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life coaching you

you CAN change your life

11 steps to success

your guide to achieving your full life potential

- Alan Wilson, Founder of Life Coaching You

Copyright Life Coaching You 2003, 2004, 2005 www.lifecoachingyou.co.uk

life coaching you
you CAN change your life

You CAN change your life
Welcome to your path towards changing your life. You’ve got this far, so we know there’s a part of your life you want to change. If the change were easy, you’d have done it by now. However provided you are prepared to stick with it, this workbook will help you overcome the difficulties and create a better life for yourself. You may need to consider changing your current habits and look at creating new ones. After all, if you keep doing what you’re doing - you’ll just keep getting what you’re getting now! Just by committing to making one small improvement each day can make all the difference. It can be as easy as that. In reality it is not always easy, so if you seriously want to make a change in your life and are ready to work at it, then let’s start to get you on the path to success.

Step 1 Preparation Before you start each exercise in this course get into an energised and positive frame of mind to get yourself motivated. Think about what makes you feel good and do it for a few minutes! I take a brisk walk I play some music loudly and sing along to it I stand up and have a big stretch I jump up and down ten times I stand outside and take some deep breaths of fresh air I think of something you enjoy and breathe deeply I think about the best your life could be - where are you? what are you doing? who are you with? etc

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life coaching you
you CAN change your life

Step 2 Don’t fall into the trap of just looking at what’s wrong or what you feel you don’t do well. Start noticing - and take time to reflect on - what you do well. Go one step further and make a list to keep near you as a reminder. This can provide a great boost to your confidence and self-esteem which really can help you to push through barriers and move you forward towards what you want. So, are you ready to make a commitment to yourself and start creating a life that you love? What I do well

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life coaching you
you CAN change your life

Step 3 Do eliminate the word ‘failure’ from your vocabulary - it can be quite a liberating experience! Starting thinking of failure as just a different outcome or result to what you had expected. Some of your greatest learnings will come from these different outcomes so don’t deny or ignore them. Rather, celebrate the experience and the learning you have gained. Also make a note of what’s good in your life right now. We can sometimes be so focused on what’s not good that not only can we miss valuable opportunities but we miss the good stuff that’s actually happening around us! What’s good in my life now

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life coaching you
you CAN change your life

Step 4 This Wheel of Life exercise will help you to put some priorities in order and also to look closely at your life at the moment.

In the centre section of the wheel below write the eight areas of your life that are most important to you. For example money, health and vitality, physical environment, family, children, friends, partner, fun and recreation, personal development/growth, quality time children/partner, emotional well being, social life, spiritual life etc. If you need to you can add more segments. Can you think of three more areas specifically for you? Give each section a score of between 1-10 as to how you feel about that part of your life right now. For instance 1 is the lowest and might be rated ‘catastrophic’ and 10 is the highest and might be rated ‘fantastic’. For example: Business - 6 Health - 6

Money - 2 Fun - 3

Family - 5 Personal development - 8

Partner - 1 Spiritual - 8

In the middle section of the wheel write one thing that would greatly enhance this particular area. Think about what would make it a 10 or if you’ve got a score of 10 already, what would make it even better! For example: Family - arrange more regular meetings Health - do more regular exercises

In the outer section of the wheel write one thing that you could do right now that would improve this area of your life. For example: Family – invite them for Christmas dinner Health – join a health club

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life coaching you
you CAN change your life

Example Wheel of Life

o hem t ite t dinner Inv mas rist e Ch mor ge tings ran mee Arular reg

al rsonment Spirit e ua P elop v

l

sines u B

s

Mon ey

6

2

mily Fa

8

5

Pa r t n er

1

8

de

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h club ealt ah in Jo ular e reg mor cises Do exer

alth He
6

6

3
Fun

life coaching you
you CAN change your life

Your Wheel of Life

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life coaching you
you CAN change your life

Step 5 Dream time! Spend at least 10 minutes thinking about and filling in the following section. Let your imagination run away with you and write down everything in your wildest dreams. Assume no limits of time or money. Everything I want to do Everything I want to have Everything I want to be

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life coaching you
you CAN change your life

Step 6 What’s important Pick the six things you want most from the three lists and write them below (do not worry about the order or priority). Under each ‘want’ briefly write how if you had it now it would improve your life. No 1 Want How will it improve my life?

2

Want How will it improve my life?

3

Want How will it improve my life?

4

Want How will it improve my life?

5

Want How will it improve my life?

6

Want How will it improve my life?

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life coaching you
you CAN change your life

Step 7 More Clarity Transfer your ‘wants’ list onto this sheet and referring back to Your Wheel of Life, ask yourself if you had this ‘want’ would it improve the individual sections of your life?. For EACH section that you consider it will improve your life, give it a point in the Score box. Repeat this exercise for nos. 2-6. Finally, count up the scores for each of the chosen six ‘wants’. You may find that 2 or even 3 score the same, or there may be one thing that’s way above everything else. Focusing your attention and effort on the highest scoring topic(s) will have the greatest positive impact on your life as a whole and is a great place to start making some changes!

