The Bunologist

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June 2009
• • • • • • • Rabbit Talk & Bunny Hiccups Injured bunny rescued from the street Media Watch Paske – a new life for a factory farm rabbit Adopt me! Dear Diary Clarence the SUPER spy & the Gossip Guinea Pig

What’s News?
UPROAR rescues 4 rabbits from factory farm - May 2009

World’s largest rabbit dies night before TV appearance
5 May 2009 – Telegraph.co.uk Amy the Continental Rabbit, who was nearly four feet long and weighed three stone, is understood to have died of a heart attack after travelling from her home in Worcester, UK to Milan, Italy. She was due to appear on the Italian version of Record Breakers, but the excitement proved too much and she died in a hotel room shortly before the television debut. Last year, the giant rabbit usurped her mate Roberto's Guinness World Records crown as the world's biggest rabbit. Having had more than 30 babies, Amy was so big she had to sleep in a dog kennel and cost £10 to feed a daily diet of two apples, a pile of carrots, half a cabbage, fresh hay and a dog bowl of rabbit mix. Her owner Annette Edwards, 56, told the Sun of her pet's demise: "It is a mystery. She was healthy, not that old for a rabbit and the vet had deemed her fit to fly." But Mrs Edwards is now hoping that Amy's offspring Alice will keep the largest rabbit title in the family. "We think Alice is two inches longer," she said. A Guinness World Records spokesman said: "We are sad to hear of Amy's death." (It’s no “mystery” why Amy passed away at such a young age!! An overweight rabbit eating a low fibre, high sugar diet + the stress of flying = an early heart attack (BOING)

Four very lucky factory farmed rabbits were rescued by Animal Liberation group UPROAR this month. UPROAR (United Protection and Rescue Organisation for Animal Rights) is a new vegan abolitionist animal rights organisation in Australia.

“Many people don't realise hundreds of thousands of rabbits are imprisoned in bare wire cages all over Australia, millions more worldwide (approximately 865 million) just to be slaughtered for their flesh and fur”, says UPROAR. To see more photos of this rabbit rescue, please visit UPROAR’s facebook page –
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/album.php?aid=81489&id=81605898657

There are rabbit farms in most states of Australia. Some farms cage up to 40,000 rabbits at any one time. Believe it or not…. there are even rabbit factory farms in Queensland where pet rabbits are illegal!!!!! These rabbit factory farms are intensive & cruel. Each rabbit is caged in a wire box for its entire life. The rabbits at all factory farms are intelligent & affectionate – just like your pet bunny!

Rabbit Talk
http://therabbitadvocate.blogspot.com/ While bunnies are known mostly as quiet, passive animals, they actually produce quite an array of sounds. Some sounds are discreet and you have to pay close attention to catch them, others are loud and unmistakable. It's important to know these noises and what they might mean in order to better understand your rabbit or know if she is in pain and needs attention. Honking These happy little grunting sounds, called "honking," are like a love song. Often loudest and most prominent in intact males and females as they circle your feet or perform other amorous behaviors, but fixed bunnies also can make this cute noise to express affection or admiration. (Peanut is a particularly happy honker! He’s been desexed for 5 years & still honks excitedly – BOING) Purring Rabbits purr by quietly grinding their teeth or chewing air when they are being pet and are happy and content with life. Loud teeth grinding A rabbit that is lying on the ground with her arms and legs drawn in close to her body, making clearly audible chomping sounds is in severe pain and needs medical attention right away. Screaming A shrill, high-pitched scream that comes from an injured rabbit right before death. (I’ve heard one of these from one of our bunnies - Lucky. When I plucked her from the streets, she screamed & then weed on me in fright – BOING) Growling A growling sound is produced by rabbits before they attack or bite. Could be at a human, another bunny, or another animal. Often accompanied by a double front paw lunge forward. Rabbits with attitude growl when defending themselves or their territory or when expressing general disdain toward a variety of situations. Hissing Also done right before an attack and in correlation with lunging. This rabbit is angry! Thumping Thumping or drumming with the hind legs means the rabbit is aware of some apparent danger and is trying to either warn it off or warn others. The sound of the thump and the resulting vibrations in the ground would be felt by other rabbits in the wild, who would perceive it as a warning sign. When this occurs at home, simply tell your rabbit "everything's okay," in a reassuring voice. Rabbits may also thump to express disapproval or disgruntlement. (Bunnies are great internal security alarms! If a thump starts in the middle of the night & continues for a period of time, we’ll get up & have a look around to make sure that nothing is wrong. There have been numerous stories of indoor rabbits saving people’s lives from fires & burglaries! – BOING)

