You are on page 1of 4

UPDATE #5 I came for the food. I made the right decision. I shall return… for the food.

And the weather is not ½ bad… did I ever mention NO SNOW? Plus it is cheap. Plus it is really set up to cater to old, bald, fat farang; I refer to transportation, accommodation, and infrastructure. Thus far, I have spent time in (or will be spending time in
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Bangkok Pattaya Bangkok Chiang Rai Bangkok Cha Am Bangkok 8. Den Rat (I mis-heard the name of this place previously and called it “DAYLAT” when I wrote about it in Update 4) I actually found this rather god-forsaken village on Google Earth. 9. Bangkok 10. Cha Am 11. Bangkok 12. Ao Nang (wonderful seaside city in Krabi Province) 13. Bangkok 14. Lampang 15. Bangkok

The only meals I have NOT enjoyed are the ones that were Western-oriented: Christmas Turkey Dinner in Cha Am comes to mind. It was OK, but really BLEAH! Thais eat with a fork and spoon (although chopsticks are ubiquitous.) Shovel the food onto the spoon using the fork, ladle on some spicy stuff, then put spoon in mouth.

NO WAIT… that’s how I do it.
Thais are far more delicate in how they eat. Put a small veggie piece on spoon, then some rice/noodles, then some meat which has been minimally dipped into a spicy condiment, THEN move gracefully to mouth and savour the flavour. Thai food has so many subtle nuances, each manifesting itself on your taste buds in sequence. Awesome! “Ta! Ta!,” I am continually admonished. (SLOWLY SLOWLY = Ta Ta) I learned early in my eating time here to follow 2 rules:
1. DO NOT ASK WHAT THE FOOD IS 2. DO NOT TRY TO GUESS/IMAGINE WHAT THE FOOD IS

MOSTLY, I have succeeded. However, I have not been able to bring myself to partake of some of the delicacies which my Thai friends chow down with such gusto. I will show pictures and comment on those further on. I shall now regale you with text and pictures related to THAI FOOD.

FOOD THAT I LIKE TO EAT AND THAT I UNDERSTAND
PAD THAI is fried rice noodles, which is almost a national dish. It varies from cook to cook. An on-street vendor will charge 25 ! which is less than $1. In fancy restaurants, the same dish (quantity and quality) goes for $5. It is a rice noodle dish, with eggs, fish sauce, tamarind juice, red chili pepper, plus any combination of bean sprouts, shrimp, chicken, pork, garnished with crushed peanuts, sugar, coriander and the juice of lime. It is usually served with scallions and pieces of raw banana flower. Spiceness varies. VERY SPICY = peek mak mak (I order my food like this) A BIT SPICY = peek nik noi NOT SPICY = peek my ow (how most farang order… if they know how to say it!) Ken McKee is nicknamed PadThaiKen since he orders this dish so often. PAD = fried KHAO PAD which is fried rice (rice = khao, pronounced cow) with accompaniments that vary from cook to cook. This was breakfast for me at a local BKK restaurant: khao pad with egg, goong (shrimp/crayfish) and salad (a generic term for raw vegetables). There may be some pork and/or chicken added. A great way to rid oneself of leftovers. The little red innocuous looking garnishes are incredibly spicy peppers… same same jalepeno. Almost all Thais pull the peppers out of their food and discard them… the spiciness remains… although somewhat subdued. If I inadvertently eat one of the little suckers, I get the hiccups. A spoonful of rice puts out the mouth fire, and the hiccups disappear in a minute or so. The green cylindrical veggie is what I call Morning Glory, and it is one of my favourites. The “soup” cup holds coffee (instant) with the equivalent of Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed milk. Unfortunately, I have a sweet tooth and can slurp down many cups of this stuff. SHRIMP DISHES

barbecued pull off head, shell, dip in spicy sauce

immature, raw, marinated in Khao Lao Shovel into mouth with spoon… TOO CRUNCHY Very bad rotgut rice whisky = Khao Lao

large, raw, shelled, eaten with incredibly spicy dip.

SOUPS I HAVE GROWN TO LOVE eaten with khao MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE DISH

Whole fish cooked over a charcoal brazier, with veggies

Pork cooked over a charcoal brazier, with chicken broth and veggies FRESH FRUIT

TOM YUM SOUP is made of stock and lemongrass, kaffir lime leaves, galangal, lime juice, fish sauce, and crushed chili peppers. This is a seafood style with shrimp, fish, and squid.

MANGOS… the best

Incredibly sweet and juicy 20 ! each (70¢), sliced up ready to eat BARBECUED RAT
skinned & split from knave to chaps then done to “perfection” over a charcoal brazier

Mango (sweet) with sticky rice (sweeter) and coconut cream (sweeterest) ADDICTIVE Upwards of $2 per dish

fresh off the bush bananas 10 ! a bunch (35¢)

FOOD (I use the term cautiously) I CANNOT HANDLE, LET ALONE EAT (GAG) SUN-DRIED ROAD-KILL TOAD SUN-DRIED YEAR-OLD FISH

I actually ate one of these. Kinda chickeny. I was likely drunk.

I think these were crossing a highway and were flattened MANY TIMES by 18 wheeler trucks, then scraped off the pavement a year later and passed off as “food”.

Often the heads are left on

MISCELLANEOUS TOO MUCH BOOZE

HOT SPICY CONDIMENT Shrimp and veggies

Hong Thong whisky (terrible) Lao Khao (frikken lethal) Leo beer (refreshing, actually)

There are a multitude of reasons why I really enjoy my stay in Thailand. In case you missed it, FOOD is nigh on to the #1 reason.

Fish with veggies, bbq pork, beer, spicy soup