campling's aspects of the work psyche

matthew campling - illuminating ideas about how we relate and respond to work in the modern age
Matthew Campling's case studies and theories about how we relate to the modern world of work provide some helpful ideas for dealing with a few of life's challenges. The contribution of these ideas and articles is gratefully acknowledged.

Campling's Age/Work Arc Theory positive !epression at Work

life change can be controlled and

what is the depression telling you".. and anywhere else for that anticipating and avoiding

#nderstanding and Controlling Anger at Work matter.. !eveloping your Active $esponse Mechanism risks and problems !ealing with Workplace %go

for self and others for self and others

Adapting to and Addressing Workplace Culture

campling's age/work arc theory (CAWA)
career cycles - anticipating, welcoming and making the most of life-change stages and opportunities
&ife for us all changes faster than it ever did. The notion that any 'ob could be for life disappeared decades ago. (ow we ask how long a career can last certainly not for a lifetime's work. )n fact now we need to face the likelihood that not even a particular skill set or specialism can be for life.

for personal growth+ diversification and fulfilment re.Added to which happily for most of us life 'ust keeps on getting longer and longer.if we can recognise them and grab them.uire for many people a new way of looking at things. Matthew Campling's contemporary Age/Work Arc theory provides a wonderful and helpful perspective on life change+ and the contribution of this theory is gratefully acknowledged. Change is positi e when we manage it oursel es. *o if we are to make the most of our time on this %arth we need to think about our how and why or working lives change+ to anticipate+ and to stay one 'ump ahead. 0e began with the benefit of hindsight/ charting a graph of the careers of the people he knew he noticed a rough Arc in the overall picture. #nderstanding and embracing the inevitable stages of life change+ and the great opportunities that come our way . 0ow is it that 'the right 'ob' commonly becomes the peak of one's working life and after that it's downhill" Matthew Campling+ a psychotherapist and writer currently working in &ondon+ looked at the lives of a number of people he had encountered over the years and formulated the mechanics and properties of the Age/Work Arc. !oing this can be difficult+ sure+ but change is generally positive when we realise what is happening and why+ and when we have the confidence to decide our own choices and direction.uestions/ • • • • Why did some people attain a prominent position+ and keep it+ while others had good years and bad" Are there rules to the way we should look at our career and those of others" Can we avoid career breakdown by drawing from a wider vision of our potential capability" Why was it that some people seemed in control of their working lives+ and others 'ust 'umped from bad fit to bad" . 0e asked some more . campling's age/work arc Campling asks these .uestions to set the scene/ • • • • 0ow do you ensure that your own career isn't derailed or sidelined" 0ow do you distinguish within yourself a genuine 'breakout' talent from a one hit wonder" 0ow can you plan for career black spots+ given that being made redundant at 12 is very different from redundancy at 31.

