You are on page 1of 5

Yesterday I Gave Birth To A Million Senators

Opening credits:

Telltale Pictures presents / Yesterday I Gave Birth To


Millions Of Senators / Chris S / Owen D / Music by Chris S
and Tony K / Written by Tony K and Chris S / Produced and
Directed by Tony K

------------------------------------

(I) HC to a blur of color, PAN thru out-of-focus color,


slowly during some credits (from "Music By" credits).

after "directed by" credit, reach ECU of skin and mouth,


which slowly starts speaking and we slowly start zooming
out:

"This woman looks like a bunch of donuts (large, big


donuts) stacked atop one another with cloth draped over
them. She's got this smile. I dont' know. Like it got there
without her knowing it.

I'm kind of afraid you might be thinking about the Michelin


Man now. No. He was made of white tires, and he was
naked, and his smile was drawn by some sort of drawer. A
guy who draws. He has a smile that sells tires.

This woman is made of donuts. And they are all of varying


sizes. Otherwise I would have said something like, uh, I
don't know. Something about a cylindrical thing. Oh. The
Leaning Tower of Pisa straightened out. Made of donuts.
I keep coming back to donuts. Okay. I will explain. I was
there and this lady was walking away from me, and her
back reminded me of big donuts stacked atop one another.

Yes, I suppose if I were not wearing glasses and she were


farther away and I didn't know that no one would make
donuts that big and that if someone did make a donut that
big it would not be wlaking around a laundromat in Omaha,
Nebraska at 9:30 pm on a Saturday in October, I might
think, "Yes. There is a donut. I will eat it."

To hell with you.

during the slow zoom out, we start to see more of the


man's body, the neck and hair, the chest, keep zooming
until we notice a prop in his hand that doesn't fit in at all.
he stares for a few seconds.

-----------------------

(II) HC to outdoor scenes, elegantly photographed


accompanied by music and possibly the sound of birds.
about 30-60 seconds of various scenes, then,

----------------------

(III) HC to still tripod shot of flourescent light in office,


huimming.

HC to an MS. SAYLES, an office assistant walking down


hallway with a portfolio in hand, opens a door,
HC to two men sitting at opposite ends of a desk, possibly
engaged in quiet small talk, both look up, INTERVIEWER
stands up and takes papers, DON awkwardly almost stands
up out of politeness, but sits back down quickly at the
edge of his chair. assistant leaves, door slams and

HC to interviewer's face, CU profile shot, zoom out until


you see both upper torsos at either end of the desk. During
this slow pan out this interview ensues:

INTERVIEWER: So, Don, where do you see yourself in 5


years?

DON: digital water, smacks grass flat. the razor poofs of


roughage blocks stack like drops of juice. i am a
telephone. yesterday i gave birth to millions of senators. i
am Rachmaninov.

HC to INTERVIEWER: (nods thoughtfully) Do you have any


other technical skills besides what you have here (sifts
through paper) "IBM literate, moderate knowledge of
photocopying equipment..."

HC to DON: "Oh, um, Penut Butter, Heavy Ladies, Eggs,


Juicy Dick, uhh... Loud Shouts at Streetcorners, Holy
Tomatoes, The Everignoring Present, Jiggle Poodle,...
hmm... Oh! Santa Muffins, Bodies of Water, Chocolate
Cola, Golden Urine, and Pickled Ocra"

HC to INTERVIEWER: (slightly disappointed) 'K, I see. OK,


um, says here you worked for the Gazette--were you in
copy writing, or what was it they had you doing there?

HC to DON: Mister sock-pants died in my arms.


HC to INTERVIEWER: Oh, Ok, great. (makes some notes for
a few seconds)

HC to Don, looking a little uneasy.

HC to HH MS of Interviewer: OK, we have some standard


tests for you to take, if you'll follow Miss Sayles into the
examination room, She'll set you up, it shouldn't take
longer than an hour. We'll let you know by mail in a day or
two if you got the job or not.

DON: My nice tits in the jungle. (they shake hands)

INTERVIEWER: Good luck.

DISSOLVE to establishing shot of an apartment building in


Omaha.

MS of Don sitting in messy apartment, having just plopped


down on his couch after getting his mail, a little out of
breath because he just woke up too. Pulls out a letter,
opens it:

HC to ECU of letter, the camera sees "We were very


impressed by you during our interview, but, unfortunately,
we have chosen a more experienced applicant. Thank you
for your interest in Jameson Printing, INC."

MS of Don standing up, looking at the letter, looking up,


looking back at the letter and throwing it on the ground.
Don proceeds to stomp repeatedly on the crumpled letter.
Camera follows him over to the window, he stares for a
couple seconds, HC to the exterior of a donut shop from
the window. Hold the shot for a few seconds, maybe
someone leaves with a sack of pastries.

HC to end credits:

Cast (in order of appearance):


Laundromat Guy: Chris S
Office Assistant: Mary S
Interviewer: Jessica G
Don: Owen D

(music credits)
Produced with the help of the DVTV Television studio on
the Dana College Campus in Blair, NE in December 2001.

THE END