example. Just give her 25 . computers.Building a Grounding Routine” in the workbook. and when Berkeley accepted me it was a no-brainer. “The cool part is that the company has season tickets and I get to go to games with my dad when he comes out. a woman can understand why the man decided to stay in San Francisco. It’s pretty much my favorite part of living here. so hopefully I get made manager soon so I get access to the corporate box. she can’t feel connected to the man because he spouts a few basic facts. “Once I got my master’s degree. Stanford.
“I understand. Women face enough pressures in the world. 26 . You’re almost certain to sleep with her the next date (or morning). When she objects. The fact that you want sex but don’t need it says a lot about you as a centered man. a woman relieves herself of guilt or of creating the impression that she is too eager. However.just keep it light so you don’t tread into relationship territory sooner than you wish. Another way around LMR is to stop trying to get in her pants. Sometimes just giving her space and slowing things down is all that it takes before reinitiating. Part of not feeling easy is a woman feeling that you value her.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE . Don’t pout! Just be cool about it.TEXTBOOK 3 a hint that you enjoy being with her and would like to continue being with her if she keeps being cool . you won’t make any progress. just say. five dates would make your connection with her that much deeper. but never do something you’ll regret. Would a woman feel easy if she made you go through five dates before having sex or five hours before having sex? Of course. laying back and building more comfort. but they don’t want to feel easy. The night of comfort together can bridge the gap. (Sometimes she’ll feel so aroused she reinitiates you. Women want to have sex. she will gather her thoughts and contemplate what she is doing. After a few minutes of talking things out. By putting up some token resistance. and a clear mind can be all she needs to have sex at sunrise. Make sure you’re alleviating them. she’ll be more comfortable with the notion that she will be having sex with somebody new. don’t worry. or to put it more accurately. you shouldn’t be completely deterred and give up. not creating them.” and start talking about some other topic. It communicates that she is not being forced into anything. don’t submit to your own fear or insecurity. there are ways around waiting five dates. Of course. If she is still not ready after you reinitiate a couple of times.) If you keep pushing and pushing an uncertain woman. Stop and Build More Comfort When you’re lying in bed and a woman says no.
It’s natural. The Don takes a lot of balls. If she sees that you’re no longer interested in having sex because you’ve satisfied yourself. doesn’t work 100 percent of the time. “When in doubt. she will be cool with it.DATE! THE COMPLETE HOME STUDY COURSE .” Many women find it arousing to see a man getting hot over her. it’s almost a guarantee for a close. Tell her that she makes you “too horny” or that you don’t want blue balls.TEXTBOOK 3 “The Don” What kind of book would this be if we didn’t slip a Jedi trick in it? Sometimes when you get LMR. Usually she’ll ask you what you’re doing. Remember. you can start touching her. whip it out. If you’re with a woman in bed and can’t get her pants off. while she is still horny. so handle logistics. all it takes is a little extra something to put you over the top. humans have been pairing up for millions of years. It’s like an unwritten agreement that it’s okay. However. but when it works. or if you’re more advanced and feel like you need to read over the final chapters again. and often she will want to be in on the action. “The Don” fits that mold well. which isn’t a big deal. Some women will start giving you a blowjob. simply take off yours. and you can state the obvious. 27 . some women won’t do a whole lot and you’ll end up getting yourself off. you can probably use this move. whip it out and go to town on yourself. If you’re cool with it. It certainly beats porn. A FINAL THOUGHT This book provides a widespread roadmap and game plan for enjoying a successful date. which is also okay. it sometimes puts her into sexual overdrive! This move. If she starts touching you. like everything. stimulate her emotions. As long as her shirt is off. Use it as a resource you can always come back to whether you need a refresher on the basics of planning and ideas for dates. it works well. and let the magic happen organically. but it builds a load of sexual comfort between you and her. It’s just sex and you know how to do it. The next time you are together.
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