Monday . [OE. Monandaeg, f.

monan, gen. of mona MOON sb. +
daeg DAY; tr. late L. Lunae dies.]
The second day of the week. ¶ But
soft, What day is this? M., my Lord
SHAKS. Black M. , (a) a name for
Easter M., (b) school slang, the first
school day after a vacation. Sa int
M., used with reference to the
practice among workmen of being
idle on M., as a consequence of
drunkenness on Sunday; chiefly in
to keep Saint M. 1753. Hence
Monda yish a. affected with the
indisposition, often felt by
clergymen on Monday, resulting
from Sunday’s work 1804.

a
… z
2
(5th edition)
7/8/00 ( 14/8/41 (no. 8) (18/1/08. & nsrt(s) * ← DANYO RESERVE (no 53).)). On the road ….
tonight I’m parked in the Danyo Reserve 5 ks east of Murrayville. This is very much one of my private spots
when I’m travelling north west into the inland. Last time I was here I was returning from Lake Gairdner
(24/5/00) and before that I was here on 12/5/00 on my way to meet Saulius in Burra. This is where I started a
mail-art project on dog scoop cards ½ of which I posted next morning in Murrayville. That project led to the 4
poems called The Room, The House, The City, Masks. Left Melbourne about 9.30 after shopping up in
Coles where a turkish looking guy who was stacking the shelves talked me into buying a different kind of
turkish bread to what I usually get. I’ve just eaten a loaf and its much like the other. Bought a hamburger at
Lou’s Cafe in Charlton for lunch. The lady making it asked me where I was going this time. I asked her how it
was with her and she shrugged her shoulders in resignation. Her name is Maria. She makes a great hamburger
for $3.80 (post GST and with the lot). Later I pulled off the road into a bushland reserve south of Sea Lake
(where Tyrrel Creek crosses it) for a ½ hour nap. The calm of the scrub was palpable, quite extraordinary really
and I wondered if I shouldnt stop there for the rest of the day. I suppose that scientists and druggies who only
understand things that are measurable or injectable may not believe me when I say that the scrub was exuding a
calmness that you could feel. The trouble with the scientific mind set is that as you believe more and more only
in the things you can measure or weigh you may be less and less inclined to notice the things that you cant.
Then those things may disappear. On the way here I found two barn owls killed today. I’m always finding dead
barn owls since I first noticed one a couple of years ago. They get hit because they get blinded by car
headlights. Things that belong to the night cannot always survive the glare of bright lights. The barn owls have
come to symbolise for me the fragile things of the heart, and of twilights, that cannot survive the scrutiny of
reason (11/6/08. & sum thngz “cannot ever occur with any precision. They are too big and
too magnificent to be contained in mere facts. They are merely trying to occur, they are
checking whether the ground of reality can carry them. And they quickly withdraw,
fearing to lose their integrity in the frailty of realization” – Bruno Schultz ). I’ve brought
plenty of A3 sheets to write on. One side of the sheet is blank and the other side has a photo or arrangement of
photos of mine. The idea is that if you fold a sheet in half you have an A4 size piece and then when you fold
again its A5, and finally A6 which makes a convenient size for an envelope if you staple the sides. That means
you have one A4 piece and one A3 to write on; and one A6 if you write on the back of the envelope. I thought I
would use different colour inks for each section and maybe a different idea for each. I suppose you could say it
was a mail-art project meant to impress Adriana Cozzolini should I do about 5 of them. But what can I write
about when I hardly know anything about her. I’ve also got Wittgenstein’s On Certainty; Joseph
Roth’s Radetzky March; Thomas Bernhard’s Old Masters (supposed to be a comedy which is
hard to imagine with Bernhard); the King James bible which I’m keeping on the front dashboard to deter
thieves; and a book called Saint Companions for Each Day. This last cost me 50c when I bought it 30
years ago at a difficult time in my life. It cant have been a popular read even then as I notice it was reduced
from $1.05. I had thought I lost it but rediscovered it a couple of weeks ago (2/3/07. butnow¤vlosttgain) when
clearing out some shelves. It was published in 1959 by St Paul Publications in Allahabad 2 – Bombay. It is
printed at St Paul’s Press Training School on paper of newsprint quality. The compilation, consisting of at least
one saint for each day and sometimes as many as three, is by A.J.M. Mausolff and M.K. Mausolff. There is an
authors declaration which says: “In conformity with the decrees of Pope Urban VIII and of the Roman Pontiffs,
the authors declare that any account of miracles, revelations or virtues, other than those already approved by the
Holy See, rest upon human authority alone; nothing contained in this book should be considered as in any way
anticipating the judgment of the Church, but everything is submitted to the infallible judgment (6/7/07. rklaem
noelongrmaed) of the Holy See.” Todays saint is Saint Cajetan (Confessor 1480-1547) who we are told was
already known even as a youth as – “the Saint”. I have also brought my camera and a microphone and recorder
*(27/1/05. I think th piece of muzik titld ‘IMPOSSIBLE SPACES’ woz th rzult but mayb itz from nuthr
trip). I was keeping all my options open when I packed but last night it became apparent to me that I had only
one aim for this trip and that is to make one more attempt to collect my thoughts on the murder of the jews of
lithuania with a view to putting the topic aside. I have already made major efforts to leave it behind before.
Over easter a year and a half ago I made a number of entries in this journal (16/7/07. ntre 14/4/03 )
*(29/1/05. c 12/4/03 – 24/4/03 pp13, 14, 15) which were meant to achieve that. Thats what I thought
3
and wrote at the time. But the topic keeps re-emerging in some new and more virulent form. The dead cry out to
be remembered. I try to block my ears. Writing about it is part of that effort. It seems appropriate to do it on this
trip as thats what the entries for august 14
th
and august 19
th
are about. I’ve cut out the relevant sections from my
story 20/6/00 to paste in on those days. When I was at Lake Gairdner in may 99 and did the photographic
album Meditation on Lake Gairdner I again thought I had ended with the subject. So now that I’m going
back to another part of the lake it seems right to make another effort. Finally, the discovery after I wrote the
story 20/6/00 (18/3/07. no. 7 nthanthljiovm¤ 'z) that the given name of the leader of the most murderous of
the execution squads, Joachim, means in hebrew “Yahweh prepares” requires to be addressed. I made the
discovery from the Saint Companion for Each Day and its as if I found the book for that reason.
14/8 /00. St Eusebius (Priest Martyr 3
rd
century). At the time when emperor Maximian was in
Palestine, the president of the province, Maxentius had Eusebius stretched on the rack and his sides rent with
iron hooks. In the torments he was repeating “Lord Jesus, preserve me. Whether we live or die, we are yours.”
Maxentius was so amazed at his fortitude that he ordered him taken off the rack and Eusebius appealed to the
emperor Maximian but the emperor would not give himself any trouble and delivered him again into the hands
of Maxentius who condemned him to be beheaded. Reflection: “He that findeth his life shall lose it; and he that
shall lose his life for me, shall find it. (Matt. 10, 39).”
And now I paste in the excerpt I cut out from my story 20/6/00 (7/12/07. Tuesday (no 68)) for
the purpose. After I wrote and distributed the story I realized that in order to make the point clearer I should
have mentioned that the first record of children being executed in the holocaust was next day on the 15
th
august.
Over 1500 were shot in a single district during the week that followed.
19
th
/aug./41 is the day I was born in Kaunas the capital of prewar lithuania and the 14
th
of august is the
day that Colonel Vytautas Reivytis, head of the Lithuanian Police Department under the occupying german
forces issued Secret Order No. 3 - to count, gather, detain and “transport” jews. If we are to assign a
particular day for the beginning of the holocaust in europe then this is probably it. Here are the bare facts. The
leader in the baltic region was General Fritz Stahlecker commander of Einsatzgruppe A. Colonel Karl Jaeger
was in command of Einsatzkommando 3 whose area covered lithuania. On august 1
st
1941 some 90% of
lithuanian jews were still alive. By december 1
st
of the same year two thirds of them (137,000) were dead
according to Colonel Karl Jaeger’s report. The rest (40,000) were in the major ghettos of Kaunas, Vilnius and
Šiauliai where most of them ultimately perished. In no country in europe was a higher percentage of its jews
murdered in as short a time. Here I must digress a little. The capacity for murdering large numbers of humans
even without recourse to gas ovens is extraordinary. A former N.K.V.D. officer had claimed that at Katyn a
single executioner labouring with a pistol and elbow-length gloves killed most of the 4000 polish officers that
were the victims of that exercise by the communists. In lithuania the most bloody day was on oct. 29 when
10,000 jews were shot in one day in the 9
th
Fort in Kaunas. The executions of ordinary jews in the countryside
was most speedily carried out by S.S. Lieutenant Joachim Hamman’s Rollkommando. This highly mobile unit
travelled from one rural district to the next supervising the executions (and taking part) of the jews that had
been collected (or had assembled) as a result of Secret Order No. 3 issued on aug. 14
th
. According to
Lieutenant Joachim Hamman’s own estimate some 77,000 persons were executed in less than 8 weeks though
some historians dispute this, putting the figure as low as 60,000. The Rollkommando consisted of a dozen
germans and some 60 lithuanians who in turn were commanded by Lt. Bronius Norkus. The normal rotation of
personnel means that the total number involved in the unit would have been somewhat greater. In all, those
directly involved in the slaughter of jews throughout lithuania during the holocaust consisted of some 100s of
germans and some 1000s of lithuanians. These lithuanians and further 1000s that were responsible for the
execution of Secret Order No. 3 were mainly drawn from the 20 police battalions numbering somewhere
between 8.3 thousand and 13 thousand men (13/3/07. Port Germein p8).
Returning to the account of how science works. The devotees who quite understandably have been so
amazed at its magnificent achievements and have turned it into their religion have a tendency to misuse the
word ‘cause’; they say this causes that and that causes this so often that after awhile they come to believe that
they know causes; science has given that knowledge to them. And since they know they are the creators of
science it contributes to their pride and self confidence. But I want to point out that in that sequence of
instructions or manipulations which explains how something works it is a misuse of the word to say that if one
thing (instruction) comes before the other that it is a cause. To use the word cause adds nothing to what is
already told or known when the sequence is stated. So what kind of exercise are the devotees performing when
they incorrectly use the word cause to link adjacent elements in a sequence? If you think back to how the word
cause is first learnt in childhood I think it becomes evident that its primary meaning is to attribute events to a
human agency. We say you caused it, I had nothing to do with it, youre to blame, its all the fault of my parents,
4
gods will be done. Another way of putting it is to say that right from the beginning when the word gets its
meaning for us it describes an exercise of will. I suggest that the unconscious reason why the worshippers of
science have a bad habit of using the same word to describe the link between two contingent events (or to say
the first causes the second) is to give it a dignity which it doesnt deserve by attributing a human quality (of
will) to it. The proper use of the word cause is to say that the scientist or engineer causes the arrangement into
the sequence. This still allows us to take pride in the achievements of our sciences but it makes a distinction
between the kind of operation (knowledge that science gives) and the source of it. While we retain a cause for
pride by making this distinction in this way it is also a humbling experience because we do not know who we
are, or what we are, or why. If the devotees choose to restrict the definition of knowledge to what can be
answered by the scientific method (how) thats fine with me as long as they know what they are doing
(exercising their will). In that case I tell them that most of what interests me and for which I seek answers is
outside the realms of knowledge (or language) but is found in the kingdoms of dance, of devotion, of awe, of
ritual, of song, of poetry (a kind of singing), of guilt and contrition, of laughter, of wailing, of bowed head, of
upturned gaze, of ecstasy, of gratitude, of intention, of hope, of exercise of will, of thanksgiving, of sharing, of
charity, of paying what is due, of respect for the dead, of mystery, of the body, of reverence, of love, of honesty,
of visions, of decency, of acceptance and it goes on and on. However I do use the word knowledge (knowledge
in the body) when writing about these kingdoms because that is the historical use of the word. But I concede
that in these areas knowledge is difficult, or contradictory, or given and unlike in the domain of science we
make little if any progress. Perhaps we go backward in proportion as our sciences are flowering and as our
pride increases. I have to admit that I know less and less as I get older. The more closely I examine the murder
of the jews that took place around the time of my birth and during the first three years of my life in lithuania
even the little that I thought I knew disintegrates. I must bow my head. I must go to beautiful places like this to
be replenished. I must be grateful that I come in contact and am protected by such beaut people as the
Mannings of Mahanewo. Its 10.25am – I must go for a walk.