Wants 1 2 3 4 5 6

Score

Total

Choose one area to work on initially, then you need to create a SMART goal.

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life coaching you
you CAN change your life

Step 8 SMART goals A word about SMART goals Some people do not rate SMART goals and that is usually because they do not work through the goal to ensure that all elements are included and are accurate and concise. I can assure you that if you work 100% within the following criteria, you will be successful - I guarantee it! S M A R T is an acronym for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Tangible/Timed. Your goals need to contain all of these elements to make them valuable and enable you to make progress and achieve. So let’s go through each of them in turn. Specific - A specific goal has a much greater chance of being accomplished than a general goal. To set a specific goal you must answer the following questions: Who: What: Where: When: Who is involved? It must only involve you. What do I want to accomplish? Where will I be? When do I want it by? If it’s a big goal, does it need to be broken down in steps? Which: Why: Which things will help me and which will hold me back? Why do I want this? (be specific!) What will I see, hear, feel when I have achieved my goal? Example: A general goal would be, ‘get in shape’ but a specific goal would be ‘lose 10lbs within 30 days and be able to run for 10 minutes at the gym’.

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life coaching you
you CAN change your life

Measurable - When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to the continued effort required to reach your goal. Ask yourself ‘How will I know when I’ve achieved it?’ and write it down. Achievable - When you identify the goals that are most important to you, you start to find ways to make them come true. You also begin to develop the attitudes, abilities and skills to reach them. In addition you will start to notice previously overlooked opportunities which can bring you closer to achieving your goals. Some questions that can help are: 1 What could I do to move yourself one step forward? 2 What would I be doing if: I were not answerable to anyone? I had all the money in the world? I could devote all your time to this? 3 What could I do if I did not have to live with the consequences? 4 If I secretly knew what I should do first, what would it be? 5 Review options carefully - does this spark another idea? Choose one option that will move you forward. It can be the easiest, cheapest, quickest. Confirm that it will move you forward. What will the benefit be? Identify it and write it down. Goals that you may once have thought would never happen move closer and become attainable. This is not because your goals shrink but because you grow and expand to match them - when you list your goals you build your self-image.

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life coaching you
you CAN change your life

Realistic - To be realistic, a goal must be something which you are both willing and able to work towards. A goal can be both high and realistic; you are the only one who can decide just how high your goal should be. But be sure that every goal represents substantial progress. Tangible/Timed - A goal is tangible when you can experience it with one of the senses. In your mind, can you see a picture of it, hear someone congratulating you on achieving it, taste the success, or smell something new? If you can, you have a better chance of making it specific and measurable and thus attainable. (Timed has been covered under ‘Specific’) Goals lead to success! You may be interested in some research carried out by Yale University which proved that 3% of graduates were worth more after a period of 20 years than the other 97% put together! These 3% also had better health and enjoyed better relationships. So what did they have that the other 97% didn’t? Parental wealth, better degrees, better careers, different gender or ethnic origin? No. The 3% had written goals. My goal is to

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life coaching you
you CAN change your life

Step 9 Challenge your goal Any goal that is worthwhile has to be a challenge. Could you review your goal and increase it by a value of about 10%? My revised goal is

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life coaching you
you CAN change your life

Step 10 Rate your goal and commit By now, you should be raring to get going with your new goal. But before you do, stop and ask yourself if this is what you really want and give it a score of between 1-10 (1 being that you're not bothered either way and 10 being a must have). If you're not scoring at least a 9 then you need to go back a few steps and find a goal that you really do want, or to consider how you can retain the basis of the goal but increase the score of achieving it to a 10. To make way for this goal it sometimes helps to review your time commitment. But remember, it's no good cheating yourself, because that is probably what stopped you achieving what you wanted in the past. I (name) My goal is to rate my goal a 10.

Signed

Date

On completion of your goal - you must remember to celebrate your achievement. This is the best part. Be good to yourself. Enjoy your success and celebrate in a special way. During your celebration take some time to think back on what you have achieved. Write down everything you saw, heard and felt when you were successful - and keep it near you to remind yourself. If you do not use a journal, now is a good time to start one .

