being a man,means to threat-even the lives of a lonely family of foreigners in my country, i prefer to stay forever a child,and if Iranian culture is all about money,then I prefer to stay Greek..Thank God its not like this at all. And these qualities are not identified with these behaviours.There are people aquiring the aforementioned qualities at their most pure form, but their difference is that they don t say it but they live it...!ontrary when someone praises so much himself as something, is in reality in a state of autosuggestion, he tries to convince himself that he is what he claims and finally he believes it, while no one other see is at all, e"cept someone who don#t know of course and listens his childish heart instead of his mind .$o I am not that kind of verbal %man%, im not that kind of verbal %Iranian%, of verbal %&uslim% etc, im happy with what i am, and i don t live my life through something else, that doesn t belong to me, that its not my quality, my property or whatever, this is my humility, this is my %poverty% ,my simplicity and my pride.. 'ne of the causes of $chi(ophrenia after all is our internal conflict between what we would like to be and what we really are.And when we really are,we are aware, so it happened with me.. i learned everything and the fake stereotypes concerning Iranian !ulture collapsed one by one, now im aware of what is all about,now im awake in what i had to be,but it doesn t hurt me so much, because it was like i always knew, like i was always feeling it ,in my lo)v*neliness and my uncertainity, in the insults,and the rabelaisian behaviours, the suspiciousness, and the enemity for the %otherness%,in a proportion that was e"ceeding the normal disagreements, at least when you are in a phase of building a relation, you must have tolerance and be more enthusiastic and happy, the point of view interpreting any behaviour as bad sign, and generally this deliberated understanding of the other as potential +evil, guy has nothing to do first of all, with Iranian culture and second with a person(or a family) desiring to share his-hers-their life with another or that consider marriage really important and are not viewing marriage simply as trading....ut what really hurted me was that now im viewed as someone that gave

fake promises, as someone that did nt really feel what he said etc. /o, never, i don t accept that for me, and e"actly this is the reason i sent, what i wanted was marriage and nothing more than that, and in that i didn t lie.. 0ow could i have lied when was not even let to lie, to speak, to say my last word, all was your negative answer and after the life threats and my un1ustified demoralisation followed. 2id we say anything3 2idn#t we agree that we ll speak with someone else to make the mutual understanding between our families clear3 how you said I gave fake promises and i was lying3i was lying in what3in the fact that i wanted to marry you i was lying3or in the fact that i will fullfill the terms as they were3 because this is different, disagreeing on those terms after being aware, that something in the whole thing was not healthy, normal or transparent-and you cannot deny this anymore- is not matter of forgetting a promise but matter of human dignity .4hat a man should fulfil in a manner ,he wants or he can is enough for a marriage to take place, if the aim of the other side is marriage of course55 .ut because I#m a good person, and because i try to follow the official narrative, instead of viewing behind the whole thing an organi(ed plan from people that they were behaving like blackmailers(if you dont do that..no marriage for you..)e"ploiting my strong feelings during our communication in a polite manner and who finally openly and very seriously were threatening my own life and my physical health, i want to clarify my position.I dont know if you understand how ugly is, marriages to be destroyed because of money in 6789,and im not talking about the necessary things that a husband should provide his family like house, car and an income, no one disagreed on that, but on the whole idea of a fi"ed amount that must be transfered as soon as possible at an account in 2ubai, and the fact that we had to pay a high mahr forward(with out any significant exchange!!!), namely the activation of an ancient or tribal custom incompatible with Islam(as far as concerns the high amount-Prophet, Imams all of the
Wali and Ulema or e en the !cursed! Ummar,that finally had more ethical approach towards life, from a lot of !"hias! cursing him, discouraged in any possi#le manner the high mahr-$ah#ar himself, denies to recite %i&ahs for couples that girl as&s high mahr as

insomuch when a pair is married what a man owns is accessible to his wife as well. what they wanted other than the pac&age0) or even any other marriage since people that have created a very high idea of themselves. saying that giving half of a house-not any house of course and anywhere-to a woman for marrying you . #ecause they were fearing* for that package. se&e for the masoomeen. hides unsuccessfully the fact that ..I must also admit that some-few..ery high class families as& some dang of earth forward #ut in a fair manner #oth for #oys family and #oth honouring for the girl.I must admit that there is an 'orf( in the old and rich households of )sfahan li&e "hay&h *ahais family.ust -. in the degree of a psychological symptom will never be . 'f course these statements are valid only if we try a lot to e"clude the possibility of a desire from your side concerning a very specific house.well).and incompatible with advanced societies)as far as concerns the forward paying:(#ut to #e fair.and was. $imilarly. and a lack of love. that they ta&e the mahrie forward to marry their girls+. but being forced to do so has its own specific 'regime(. we didnt want. moreover a husband can give half house to his own wife from his own will after some years when mutual trust has been tested. and not as a commodity.so a ten years old &id as&. that I will explain #elow. to convince them actually for the pure intentions of you and your family ( I was fearing to tell you these pro#lems as well #ecause you was threatening me when I started to ma&e an introduction). This has nothing to do with a reluctance to share my property with my wife. #ut i learned when i was already dependent with the idea of that marriage) and come in conflict with my family(our communication decreased significantly and they e en started to send me half of my monthly income. now I want to believe that this "hypothetical" desire did not take shape from the starts but functioned as a motive to convince a family that had not desire for that marriage(they cynically confessed.without an e"change of similar value.) that view woman as a special human being with her own personality and her rights to work and property. it has to do with the psychological pressure to accomplish a very specific package(for which i didn/t &now from the starts.. is a prove of your love.7< of the average simple-minded women in this world would marry someone for half house of such value even if they didn#t like him at all.

