Family pension for Muslim Terrorists in Kashmir and Christian Terrorists in NE January 28th 2008 From: Pioneer Date

: 28.01.08 Family pension for jihadis This chat was downloaded from the web. It is a conversation that took place between the commander of a jihadi outfit and a middle-rung functionary operating somewhere in Jammu and Kashmir. To mask their personalities, we decided to call them jihadi 1(J1) and jihadi 2 (J2) respectively. J2: Salaam Waleiqum Boss, I have bad news to report. Infidel dogs of the Indian security forces have mounted a great deal of pressure on our jihadi groups. As it is, the cold wave in the Valley is at its peak. It has snowed all over and made movement difficult. The local population is less scared of us than before, so we are having trouble finding safe houses. Worse, we are having great difficulty recruiting. In spite of all our brainwashing efforts and sustained Pakistani support, we aren't getting enough locals to act as informers or porters. Even our hardcore people are getting frustrated and want to go back home. Tell me, Boss, what should I do? Really need your guidance now. J1: Waleikum Salaam. You have turned out to be a real bewaqoof! Whoever made you Area Commander? I need to have that fellow's head examined, besides yours. Obviously you don't follow the news. Haven't you heard what the Indian Government has announced to help our jihadi cause? J2: Indian Government is going to help us? I don't believe this! What are you saying Boss? Please don't communicate in riddles. True, I have been too worried about logistics the last week, having lost several boys in encounters with Indian forces. So, I haven't been able to keep up with the news. Please tell me. J1: Listen properly you idiot. The Indian Government has made recruitment much easier for us. They have offered such attractive terms for jihadis that we won't have to send you assorted Afghans, Chechens, Sudanese and other outsiders. You will be able to recruit all the boys you need locally. I think they will queue up to join your ranks after last week's announcement. You should go from village to village giving the good news and reassure families of the boys already with us, and those who are likely to join us soon. J2: Sir, please don't keep me in the dark any more. Tell me what is the great bonanza the Indian Government has announced. J1: The Indian Government has declared that it will pay compensation to the family of every jihadi killed in encounters with security forces. I don't know yet if this means that the families will get a monthly pension or a hefty one-time compensation. But whatever it is, do you realise its significance? In my 10 years of service in different countries, Afghanistan and Chechnya particularly, I have never come across a Government that

actually rewards us for killing their boys! This is quite incredible. It can happen only in India. It will make our recruitment drive so much easier. Now you guys spread out all over and tell villagers that enlisting as a jihadi is as good as enlisting in the police or Army. The service conditions are probably better with us. They will not only get regular salaries from us, but also opportunities to travel the world. Whenever we plan terror strikes outside India, we will consider sending them to places like Spain, Britain, Australia and other such countries. Of course, they may have to do stints in Africa and Russia too, but we will ensure they don't only get hardship postings. And who knows, as our terror net expands and we succeed in infiltrating into the US in big numbers, they may even get a chance to take part in something like 9/11. J2: But, Boss, these service conditions exist already. What's new? We are currently offering new recruits a great package, much better than what we got. In fact I have mentioned my salary hike issue to you several times... J1: Khamosh, budtameez! How dare you bring up your salary issue now? You are supposed to be working for a Great Cause. When you die fighting in a jihad you will get to heaven and have a pick of the choicest houris. But think of the future recruits. Now they can join our ranks, kill Indian forces at will and when they are eliminated in encounters, they would have died happily in the assurance that the Indian Government will take care of their families. J2: Yes, Boss. It is a great offer. You are right we will be able to cajole hundreds into joining the jihad from now. Potential recruits were always worried what would happen to their families when they got killed. That's a worry that's gone forever. But tell me, Boss, what's wrong with the Indian Government? How could they make a promise like that? Won't people in India get outraged? J1: The Indian Government has always been very considerate to jihadis in Kashmir. Don't you remember the time when quintals of delicious, mouth watering biryani was ferried into the Hazratbal shrine in Srinagar where our boys were holed up for a few weeks? The boys got so used to biryani and kabab that they didn't want to leave! And as for public opinion, no Government in India cares about such things. Indian people are very docile. Everyday Maoists are killing dozens of security forces, but the Home Minister says that terrorists are poor, misguided youth! Remember the Parliament attack of December 13? So many Indian policemen died saving their leaders, but even now compensation has not been given, their family members don't have the jobs they were promised. Does anybody care? I am telling you, our sympathisers in the Indian media will soon start agitating to improve the compensation package offered to jihadis. They are all very considerate towards us and dead against their o wn security forces. J2: You are right Boss. After all, when they released Azhar Masood Sahib, a top Minister even escorted him and his fellow jihadis back to Kandahar. I remember that very distinctly. Those who cried hoarse asking for his release, holding placards on Delhi's

streets that time are now blaming the earlier Government for being chicken! It is a funny country, I must confess. Oh my God! Gunfire! I think the infidel dogs have discovered my hideout. I have to get out, Boss. Don't worry, I will launch a big recruitment drive very soon and explain the Government of India's generous compensation scheme. I assure you big success. Shukriya Boss. J1: By the way, the State Government has started another programme to help us. It is going to kill 50 dogs in the next few days so that they don't bark and alert the security forces. I think they will gradually massacre all dogs in the Valley so our boys have a free run. J2: Indian Government is great Boss! With enemies like them, who needs friends? (The facts mentioned are real. The conversation, needless to add, is imaginary.)