Squeaking I've heard multiple stories of rabbits squeaking, but I've yet to come across it myself. (I have! We were looking after a bunny over Easter who needed medication. He would squeak when I picked him up for his medicine – BOING) Snoring Some rabbits snore or moan in their sleep. These bunnies are usually on the portly side. (Not always! We have a little lop called Molly who snores very loudly when she’s asleep – BOING) Snorting Every now and then a rabbit will emit a surprisingly loud snort.

Bunny hiccups?
http://therabbitadvocate.blogspot.com/ A question from Travis J. in Long Island, NY:

Q: I have a 5 year old Dwarf Rabbit. She is in great
health - she is spayed, has a healthy diet and goes in regularly for check ups with her exceptional vet. Every so often, usually after jumping out of the cage and running around a bit, when she sits down or relaxes for a momentshe begins to twitch (her entire body). It looks similar to when someone has the hiccups. Its usually about 10 twitches lasting about 15 seconds. If I walk to her and pet her during the twitches, she stops twitching. Sometimes she will continue twitching the moment I take my hand off of her. Have you ever heard of this?

A: You correctly identified this weird twitching behavior
as hiccups, although it is strange because when a hiccupping rabbit is touched, she does stop twitching (suggesting the behavior is voluntary to a certain degree). It can be scary to see, especially the first few times, because it looks somewhat painful or like a seizure, but it's just regular old hiccups. As usual, make sure your rabbit is eating and drinking normally, in case the hiccups are being caused by disturbances in the GI tract. Other than that, it's most likely nothing to be worried about!

Bunny book
Kathy Smith and Lucile Moore, authors of When Your Rabbit Needs Special Care, have recently released a new rabbit book. A collection of 39 stories, Touched by a Rabbit puts a spotlight on house rabbits’ unique personalities and the special bond between rabbit and rabbit owner. Available online at –
http://touchedbyarabbit.synthasite.com/how-to-order.php

Near accident a lucky break for injured bunny
8 May 2009 – Inside bay area.com
Her body fur is rough and stained, her cheek fur is shaved and there are stitches where her left eye used to be. But Thumper might just be the luckiest rabbit on the face of the Earth. The end of the road for her likely would have been on a dead-end street behind an auto plant in Fremont, California. That's where a vehicle carrying College students Khushboo Chabria and Tseten Dolkar nearly ran over the rabbit after driver Chabria made a wrong turn one night late last month. Chabria stopped the vehicle to check up on the animal, which sat in the middle of the street. "We walked up to it, and it was, like, crying," she said. The bunny's face was caked with blood, fresh drops still dripping from its eye. Both students called veterinarians and animal welfare agencies, but soon realized they didn't have enough money to get it help and that the animal shelter would likely euthanize the injured bunny. So Chabria took Thumper home with her. The next day they took Thumper to a local veterinarian. The diagnosis was that Thumper had probably been abandoned and had not eaten for a couple of weeks. Thumper would also need surgery to remove the injured eye. But Thumper's luck was about to change. Mass e-mails were sent throughout the campus requesting funds to help Thumper. Within a week, Chabria had raised about $1,200. The local Veterinary Clinic also offered to perform the surgery and treat the rabbit for a discounted price. "I was really amazed at how great people were," Chabria said. "I didn't expect such a response." Thumper has now had her surgery and is recovering in Chabria's home. She and Dolkar love their one-eyed bunny, but they are looking for the right person to provide it a permanent home. "She should get a happy life," Chabria said. "She deserves it."

Media Watch
Lame Chef Australia
May – Channel Ten We heard from one of our newsletter members that Channel Ten’s new competition cooking show, Masterchef, promoted rabbit in recent episodes. Rabbit was said to be the “must have” ingredient & all the contestants had to make a meal out of it. Disgusting & horrendous that Channel Ten & celebrity chefs continue to promote pets as food. I hope that some of you who may have watched part of the episode did complain to Channel Ten & other media to express your disgust.