com-quality-of- life-rankings?by?country.uality of life and the purchase of money is 34 times lower from <reece000 of course not!!!! http>--www.and any lawma&ing concerns the economy.wi&ipedia.or spendings must first #e accepted #y 6roi&a-e en are pressuring to a#olish army.. are still not 1ustifying such a fi"ed package. while viewing themselves like Gods and decide for the e"istence of life on earth.numbeo. .#ut no.com234-32--2542troi&a-see&s-toend-compulsory-military-ser ice-in-greece2 our )uropean lenderswhich in reality function as shade go ernment of my country... which was perceived. that they have no idea of what love is.uality of life in the world.&eeptal&inggreece. The fears of running away and the contradictory with that fear laughable concern for my absence from a semi-mercenary. based on inhuman and un-Islamic criteria like the nationality and even social class!!(if you don/t fulfill the pac&age how we will &now your financial situation00-as if what marries is my property and not me.i had to fulfil the pac&age as it was) . in 34-5. semi-compulsory =uropean modern army(http122www. in so much they cannot see their own situation clearly and they tend to ma"imi(e e"istent or non-e"istent disadvantages of the other. in other words almost all <ree&s were high or high middle class).ut i want to focus on the fear of running away and the .satisfied.but not in a such dramatic level to be compared from half-informed people with the life inde" of Afghanistan while its still very higher even from Iran( 3= positions lower. or as if #uying my own house for my own self wouldn/t #e indicating of my social class. Argumentations for the quality of life in my country are also false.1sp*.during 344: we had the 33nd #est . #ut this doesn>t mean that they are star ing or li e under po erty.ust -4 million-which is a ery great amount)will face. and so there is no other to blame beside those. the quality of life changed of course ( http122en.and if we want the money we ha e to follow 7ll of their instructions.org2wi&i28uality-of-life9Index .capital punishment55 The package proposed before any e"tensive discussions about army as well.is #ig change for people that were actually li ing #etter from the a erage 8atari or )mirati and that made them angry.* . as if my country is /a(i Germany at war state and whoever refuse to go there(namely some hundrend thousands of youths!! for a country of . all these argumentations even if were correct. 7re the people in Iran star ing although the . although they reached such ages.

. namely to have your own husband forever ne"t to you. because this is the real insurance and nothing else. $imilarly cra(y mahr like 877 kilos of flies wings and one million roses were signed to make divorce difficult. between Iranians and non Iranians where not such a fi"ed package proposed ..although the guy was foreigner. A signed mahrie of 8777 seke for e"ample. The mahr in the modern iran is not about taking but for:making. a guarantee to protect their girl... and even a house or half a house . makes divorce difficult for the man. not fi"ed to respond in any specific amount of money or at least not without a generous sacrifice of wealth from your side in case that is obligatory. but a guarantee in such cases is nothing more than a guarantee.it can be the meeting with someone#s family. .a piece of land.. so lets see. these fears are absolutely logical. its something “sleepy” that activates only if the worst happens. university. There is no reason to refer in a lot of successful marriages i had the luck to see. A/2 /'T A fi"ed package. respectful. its not for taking something and consequently encourage divorce. but i will start from the preposition it self.of our choice. every good family in such case would have a need for a @amanat.!is it all about taking3 in the starts of a marriage who insist so much in the taking3 And now lets see the obligatory terms.ut never and in any case is something associated with benefit or profit. that he ll end up in 1ail. the guarantee is a sign of goodwill and seriousness from our side . .in the girl#s country.!What we>ll ta&e in case of. its value is symbolic first of all and so it can take various prices ethical or actual .ut paying from the starts to marry is something different. legally one . in case. his house and his neighbourhood. it can be a visit to his country.the divorce difficult and force the pair to review and revive their relation after a crisis.guarantee the family wanted to have. a field of (eytoun. this part is the e"tra because im foreigner and it should be totally out of any obligatory terms. work.&hoda na &one-i would leave. communication with his close associates. and show people with high sense of responsibility and highly developed family bonds.. . insomuch very few Iranians(less than -4?!!!) acquire this amount.. participation in someone property.