"$ at end)% 4ames worked at a sports centre. 0e could coast only so long+ thus at the time when he would have been e5pected to mature into a responsible C%9+ his weaknesses were e5posed. 0ad he been aware of the Arc he would have realised the upward tra'ectory would not continue without serious+ conscious effort made by him. &oward ('( at start. %mployees younger than he were getting the promotions and suddenly the prospect of the same 'ob+ the same one bedroom flat seemed like a prison. 0e could then have sought to avoid the risk of such a pinnacle+ staying instead where he was comfortable. Within three years she was able to buy a larger property and within si5 years she was headhunted to a financial services company. ') at end)% 0oward had had a public school education+ and a combination of school connections and an ambitious wife had pushed him up the corporate ladder. *i5 years later+ however+ 4ames was beginning to recognise that he had somehow missed the boat. 0er love life didn't improve but she had the compensation of being respected and well paid. 0e en'oyed the social elements of the sports centre and a succession of women drifted easily into and out of his life.uaintance's work histories . 6ut the underlying point is that+ rather than seeing our work lives as something totally under our control+ or moving from 'ob to 'ob with no greater plan+ we should be aware of the Arc and become aware of where we are on it. Campling's Age/Work Arc suggests that for a certain number of years our Arc is in the upward tra'ectory+ then we reach a 8enith point+ and then we fall downwards.The importance of recognising the Arc became clear when he considered some of his ac. &osing his confidence he accepted a number of time limited consultancies.names have been changed-. 9bviously this is a simplification since many people will have ups and downs rather than a single Arc. ") at end)% Amanda made big sacrifices in her chosen role as a singer+ taking lowly paid 'obs so she would always be available for 'the break'. As his 12s approached he was making the best of his limited options+ in a 'ob which e5ploited his organisational skills while returning little by way of financial reward or status. After an unhappy love affair she turned to the world of accountancy. Amanda ("* at start. &oward had come to e5pect a smooth upward ride. would need alterations and additions if it would still satisfy him further down the line. 0is parents had lent him enough money for a one bedroom flat. To e5amine the e5amples above in terms of the Age/Work Arc/ • • !ames failed to see how the good life at :. • • • !ames ("# at start. <nowing the Arc+ he would have had a more realistic view of how much his work success had prior to that point depended on factors other than himself. . 6ut at 71+ having talked his way into 'the 'ob of a lifetime' he fudged it.

#nfortunately in her previous life as a singer she had re'ected a number of men because they wouldn't suit her image. :. ?romising 4unior Middle Manager *enior Manager Managing !irector C%9 *emi $etired Consultant &ecture Circuit . =. 0owever+ having 'ob security did compensate for other aspects of her life that weren't as satisfactory.• Amanda avoided the downside of her Arc by changing professions. :..ma'or company/ print/press/radioCreative !irector . 7. >. Although she didn't become the star she wanted to be+ she came to realise how much more control she had over her life working in financial services. 1. )f you are comfortable in your 'ob+ if you en'oy bonding sessions with your fellow workers+ if you can picture your life drifting on for many years in a pleasant manner beware.small companyCreative !irector . %5panding on the notion of the Arc+ Campling devised a '= Ages of Work' number of work stages for different careers/ campling's se en ages of work stages e+amples Ad ertising Copywriter . >. 1.anager .. 9nce she became an accountant she remembered these men and saw how they would have fitted into her new role+ but by then it was too late.ma'or company/industry and specialistMature Copywriter . #npaid Work %5perience 4unior Copywriter *enior Copywriter Creative !irector . =. 3. 3. 7. $ather than these days being your happiest+ in terms of Campling's Age/Work Arc you may already be e5periencing your 8enith+ and one day you will realise that you've sidelined+ and rather than contentment you will e5perience the panic of knowing your best days are irrevocably behind you.

1. 9ur -eacher e5ample took a while to work out e5actly where they wanted to work. 0e or she has a less glamorous 'ob than the Copywriter+ but compromises by emphasising the family. >. Teacher's Assistant ?rimary *chool Teacher *econdary *chool ?ublic *chool 0ead of @ear 0eadmaster/mistress *chool 6oard . )mpresses with his or her raw talent.anager works up through the ranks. %asily swings into the professional advertising world and rises through the ranks. >.turned Artist .book companyCounsellor 0ead of Counselling *ervice ?ainting 0olidays %5hibited ?ainter (ote the differences in the severity of the downturn of the Arc.-eacher . =. Although increasing work demands does put pressure on the home front+ by continually clarifying the situation in two year visions the marriage survives. • • • 9ur imaginary Copywriter begins well. These are partly due to the specifics of the industry+ and partly due to the efforts made by the individuals. They take a less prestigious 'ob but even that doesn't work out and eventually+ using their name and history rather than their current performance+ they grab hold of a hack 'ob. Then+ after having spent too many nights at work+ they hit difficulties when their marriage breaks up. 3. :. Trying to use work as a substitute in all the wrong ways+ they get a reputation for having burned out. :.usiness-person .. 1. As the Manager matures+ first in a C%9 position and later+ when the pressure gets too much+ segueing into a well paid consultancy. 7. 3. !riven salesperson Managing !irector . 7. 9ur .. . 6eginning with younger children became stultifying+ eventually they became 0ead of the public school of their dreams+ finally retiring but retaining a grip on the school by remaining on the 6oard.paint companyManaging !irector . Takes a bit of a career risk by leaving a larger company to be a C! at a smaller enterprise+ but this pays off when he or she moves to a larger outfit as C!. =.