Bondi Vet
May – Channel Ten We were so happy to see Dr Chris Brown have a story on rabbits in the final episode of his brilliant show, Bondi Vet. The segment featured a rabbit with mites. Dr Chris took a sample of the “dandruff” on the skin to confirm it was caused by the parasite. Unfortunately, because of time restrictions on the show, Dr Chris failed to mention that many spot-on treatments for rabbits can be toxic. Rabbits also need to be weighed to accurately measure the dose required (too much can also be dangerous).

Safe - Revolution for kittens TOXIC!!- Frontline
The other spot on treatments such as Advantage are apparently safe for rabbits but only treat fleas & not mites. Never use treatments for humans or other animals on your rabbit unless your vet has approved the medication. If you think your rabbit has mites, please visit your vet.

TravelOz
An episode of TravelOz aired on ABC Television recently featured a visit to an angora rabbit farm. We were horrified to see the farmer grab an angora rabbit, then strap each leg into a separate restraint, splaying the rabbit flat on a board, before shaving the rabbit’s fur. Fortunately, the rabbit seemed fine after the ordeal but we certainly would not be advising people that this is the correct way to handle a rabbit!

Påske
By Anna, John & Olav

However Påske had to go, you see we had only agreed to foster her for three weeks, until her permanent guardian returned from overseas. If we had been unable to do this she would have to have been left in that wire cage to die, as would have been the case if the rescue took place a month after Easter. The difference made to Påske by saying yes instead of no, did make me reflect on how tenuous life can be and how much is based on luck, rather than driven by our own achievements. Yes it was very sad for us that our journey with Påske came to an end but we knew going to live with her animal activist permanent carer, was the best for her. And we can reassure everyone she now lives with a lovely family. Do I feel guilty that in theory, someone has been deprived of a rabbit meal and maybe had to have a tomato rather than rabbit based pasta sauce, emphatically no. Instead of the ten minutes pleasure a human could have had from eating Påske, another possibly kinder human will have ten years of pleasure from her company. That of course just looks at it from the selfish human perspective, as I sincerely believe the main beneficiary is not a human but a rabbit, namely Påske. This is not to deny that I too, have benefited from this rescue. I always learn from animals and find them an endless source of inspiration and mentorship as how to move forward and become a better constituent of this earth. Påske has also reinforced my belief the only differences between ‘livestock’ and ‘pets’ are the labels and the animal’s experiences. Do we plan to do this again, yes of course whenever & wherever possible. Actually in a few months you will be able to log onto our Rabbit Rescue and animal rights web site and as soon as we move to a home with a garage or spare room we will open a rabbit shelter. Thank you Påske, for helping teach us how to become rescuers. Thank you too to those young people, who selflessly went to great lengths to rescue her in rural NSW. In case you are wondering yes, all involved in this rescue realise it is not the perfect solution to this form of animal misery, we know only too well of the need for more animal rights legislation, plant based diets and compassion. However the actions taken have made an enormous difference to Påske and she is worthy of this assistance. As I said to Påske when she left “live well’, after all I know you have suffered enough in your early weeks of life. In triumph with you though I say Go Påske go.