Italy.is considerable amount for Iran and not only(you can #uy =4m3 apartment in a lot of good areas.A seke every month after divorce why was proposed3 $omeone that suddenly left how and why should pay3 $imply because he didn#t left.. so the argument of leaving was also an e"cuse that don#t 1ustify the fi"ed package.moreover the B7777 could become at once 8A7777 with some sweet words for about a week(!who you trust more than me or my family to write him the rest half of the house0!)8A7777 euro is really a property.(these 7$) %A6 BC thoughts. with nothing in return. you consider social class fundamental alue. makes the divorce more easy. a sure one-sided mahrie. but he was divorced )3*or something forced him to leave like a revealed secret or a deliberated behaviour3. its #etter to let this issue out). not only because it rises the suspicion between the pair (it happened e en #efore the marriage. ways to do that.write her half of the house that you want to #uy where er you li&e(was so difficult0or e en letting me do it myself without any enforcement0what pro#lem I would ha e0i intended to do that e en with my own first house in <reece). the 8. and your family was fully aware that I m not a bad person and I would never leave you.and count the times it happened to pay the food)555* of someone. and if the package proposed because of the fear that ill suddenly leave. and i don t want to listen the opposite at least from people that 877 and 8A7 toman have value for them. e en in countries li&e "pain. but who does without at the same time paying a lot from her side3 and i don t want to listen things like it was the only way to make the divorce difficult. #ut an example of how can someone thin& you when you insist so much on fixed pac&ages. 'f course always there was also the very small to be honest. and you threat human li es+you are generally .@rance. there are plenty other +sleepy. &oreover a ready mahrie. and if not sleepy to be in my own choice3*. imagine after*but also because B7777 euro(:4 in reality #ut i dont say more a#out prices. where the fi"ed amount could be %lost% . and use it as in estment or #oosting with that an already existent). possibility of an %accident%.has the right to ask her mahr whenever she wants. and even if they weren t how could i sold a house in one day under your nose and escape like a thief with no word3 it simply doesn t make any sense.so it wouldn#t be better to be +sleepy.

uestion.insomuch all these things were being asked from me at once.iewed as someone stops+.at nothing. but i had to give for this marriage forward almost 677777 euro-lets say -:4. if finally nothing stays in my hands. why should I #uy half a house whose half alue BU"6 #e 344 se&e-344 and e en 3:4 se&e themsel es are not #ad if they are not as&ed forward-and at the same time the in estment.so the specific package is not about a whole life insurance.for <ods "ha&e!!! . 7%D not reason to pre ent a marriage*.that would go directly in your poc&ets-as I told I had no many choices other than the apartment. as for the argument a#out those 'claiming also a house( except se&e this was. namely the obligatory mahr(#ecause all these things included in the mahr..o# with satisfying income other than my family/s that would directly rise x ..#our nami&onim.ut contrary is pointing out to a very specific need of a very specific amount which partially(why00isnt the whole thing #ecomes little mur&y0or its conspiracy theory0lets see. in whose choice i was pushed indirectly. and it was easy to write in someone of you the rest of the house.uestion 'what ma&es meow on the roof!00!!(a cat0or an amount that someone needs0 and can #e perfectly ta&en #y using an apartment of somehow less alue as an um#rella0 *. .namely almost C77 million tomans or C77 seke(. li&e the guarantee is . although hus#and himself may want to do so sometime in the future.ama + ma.In addition the insisting on the numbers and the investment for this marriage although for two young people loving each other and are not yet parents these things are not compulsory(we don/t disagree that an in estment is needed. that determines the exchange alue of a thing-what for example ma&es a hammer cost li&e 5 &ilos of salt0 #ut is li&e the answer in the .. e en #efore the marriage. *U6 this thing can also ne er #e part of o#ligatory terms we had to sign!!!. even for our grandchildrenne er such aspirations although understanda#le are #ecoming o#ligatory terms in a mahr. since there was no sta#le .we want little while other families claim :44 se&e-an #andeha &hoda most possi#ly will ne er see them. they were not of my choice) was not 677 seke..and you gi e right to someone to thin& anything*. the amount and the type of in estment is of our choice. is included in the mahr!!is not the lost in time alchemical type. and e en easier to transfer it directly in your name instead of selling it to me for some other reasons+"o the argument 'for you we said that( doesn/t ma&e sense. since i had no other alternative(ma.#our hasti-the answer in the .ust a show of goodwill from our side. not actual argument #ecause they didn/t claim it in the name of their daughter.) responds to an investment in a very specific house.

ahiFie. except the in estment since renting in Iran is not in the interest of the consumer #ut the owner0 where would we li e0 Isn/t that my real o#ligatory duty0 actually except from our case Bahr is rarely a reason pre enting a marriage. and how I was excluded from that0 didn/t I ha e to #uy one more house. to sit on the table again and solve the issue by making the terms safe and rational for both sides(we had two choices1normal terms li&e all people with the special pri ilege that you don/t pay anything -except the few you proposed and don/t surpass in any case the amount of :4442G444 euro(talar foodHringHclothesHiron(!)Hcoo&ing stuff)-and of course you don/t ta&e something forward except the guarantee that the house stays to you in case I di orce you or I lea e. that its morally correct.or even preventing us from proceeding to that marriage.#ut as a mean of sustenance for their life. we proposed the first cause we feel shame to as& such amounts of money.and you pay 'hada&al( 344 million toman for complete . that grooms pay the whole amount forward. and we have not problem with that. the rules concerning those giving some dang or half a house to the girl are the following >when you want half a house from someone you should pay the whole 1ahi(ie and not any 1ahi(ie but at least 677-6A7 million toman. did someone proposed us such thing3 because if you did i don#t think there would be any reason for us to doubt on the terms and not feeling safe to proceed normally. would be e"tinct because very few Iranians could marry. but '/DE marriage. $o they had to be reviewed immediatly from the starts.. thing that didn#t happen from our side. or that this case was one of them.and their death reveals all of their inner contradictions as a well designed 'Firang#aFi. And now the main issue. &ahr of such amounts is of course compulsory for real high class marriages but this doesn#t mean. and even after the life threats we proposed indirectly.and the life goes on!!!). if of course is fair. %A6 specific house of course.If these things were really e"isting in iranian culture the Iranian nation now.. contrary people ma&e some choune with the price-that they Ell not pay unless di orce ta&es place. marriage was for us very important. but you wanted to play in their +hard game. you could propose the second and no pro#lem would occur* but you didn#t want. something other . but since you didn#t these terms are totally dead and fake. or ery high class terms where you ta&e half a house of your choice-as far as concerns price.