After a stormy few years a happy ending is reached when+ after a visit by the owner of a &ondon gallery+ their talent is recognised and a number of professional e5hibitions follows. 0e or she begins by putting great effort into getting places.• 9ur . After the bloom of youth faded+ his lifetime's passionate interest in anti. ?art of the point of the Arc is it needn't always be a bad downhill slide. &a ing options is the most helpful route to o ercoming the downside of the Arc/ Consider these other e5amples/ !anet% *uccessful businesswoman. Aortunately their partner+ also tiring of the hard life+ persuades them to risk everything on buying and doing up a delightful country wreck and offering painting holidays. 6ut then things go spectacularly wrong and they have a breakdown. 0aving a keen interest in amateur painting+ they believe being M! of a paint supply company brings together both loves.due to the downturn in her particular specialism. 1on% An actor. *adly+ there are many people with the same idea and they discover they cannot make a living as a therapist. What all these people have in common is more than one string to their bow. When her father died she became a trustee for a ma'or cancer charity. The reality for many smart people is that they make provision throughout their lives+ so when the unavoidable issues of the ne5t generation and a waning ability to work like they used to makes a change necessary+ they have options. When . At the same time he was a ?rison's Bolunteer. Coming out of the breakdown+ they realise that Counselling is a wonderful thing and retrain as a therapist.ues shop.usiness-person/Artist had more than one career+ something which is fast becoming the norm.ues paid off when he first worked for another dealer and then opened his own anti. Campling says/ . When he was made redundant he moved full time into ?risons work.'ob options in the City dried up+ she was able to use her voluntary e5perience to move into a highly paid 'ob in the Caring sector 0aul% After a number of positions+ ?aul took an MA in counselling and became manager of a counselling organisation.

Although ultimately there will be one 8enith+ by changing focus and diversifying we can begin a new sub Arc.*ince we are not killing time+ time is killing us+ and we will do better if even our downtime activities have some point. . Whether you 'work to live' or 'live to work'+ bearing in mind the Arc's salient points will sharpen your 'udgement+ sound an alarm bell if needed+ and suggest ways of overcoming the natural age downturn.C..uaintance of mine when thorough knowledge of the horses meant he is now running a profitable internet betting advice service. And consistent with managing any sort of change+ awareness is crucial/ it will always help is to become aware of the Arc+ and where you are on it. Although it may seem sad that everything needs to pay us back in some way+ the reality is there are many+ many people all chasing their dream/ utilising the energy of our outside interests is a way of making our hobbies pay.C The Age/Work Arc is a simple concept with great potential for re evaluating and reshaping our attitude to our work. To summarise the basic points/ 6y observing others' Arcs we become aware that we must have one as well. The first half of our working lives the Arc works in our favour+ the second half against us . &ook for activities that have connections with the rest of your life. The Arc has an upward tra'ectory+ a 8enith and a downward tra'ectory.to accommodate the ne5t generation+ whose Arcs are upward-. depression at work What is depression" When it occurs in the workplace+ how can it be best understood+ and then dealt with in a constructive manner" Campling has used his personal observations of client e5periences+ to come to a different conclusion to that followed by current medical and psycho therapeutic approaches. Doing to the races may pay off as it did for one ac. 6y not concentrating too much on a single focus+ by keeping other options open+ we have more control and can 'ump careers which will begin a new upward tra'ectory.