Påske, which means Easter in my mother’s native tongue, not surprisingly arrived at Easter, in a large cardboard box. She was a frightened little grey bundle of rabbit with large ears. One of those ears had a sizeable hole in it made by an agricultural identification tag, which had now been removed by the vet. Påske you see had just been rescued from a factory farm, where she, like hundreds of other rabbits was waiting to be slaughtered. The farm was filthy with numerous dead rabbits to be found lying around in various states of decay. In fact Påske was found huddled in one corner of a cage, which was as far away as she could get from one of those deceased rabbits. She was one of the lucky five to be rescued and re-homed; sadly in the meantime the others no doubt equally wonderful creatures have met their gruesome deaths. Påske very soon recovered her appetite and devoured everything we found for her to eat. For a rabbit she did this with noisy enjoyment grunting away with excitement. Over the next few days she learnt to relax while being cuddled & even enjoy it. Even more enjoyable though was exploring our bathroom. This improved her coordination so much, that she soon loved to complete small running circuits and undertake a few binky jumps. For non rabbit people a binky is a slightly twisting jump undertaken as a sign of joy and indulgence of rabbitness. Her coat which had been strangely course on arrival became soft and silky in a few days. She became less terrified of humans and allowed us to pet her and even initiated affection to us. After all she had been through in life this was a truly touching and triumphant moment. Påske had previously lived all her life in a large fetid shed, where she had been removed from her mother after about a month. With her soft paws she was made to live in a wire cage, which is why she had problems with walking and coordination when first rescued. The rabbits are crammed onto cages in much the same manner as battery chickens, which has now been legislated against in Europe. Her monotonous diet of pellets had not been for enjoyment but to instigate unnatural weight increase. This suffering is all in aid of the farmer making more money and a few people eating or wearing a rabbit. Påske has now changed from a fearful ‘agricultural commodity’ to realise her expressive, greedy, gentle, sentient personality that has touched us both so greatly.

Please do what you can to help close this and similarly hideous factory farms by: • contacting the RSPCA and encouraging them to prosecute this farm just outside the ACT #02 9770 7555 don’t eat or wear rabbits let others know what goes on behind closed farm shed doors if you are willing to foster or adopt in these situations, contact NSW Animal Liberation at sydneyhq@animal-lib.org.au

• • •

For Victorian enquiries, please contact UPROAR at
rescue@uproar.org.au

Adopt me!
Lucy & Flopsy
Location: Sydney, NSW Contact: Natasha

They come with their two storey enclosure, which has their litter tray, water bottle and food bowls, they do hang out in their enclosure sometimes but mainly just go in to go to the toilet or eat. I also have a small travel cage for them, they are used to going in the travel cage for short holidays up the coast, but do stress a little, so I make sure they have a water bottle attached and plenty of hay for the trip, they also come with a huge portable cage, that I use for when we take them up to my parents for holidays. Both rabbits would be suited to a nice quite household (preferably with someone that has owned rabbits before) with plenty of room to run around, if they were to be housed outside, they would need a large enclosure with run, where they can have access to a garden occasionally or kept as house rabbits with a nice area of there own (and let outside occasionally for a run), as well as being able to spend time with the family (that is rabbit proof, as Lucy has been known to chew on cables). Flopsy Lucy Regretfully I need to rehome my rabbits. Flopsy is a one year old desexed female (brown) and Lucy is a ten month old desexed female (black). Both are litter trained and very friendly. If you would like any other details or are interested in meeting Flopsy and Lucy, please email Natasha at na@ssroc.nsw.gov.au or call 0402 880 895.

Chi Chi
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Contact: Sarah

Flopsy is quite shy and a bit wary at first, but once she warms up to you she is a real sweetie, loves pats and the occasional cuddle (when she is happy she flops herself on the ground, hence the name Flopsy). Lucy is very inquisitive; she is very friendly, loves pats and will lick you to let you know how much she loves you, but does not like to be picked up too often. Both bunnies love each other dearly and spend most of the time grooming each other, playing in cardboard boxes and running around after each other (they cannot be separated). They have been kept out on my enclosed veranda during the warmer weather, they are not locked in a cage, they roam around quite a large enclosed veranda and during the colder weather I have recently moved them inside where they have their own area. Both bunnies love running around and do not like to be locked in a cage, they love their fresh vegies and get excited every morning and evening when they receive their baby corn, carrot and bok choy, they also love little treats (sultana’s) when you shake the sultana tin they come running from where ever they are. Their main food consists of pellets and hay, which is available at all times.

Small, female, black rabbit 'Chi Chi' is looking for a new home. We have been caring for her after she was found wandering the streets of Carlton 3 weeks ago. We have contacted all the local vets etc but no-one has claimed her. Chi Chi is a little shy at first and will need a calm household -preferably without small children as she does sometimes like to bite fingers. She would ideally like to live indoors and is fully litter trained. She loves to chew & have plenty of space to run around. If you think you can offer Chi Chi a kind home please contact Sarah on 0425830707 or email sarahandandrewshaw@yahoo.com.au We are located in Brunswick East.

