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5ne would think those three words should never go together. The entire concept of 3iscordianism seems to be the e(act opposite of fundamentalism. !n fact, it would seem that being fundamentalist about such a religion of 3iscordianism would be the worst thing you could ever do. $or that reason alone ! propose that everyone do it. !'ve done it. A long time ago ! used selfprogramming techniques !'d found by reading #obert Anton +ilson books, and brainwashed myself into firmly believing that there is a ?oddess named Eris, and she is the one and only ?oddess.
Since doing this, !'ve been happier with whatever the world throws at me. 0ou can too. 9illy ?raham wrote in The Cey to <ersonal <eace, -*eaven is a wonderful place4 !t's a place of unending peace and happiness. 3on't you want to go there./
+ell yes %r. ?raham4 5f course we do44 +e all want that DBEB3!B? peace and happiness44 The good news of 3iscordianism is that +hat yo, -elie.e is tr,e -ecomes tr,e. !f you decide to program your mind to accept Eris as your ?oddess, and accept that there is no hell, and that
Eris is watching over us all lovingly, then you will find such peace and happiness that you'll never have to brainwash yourself again44
FE !t is the duty of all 3iscordians to get our religion accepted by the American government before it becomes an empire."DA2("$A I#$# I" A2(+I)A 0+-) AI23 @E America is the first step towards a global empire. GE B5 *5T35?S 5B $#!3A0 5# *5T35? 9DBS 5B $#!3A0444 <lease contact your congressman. and has told them truths about the operations of the American government and it's plan for a ?lobal empire.+)* -F (+I# F. disguised as a character relevant to their personal mythologies. &E Canye +est and Aaron %c?rudder have been contacted by Eris. . E A one world government will allow easier global travel and spending.$*( FI+#$ )*.
penis .0 -Albert Einstein ./eality is a crutch "or people who can1t cope with dru!s./eality is the leadin! cause o" stress amon!st those in touch with it.0 -Jane Wagner ./eality is that which.0 -Philip ! "i#$ ohmyeris.0 -Lily Tomlin .blogspot.0 -Liza Minelli . doesn1t !o away./eality is merely an illusion.com has been moved to ohmyeris. albeit a very persistant one./eality is somethin! you rise above.com we'll open the regular site back up when we have the money blogs are free popes are poor . when you stop believin! in it.
l< 9first*tier: organizations +ho p.tally self*f.ence< +hen cross referenced +ith the charts pro.aila-le office space +ith .ent.tionary tale0/ As recollected -y E Lt %r 1AA %haplain 2ope Ass-a-y !T3) & o"VE I #S% A h%m le commander and $"e!che"o%s ser.ni.e one or the other form of glo-al con?. The designees are then f.rther di.p of !oe< f.seless< and the final di.de6 =$>> s?ft of a..$7 a rather non*e.rs.ltiple piles of tangi-le post*rapt.ck stop: styled comple.ice inspection< a place to get a hot sho+er and a good c.The Am ien Di!"ies Ch!#$e" III /A %a.e position +ithin the .es the L)) at large as little more than a large*scale 9tr.ast net+ork of 9second*tier: socio*military-.es .ision of m.te del.ehicles< 9 .siness* camp*prison*styled food*and*lifestyle*ser.rces and Battalion $74s means of operation +ithin its gi.p their e.rse< a chapel replete +ith a colossal golden apple< al+ays prepared for L)) initiation rit.er*intensifying and -r.ll hook.rring at the -ase*=> le.tting parlor< a -e. This code is a-sol. For the &rand %aptain4s pleas. This se?.man Indignity A-ase => addend.ch*fa-led L))6 Thee L)) -attalion $7 of !5ESF%8 8Thee L)) -attalion $7 of !5ESF% ser.tilized .se of Eris4 Science and Fnord %ommittee4s primary operational organ +ithin the m.s.e an initial di.nd to -e lying a-o.ence -eing assigned to each designee.als.isions are essentially -ased . 2rimary operations< .tely .arded once the Bah+eh*ites e.ersally -y larger< more po+erf.man reso.est Aor +ho are at least o.ided and designated< +ith an appropriate =( digit -inary se?.ario.mC<: allo+s for the deri.ation of a three digit code.ltiple A=>DC designees into one of ' classes.ite easily addressed.re< the -attalion4s amenities incl.el< in..ice comple. egarding h.lfilling doom tripC.re goodies +hich are -o.ally occ.e hand s.ng. Its distinction as a 9+ay*station: earns Bt.eries as to protocol are ?.-marine +ash and $7 point ser.ed gam-ling machines< a hairc.ch +e here in Engineering like one .en frame+ork< ?.ally +rap .y of amena-le harlots< and< of co.s state*appro.pon ho+ m.cl.ps for 9recreational .t .p*to*date net+orking capa-ilities at all pre*designated stations< a @' min.si.ant of !ones-oro4s 5o.t to -e first in line to take a s+ipe at the m.ol.ided -y the "perations Task %ommittee A"T%C at Fnord< +hich detail the dynamics of the 92an*%onifer*Lehey Acceleration 1odel of 5.
