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Brin(in( )ut $our *ersonal #+ ellen e
,o matter what you do in life- doin( it well reaps (reat rewards. .hether this on ept is applied to your work or your health- your relationships or your personal (oalsmakin( a ommitment to personal e+ ellen e in whatever you do virtually (uarantees a life of fulfillment- su ess and passion.
.hat does e+ ellen e have to do with anythin(/ 0s with most thin(s in life- the results we e+perien e tend to be in proportion with the 1uality of effort we put forth. %f we (ive a halfhearted effort- we e+perien e minimal results. %f we (ive our absolute best- we always (et e+ ellent results 2even if they aren3t what we initially intended4. &ometimes the results are B#55#" than we e+pe ted.
$ou may wonder whether e+ ellen e really matters. 6an3t you do somethin( 7well enou(h8 and all it (ood/ $es- and that3s not always a bad thin( to do. $ou an still (et (ood results from (ood intentions and ade1uate efforts. But the 1uestion you need to ask yourself in every situation is- 70m % willin( to settle for 9(ood enou(h/38 %f not- you mi(ht want to han(e your approa h and learn to apply your own personal e+ ellen e to everythin( you do.
Believin( $ou 0re 6apable of :ore
)ne ommon reason people don3t (ive their best effort is be ause they don3t believe they are apable of more. ;oes this des ribe you/
0re you more fo used on (ettin( 1ui k results- even if they aren3t the best results/ ;o you think that if a task re1uires too mu h effort it won3t be worth it/ ;o you onsistently avoid workin( any harder than you have to/ ;o you believe that massive su ess is only for the truly talented and lu kyso there3s no point in (ivin( your best/
%f you3re like the avera(e person- you are probably apable of 2< times more than you have a hieved so far. 5hat3s at the minimum. %t3s probably hi(her than that.
;o you have trouble believin( that- or do you feel a twin(e in your (ut that onfirms the truth of that statement/
%f you really don3t believe you are apable of more- then you are already workin( at your ma+imum level of e+ ellen e. =owever- if you are willin( to >ust 6),&%;#" that you3re apable of more- you are in the ri(ht mind?set to han(e everythin(.
!irst- take a moment to think about your a
omplishments thus far- and be honest with
yourself about the thin(s you ould have done better. *erhaps you shied away from in reased responsibility at your >ob and (ot passed over for a promotion- or you (ave up on makin( your dream a reality be ause it seemed too diffi ult.
%n order to brin( out your personal e+ ellen e- you need to first a knowled(e that your present ir umstan es are due to the a tions you3ve taken so far- and more importantly the @U0'%5$ of effort you3ve put forth.
5his an be an un omfortable e+er ise be ause in a sense it means a knowled(in( that you are the ause of your own stunted pro(ress. =owever- only by knowin( with ertainty where you 0"# an you move on to somewhere B#55#".
%ma(ine you3re in a shoppin( mall- standin( before one of those maps that state7$ou are here.8 %f you know where you are you an easily map out a route to (et somewhere else.
%t3s important not to AU;G# yourself for your pro(ress 2or la k of4 up to this point. !eelin( badly about yourself a omplishes nothin(. 5he point is to (ain a lear understandin( of where you are- and fi(ure out where you want to (o. 0 knowled(e that you did the best you ould with the resour es you had- but now you are ready to do better.
!indin( &omethin( to Believe %n
#+ ellen e is not so mu h about .=05 you do- but how you do it. =owever- the more time you spend doin( thin(s that really matter to you- the more naturally you will brin( out your inner e+ ellen e.
.hat is important to you/ .hat do you live for/ .hat have you always wanted to do/ 0nswerin( these 1uestions will start you on an amaBin( >ourney of self?dis overy and (rowth.
)n e you know the a tivities that make your heart sin(- the point is then to do them often- and do them .#''. :aster them like you3ve never mastered anythin( before. 5hrow yourself into them and be ome onsumed by them.
.hen we do somethin( we feel e+tremely passionate about- we automati ally (ive the best of ourselves to the task. .e3re not fo usin( on anythin( but the present moment whi h means we are able to devote our full ener(y and attention to ,)..