Back at 4.15pm. Walked south inland then west and back along the coast. Making an educated guess
(with the help of a weather forecast) I left the car windows open so the food which is always in the car wouldnt
warm up and left the keys in the ignition. What a great feeling to be able to do that. Adriana, is there anywhere
in europe that I would be able to get away with that? Found heaps of aboriginal scrapers and spear heads at the
back of a dune. Just as I was wondering why they would be camped by a lake that is undrinkable even when it
has water in it I found a pool of fresh water at the bottom of a sand hill. I keep a note of fresh water because I
dont carry any except in the three oranges I take for lunch. The idea is that if youre going to be careless enough
to break a leg you deserve to die of thirst. The three oranges were excruciatingly sweet thanks to the Waikerie
(on the Murray River) general store where I had bought them. Waikerie boasts that it is the citrus capital of
australia. On the way back a strange trick was played on me. A landmark I was depending on didnt appear. It
was extraordinary and I thought I might get myself into time problems and have to walk in the dark. It turned
out to have been a trick of perspective which can be very confusing here. Something I had seen in a particular
way from a hill on the land turned out quite different to my memory of it when seen from the lakebed and I
went past it without recognizing it. I’ve had similar experiences before but each new one is a total surprise.
There is a lesson in there somewhere. And here is one for the philosophy students to end off my earlier
pontifications on kinds of knowledge. Oedipus solved the riddle posed by the Sphinx and threw it over the cliff
then proceeded on to his terrible destiny.
21/8 /00 . 8am. The ice over the car is a reminder that I’m back in victoria, hope I’ll be able
to start it. I always park it so that as the sun rises through a gap in the native pine (callitris) it shines directly
onto where I sit on the bumper bar under the tailgate eating breakfast. I’ve seen all the sunrises on the trip.
Tonight I’m back in Melbourne. Yesterday in Burra I paid 105c per litre for petrol – a record. Tonight I’ll have
broken another one I’m quite proud of, I will have gone for an entire trip without a wash or a change of clothes.
I am wearing the same olive trousers, brown flanno shirt, black t-shirt with the map of australia on it (18/3/07.
¤stilhvt), smelly black underpants, brown leather shoes, and black and white striped socks I left in on monday
two weeks ago. The socks are so greasy that they stick to the soles of my feet and after they air out overnight
before I put them on their soles are stiff like paper. I scratch dandruff out of my eyebrows. Close inspection of
my hands shows that they are ingrained with various inland dusts ranging from red to greys and also black soot
from the bowl I heat water with over the metho burner. The dust is probably held in place by juice that dries on
my hands from the three oranges I eat each day. I dont wish to brag or exaggerate the importance of the
achievement. To put it in perspective I did brush my teeth twice, once before going into Mahanewo and before
calling in at Oakden Hill homestead and it is possible that last year, on a longer trip, I went without a wash or
change of clothing even longer but this is the first time I havent troubled the soap for an entire trip. I return now
5
as I started in pristine condition. On the way, whether I’m hungry or not, I’ll stop for a hamburger at Lou’s Cafe
(how many hamburgers have you made over the last two weeks, Maria?) in Charlton. I’m retracing my path,
completing a circle, it’s a ritual. Time to send the last of the saints, St Jane De Chantal (Widow 1572-1641),
marching home. When Jane, Baroness de Chantal, lost her husband in a hunting accident, she took the vow of
chastity and implored God to reveal His will and provide her with a spiritual guide. Three years later she
recognized in St Francis de Sales the director who had been shown her in a vision. Six more years were devoted
whole-heartedly to the education of her four surviving children. Then the brother of St Francis de Sales married
her eldest daughter, and the Archbishop of Bourges (her own brother) provided for her 14-year-old son. With
her two other daughters St Jane now founded the Visitation nuns at her director’s insistence, to give young
women and widows an opportunity to follow religious life even though their health precluded the ascetic
practices then prevalent in other Orders. Reflection: “Hell is filled with people who were talented; but heaven
holds those who were energetic! (St Jane de Chantal)” *(27/1/05. sh sounds like Ron Barassi).
Well thats it. So there!
11/9 /00 ( 7/9/00-16/9/00 (no.10)). Ate at the Hong Kong. Kate rang in the arvo – she had
been to the demo at the casino against the world eco congress. Helen had a minor car accident. The timing is
not convenient as Vi will probably get operated on on Wednesday.
18/9 /00 ( 17/9/00 & 18/9/00 (no.12)). Suddenly realized what Victor Pelevins Lives of
Insects is about. The RACV rang to say Helen’s car would be ready in 10-15 working days from today. That’s
in spite of the damage being minor. Its what she gets for being timid enough to have followed their instructions
instead of using the local panel beater who is really good. I told them that they better get the car here fast or
they’d get enough publicity so that no one went there again. At a time like this! I must say though it felt good to
be high and mighty. Im heading off to get my $400 from the bank and another $9,000, fill up with petrol, and
run off the story … Posted the stories: 7/9/00-16/9/00 . Read The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam with
great interest. Gave up on the Apocalypse. Joe called; he’s as mellow as ever. All the kids are calm but a time of
change is coming fast I sense. I’m in a state of continuous excitement. Bought some herbed wines: Dubonnet,
Ramazzotti, Fernet-Branco. Think I might become a wine-totaller. Losing my appetite. Decided to stop taking
the Somac which is prescribed for my oesophagitis. Tomorrow I’m going to buy in a dozen of the Ramazzotti –
wouldn’t want to risk a shortage developing. (2/3/07. aftr getn this piece LfOrVaEnCkE & uthrz wer s~ntli
knsrnd 2kumlookn4mi @ m¤ rglr lunch¤ nthrzdaez @ Stalaktytes but ¤ hd lrdi lft 4 m¤ d8 wth PARANOIA)
2/10/00 ( 2/10/00 (no. 11)). Sunday 17/9 – Monday 18/9 constituted my last written piece and
after that I was living far too intensely to write anything. From Tuesday 19
th
to Friday 22
nd
I was on a wild
paranoid (or maybe not) ride triggered by Helen calling out the C.A.T. (Crisis Assessment & Treatment Team)
who arrived just as I was about to leave on a longish trip with Helens prior agreement. She had contacted them
in secret for reasons best known to herself. For me that moment was like a scene from a B-grade movie with a
car pulling up and a guy who looked like a computer nerd and another who looked like an israeli soldier in
civvies jumping out and trying to prevent me from leaving. That set the pattern for the rest of the trip as I broke
free of Helen’s grip and reversed out of the drive threatening to run over the goons from whom or whoever was
their boss I was on the run for the next 3½ days. In those days I lived years, dodging & driving in circles
regardless of day or night and obeying no pattern other than what my instinct willed on me. I believed I was
being pursued and progressively got rid of everything I imagined could produce radiations that could be
tracked. Somewhere in the western suburbs I parked over a culvert (already earlier I had crawled under the van
a couple of times looking for tags that might have been attached there to transmit a signal) and crawling under
the car threw the mobile into it because I have heard that they omit enough radiation to be tracked by
sophisticated equipment even when they are switched off. The U.S. defence establishment has for years been
able to detect any designated phone call even on ordinary lines by using satellites that record radiations on the
earths surface. The aussies apparently contribute to this capacity with some joint facilities. Later I decided that
nearly all modern things have low level radiations built into them so that scanners could read bar codes (etc) so
I burnt my key cards because of the strips on them. In another spot I threw away my digital walkman style disk
player (& two Charles Gayle CDs) and a brand new cassette player (& my much valued cassette of the
Mujicians). Yes, I was paranoid and driving along country lanes and byways in an effort to avoid microwave
dishes (usually situated on mountain tops) as I though they might be able to read radiations from a tag placed on
the van that was too small for me to find. I have read that U.S. airmen downed in enemy territory have a tag
about the size of a coin which they attach to a tree or something and wait nearby for up to several days while
high flying aeroplanes packed with computers and decoding devices zero in on them. I kept hearing high flying
jets (probably on the Sydney-Adelaide route) that I though could be there for that purpose as I had heard a news
6
item (on the only occasion I turned on the radio) that there was some military exercise in progress (it was
during the olympic games) and people were to watch out for anyone trying to sell military sensitive material).
Assuming that it was possible I was carrying a homing device (I had heard a motor bike pull up outside our
place a few nights earlier and what sounded like my van being fiddled with; when I remarked as much to Helen
she said it was only noises from our fridge) and, in view of the importance I attach to the date ‘10/1/01’ (the
subject of my final piece) I drove to Ararat (to make a symbolic connection to Moses) and at the gate of a
property called Nirvana I traced out 10/1/01 by driving the van to make the figures hoping that the microwave
dish on a ridge of the Grampians nearby was close enough to compute in such detail but that the decoding
procedures might take days. I was imagining everything including that I might be in a virtual reality show
having heard there is some huge company out there that claims to be there for that purpose and whose
ownership is unclear and could include the U.S. defence establishment. I was scared of the U.S. secret service
because Brian Maclure had told me that Mahanewo (see story 14/8/41) can be broken up into Mahan – ewo,
Mahan being the name of a U.S. electronics warfare ship and EWO being the insignia of a rank meaning
Electronics Warfare Officer. I have the impression from my reading that the secret service establishments of
various countries are staffed by heaps of fools who have nothing better to do than decode remote possibilities.
Have my stories by chance (and I am very subject to chance) put me into some game the big guys (spies of the
U.S. etc) are playing or confounding each other with. In a place where I spent some time dozing (& drinking
wine (Dubonnet)) I left a little glass statue of the buddha which I had in the car having found it on one of my
trips. I wanted to make a statement about wisdom as commentary on the schemings of spies. I spent that night
(which one was it?) in several places always reinforcing my defences with alcohol; after running out of
Dubonnet which is my preferred I switched to Ramazzotti of which I had about 8 bottles left as I had left with
the hope of going to a great party of likeminded people where we all would get drunk on wine because it
symbolized the blood of jesus christ. Yes, yes … I was mad! Even before Helen put the goons on me! Alls well
that ends well however. When I got home on the friday the kids were all there and very supportive. The
discovery I made then was that I had also been put on the missing persons file (on what grounds? because if
anyone knows how not to get lost in this country its me; after all I was wearing my black t-shirt with the map of
australia on it and I had my compass) (and since then I’ve discovered that the decision to put me on that file
was a family decision and that the Calder Highway was nominated as my likely route as I was supposed to be
heading for Lake Gairdner along my preferred route and I might add that a year ago I was pulled up just out of
Malmsbury by a cop whose one task was to check drivers licences (I assumed it was an exercise in tightening
security with the olympic games in view) whats more I know cops have the power to pull me off the road
permanently as if they find just a scratch on me windscreen they can put me into a garage and force me to get a
roadworthy which involves about 100 points on the car and which even most new cars cant pass and which if
you fix all of them you get a RWC for 1 month only; with an old van like mine there is not a chance that all
those points could be kept in order or fixed no matter how well I maintain the car which is real well. Then if the
car cannot be brought up to scratch the garage is bound by law to destroy it. Thats the letter of the law in
Vic.land but in N.S.W. you can get a much less stringent RWC as long as you renew it each year. In South
Australia they dont have any of this nonsense and I suppose if I was to try to avoid being picked up by the cops
on false pretext (which fortunately they are not inclined to use unless perhaps directed by a Jeff Kennett type as
a ploy to get rid of the greenies all of whom drive old cars) I would have to reside in S.A. Also in S.A. I would
be able to avoid the C.A.T. team order and the community police who in Victoria would have put me in a
hospital and pumped me full of drugs for my own good and then put an order on me (by the shrinks) that would
have forced me to continue taking drugs (perhaps long term slow release ones administered by injection) after
my release for good behaviour (& the high cost of my incarceration to the taxpayer into the community).