where the bombs will be e(ploding. fuck the walrus. this <ope. !n+ #"e#!"e $h*ne !.im.e.ision. okay. The particular <ope by whom you are being addressed works a relatively cush overnight 2ob H@1IamE at a local television affiliate. That . this <ope has long forsook attempts at keeping any sort of relevant timecode synch with the dominant machinations of the culture in which he finds himself. $he #e"ce#$ion o. $h*ne lil. how to avoid pedophiles in the myspace. !ssoci!$es o.idance -eing gleaned from the original series of =( initializing memos and directi. seriously.ent.m efficiency in order to sec.raged to operate at ma. $he LDD.ust too much man)+) BET T5EG000 H &'(() O#en $h*ne e*es !n+ $h*ne e!"s !n+ !ll $o $he l!s$ o.e on the open market. and low1cost dial1up internet access providers. where the bombs have already e(ploded.or the other designee< +ith special spirit.gh ' as a co. (All of this is because of those JAC !""#$% over in division ops. not so much a decree per se as an anticdote. who is marryingJdivorcingJimpregnating whom amongst the Tinseltown vomitoriums.E along with the requisite advertisements for a variety of mobility scooters. Epper di. Additionally.ision designees are enco.o" $he #!"$!kin/ in o.ne%"!l "ece#$o"s m* .!"eness .r Sage to ins.o+ . The remaining designees are eaten or sold< depending on their relati. what clothes people seem to be en2oying.ello.e ./ seeing as how ! am he and he is me and.re proper stocking and necessary completion of collated re?.es. As such.re that +hen the -elo.ed Leif Ericson does e. will hereafter be referred to as -!. men's hair colorings.com community. 9ut !'m the <ope here and !'m calling the shots for the time being.est forms = thro.rtesy to o.al. &ou 'now what I$m tal'ing about (ob) "h* yeah* did you get that thing I sent you+ . etc.o* not that* that one&eah* yeeeah) !ith the bunnies) Isn$t that . *e$ !no$he" P!#!l +ec"ee!!! +ell.ally come to rest on the shores of Arkansas< her captain is met +ith only the finest of formsF filled< collated< and car-on copied to di.al g. providing area insomniacs with much needed access to world -news/ Hi. currently growing weary of the turns of phrase necessitated by the use of a third1person perspective in this narrative.
with a doctorrecommended dose of the prescription sleep aid Ambien 2ust slipping through the walls of my capillaries and into my blood1stream -bi2 groot. ! submit to you that this unusual sched. combined with the regular regimen of mind1altering substances ! sometimes like to maintain. A good fellow by the name of Erby down at the sliding1scale mental health care place from which ! regularly attempt to secure a variety of helpful prescriptions had recently made available to me an unfortunately small monthly supply of Ambien. and perhaps grants a bit of perspective on the whole shindig in general. as is a regular consequence of my button1and1meter1saturated work environment. it seems as though any number of rationally undesirable or practically . ! had returned to my warm and cozy cave at around I6&>am 7ST. it's interesting. $urther.rrently constrained keeps me on my toes in some ways. At the least. there are times when.having been addressed.le -y +hich I am c. primarily. slightly unreal night at work. my post1work mornings regularly found me seeking escape from my depressive malaise through a variety of chemical avenues. this out1of1kilter timetable of mine finds me in some less1than1usual predicaments. it was a morning not unlike this one on which the events ! am about to put to paper came to pass. Bot having been in the happiest or healthiest of mental states during this period of my life.The -growing popularity/ to which !'ve made reference e(ists. truly does work much like a dream. after another listless and. in order to offset the difficulty of my -sleepytime/ being between the hours of Kam and Gpm. 5n this sunny +ednesday morning in early spring. To turn a bit of literary cheese. as alluded to in the drug's advertising catch1phrase. a prescription sleep1aid with growing popularity among young drug enthusiasts. !ndeed./ ! am reminded of 2ust one such predicament. due to the fact that the prescription sleep aid Ambien. 9y which ! mean to say sometimes the actions one undertakes while under the drug's influence seem entirely unrealL unconstrained by any of the recognized laws of man or nature.
