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MARITAL RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS It's the rare couple that doesn't run into a few bumps in the road.

If you recognize ahead of time, though, what those relationship problems might be, you'll have a much better chance of getting past them. Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error. Money, sex and communication. MARITAL INFIDELITY is one of the most traumatic of all life experiences. However, we believe that the identification of the emotional, character and spiritual conflicts that contribute to marital infidelity can be uncovered and resolved. Such healing is not possible unless each spouse has an understanding of and a loyalty to the sacrament of marriage and to the goodness in his/her spouse. We regularly cite John Paul II's wisdom from Love and Responsibility to couples who are struggling with this issue. "The strength of such a (mature) love emerges most clearly when the beloved stumbles, when his or her weaknesses or sins come into the open. One who truly loves does not then withdraw love, but loves all the more, loves in full consciousness of the other's shortcomings and faults, without in the least approving of them. For the person as such never loses his/her essential value. The emotion which attaches to the value of the person is loyal," Love and Responsibility. Origins of Marital Infidelity The following marital conflicts contribute to a vulnerability to marital infidelity. Loneliness and sadness An emotionally distant spouse Selfishness/materialism Lack of a moral code Lack of confidence Controlling and disrespectful behaviors by spouse Compulsive use of pornography Lack of balance in married life with failure to attend to romantic aspect of marriage, the marital friendship and sexual intimacy/betrothed love Seriously disordered priorities with the placement of work, others, sports, children, etc. before one's spouse Strong resentment and anger with a desire to punish Attempt to escape from responsibilities and pressures Strong mistrust and anxiety Weak faith with a failure to engage in the struggle against temptations Modeling after an unfaithful parent

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Failure to address marital stresses Close firendships with others who have been unfaithful Lack of understanding of the sacrament of marriage Unresolved family of origin sadness, mistrust or anger Failure to find fulfillment in fatherhood or motherhood and as a protector of one's spouse and children Previous infidelity Failure to communicate the Church's teaching about marriage and sexual morality. REACTION Infidelity has been investigated within a variety of perspectives in the literature. It seems like other humanistic research subjects, infidelity researches also have some unanswered questions. Due to the importance of this issue to couple therapists and social psychologist, more researches are needed in the future to increase the knowledge about infidelity and collectively to avoid destroying marriage problems. The unfaithful man’ wife may lose some of her investment to another woman. The husband of an unfaithful wife may lose the entire reproductive capacity of his spouse for at least one childbearing cycle. He also risks long-term investment of resources in a rival’s offspring. Given the prevalence of infidelity and costs associated with infidelity and with divorcee, an important empirical issue is what differentiates couples who divorce from those who stay together following infidelity. Thus, more research on infidelity is needed in social psychology. Overall it is revealed the several gaps identified during review of infidelity literature and clear the opportunity for future studies. Due to the importance role of infidelity in breaking a marriage, more research should explore other areas that related to probability of infidelity. For example further research should be done to investigate the difference between those who unprotected to infidelity and those who do not engage in infidelity which personality characters can lead to infidelity or about predicting infidelity. However more research on this topic is needed to be undertaken before investigating the association between personality traits and predicting infidelity. Cross-national study like how job dissatisfaction may relate to the probability of infidelity is another gap in this literature. A further study with more focus on the cues of infidelity is therefore suggested. How can spouse understand the cues of probability of infidelity in their partners to save their marriage? Also further studies on the different type of infidelity and the way for coping with them such as work infidelity or how emotional infidelity can lead to combined infidelity, it means sexual infidelity adds to emotional type is suggested. Also, further work need to be done to establish whether opportunities to bring unfaithfulness for both sexes are different or not? DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and abuse can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical. Noticing and acknowledging the signs of an abusive relationship is the first step to ending it. No one should live in fear of the person they love. If you recognize yourself or someone you know in the following warning signs and descriptions of abuse, reach out.

Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse,occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence. Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you. Domestic violence and abuse does not discriminate. It happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships. It occurs within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and economic levels. And while women are more commonly victimized, men are also abused —especially verbally and emotionally, although sometimes even physically as well. The bottom line is that abusive behavior is never acceptable, whether it’s coming from a man, a woman, a teenager, or an older adult. You deserve to feel valued, respected, and safe. REACTION Domestic violence is a serious issue. The violent attacks are usually by men towards women. This issue is not stereotypical to only one type of lifestyle. Domestic violence can occur whether the people involved are rich or poor. Domestic violence also can take place among men in all careers such as police officer, pastor, construction worker, fire fighter. Religion is not a factor because domestic violence can occur whether the people are Christian or non-Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, or any other religion. It is possible that a boy grew up in a home and watched his father demonstrate this violent behavior. Watching the father repeatedly commit such actions could cause unpleasant memories to plant themselves within the child’s mind. As the child grows up, he begins to desire a relationship with the opposite sex. Considering that all relationships occasionally have disagreements, this could be a bad situation for that boy in a romantic relationship. Domestic violence does not always occur with grown men. This violence also occurs with teenagers. A young adult that has anger issues and has not been taught how to properly deal with such anger will eventually explode into a verbal typhoon of words or lash out like a cobra spitting its venom. This writer believes that the main reason domestic violence exists is because men grow up not learning the proper way to deal with anger. Why do young adults and men get angry so quickly? Why is there a lack of self control? Why do men seem to wear their emotions on their sleeves? What are these men afraid of? Anger is usually not the first emotion one experiences. Anger is almost always a byproduct of fear. James 1:19-20 says, “This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.”1 Abuse, both verbal and physical, will do great damage to any relationship. A man that is often violent towards his wife or girlfriend needs Christian counseling. A cell in a prison may give the man time to think about his actions but it does not deal with the underlying root of anger that is ruling his life. Only Christ can deal with such anger. If a man allows Christ to fully become Lord in his life, great change will take place. Christ can change the man’s desires. Anger does not have to be the main response. Whatever fear is in the man’s life can be replaced by putting his full trust in Christ.

Domestic violence could be curbed from the beginning of a person’s life. If parents would properly teach their children how to deal with fear, anger, and pent up frustration, these children may not tend to lash out so quickly. Ultimately, domestic violence is a result of sin. People at their very core are selfish, evil, and do not seek after God. While this is true, it is no excuse. Every man, woman and child are responsible for the decisions they make. Blaming someone else never solves the issue inside a person. A life centered on Christ is the only solution.