FATHER ANTHONY J. FITZGERALD, S.J., JURISPRUDENTIAL WIZARD, VOL.

FIVE, DAN CORGILL BEGINS THE SHAMAN’S JOURNEY

BY ANTHONY J. FEJFAR, ESQ., COIF

© COPYRIGHT 2004 BY ANTHONY J. FEJFAR, ESQ., COIF

Dan Corgill and Father Stan Fitzhugh returned with a full stringer full of rainbow trout. Father Tony Fitzgerald was impressed with the catch. “Trout for lunch, then, gentlemen?” he asked. “Ah, sure,” said Father Stan, “wouldn’t that be a fine meal for us, begosh begoran.” “You did clean them didn’t you?” asked Father Tony. “Yes, we did. Just where you cleaned yesterday’s catch.” replied Dan. “I’ll cook ‘em up this time,” said Father Stan. “Sounds good to me,” said I, that is, Father Tony. “I’ll get the cooking gear and take it out to the cook spot away from camp,” said Father Stan.

“Alright,” I said, “I wiped out the frying pan from yesterday, it should be OK to use.” “How about pancakes for supper for a change of pace?” I asked. “Sounds good to me,” said Stan. “Me too” said Dan. The trout was great and

then we took a little siesta nap for an hour, then got up and went day hiking up the alpine valley to the north of us. Dad’s Creek was up there a ways. A mountain peak was to the north by northeast. You couldn’t hike too far up that valley though, that was literally indian country and they didn’t take kindly to tresspassers. I took my BAM 177 caliber high powered air rifle along with us, just in case we ran into any trouble.

We got back about four in the afternoon and broke out the Swisher Sweet Cigars and puffed for awhile. Like President Clinton and marijuana, we merely puffed and did not inhale. The cigars were of course tipped, not rolled and cut. After awhile the tobacco got to us a little bit. Swisher Sweets had a little something extra in them that relaxed you and opened up your mind.

“Well, Dan, we said that if you were going to make it on the law faculty at Lewistown, that you would have to develop some abilities. Are you ready to take the Shaman’s journey?” I asked. Dan looked a little bit out of sorts, as if he wasn’t really sure he wanted to do anything of the sort. “Well, I guess so,” said Dan. “Are you sure that I really have to?” he asked. “Well, you do have to” said Stan. “We won’t always be around to protect you, and to tell you the truth, wisdom requires that you develop your own abilities instead of being overly dependent on us.” “Alright,” said Dan, “I’m in.”

“Well, the first thing to work on is Quantum Tai Chi,” said Father Tony. “The trick is to center your energy in the center of your chest, and then to shift your body relative to your energy to a different place in being.” continued Tony. “Alright, how do I do that?” asked Dan. “Get some clothes from your backpack that you can ball up into a pillow and then put the pillow under your head, as you lay down on the ground.” And so he did.

“Now Dan, I want you to relax your body, breathing deeply. Breath slowly into the bottom of your lungs first. You should feel your abdomen rise when you breathe. This is called breathing into your diaphram. That’s it, good job. Now, the next part of the preparation involves progressive relaxation. Start with the toes of your feet. Left foot first. Feel your toes. Wiggle them if you can. Now, feel your toes relax. Your toes are so relaxed that you can hardly feel them. Now your left foot. Feel the blood circulating in your foot. Now, imagine that your foot is made of grey white energy. Your foot is a grey white energy cloud and is totally relaxed. Next, your calf. Feel your calf relax. Feel your calf being a cloud of grey white energy. Now the same for your knee, your thigh, your left fingers, your left hand, your left forearm, your left shoulder.”

“Now, switch to your other side, starting once again with your toes, this time your toes on your right foot, again, moving your way upward.” “Now that your legs and arms are relaxed, allow your stomach to relax, now let your guts relax, now let your buttocks relax, now let your neck relax, now let your head relax, now let your lips relax, now let your eyes relax, now let your jaw relax. You are now getting drowsy.”

“Alright Dan, are you still with me?” asked Father Tony. “Yeah, I’m OK,” said Dan, “but I feel a little bit drunk.” “It’s OK to feel a little bit drowsy, you should,” replied Father Tony. “Now, at this point I want you to imagine a grey white ball of energy about the size of a softball floating immediately above the center of your chest. Now, take your hands and touch the ends of your fingers from each hand to the ends of your fingers on your other hand. As the tips of your fingers touch, you should feel a little ripple of energy passing between your finger tips.” “You can feel that, can’t you, Dan?” “Yeah, I can,” said Dan.

“Now, Dan, shut your eyes and imagine that that grey white energy ball is floating in the interior cave created by your hands. This is a grey energy ball of being. You can feel the energy of being radiating softly from the ball.” “I feel sick to my stomach, all of a sudden,” said Dan. “Alright, that’s good,” said Father Tony, “that means that the energy center called your solar plexus chakra is shifting. That is the first step in learning Quantum Tai Chi. The second, is that it is not unusual for you to feel sick from time to time, that is nauseas.