Dear Diary
This month has been more than eventful. Mid May we woke to find that two of our outdoor bunnies (Charlotte & Billy – two of Lucky’s kids) had been viciously killed by what looked like a fox attack. We don’t want to go into it too much but I do want to warn other people in city suburbs that your bunnies could also be in danger.

We’re still nervous leaving bunnies outside but unfortunately there’s nothing else we can do at present except hope that our renovations have now made this one enclosure safe. Princess went in for her dental xrays, checkup & had her back molars trimmed this month. Unfortunately, she has two small abscesses forming which are now inoperable. She was sent home with a bottle of Propercillin, needles & a bottle of Metacam (pain relief). My previous experience giving penicillin injections to Annabelle bunny (in 2007) was so horrible & stressful that I ended up handballing this task back to the clinic on a weekly basis. However, this time I succeeded on my first go! The new Propercillin appears to be thinner in consistency & much easier to inject which was such a relief. Princess seemed to not even notice my shaking hands as I injected the back of her neck. On a positive note, a lovely & friendly tv crew visited us this month from the worldwide satellite and online television station Supreme Master TV. Our performance will be aired on Friday 5 & Saturday 6 June, will feature most of our bunnies and us chatting away about all things bunny.

Charlotte & Billy (two beautiful & gentle bunnies who loved each other very much. Taken too soon & dearly missed.) All of our outdoor enclosures are heavy structures concreted into the ground, wired & insect screened all around & roofed. The thing that attacked our bunnies was vicious & dangerous. It was not looking for food but to kill. There was a lot of digging around all three outside enclosures, heavy pot-plants were knocked over & boards were ripped off walls. The thing eventually gained entry into Charlotte & Billy’s house by chewing right through the wire mesh wall, leaving a hole surrounded by its own fur. It was gone the following morning leaving two dead bunnies & four terrified survivors (in the other two enclosures). All I can say to anyone who houses their rabbit permanently outside is to reassess the housing. If you can cut the wire with a pair of secateurs - it can be chewed through. If you can push it over - it’s too lightweight & dangerous. If there’s no floor or roof - then it can be dug under or jumped over. Be super-careful & do everything you can to ensure your bunny is safe. I honestly never thought we would have experienced this kind of vicious attack in our suburban backyard but these nasty animals are out there. There was also no previous warning and the buns had lived out there happily for over 4 years! Since the attack, Lucky, Ruby, Hugo & Lily have moved inside the house with us. One week after we lost Charlotte & Billy, we had to accommodate four rescued bunnies that had come to stay. With no room left indoors, we had little choice but to reinforce Hugo & Lily’s outside house for the new bunnies. Walls were boarded up with thick exterior ply, bricks & rocks were positioned to prevent access from underneath, heavy duty steel bars were installed and two metal “safe houses” were placed inside the enclosure so that the buns could seek refuge if something attacked. We now leave the outside light on & cover up the front of the enclosure each evening so that the bunnies are not visible from the outside.

To see our tv performance online, please visit “Animal World” – http://suprememastertelevision.com/aw/ We will also post the link to our website so if you miss it, you can view it here later – http://www.boingonline.com

Bunny Clouds
The first one looks real! Not sure about the second one?!

