Abi Zara – The Role Model of Muhammad as a Loving Husband

by Mirza Ghalib Nov 14, 2013

In a hadith, Muhammad says a person named Abu Zara was his “role model” when it comes his love toward his wives. Some rare humility for one, deemed the finest man ever to be born, who never found any other man superior to himself. And Abu Zara and Muhammad as loving husband is concerned — like ‘role model’ like ‘fan’. Both lustful and heartless toward their wives! Those, who seek to study about Islam from the Internet, come across on Islamic Websites the intentional juggling and confusions in the ahadith codes from one language to other and also from one region to other. These are done meticulously by the ‘scholars’ of Islam to give only part of information or even misinformation about a particular Islamic event or story, and to prevent the readers from exploring further to get the real truth. This perpetrates ignorance about Islam among the followers of Islam like the ignorance of petulant children and prevents them from accepting that 21st century is the final ringing-bell for the destruction of Islam. Recently I’ve come across a hadith from one among the dozens of brainwashing Islamic sites, which I like to share with readers. It is believed by Muslims that prophet Muhammad was the finest human being ever to be born. And duly the prophet of Islam had never heard or seen any one superior to him. He never praised anyone wholeheartedly, except he needed or received a big favour from that person. Of such ‘humble’ nature was Muhammad! In the following hadith, we see such a rare person by the name Abi Zara, whom Muhammad himself praises as the best husband. Muhammad also took Abi Zara as the inspiration for him to become a loving husband. Please read the following quote from the Islamic site: http://rasoulallah.net/index.php/en/articles/article/5094 The prophet – peace be upon him – told Aisha in the long tradition of Umm Zara’ narrated by Al-Bukhari: I am in my love and loyalty to you just like Abi Zara’ and Umm Zara.” Aisha replied: you are dearer to me more than my father and mother, you are even more loyal and loving than Abi Zara’ to Umm Zara”. (narrated by: aisha – degree: right – the narrator: al-bukhari – the source: al-jame’ al-sahih – page 5189.) As I read the above quote, I felt that finally Muhammad have praised someone, who might had been a real gem, in following whom he loved his wife like many of us, who love our only wife. Curious enough, I started searching for more information on Abi Zara, the noblest husband of Arabia, whom Muhammad had appreciated as his “role model” in truly loving his wife. Before that I like to affirm that Muhammad could not become the most loving husband by simply copying the best of Arabian husbands, Abi Zara, because Muhammad had at least 15

‘official’ wives to share his love with. And Islamic sources – both the Quran and ahadith – make it clear that he was not at all equitable in loving his wives. There are many incidents recorded in Islamic sources about Muhammad’s unfair treatment of his wives. Here are the few incidents for your reference: Muhammad had threatened to divorce his second wife Sawda Bint Zama and she had sacrifices her sexual pleasures and offer her ‘turns’ to little Aisha in order to stay as Muhammad’s wife. Sahih Bukhari 3:47:766, See also: Sahih Bukhari 3:48:853, Sahih Muslim 8:3451 & Sahih Muslim 8:3452 Muhammad gave a favored treatment toward his beloved child-bride Aisha as compared to his other wives. When they complained about it, Aisha gave one of them serious scolding, which Muhammad appreciated, saying: “Aisha! Now you have proved that you are the daughter of Abu Bakr.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari 3:47:755) Muhammad cunningly sent his wife Hafsa bint Umar away to her father’s house so that he could sleep with her Coptic slave-girl Maria in Hafsa’s bed on the day of Hafsa’s ‘turn’. (Sahih AlBukhari 3:43:648) Muhammad had struck on Aisha’s chest that caused her pain, simply because she spied on him when he quietly escaped from her bed-room at the dead of night. (Sahih Muslim 4:2127) The list of Muhammad’s ‘unfair treatment’ of his wives is endless, which will need pages to narrate. So let us now see who was Abi Zara, the ideal Arab husbands, whom Muhammad admired and even copied in loving his wives. We can get a glimpse of Abu Zara in the following lengthy but interesting hadith from Sahih Muslim. Sahih Muslim 31:5998 ‘A’isha reported that (one day) there sat together eleven women making an explicit promise amongst themselves that they would conceal nothing about their spouses. The first one said: My husband is a sort of the meat of a lean camel placed at the top of a hill, which it is difficult to climb up, nor (the meat) is good enough that one finds in oneself the urge to take it away (from the top of that mountain). The second one said: My husband (is so bad) that I am afraid I would not be able to describe his faults— both visible and invisible—completely. The third one said: My husband is a long-statured fellow (i.e. he lacks intelligence). If I give vent to my feelings about him, he would divorce me, and if I keep quiet I would be made to live in a state of suspense (neither completely abandoned by him nor entertained as wife). The fourth one said: My husband is like the night of Tihama (the night of Hijaz and Mecca), neither too cold nor hot, neither there is any fear of him nor grief. The fifth one said: My husband is (like) a leopard as he enters the house, and behaves like a lion when he gets out, and he does not ask about that which he leaves in the house. The sixth one said: So far as my husband is concerned, he eats so much that nothing is left back and when he drinks he drinks that no drop is left behind. And when he lies down he wraps his body and does not touch me so that he may know my grief.

