MARRIAGE

RELATED INDEX TOPICS: Affection, Appreciation, Children, Divorce, Love, Parents, Sex, Unity, Women, Jealousy. 1. At her Golden Wedding celebration, my grandmother told guests the secret of her happy marriage: "On my wedding day. I decided to make a list of ten of my husband's faults which, for the sake of our marriage, I would overlook." As the guests were leaving, a young matron whose marriage had recently been in difficulty asked my grandmother what some of the faults were that she had seen fit to overlook. Grandmother said, "To tell you the truth, my dear, I never did get around to listing them. But whenever my husband did something that made me hopping mad, I would say to myself, "Lucky for him that's one of the ten!" 2. "I could marry any girl I please," said the young man, "but I don't please any." 3. "If you are for pleasure, marry; if you prize rosy health, marry. A good wife is heaven's last best gift to a man; his angel of mercy; minister of graces innumerable; his gem of many virtues; his box of jewels; her voice, his sweetest music; her smiles, his brightest day; her kiss, the guardian of innocence; her arms, the pale of his safety; her industry, his surest wealth; her economy, his safest steward; her lips, his faithful counsellors; her bosom, the softest pillow of his cares; and her prayers, the ablest advocates of Heaven's blessing on his head." 4. A bachelor is a man who can have a girl on his knees without having her on his hands. 5. At Graham, North Carolina, Magistrate Charles W. Jones performed a marriage ceremony. When the splicing had been duly accomplished, the bridegroom asked the judge what the fee was. "Oh," responded His Honor, "Whatever you think it's worth." The bridegroom dug into his pocket and solemnly handed the judge a quarter. His Honor blinked once or twice. Then, just as solemnly, he dug into his own pocket and gave the bridegroom fifteen cents in change. 6. Two young men, married about a year, were discussing their various marital problems. "I'm the head of my house," said one, "I think I should be; after all, I earn the money." "Well," said the other, "my wife and I have a perfect agreement. I decide all the major matters and she takes care of all minor matters." "And how is that working out?"

Somewhat ruefully the other replied, "Well, so far, no major matters have come up." 7. Why divorce? What is needed is not a change of partners but a change in partners. 8. Franklin C. Bailey of Los Angeles is in charge of what he calls "the busiest repair shop in town," and adds that "just around the corner is the busiest wrecking business." The repair shop is the marriage counseling service he runs as counselor of the Conciliation Court of Los Angeles. The wrecking business around the corner is the divorce court. Mr. Bailey lists as the major complaints from the 10,000 people who have passed through his office, in this order: sex, money, children, and trouble with in-laws. But he says that the real problems are selfishness and greed. 9. The best way to compliment your wife is frequently. 10. O FATHER all creating, Whose wisdom, love, and power First bound two lives together In Eden's early hour, To-day, to these Thy children Thine earliest gifts renew,A home by Thee made happy, A love by Thee kept true. O SAVIOUR, Guest most bounteous Of old in Galilee, Please manifest today Thy Presence With these who call on Thee; Their store of earthly gladness Transform to Heavenly wine, And teach them, in the tasting, To know the gift is Thine. O SPIRIT of the FATHER, Breathe on them from above, So mighty in Thy pureness, So tender in Thy love; That guarded by Thy Presence, From sin and strife kept free, Their lives may own Thy guidance, Their hearts be ruled by Thee. Except Thou build it, FATHER, The house is built in vain; Except Thou, SAVIOUR, bless it, The joy will turn to pain; But nought can break the marriage Of hearts in Thee made one, And love Thy SPIRIT hallows Is endless love begun. Amen. --Rev. J. Ellerton (1826-1893) 11. As God by creation made two of one, so again by marriage he made one of two. 12. A Mormon acquaintance once inveigled Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After he had been beaten about the ears with long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the climax was capped by the Mormon's demand that he cite any passage of Scripture expressly forbidding