a holy Furan. and an income are the obligatory terms for an average middle class-high middle class Iranian strictly attached to the customs.6hey saw you foreigners and they were claiming whate er they want.#ut may#e you li&ed also the pac&age #ecause for your side it was perfect. sir bahar (few hundrend or e en thousand euros)some appliances. his family would laugh-we e en laughed unconsciously at some moments!!!-and would lea e directly+. but we were the cheated ones() eryone told us that they would ne er dare to as& those things from an Iranian. till the end you defended the terms . if you had from the starts a hamseda&at with social status and aware of the mar&et. and the honour of your name in your family that knew you were about to marry was for us e"tremely important. a symbolic amount of seke.and nothing more. a proposition that i was also denied.the alternati e of the . you say the other liar. since this pac&age could not #e presented in that form in front of Iranians). and since your main concern was my adaption to the culture.than these terms.7nother possi#ility is that if we had hamseda&at they would deny marriage something confirmed from what has #een told to all my friends that could function as potential hamseda&at. was it sooo hard to admit that we did the right thing00 7nd tell us. but to propose.) beyond any imagination that reveals a lot-your time.some 1ewllery. and e en it was much easier for you to say no to me instead of saying no to pac&age..they concluded #ut. therefore we didn#t cheat anyone. as if i had to marry the terms and not a human being. and we had to re. (&utah migireftand(.an Gmre. they were holy and infallible.as well.a car. some of the marriage e"penses.may#e you wanted to defend your family. i was not obliged to give forward much more of what an Iranian gives(the o#ligatory part I mean. you ha e right #ut no.A simple house for my family.etc while you &now that the terms were not fair and good for us.the minimum for sa ing the marriage. and everything was rounding around them. the fact that they didn/t when you were alone and helpless isn/t something honouring them..and even in that state of fear we had the dignity not to let you without protection.ect them. i wanted even to say sorry and i was ready to take all of my responsibilities towards you and your family. the mirror.well: terms are to change not to be signed without search so you have no right to accuse me for irresponsibility towards you because even in these moments of brutal terrori(ing and character assassination(you destroy the others credi#ility to present your self as clean.

not #ecause the pac&age was what mattered for us and nothing else. @or all these reasons it was not.ut a single one didn#t say. and so we were not a#le to tal& a#out it to your family. with people &nowing you. d)your family and friends #ecause of your tendency to represent yoursel es as perfect people. #)is not morally correct to discuss for the pac&age. while some others would difficult give her because of fear. and:. .) and I was as much ob1ective as I could because I was thirsty. insomuch the opinion of the others is what always matters in your narrati e.ut when we e"plained them the terms and the situation completely they said that this is something else.There#s no reason to deny it anymore: $ome people would easily give their daughters to a foreigner if he was good person and loved her.. I was desiring sooooooo much. and the name of your family.c)"ome close of your family may#e were informed for the pac&age and the reasons #ehind it so they would defend the pac&age. and even if the marriage is included. a good choice referring to them for help. and something else is also there.(they feared(. its not only about marriage. they &now you partially or superficiallythey would ne er expect you for example to threat human li es. and acceptable. something that goes out from the pure framework of marriage.. proving to my mom that we made wrong conclusions. #ut #ecause for you it mattered.the same haq we gave our selves.ahiFie for half a house in exchange was also a good proposal that ne er happened-after the o#ligatory part. and to communicate directly your family. instead of discussing a#out your ehla.told us. more than anything else insomuch if we didn/t accept it you would destroy the marriage as it happened after all.expensi e complete . I was dying for someone telling me that the terms were logical. ha e not a clear picture of you. #ecause a) we respect your pri acy. through a third person to say one million sorry and accept that I was fool that I didn#t trust them:. and . we asked some people from all the social strata and from all the social categories both traditional and modern families (the argument why you didn/t as& from people from our family or our friends directly doesn/t ma&e sense #ecause we didn/t want to learn who you are #ut we wanted to learn for the pac&age. 'is there a possi#ility that they were fearing0( we were asking.what I would li&e to spend it/s a different story)+4ith absolute respect to the rules of privacy. !these terms are o& and you did mista&e for daring to dou#t that they came down from the s&yli&e the holy #oo&s. $ome in the starts gave a haq to you . and so they would try to be close to the 'other.

