The Five Choices for Handling Workplace Bullying

Not all conflicts can be resolved. However, would you like to know some tips to resolve more conflicts involving bullying in the workplace? 1. Avoidance a) A refusal to engage b) ost prevalent

!"ample# A very obvious verbal attack occurs, and the target, due to fear, simply walks away. $hile this obviously is not a good way of dealing with bullying in the workplace the ma%ority of the time as it tends not to help, it is worth being considered as a strategy for when the conflict is %ust not worth the effort of being addressed. &. Accommodation 'aking the conflict and submitting. !"ample# (istening to unhelpful criticism and believing it. )ery fre*uently used especially where there is low confidence and self+esteem. 'his is another not very successful method of dealing with bullying at work, but it will do if you know that there is a solution coming soon. ,. Compete -ou push hard to get your own way in the conflict, without regard for the other.s needs. !"ample# -ou are very upset with someone, and when they try to e"plain their situation, you cut them off and over+e"plain your point in order to gain control. 'his can be very useful when the conflict is mild and you are passionate about your stance, but can lead to a vicious circle as the conflict escalates. /. Compromise 'his is more win+win, and re*uires the goodwill of both parties. -ou don.t give in to the conflict, but rather work out a solution somewhere between the two sides. !"ample# 0ne person wants to order a type of food and the other person wants another. 1oth compromise and order something totally different. 'his can lead to the downfall of the actual solution leaving none of the sides happy. 2ometimes no one wins. 3. Collaborate 'he most useful tactic, particularly with e"treme conflict and workplace bullying. 'he aim here is to focus on working together to arrive at a solution, where both sides have ownership of and commitment to the solution.

'here is a different level of ownership for behaviors. • -ou must recogni6e that 7maybe) part of the problem is your own fault# you allowed it to happen and did not try to address it to begin with.t believe that the best defense is a good offense + that is part of the 4ompeting strategy. 4heck your heart# can you separate the person from the performance? :f you are not getting anywhere. 'hese are your emotions and they must be owned by you. on the other.!"ample 1# -ou and someone else are at completely opposed viewpoints over a pro%ect. and put a further wedge between parties. <on. which can cause huge an"iety and fear. separate the person from the situation. :s your heart showing the desire to collaborate? <on. -ou talk to this person using the strategies below and collaborate on modifying their behavior. not the person# this means addressing the behavior rather than the entire e"istence of that person. but occasionally find anyway. aintain eye contact and use your body language to convey your belief in what you are saying. then own this fact and ask for forgiveness of not being able to resolve the conflict at the moment. but is not a compromise.stuff. or confidence boosters if you are shy. 1e very sure that you have not committed the same conflict9offense. anage yourself during the resolution attempt + learn calming strategies if you are hot+tempered.t cross your arms protectively. Never lay blame. as this will only fan the fires. as this will put the onus onto the other person to take the other part of the responsibility. 'his allows us to have hope in moving through the most difficult situations. 0ur body language shows our heart. we are putting our unnecessary . ask for further information from the other person about the reasons for their behavior. -ou sit down and work out why they believe in their point of view. this will actively put the other person under the spotlight and they will get defensive. and e"plain your own. Above all. 'his can be the most difficult strategy if confidence is low. which answers both sides. 5se this strategy when the goal is to meet as many of the current needs as is possible.why. >re*uently this is because either they have .t put yourself on a lower level than the other person 7such as sitting on a lower chair). as it involves actually naming the issue to the conflict+creator. and people will take less offense if you address their behavior than if you critici6e them personally. remember that people who en%oy creating conflict are ultimately power+ seekers who en%oy controlling others.t like in others what we don. • • • • • =2# :f you sincerely feel you cannot resolve a conflict due to being very emotionally upset. 4lever and lateral thinking can provide a solution. as emotion will only make things escalate.t fiddle with something nervously. -ou can state this aloud and actively take part of the responsibility. anything less. :t is your responsibility to manage yourself. and don. 2eek first to understand $ork the issue. !"ample &# 2omeone is bullying you at work. 4omebacks and not acknowledging another. To collaborate successfully on an issue such as bullying or continuing conflict you need to follow a few basic guidelines . Again. at the beginning + if you do. 'ry not to be emotional. but don. 8emember that we fre*uently don.s point of view are also part of competing# listen to the other side as they have %ust as much of a right to share as you do.t ask *uestions with . don.t want to see in ourselves.

what is the alternative? :t. .. After all..s time for e"tending the olive branch. A little compassion will take you a long way both in resolving the situation and in putting it behind you when it is resolved.suffered in a similar way before or feel that they have very little control over their own lives and they do anything they can to feel in control.