If your lower chakras begin to shift you probably will get spastic colon for awhile. The nausea never really goes away, you just get used to it. In fact you shift your solar plexus chakra so as to avoid the nausea. The spastic colon usually goes away after awhile. But if you are having a major chakra shift in your ground chakra, that is, your anus and lower bowel, then you can have spastic colon for months. If that happens you need to adjust your diet to popsicles, pasta, soda pop, gatoraide, and well cooked lean red meat for awhile. You need to eat in spurts so as to try as best you can to maintain your regular work routine. Light breakfast, bigger supper when you can be near the toliet afterwards.

You also simply have to program a part of yourself to find satisfaction in enduring physical discomfort. Of course, if this wasn’t absolutely necessary for your physical, mental, and spiritual survival, you would be crazy to do it. So would I, so would Stan. Unfortunately it is necessary.” The forces of evil can detect a good person with Quantum potential a long way off, and are attracted to the person. Not just human being gone awry, but also occult entities which manifest off the astral plane such as secubbi demons. The seccubi are typically gorgeous and very sexually attractive, unless one is on her way downhill, or, for strategic reasons, takes on a plain jane visage in order to fool you. They are typically difficult to spot, except that often they have a mark on their body. Either a tatoo or an unusual birthmark. Look out for any woman who has a tatoo of any sort.”

“Now, Dan, to help you along in the process, I am going to merge some of my energy with your energy ball, OK?” “Alright,” said Dan. “Remember, the Quantum Ocean is everywhere. The Quantum Grid or Quantum Plane is virtually non-spacial. Thus, you can imagine that it is possible for me to project some of my grey white being energy into your energy ball. Agreed?” “Alright,” said Dan, “that makes sense.” Dan could feel the warmth of the energy ball between his hands and fingers. Suddenly, Dan could feel his body starting to shift. “My body is starting to shift,” said Dan. “Good,” said Father Tony, “that means that your Quantum probability field is shifting.

“Does your body feel lighter, kind of like its floating?’ Asked Father Tony. “Well, sort of” said Dan, “I mean I’m not really floating, but yeah, I do feel lighter.” “Now, Dan, imagine that your body, your probability field is shifting to the right. Feel your body shift to the right without moving.” “Alright, I can feel

that happening,” said Dan. “Now Dan, I want you to float your body in your imagination as far to the right as you can, without moving it. Imagine that the earth is somehow moving under you, so that relatively speaking you are moving to the right, without your body moving at all.” “Alright,” said Dan, “yeah, that’s

happening.” “Now Dan, this is the hard part, imagine that your lower guts are also moving to the right, as well as your hip bones and your pelvic bones, and, finally your anus.”

“Don’t be surprised if you start to get loose bowels.” “Try to hold it in for now.” “That’s it, I can feel you shift, and I am shifting as well. Stan, how are you doing?” “I think that Stan is asleep” said Dan. “OK, well he should be alright then. Let’s continue.” “Now at this point can you feel the valence of being on the right metaphysically, Dan?” “Yeah, majorly, I mean I feel like Attila the Hun or something.”

“Good, now remember Dan, that a right liberal is at a place on the right which is further to the right that a fascist or a nazi, and, this is perfectly ethical, can you understand that?” “Yeah, I can understand that,” said Dan, “I feel like Ronald Reagan used to feel to me when I watched him on television when he was president.” “Good, Dan, now imagine that Jack Kennedy and Bobby Kennedy, as right liberals, are even further to the right than Ronald Reagan, can you feel that valence?”

“Well, that’s confusing” said Dan, “I have never thought in those terms before.” “Well, Dan, for us right liberals, its on the right and in the right in favor of individual rights, OK?” “On the right and in the right in favor of individual rights... Hmm, OK said Dan, I guess that makes sense to me. No relativism underlying this liberalism, huh?” “Nope,” said Father Tony, “its all based upon objective metaphysics and classical science and philosophy. Liberalism is true because it is true, not because its relative.”

“Now, Dan, imagine that you are the Liberal theorist John Rawls, and you are in the Rawlsian Original Position, behind a veil of objectivity. You use the natural law ethical principles of reciprocity, utility, proportionality, and equity. On the right and in the right. Can you feel yourself locking in? Can you feel the rightness of having individual right yourself, and others having them as well?” “Yeah, I’m locking in, I can feel the justness of the whole thing, I can feel that as a right liberal I am further to the right than a nazi or a fascist, or a Stalinist Communist. Yeah, it works.” “Alright Dan, why don’t you let all of this absorb into your body, mind, and intellect, and as you do so, take a nice afternoon nap?” “OK,” said Dan. And so he did.