or you don#t want to fill it completely . #ecause e en if the girl pays I of what the #oy paid.. #ut you seemed to accept these terms.I just want marriage. )saying 'from which rousta came the guy told you such craFy things(.ahiFie of the same alue is also the exception and its also o&. is not something common or morally acceptable. regime that imposed on me if I wanted this marriage* shows that 'this family wanted to finish that story with the less damage possi#le( and +marriage is not more important for them from di orce(.if marriage is their sole intention)mahr is related e"clusively with divorce.we were not right with you I/m sorry(. they would like to know his family or they would simply say no from the starts. se&e00half a house for . she pro es that the marriage is 'Jadi( for her and she doesn/t intend to lea e.here I must add that the fact of throwing on our backs the cost of the most appliances-which is the most crucial point. #ut not important. but if they didn#t have why they are not more humble in their claims. while you should say 'Kassan.(we created you fa&e pain for nothing(. and this is what we exactly excpected at least from you. the fact that made my family angry as you remember and finally they had right to be so because 1ahi(ie is girls responsibility. depri ed from any feeling or human alue. #ecause #oth sides gi e the same-with the hus#and gi ing -4444 euro more-in extreme cases. $ome even shocked and said 'you must doing some mista&e(is impossible someone to take such mahr forward. and especially the forward taking of such a high mahr without an e"change of similar value. but no one would ask those things to give his or her daughter and even if they did. you don#t have.. sir bahar is what you give forward and even in e"treme cases it doesn#t surpass few hundrend or few thousand euro (-. it maybe shows that they didn#t have.become friends with him to trust him. se&e mahrie forward in the old esfahani families is the exception. and we would sol e the rest part and don/t say to me that I tal& emotionally.#ut what is -. not only is mashare &ardan in our face #ecause e en the Iranian stones &now these things.). how you claim half a house of such value when you don#t intend. indicating us that these terms.(if they want to help marriage. especially when she claims half a house. #ecause another argument used from your side is what a girl will do if her groom lea e0. this argument is also of emotional nature and has nothing to do with the cold calculations..#ecause of the marriage expenses. its not something they would admit publicly.

ust one day00!!!and how so simply you destroyed e erything while we were on search)0 similarly how a good muslim girl says 'you are still a #oy you listening your mom// while she should e en appreciate me for that07nd while she herself shows religious de otion to her family terms.it was dangerous to #e honest. you would not claim the fi"ed package. as if this marriage was . no pro#lem if we don/t marry . and how I could do it when the terms lost their credi#ility0-here I must refer to a wonderful couple from "hiraF little older from us. so you would never admit that if e"ist . it shows a wea& attachment that can #rea& .or im thin&ing not to marry you. but a non-direct profit guarantee of our choice.respect him. to prevent life because of money333/ot only we would never do that.why you didn#t tell us openly there is this and that problem and in this period(we are #uilding a house.her that with such terms +musahase ke in dokhtar mikhad bere((the fact that all the time and with a#solute apathy you was telling. but we would hug you like our family with our heart. 1ust because you did#nt have money3335555555333&'/=E3333 are we sick people. and we were informed.with a suitable equipment of similar value3 . in 34-5 a girl cannot say I want this marriage and I will do it. so how we can trust forward a property to a person that is not fully dedicated and de oted to her future hus#and and her marriage(how a new hastegari appeared suddenly on . the woman told us.ust for fun. he had nothing and in the starts they were sharing an apple in two ..ust a . while at the same time you was as&ing for the money . they married from lo e. accept him and don/t drin& his #lood #ecause I will marry no one else0you could say why you didn/t as well0 #ecause I wasn/t so sure for your feelings as you were a#out mine. real example of Persian Lulture and "hia spirituality.After all these how could we believe in the holy terms3 how could we be sure for the intentions of your side3 4hy you are accusing us while you know that something was wrong3 Eou don#t know that many things were not the same after my mom came-for the e"clusive purpose of that marriage3 she didn#t have the right to be informed as well3 0ow would you feel if everyone laughed in your face for finding these terms acceptable because of ignorance and love3 0ow would your mother feel if any of her children wanted to marry a girl while everyone was telling-already from Greece. we are paying a loan. but if that was the case.etc)and we cannot afford the cost of that marriage3. 4ould we ever say no to the marriage. and she paid e erything. and some 'loo&s( here and there.o&e.

ecti e. this is the "hia of 7li.. its unfair to #lame them for e erything after all. they communicate.and that 'in do&htare &e migid estesnast(. the negative answer while we were still on search(why00we shouldn/t continue our search till the end0 till we pro e oursel es mista&en if we were indeed mista&en0) and we didn#t say our decision. your hurrying up to talk for the terms(e en more from your family. he loves them (to #e o#. whate er house) 1ust for economic differences. and they cried for my story. why you were so sure that I will lea e0 It Was a feeling that i would disco er something hidden after marriage0.esty of a 3:44 years old ci iliFation. this is the ma.including two wonderful children. the ultimate secret of an erfani approach in life. and you can come here and stay under our house if its not small for you. without any money.not naive. and they e en said you are not ghari# anymore. pure hearted innocent people that 1ust had a cra(y idea because they care for their girl. soon they had e erything .ecause if that was the case they would say lets review the terms... not someone as&ing the perfect man while herself has no the charisma of the woman. they cried for the lac& of ensaniat and the tragic fate of the ghari# (&heili #ad aF Iranian didi(.!!* even from the airport if it was possible555 and the need to apologise to everyone knows(if the pac&age was normal. without knowing if its morally correct or not-we investigated even that possibility. or her maternity and nothing more than that. why someone has to explain the 'reasons( of that pac&age0 instead of ha ing self confidence for #eing within the area of the 'orf(0) shows people totally aware for what.moreo er. based on a mutually accepted framework ( I . a real woman. while for other families e en the coming of my family for them would #e enough to #less that marriage.*and while the most girls of our generation che chadori .che mantoi were telling us that they wouldn#t destroy a marriage with some one they like. lets procceed normally to that marriage.. they were asking for and its social repercussion . . and this is the perfect wife that deser es her perfect hus#and. and our family has a lot of good girls that would ne er marry you for ta&ing something. to ser e her lo e. #ut with the help of 7llah and their lo e. how should we react3saying again::chasm3 &oreover the e"treme reactions of your side.#ecause he didn/t ha e money.the most '#ad( among them added the house-not in their name of course-and the car.. whate er car. especially the deadly silence of the last day.. the strange behaviour of your family the last two weeks. and he didn/t want her family to help them.