Because you see Helen had convinced the mental health authority that I was a danger to myself (ie. I might
commit suicide after drinking a lot of Ramazzotti) and the grounds for incarcerating a person here is that he
constitutes a danger to others or to himself. It stinks of course. I have the right to choose my way of going even
if it is dangerous to myself. It is an essential part of my dignity that I be able to. I’ve watched various people
like Vi, my mum, Noel being cobbled up by the medical fraternity (at great expense to the taxpayer and good
profit to surgeons) in their old age so as to get them up on their feet to get cobbled up again very soon
afterwards (& again & again so that the oldies in their last few years of life cost more to medicate than the
entire rest of the community) and all to no avail coz it just doesnt work – they cark it anyway. Thats the system
and I was shopped by my own family so that I could be a part of that system. But friends, let me put on record
here, I dont want to be (& dont intend to (and will not) be part of that shit, humiliating system.) I’m going to die
under a lone tree in the desert with a bit of dirty water in a claypan nearby or a desert island in a dry salt lake
(Lake Gairdner?) in the way that I’ve had visions of (two). In the way that a couple of months ago I saw an old
kangaroo trying to dream himself into the never never except that I disturbed him and he staggered up
7
uncomprehending why his dreamtime had been delayed. Why is it that a kangaroo knows how to die with
dignity better than we do? Anyway all that is in the future. For the time being I survived another assault by the
forces that protect normality for mine and others benefit. I am pasting in an article where a well meaning
mother argues that schizophrenic children and altzheimers patients should be force fed drugs against their will
for their own good and to save taxpayers money.
Age p.27 Sept. 30
th
2000
Caring for those who can’t know they’re ill
By Sally Smith
Ten years ago, my son was a normal, healthy 18-year-old. Since the onset of schizophrenia, he has
endured the awful side-effects of forced injections to numb his brain when it spins his behaviour out
of control.
His condition, and the medication used to control it, have trapped our son and his parents in a hellish
Catch-22.
Psychiatrists tell us that not having the insight to acknowledge the illness is part of the illness.
Therefore, he does not take the new generation of drugs that could stabilize it without severe side-effects.
The only time he gets medication is when he is forced into hospital every few months – when he fits the
criteria of the Mental Health Act of being a danger to himself or others. The new medications work much better
than the old, even in small doses. They target the particular area of the brain affected by schizophrenia, rather
than blanketing the whole brain. But they must be taken regularly because each time treatment is ceased,
higher doses are required.
When my son reaches breaking point from not having taken his medication, the drugs he is given in
hospital are necessarily the old “blanketing type”. His resentment and paranoia increases, and as soon as he
leaves or escapes from hospital he evades his community treatment orders by becoming itinerant or moving
interstate. (Community treatment orders require patients to accept treatment once they leave hospital. If the
patient does not comply, then they can be readmitted to hospital against their will, but the orders are only
enforceable in the state that issues them.)
This vicious cycle creates a great sense of urgency in those who love him. We have watched it play out
for several years, rocketing from crisis to crisis, desperate for him to realise he has an illness and to take the
new medication before he becomes irretrievably damaged.
Recently I attended a lecture in Melbourne about advances in schizophrenia drugs. As the research
scientist explained the need for carers to ensure the medication was taken consistently there came a whispered
“Blah blah, blah blah, blah blah” from the seat on my right.
When I turned I saw a stylish woman in her 40s, and instantly recognised from the expression in her
eyes a fellow traveller. “They know everything but they understand nothing”, she said wearily.
My heart had also plummeted at the lecturer’s words. With the advent of the new medications hope is
raised then taken away because the reality is that my son, like thousands of other young people with this illness,
will not take medication.
Afterwards, we compared notes on our experiences, and the discussion soon disintegrated into a Monty
Pythonesque competition about which of us had endured the greatest suffering.
Events since last May placed Anna and her daughter, Danielle (not their real names), in the lead by a
country mile.
Danielle was a beautiful and intelligent scholarship student attending a leading girls’ school when she
lapsed into her first psychosis at 18. Now 26, she has had several hospital admissions.
The past seven months, since she stopped medication and treatment, have been a nightmare.
She formed a relationship with a man who has paranoid schizophrenia. One of his paranoid fears is
that he is being pursued, so except for a few days before Danielle’s latest admission to hospital, they have been
living on the streets. Danielle has become increasingly ill, both mentally and physically. Even on the coldest
winter nights, she sleeps out clad only in a light summer dress and summer shoes.
In the 21
st
century, surely Danielle has some civil rights other than being allowed to be mad?
I regard myself as a civil libertarian, but surely if the nature of the illness does not allow the patient to
have the insight to realise they are ill, they should not be deprived of the right to treatment.
The treatment, with its associated side-effects, often used to be worse than the illness, so it was
understandable a patient might be allowed to refuse it.
However, with the advent of newer drugs (which are said to improve more than 90 per cent of cases with
much fewer side-effects), is it not more humane to treat patients with these medications against their will,
rather than allow the illness to progress to the point the older drugs are forced upon them?
8
It’s time for a change. The Mental Health Act allows treatment at some times of the illness, but not at
others. Patients have the right to be treated legally “against their will” while in a “psychiatric crisis”, that is
when they are a danger to themselves or others.
Would we force Alzheimer’s patients to take medication if an effective treatment was available but they
did not wish to take it? Or would we wait until the illness makes them too debilitated to object?
Some say a new regime will cost more money. But think of the money spent on the “revolving door”
approach. Rather, a different allocation of money is required. We need a mental health system that treats not
just acute hospital patients or community patients but includes an in-between, graduated rehabilitation
inpatient/outpatient facility – yes, with job search and gyms and swimming pools and supervision allowing
young people to recover out of danger, out of jail, off the streets.
Full treatment and rehabilitation would be cost effective in the long term.
A central registry for community treatment orders, legally effective for all of Australia and New
Zealand, is long overdue.
There is a whole lost generation out there, on the streets, in jail, on drugs, in squats, in despair through
no fault of their own.
It is time to make the changes that can bring them home.
Sally Smith is a pseudonym for a Victorian mother. She can be contacted at sallismith@hotmail.com
9
Experiments with people require specialized / skills / mere manipulation is not enough / the
surgeon is an expert dissector. / Even though vivisection is a precise science / there is no artistry in
swapping legs or hearts or / producing a two-headed man who is always half-awake. / Tampering with
souls involves / some expertise / but the true scientist is driven by a spirit of research (2/3/07. ¤m 1/2
waethru In Search of Memory x Eric R. Kandel (“winner of the Nobel Prize”)) / he is not the doctor but
the experiment / he completes the apparatus loving / the subject (a special friend) / with mathematical
purity. / The patient is a woman who cries / out in the strength of her pain and crumbles / with gentle
fear. / She is warm and knows that it is her nature to be / a mother, to serve. / The blade is a good
surgeon.
10
With all this sort of thing taking place I clean forgot to take in the olympic games (especially the
opening and closing ceremonies) except for the litho vs aussie basketball game where I surprised myself by
barracking for the lithos who won. … Also since the paranoid experience can’t be there for no reason I’ve
decided to become a luddite and have nothing to do with plastic money or irradiated strips or the big banks and
have transferred some personal cash into the litho credit union (TALKA) which I’ve slagged in some of my
stories but where I at least am known by sight and where there are hand written records of me because those
people whose existence is purely digital are going to be in trouble when the computers crash which they surely
will do either because the whole system is being wired up by hair brained inexperienced kids on huge salaries
coz the system is being installed at breakneck speed or because the whole electrical system will stop because of
some kind of electronic pulse which either the ruskies or the yanks will release at the same time as they release
their missiles because they misread their computer screens or Bill Clinton pressed the buttons in the middle of
the night when he wasn’t fully awake and was still dreaming that he was being monikered or Vladimir Putin
having realized that the US system only had two short numbers to press (on two separated computers) decided
that he was at too much of a disadvantage (given that the ruskie system is rusting and decrepit) with three long
numbers (since split second timing and recognition of incoming missiles and also targeting of all possible
enemy missiles is essential hence the countries that are sure to be blown up are all in the northern hemisphere
whose weather system is independent from ours so with a bit of luck we may have only a week or so to stay
indoors (& Im stocked up with Ramazzotti and have a bottle of Fernet-Branca) to avoid radiation but pity the
poor buggers up north. Oh yes! I forgot to mention – on my mad paranoid escapade where I lived 3 years in 3
days I did find the homing device on the car. I cut it into 4 pieces and placed them in positions that might not be
easy to locate. I have given an account and description of these spots to others and will in due course check
them out myself in the interests of science for the paranoid instinct wasn’t given to us for no reason. That’s in
the future, what else has happened? For one, house prices are on the rise. Which suits me and H especially as
I’m shifting out into our West Melbourne house when Bronwyn’s lease expires at the end of the year. The house
is only a few hundred yards away from litho house where I’ve deposited some moneys in TALKA as I’ve
already stated: some on call, some on 3-month term, some on 12 month term. My passbook was written up by a
guy I know as Viva Alekna who might be the same person who wrote this letter to The Age newspaper
(2/3/07. omitted here) that I cut out next day (ie Sunday 1/10/00 which is also Helens birthday and on which
occasion all the kids (except Michael) were here for the BBQ)…. It was a strange birthday that included a
‘family’ conference, plenty of drinking, and some strong love. I medicated myself with a mixture of largactil
and valium and overdid it because of the grog (x3 factor). But today I’m fine and on the warpath. Had lunch at
Hong Kong with Helen with whom I met up in town outside the library where Frank Lovece was also passing
by to say hello. I bought a new walkman because I did finally get the archaic litho Christmas songs (sent by L.
Kozlovskiene to the address Ben lives at as she must have got it from the phone book where I don’t exist as
ours is a silent number) that Mrs Karazija said I’d get for her 25
th
nov. do and having listened to them I say
categorically they are great songs and I hope I can make a useful contribution. I hope so because I believe in
what they say. The occasion is at litho house (25
th
nov.) to start advent. I’m playing them over and over to get
them into the hard wiring hoping I’ll be allowed to improvise the harmony. On the way home from Hong Kong,
having parted from Helen who was on her way to visit Vi as she does every day, but this time by public
transport (the RACV are taking a full month to fix some minor panel beating damage on her car even though
both me and Helen threatened and pleaded) (so when this policy runs out she will check with the local panel
beater which company she should switch to. Fuck the RACV (now that they are no more than another bank)) I
came across a shop (or studio) in Smith st that makes masks. I’ve been looking for someone who makes masks
for a long time. On Friday 6
th
oct. I go for a mask fitting (mould). The artist is Janet Le Good. I said I’d give her
some poems I wrote recently one of which is about masks. She gave me some stuff to read about what she does.