When your internal space fills up with these dark brown clouds+ you feel depressed. Aor e5ample+ one client came to Campling saying that their work together was likely to last a long time he had been depressed for a long time+ and had not been successful with other therapists. 6ut for many reasons for instance not having the time to focus+ or simply not wanting to feel the emotion the organic impulse/response cycle does not take place. Another client's depression+ once e5posed to Campling's theory+ also turned out to having come from the opposite of a physiological reason/ the client was not acknowledging the fear that his high profile 'ob caused him.as had been attempted by his previous coach). 6ut he had been unable to leave &ondon because his parents were very happy with him in &ondon+ so he was staying in a cold climate to please them.$ather than regarding depression as an illness+ or something that needs treating with chemicals+ Campling asks Cwhat is the depression trying to tell meC. At the second meeting+ the client who had been so sure therapy would take a long time announced that he had told his parents he was leaving &ondon and they had been 'ust happy to see him being cheerful. Therefore the correct way to get rid of depression in fact to move the emotion on is to acknowledge what the depression is covering up. 9bviously not all cases of depression are this simple to move on. Continuing to imagine the invisible space+ imagine that a certain area in this space is set aside for that emotional reaction to be e5perienced. What was a special breakthrough for this client was to acknowledge his limitations+ and the client allowing himself to have insecurities+ rather than to attempt to bypass these by merely throwing more improving suggestions at him . )nstead he wanted to live in a hot country+ like the Middle %ast. . Campling e5plained his own understanding of depression. When this does not happen+ rather than e5periencing the emotion and then moving on+ what Campling describes as a dark brown cloud fills in for that missing response. The client in that very first consultation acknowledged that he did not want to live in &ondon. )n this case Campling worked with the client to reframe his overly responsible+ and ultimately self defeating mindset. 0e observed that what seemed to be occurring in depression was that certain difficult situations+ and the e5pression of emotions+ gets interfered with in everyday life+ particularly within the pressurised atmosphere of an office or work environment. This consultation took place in &ondon. Campling suggests that inside each of us is an invisible space+ a psychic space+ and it is in this space that our reactions to events anger+ fear+ worry+ bewilderment+ being overwhelmed should be e5perienced. 6ut there is a great deal that the individual can do for him or herself by reframing their attitude to depression+ and rather than dreading it+ coming to understand what it's trying to do for them.

Aor e5ample+ Campling observed how+ in the proper and constructive use of anger+ we are alerted to a potential threat/ a co worker . 6ut that is only one aspect of anger in the workplace.understanding and controlling anger at work )t is usually regarded that being angry in the workplace is a bad thing. Most of us will have e5perienced the unpleasantness of working with an angry co worker or employer. 6y getting angry not only did the client have e5tra energy for focusing on the various demands of his 'ob+ but he also threw up a wall which gave him his own space+ more space than the crowded office generally allotted. *ometimes not being able to e5press this emotion can be the onset of depression . 0e discovered that the client had grown up in an angry household the father felt trapped+ the mother felt betrayed.see elsewhere in these notes. $ather than e5periencing the anger as natural+ something over which he had no power+ the client came to a more ob'ective view of his own anger+ and therefore he gained more control over its e5pression or suppression. 2ne of the most important functions of anger is to alert us to danger/ 9ne of the most negative aspects of the emotion is how ego then gets involved. (aturally this led to his co workers being e5tra careful not to say or do anything that would bring this anger on+ but overall it affected the worker's day to day e5perience of the office because he also felt affected in a negative way by his own anger. Working with the client+ Campling discovered that the client was using the instant hit of anger to overcome feelings of e5haustion and inade. As with most situations+ merely understanding more of the mechanism in place was helpful to the client. Campling worked with a client who got angry virtually on a daily basis.but Matthew Campling has come to believe that even if depression does not set in+ not acknowledging the information that comes to us through anger is+ as is often the case+ going against part of our psychic defence system. The downside was the headaches he got after the anger+ and the growing sense that his fellow workers were barely tolerating him.uacy. *o for this client+ although he had not realised it+ having anger around on a daily basis was perfectly natural and acceptable and yet he knew that was no longer the case. With this particular client+ Campling went back to the formatory years.