polygamy. "Nothing easier," Mark replied. "'No man can serve two masters.'" 13. Don't look around for a life partner, look up. Any other choice than God's will means disaster. 14. Never be yoked to one who refuses the yoke of Christ. 15. A good woman inspires a man. A brilliant woman interests a man. A beautiful woman fascinates a man. But it's the sympathetic woman who gets him. 16. How soon marriage counseling sessions would end if husbands & wives were competing in thoughtful self-denial! 17. Successful marriage is always a triangle: a man, a woman & God. 18. God did not create woman to be a competitor but to be a companion. 19. More golden wedding anniversaries would be celebrated if more couples practiced the Golden Rule. 20. The husband who boasts that he never made a mistake has a wife who did. 21. A husband is never as good as his wife thought he was before marriage, & never as bad as she thinks him to be after marriage. 22. Love makes a man think almost as much of a woman as he thinks of himself. 23. You know a woman is in love with her husband if she smiles at him the way she does at a traffic cop. 24. Some of a man's most profitable words are those spent praising his wife. 25. Love intoxicates a man; marriage often sobers him. 26. "I feel very strongly on this subject and must deal severely with you," began the judge, in his address to Sam, who was in court on a charge of wife desertion. "But, Boss, you don't understand," protested the Negro. "You don't know my old woman. I ain't no deserter. I'se a refugee!" 27.There is entirely too much worrying about unhappy marriages. All marriages are happy. It's only living together afterward that causes the trouble. 28. Love is a condition of the mind at a time when the mind is out of condition. 29. Treat a dog with kindness, pet him often, feed him well, & he'll never leave you. The same system usually works with husbands. 30. Never part without loving words. They might be your last. 31. When a woman rules the marriage roost, she is sitting on the wrong perch! 32. A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. 33. First man must choose his love, & then he must love his choice. 34. Divorce tells us the truth about man. It tells us nothing about marriage.

35. Most men need two women in their lives--a secretary to take everything down, & a wife to pick everything up. 36. If you want your wife to listen to what you have to say, talk in your sleep. 37. What marriage needs is more open minds & fewer open mouths. 38. A marriage may be a holy wedlock or an unholy deadlock. 39. Fewer marriages would skid if more who said "I do" did. 40. Making marriage work is like operating a farm. You have to start all over again each morning. 41. Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning handsprings, or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy till you try. 42. A good wife laughs at her husband's jokes, not because they are clever, but because she is. 43. There would be fewer divorces if the husband tried as hard to keep his wife as he did to get her. 44. Faith is better company than imagination for the wife whose husband fails to come home on time. 45. When a husband says he can't do something due to circumstances beyond his control, he means his wife won't let him. 46. Husbands are like wood fires. When unattended they go out. 47. A wise husband not only allows his wife to get in the last word, he's relieved when she finally gets it in. 48. A husband wishes he had as much fun when he's out as his wife thinks he does. 49. Technically, the husband is the head of the house, but the technicality is often overruled. 50. An ideal husband is one who treats his wife with the same consideration as his pretty secretary. 51. Getting a husband is like buying a house. You don't see it the way it is, but the way you think it's going to be when you get it remodeled. 52. Advice on holding a husband: Treat him as you would any other pet--three meals a day, plenty of affection, & a loose leash. 53. Many a henpecked husband feels like his birthstone is the grindstone. 54. When a woman laughs at her husband's jokes, either they're good jokes or she's a good wife. 55. Husbands lay down the law, but wives usually repeal it. 56. A husband knows his wife loves him when she returns a dress he can't afford. 57. A timid man said to his wife, "We're not going out tonight & that's semifinal." 58. Two Texas political candidates were having a heated debate. One shouted, "What about the