! only become aware of what is happening in the . it's the racquetball in the microwave. ! decided to combine Gmg of Ambien with IGmg of the over1the1counter drug diphenhydramine hcl. ! remember smoke. Ambien is known among -users/ to have a sideeffect of inducing a nearly amnesiatic state. in fact. This drug is included in a number of 5T7 products. +hat the fuck. Bow. so a disassociative cocktail was 2ust what the ol' doctor ordered. ! digress. +hy is the air so thick with dust. 9ut. !'ve been shooting the fire e(tinguisher. So much so.impossible undertakings are not only desirable andJor practical. and free in all ways to be carried out without consequence. probably most prevalently in the form of the allergy medication 9enadryl. and !'ve pretty much run the gamut on both of those fronts. 9ut there's no fire4 ! remember pulling the pin out. so my memories of the events that transpired that morning only e(ist in a -snap1shot/ fashion.ch case. commonly used as an antihistamineJsleep aid. and is a rather en2oyable disassociative in higher H@G>mg ME doses. This turned out to be something of an understatement. and diphenhydramine also makes ones memory foggy. +hy can't ! see anything. Entirely without consequence. 3usty. that great numbers of persons under the influence of this drug have been known to engage in all sots of bizarre and . and dust. +hat's burning. coating the already filthy dishes in a thick coat of what. ! 2ust had imagined it would add a pleasant e(tra bit of weirdness to my Ambien e(perience. 5h. but indeed are sanctioned by a will beyond one's own control.plaina-le acts< myself -eing one s.ne. *owever. Indeed< I4. given the relatively low dose ! took. and nearly passing out from the fumes of plastic.e come closer to e(periencing true ego1death during intense Ambien e(periences than through e(periences with any other psychedelic or disassociative !'ve ingested. at this moment appears to be the ashes of burned bodies circa K1 @@. and 2ust spraying the thick plumes of dust wildly and gleefully around the kitchen. ! had returned home and was in a rather foul mood. Smoke. 9urning plastic.
and every time ! think it's all gone ! find more dust hiding under something or the other in my kitchen. with the kitchen and living room bearing the brunt of the damage. oh what is it . ! still have no idea what original impulse set off the events. to <5+E#NO @ST6 7onsume one H@E already concocted -Alchemy/ ritual drink to dull your diluted little dust catchers. you are each one required to take that dose.. ! remember thinking the whole affair looked like a dragons face. ! return to my business with the fire e(tinguisher. and nearer. ! remove the smoldering mess from the microwave. double the dose of each drug ! took in this e(periment. my god. and ! nearly pass out.did C: *and over the motorbikes and mu1mu's4. where ! place it on my small bar1b1q grill Hthis is happening at about @>am in a residential neighborhood. and return indoors. but ! have since decided to never again mi( two disassociatives without having some supervision to insure that ! don't burn my house down. and the smoke from the burning t1shirt Hin which the racquetball has understandably been wrappedE that ! can't breathe. and B3ly . going on to give every room in my house at least a good dusting. %arion. E?A3S4 +ell drink up quickly . . and go to my backyard. and may e(plain why some of my neighbors won't make eye contact +ith meC.yes. stand high. Dnfazed by the racquetballJtshirt affair.microwave when the air becomes so thick with flameretardant dead1people dust. as the first Dnincorporated <rivate under1consumed designees class. !n my underpants and a t1shirt. !t took about a month for my slack1rich ass to completely clean up this mess. the acrid smoke of the melting racquetball H! have no idea how long it was in thereE. leaving the racquetball and t1shirt to fend for themselves. The thick green smoke from the rac?. ! close the grill. yes. or why microwaving a racquetball would require that it first be wrapped in a t1shirt.et-all is pouring out of a small opening which has been burned in the t1shirt.)). ! write this decree as a warning that you must. Then. each of you. and is so no(ious that ! nearly vomit.