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life coaching you
you CAN change your life

Step 11 You are on a roll Make the most of this euphoric period by going back to Step 7 and looking at the second highest topic. Before creating the next SMART goal you will need to review the scoring process to ensure that it is still the same as it was now you are in your new situation. Having successfully made one large improvement in your life, you are now ready to go on and achieve your full life potential. It will help you if you write down your goals every day and revise them accordingly. Good luck. If you get time, please let me know how it’s going. Having successfully achieved your goal of getting into the right frame of mind, you can now move onto the next phase of changing your life. “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” Joseph Campbell

I do hope you have enjoyed your experience, made some progress in your own empowerment and I wish you every success in the future. If you did enjoy it, please tell your friends. If you haven't, please tell me. If you are stuck or would like any help breaking through a barrier, please call me on 0845 644 2400 (local call rate) for a collaborative discussion. Thanks Alan PS There is a great deal of information and free resources at: www.lifecoachingyou.co.uk

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Alan Wilson - Founder
Alan Wilson began his career in the advertising and marketing industry over thirty years ago and has a proven track record of achievement. He created a very successful group of companies in differentiating his clients in the competitive business to business arena. Alan has been married twice and has three children, Toby - 25, Holly - 23 and Cassy - 12. Humbled, Moving Forward Following a meeting with a Life Coach, his passion for helping people to achieve their potential was ignited. His own life coaching training followed and he describes this experience as 'humbling and exciting'. To further enhance his skills to create self empowerment, he has trained in principle based psychology, parent coaching, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and complimentary therapies. Alan is now committed to a life-long quest of personal development and growth. Playing it Forward He uses his expertise in principle based psychology, life coaching, neuro linguistic programming and complimentary therapies to help people break free from their personal and business limitations and find their own empowerment. In addition to writing programmes, an ebook, ecourse, running training courses, workshops and teleclasses. Alan’s biggest challenge so far is creating a programme to bring children and families together. One parent said 'I've tried all sorts of therapies and counselling and I don't know how you have done it but, you have shown me a chink of light in the black hole. I never thought I could ever be happy and you have given me faith in myself' and another, 'I learnt that I'm not a fat, ugly, wicked, ice queen or a traitor. I am a loyal, caring, loving woman who is learning to trust again and it feels fantastic'. Specialist programmes He has written courses for delivery by other professionals - life coaches, youth workers, teachers, child development specialists, etc. Some additional applications have been Train the Trainer, Train the Teacher and a special course for foster carers and their children. He is also currently working to develop an accredited course with the Kent County Council for this latter group, for incorporation into their training. With his expertise and specialist knowledge, he is in much demand by other life coaches and he has recently undertaken to write a course on parent coaching for inclusion on the website of Fiona Harrold 'the country's top life coach' - Daily Mail.

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Some Case Histories
James I first met James (name change) when he came out of hospital after a burst ulcer. Sadly he was also diagnosed HIV positive and had no will to live. His brother recommended me to him and I promised to help in whatever way I could. What a challenge! Our first appointment lasted well over two hours. There were lots of things James wanted to do but he hadn’t focussed on them before or believed they were achievable. As we spoke he told me he wanted to get to grips with his computer, explore his interest in the arts and somehow wanted to do something about his deep-rooted desire to help other people. Using a couple of life coaching tools we were able to set some goals for him so that he had something to work towards. During the following months he made excellent progress on all his goals. He took himself out of his immediate environment and away from his insular outlook, started a computer course, joined a study group on the history of art, researched some holistic therapies and even started to think about going back to work. Sounds remarkable? He thought so too - and so did his brother!

June June (name change) is a successful saleslady but was unable to have the relationship she wanted with her husband. She also found herself being drawn into an affair. For a couple of months we worked together to identify what she really wanted from her life, her work and her husband. She decided what it would take to enable her to create an environment where her husband would value her as an individual again. And - guess what - they went off for a second honeymoon together! I didn’t ask her any details but she looked very happy when she came back!

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Some Testimonials
“You don’t have to know what you want to do in your life to have life coaching but I believe it certainly helps you get there!” “Alan helped me greatly in getting me to start practising what I preach on a daily basis.” “I can now see a path towards resolving some of my future objectives.” John Whiting, Managing Director, Whiting Group Adrian Mole, Professional Tennis Coach Natasha Smith, Interior Designer

“In quite a short space of time you have helped me to sort the wheat from the chaff and focus on the important issues in my personal and business life.” “I have been so impressed he is going to work with all my staff, I can’t wait to see the results.” Diane Graham, Club Manage, Dragons Health and Fitness Club “His constant enthusiasm and regular communication has, no doubt, helped me to make some very positive fundamental changes.” “He started to coach me and out of this has sprung an exciting opportunity to introduce his approach into the school curriculum.” Derek Handy, Headteacher, Palace Wood Junior School Michael S Low, Tai Chi Master Tim Levey, Partner, Reeves Neylan

“Alan’s professional and relaxed manner is a blend of skills that works for me and belies the results.” Ian Longstaff, Customer Services Manager, Sprint Telecommunications “Alan’s versatile methods have exceeded my expectations and enhanced my life no end. I feel a real winner.” “His insightful comment and probing questions allowed me to uncover my true motivation and create an empowering vision for my life.” Clive Honess, Consultant, Euphony Communications Helen Anastassiou, Homemaker

“Alan has motivated me to work towards achieving my goals. I knew what I wanted to do, but he just pushed me in the right direction.” Emma Wood, Receptionist

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