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9 TEVES, 5774 • DEC 12, 2013

Question: For us who didn't grow up with the Rebbe, how can we relate? - A Bochur In Zal

Answer: We were just talking about what it means to say Kaddish or Yizkor. It’s a strange thing that when a person dies, his children sit around discussing very seriously, “What would papa want? Should we make this funeral, that funeral? Should we build this building, build that? What would Papa want?!” And you know some of those people, and you know for a fact that as long as Papa was alive they couldn't care less what Papa wanted. Whatever he wanted, they disagreed. Now the poor guy dies, and all of a sudden his children are so serious about it. “Oh no, Papa wouldn't want that! No, Papa wants this!” Wow, he has great kids. Ya, now that he’s dead! But why does that happen? It’s very common. The reason it happens is because when the person is here B’gashmius, you don’t look any deeper to who he really is. When a person passes away, the only thing you can look at is the real him because the Gashmiusd'ke him is not here. So what is the real him? What he believed, what he wanted, what his life was about. That’s the real him. So now they've become!good!children to their father, much better than they were when he was alive.! So when a person passes away, you don’t lose that person. On the contrary, ! then ! you get to know who he really is. When the Rebbe was here physically, you could get distracted. On Sunday you got on a line, you got a dollar, you went home. And you’re happy. I was by the Rebbe, got a dollar, it’s a good day. What’s a Rebbe? What does he want? What does he stand for? What does he expect from you? I don’t know, I got a dollar.! Today, this question itself shows that we are closer to the Rebbe than before. Today you have only one choice. Focus directly at what the Rebbe really stood for- at what the Rebbe wants, at what the Rebbe believed, what the Rebbe tried to accomplish. There are no distractions. You can’t run in for ! Sunday ! and get a dollar and feel like you’re a Chossid. You can’t. So we have no choice but to be real Chassidim. How are you a real Chossid? If what the Rebbe wants becomes ! your ! want, that, that’s a real Hiskashrus. I’ll give

you an example. A Shliach goes out on Shlichus, and the people in the town ask him, “Why’d you come here?” He can say, “Well, I am a Lubavitcher Chossid, the Rebbe said that we should go on Shlichus because the Rebbe cares about all Jews, so here I am. I’m here because the Rebbe believes in Shlichus.” Or you could say, “I am here because a Jew should devote his life to helping other Jews. I can’t think of a better way to live. What else should I do - sell shoes?!”! Which answer is better? Which answer shows a greater Hiskashrus? In the first answer, the Shliach is talking about the Rebbe. In the second answer, he doesn't mention the Rebbe. Which one is real Hiskashrus?! In the first case, the Shliach is saying the Rebbe believes in Shlichus, it’s the Rebbe’s thing. The second Shliach is saying, “The Rebbe’s thing is my thing. I’m excited about Shlichus; I can’t imagine living a di!erent life than this. What could possibly be better than doing this?” So who’s more Mekusher? And the same thing is true with Mivtzoim. You go on Mivtzoim and the person says, “Why? Why do you do this?” And you say, “Well the Rebbe told me to.” That’s nice. Is that what they want to hear? They want to hear that the Rebbe convinced me that this is the best way to spend an hour. But are you convinced, or are you doing the Rebbe a favor. A Chossid has to be a little piece of a Rebbe, not that I’m doing the Rebbe a favor. Shmuel Lew came up with a beautiful insight. You know the picture on the side of the museum? You know how that works? You take a bunch of little pictures, but from far you see one face. So when the Shluchim were taking the group photo in front of 770, Shmuel Lew said, “it looks like we are taking a picture of Shluchim, but if you stand from far you see the Rebbe!”! That’s what Shluchim are. Not a bunch of people who run around doing the Rebbe a favor. Everyone is a little piece of Rebbe. You put all these pictures together… Transcribed excerpt from “ULY Zal Shiur Daled Class 2” an open forum discussion with Rabbi Manis Friedman and ULY Zal, full audio available on