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Your negative emotions are powerful guides to what needs to change in your life.


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Because you're a human being, you're going to feel emotions while you're at work. It's hoped that the bulk of your emotions will be positive, such as excitement, wonder, gratitude, and joy. owever, it's inevitable that you'll also feel some negative emotions. But here's the thing! "he way you handle your negative emotions will largely determine how successful you'll eventually become. #fter all, it's easy to manage a business or do a job when everything's all sweetness and light. $hat's difficult is making things happen when times are rough and things don't work out the way you'd prefer. $ith that in mind, here are the six most common negative emotions that people feel at work, along with a plan to transform those emotions into something to help you become more, rather than less, successful. 1. If you're feeling fear... %tep back for a second and try to see the situation objectively. #sk yourself! &Is my business or career truly at risk'& If not, then you may just be feeling nervous and excited rather than fearful, just like when you get on a roller coaster. %o enjoy the ride.

If you decide that the situation is truly serious, then do something physical, like taking a walk, to clear your mind. $hen you return, create an action plan for how you're going to handle the situation right now. "hink of all the times that you've successfully handled similar situations or other situations that were personally challenging. ave faith that you'll be able to do the same this time. "hen take the first step in your action plan. 2. If you're feeling rejected... (ecide whether you actually respect the opinion of the person who &rejected& you. If the rejection came from an idiot, a blowhard, or a mooncalf, a &rejection& is actually a backhanded compliment. If you () respect the other person's opinion, recogni*e that you may be interpreting the situation incorrectly. "he only way to find out is to ask. %ay something like! &"he other day, you said ++++ and I felt hurt. ,an you clarify what happened'& -inally, reali*e that, in a very real sense, &rejection& is an illusion. It almost always stems from a difference in the &rules& by which people interpret events. .robably you got &rejected& because the other person had different rules. %o where's the sting' 3. If you're feeling angry... Your first task is get some distance from the situation. If you can, get up and go for a walk, or do something that will distract you for a moment. If you can't take any of those actions, use /om's old standby and slowly count from one to 01. 2ow that you've calmed yourself down, pinpoint the reason that you're angry. You will find that in 3435Y case, it's because somebody has violated a rule or standard that is deeply important to you. 5ather then &blowing up& or &letting off steam,& figure out how to communicate to the other person the importance of that rule or standard so that the same situation doesn't recur in the future. 4. If you're feeling frustrated... #t work, this emotion emerges when you feel that your results aren't what you expected, given the amount of work and effort that you've expended. You know your goal is achievable, but it continues to seem out of reach.

Your first step here is to reassess your plan and your behavior. Is this really the best way to achieve this goal' If not, your frustration is telling you that you need to change the plan and the execution of the plan. If your plan is solid and your behavior appropriate, it's time to exercise patience. %top worrying about the goal. 6et go of your results and concentrate on the behavior and have faith that &7od's delays are not 7od's denials.& 5. If you're feeling inadequate... $elcome to the club8 $hether people admit it or not, even those who seem the most self9confident secretly worry that they're not going to measure up or that they're ill prepared for the challenges ahead. "he wonderful thing about this emotion is that it's the easiest to handle. Your sense of inade:uacy, like everyone else's, stems from a lack of skills, experience, and strategies in an area where you'd like to be successful. Your plan is therefore simple! (ecide that you're going to work on your skills in this area until you master them. -ind a role model or a mentor. 5ead books or take seminars. $orst case, you'll learn in the &school of hard knocks.& It's just part of life8 6. If you're feeling stressed... "here's no :uestion that today's business world puts extraordinary demands on people's time and energy. $hether you're an entrepreneur, an executive, a line manager, or a worker, you're constantly being asked to do more with less. 3ven so, you ;like everybody else< are constrained by the limits of time and space. 5egardless of how you feel about it, you've got a limited amount of time to get things done and to keep yourself healthy and happy at the same time. "herefore, the best way to use stress is as a signal that it's time to prioriti*e. (o what's important rather than what's urgent. 5emember! "wenty percent of your work generally produces =1 percent of your results8 %o focus on the >1 percent8 By the way, the above is loosely based on some notes I took at an #nthony 5obbinsseminar a couple of decades ago, along with additional perspectives gleaned from the brilliant speaker and savant #rt /ortell.