She even supplies masks for a festival in Venice (6/7/07. 4/6/07). I think she’s good. She was kind enough to
say I had a kind face. I think we’ve made contact. Her studio is at 65 Smith Street Fitzroy and its called
Charles Smith Gallery of Contemporary Fine Arts & Fabulous Gifts . If Helen types this quick
enough I’ll give it to her with the poems and she might give me a cut on the mask (or masks) coz I’ve got a
complicated idea.
(27/2/07. Completion of Mondays from folder 1. (nos. 1 – 16 of anthology)).
27/11 /00 ( 27/11/00 - 7/12/00 (no. 17)). Left at a comfortable hour after reading the paper &
a final inspection of the garden. Have parked on the Wellington River a few kilometres north of Licola. When I
left Melbourne I was heading for the coast but turned north from the highway at Rosedale on a whim because I
saw the sign to Glenmaggie dam where we used to go for picnics when I was a kid in Sale & I’ve never been
11
back since. The books I’ve brought are Joseph Roth’s Right & Left; the Saint Companions by
Mausolff & Mausolff (see story 14/8/41); Saint of the Day published by St. Anthony Messenger Press in
Cincinnati, Ohio which I bought at the catholic book shop to check if the saints are the same as in the Saint
Companions (which they often arent; also not every day is listed); a very short history booklet called The
Rise of Christianity put out by Marshall Cavendish Books, London W1; & the bible I keep on the
dashboard (29/1/01. Thats it in the bottom left photo on the cover page) which was given to me by Ron
Heatherington when he gave me a lift south from Broken Hill about 30 years ago. Todays saint is Virgilius of
Salzburg (c 700-784) (6/7/07. 11/6/07) whose studies of ancient geographers led him to teach the opinion that
the earth was a sphere & that men were also living at the antipodes – a claim which greatly startled his
contemporaries. For his further belief that gnomes & elves inhabited another world with its own sun & moon he
was censured by Pope Zachary. Thats from Saint of the Day, the Saint Companion doesnt have an entry.
Its mild, very still, the sun has just gone over the hill, I am looking forward to being soothed tonight by the
sound of water churning over rocks. Its 6.45 pm & I’m about to make a cup of coffee. An interesting thing just
happened – a branch as thick as a mans thigh came crashing down a hundred yards from where I’m sitting. I’ve
seen it happen before but no more than on a half dozen occasions & each time it makes you think.
4/12/00 . About 30 years ago I had a one off experience. At the time I was in the middle of a
distressed period in my life & was being treated for schizophrenia by doctors at Royal Park Clinic, near the zoo.
Or at least I was being treated for the effects of the drugs that had been prescribed for me to control a crisis
(mind spin, implosion, no sleep, one episode of auditory disturbance, all preceded by a high) for which I had
gone there for help. The experience I am about to describe took place on the outskirts of Broken Hill (opposite
the mining school of the N.S.W. university) when I was thumbing a lift south towards Mildura (I’ve just taken a
couple of photos of myself writing by the Joni Lipsys method of holding the camera at arms length & pointing it
back at yourself) (29/1/01. See front cover.) heading home from north western N.S.W. At that moment I could
have been sleep deprived & affected by heavy drinking over the previous days. Maybe I was taking
psychoactive drugs that had been prescribed for me but I cant remember. Certainly I was at as low a point as I
had been – rock bottom (I once wanted to register ‘rock bottom’ as a name for a music group). The sky was a
brilliant blue as it usually is at Broken Hill. As I was walking west I felt a distinct presence at my back to one
side, somewhat above me. It was an overwhelming sensation though it didnt make me roll my eyes or blubber or
even change my stride. I say overwhelming because though I had felt it as distinctly outside I also felt its glow
(for want of a better word) through me. It didnt last long but I dont know if it was a matter of moments or
minutes. It spoke. It said everything is O.K. I am looking after you I will always look after you walk light. When
I say it spoke I dont mean audibly; there was not even a trace of an aural component. But the message was as
clear as the spoken word though its effect was greater, as if I was flooded by its meaning bodily. & I felt right, at
unity with the clear day around me & I walked light. Soon after I got a lift from Ron Heatherington (it ended up
in the early hours of the morning at Benalla where I slept under a bridge) who gave me the small bible in the
cardboard sleeve that I carry on the dashboard of the van. (I’m taking another photo to include it; I am also
being bitten by an assortment of different kinds of bugs who in exchange are serenading me with a symphony of
hums, whines & buzzing). A year or so later after taking advice from Alan Marshall (of I Can Jump
Puddles) on how to go about writing an old mans biography I returned to Broken Hill (his house was in Argent
St. two doors from the Willyama Hotel), but thats another story. The glow from the experience was with me for
months & in a diminished, abstracted way for years. When I got back to Melbourne I gave a written account of
it to several people & told others including Helen of course. I noted that after a period of several years of
spiritual turmoil William Blake claimed that god has a human form so I surmised that he had had a similar or
related experience for the notion of god had come to me at the time also for we associate it with the
overwhelming. I thought that my experience gave me an insight into Blakes claim. As I said it was a one off, not
to be repeated, & I date a turnaround in my distressed condition to it. I read somewhere by someone doing a
survey (probably in a newspaper as I was too agitated or depressed to read anything else for some years; or even
newspapers for a while) that the born again experience is quite common though not often admitted to &
wondered if there might not be some parallels with mine. Finally the interpretation (& perhaps the experience
itself had intimated) I settled on was that it was of the ‘holy ghost’ as stated by john the baptist when he baptised
the nazarene with water but claimed that the baptism of the prophet would be with the ‘holy ghost’. I read the
testaments for references but found few, however the thing that clinched it was the use of the word “comforter”
by the prophet himself for what I assumed was the same thing. For if the experience was to be described by a
single word comforter fitted perfectly. I hope I’m not remembering incorrectly but I think he said to his disciples
that he would send the “comforter” after he was gone. Perhaps it was inevitable given the culture of my
upbringing that that would be my interpretation. In a different culture the explanation would have had to be
12
different or perhaps I would have had a different visitor. I am inclined to think many others have had it. When
I’ve looked at some hard to access beach at a bottom of a cliff in some remote scrubbly location & noted that
there was a rock fall that might let me climb down to it & thought “what a thrill I might be the only one to walk
that beach” then when I get there I find a beaten track, or even pegs driven into the rock, to let me down. Or I’ve
looked at a saddle in the Flinders Ranges wondering at the view I might get from up there & when I’ve climbed
up following goat tracks & thinking “only them & me would be silly enough to do it” I’ve found the fire rings
of other bushwalkers. Its always like that. But it is possible that knowledge that is quite common is suppressed
because of the prevalent ideologies, tyrants of the mind (mind-forged manacles according to Blake), often self
imposed. The reason I’m giving this account as fully & as accurately as I am able to is because I want other
people who have been visited in the same way not to feel isolated or that they are unique. To feel isolated or
unique is dangerously destabilizing & rightly so for as William Blake said (quoting Swedenborg) there is
nothing new under the sun. There are all kinds of reasons why people fail to compare their experiences, shyness
among them, but the main one is that they forgo the rights to components of their person by handing them over
to experts, priests, theologians, & various self appointed authorities. & I assure you, my friends, the authorities
fight tooth nail to maintain their exclusive control over discourse & behaviour. When I described my visitor to
my doctor at Royal Park he immediately wanted to increase the dosage of my medication. To his credit he didn’t
press the issue but I still wonder on what basis he made his judgement since what I had told him was not like
anything I had described for which I had gone there for help. No doubt he would have megadosed every one of
the prophets of all the religions & if he had been able to eavesdrop late at night to a conversation of bushwalkers
round the dying embers of a fire he would have said “well that one needs medication … & him … & him too!”
For, dear friends, dreamers, flakes, fellow visionaries, look closely at your doctors – some of them have led very
restricted lives. Its not their fault, they spent their youths studying; they are not to know. If that particular doctor
is still inclined to medicate one off experiences (even if the patient is categorizable) I hearby lay a curse on him:
that in the next life he spend the rest of eternity finding only glossy paper to wipe his arse with. I knew it would
be his response beforehand but I had made a decision to tell him so that I could refuse his suggestion of an
increase in the medication. There was a choice. I had decided to make an act of will, though I wouldnt have
expressed it like that then, not to deny the experience. It would have been easier to keep quiet but I was & am
making a statement. For already when I was visited I had promised not to deny & where appropriate to give
testimony.
Its 9.50 am & I have to decide whether to head for Lock Sport for beach walks or back into the high
plains along the Dargo road. I havent turned the radio on for a week so I have no idea of the weather forecast, a
newspaper in Sale (my home town I thought once) might help decide … Its 3.20 & I’m on the fast flowing &
surprisingly large Wonnangatta River about 20ks east of Dargo. I decided to give Sale & the newspaper a miss.
At Stratford I bought some more flyspray & topped up with petrol. Back at Briagalong I had a pot of beer in the
pub & bought a stubby of Vic Bitter & an Abbots Stout for the road. In the pub a young woman & her daughter
of about 9 were getting provisions: about 4x24 cans of beer, 6 packets of cigarettes & about 8 bags of ice were
lined up on the bar. I had seen them yesterday on the final bit of the Marathon track on horseback. The young
girl looked like she was born to hers as she wasnt the slightest bit put out when it pranced sideways as I inched
past. She & her mother were droving cattle, some with bells (6/7/07. 11/6/07), up the track. About a kilometre
ahead & behind was a stationary ute each with a bloke & a sign saying cattle on the road. Interesting to see the
women do the work. I bet most of the beer & smokes is for the two blokes. They told me they were taking the
cattle up to the Wellington High Plains where I had walked on the eastern part of the Tali Karng track yesterday.
They planned to be at Horseyard Flat in a few days time. I should have asked them how long it would take.
Didnt think to tell them that the place was buzzing with mozzies but whats the difference since they disregard
chemicals anyway. I reckon I’m lucky not to have been going down the steep grade as they were pushing the
cattle up it because I dont know what would have happened because there wouldnt have been enough room for
them to squeeze past.
Today I’m putting in a saint from each book as they are both good ones. Its the first time a saint from the
american Saint of the Day has made it into the journal. First from the Saint Companions: Saint Peter
Chrysologus (Bishop Confessor, Doctor of the Church 406-450). The Deacon Peter was miraculously selected
for the Bishopric of Ravenna by Pope Sixtus III after he had been shown to him in a dream. In that city, which
was then the seat of the Western Roman Empire, St. Peter preached to the Emperor, his court and the faithful
with such eloquence that he became surnamed Chrysologus, meaning “golden word”. He made it a point to
avoid all rhetorical phrases keep his instructions short, so as not to tire his hearers. With his pen, too, he
explained the faith and defended it against the Monophysite heretics, and of these homilies, 176 have come
down to our times. He urged his people to receive Holy Communion frequently. In speaking against the riotous
New Year celebrations, he coined his now famous quotation: “He who amuses himself with Satan cannot rejoice
13
with Christ!” The mosaic-covered chapel which he erected in Ravenna and where he taught, is still extant.
Reflection: “Clothe yourself with the garment of sanctity, gird yourself with the cincture of chastity; let Christ
be the covering of your head; let the Cross of Christ be the protection for your face; instil in your breast the
sacrament of divine wisdom; let the ardour of your prayers always ascend upon high” (St. Peter Chrysologus).
& from Saint of the Day: John Damascene (Priest and Doctor 676?-749). John spent most of his life in the
monastery of St. Sabas, near Jerusalem, and all of his life under Moslem rule, indeed, protected by it. He was
born in Damascus, received a classical and theological education, and followed his father in a government
position under the Arabs. After a few years he resigned and went to the monastery of St. Sabas. He is famous in
three areas. First, he is known for his writings against iconoclasts, who opposed the veneration of images.