and even kidnap. it #ecame o#scurantist. in the strictly . and this is what I was meaning #y saying that only law separated from ehla.ayed and erfan means nothing. even you went to haram to pray. simplified and 'horafati(.and gi ing importance to only one part of the religion li&e salafis or li&e alawis.. disappointed for losing a vital amount they would take(as I told e erything was pointing out to your apartment. is totally unaccepta#le to cheat e en polytheists.ut what im trying to say3the amount was good(Don/t say the opposite+let other people to say it) and all those guys investing in real estate even if they are rich(imagine if they are not. the soooooo fi"ed price before the marriage-bring your money and buy as soon as possible because the =uro will fall. exploitation of the other. #ut cheating a muslim is. #ecause your approach on religion from the moment you went 6ehran and after totally changed as e erything else. for example according to the law.udicial meaning of the term. can #e considered shir& or e en Fanda&a. to move forward. you cannot ta&e a part of religion that you li&e #ecause it doesn/t critisiFe lo e for wealth.ection of emotions. to the social ele ation of people that money is important for them.).a.are all the time in need for cash in their pockets to invest. . but for the acceptance of these terms as they were(here I must refer to the following argument 'if we were not good people we would go haram to pray0(the answer is yes. and $iya-as ehla. 6heres no "hia 7lim that wouldn/t condemn this &ind of faith !!!) .cheating a non-muslim li&e my mom is not haram. the time we lost is precious and all are waiting for that marriage to take place. or capture someone. how could he contri#ute.lahneshoun khoub naboud”-(are .ustices to other people-as it happened with me for example0) matter what I was told. I . re. although the second ones are morally higher. a foreign mushtari was. sla ery. high mahr. does-and say this is Islam as Wahha#is say. this marriage started to seem not so good idea from your side. e"ercise violence . to take loans etc and as you saw yourself.”in harfe doroust nist. good chance. not for our marriage which was something ready if you had the will to negotiate.when they have no fear of God. when we proposed to purchase our own in other area.. to pay loans.ust deconstruct the argument-#ut according to Islamic )hla. who &nows why0 #ut e en it was not needed.ut no. is enough for someone to #e considered a good person. racism for the poor. they threat that they ll kill.explained some examples destroying the concerns of #oth sides). so according to your new perceptions not doing haram. while the wealth owners should not care a#out money and thus not ma&ing in. so my mom had to come-im not saying that you made this thought.

other than H=!IIH'!AD in all cases.ecti ely for a while.. it would mean you are beggar3 are . then we would ha e 'a#rou riFi( case and the destruction of your life.you really feeling proud for all these things and especially for the threats00 Who was the pro#lematic in all this story finally0 thin& o#. even the last moment as I told above we asked from you to put aside every bad intention . .)out of all the boundaries and limits of any human society.. roustai and kabylai things about honour.ga e them right to threat me and my family0(cases li&e ours happen thousands e ery day where after a long communication families finally disagree. 4e had the responsibility of you we wanted to accept you and protect you. 1ahili.And I don#t want here to listen about the papers. li&e common criminals are doing for ta&ing money 3* or primitive. and I was the cheated one who-other than you #y ma&ing them angry.with these papers or their disappearance.).and no one threats no one li&e ci iliFed human #eings. if the percentage responding to half of a house.not only because life threat is clearly a life threat and life threat has no reason to be said.ut because even the fact that you spent your time and grew in that time was for us important.A<of the girls that don#t take houses to marry and marry because of love or because they have to marry.all we wanted was to quit from these terms or at least in that form. social communication intended solely to marriage. #ut now that I didn/t left e en #efore marriage!!. was less of your mahr and not e"actly your .(exception is the e ent I would lea e you after marriage. If for e"ample we didn#t give you half of an 8A7777 euro value house(of our choice of course -this is out of discussion). beggars3 $ay that we gave the house.. in a normal climate without suspiciousness from any side. and discuss everything from the starts. not only because nothing happened. against me. practically. no matter what you had in your mind before .and nothing else. but such an attachment with such a specific package and absolute denial for negotiations on the package itself verifies that the package was what matters and not the marriage. and what the hell we would do with those papers333and why the hell to do00(or #etter why you wanted these papers0you wanted to create fa&e case.return on the table of negotiations. you 1ust have to put aside every non transparent intention and start your life as any other normal housewife. because threats were before thinking on them.