powerful interests that control you?" The other screamed back, "You leave my wife out of this!" 59. A young man spends at least twelve years in school learning the English language, then becomes a husband & never gets a chance to use it. 60. All men make mistakes--husbands just find out about them sooner. 61. When a wise man argues with a woman, he says nothing! 62. If more husbands had self-starters, fewer wives would have to be cranks. 63. You can send your marriage to an early grave with a series of little digs. 64. A diplomatic husband said to his wife, "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?" 65. You can bear your own faults, why not a fault in your wife?--Benjamin Franklin 66. Why are husbands & wives more courteous to strangers than to each other? 67. Her husband is a real diplomat. He always remembers her birthday, but forgets what her age is. 68. Getting engaged is: An urge on the verge of a merge. 69. Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first. 70. Congratulations to the husband who uncomplainingly observed that his wife's constant chattering is just one of "life's little ear-itations." 71. The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together. 72. Solnit, Professor of Pediatrics & Psychiatry, said, "If we were living in a world governed by children's wishes, there would be no divorce." 73. When the newlywed husband came home from work one day he found his wife crying. She said, "Honey, I baked you a cake today but it was so bad I had to feed it to the dog!" "That's okay, Honey", said the husband, "I'll buy you a new dog!"--Dad 74. The newlywed husband was telling his friend, "I know my wife loves me, because every day she sets before me three burnt offerings--breakfast, lunch & dinner!"--Dad 75. A man said about his wife: "I know she's an angel because she's always harping on something, she's always up in the air over something, & she never has an earthly thing to wear!"--Dad 76. Then there's the one about the man who made his wife promise that she would never kiss another man, so all of her lovers wondered why she wouldn't kiss them!--Dad 77. She's an angel in truth, a demon in fiction, A woman's the greatest of all contradiction; She's afraid of a cockroach, scared to death of a mouse, But she'll tackle a husband as big as a house. She's faithful, mysterious, keen-insighted and blind; She's crafty, she's simple, she's sweet & she's kind. She can lift a man up, or cast a man down. She can make him a prince or make him a clown. You'll fancy she's this, but you'll find she is that;

For she's kind as a kitten but wise as a cat! 78. God intended for you to get married young when the metal is white hot & most fluid & liquid & malleable & when you could most easily get used to each other & adjust yourself to living with each other. 79. If there's any decision which ought to be made by the individuals involved, between them & the Lord, it is certainly marriage!--And if you can't find out from the Lord who you're supposed to marry, or you can't find a girl who wants to marry you, you'd better not get married! 80. Marriage is supposed to be for life, except for the most unusual circumstances, truly desperate &/or Scriptural exceptions! Everything humanly possible should be done to stick together, both for your sake as well as for the sake of the children & the Work of God! So don't throw in the towel too soon! 81. God is the God of marriage, too, & the main thing is to be married to Him & His Work, & when a marriage is not according to His Will, He doesn't hesitate to break it up & form other unions to further His Work! 82.What the World thinks are our weaknesses are actually our strengths. We do not minimize the marriage ties, as such. We just consider our ties to the Lord & the larger Family greater & more important.--And when the private marriage ties interfere with our Family & God ties, they can be readily abandoned for the glory of God & the good of The Family! We are not forsaking the marital unit.--We are adopting a greater & more important & far larger concept of marriage: The totality of the Bride & her marriage to the Bridegroom is The Family! We are adopting the larger Family as The Family unit: The Family of God & His Bride & Children! 83. Even if God has to break up these little private twosomes in order to make us conscious of the greater unit of the Family, He will do it! If He can trust you with the private unit for the Glory of God, He will do it. But if you put that privacy first before the Whole Family Unit, God will blow on it & destroy it if He has to! 84. God has had to break up many little families of the World to make our kids all members of His Family. God is in the business of breaking up many families to make them all One Family! And He has been in that business for a long time! 85. God is not averse to breaking up selfish little families for His Glory, to make of the pieces a much larger unselfish unit--the Whole Family--the entire Bride--the One Wife instead of many wives! 86. God is trying to teach us the lesson of putting Him & His Family first. If you cannot be trusted with a private relationship & to keep it in its proper perspective--last--then God will break it up in order to ensure that He & His Work get first place! There can be no superior or selfish private ties which supercede our ties to God above all! And if you don't give God all, He will just take them away & make you forsake all! This is one of the most outstanding lessons God has taught us from the top right on down. God is tying to show us something: These personal private husband-wife relationships are unedifying & unfruitful unless they are kept totally subordinate! If He allows you any nice cozy little private relationship, you can be very thankful for it! It is, in a sense, a privilege, a special little dispensation of grace to feel that only two of you belong to each other in particular. And He will only allow that provided you make it very clear to each other & the Lord & the others in The Family that you belong to God most of all, & your private relationship doesn't interfere with your work & your relationship with the Lord! 87. Does your marriage relationship glorify God? Hallelujah! Does your separation glorify God more?--Then Hallelujah! Does your relationship with your children glorify God?--Hallelujah! Does your separation from your children glorify God more? Hallelujah! Whatever's best for God & His Family is what's right!--Amen? Can you say, "By the grace of God, I'm going to put Him & His Family first!"