,ot only do we end up en>oyin( ourselves to the fullest possible e+tent- we also lend that mu h more power to the end result. =alfhearted effort leads to lukewarm resultsbut fo used- passionate a tion brin(s forth powerful results.
.hen %t Aust =as to Be ;one
0s important as it is to follow your passions- we all have thin(s that simply must be done. .e3ve (ot >obs- family responsibilities- mundane hores- and all types of obli(ations.
%t3s easy to slip into a mind?set of drud(ery and do these thin(s with halfhearted effort- and mu h of the time we do >ust that. But what would happen if we be(an (ivin( them our full effort and attention/
!irst- we3d find ourselves feelin( more positive about these unpleasant tasks. "ather than feelin( annoyed or weary about them- we3d feel (ood about them. .e3d start fo usin( more on the B#,#!%5& reated by the work we do- rather than the work itself.
.e would also (ain a sense of personal mastery over everythin( we do. !rom errands to interpersonal relationships- ea h a tivity would feel like its own reward. 5he results (ained from these a tivities would simply be a ni e bonus C better or(aniBation- (reater fulfillment- deeper relationships- and more powerful results from pro>e ts.
%n (eneral- personal e+ ellen e reates a sense of inner pride about who we are and what we do. %t makes us feel more onfident- happier- and fo used.
6ommittin( to #+ ellen e
5he important thin( is to 6)::%5 to e+ ellen e with whatever you do. ;on3t lean out the (ara(e be ause you 7have to8. 6lean out the (ara(e as if it were the most important thin( you were doin( that day. 6lean it out as if a neat (ara(e was of utmost importan e in the (rand s heme of thin(s. 6lean it out as if you would rather be doin( nothin( else in the world.
.hy/ .hat does your attitude matter when leanin( out the (ara(e/ %f you approa h any task with a sense of boredom or (rud(in( obli(ation- a few thin(s will happen.
!irst- you won3t en>oy the pro ess at all. $our mind will be fo usin( only on 7(ettin( it done8 and you won3t be (ivin( your full attention to what you3re doin(. 6onse1uently- you end up missin( out on the en>oyment of the pro ess.
&e ondly- sin e you didn3t pay full attention to what you were doin(- your results will be less than stellar. 5he (ara(e mi(ht look 7okay8 and you mi(ht be fine with that. But wouldn3t 7(ood8 be better than 7okay8/ 0nd wouldn3t 7(reat8 be better than 7(ood8/
!inally- with a ho?hum attitude- you will also miss out on that (reat sense of a omplishment and satisfa tion that omes from a >ob well done.
*erhaps you think it doesn3t matter- that doin( a >ob for its own sake is fine and dandy. &ometimes that mi(ht be true. =owever- if you want to e+perien e (reater >oy and fulfillment in your life- it makes sense that you3d want to en>oy the thin(s you do- 0,; e+perien e better results from them.
5he only way to do that is to 6)::%5 fully to whatever you do. !o us your full attention to it and allow yourself to be immersed in the pro ess. Give it your absolute best effort and wat h how it dramati ally enhan es the resultD
%nvestin( in #very :ove $ou :ake
)ne (reat way to in rease your personal e+ ellen e is by hoosin( to see your effort as an %,E#&5:#,5 in the end result.
.hat is an investment/ %n a finan ial onte+t- it is money we allo ate 2to a fund or pro(ram4 with the intention to e+pand and (row it 2with interest or other (ains4 so we (et more money ba k.
=ow does this apply to a tions and e+ ellen e/ %f we see our every a tion as an investment- it means that we stand to (ain :)"# than we (ive.
%f we invest in our relationships by stren(thenin( ommuni ation and spendin( 1uality time with loved ones- our relationships (row and e+pand into meanin(ful onne tions that enri h our lives.
%f we invest in our areer by (ivin( our best effort- ontinuin( our edu ation and strivin( for lon(?term advan ement- we (ain more money- (reater >ob satisfa tion and more opportunities for su ess.
%f we invest in our personal (rowth and development- we (ain a (reater understandin( of ourselves- our aspirations- and our potential. %t3s e+a tly the same for everythin( you do- whether you3re workin( on your passions or your obli(ations.