hassan (ade amoli and allameh 1affari.(#ut I ne er said that our ehla. #ande &hoda!!)must live in a house at least like the one before her marriage as far as concerns space.was influenced from bastami and ha11 abdullah.and sensitive.ready to start a life with basics like an income.a house and a car.in .it was because you insulted me many times with such pathetic comments .this poor Iranian Lulture how much was misused to .ayt to make a succesful family. and thus suspicious as it came out to be. package not us. although responding in even more space from the one she was using in her previous house3 don#t you think that in all these stuff something was not sooo transparent3 In which sense e"actly you would be beggar as you were claiming.the foreigner is difficult to understand alone what is going on. is not matching and don/t call me again . The girl i wanted to marry.3 you wouldn#t be ensured that something left to you3 which Iranian e"pects to take all of her mahr in case of divorce3 even if her mahr is 8777 seke..ustify e erything. even if before her marriage she lived in a 677m6 house that she shared with A-J more persons.7< of the cases nothing more than a house and a car of much less value.and finally with the help of Allah and the backing of Ahl Gl . a girl in the +Iranian !ulture ((again. a hypothetical house of 877m6 for two persons why was not good.so.by gradually using all the e"isting potentialities.mahr and the rest of mahr remained +sleepy.revolutionary.to an ignorant.not someone discussing for fi"ed packages and ..artistic.but because these things matter for you-and you know that very well. will end up in her hands.I was &eeping them in my destroyed heart)and because you were the one asking for a strictly fi"ed.and in cra(y love with imam hussain)as*.. and even give you a whole house from our heart-in case we were not asked for that of course3 if we made few pathetic comments-like that for the wall-was not because these things matter for us. and this is the final nail in the coffin of the argument that the fi"ed package had to do with the fact I am foreigner (or may#e it had+. #ut when he has support he stands on his feet)but there was another argument. trying to convince us for the rationality of the absurd and even if you were beggar what problem we would have to accept you.

ut its wrong. and even physically.she is good girl and good girls have no mischief in their heart...with what you have and open the path to marry her.therefore everything they tell me is pure and real. because he dared to stand up in what separates the Gmmah:Insult it was what I saw.. a good girl with no mischief. together in our spiritual and actual travelling .. psychologically.gold kado at least once a month as a proof of love and loyalty 5555And why you didnt left when you saw that the place of $hia spirituality was replaced from an emirati style medieval fake Islam you would ask. you have right I was a bache. but enemity and suspiciousness was there:The gharib is the one you loved:to hate55. but only as far as concerns my innocent perceptions.ecause i believe that these attachment to the material has nothing to do with you and is 1ust bad influences from things you listen here and there. based on their uncertainity but on their certainity that I was a good person with pure feelings and I would accept whatever because of my naMve syllogism .he had to be e"terminated at all levels.no rahma for the gharib was there. grew in a house with no mischief . not give forward specific amounts-without any e"change to make you feel sure and safe.only I see how everything can change in a moment and what tragical games the life can play3&agar only I see that all is birth and death.every form of $hirk. what social . financially. 'r really they believe I would left you3 'f course they not. is what a real man like your dad would say.not the men: fi" your life.and it was painy.and in the same black cave of unity we are all ending up3what culture3what nationality3what opinion of the wider family.. Larbala was what I saw. and that the men don#t cry was what I told. so they didn#t ask the fi"ed amount. Kinally i saw my self changing under the e"treme pressure /o brotherhood was there...is staying like that.&agar. and that we could surpass .the people of interest and benefit don#t cry.and that behind those statements the pure girl i met..and I was crying for the in1ustice. discrimination was what I saw. the wouldn#t threaten me to abandon the country if they thought that I had intention to leave and it was unimportant for me to stay here.

to feel cheated. you want to marry or you want to buy3 2id I brought you to the world disabled3 and we are giving them a property. If only I knew I would have informed you and your family earlier. something that I was not aware of till she came to Iran.and all the Iranians.class and what abrou has left when we are 1ust bones3 only love is eternal.and told me.who am I not to forgive3 am I the unmistakable3 am I perfect3 didn#t I hide you that I gave a struggle and I suffered a lot to convince my family3 2idn#t I hide you that they thought I was under spells for not seeing the obvious.my side.(what are you are as&ing for is impossi#le. for fear that she was losing me my mother said ok to the terms if and only if her investigation would give positive results(something that I was sure it will happen #ecause I trusted you #lindly*-her in estigation had started already from <reece-and the omens were bad. Healism as well is not the ob1ective perception of the creation. to feel the in1ustice allover my body . And here is the whole problem.it needs deep trust.. this of course may happen in some cases. either because the husband is forgiven.and even if they divorce more times they don#t take either because of weakness. and why you felt she don/t li&e you.-while they are giving nothing.And now..your side.you have all the argumentation you need :.while a non dreamy life is a life not worth to be lived.as its name imposes us to think. &new what I didn/t &now-3'n the other hand I didn#t know what would finally happen. but we should never start from that point or rely e"clusively on that to marry .Imam 0ussain)as* and &evlana never die.and say that life must not be dreamy but realistic.although people worse from $haitan try to kill them everyday.and only lonely lovers like Isa)as*.I would never think for e"ample how a marriage could help me and my family.to take you as if you worth nothing3 who takes the seke before marriage. what everyone else (e en you) was seeing-now I understand why you feared a#out the opinion of my mother.and a length of time(. #ecause all of you. the marriage is not determined from the seke.As for me now it doesn#t matter to hate.but the ideology.it could not function as precondition .of viewing the world and the people as a field of e"ploitation and conflicting powers.