Paradoxically, it was the Eastern Christian emperor Leo who forbade the practice, and it was because John lived
in Moslem territory that his enemies could not injure him. Second, he is famous for his treatise, ‘Exposition of
the Orthodox Faith’, a summary of the Greek Fathers (of which he became the last). It is said that this book is to
Eastern schools what the ‘Summa’ of Aquinas became to the West. Thirdly, he is known as a poet, one of the
greatest of the Eastern Church, the other being Romanus the Melodist. His devotion to the Blessed Mother and
his sermons on her feast are well known. Comment: John defended the Churches understanding of the
veneration of images and explained the faith of the Church in several other controversies. For over 30 years he
combined a life of prayer with these defences and his other writings. His holiness expressed itself in putting his
literary and preaching talents at the service of the Lord. Quote: “The saints must be honoured as friends of
Christ and children and heirs of God, as John the theologian and evangelist says: ‘But as many as received him,
he gave them the power to be made the sons of God …’ Let us carefully observe the manner of life of the
apostles, martyrs, ascetics and just men who announced the coming of the Lord. And let us emulate their faith,
charity, hope, zeal, life, patience and suffering, and perseverance unto death, so that we may also share their
crowns of glory” (Exposition of the Orthodox Faith).
19/2 /01 ( 13/2/01 – 26/2/01 (no. 18)). 7.30am. If I thought that the picture I was drawing led
to an understanding or capacity to control then I could be accused of grandstanding. I know that the opposite is
the case. I am trying to share some of my wonder at what I see. I am saying that a doctor of medicine
contributes more to my respect for the creature man than a doctor of divinity. I wander about agape with
amazement at the beauty of solid things. I imagine some doctors of medicine share it & feel equally humbled.
“Oh, What A Piece of Work is Man” as the song goes. No thanks to the doctors of divinity, specialists in
metaphysical ‘doubles’, who prefer to see men as ghosts needing to maintain their health with fuls of
observances & obediences.
There are two saints today, here is the first. St. Conrad of Piacenza (Confessor 1290-1351). A member
of one of the first families of Piacenza in northern Italy, he married young and embarked on a military career.
He was passionately fond of the chase and when one day, his quarry escaped into a thicket, he ordered it to be
set on fire. But a sudden strong wind caused the flames to spread quickly over all the nearby fields and forests
and caused widespread damage. For this a poor woodcutter who happened to be found in the neighbourhood,
was blamed, tried and condemned to death on circumstantial evidence. Upon hearing of this turn of events, St.
Conrad acknowledged his own guilt and promised to make amends as far as lay in his power by selling all his
possessions. He and his wife then took up the religious life; she became a Poor Clare and he joined the Third
Order of St. Francis and lived thereafter as a hermit in a solitary cave near Noto in Sicily. Each Friday for the
next 30 years, he visited the celebrated Crucifix at Noto, and here he was found dead on his knees in February
19
th
, 1351. St. Conrad was vouschafed the gift of miracles. His intercession is invoked in cases of hernia
(2/3/07. but m¤ pairnts ddnt no wn ¤ gotm¤n @thaejv6 njr·i wch x th twoz opr8don ftr y·rzv paen wn ¤
woz 12 norstraelia lftmi wth nshrvld tstkl (Gore Vidal in his memoir “Point to Point Navigation” says “When
my mother was asked why, after three famous marriages, she did not try for a fourth, she
observed, ‘My first husband had three balls. My second, two. My third, one. Even I know enough
not to press my luck.’”)). Reflection: “for the beginning of (Wisdom) is the most true desire of discipline.
And the care of discipline is love: and love is the keeping of her laws.” (Wisdom 6, 18-19).
In case anyone still thinks that what I’m doing in making man tangible is taking away his magic & that
what is needed if he is to be interesting (& mysterious) is a ghost (or few) in the machine let me remind them
that what I’ve sketched is done in a language where every word before it is laid down in our neural network
through infanthood & childhood as a noun or a thing is an enormously complicated set of instructions which to
have meaning has had to be coordinated with others (danced together, led, the hand held, eye contact made, the
voice raised or hushed, the brow stroked, the tears wiped, hands raised or clapped), forged. Since it is obvious
that a word spoken by only one man can have no meaning it may be that the more people share in the forging of
a word the greater its capacity to coordinate behaviour – the greater its meaning. It may be that language is
14
between people what chemicals & electrical signals are between cells. I hope that my explanation makes it clear
that at its source language is just as tangible as the language of the cells. It is made from the same stuff. But the
whole is more than the sum of the parts and cannot be explained or predicted by them. (2/3/01. “Life can be
only understood backwards but it must be lived forwards.” – Soren Kierkegaard) Whats more language
is only one of the ways that people are in contact.
The second saint is St. Eleutherius of Tournai (Bishop Martyr ? – 532). St. Eleutherius (or Eloy) became
the first Bishop of the diocese of Tournai (near today’s Franco-Belgian border) at the time when St. Remigius
was organizing the Church in northern Gaul after the conversion of King Clovis and his 3000 Franks in 496. He
was united in lifelong friendship with St. Medard, the Bishop of Noyon, both of them having lived at court
before entering the episcopate. St.Eleutherius was waylaid and so severely beaten by some Arian heretics that
he never regained his former health and finally succumbed in 532. St Medard took over the diocese at his
death.
7.10 am. Left the Murrah Beach spot with some regrets. If the private road gets any worse only four
wheel drives will be able to get in so it may have been my first & last time there. But I’m in another terrific spot
in a small national park south of Bermagui which is even more private. The track into here is probably illegal as
it goes around some bollards put in by parks to stop entry. I sussed this spot out when I was nearby last year.
There are 3 lounge chairs round a fire place in the ti-trees nearby which look great. (12/3/01. see back cover).-
(14/3/01. which wasnt done by Russel, the local Kodak franchise holder, as all my photos normally are (eg. the
front cover which is from the Meditation on Lake Gairdner album), because he was shifting shop that
day. Incidentally, Russels motto is : if you dont like em just bring em back & I’ll do em again for nix.) If Helen
was here I’d get her to take some photos. I can’t do it as I can’t work out how the time lapse function works on
my camera. The beach is close by and a very discreet track winds through banksia (integrifolia) and bangalay
gum. Earlier I went into Bermagui because I wanted to ring H. and had to buy some pens. There was one
message on my mobile left last wednesday. She says shes met Dan and talked to Joe & Ben & all are fine. Shes
about to catch up with Michael & Kate. She sent a valentines day message. When I rang the school I discovered
it was closed for two days while the staff were off on a conference, so she’ll have to make do with the message
I left on her mobile. Later I spent a few hours in the Horseshoe Bay Hotel slowly working my way through 4
schooners of beer (6/7/07. wow! oenli 6 y·· l8r doent think ¤ kddooth@ now). Long time since I’ve done
that. The bar looks across the bay to Mt. Dromedary which I suppose I’ll have to climb before I leave the area.
It must be a great view from up there. Talked to a couple of professional fishermen both of whom were
originally from Victoria. One still has a house in Loch Sport, the other was born and grew up in a small town
near Port Fairy. The second guy owns a fishing trawler. When I said I thought I could get permission to go onto
Bunga Beach he said that some of the landholders are mean bastards. He had it in for greenies too and when I
told him that on the labour day weekend I was going to a folk festival at Port Fairy (15/3/01. where I saw Dr.
Doig (2/12/07. → ♂m 24 O m¤ prst8 gl& njusda) walk past in the distance as I do most years but this
time without his kids) as me and H. have been doing for years he said it was a shit hole of a place. (12/3/01. We
came back yesterday, a day early, because Ben has been having a hard time & we were worried) (12/3/01. We
were told to move on & fined $100 by the cops on friday night for being illegally ‘camped’ in the same spot by
the Moyne river weve stopped at every time weve been there. That was at 1.30 am.) After lunch nearly all the
tourists left and nearly everyone who came in was a pro fisherman. It was interesting listening to their talk.
Later had a look at the ‘blue pool’, a tide fed swimming pool, & the rock holes around it. They look great & I
decided were worth snorkelling tomorrow but then I checked out the very dramatic rocky shoreline under the
Michael Lerner Lookout & the pools there are even better. How good is good! Time for a stroll on the beach.
I notice there is a third saint today. Its St. Leo of Catania (Bishop Confessor 703-787). A native of
Ravenna, Leo laboured as a Priest in southern Italy before being appointed to the Bishopric of Catania in Sicily.
There he was able to eradicate the last vestiges of paganism. He became famed for his great learning as well as
for his unlimited charity towards the poor and the orphans of his diocese. The Greek Emperor held him in such
high esteem that he invited him to live at the court in Constantinople. On account of a number of remarkable
miracles which God permitted him to work, he is known as the “Wonder-worker”. Reflection: “People in the
world say: ‘Oh! The Saints were simpletons!’ Yes, they were simpletons in worldly things; but in the things of
God they were very wise”. (St. John M. Vianney.)
26/2 /01 . I woke today to the tinkle of bell birds (Manorina melanophrys) and the crack of whip
birds (Psophodes olivaceus), other birds are joining in. But lets get straight into the discussion. If this riot of
sound & colour, the strange doings of men, this beautiful world originated, as scientists claim, from a single
undifferentiated dot then the capacity for the birth of complexity must be infinite. How pretentiously conceited
it is for us to assume that a single other planet, however many zillions of them are out there, would have given
15
birth to a complexity remotely analogous to the one based on what we call life. It is far more easy to believe
that if complexities are generated on other planets that in every case they will be so different, the gaps between
them in a universe of infinite possibilities so great, that none of them would be capable of intersecting or
perceiving each other, let alone imagining each other. We could not have conceived of the elements giving birth
to us if it werent for the fact that we know we exist. It explains why we havent & never will be visited by saucer
men. Carl Sagan & the astronomers are quite silly, I suggest, beaming out radio signals into space for galactic
foreigners to decode. Here is another explanation why it might not happen. It may be that in a universe of
infinite possibilities we & the likes of us are an aberrant development & as the scientists did with the robots of
‘Bladerunner’, there may be a self destruct mechanism incorporated into unnecessary or malignant growths.
That mechanism may be science itself. There is no reason to suppose that its internal logic does not lead to self
destruction. The fuse has already been lit, or more aptly the pin pulled. In the life spans of planets the history of
our sciences may not constitute a single microsecond. They are our pride! On this note I launch into an account
of the most amazing, jaw-dropping experience of my life which happened just last year on the third & last night
of my ride with Paranoia. I had been driving around on minor country roads in a random pattern determined by
hunch, microwave towers & the sound of aeroplanes, subsisting on a small amount of food & large amounts of
Dubonnet & Ramazzotti (I had brought my favourite wine glass), evading real & imaginary pursuers, grabbing
sleep in snatches oblivious to night or day, getting rid of anything that might omit the slightest radiation
(including 2 brand new $100 notes (18/3/07. Gintas (6/7/07. klaemz th@ sins th°v Kurt Vonnegut ¤m ♂z
faevrt '; just +d rmrstrzv s¤kolji 2 ♂z kwolfkaeshnz) (bruthrvVaidas) hazbnnoen 2givwae $50 ♪♫ 2
paserzx)) when I finally came to a halt under a brilliant starry sky somewhere north of Minyip in the Wimmera
district of Victoria. I was disoriented & wanted to get a direction by my usual method of extending the
perpendicular that bisects the line joining the two pointers to where it meets the extension of the main axis of
the southern cross & dropping a vertical line down to the horizon. Its an accurate way of getting south. Can you
imagine my surprise when I looked up at that brilliant black sky, as beautiful as any in the most arid interior,
and it was all wrong. It was the wrong sky! Yes, it was full of stars & the milky way was as bright as it can be
but neither the constellations, nor the two little clouds that are other galaxies, nor anything else that I recognised
was there. Except that is for the southern cross which was three quarters up the sky. But it too was wrong: it
was larger than usual & the cross beam was at right angles to the trunk whereas in the normal one its a bit
askew. & the pointers werent there at all. I did the usual tests to determine the status of a perception: I rubbed
my eyes; I searched the horizons for familiar constellations; I got back in the car lay down for a doze then came
out again to check; I opened the tail gate, got out the wine glass & the bottle of Ramazotti & sat down on the
bumper for a drink & a think. I was flabbergasted. I wondered if I might not be the victim of a virtual reality
show, or one of those exercises they have on tv (though I havent seen one) where they put someone into an
unusual situation & secretly monitor them. (I had been prone to such imaginings from the start of the trip). I
imagined that very distant descendants of men, aeons into the future & by now no more than gelatinous
appendages with eyes attached to computer terminals, or maybe consisting only as bundles of information
stored in data banks, were peering back through time either for their own entertainment or aghast at what had
become of them. Maybe they wanted to observe samples of primitive life forms to see what had gone wrong &
if by intervening in the past they could release themselves from their insipid purgatory devoid of emotion.