.ould you want to have an operation done by a sur(eon that was only half payin( attention to what he or she was doin(/
.ould you want to be driven by a ta+i driver that was only half wat hin( the road/ .ould you want to eat a meal that was only half ooked by a hef/
Granted- most of the thin(s you do may not be as life alterin( as these e+amples. But why should your results be any less important/
,ever &ettlin( for 'ess
=ave you ever au(ht yourself settlin( for less/ *erhaps you had a bi( (oal in mind but you doubted your ability to a hieve it- so you set your si(hts a little lower.
%3m not referrin( to startin( small and (radually in reasin( your (oals as you (o alon(. 5hat3s a tually a (reat way to build your onfiden e and stret h the limit of what you believe is possible.
.hat %3m referrin( to is the person who dreams of bein( a best?sellin( novelist- but instead settles for a >ob writin( newspaper arti les be ause 7it pays the bills8. 5his person is not slowly workin( toward a lar(er (oalF he or she has (iven up on the lar(er (oal and settled for what he or she thinks is possible.
=ave you written off your bi( dream be ause it seems unattainable/ :aybe you still harbor a faint hope that 7some day8 you an have what you want- but you don3t have a plan in mind. =ave you simply settled be ause you don3t see any way to (et what you really want/
&ettlin( is really a self?prote tion me hanism. ,ot havin( what we want is dis omfortin(- so we find ways to rationaliBe it- whi h lessens the pain and disappointment. %nstead of fi(htin( for what we want- we settle into a state of resi(nation and numb defeat C before we even 5"$D
5hat3s the funny 2yet sad4 thin( about settlin( C we usually do it before even 5"$%,G to (et what we really want. .e simply onvin e ourselves it isn3t
possible and stow our dreams away in the shadowy re esses of our sub ons ious mind.
$et- no matter how hard you have tried to for(et your dreams- they still whisper to youdon3t they/ 5hey still haunt your dreams and fill you with envy when you see someone else doin( what you want to do.
*ay attention to those little whispers- be ause they hold an important messa(eG $ou are apable of a hievin( anythin( you want- and with su h a pervasive essen e of e+ ellen e that it would blow your mind if you ould see it now. $ou >ust have to believe it- and ommit to doin( it.
.hen it omes ri(ht down to it- brin(in( out your personal e+ ellen e "#@U%"#& you to stop settlin(. %t re1uires an open mind- a belief that what you want is entirely possible- and a willin(ness to demand nothin( less than e+ ellen e from yourself C no matter what you do.
6hara ter H %nte(rity
5wo ma>or omponents of your own personal e+ ellen e are hara ter and inte(rity.
6hara ter refers to the traits that determine who you are at a %nte(rity reveals the values you live your life by.
6hara ter is often said to be 7what you do when you think no one is wat hin(8. .hat a revealin( little statement that isD :ost of us have done thin(s we3re not proud ofF thin(s we hope don3t ome ba k to haunt us later. 5hese events usually take pla e in our youn(er years- when we3re still tryin( to fi(ure out who we are.
)n e we know who we are 2or de ide who we want to be4- we be(in to understand that we are lar(ely a produ t of our a tions. *ositive a tions make us a 7(ood person-8 and a valuable member of so iety. ,e(ative a tions reveal a ruel- selfish or undeveloped hara ter.
$our hara ter will dire tly affe t your personal e+ ellen e in powerful ways. =ow/ %f e+ ellen e is all about throwin( your whole self into whatever you do- shouldn3t your 7whole self8 be a person of (reat value/
"emember- your hara ter is determined by your a tions. %f you onsistently heatsteal and lie to others- your inner self is diminished and therefore lar(ely ineffe tive. )n the other hand- if you strive to serve others- ontribute somethin( of value to others and the world- your inner self will (row and e+pand into somethin( far more pervasive than you an ima(ine.
5=#, when you throw your whole self into whatever you do- you are throwin( a 7bi((er and better self8 into the pro ess- and your results will be that mu h more powerful. =ere3s how to build your hara ter in life? han(in( waysG
Be the best 7$)U8 you an be. ;on3t try to emulate others- but instead look within and brin( out the very best parts of yourself that are uni1ue and spe ial.
&tren(then and develop the best parts of yourself until they are all?pervasive. 'et them take over your personality- your work- your relationships C and every aspe t of your life. 'et them be ome the lar(est parts of yourself.
