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TANK WITCHES: TREAD BOOGALOO - ROUND ZERO

There is a female voice that penetrates your dreamless sleep... "Colonel, you can't sleep in all morning, today is the day you are finally given command of the 101st 1st company! Aren't you excited !et up!" the voice says as someone sha"es you in #ed. "$gh." is all you can manage as you rise out of #ed, trying to ru# the fog out of your eyes. %ou go put on your service dress... &hich doesn't seem to fit all that 'ell anymore, #ut you 'ill have to deal 'ith it, as you don't have anything else appropriate at the moment. "( heard the last of the 'itches have arrived, if you hurry, you might catch them #efore they start feeling each other up." The short #londe 'omen says... )he loo"s oddly familiar, #ut you cannot remem#er in your current state... %ou gra# your trusty &e#ley *" (+ service clu# er ")ervice revolver" and head ... &ait 'here do you head ,As" the #lond ,-on't as" for directions ,&here the fuc" am (, 'here the fuc" do ( go, and 'ho the fuc" are you "%ou are Colonel .ent of the ne'ly formed 101st /an0erhexe 1ehr division, the #est troops, training, and e2uipment that earth can provide. ( don't "no' if ( should #e offended, you calling me your aide %ou don't even remem#er your old friend ( guess some#ody at your age can get a'ay 'ith faulty memory. They are pro#a#ly milling a#out in the mess hall or may#e in the hangars.." 3nough fog has cleared from your eyes to see that it is indeed an old friend, one you even served 'ith in 4rance during the #lit0. !od it is good to see the *a5or again.. ,&hat no' "&ell, ( could go for some tea... And did you call me old " "%es. ( am in my t'enties, you aren't. ( hear that 6erry ma"es good coffee, especially at this time of day. &atch out though, one of the 'itches is vicious..." *ile's trails off.. " ( am needed else'here though, so ( 'ill leave you too it. 7eed to go to !loucester for a command meeting. !ood luc", you 'ill need it." ,8h #oy here 'e go As you approach the mess you come across a 9ritish commando, at least someone dressed li"e half of one... The upper half that is. )he hasn't noticed you yet as she is too #usy having a smo"e. )he has short #ro'n hair, a slim, #ut tall #uild :And a decent rac";. ,&hat do 1uc"y for you, you actually read the roster. "*orning Captain..." :&ell fuc", you cant remem#er &<(C< &(TC< captain it is...; "/ine=coffin." &hat... "Captain >uth /ine=coffin /ara='itch. ( 'ill #e serving in your third platoon Colonel." )he says as she loo"s your 'ay. ".... %es. That is my last name."

you loo" around and see four #odies in #lac" !erman=issue pan0ertruppen uniforms. all sitting at one ta#le eating 'hat loo"s to #e a #asic #rea"fast of eggs and toast. and head over to the ta#le.nispel.. %ou couldn't tell 'ho it 'as 'ith all the food che'ing and 'hatnot. shoulder length platinum=#londe hair and #lue eyes : ( s'ear not everyone has #lue eyes.. pale s"in .")o 'hats for #rea"fast " ")ome "raut is ma"ing it. you can do 'hatever you li"e" one says. "1ess >ussians then ( expected. you smell only the s'eet s'eet smell of coffee.lara starts to ru# her temples. Au#urn hair and #lue eyes . the pale one. our local . and one in a light #lue uniform that you don't recogni0e right a'ay. you can see insignias from this range." .. &hat the hell is schnit0el any'ays &hy do you as" non=rhetorical 2uestions to yourself %ou gra# a plate. ( am going to go to sleep. fill it full of delicious eggs? n toast. #londe hair and green eyes :pic some'hat related. 7o' that you thin" a#out it. you have no idea 'hat they even eat other the sauer"raut and schnit0el. "%ou outran" all of us Colonel. . tossing the #utt of her cigarette over her shoulder As you enter the mess. green eyes. "The colonel is out of your league (lta. &ould have improved 'itch morale.raut 'ith das assets. 9eside me here. As you get closer. )he goes to 'iggle her eye#ro's 'hen she is 5ammed in the ri#s 'ith the el#o' of the . ('m 1t . again.. " <o' are you dealing 'ith a mixed unit love " you say as you loo" across the ta#le at the 4inn. as you get closer you see it is a 4innish army uniform.:and the lac" of clothing on the #ottom half. ( 5ust 'ish 'e had a loo"er li"e you in <eeresgruppe 7ord.Captain 'ith an athletic #uild.. t'o Captains and a trio of 1eftenants "*ay ( sit 'ith you ladies " you as".Captain 'ith a light #uild. she 'al"s a'ay. Captain 9ar"mann is on your left flan"...." And 'ith that.. .&hat do %ou 2uestion 'hy a !erman coo" 'ould ma"e only eggs and toast. had to escort transports all the 'ay here from /ortsmouth. As you prepare your tea.Tal" to 'hich 'itch . . Captain &ittmann on your right. And. 'ho finishes che'ing and s'allo's. short #lac" hair and #lue eyes . short #lac" hair.lara ...1t 'ith another athletic #uild. supreme frontal protection..1t 'ith an average #uild. "And last #ut not least is our o'n 1t 3ma Tarca0y. and ('m not going though that again." )he replies. 'hich offends your tea= drin"ery=self to the core.1t 'ith smaller #uild." she nudges the 4inn again" (s 1t 1ita (lom@"i.. %ou effortlessly slide into a seat next to one of the captains.

