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By:K eshia M ckin nie
“I 'v e le ar ne d tha t ev er yone want s t o l ive on to p o f th e mo unta in , b ut all the h appi ness an d gr ow th o ccu rs wh il e you'r e cli mb li ng it ”
Table O f Con ten ts
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I' m Sor ry Em ot io ns WTF Lik e an Ea gl e Fallin My Baby Tells Me Jac k Da nie l Sweet Dr eams Lik e Ma gi c La ughi n at You ! It 's Me My Cl yde Wh at I'v e Been Wait in g For Sp in Cy cle My Pl ace Fell In l ove Wi th a Bo y Ev ery one i s A Fr ie nd Ti ll They Prove Ot herw ise 4 Gir ls
Thi s co llec ti on of wor k was writ tin at a t ime in my l if e th at I had to li ve in or de r t o l ea rn . I know it sou nds “ cl ich e”, but it i s so tr ue! In th at ti me , I gai ned f rie nd s an d l ost plen ty. It was a pa rt o f gr ow in g u p an d mo ving on. Th is wo rk was wr it te n from my hea rt and so ul. I hope my wo rds will hel p a nd maybe en co ur ag e ot hers to fac e w ha tev er p rob lems co me alo ng in lif e.
I' m S orry
I know it's gonna be hard but I want what we had thses long days of silence are making me mad I know I hurt you broke your heart there are no excuses I just want to try again with a new start No more games, no more lies I wanna be with you for the rest of my life Things haven't been the same I know i'm to blame I was at a different place I wasn't thinkin straight to be real I forgot how to feel you wern't lovin me and treatin me right yo ignored me so... I found somebody I thought just might show me some love show me they care didn't realize I should of tried and fix what was already there It was right in front of me you me we were a team I lost your trust lost your respect I almost gave up on us but i'm not finished yet You chose to stay and i'm thankful for that I love you and I'm sorry for each tear you shed lets move forward now leave the past in the past you are my boo
our love... we can make it last
If I show u emotions that means I still care The fact that I ignore you and laugh in your face Just tells you I'm through I wouldn't give you the time of day even if it was for a dare You mean nothing to me Why can't you see The day you fucked up Is the day I opened my eyes and woke up You were never my friend only wanted to see my demise I could always tell... with my stories of happiness you wanted me to fall your heart was filled with envy for what I can't explain I was always there for you bitch when that nigga had your heart in pain it's cool now the feelings are gone I'm doing me now I hope you're doing the same Just know that the emotions are gone when i see your face i just think and remember a time when i gave you a place a place in my heart You didn't deserve it not even from the start I gave you your chance You are released now Your petty shit don't stand a chance This is my final goodbye you see, after all your shit I still survived you'll get your day find the next bitch to fuck over
cause the emotions you want from me don't exist
WTF am I doing here As I come to a realization on this love and how it has bought me to this sad and long, and what seems like a final destination WTF I don't deserve this shit How the fuck did I get myself into this I've realized that our lives will never come together That hurts But we come from two differnt worlds and it will never work All I wanted was to be loved and you just worried bout hangin out with them fake ass thugs Thats alright I'll move on It may be hard but one day I know I will move on... to something better But for now i'm stuck I need you Just a arm to lean on like a cane and just like a person on a cane i'm tryna get better Just remember... I wont need a cane 4eva WTF
Lik e an Eagle
I will soar like a eagle no mater what you may think yea i've fucked up and made my mistakes but its a new day and i'm a new me my light is shing bright now no shade tryna cover my glow I guess you have to live and hurt a little in order love and let go That's exactly what i've done new memories have begun no time to linger in the past What was done is done that past is the past!!
She cant take it anymore she's fallen to her knees Her body is feelin weak Like an old twig on a tree No longer can she hold up her face The one that smiles at people and tells em she's doin okay She tells em she's fine and she's on top of her game On the outside lookin in you would think the same Good job, new clothes, money and cars What more could she want If you really looked in you could never understand Her other face she has is strained with pain Never feelin like her love is enough Waiting for somebody to be there for her When HER shit gets tough Thinkin bout the ones she shows love Wishin they could return it instead of draggin her heart thru the mud Her other face would break your heart Never have you seen anything so sad... so dark... Like a bottomless pit with no way out She's looking for a shovel trying desperately to find her way out There's nowhere to go The pain is too deep There's nowhere to go No one to hear her muffled screams She's screaming for change Screaming for the lord to come and take her pain away They fall on deaf ears She falls to her knees... The pain is easing now... who would have known that this now empty pill bottle
would help her find... her everlasting peace
My B aby T ells Me
My Baby tells me that its nice and round the perfect shade of brown it sits just right under the arch of my back It's soft to the touch Thats why he loves it so much He knows he better hold on tight When I back it on up It hypmotize minds On the dancefloor he can't take it It gets a mind of its own when it start to bouncin and shakin It's known to turn heads them boys, they try and holla I smile and tell em its taken and let em know...i get it from my mama I wanna thank my mama for this pretty round brown My baby cant get enuff He likes to kiss it he likes to rub it and all kinds of crazy stuff! Thats good enuff for me This round brown is all by baby needs you c it don't just benefit me It fufills all my mans needs!
