Fruitful

Parenting
Moving from Behavior Modification
to Heart Transformation

A Creekstone Sunday Night Seminar

led by Kristy and McKay Caston

www.facebook.com/fruitfulparenting

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WELCOME to the Fruitful Parenting Seminar! We are glad that you are here and pray that the time
you are investing tonight will prove helpful, even fruitful, in your own lives, as well as that of your
children.

RESOURCES TO CONSIDER
Give Them Grace, Elyse M. Fitzpatrick
Shepherding a Childs Heart, Tedd Tripp

Age of Opportunity, Paul David Tripp

KEY BIBLE PASSAGES

John 15:4-5, 4 Abide in me, and I will abide in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself,
unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the
branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you
can do nothing.
Galatians 5:16-17, 22-23, 16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of
the flesh. 17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are
against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want
to do 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

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THE QUESTION FOR PARENTS: What is our goal?

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I.

A PHILOSOPHY OF FRUITFUL PARENTING: BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION VS. HEART

TRANSFORMATION

II. PARENTING AS DISCIPLESHIP

1. What is a disciple?

2. What is discipleship? Helping our children come alive to the wonder of Gods
__________________________.

III. THE PURPOSE OF DISCIPLINE

1. Before we rush into the how of discipline, we need to start with the why.
2. Why did God give us his law?
3. The purpose of discipline is to teach us the __________________________!
4. So, should we still teach the moral law and have house rules?
(1) To show a personal need for __________________________
(2) To provide practical ways to __________________________

IV. PRACTICAL ISSUES WITH DISCIPLINE

1. Implement __________________________-Time Obedience.
2. Explain the why behind the what.
3. Emphasize the concept of __________________________.
4. Prepare them for success.
(1) Going to a restaurant, the grocery store and/or a play date
(2) When your child is tempted to interrupt
5. Provide an __________________________ process.
6. Affirm the work of the Spirit when you see the spiritual fruit of heart obedience.
7. Address disobedience with __________________________.
(1) Explain the charges.
(2) Emphasize the need for consequences.
(3) Be __________________________ about the consequences.
Time outs
Spanking
Loss of a privilege

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(4) Follow through with the consequence

(5) Follow up, by explaining the gospel and restoring the
__________________________ with words and physical affection.
(6) Qualifiers: three vital differences to grasp
There is a difference between discipline and
__________________________.
There is a difference between spanking and abuse. Never spank a child
when angry or out of control. If not done out of love, dont do it.
There is a difference between childishness and
__________________________.

V. EXPLORING THE BASEMENT: HOW TO REACH A CHILDS HEART WITH SIMPLE

DIAGNOSTIC QUESTIONS
1. Consider a building that has a basement with three stories on top. The goal is to
expose the deepest level (the root). But how?
2. Examples: fighting among siblings teenage back talk a relationship break up
receiving a poor grade losing a game loneliness and depression etc.
(1) Ask what happened?
(2) Ask how they are feeling?
(3) Ask about what deep desire is in their heart in this moment?
(4) Ask what they think Jesus would say to them in this moment?
(5) Ask what they might want or could do differently next time; or how their desires
reveal either sinful rebellion, personal insecurities, or legitimate desires that are
being affected by the fall?
3. This means that the skill of __________________________, rather than just telling, is
critical for fruitful parenting.
4. It also is crucial to provide a __________________________ environment for feelings,
emotions, questions and confessions to be expressed without condemnation.

VI. THE IMPORTANCE OF UNDERSTANDING THE THE PARENTING PYRAMID

Fewer rules / !
more freedom!

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Age

More rules / !
less freedom

More rules / !
less freedom!

vs.

Fewer rules /
more freedom

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VII. WHAT NOT TO DO
1. Do not play the __________________________.
2. Do not shame.
3. Do not exasperate.
4. Do not __________________________ for behavior (a reward for a skill is different).

VIII.THE POWER OF PARENTAL REPENTANCE

IX. THE IMPORTANCE OF THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP (What if Im a Single Parent?)

X. Q & A
My Questions & Reflections:
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