&ith a top speed of IJ"mKh she 'as surprisingly fast for her si0e. you 'ill either need to deal 'ith it.. 'al" into the "itchen. #ut needing a G man cre' made her a #it of a 'hore:insert 5o"e a#out G men in a tan" here. %ou remem#er seeing her hull GHmm gun rip martian 'al"ers apart. .. And she isn't paying you any attention. have you heard a line delivered 'ith such a lac" of emotion..&ut no' "-id you 5ust tell me ho' to en5oy my tea Captain " %ou turn to #ring your ga0e to #are upon her. #ut you are at a loss for 'ords. as if the 'itch 'as a god damn alien ro#ot or something.. ")o . olive dra#. . "(t's almost a ritual no'. and leaves the hall. she has some pro#lems on ho' lax chesty here can get 'hen off duty.Time to #ugger off %ou head off to'ards <angar C. painted the #est colour.nispel has alot more "ills 'ith the ne' Ausf 3 /an0er +(. and head to'ards the sti"er#a.. if you are done 'ith your #rea"fast. %ou round the corner and see that the hangar contains many an armoured #east. #ut ( don't s'ing that 'ay.. "%ou #etter eat that 'hile it's hot. as she is too #usy "eating" these runny eggs. /ardon my earlier advice ColonelB ( did not mean to offend. 'ith 1Dft E inches of length. ( #elieve the rest of our unit is inspecting the stri"er #ays.. %ou shuffle over too it and ru# it's side armor. ( may #e attractive.nispel. %ou end up follo'ing the advice and drin" do'n your tea n eggs. . as 'ell as the fact ." %ou go to reply.. 9loody hell. And 1ita.. love. &hittman gets up.. %ou 'ill soon get used to it. to 'here they "eep your precious. eggs don't "eep 'ell and tea is horri#le if cold.. she 'as the 2ueen of the #attlefield.<ungarian. and the CGmm turret mo' do'n martian infantry li"e the #est of them. after a fe' shouts.nispel 'as it &hat #ad #lood is there #et'een you and &ittmann 7o' that 'e are fighting against the same foe." The <ungarian raises her hand "-on't 'orry a#out it. your she's a #it heavy. Fft 'ide and 10 ft tall..." %ou get up from the ta#le.Time to #ugger off .A" "( am impressed . curse out the chef. "!uess ( should go meet them. 'hich hangar is the stri"er #ay. Than"s for the company. you managed to remem#er something other then your o'n name!" &hittmann pipes up." 7ever in your life. %ou spot it no pro#lem." 9ar"mann says in almost complete monotone. ( don't 'ant my o'n allies to sho.$gh. &eighing in at C0 short tons.. Almost immediately they get into a shouting match in !erman.

the hull for the *I )herman. %ou suppress the urge to thro' up as approach your one true armoured companion. the guys 'ho sent 'ave after 'ave of infantry against german machine gun nests 5ust to save artillery rounds.no' 'hat the #est part a#out your #a#y is 8ther then the L41Gpdr. And t'o G.I TA7." %ou turn around.(7! *. !od you feel old .) &(T< 93TT3> !$7 /1AC3*37T! %ou feel li"e you 5ust patted the head of the class retard..FJmm 9esa=machine guns The a#ility to also mount all the other 'eapons a 'itch 'ill ever need. they didn't li"e it. at least one good thing came out of you. #eing a tall #ugger. ... "%ou tried your #est. even the soviets.Too #ad the !rant suc"ed so hard #ecause of shoddy side armor. you "no'... 4lamethro'ers Chec" 4uc"=huge JF0mm mortar rounds you can lo# li"e demolition charges Chec" -ecent GHmm gun Chec" 9reastplate Chec" *a"es you loo" taller Chec" )houlder=mounted Cinch <o'it0er Chec" 9ayonets every'here Chec" 7o' if only you had #ad=ass sponson guns li"e your old *"I stri"er you had in the last 'ar. calling it the "coffin for G comrades"! And a fuc"ing hull sponson (s this 'orld 'ar one all over again %8$'+3 )337 4$C. trying to forget you ever even loo"ed at a 1ee.