&hare the best parts of yourself with others. &hare your stren(th- your idealsyour vision- your power. Be willin( to show others who you truly are- and you will be ome a powerful ma(net for likeminded people.
!o us on what you an do for others- rather than what you stand to (ain from others. %roni ally- a fo us on (ivin( will also in rease the amount and ma(nitude of what you re eive. 0(ain- don3t fo us on that- >ust fo us on ontributin( immense value to other people- and the world in (eneral.
;o only that whi h you an be proud of. "emember- hara ter is revealed by what you do when you think no one is wat hin(. 0 (ood way to keep this in perspe tive is to ima(ine a hidden amera trained on you at all times. %f you would feel ashamed or (uilty about an a tivity you3re onsiderin( C it3s a sure bet that it will detra t from your hara ter rather than addin( to it.
5he Ealue of %nte(rity
%nte(rity is all about the values by whi h you live your life. 0 person of (reat hara ter usually has a stron( sense of inte(rity- while a person of ne(li(ible hara ter has less 2or no4 inte(rity.
.hat are these values/ !or the purposes of this report- value is defined as 7the relative worth or importan e of somethin(8. .hatever traits or hara teristi s you onsider to be very important or valuable are your personal 7values8. 6ommon values that you may holdG
!airness Iindness "espe t
%nte(rity is simply 0;=#"#,6# to your own ode of values. 5hat means bein( loyal to your own ideas of how thin(s should be in your world. %f honesty is one of your valuesyou would never dream of tryin( to heat someone. $ou simply wouldn3t be able to >ustify su h an a tion in your own mind. %f you did try to side?step your values- you3d feel so un omfortable that you wouldn3t be able to stand it. 5he (uilt and shame would eat at you until you did what you ould to make the situation ri(ht a(ain.
5ake a few moments ri(ht now and onsider your own values. .hat is very important to you re(ardin( your own behavior and the behavior of others/ .rite them down so you an e+plore them in (reater detail later. #ven if you don3t know why you feel stron(ly about a parti ular value- write it down anyway. 0s you e+plore your values- you3ll realiBe that their underlyin( auses an vary widely- and that3s okay. 5he main thin( is to understand why they are important to $)U.
$ou may be surprised to learn that many of your values were formed as a result of your past e+perien es. !or e+ample- you may have been heated or lied to by someone you trusted- and the e+perien e was so painful that you vowed never to do su h a thin( to someone else. Eoila- your value of honesty was born. %f you were verbally abused or belittled when you were a hild- you may now hold a value of kindness and ompassion for whomever you meet.
)n e you have your list of values- ompare them with your most ommon a tions. ;o you ever do thin(s that are in opposition to your values/ %f you do- you3ll 1ui kly understand why this limits your personal e+ ellen e. 5he feelin(s of (uilt- shame- fear and embarrassment will onsistently interfere with
everythin( you do and diminish any sense of satisfa tion you would have (ained from your a tivities.
$ou an also 1uestion and ad>ust your values as neededF espe ially if you formed values as a result of hildhood onditionin( that are not servin( you now. 0 (ood e+ample is the hild who is onditioned to believe that money is the root of all evil and selfless servi e is God?like behavior. 5his hild will likely (row into an adult who resists havin( any more money than ne essary- and stru((les finan ially all of her life. @uestionin( and hallen(in( 2and ultimately han(in(4 su h a value will reate a (reater sense of empowerment and purpose in her life- rather than blindly livin( by someone else3s values.
0 stri t adheren e to your values makes for an in redible e+perien e- provided they are values that serve your hi(hest (ood- and the hi(hest (ood of others. ,ot only are you able to feel (ood about your day?to?day a tions- you are able to keep (rowin( and developin( as a person. %n other words- e+pandin( your personal e+ ellen eD
#+ ellen e as :otivation
&trivin( for e+ ellen e in everythin( you do an motivate you in amaBin( ways. 6onsider the differen e between 7doin( somethin(8 and 7doin( somethin( better than you3ve ever done it before8. 6an you feel the differen e in ener(y in those two e+amples/
%53& 0'' 0B)U5 5=# 055%5U;#. %f you want to feel motivated and inspired about anythin(- simply hoose to strive for e+ ellen e. %mmediately you3ll find yourself standin( a little strai(hter- fo usin( a little more intently and feelin( ea(er to atta k the hallen(e before you.