The seventh one said: My husband is heavy in spirit, having no brightness in him, impotent, suffering from all kinds of conceivable diseases, heaving such rough manners that he may break my head or wound my body, or may do both. The eighth one said: My husband is as sweet as the sweet-smelling plant, and as soft as the softness of the hare. The ninth one said: My husband is the master of a lofty building, long-statured, having heaps of ashes (at his door) and his house is near the meeting place and the inn. The tenth one said: My husband is Malik, and how fine Malik is, much above appreciation and praise (of mine). He has many folds of his camel, more in number than the pastures for them. When they (the camels) hear the sound of music they become sure that they are going to be slaughtered. The eleventh one said: My husband is Abu Zara’. How fine Abu Zara’ is! He has suspended in my ears heavy ornaments and (fed me liberally) that my sinews and bones are covered with fat. So he made me happy. He found me among the shepherds living in the side of the mountain, and he made me the owner of the horses, camels and lands and heaps of grain and he finds no fault with me. I sleep and get up in the morning (at my own sweet will) and drink to my heart’s content. The mother of Abu Zara’, how fine is the mother of Abu Zara’! Her bundles are heavily packed (or receptacles in her house are filled to the brim) and the house quite spacious. So far as the son of Abu Zara’ is concerned, his bed is as soft as a green palmstick drawn forth from its bark, or like a sword drawn forth from its scabbard, and whom just an arm of a lamb is enough to satiate. So far as the daughter of Abu Zara’ is concerned, how fine is the daughter of Abu Zara’, obedient to her father, obedient to her mother, wearing sufficient flesh and a source of jealousy for her co-wife. As for the slave-girl of Abu Zara’, how fine is she; she does not disclose our affairs to others (outside the four walls of the house). She does not remove our wheat, or provision, or take it forth, or squander it, but she preserves it faithfully (as a sacred trust). And she does not let the house fill with rubbish. One day Abu Zara’ went out (of his house) when the milk was churned in the vessels, that he met a woman, having two children like leopards playing with her pomegranates (chest) under her vest. He divorced me (Umm Zara’) and married that woman (whom Abu Zara’) met on the way. I (Umm Zara’) later on married another person, a chief, who was an expert rider, and a fine archer: he bestowed upon me many gifts and gave me one pair of every kind of animal and said: Umm Zara’, make use of everything (you need) and send forth to your parents (but the fact) is that even if I combine all the gifts that he bestowed upon me, they stand no comparison to the least gift of Abu Zara’. ‘A’isha reported that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said to me: I am for you as Abu Zara’ was for Umm Zara’. From the above mentioned hadith, Muhammad finds Abu Zara as ‘best’ husband and compares himself to him in terms of loving his wife Aisha. But obviously, Abu Zara was nowhere near to be a “loving husband” according to our moral standard. CONCLUSION: Abu Zara was not a perfect husband as is portrayed in the short (Taqiya) version of this hadith. According to the complete hadith, the ‘best husband’ of Islam readily yielded after seeing nice ‘POMEGRANATES’ (breasts) of another woman and married her, divorcing his existing wife, who clearly loved him most deeply. Muslim scholars show no sense of shame in using such a filthy language about a woman’s breast. After reading this complete story from the above hadith about Abi Zara, it becomes clear as to why Muhammad was similar in his love toward Aisha as Abi Zara was toward Umm Zara. It is simply a statement of fact. Abu Zara was just like Muhammad himself, lecherous and lustful, who used to marry or have sex

with any attractive woman he came across with paying any regard toward his existing wives. And just like Muhammad used to threaten his wives with divorce when they complained about Muhammad’s lust toward other women, Abi Zara too cruelly divorced Umm Zara after marrying woman with beautiful ‘Pomegranates’. It should be mentioned that when all of Muhammad’s wives joined forces and complained about Muhammad’s shameful act of having sex with Coptic slave-girl Maria in Hafsa’s bed after sending Hafsa away, he invented a verse threatening to divorce all of wives and replace them with prettier and more submissive ones (Quran 66:1-5): O Prophet, why do you prohibit [yourself from] what Allah has made lawful for you, seeking the approval of your wives? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. Allah has already ordained for you [Muslims] the dissolution of your oaths. And Allah is your protector, and He is the Knowing, the Wise. And [remember] when the Prophet confided to one of his wives a statement; and when she informed [another] of it and Allah showed it to him, he made known part of it and ignored a part. And when he informed her about it, she said, “Who told you this?” He said, “I was informed by the Knowing, the Acquainted.” If you two [wives] repent to Allah, [it is best], for your hearts have deviated. But if you cooperate against him – then indeed Allah is his protector, and Gabriel and the righteous of the believers and the angels, moreover, are [his] assistants. Perhaps his Lord, if he divorced you [all], would substitute for him wives better than you – submitting [to Allah], believing, devoutly obedient, repentant, worshipping, and traveling – [ones] previously married and virgins. In sum, Muhammad and Abu Zara were basically two sides of the same coin – both lustful toward women and heartless toward their loving and devoted wives.