Perhaps they were looking for someone who could destroy them. Now (I know what youre thinking) why me?
How preposterous to imagine I could be the subject of that kind of attention. But dear friends, I knew it was
preposterous but when you have the sky substituted for another one thats even more preposterous. The trouble
is that in the final analysis when you have to choose between what you clearly see & what everyone else says
you should be seeing you have no choice: otherwise reality is only arbitrary, what the majority decide. (or have
I got it the wrong way around?) Assuming of course that youve done the necessary checks to determine the
status of a perception. (In determining the status of their voices modern would-be saints would be well advised
to check: 1. were they embodied 2. could others hear them 3. did they make sense 4. were they useful 5.
were they believed by others.) It was after I told my friendly neighbourhood doctor (2/3/07. Dr John Wall @
101 hoolooksrftr m¤ oesophagitis) about the sky that he gave me the example of the intern who saw a door
that wasnt in the wall. Over the last couple of days another explanation has occurred to me. Though in my
youth I have walked all night my knowledge of the sky is mainly gained from what I see between sunset &
1am. Is it possible that I was looking at the last of the night sky just before the predawn glow & that all the
constellations I am familiar with (I am not a careful student of whats up there) had already set? I did go to bed
on that occasion & had a ‘nap’ but for all I know, considering the state I was in, it may have been only for
moments. I seem to remember I drove off soon afterwards heading for Charlton relieved to know where east
was from the faint dawn glow. The way to check it out would be to get up at 6am & have a look to see if the
false southern cross is still there. But I cant be bothered getting out of bed that early.
16
Here is the final saint. St. Mechtilde of Hackeborn (Virgin c1240-1298). A daughter of one of
Thuringia’s noblest families, St. Mechtilde entered her elder sister’s Benedictine convent at the age of seven
and made rapid strides in virtue and learning. Her humility, piety and zeal caused her to be appointed, when still
relatively young, to direct the novitiate and the choir, and as such she became the first teacher of St. Gertrude
the Great when the latter was placed in her convent at the age of five. Though constantly subject to physical
suffering, St. Mechtilde was ever intent upon singing the divine praises, and such is the key-note of the “Book
of Special Grace”, in which St. Gertrude and another sister-nun secretly set down the supernatural favours
which God granted to St. Mechtilde. In His revelations our Lord used to address her as His “Nightingale”, and
He favoured her with such spiritual insight and mystical experiences that learned Dominicans were sent to
consult her on spiritual matters. Through these Friar Preachers St. Mechtilde’s book of revelations were widely
distributed after her death. It was, according to Boccaccio, very popular in Florence in Dante’s time under the
title of “the Lauds of Donna Matilda”, and devout Florentines used to recite divine praises taken from her book
during their devotions at their family shrines. Together with St. Gertrude the Great, St. Mechtilde is one of the
first to have instituted devotions to the Sacred Heart. “When you awake in the morning, let your first act be to
salute My Heart and to offer Me your own”, our Lord once urged St. Mechtilde. Reflection: “It gives Me real
pleasure when men hope great things from Me, and I will always grant them more than they expect.” (Our Lord
to St. Mechtilde.)
(12/3/01. I didn’t mention it at the time I was writing the entry but I might as well now as its an example
of a coincidence (I’ve been plagued by them): as I was sitting on my box describing the above experience a guy
in a 4x4 drove up. He had a sea kayak on the roof & we got chatting about the things we’d done. He told me
how he had paddled his kayak over a week or two from Old Bar (north coast of N.S.W.) to Sydney & back. In
the course of telling him about some of the things I’d done I said I had known a guy in central australia who
used to claim that if you met a total stranger at a bar in a pub you could always find someone both of you knew
quite well in common. He would then give a demonstration to prove it. I & others thought he was a con but we
couldnt work out how he done it. Nor could the unsuspecting strangers. Anyway I said to the guy in the 4x4 that
I knew someone who lived in Old Bar & he said “oh yair, who?” & I said a guy called Lalor & he said “Mick
Lalor?” & I said yair I was talking to his old man a couple of weeks ago & he told me Mick lived in Old Bar, &
Mick was a friend of one of my kids, & the guy said “I work with Mick in the same office & hes now married
to so & so etc. etc.” Small world, the Lalors live across the road at 98 which means that both the first & last day
of this story has a connection with my immediate neighbours that it was impossible for me to have contrived.)
Over to you.
9/4/01 ( 7/4/01 – 18/4/01 (no. 19) (18/1/08. & nsrt(s) * ← Port Germein (no 53).)). 8.30
am. A few more memories of the convent. The love of the nuns for the singing priest hung in the large expanse
of air above the pews like a vapour; its intensity made the plaster & brick walls resonate with a faint hum; & it
even penetrated them to warp the space outside where I stood high up peering in through a small window in the
top back wall of the chapel. I feel a trace of it to this day. Another memory is of a very beautiful young nun who
seemed out of place in the sombre, hushed setting of the convent but it was hinted that she was exceptionally
devout, even a bit holy, perhaps a future candidate for sainthood. My guess is that she will have left the convent
soon afterwards for I detected, in the direct way that children do, an illicit glow about her. I now suppose that
many of the nuns were in love with her & that some loved her. Another memory is of my 2
nd
piano teacher, the
cranky one. When I would absentmindedly rest my hands in my lap she would roughly snatch them out
admonishing me for being rude. Curiously it is the first time Ive dredged out that memory now that its meaning
has become apparent (6/7/07. l¤kw¤z hstri dm&z 2b r'n x ech jnraeshn). At the time it was no more than
another example of her tetchiness. On this note I introduce the saints for the day: St Mary of Cleophas (1
st
century). This Mary was the wife of Cleophas (Alphaeus) who, according to Hegesippus, was a brother of St.
Joseph (the spouse of our Lady) – which would make St. Mary Cleophas a sister-in-law of the Blessed Virgin
(6/7/07. but 26/5/07). The Bible tells us that she was the mother of the Apostle St. James the Less, and that
she was one of the “three Marys” who followed our Lord from Galilee and stood at the foot of the Cross. And
St. Acacius (Bishop Confessor 5
th
cent.) He was the Bishop of Amida in Mesopotamia at a time when the
Romans were warring against the Persians there. The lot of 7,000 Persian prisoners so touched the sympathies
of St. Acacius that he had the Church’s sacred vessels melted down and sold for their ransom – an act which so
greatly impressed the Persian king Bahram V, that he is said to have stopped the persecution of his Christian
subjects. Reflection: “A new commandment I give you, that you love one another: that as I have loved you, you
also love one another. By this will men know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John
13, 34-35) …. 4.30 pm. I wanted to take a photo of the Wildongolichee Hotel at Hallet & of a ‘Danger’ sign
riddled with bullets near here but my camera is on the blink – one less thing to carry in the day pack on walks. I
17
am at Port Germein. Rang home & talked to Ben who says he is polishing up opals. He meant the jar of matrix
opal I brought back years ago when it was thought to be worthless. He sounded OK. Helen was out & I said Id
ring her at 5.30. Earlier at Wirrabara I had a couple of pies & a coffee at the best bakery in the country
according to me and H. Wrote a letter to Kate of Eaglemont to explain how my run in with Aust. Post provided
a basis for my paranoia on my wild 3 day trip in sept./oct. last year. She gets all my handouts but I dont get a
chance to explain anything as we only exchange a few words between customers at the newsagency. I hope Ben
gets a chance to travel the countryside some day as I do (6/7/07. dae b4 ystrdae ♂m & Dan → Terick Terick St8
Park). There is something very reassuring about the bush. The sun rises every morning greeted by the birds you
expect in that locality. At ‘Worlds End’ its magpies followed by crows. You go to bed at sunset. If it rains you
can’t do much other that read a book or write. Pubs are out for me: after developing a large pain in the side
*(27/5/05. ritbl bowl sndrome kkordn 2 WjAoLhLn) (6/7/07. twoz rrtbl bowl sindroem) at the start of the
month Ive cut right back on alcohol. At night in bed I look out at the stars through the window of the van.
16/4 /01 . St. Mary Bernard Soubirous (Virgin 1844-1879). Sister Mary Bernard Soubirous …
Bernadette … January … Lourdes … French Pyrenees … Francois … Louis Soubirous … Bernadette … First
Communion … Thursday, February … Bernadette … Marie … Jeane … Grotto … Massabielle … Gave …
Lady … Lady … Marie … Jeane … Lady … Lady … Our Lady … Bernadette … February … Penance!
Penance! Penance! … February … Priests … Immaculate Conception (16/7/07. th¤dir & ¤knogrfeovt
bkaem ppuelr prakts oenle nth mid16th snchre & rrowzd much kntrovrse til IL PAPA PIUS IX dklairdt
chrch DOGMA n1854)… March … June … Bernadette … First Communion … Grotto … Mayor …
Lourdes … Bernadette … Lady … Bernadette … Bishop … Tarbes … Commission … Lourdes … Bishop …
July … Bernadette … Nevers … Grotto … Mary … Bernadette … God’s … September … December …
Bishops … Tarbes … Nevers … Grotto … April … White Lady … Bernadette … Benedict … Pius. 8.30am.
There is dew on the car. Last night I lay in bed with all the windows & car doors & sliding door & tail gate
open; it was almost like sleeping outdoors. Sometime in the middle of the night (later I saw that the southern
cross was overhead) I became aware of how still it was. It was warm. Then I heard what sounded like the faint
roar of a distant ocean. It got louder, it was coming my way. It was extraordinary. I realized that out here it
couldnt be anything other than wind, perhaps an approaching front. I knew the moment it reached me by the
faintest of breezes, fingers of air that fluttered in & out of the car stroking me with soothing coolness. I lay
soaking it up listening as to a distant ghostly symphony for I now discerned that the pitch & volume were
constantly changing. Then it was gone, the breezes had stopped. Afterwards after getting out to inspect the sky
& a leak (when I got back into bed I realized I had brought in numerous tiny ants on whose nest I must have
been standing in the dark & which had climbed up my legs without me noticing but I couldnt be bothered
shaking out the sleeping bag so I put up with their tiny feet & biting) I kept thinking how amazing it was that at
the age of almost 60 I was still privileged to experience novel events. & it wasnt as if it was a one off. It
happens on every trip & to a lesser extent even in Melbourne. Yet when I am in the city I notice a bleakness in
the expressions on many faces as if they were crushed by boredom. I see plump ladies buying fistfuls of trashy
magazines & I suspect that a good fraction of my neighbours spend most of their spare time staring rigidly at
the telly. It is as if there is a secret door which is quite easy to open, finding it is the problem. & I dont know
how to point it out. I continue writing … 3.15. I’m back at Port Germein (18/3/07. Port Germein (no. 58)
p10), on the way home. Earlier at Port Augusta I checked my message bank. There were two long reports from
Kate both left yesterday evening within a couple of hours of each other. They were mainly about the continuing
crisis at home & had the effect of preparing me for the domestic realities. She seems to think that when I’m on
my travels I spend my walks thinking about what is going on there. The opposite is the case. At home I’m too
intensely involved with problems that can’t be solved but when I’m away I leave them behind completely
because I’m overcome by the surroundings. Shes shifted into a house she shares with a girlfriend near Lygon St.