#ven better- this mind?set an motivate you to hi(her and hi(her levels of attainmentand provide the determination to attempt bi((er pro>e ts that you mi(ht have avoided before.
!or e+ample- let3s say it3s &aturday mornin( and you are (oin( to do some yard work outside. $ou really don3t feel like doin( it- but you de ide to motivate yourself by strivin( for e+ ellen e. $ou fo us on makin( perfe tly symmetri swipes on the lawn with the mower- (leefully atta k the shrubs with the lippers- and ed(e the driveway and sidewalk as if your life depended on neatness and pre ision. 0 (lan e at your wat h reveals that you were so en(rossed in what you were doin( that time seemed to fly by and you were finished in no time at all.
$ou now feel so (reat about your a omplishment that you de ide to lean out the (utters and repair part of the roof on your house. 5hose pro>e ts also (o well- and sin e you3re feelin( so (ood about them- you de ide to wash your ar and va uum the inside.
% ould (o on- but you (et the idea. 0t the be(innin( of this little e+ample- you were feelin( less than enthusiasti about doin( some simple yard work. 2%ma(ine how resistant you would have been to doin( the yard work- (utters- roof- 0,; leanin( the arD4
=owever- >ust a simple shift in attitude ? the intention to strive for e+ ellen e C serves as a powerful motivator. 5his same on ept an apply to your work- your (oals- your personal (rowth- or any other area of your life.
#+ ellen e is often onta(ious- and your ommitment to e+ ellen e an motivate others in your life. 5his is espe ially true if you are a leader or oa h-
either in your personal or business life. %f you strive for e+ ellen e- so will your team members or employees. 6onversely- if you demand e+ ellen e from others but don3t strive for it yourself- you will see little benefit. ,othin( reates resentment like an attitude of- 7;o what % say- not what % do.8
5ryin( to for e someone to brin( out their personal e+ ellen e is rarely effe tive. %nstead- let your own a tions be the inspiration. 0s people noti e your ommitment to e+ ellen e in whatever you do- they3ll also feel inspired to (ive their best effort.
=ere are some additional ways to inspire e+ ellen e in othersG
Use positive reinfor ement. .hen your team member 2or employee- family member- hild- et .4 shows a ommitment to e+ ellen e- omment on itD &ay somethin( like- 7% admire the way you pay su h lose attention to detail.8 )r7$ou3re really (ood at or(aniBationF it makes my life a lot easier.8 Aust mentionin( your appre iation is enou(h to make them want to ontinue doin( a (ood >ob.
6reate an atmosphere of ooperation. 'et your team members know that you onsider yourself part of the team- not >ust the head of it. &tress the value that ea h person brin(s to the (roup ob>e tive and the importan e of workin( to(ether. 'et them know that you3re available to help- or simply serve as a soundin( board for ideas and problems.
#n oura(e them to do better. Aust like you o
asionally believe you are only
apable of so mu h- other people an also (et au(ht up in self?limitations. $ou an make it your mission to help them see their (reater potential- and en oura(e them to try a bit harder in everythin( they do. 5his an be tri ky to do without soundin( like you3re riti iBin(- but by
fo usin( more on the positive and e+pressin( your belief in them- you3ll be able to (et the point a ross.
.hen it omes ri(ht down to it- you have little ontrol over what others do. %f a person does not want to be motivated or brin( out their personal e+ ellen e- no amount of oa+in( from you will han(e that. %n that ase- you an only do what % des ribed earlier C let your own a tions serve as an e+ample. 0s mu h as you3d like to see e+ ellen e in others- your real >ob is to see C and foster C it in yourself.
:otivation from )thers
$ou an also seek motivation from others by readin( about or observin( those who strive for e+ ellen e in everythin( they do. 5hese people are easy to spot be ause they are usually very su essful and motivated. 5hey seem to have no shorta(e of ener(y and enthusiasm- and live their lives with a 7 an?do8 attitude.
