Marriages - Problems & Solutions

"A marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences." -- Dave Maurer The a ove !uote contains a !uintessential truth" no marriage is perfect# and each couple has to ta$e proactive efforts in order to have harmony etween them. Let us now focus on them in depth Self-esteem issues •

If one of the spouses has a low self-esteem# it can reflect on the marriage in a num er of ways" the spouse may perceive the marriage as an une!ual match# may feel unworthy of the partner's love.

And# conse!uently# put up with the partner's undesira le this creates a sense of dissonance in the marriage and resentment.

ehaviour. %ver time# uilds mistrust and

Increasing your self-esteem cannot happen overnight. It re!uires concerted effort. It will also re!uire the support of your spouse and other family mem ers. &tart appreciating the good traits in yourself. 'earn to loo$ at situations o jectively rather than simply assume that everything is your mista$e. Try and when you feel something is not really your fault. e assertive

Is it a personality trait( Is there something a out your spouse that stops you from confiding( )larify in your mind the reason for your reticence and try to tac$le it head on. Poor conflict resolution skills – )onflicts happen in every marriage. Intimacy crisis – All marriages go through crises. *ut if you attempt to deal with crises together# you will realise that coping ecomes far more eara le and you can derive from each other's strengths. A couple might get along very well with each other. )onflict thus escalates and goes eyond the coping resources of the couple.Problems confiding – The ina ility to confide can e a source of major discord in a marriage. A marriage is considered the most intimate of relationships# and if you feel una le to open up and confide to your spouse# it will not only leave you feeling incomplete# it will create resentment# dissatisfaction and frustration in the spouse. *ut if they cannot cope with a crisis in a mature manner# as a team# the very structure of the marriage gets wea$ened. As a result# minor irritants get highlighted and small pro lems are lown into large ones. *ut some couples are una le to deal with them in a mature and reasona le manner. To avoid such a scenario# a couple must always remain vigilant as to whether the conflict is getting out of hand. True# crises li$e death in the family# infertility# and financial disaster can e immense personal challenges to an individual and call for tremendous coping strategies. It is how the couple responds to those crises that are crucial. Do as$ yourself why you are not a le to confide. .

omen need to have a clear and fran$ discussion with their hus ands regarding sharing of household responsi ilities. *ut they will have at least developed some sensitivity toward the situation- . It is just that they are not perceptive enough to realise that they are not supporting their wives y not eing actively involved in sharing some of the household responsi ilities. *ut if you find that you are getting into a situation where neither of you is willing nor a le to ac$ out# it is important to ta$e time out. . • • • • • )larifying this with them in a calm and rational manner will ma$e them aware of the situation.It is alright to have disagreements and fights# as long as you are eventually a le to resolve the deadloc$. Decide to come ac$ to the point of conflict after giving it some respite. Tal$ out your disagreements. And# in some situations# agree to disagree while finding a compromise solution. And# perhaps# you will have a different perspective. This is e+pressed through caustic comments# nagging and irrita ility# which gives rise to more difficult pro lems. Most hus ands do not want their wives' careers to suffer. Lack of sharing • This aspect is usually e+perienced y women# many of whom feel that hus ands do not contri ute to sharing the home responsi ilities as much as they should. • This leads to feelings of eing ta$en for granted# feeling stressed out in an attempt to alance home and wor$. This is not to say that they will e positive a out wanting to tac$le chores overnight. And they will at least egin to ma$e some attempts. If you are a career woman# it is all the more important that you have the support of your hus and and family.