88. The danger is when you get your mind dwelling on the bad traits. The Lord says, "Choose the good & eschew the evil." (1Pe.3:11) He says, "Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on these things!" (Phil.4:8)--That applies to your mate as well. Try to remind yourself constantly of his or her good qualities, the good things, & try not to think about the bad things. 89. To have such a drastic change all at once is quite difficult for most people!--A new life for the Lord, new work, new Family, new rules, new education, new mate, new child, new feelings, new everything. If the new disciples get involved romantically & sexually with someone in their first months, they don't usually get as well grounded in the Word & in the Lord. They get more dependent on their mate, & if he's not strong, then they're both weak! It just doesn't seem to make for good strong disciples! 90. If you don't have a special sweet personal relationship with your mate, don't moan & murmur about it, just bury yourself in the Lord's Work--& let her do the same. You just go your way, & let her go her way. God is in control! Quit worrying about it! You must get your mind on the Lord & put Him first. Your love for the Lord cannot hinge on your wife! You're going to have to put God first--nothing except God's Work. 91. You can't expect to work together all the time. You're both so valuable your talents can't always be all concentrated in one place at one time. Unless the work unites you where you have to be together, God expects you to be willing to put Him first & be separated from each other. You have to be willing to say, "Lord, if You want to give her back to me, okay, but if not, I'm going to go ahead anyway without her & praise You no matter what!" Sacrifice has been the primary requisite for Love in our Family! But a selfish possessive love doesn't work in our kind of Family. She'll explode & hate you & feel like killing you just to get her freedom! But if you'll earn her respect by showing you are putting God first, she'll love you in the Spirit, & this in turn leads to love in the flesh. Don't expect this to happen overnight. You'll have to prove yourself--it may take a long time. Leave it all in God's hands! If she sees that you will let her go cheerfully & sacrificially, she'll love you for it. Real love prefers the happiness of the other above your own. Selfish love wants to cling & hang on & put her in bondage. If you really love her, you'll free her! 92. To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it, Whenever you're right, shut up. 93. Married people will appreciate the story of how Mrs. Albert Einstein replied to someone who asked her if she understood her husband's theory of relativity. "No", she said, "I do not understand it. But what is more important to me, I understand Dr. Einstein." 94. A successful marriage demands a divorce--a divorce from your own self-love. 95. A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day. 96. A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. 97. On your special anniversary this brings a special prayer, That God will bless you always & will keep you in His care. May His abundant blessings, as He guides you from above, Fill your days to come with peace and all His joy & love. Happy Anniversary. 98. Not only on your special day but often through the year,

My thoughts turn to the special things that make you both so dear: A closeness that our family had, which I remember yet, Simple joys & pleasures, happy times we won't forget. And for each cherished memory comes a wish that's filled with love, For all the special happiness you're so deserving of. Happy Anniversary. 99. It takes a special day like this To just look back & reminisce, And think of all the things you've shared Since that first day I knew you cared. Of course things changed but that is life, And love between a man & wife Cannot remain a youthful rage, But grows, matures, endears with age. And always there's that bond of love, There's just no explanation of! And with the storms & trials it grows, Like flowers do beneath the snows. Sometimes it's hidden from the sight, Just like the sun seems lost at night. But always there's that bond of love, There's just no explanation of. In every year that we're together, Regardless of the kind of weather, The bond of love grows that much stronger, Because we've shared it one year longer. Lord bless our anniversary!--Do! And grant us love and bliss in You! --Helen Steiner Rice

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