Ja ck Daniel
It's been a long day You need to relax At work, they gave you 10 hours nothing fair every comes you way Another problem, afraid to solve em You take comfort with Jack He'll ease your mind He always does One problem, two problems Will you look at that! With Jack, they leave your mind and disaper like a magic act. But thats not enough Jacks the weak stuff it's only a matter of time that you'll finish with Jack and find another kind By now your friends are leavin Jack made you happy But now he got you cussin and screamin They don't know what happened its hard for them to stay and look at your once beautiful but now bloated face There's nothing they can say cause Jacks the only way Another problem, afraid to solve em maybe you will anotha day
Sweet Dr eams
Emaculatley polished he walks through the place Rugged good looks and Timberland boots He caught me looking with a sexy smirk on my face He looks right at me my legs get weak He flashes a smile sending sparks between my knees He walks closer to me My heart skips a beat Damn, he got me trippin! What will I say What will I do? I just met this man What will he think of me? What the hell! Men do it too Imma just keep it safe and make it do what it do I want this man to feel him inside of me touching my walls taking him deeper than the red sea I want him on top of me now in...out...in...out he's found his pace I want him to slow down so I can take his place I wanna slowly climb on top and kiss his chest Then ride this man like im in the final lap of the Kentucky Derby Race Ooh baby yeah...I found my spot Got me all caught up Didn't know he had stopped I'm not finished yet Had me wanting more I snap right out of it out of breath and in shock my hot dream has become a nightmare Making my sweet dream suddenly stop.
Lik e Magic
This pen becomes magic as these words flow from my head down thru my arm thru this pen I take you on a journey through my mind I like to call "my land" There are many stops on the way more or less depending on my thoughts or my mood for the day I might take you to a place so bright you loose sight Watch out now these words i'm spittin commin at you from the left and the right The next stop may be dark it might get too deep Shit, it's dark to me and some of the shit I been thru is too deep for me. Come join me on the trip thru "my land" neva know what you'll see This pen in my hand aint magic I guess the magics in me
LAUGHIN A T Y OU!
I laugh at these silly women Thinkin that somehow their thoughts must consume me They figure my world is so small that I possibly couldn't have evolved! I sit and laugh out loud at the words they say Knowin I could care less about their thoughts, their opinions Even if it was just for one day They get no time No time to consume my mind I leave that space for love, and peace Not old dramas, not old lies These days my mind is at ease! I've opened my eyes, I see whose been fake, whose been true YEAH SILLY WOMEN I'M LAUGHIN AT YOU
I'm not confused I'm not mad or angry I know I'm fed up but where do I go from here? I'm not scared of being alone in fact, the thought seems nice I now know where I want to go and who I want to be I guess the only person holding me back and stopping things is me
My Cly de
He is my Clyde and I am his Bonnie Never in my life have I felt this before A feelin so strong I can't describe it How he makes me feel? just makes me excited. Never knew another person could attach themselves to a soul He has captured my body from my heart down to my toes He makes me complete He makes me smile this man! my Clyde! Makes my heart jump on the insides Without him I might as well die There will never be another Clyde Because I'm his Bonnie and I plan on ridin till we die!
What I'v e B een W aitin F or
It's been a long time since i've felt you here. I see your face, embrace your taste, always knowing instantly that its only me that can bring a smile to your face. Its getting warm in here as you caress my body I feel you growing your manhood gliding over my body You know what I like. You tell me if i'm a good girl... tonight you just might... I see you laughin I can't take no more I feel your breath blowing on my thigh This feeling is taking over I'm about to loose control You part my lips and get started on what you came here for You start off slow taking your time My sweet P is swollen now as you lick me round and round You hold my legs and calm me down You take me by surprise I feel you grindin me now Long stroke, I love it you haven't missed a beat All inhibition is out the window you suckin on my feet When its all said and done neva had a feelin this strong It's been a long time coming Next time don't make me wait so long
Sp in Cy cle
My life is like a spin cycle... turnin me out up and down, round and round I can't find my way out Whose gonna save me Will I ever find out it's only up to me... i'm the only one who knows... what i'm talking about
I've searched high and low, far and wide for the perfect place. The place where i feel I belong. Some people are born knowing exactly where their place is. Some search their whole lives looking for it and never find it. There were times I felt i'd found the that "perfect place", but deep down inside... I wasn't happy. It sent me back on my journey looking for a place that I fit in and felt comfortable. It's been on my mind for a while now to figure it out and I keep asking myself the same question,"What place am I talking about!" The truth is I DON"T KNOW!!!! All I know is that in my eyes I am happy...It may not seem that way to others close to me but, I AM. I know what I want in life and I know where I want to end up! I may face a few road blocks and have problems getting pass them...but I WILL! That's whats so great about me!! I will keep it moving whether people looking from the outside in actually think so or not. I've found that it's not my job to keep up appearances and to behave and feel how everyone think I should. I don't have to fit in or conform to peoples standards. I know now that I didn't have to look far to find my place because "My Place" resides in me!!