.. )n the second to realise that the ego has taken o er + and that the ego has little relationship to the logical brain... Aor a few seconds anger is working in its proper way+ alerting to danger. Then the ego takes over+ the different voices we all carry around in our head all start to have their say/ C)t's not fair+ ) work so hard and no one ever stands up for me. When that happens+ the perspective and the purpose of anger are lost. @ou will find more about Campling's view on the use and abuse of ego elsewhere in these notes+ but here consider only what happens in anger.. )t serves its purpose+ which is to wake us up to the potential danger. *o then the psyche+ trying to cope with this attack on its well being+ retaliates by keeping angry. *ee also the section on Transational Analysis to understand more about how our brains deal with situations that make us angry.trying to poach our clients+ a co worker who through insinuation takes un earned credit+ a manager who uses anger as a way of deflecting criticism." )t's fairly easy to spot in those three e5amples that the principal emotion is self pity and it's invariably useless and negative.if some else steals my credit-. All that remains is the e5pression of the negative emotion.C C) don't know why ) bother with this company no one appreciates me. Anger can be helpful for only the first few seconds. And the longer the 'negative emotion' of anger is e5pressed+ driven not by rationality but by the ego and by trying to avoid feeling self pity or some other emotion+ the less and less will the person be in control of their anger. Then the ego takes over. Therefore+ where a worker or employer finds that they are getting angry and staying angry in a negative way+ using the two stage response helps ground high flying anger to a point where its constructive few seconds can be used to bring about a positive solution. Take the e5ample of a worker who discovers a co worker is seeking to take un earned credit.. . Campling decided that the solution+ generally+ is to have a two stage response to anger/ )n the first stage+ to be grateful to anger's alerting property .C C0e/she is much more popular and ) won't be validated .

)n this case+ in Campling's e5ample+ he learned that talking+ even casually+ about work to someone who might be in a similar field was not a good ideaE The e5ample provided an opportunity to develop and e5tend the usefulness of the internal Active $esponse Mechanism/ 6ut how to take this one e5ample and grow it so that not 'ust similar but also dissimilar situations would set off the internal Active $esponse Mechanism" .CA$M.emerged from some element of his own personal e5perience. 0e looked for other e5amples among his work colleagues. A few weeks later Campling discovered that the ac. 9ne woman+ he realised+ seemed to have an active response mechanism fi5ed permanently on overdrive/ she saw enemies and subterfuge everywhere.uaintance had gone behind his back and approached the gym director+ offering his own services. Campling was upset by the underhand method+ and irritated at himself if he hadn't had mentioned the work+ the other wouldn't have been able to take advantage. Arom this grew the notion that we all need an Active $esponse Mechanism which somehow will wake us up to danger at times and in circumstances where we are not already prepared. The conundrum+ therefore+ was how do you best protect yourself from possible threats whilst at the same time remaining open and rela+ed with the rest of humanity3 9ne of the ways in which we learn is+ obviously+ by bitter e5perience. )n common with many of the therapeutic tools and observations Campling has identified+ Campling's theory of the Active $esponse Mechanism .de eloping your acti e response mechanism )n simple terms+ in this conte5t an 'Active $esponse Mechanism' is an automatic reaction within oneself which serves as a sort of early warning system so as to anticipate and prevent risks or problems arising. *pecifically+ he once had an encounter with someone he knew on a casual basis+ during which Campling mentioned that he was doing development work at the gym where he and the ac.uaintance had first met. Campling realised that living with one eye permanently on danger was also not desirable/ it was the kind of behaviour one observed in refugees or people who had undergone some severe trauma they had not yet put into perspective and integrated into more ordinary daily life.