Clarence the SUPER-SPY

A big, greenish blur flew down from the air onto the ground in front of Clarence and the team. It was a long tailed Alexandrine parrot and on its back was a little Guinea pig. He looked like a scruffy rat with uneven patchwork clothing, only that wasn’t it; he had black, brown and white spotted fur and bore a small chimbunny back sack, which you could clearly see stored a spy laptop and a spy phone. Even his ears were a bit coloured. His cheerful eyes grinned at them, as so did his squeaker. He bounced off the big parrot and strolled over to Clarence. ‘Thank you for flying Phoenix Airlines,’ squawked the parrot. ‘Come again!’ The Guinea pig grinned. ‘Don’t mind my friend Phoenix, she always says that,’ said Harry cheerfully. ‘I’m Harry, the fifteenth reporter of the Spying Times press office….’ His rapid voice trailed off while looking at the Chief. ‘And who’s this little lady?’ He grinned at Chief Guinea pig. ‘Yes, I’m Clarence,’ said Clarence hastily while pointing to all the spies around him. ‘This is Chief Guinea pig, the Head Chief of Australasian spies. And this is Peanut and Sarah, of the Boing Spy station.’ While they showed Harry through the secret trapdoor the bird Phoenix flew off into the sky. And Harry started talking about a person called Jane Austen and a book she wrote called Pride and Prejudice as they showed him through the trapdoor. They had no idea what he was talking about. It looked like Harry was liking the Chief. Soon, very soon they came into the huge underground dining room of Clarence’s hutch system. They started the interview with Clarence talking about how he fared in Spy School. As Harry typed down all the words Clarence said (even the ‘ums’) Sarah and Chief Guinea pig stood back and watched how professional interviews were done, while Peanut raided the fridge. Sarah didn’t lift a paw to stop or slap him. Later in the day Clarence started talking about his latest big missions; like the time with the BOING bunnies and the robots at the Do Hop Inn. He mentioned the time about the big Annual Car Race. Not to forget the time with the Queen and the Mr. Beaver bounty hunters and the big explosion in the Canyon of No Return. ‘Oh really, that’s something.’ Who knows what happens next. * Light globes dimmed and the power went off. Harry’s laptop even went off, although it wasn’t even plugged in? They jumped to their feet (paws) and rushed over to every electrical appliance in the whole system. Nothing was on? All electrical appliances of spy origin were off. Things not even plugged in were off. They tried seeing if there was anything outside but the trapdoor was sealed shut. ‘I think we need help,’ remarked Peanut. ‘I’ll call the Spy League.’ Sarah was relieved as Peanut raced over to the old pay phone at the end of the corridor. Phew, he’s using his brain, thought Sarah. He picked up the old, battered phone and punched in the numbers with his stubby, black paw. He put the wrong end of the phone up to his ear and the other end to his squeaker. ‘If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and go away,’ said a very casual voice through the telephone into Peanut’s squeaker. He hammered down the phone and looked at his friends. ‘No phone connection.’

and the Gossip Guinea pig.
By James Robertson Dedicated to my friends - Harry the Guinea pig, Phoenix the Alexandrine Parrot and that cucumber I was playing with the other day.

Prologue
‘Is the disruptor shield ready?’ asked Rogan. Dorsal rabbit nodded. ‘You bet it is General, I think we should try it straight away’ mumbled the engineer bunny. ‘Then let’s move out!’ A Guinea pig called Harry (pictured left) was coming to Clarence’s hutch system for a oneday interview. Harry was one of the many overworked SUPER SPY reporters from the Spying Times, the Spy League’s own personal newspaper. Harry was mostly known as the Gossip Guinea pig, because he was a huge knowledge resource and loved talking. Clarence and the others were waiting for the chattering reporter eagerly. Clarence, Chief Guinea Pig, Peanut and Sarah were all reading their books while waiting impatiently. Clarence was reading the Da’bunny Code for the ninety-first time. Sarah and Chief Guinea Pig were giggling at the funny pictures and celebrity stories of Kitty’s Bunny Life magazines. And Peanut was reading his ipod barcode. Don’t ask. They’d got a screen message from Colonel Bunny about this interview a few days before paw (hand). As they could hear the muffled beeping from the huge computer they turned their heads to see the words forming on the screen: Permission to land? *Spy-Notes: Clarence has had the big screen computer from the time he first implemented the underground hutch system. He built it with a layer of carbon metal and ultimate plastic screen layer. Clarence used all the machines and all the old computers and laptops he could find to make his computer the best spy computer ever. Clarence scampered over to the control panel and hastily typed in some words: Permission granted. Clarence, the Chief, Peanut and Sarah climbed up through the trapdoor and onto the lush grass of James’s backyard.