Fel l I n Lo ve W it a B oy
I fell in love with a boy Not yet a man... had my young ass sprung with jus the stroke of his hand Those times were long ago, still tryna hold on, the memories of late nights in your arms, not wanting to go home. You'd say good bye then I'll say see you later, you'd pull me in your arms and my lips you would savor... I laugh now cause you know and I know That shit didn't stop till 20 min. later! I didn't care, with my curfew and all... you were worth it. to me, you were my heart and you were my all. Today that still stands true. I fell in love with a boy not yet a man... It's been some years now and I laugh cause some things never change The love is still strong although it has evolved... We have our good days and lord knows we've had our bad ones but we've come to learn, that everyone has their pitfalls. You've been there to lift me from mine and to you the same...I try and give you my all! I fell in love with a boy not yet a man.... I say that now because he's not just a man... He's my man!!!
Ev ery one I s a Friend Until They Pr ove Ot herw ise
To me, a friend is someone that has your back and will stand by your side no matter what the circumstances. Loyalty, trust, respect...those are some of the words I live by. It hasn't always been easy to do so, and I'm woman enough to admit it. These days a lot of people seem to take those words for granite. People walk around not knowing who to trust. I know a lot about that, because I'm one of those people. Every woman dreams of having that best girlfriend that they can share their deepest most inner secrets, things they wouldn't dream of telling just anybody. Someone to go shopping with to give you an honest opinion on the leopard print pants you've been dying to have. Lets face it...as a female in general, it's important to have that special someone you can lean on. What do you do when you finally let a person in and they betray you in the worst ways?? Well I don't know the answer either and I've been trying to figure it out FOREVER!! You know...you kind of see the signs leading up to it but you don't really acknowledge it because you keep telling yourself that, "nooo, they wouldn't do me like that!" Well...those have been my favorite words for so long and then....!BAM! It just hits u in the back of the head and when you realize what's been done you're like..."Damn, I should of seen it coming!" Do you confront the person and let them know how you feel? Do you not even bother because if they really were your friend, they would know how you would feel after anyone did anything as trife as they did? Or do you just let it go and leave the toxic person alone altogether? After it happened to me, I just let the person out of my life all together...Not before I let that B**** have it!!!! (lol) I ask myself..."Was I wrong? Did I do something to bring this about?" NO I DIDN'T. Friends don't back stab each other...if they have problems they work them out like women...not start unnecessary drama! After the dust settled from the battle..... I'm still good. I didn't stumble when I could have failed. I am a fighter. I am blessed. I say that because even though my faith in having friendships with women outside of my family has been slightly tarnished, I know that one day I will have that "girlfriend" I've always wanted. I'm not complaining now because I have friends. They've been better to me than anyone else I've ever known. I may not act like I appreciate them at times...I am the bigger sister (lol) I was blessed to have the most awsomest...yea awsomest!...sisters in the world. It's not everyday that siblings can call themselves best friends. I'm thankful for them and wouldn't trade them for the world. In the end, I thought I had friends but, they've all proven otherwise. I'll live on....
4 Gir ls
There are alotta women in my life...I decided to write this not b/c im puttin nebody on blast...including myself, i just hope that some will read and maybe open their eyes to wat im sayin
True Story .... .. There were these 4 girls Smart, beautiful, strong, independent women. All gifted, Until man entered their world Had em all on they toes had em all thinkin they found their golden ticket. Who would have ever thought...hmph that ticket they were gettin was full of a bunch of lies and a heartache that couldn't be forgiven Now they were strong women! Not easily broken they tried to hold their ground but got caught up in their emotions. All their stories were the same but, you couldn't tell them! All you got was "Unh Uh! my man and yo man aint the same!" "Yea he make me mad and call me names... but he'll get through it. His daddy was the same!" He ain't like that man! Neva will be!" They all said the same line until one by one they on the phone callin each other talkin bout... "That motherfucker just hit me!" Now all hell breaks loose! She don't know which side to choose They love each other dearly but that man...
she just can't give him up that easily. Now everybody's a judge like they've always known right from wrong "Girl you stupid!, You betta leave his dumb ass alone!" They're the same ones that just the day before was cryin and had you tellin em the same thing. On your shoulder, through your phone! But her shit aint the same! These four women learned to live and try to cover their shame. You see, they stayed with these men who still treated them the same One day these women will wake up and remember, that they are still smart, strong, and beautiful. They will once again shine like a new candle flickering in the night of a cool December
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