The Active $esponse Mechanism is not easy to develop but it's entirely possible with a little thought. @et its clear that we each need an internal early warning system+ which alerts us even in mid sentence to possible danger. The upside is that when one works for a company like this+ one is already more actively covering oneself+ already aware of potential danger. • When this happens+ step back mentally and look at what's going on/ are we saying too much and is it only to the other person's good" . We might otherwise say 'the price of safety is eternal awareness' . )t is said 'The price of freedom is eternal vigilance'. When we are fully engaged in work activities we need to trust that those around us are not in their own way actively seeking to gain advantage over us.Campling e5amined the sort of situations where one might be unaware of a possible downside outcome and realised that rather than focusing on any particular approach+ the key word was 'awareness'. )t's difficult to generalise about what we each need+ since this depends on our own specific circumstances. *adly there are many companies where the dominant work culture is e5actly that/ competitiveness and cut throat politics is endorsed rather than frowned on. )t is by having this insight that we begin to grow the concept of an Active $esponse Mechanism. *ome characteristics to bear in mind are/ • • • • • • Would this person be talking to me if there wasn't a work perspective" *o if that's the case+ whom may gain from it/ both of us+ me+ or him/her" )f it's him/her+ what might ) say that would be of more help to him/her than to me" Am ) trying too hard to impress this person+ or to deflect their criticism+ and by doing so am ) making myself vulnerable" 0ow will ) feel about this conversation once the person has gone will ) have an uncomfortable feeling that ) said too much" 0ow soon can ) bring the conversation to a close" Also+ remember the emotional response. )t is+ interestingly+ in companies where most people are honest and have scruples that we need our own active response mechanism because the others will lull us into a sense of false security whilst the ruthless few seek to gain their single minded advantage. We often try to ignore our emotions because they demand attention when we are doing something else+ but there's no better early warning signal then the emotional sense that something is wrong.

)f we find others have taken advantage of us+ instead of closing up defensively+ seek to grow. 4othing can happen to you that is not positi e/ %ven though it looks and feels at the moment like a negative crisis+ it is not. Whatever your fate is+ whatever the hell happens+ you say+ 'This is what ) need.attributed to Ariedrich (ietFsche+ Derman philosopher+ .C . !ifficult painful e5periences are the lessons by which we develop.G27 H=+ American writer+ anthropologist and philosopherand CWhat does not kill us makes us stronger. )nstantly the type is pegged/ someone who thinks only of themselves+ is .' )t may look like a wreck+ but go at it as though it were an opportunity+ a challenge. Then+ when looking back at your life+ you will see that the moments which seemed to be great failures followed by wreckage were the incidents that shaped the life you have now.4oseph Campbell .uotes echo this sentiment/ C(ietFsche was the one who did the 'ob for me.H77 .• What are they thinking about+ listening to me" !o they have another agenda" Ainally+ remember that these encounters are all helpful for us to understand ourselves and others better. The crisis throws you back+ and when you are re. Any disaster that you can survive is an improvement in your character+ your stature+ and your life.G22+ based on his words/ C9ut of life's school of war/ What does not destroy me+ makes me stronger.C from The Twilight of the )dols+ . A couple of inspirational . @ou'll see that this is really true.HGG. At a certain moment in his life+ the idea came to him of what he called 'the love of your fate'. )f you bring love to that moment not discouragement you will find the strength is there.C . What a privilegeE This is when the spontaneity of your own nature will have a chance to flow. )f we see them as such then we become stronger than those who would take advantage of us.uired to e5hibit strength+ it comes.- dealing with workplace ego Always an easy workplace put down is 'he/she has such a big ego'. #se difficult situations as material for growth.