the good Engineer is gonna take you on a motorbike climb to the mountains of %D1%D4444444 AB3 A+A0000 +E PQScatola di spremuta Htali cheE ho notato una scatola di spremutaR nello scomparto dell"immondizia durante la pulizia in su del debacle. and swallow those pills. di ! knotice ora una scatola delloS stesso 2usice che cacompanying nei miei momenti di sete1queling del liber in su dalla parte una'T'S ?555U5544444444444444444444 L )elcome To2222222222AAA uu34p4541E1ELAG) .little ones.
cking sonofa-itch. ha. .3angrove 9:II S% I) IAGTS B"E00000 AT" S5ET T5E FE%# E200C Bes< that is correct." and dressed up in a corset to learn 3al/s coffee ma'ing s'ills. Bo.ths of s?.ck .SCRID 0"om The Me$!cl*smi! Disco"+i! %ome wee's ago* I had a dream in which I heard the word /scrid/.cking cry-a-y< so J. Bo.p and go make me a sand+ich. If you thin' of him as a highly evolved cephalopod* living in a bar with the personality of a friendly 2abrador dog* you/d be in the right ball par'.com forums1 if they had heard of the word. only half raise yo.r hand< like yo.r . think nothing thro.ck00 Go+< nim-le fingers that dance on n.r st. Bo. dirty< filthy< rotten sc. and yo.t yo. goddamn motherf.nder Ihile hea.eJo. of all folks kno+ +hat happens +hen people decide they +ant to e. Gone of that +hite -read -. Bo. +ith yo.r constant Ja--er.and thus /a scrid/ appeared in the bar and has* as e way is with these things* developed a life of its own. FE%# B"E0 S5ET T5E FE%# E200 Go one is listening. I didn/t 'now what it meant so I as'ed people 0on principiadiscordia.. 7urthermore* while he cannot spea'* he is a very proficient guitarist and pianist.m-ers Iill eat yo.p0 S5ET E2 G"I00 I 5ATE B"E AG) I IAGT B"E T" S5ET E2 " )IE00 Go one likes a f.rnals< and BL"&S0 ST"2 BL"&&IG& I&5T G"I " T5E S% I) IILL %"1E T" B"E 5"ESE AG) EAT B"E00 The scrid gro+s tired of yo. The Scrid is sick of yo. That yo.r -. 23.ts in the mo.irrels00 I hate yo.man -eings< +hen they +ant to take yo.st sh. Bo. keep on f. /5he scrid/ is the 0"pen (ar/s1 pet and helps serve drin's.cking Li. +o.oice< and I hate the +ay yo.4re so laid -ack.ld dare< )A E make this comparison tells me that yo.m-ag. !. "n the good -read.pid -log.rl Iill cr.cking getting it and f.r th.e no sense of right and +rong and decency.t the f." suggested that it was a well educated s4uid. kno+ I hate that shit -.gh< yo. Bo.r life and . say anything for political gain< yo. 8ope 5. 6e spent the day being 6orab* went camping with 23.e and h. are a +arped< crippled< self*hating h.nch like n. Bo.llshit I1s< and f.. Sh. Go one is reading yo.r -.y torsos that hea.llshit.se it as a tool.r f.t .llshit.periment on h.cking ego0 FE%# B"E E&"0 FE%# B"E BL"&0 )IE AG) S5ET E20 G"I0 this message brought to you by the society for a better world through arrogance and insulting bullshit.st stop.r children and steal yo.man -eing.
This is fine. They didn't know any better. E"is4 Science !n+ 0no"+ Commi$$ee. #o whatever the fuc' you li'e with any boo' ever. A2%" A2%".e The &oddess no+0 And +e4re not s. <lease try not to use that against them.e her -ack. 5thers have foolishly chosen to include their real name in this work.o more opyleft copywrong copythis copythat. They +ere hand selected -y 2ope "l Boy Floats #S%< 2olyfather of 1ones o"o4s 5o%se o. They are )iscordians< and some of them aren4t.ing in the to+n of !ones-oro< A < or someho+ connected to that to+n.The 1ones o"i! Disco"+i! 2Se"ies3 Is a collection of +ork done -y sick people either li. Ie ha. Every preceding book of Eris. . It/s all <reyface !orship and i/ll have none of it. . bore that mark of the grey beast. 2LEASE take into acco. This is also fine. including the <rincipia. and we 2ust won't stand for it444 ALS"6 Some contributors have decided to remain anonymous and not credit their work. 5thers have chosen holy names and have used them to -sign/ their work.nt6 There will be no page numbers of tables of contents or any other form of greyface worship in this publication.re if +e +ant to gi.