How to Make Prison Wine (Just in Case


Maybe you’re getting ready for your friend’s annual Oz Christmas party, or maybe you’re just counting the days until The Man comes down on you for all those jaywalking tickets, but at some point it’s important that everybody learn how to make pruno, aka prison wine — a D ! boo"e made of fruit, preservatives, sugar, and mo#ie that you can cook up in a couple of days$ Days you’ll no doubt spend sharpening a spoon into something more useful$ %ike a spork, or whatever$ &&&&&&

will do$ f you still need to stuff them in a pillowcase to beat on your cellmate.em in a giant /iploc bag$ &&&&&&& .How to Make Prison Wine Step 1 'irst.em and toss . don’t worry — they can be bruised$ -eel . take as many oranges as you can get from the mess hall( about )*+.

juice and all. take a gigantic can of fruit cocktail 1two. into the bag$ 3ave a couple grapes to eat though$ They’re delicious$ &&&&&&& .Step 2 0e#t. if you can smuggle them2 and dump it.

cubes.Step 3 0e#t. just for a little acidity in the mi#$ That’s about four packets$ &&&&&& Step 4 !east is what makes this crap turn into alcohol. you’re gonna need some sugar to help the fermentation process$ 34uirrel away about ). then about 5tbsp of ketchup. so toss whatever bread you can in there so the yeast’ll get the juices boo"in’$ Don’t overdo it6 a piece or two should suffice$ &&&&&& .

you’re gonna need to use your fists to pound the mi#ture into a pulp$ 7e sure to seal your bag first.Step 5 3ince your pillowcase is now devoid of oranges. though. or else your cell’s gonna look like you took a shotgun to a garbage can you found outside a 8amba 8uice$ &&&&&&& .

Step 6 -ut the bag somewhere warm and safe — maybe the toilet. maybe a sink. repeat the process of pouring warm water over the bag$ Do this for 5 ! "a#s$ &&&&&&& . maybe a bucket you smuggled in — and pour warm water over it to help the fermentation$ Then either cover it or wrap it in a towel$ 9ach day.

t< !eah. which is what got you here in the first place$ &&&&&& Step ! &fter a'out a week. just shank the bag a bunch of times and( voila< D ! strainer$ &&&&&& . so there’s gonna be some gas as this turns into boo"e$ Make sure to leave the bag open a tiny crack or else your /iploc bag’s gonna turn into a tropical time*bomb. strain the nasty fruit goop$ f you can’t find a strainer.Step 6 1%2 :h sh.

slamming a glass of grapefruit juice.+B@+. then drinking it again. it’s boo"e$ >nd it beats the hell out of spending a week in solitary with just water and spork*related fever dreams$ ?ecipe Courtesy Thrillist ?ead more at http6@@foodbeast$com@A. and you’re close to the flavor profile of this concoction$ Maybe add earwa# and a little glue$ 7ut hey. throwing it all up.(he )*i+ .@AC@how*to*make*prison* wine@DE3MsuyFT'CuC)+"A$GG .esu+ts 7ada*bing< t looks like Tang$ t smells like rotten fruit and boo"e$ 3o what does the fruit of our cell*block labor taste like= magine brushing your teeth.

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