The %go was the term given by Areud to that aspect of ourselves characterised by a rampaging+ all consuming selfishness. They become ever more desperate in their attempts to control each and every aspect of their outer and inner world. 6ut the full picture might be that they know how important the situation is to the whole of the business+ or they may feel that everyone hates them because of how they behaved last week+ or they may feel themselves to be a total fraud.not a good team player+ is difficult to work with+ is always blowing their own trumpet.uipped for+ we call on our ego to do the 'ob. . )t seems that what we call The %go is not only a bore for other people+ it's also a grind for ourselves. 9ften the origins of that ego are to do with identification .will reveal a very different picture.see Managing (egative Aspects of (ecessary Aunctions+ elsewhere here.two of Carl $ogers three 'core conditions' for therapeutic growth. Areud said that the *uperego also e5isted+ to control the uncontrollable.but to give more help in working with workplace egos+ Matthew Campling looked into the ego itself.which would bring ego deathEAlternatively+ the individual one believes to be completely egotistical may have an enormous+ but misplaced+ sense of responsibility.uacy+ and live in constant fear that someday they will be caught out and e5posed . And for all these reasons+ the ego is the part of themselves they've 'sent in to bat'.uently people who+ for e5ample by their upbringing+ . )t could be any or all of the above/ fre. Where individuals at the office don't seem to have much *uperego support we may find ourselves bearing the brunt of their loud+ even primitive personalities.uickly land a 'ob in authority have enormous feelings of inade. *o the person who may sweep bullishly into the boardroom+ bark out a long list of instructions+ then glare defiantly at the other parties present is seen as being egotistical. The way it works is when we have a difficult task+ one we may feel either technically or psychically ill e. &ike the person who has over identified with work practices+ the egotistical worker may in some way genuinely believe that if they don't keep bashing away all the time the whole enterprise will be doomed. Therefore rather than hating or resenting someone for being egotistical+ a better way to work with or respond to the individual would be to try to understand what the ego is covering up. When people are near a breakdown of some sort+ often they speed up rather than slow down. @et what Campling is interested in is the way in which virtually every person+ given enough time to calm down+ and given enough therapeutic support in the form of unconditional positive regard and empathy .

. 9nly then can what is going on inside them begin to e5pose itself and here it is obviously better to act sooner rather than later+ when the damage may be greater. )n common with the rest of our emotions+ denial doesn't work/ instead by acknowledging our ego it will then . &ikewise+ when you are on the receiving end of ego first count to ten then try to reframe the outburst and work out what it's really about/ is it insecurity+ fear+ a sense of panic+ a concern they will be unmasked and defenceless" . Then we forget about it+ which can cause a resentment in the ego+ which in turn leads the ego to behave badly as a way of e5pressing itself+ though+ sadly+ negatively. Tell yourself out loud+ CWell done+ that was hard+C or if others are within earshot+ say it mentally.*ometimes they need to have their mobiles taken away from them+ to unplug their landlines+ and to be banned from using the internet.And for yourself+ if you find yourself e5cusing behaviour with C*orry+ )'ve got a big ego+C don't stop there. When Campling worked with couples at war with each other+ a lot of the early work was to reframe the angry and bitter barbs they would hurl at each other.uences not 'ust of too much alcohol+ but not having a good relationship with their ego.ue for self control and development. Campling observes that the young city types who travel on the tube and have to get out at an earlier station to discreetly throw up are suffering the conse.uieten down+ and be a help rather than a hindrance. Therefore+ after a speech or a board meeting+ speaking to your line manager or asking for a bonus acknowledge your ego. Whenever the going gets hard it's the ego we push into the front line+ to take the brunt of the bad news. ?ositive self talk is a powerful techni.The notes on Transactional Analysis can be helpful in reframing behaviour understanding what is causing it+ in ourselves and others+ so as to be able to respond to it unemotionally+ in a more controlled manner. Ainally+ don't forget to be nice to your ego. 6e honest and e5amine what the ego is doing for you.uite a different light. They are using drinking to deal with pressure+ and the body sometimes kicks back. 6ut even when people don't reach that sort of crisis point+ it's always worthwhile+ if you are suffering the effects of someone's ego+ to regard them in . 6ut say it+ and allow your ego its moment of glory.