.at h these people- and you3ll be(in to noti e that they follow ertain behaviors whi h you an then in orporate into your own a tivities. 0 few e+amplesG
5hey fo us on one thin( at a time until they master it. )nly when a person rea hes a ertain level of onfiden e and ompeten e are they able to >u((le a lot of ob>e tives simultaneously. Before that- they usually learn the importan e of narrowin( in on one area and sti kin( with it until they master it.
5hey refuse to onsider anythin( a 7failure8. %nstead- they simply dis over one more way that didn3t work- and use that knowled(e to try
somethin( else. $ou won3t see them mopin( around- over ome by frustration. 5hey roll up their sleeves and keep at it until they (et the results they want.
5hey refuse to settle for medio rity. 5hey won3t a ept 7(ood enou(h-8 and instead keep workin( on it until it3s as lose to perfe t as possible.
5hey understand that there3s no su h thin( as perfe tion. 5his seems to ontradi t the previous point above- but it doesn3t. &omewhere between medio rity and perfe tionism lies a point of larity when you know you3ve done your very best and you need to let (o. 5his takes some introspe tion- but the more you strive for that keen awareness- the easier it (ets.
.hat other hara teristi s of e+ ellen e an you think of/ .rite them below and be(in in ludin( them in your daily habitsG
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:ovin( )ut of the 9=ood
0re you familiar with a little pla e alled 7Ei tim?hood8/ %t seems like an attra tive pla e to live- at first (lan e. ,o one blames you for anythin( when you live in Ei tim?hood- and there are plenty of ni e people to e+press
sympathy for your troubles. 5hey don3t e+pe t you to do mu h for yourself be ause after all- life is really hardD 25hey should knowF they live there too.4 %nstead- you an snu((le down for a ni e lon( stay and let the brave fa e the hallen(es that you don3t want to fa e.
5he problem is that on e you move into Ei tim?hood- it3s diffi ult to (et out. #+ uses (row as lar(e as trees and blo k your path- and fear lurks ominously beyond the 9hood limits. )ut there somewhere is a s ary thin( alled "esponsibility- and you know you3ll need to shoulder some if you want to move out of the 9hood. But in order to (et it- you need to build up your oura(e and travel away from the omfort and se urity of the familiar.
;oes the above des ription sound a little sar asti to you/ ;oes it sound like %3m pi kin( on vi tims/ ;on3t be offended be ause %3ve spent my fair share of time in Ei tim?hood too. 2&ometimes % still take a day trip there to visit with old friends.4 % think most people have at least a mild familiarity with the pla e.
%t3s really easy to feel that the universe is pi kin( on us sometimes. .e see other people that seem to have it so easy. 5hey3re drivin( around in fan y ars- makin( tons of money- livin( the hi(h life- while we stru((le to make even the sli(htest pro(ress. )ur hallen(es always seem to be so mu h bi((er than everyone else3s don3t they/
5hat3s the problemG our *#"6#*5%), of our hallen(es. .e feel diminished or defeated before we even (et started.
Brin(in( out your personal e+ ellen e is dependent upon lettin( (o of your vi tim mind?set. "ather than tryin( to wish away your hallen(es and obsta les- #K6#' %, &*%5# )! 5=#:. 6han(e your per eption from- 7.hy is this happenin( to me/8 to 7=ow an % (et throu(h this most effe tively/8
Aust that ),# han(e an make su h a dramati differen e in your attitude. $ou will naturally tap into an inner power that an propel you throu(h 0,$ obsta le or hallen(e without a sin(le stumble or fall.
$our *ersonal #+ ellen e is the #ssen e of $)U
*ersonal e+ ellen e isn3t an e+ternal trait or 1uality that you an adopt. %t doesn3t ome from outside of you- it omes from within you. %t %& $)U. #+ ellen e is the very essen e of who you are.
%t is a pro ess of dis overin( who you are and learnin( to be that person as effe tively and sin erely as you an- in every moment of your life.
$ou don3t have to for e the pro ess to happen- but simply '#5 it happen. Understand what makes you uni1ue and valuable- and let those 1ualities shine. &tay in the present moment as often as possible- and (ive your best to ea h situation.
%f you an do these thin(s- you will automati ally en oura(e your inner e+ ellen e to shine throu(h and illuminate everythin( you say and do. %ain 'e(( www .$our%nstant&u
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