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Act I [ROMEO is walking down a hallway when he hears loud scuffling noises] ROMEO: Oh no!

Are my dad and the principal fighting again? Those two just hate each other. *ROMEOs dad, the janitor, and the staff throw tests at the principal and the students. Then, BENVOLIO comes and taps ROMEO on the back.] ROMEO: Hey buddy Ben! (they fist pump) Look at this. (ROMEO indicates the fight). Should I help them? BENVOLIO: Nah. Actually bro, I found you a girl. ROMEO: Really? BENVOLIO: Yeah, shes hot. Shes called Rosaline. Shes in the cafeteria. Cmon. [ROMEO and BENVOLIO walk to the cafeteria, crouching behind the trash cans.] ROMEO: Wow she is hot. Well, here goes nothing. [ROMEO boldly steps from behind trash can and awkwardly confronts ROSALINE.] ROMEO: Rosaline, will you go out with me? ROSALINE: Uhwho are you? [ROSALINE exits quickly.] ROMEO: Aw, shucks. [BENVOLIO steps out from behind trash can] BENVOLIO: Its okay, man. Theyre plenty of other girls at the dance tonight*w1+ . [ROMEO thinks about this. BENVOLIO sees Romeos hesitation.+ BENVOLIO: Rosalie will be there ROMEO: Okay then! Act II *CAPULET, the principal, who is also Juliets dad, is seen picking up erasers. He sighs.+

CAPULET: Juliet needs a boyfriend to improve those Ds she has. Hmmm. (CAPULET looks around, sees a random guy) That nerd over there, PARIS, he looks pretty smart, and hes the son of the math teacher, so hell be on my side against that annoying janitor. [CAPULET walks to PARIS] CAPULET: Paris, I think you are the perfect match for my daughter. PARIS: Me? Her? Isnt she a little young CAPULET: No one else will love you. PARIS: Okay then. When can I meet her? CAPULET: How about at the dance tonight? Act III [JULIET is talking into the recording device, chin down, making her eyes look really big. Shes standing in a room filled with lots of dancing high school students and pop music.] JULIET: OMG! Is this recording? Okay. Okay. So. Hi guys! This is Juliet, but you can call me Julie. Julies so much cooler, dont you think? [high pitched squeals of laughter] JULIET: Anyways. Im at the high school dance. Im not in high school yet, but Daddy said that hell let me go cause Im his special Julie. Isnt that great? [From far away, ROMEO is seen, camera zooms in on him. ROMEO is walking toward ROSALINE.] ROMEO: Rosaline! (ROSALINE doesnt hear. ROMEO trips, looks up, sees Juliet. He sees clich hearts around JULIET in his mind. He immediately forgets about ROSALINE. He mutters to himself.) Whoa who is she? [JULIET sees ROMEO looking at her.] JULIET: (thinking) O.M.G. Romeo. Is SO. Hot! Like, OMG!!!!! And cute. Did I mention hot? [ROMEO and JULIET kiss, music plays, hopefully David Archuleta] Random person: Ewww. Random Person 2: How old is she?

[Random high school students start to loudly converse, Paris pushes his way through] PARIS: WAIT! (he frantically waves his arms) What are you doing?! Whats happening? (Points at ROMEO) Thats my girlfriend. JULIET: what? PARIS: Uh.. never mind. The point is, youre the janitors son! Random person: GASP! Random person 2: He smells like trash! [Random people start to converse again.] PARIS: No, no no! Julies dad is the Principal! Random person: What? She must be rich. Random person 2: So thats why shes at this high school dance! [Random people start to converse again.] PARIS: SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU. We are on the principals side! Juliet cant kiss him! He hired me to do that! JULIET: Huh? [Everyone looks very confused.] ROMEO: (seizes chance.) So youre JULIET? JULIET: Julie. PARIS: ENOUGH! [PARIS knocks ROMEO to the ground, and ROMEO is knocked unconscious. JULIET, screaming like crazy, thinks ROMEO is dead. She is so upset she immediately takes a tranquillizer and also falls asleep. ROMEO wakes, sees JULIET.] ROMEO: Is Julie dead? My life is over. I cant live without her. Random person: You met her for three seconds

BENVOLIO: (appears out of nowhere) True love, folks. [CAPULET and the janitor appear] CAPULET and the janitor in unison: What are you doing? [Awkward silence, as ROMEO is standing over a sleeping JULIET.] CAPULET: (quavering in anger) YOU (points to ROMEO) are transferring to some mental school[w2] ! ROMEO: (being dragged away) Julie, Ill find you one day, even if Im in a weird school. JULIET: (wakes up) No! Wait! Where is he going? ROMEO: (reaching out to Juliette dramatically) Ill wait for you! Random person: Isnt Julie supposed to say that? Random person 2: Oh well. The End.