*ince his problem was mainly to do with women he worked with+ concentrating on a new set of attitudes meant that the stockbroker was free within himself to have another look at relationships with women generally. This took place over a number of weeks+ but within the stockbroker's three month probation period he had made sufficient progress+ along with his e5cellent technical skills+ to warrant the company making his appointment permanent.uipped him for the very different demands of working in &ondon.a. This started Campling thinking generally about workplace culture. *o firstly the task was a crash course in the difference/ principally that whereas back in his native country+ the stockbroker had liked the very rigid divisions between male and female+ his basically chauvinistic attitudes were getting him into trouble in the more e. 0e was having trouble finding and keeping a girlfriend 'because women in %ngland don't like to be told what to do'.adapting to and addressing workplace culture Matthew Campling began thinking about the peculiarities of individual workplace cultures through working with a young %astern %uropean stockbroker.a. Campling pointed out that by focusing on his work issues with women and finding a solution+ he would also be better informed in his relations with women in his private life. and research assistant would and would not do.ual work environment of the City. What was immediately apparent in the new 'ob was the very different culture. 0is line manager told the stockbroker about the company's 'flat structure' but it was still a shock to discover that the women on the same level or lower than the stockbroker weren't ready to do his chores. Aortunately he willingly took on board the challenge+ since as Campling pointed out+ he was well thought of technically and professionally+ it was only in the sphere of inter personal relations that he needed to grow. )t would be good to believe that an individual workplace culture has come about for all the best reasons+ and that everyone involved understands these . 6etter not to try to disguise the basic attitudes+ rather to put them on one side+ and develop a new+ organic set of attitudes necessary in the stockbroker's new work environment. Campling avoided trying to surround the stockbroker's entrenched attitudes with a thin layer of 'liberal values' because to do so would cause inner confusion. This meant that in order not to rock the culture boat+ the stockbroker also had to grow a new set of attitudes for working with p. Working together+ Campling and the stockbroker defined what it was the p.'s and research assistants. The client was aware that his upbringing had not e.

Campling once encountered a p. 0e sees private and corporate clients. whose proud boast was that other staff+ C. The truth+ however+ is that it's often precisely because this culture has come about unconsciously that the culture fails to function well+ and worse+ becomes dysfunctional. Aor ten years he was an advice writer .and e5presses this in temperament. Aor more materials and theories relating to improving self awareness and managing personal change and growth see also/ 4ohn Aisher's ?ersonal Change Theory $udyard <ipling's ')f' ..uk.to identify the culture related problem and address the cause at the source.to a number of publications and has appeared on daytime TB as an e5pert in emotional and e5istential issues..co. A worker who is insecure . matthew campling Matthew Campling is a psychotherapist+ writer and life coach working in central &ondon. Matthew Campling's contribution of these ideas and materials is gratefully acknowledged.see the active response mechanism article above. 0e can be contacted at macamffllItiscali. And that's why a work culture can become seriously deficient unless someone summons the energy to tackle it.is clearly under used/ sometimes it's a vicious cycle because the more temperamental the individual is+ the more people tend not to give them work+ giving them more time to cause chaosE What's needed here is focused energy.reasons and works with them. This can often be traced to a single person+ in either an e5ecutive or+ harder to credit but even more prevalent+ a non e5ecutive position who has in some way stuck+ and from their position affects the potentially harmonious work structure. Therefore+ to ensure that the work culture continues to work smoothly+ it's not so much a desperate half day team building e5ercise that's needed+ it's a few minutes every day coupled with an active response mechanism .even up to partner level+ are scared of meEC 0ow this sort of situation persists relates to energy/ Most workers are used to devoting their entire daily allotment of energy to the work ahead.agony uncle.a.

?ersonality Types and Theories 0oward Dardner's Multiple )ntelligences Theory Assertiveness and *elf Confidence !esiderata *elf 6elief !evelopment (euro &inguistic ?rogramming Cybernetics 0ow to Control your !estiny Transactional Analysis Maslow 0ierarchy of (eeds Adams' %. .uity Theory of Motivation &ife Coaching Creating great CB's 4ob )nterviews Tips and Juestions and Answers and the various related models+ theories and materials on the main businessballs website+ if you are not already there.