She says that when shes in permanent full time employment which she thinks is soon she & Joe will buy a
block of land at some place like Daylsford. Am looking forward to catching up with her. Then rang Helen who
sounded considerably calmer than Kate. Shes repainted the bedroom from the black which I used to find very
peaceful as it didnt glow in the dark the way white walls do. I didnt dare ask what colour but she reckons it
looks good. I hope its good for our love life. …I had to leave this morning even though I still have a full weeks
supply of food because I had arranged with the MacTaggarts that if I overstayed a week they would come
searching. Didnt want Jamie to do a round trip of over 70ks tomorrow to check on me. Met his wife on the way
out & talked to her as she sat in the ute with a sheepdog in the back. She was heading off to meet him at a stock
watering point. When he is away contracting she lives with her folks in Port Augusta & works full time nursing
but when hes home shes here too. Because she is a casual she strings together several days of work at a time &
is back at Oakden Hills *(24/5/05. haz chainjd ownrz) in the intervals. I forgot to ask her name. I said I’d be
18
back to take further advantage of their generosity in a better year. On the way out I noticed that two rows of
cypresses opposite the main homestead & a couple of single ones in the yard have been trimmed into the shapes
of cubes.
13/8 /01 ( 13/8/01 – 25/8/01 (no. 23) (18/1/08. & nsrt(s) * ← DANYO RESERVE (no 53).)).
Its 5.30 pm & I’m on what is probably my main escape route (Melbourne - Charlton - Ouyen - Pinnaroo -
Morgan – Burra) 5 ks short of Murrayville in Danyo reserve. First stop was Charlton for a hamburger with the
lot at Lou’s. Maria was smiling to herself as I entered as she knew what I was going to order. I told her that she
made the best hamburgers & I was hard to please. When I was eating it she came over & said: “Have I not lost
my touch?” I told her that she hadnt; I knew coz I go all around australia comparing (18/3/07. ↑N (no. 61)
p16). When she brought the coffee it had a dollop of real cream in it. She wished me a good trip as I walked
out. Since the Ouyen turnoff these are some of the place names I’ve driven through: Galah, Walpeup,
Underbool, Linga, Boinka. Bought a couple of stubbies at Underbool for the road; wanted a beer & a stout but
there was not a single stubby of stout in the pub (she checked out back) nor a customer in the bar. When I got to
Danyo reserve I thought, fuck it, I’ll go on to Murrayville and get one. So I did & got a Southwark Old Stout &
discovered you can get Southwark Black Ale there too, one of my favourites. Now I’m back at the reserve for
the night. The big thrill is testing out the new sleeping bag that I bought at Target for $60. The old one had
frayed apart so that the stuffing inside was spilling out. Oh yes, the hamburger & coffee at Lou’s was $6 & I
recommend you stop there. Its on the right hand side of the main street as you enter Charlton going north. I can
tell there has been no serious rain here but the ground is covered with a green tinge. Its very springlike: no
cloud in the sky & I can hear the calls of at least a dozen varieties of birds. Am not putting up the mozzie nets:
its going to be a cold night & too dry for them here. A truck roars by occasionally on the highway *(2/2/05. I
think it haz since bn doptd az th prffrd Sydney/Adelaid rout x th trukn ndustry so now they roar past l8
in2 th nght & hav made th spot less ttraktv) a kilometre away. The bible is on the dashboard of the van to
deter thieves. A lady at litho house in Nth Melb yesterday criticized me for using it for that. She said I should be
reading it more instead. Along the way I ignored a dead eastern rosella by the roadside as Helen no longer
collects the feathers but I stopped to have a look at a barn owl somewhere north of Sea Lake.
20/8 /01 . 8.15. By sunset yesterday the water had receded to the horizon almost out of sight. This
morning the sea is back. Here is my theory: the salt surface of the lake is almost dead flat (many years ago
Donald Cambell snr. made an attempt on the world land speed record here) but there must be a slight gradient,
maybe only a couple of centimetres in this direction ie. it is the lower end. The sea is quite illusory as the water
only just covers the surface. Weve been having continuous strong south westerlies the entire two days I’ve been
here but at night the wind drops (wind is powered by solar energy) right away. During the day the water is
blown to the other side of the lake, at night it flows back …. Its drizzling as it did during the night so I am
going to wait awhile hoping the clouds break up. Its an opportunity to respond to comments that have been
made to me by a couple of people whove felt that I’ve been disrespectful to philosophers. Their point is that we
need specialists in the same way that a mechanic needs specialist knowledge to understand the inside of cars. I
agree provided the specialists stick to their specialities which in the case of philosophers is usually to provide
the jargon to fool the people so that society can run smoothly (I think from memory Lao Tzu/Te Ching
corroborates the need for it). But the areas I write about are common to everyone. It doesnt take a specialist to
be born, to die, to be amazed by the night sky, to make love, to be lonely, to pray. I write about areas that are the
exact opposite to specialties, that are shared property. I want to be understood by the butcher, the baker & the
candlestick maker more than by philosophers. I would like to be able to talk in large metaphors that speak to
anyone & are easily translatable into other languages. An example would be the language of the bible (& other
books) for instance. When the great prophet says “in my fathers mansion there are many rooms” it translates
easily into any language where there are some large houses. But even in africa where the grass huts have only a
single room you could translate: “in my fathers village there are many huts” or in the arctic: “in my fathers
hunting camp there are many igloos”. It applies to the ‘poems’ I put out which I think of more as statements or
observations not as traditional poetry. People that we call poets are usually infatuated with the beauty of their
particular language & are happy to embroider nuances of feeling or esoteric & very individual perceptions.
Hence they dont translate well. My admiration for Vasco Popa is that he often breaks the stereotype. When he
gets right into the serb mythologising though he loses me. I think the reason why some people believe that
knowledge should take a specialized effort is because science, which is a very precise & complex arranging &
rearranging, works that way. We tend to use it as a measure of all things because of its success in achieving
particular kinds of outcomes. My interest is the opposite. I am interested in things that shimmer, that are born,
that flow & swirl, that join together & dance, that disintegrate & disperse, that die. I am interested in the large
actions that underlie the particularities of language. I think Bertrand Russell couldnt understand Wittgenstein
19
because his imagination could only cope with complexity. Its quite easy to reduce language to basic usage, just
look around, but for complicated minds the simplest things can be the hardest to see. Its 9.45, putting on the
neck muff, putting in the 3 oranges, going for a stroll – south west…. 2.15. Got back at 1.30. Followed the
creek then came back in a direct line. As I was crossing the road a van drove by; mention it because apart from
a truck that I passed parked on the road it is the only vehicle I’ve seen since turning off at Iron Knob. I notice in
the small memo notebook I keep in the glovebox Helens written a few poems. She must have done it on our last
trip & forgotten - she doesnt value what she does:
the stones speak / of the immensity of time / the long stately dance / of continents / convulsive fire /
water’s patience / the gnawing teeth / of ice and wind / of being born and born / and born again / into this
pebble in the creek / this glinting grain / of sand and heres a beauty : galah / not a good name / for a bird
so / pink and grey and / bright / and beautiful
Returning to the topic. What are we doing when we say good/bad? The thing I know for certain that we
always do is divide into two. Since it can be applied to almost any situation its a very basic distinction
important in discussion of moral issues. We tip out the apples & put all the shiny ones in one pile & the wormy
ones in another. Then we throw out or push away the bad ones & draw the good ones into our sack. Thats the
action of it – its basic meaning. We do the same with people: surround ourselves with the good ones & push
away or avoid the bad. Love/hate are refinements of the basic move but when we love we try to get right inside
or we try to eat up or consume (get the other inside), to digest each other. (Melbournes very own philosopher,
Raymond Gaita can do much finer distinctions eg. distinguish between authentic & inauthentic love) (While on
philosophers, Peter Singer is of course perfectly correct in the paper that he has written arguing that you cannot
logically (logos: ‘word’ in greek) show that people shouldnt copulate with animals. Thats because you can’t
show hardly anything is necessarily so in language except in mathematics (and I doubt that too for if they are
systems of tautologies how come the end of a string of statements is different to the start ie. wherein lies the
difference?) We know (& it can change) not to copulate with animals for reasons outside language (where most
of our activity is) in exactly the same way a dog knows not to screw a wombat or bandicoot or person (unless
its a drovers dog (18/3/07. 30/11/04 – 9/12/04 (no 52) pp8-11))) ( 28/8/01. Lucky Bay. Putting it another
way: anyone who needs logical reasons is in serious trouble even if he does find them). The division I’ve
described is about all that I personally feel confident I know.
We can know what is good for us
But we cannot know what we are good for
(Sayings of a…z)
When we say it with the emphasis we do as in good/evil it means we hand over the decision of who
goes into which pile to priests. When we say criminal/lawful its to the state. When weekend tabloids write
articles with titles like ‘The Face of Evil’ & I see a photo of some old man who is said to have raped &
murdered children I look real hard as I would like to know how to recognize the type so as to keep them away
from children (or on highways maybe from waving me down & shooting me) but all I see is the face of an
ordinary looking old man. But it makes good copy as religious people see something like the eyes of a demon
peering out. & if the article is ‘The Face of Charity’ they probably see hints of an angelic glow (2/3/07. m¤
sstr, Eglė, nhrdnoezd buerokr@ nSydney rekns ♀ kood nora O Pope Benedict) (Raymond Gaita claims he
can) in the nuns features. I get about in my travels & I’ve never seen an angel or a demon so I dont know how
to recognize the look. What I do know is that I want to push away those who hurt others to where they can’t. In
the lords prayer I interpret the sentence protect us from evil to mean simply protect us from all those things we
try to push away. (I have my own interpretation of the word god in the commandment too). I feel uncomfortable
about the way priests say good/evil. I suspect they are bullshitting. I bet there are any numbers of rabbis who
advocate blowing up palestinians because they are evil terrorists & any number of mullahs who rejoice when
children get blown up in restaurants because they are jewish devils. I am not good at devils & my literary career
as hagiographer is also over. I find it difficult to give advice on moral issues to my own kids (& in fact dont) as
I have trouble finding guiding principles: everything is so complicated, & each case is unique. In those cases
where I know the answer its so obvious that everyone else also does. Usually it is dont hurt people & try to
answer cries for help. (The water is gone again. Theory 2: the salt crust expands a bit & lifts with the warmth of
the day leaving a gap between it & the mud underneath into which the water drains through tiny holes) (6.00.
Walked for a couple of hours to a point where I could better investigate whats with the water – back to the first
theory. Picked up an old but intact .303 bullet on the track that would have been quite easy to drive over or step
on in the dark)
20
24/9 /01 ( 22/9/01 – 1/10/01 (light type by helenz; heavy type by a … z @.) (no. 24)).