‘Ok, let me get this straight,’ said Chief Guinea pig. ‘Something has put an energy disrupter shield around the base and all the Super Spy devices in the base have been cut….’ She couldn’t finish as a fuzzy, crackling sound boomed out from the phone. ‘Hello, this is General Rogan, of the Victorian Order. Come out unarmed with your paws up!’ Oh no, it couldn’t be! The Super Spies’ other enemy; the Secret Order of the Mystifying Cucumber! A large group of very religious animals, who follow a god called the Mystifying Cucumber. The wise bunny is said to listen to the Cucumber god that gives him prophecies, like how the Cucumber thinks the Super Spies and Mr. Beaver are bad to the world and should be destroyed. ‘Ten minutes or you’ll be eliminated!’ Rogan warned. *Spy-Notes: The Secret Order of the Mystifying Cucumber has been going since 1353. But the last time Clarence met them was at the Dead Sea with the great machine, which would destroy all life on the planet. They scampered over to the trapdoor and peeked through the tiny slit. Six bunnies in purple gowns were standing in the backyard with guns in their paws. Clarence, Harry, Peanut, Sarah and Chief Guinea pig checked the scooter ramp, which was also guarded by the outside. They dumped their bodies in the hay chairs glumly. 6 minutes to go! ‘What do we do?’ asked Sarah despairingly. ‘If we don’t go out they’ll blow us up. And if we go out we’ll be captured for ever, or tortured.’ ‘We have your friend hostage, come out or she dies!’ Harry’s face became stricken. ‘Oh no, they’ve got Phoenix!’ he babbled rapidly. ‘We have to save her. I’m not lounging around anymore.’ He bounced off his seat and ran around in circles, huffing and puffing, not really knowing what to do. ‘What are you going to do?’ asked Clarence. Harry scratched at his ear thoughtfully….. Then, Bingo! ‘I’ve got an idea,’ he shouted excitedly. ‘None of the spy machinery works, right, but, that doesn’t mean any of the normal machinery doesn’t work.’ They weren’t following. ‘Ok, what I’m saying is,’ he pointed to Clarence. ‘Clarence do you have a coffee machine?’ Harry asked. Clarence looked surprised. ‘Well, I think so,’ he muttered. ‘I got one for a Christmas present once, but I’ve never used it.’ Without another word Harry bolted into Clarence’s storeroom. Throwing out useless things, just looking for the machine was on his mind. 3 minutes to go! Harry dragged out an old, dusty coffee maker and plugged it into the nearest power point. He flicked on the ON switch and in one minute he had a hot cup of caffeine in his skinny paw. 2 minutes to go! ‘Ok, what are you doing, Harry?!’ asked Chief Guinea pig, Sarah, Peanut and Clarence all at the same time.

Harry sprinkled some shredded chocolate on the top of the pink mug with their salvation in it. ‘You notice how I talk in a rapid voice, actually my whole body is rapid, even my digestive system is fast in processing food,’ he muttered rapidly while rubbing his tummy. ‘So when I drink caffeine my blood pressure accelerates. Thus, I go crazy.’ While they stared at him in bewilderment he quickly gulped down the coffee through his squeaker. In the few seconds they got to see him with the coffee safely down his throat, his eyes were wild, smoke hissed out of his tiny ears, and then, in an instant, he was gone. The sealed door went flying in the air, while Harry in super super fast form went zooming across the yard knocking out all the evil Cucumber bunnies! He sped madly, racing toward General Rogan who held out a deadly Blaster Gun in one paw and a trapped Phoenix in the other! Phoenix quivered. Harry didn’t stop! He tripped the General over and scooped up the gun! Then he cut Phoenix away from the trapping ropes! Clarence and the others came out later to clean up the mess. In the end General Rogan and three of the Cucumber bunnies escaped, but Clarence captured three other Cucumber bunnies and put them in the Spy League’s bad guy jail. Clarence was so astounded by Harry and his smartness that he got Chief Guinea pig to promote him. He now has his own hotline; any Super Spy worldwide can call Harry over the spy phones and get the information they require. Harry will have it, for sure. And every day at ten o’clock every spy’s phone will be called for the Harry’s Special Spy News. Thus ended Clarence’s most interrupted adventure ever. Luckily Harry the Gossip Guinea pig was there to save the day!

The End!

Epilogue

‘Ok, I’ve got Peanut and Sarah here in the studio to say a word. So guys, how did it feel to be attacked by General Rogan?’ Peanut sat next to Harry with a confused expression on his face. ‘Clarence has a big fridge.’ Sarah slapped Peanut. * ‘……Well, that concludes my first Special News update. And remember everybody, Peanut likes Sarah, I like Snowy, Clarence is awesome and the First Fleet had eleven ships.’

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