I would turn my heart to stone.and thus free to .your family.so natural. and I don#t mean something specific ( other than the fact that it was not something pure and real as I thought) .. a family is proud for saving her child from money-thirsty dangerous people. and so someone that never lived it how can understand its importance3 how can he feel that these things are not a business deal .-or at least at the moment you said that you want to chec& my account e ery time my mom will send money!!!-. I was 1ust unaware.ust #ecause of some fa&e terms. and so I suffered all this pain and fight with my family . for the other is a morally accepted good deal. another family is happy for destroying a marriage they considered controversial from the starts.and #elie ing you instead of finding the strength and the dignity to finish it there. but the one sees with the eyes of heart.without hope (you didn/t ga e me alternati e you tal&ed me a#out your deep pain and how much it will hurt you. $o I didn#t want to take your three an half months passed from the day I learned for your fi"ed price. (and it wasn/t e en that #ecause in a deal you must offer something to ta&e something or no0. from what was seeming suspicious #eha iour-and it was.so many families showed me for what it was all about. and you said these are the terms instead of admitting their a#surdity and fight!!) because where they didn#t feel love. #ut his ad enture. if for one side is an immoral fraud. made you sad. unless you pro e that you didn/t associate with those terms and fight for their collapse #ut you en.everything collapsed under my feet when I reali(ed the truth. is always the loser(his innocence was the #iggest loss. pretty sure that everything was correct and pure because pure it was from my side. it was so logically presented to me. ta&ing at the same time a signed paper from her that she will ne er as& the 'fixed pac&age without exchange( as precondition to life and happiness)everyone takes something e"cept him.and say goodbye forever.li&e ne er #efore.in <reece.because everyone sees it from a particular point of view. and that e erything had to come to an end.#ecause you wanted e erything.and me the idiot I was listening you.if we said no in that pac&age.&y family.). and e en the fact that they wanted to protect my house. the various advisors-out themselves from such a comple" situation. they don#t care for the feelings of someone. .for marriage don#t you think3if only I knew.oyed them as well.and suddenly. will not #e a#out common interests. it#s 1ust a process. from now on the first thing he Ell discuss with e ery potential wife.

because they will never like to be the bad guy.Allahu Akbar for the eternal return of /owru(. .small and big.and feel proud for the ob1ective.claim whatever they want-could easily present themselves as morally superior people. Allahu Akbar. they will not mediate in their affairs.as a glimpse. that two people love each other(if it was not one-sided. and maybe a pair of different nationality.that e"ist in the heart of every non-evil human believing them or not. in the films.as the pure representation of love and I would like to forget this story.but he will be always there. a small manifestation of the Absolute 'ther:Im not praising myself of course.#ecause if it wasn/t one-sided there are no many things someone can do to pre ent and destroy) And they want to marry.forgive each other and .as a remorse will follow them. and so everything for him is cold calculation in the winter 'f the soulless gold.deep.and give them one chance. and false accusations. &oreover they may act accordingly when these values are about to be tested and possibly will not destroy the marriage of their children.and when their life change to worse and they ll have no power anymore to design the destinies.polished for a few seconds. race or class will be saved.and simple values.that leaves this sorrow of why3in a heart.the other.And the tyrants of this world.and prevent love.. that prevents a marriage doesn#t profit him.but sees with her half opened eye that the other not only was not dangerous.will do everything possible to destroy him. culture.the unfair behavior towards the other.the gharib. The world is full of hatred for the lover. because they have already won in the other:. how can he feel that the spring came. A050ow you see how much barakat a real and strong love can spread here and there after it has been defused33: Alhamdulillah55may God bless those who feel love.say the whole creation. a heart that doesn#t 1ustify anymore with fake e"cuses.they ll maybe remember for a while the other. he cannot participate for his own reasons in the celebration of nature. high.and struggled for love. one victory in this world. but the only real friend can someone have. because he himself has no access to happiness.

This decision. or because of weakness to start a new life .other than foulani hanevade. and make a final conclusion that its not fair and simply leave. so we could never have access to the full picture. is rare. and what drives some people to do something. and condemn them in hell and consider them fundamentally evil while their motives are maybe good in nature..generally say to your family to let everyone and everything that is associated with me behind. and a honest will to make known. it doesn#t matter anymore. to know yourselves how and why we finally re1ected the package. but the need. for one last time. my assumptions are partially wrong. and therefore we should not so simply delete people that we shared so much. but we left with no other choice: Ierhaps. evil and dangerous from what we thought.I respect you and them and we would never talk for you in someone. 4hat happened happened and our principle is to keep it for our selves. but since we don#t know what problems e"ist in a house. not different from what an Iranian family asks for the marriage of their child. and what the others think your most high value. on the contrary:It was taken solely on the basis of what can be described as a +sense of responsibility. in a normal framework. a first manly act in the life of a “bache”. that if something real and deep is there. perhaps it was not evil at all. plus one (amanat that doesn#t . was that pushed us to take some safety measures and we are sorry even for that. by name. perhaps it was something much worse.Gnless. although their manner -was the wrong one-your pride I must admit.. and trying to forget is not the only road left. again.or because of fear. it would never cross our families as well. $o please don#t let your family communicating me. and clarify everything. if it is for undertaking our duties towards you and them of course. pain. in any case these terms and the way they were imposed was not morally correct. we took the decision to communicate you. was not taken because of emotional dependence. a proof that I had never intention to leave if that marriage had took place. and because we would never want to make in1ustice to anyone. if we didn#t reach the level of threats.

and become sure for everything they have doubted. or an e"change that heals it. with no suspiciousness.. e"cept ours.raise suspiciousness. all of them are informed on the events.no fake things like lu"ury. . no bad intentions . no personal interest. then they can communicate my mother. and we find it fair to listen and your own narrative. but only marriage and nothing else. so in case that you are really interested in solving and review the issue and for no other reason .they will e"pect you to communicate them . through the following Iersian-Greek speaking persons.