The falls proved elusive though the walk was worth it. Onto Swanpool for coffee & the paper. Swanpool has a
cinema specialising in art-house films patronised by people up to an hours drive away. It’s a small, well-kept
place. Then to Moyhu along roads less travelled where we ate a sandwich & then had a beer/squash at the pub.
A larger wellkept town. All this country seems at its peak – lush, long grass, lots of birds, plenty of water - & its
very beautiful in a calm, small-scale way. The hills are rolling & tree-covered, but not the highest in the Great
Divide, so they don’t tower too imposingly over the green cleared land. John has found a small road from
Whoroully to Beechworth, off which is a lovely lane (Kelly’s Lane), off which is an even smaller & more
lovely unnamed lane which we walked along in the warm Northerly which is preceeding a cooler, rainy patch
of weather. We’ve decided discretion is the better part of nature appreciation & will park for the night closer to
the Whoroully-Beechworth entrance to Kelly’s Lane in case it buckets down or a tree falls & cuts the exit. We
are in a large basin surrounded by hills, with a 360° view – couldn’t be anywhere more beautiful. Just
discovered a leech from this morning’s walk to the undiscovered falls – he’d had his fill from the upper part of
my foot & my sock is stiff with blood.
Nearly everything we do we were always going to do. The causes which appear to precede the
actions are only the reasons (rationalizations) given afterwards. The emotions (intentions) precede the
events that appear (are said) to have given rise to them. When colonel Powell says it feels like war he is
saying that it feels like whatever it is that we do when we say war – the action of the word. War means we
kill on a massive scale. It means that we have decided to throw away dialogue as all other options have
been exhausted. Talk of minimizing collateral damage, of why efforts to restrict the theatre of operations
went wrong (of why it all went wrong) are later rationalizations by us to disguise our responsibility for
the initial decision. It is not a coincidence that israel & the palestinian authority are led by generals or
that Powell is a colonel. Most of the key players in the coming events are already men of war – the
decisions were made long ago. There are multiple causes & they have their own causes but I suspect that
it was set in motion by colonel Gaddhafi when he decided to sponsor hijacking. That it stopped after
libya was bombed points to his involvement. Though the method of conducting it is totally new
(campaigns can be separated by what appear to be periods of peace) the end result will be the same:
massive killing. Something else is new. The world is bristling with nuclear weapons. Infinite justice is at
hand. Prepare.
1/10/01 (29/11/07. th ntre woz mstaknle lft owtv th rjnl (Monday)). There were no sunset
colours yesterday but early in the morning I saw a deep pink sky out of the van window. “Pink sky at night,
shepherd’s delight; pink sky in the morning, shepherd’s warning”, and so it proved to be. It was fine &
warm after breakfast, though cloudy, when we went down to the river to burn our rubbish safely in the
sand. Since we haven’t been into a town since Cootamundra the flotsam & jetsam of the trip has been
piling up. The fire was nicely underway & (hopefully) most of the rubbish burnt when we were overtaken
by a swarm of what I first thought were tiny black flies, but turned out to be swarming ants (the females
take to the wing escorted by their beaus to settle new territories, usually before rain). They were
pestiferous – getting down the neck of my shirt & up my sleeves & John was covered in them having put
on his shorts. We made a run for the van & further up the road stopped to spray it as they had flown in
with us, but they were still flying through the area. We surprised some sheep by galloping up & down the
road in an effort not to get covered again. We decided earlier to drive south via Jugiong to Tumut via
Brungle. Not a great decision as the pink sky in the morning should have told us. The rain set in at Tumut
& basically didn’t let up till we got to Holbrook. At Rosewood we stopped to read the paper in a little
shelter in the park. From Tumut we travelled 70 odd ks through pine plantations on either side of the road,
most with solid understoreys of blackberries. I actually have fond memories of pine plantations round
Forrest, where John & I & the kids spent many hours picking mushrooms (saffron milkcaps, fried with
bacon pieces & onions & served with a dollop of sour cream) & collecting pinecones which make great
additions to open fires. But they were small & easy underfoot. These ones became oppressive & it was a
relief to get out of them, back into the rolling pastures again.
disciplined europeans
elegant pines
in their tidy ranks
look on with disapproval
at the gums over the road
staggering up and down the slope
bristling with broken branches
trailing tatty streamers of bark
like drunks at a footy match
leaning on each other
or lurching off at dangerous angles
21
laughing like drains
tossing their larrikin challenge into the air:
“well, whadda you looken at then, mate?
yair, whadda you looken at then?”
Out of Batlow there are large (apple?) orchards entirely under netting, so the hillsides look like a
Christo performance. Rang mum this morning to say “Thanyoufavingme” – she sounds fine. Got a happy
birthday message from Kate. Shopped up at Tumut at Woolworths – its much better than Coles in Ivanhoe –
got a chicken dim-sim, 2 pieces of chicken & a bag of mixed nuts for my birthday party, which continues
this evening with the second bottle of wine from “Fruit Ballad”, the fruit winery near Narooma on the South
Coast. Last night’s was Lavender and Apple, tonight’s is Rose Petal and Honey – the piece de resistance.
The combination of good wine & warm loving went to my head last night & I composed 4 poems during the
wee small hours. Its been a great trip & a truly memorable birthday.
birds grow in the grass up here
cockatoos
scattered across the slopes
like lilies of the field
suddenly able to fly
*
in a shock of colour
parrots
leap up from the grass
ruby and sapphire
citrine and emerald
a handful of jewels
flung into the afternoon sky
*
head cocked
eye bright
a young magpie
stands attentive
considering the slow scrape of worm
click of clumsy beetle
sudden whirr of grasshopper
learning the lessons of grass
*
a flock of ibis
sits in dead trees
dozing in the sun
do they dream
of the glory days
when great Thoth stood beside the scales
and watched along his curving beak
as heart was weighed against feather
under the eternal gaze of golden Ra?
22/10 /01 ( 22/10/01 – 2/11/01 (no. 26)). Midday. Im at the Anakie Gorge picnic area in the
Brisbane Ranges north of Geelong. Dont have a definite appointment till November 3
rd
when I promised to
meet Saulius Varnas (6/11/01. Port Germein. Originally trained as an astro-physicist; fluent in litho, polish,
russian and english) & an old school friend (3/11/01. Whose been at a conference on intensive care in Sydney
as hes in charge of such a unit in Vilnius, lithuania) of his at 5 pm at the kiosk in Wilpena in the Flinders
Ranges to show them around for a couple of days. In the meantime the plan is to amble around the countryside
on minor roads & tracks without using maps (which Ive nevertheless brought, including the Vic Roads Country
Directory, just in case). Ive had a bite to eat: turkish bread & prosciutto. I have no major theme that I feel I
should write about & it may be that this wont lead to a piece of writing for distribution. Ive probably written
more than enough for a year & anyway have a piece titled 10/11/01 (because its a palindrome but Im calling
it my election piece) which Im in the process of distributing. Helens no doubt sick of the typing & Im feeling
rather weary of trying to speak clearly. Im in a dark mood (was playing Prokofievs 6
th
symphony etc. on the
way). Some of my neighbours in Melbourne appear to be at their emotional limits, my own family is
undergoing strains, I seem to be overreactive to my surroundings & caught up in my various intensities – but
above all I continue to be disturbed by the implications of the war. Ive always found my life interesting enough;
I dont want to live in more interesting times – or horrible or chaotic times as my parents had to (& me too to a
22
degree). The world has gone insane & Im not all that stable at the best of times. Shimon Peres in an article
published in The Age (which has done an excellent job of presenting a range of reactions & I feel like
congratulating the editor, Michael Gawenda, to whom I lent a tent in his youth for a trip around australia) is
talking like a muslim extremist: of the need to cut off hands – of terrorists. I dont mind that the mannerisms &
voice of George Bush remind me of Smart of ‘Get Smart’ & that he even looks a bit like a relative, 2
nd
cousin
maybe, but what scares me is that he is saying the same things. It supports a theory of mine that people spend
the second half of their life imitating the movies they saw in the first half (19/3/07. ¤ ♪ th@ Gore Vidal hazth
saem th·i). The bombing of afghanistan seems crazy. For every terrorist they kill there they spawn half a
dozen would be terrorists in pakistan. & pakistan has nuclear bombs. It seems very doubtful that Attas group
was more than routinely funded by al Qaeda: any number of middle eastern sources could have provided the
relatively modest sums required (or they could have been raised in the U.S.) While the U.S. withholds the
evidence it is reasonable to presume minimal involvement by bin Laden & Im sure most muslims will take that
attitude. The U.S. must be convinced of bin Ladens danger for there is too much for it to lose by antagonising
the arab world but the evidence has to be available for public scrutiny. Otherwise even among the supporting
countries the conviction will rightly grow that their leaders have acted undemocratically in declar-ing the war
without consultation with their publics. What does it mean to give unqualified support as John Howard has
done on our behalf? We have hitched our carriage onto a vast train whose destination is unknown. It may be
that the U.S. itself doesnt know where it is going. The train has barely left the station. I fear that the events
about to unfold are huge. There is a very poignant passage in the book Radetsky March by Joseph Roth
where a polish count is telling a young recruit on the eastern front (1
st
war) that everything he was seeing about
him, the displays of power, Hapsburg pomp, the time worn certainties they mouthed, were a sham, a mirage,
hiding from view what was already only a carcass. I have the same feeling about us … 3.15. Had a bit of a
catnap in Bamganie Forest reserve which is pretty. The disadvantage of travelling like this is that I dont know
where I am should I wish to return. I was fotografing a roadside flower earlier when a car with a couple of
women stopped to ask what I was doing – sure sign that Im off the beaten track. I havent been through a town
since leaving Melbourne & suspect that Im somewhere southwest of Ballarat. Might drive along a highway if I
cross one to look for a pub. Passed an ostrich farm . Also a pet crematorium. Its warm. Am beginning to submit
to the healing power of the countryside … 4.40. Now heres an extraordinary event: Ive ended up for the night at
Surface Creek Picnic Area in Enfield State Park. Its the exact same spot I spent my first night at about the same
time last year on my wild 4 day ride with Paranoia. But Ive come here by different roads & didnt recognise the
place till I drove into it. There is a little cross here painted green 1 foot high next to a gum tree. I expect its an
anonymous grave. There is also a stone with chinese inscriptions dedicated to gold diggers who worked & died
in the area. Last time I finished off a bottle of Ramazzotti here & left it standing on a post marking off the
parking space. This time Ive got 3 stubbies that I bought at the Little Hard Hills Hotel in Enfield on the Colac-
Ballarat road. There is no one else here.
29/10 /01 . 7.10am. I am more interested in commenting on matters of the heart than on what
belongs to caesar. I have a standard letter that I send to the electoral commission in which I say I couldnt make
it to a polling booth because my car broke down in the inland as I was hurrying back to vote. (there are skylarks
here introduced from europe; they sing hovering very high in the sky then fall to the ground like stones). World
events are too large to be understood but since every politician, pundit, & scribe has had his say I have been
bold enough to add my voice, the voice of an ordinary person. We should be heard. I am embarrassed by the
fact that I have a habit of sounding authoritative (H says). Im sure no one is taken in. As an additional
contribution to the discussion on good & evil I am quoting from Paul Austers The Book of Memory
(from The Invention of Solitude). I have friends (Denis (2/3/07. ¬n2 ♂z gzbshn 2moro), Walter) who
share Paul Austers left wing interpretation of the events that took place in cambodia. I was inclined to lay the
blame on Pol Pot & his fellow utopians since it was they that did the murdering. However I feel that this
passage goes beyond politics. In it Auster refers to himself with the letter A.
““These are the days of Cambodia’s collapse, and everyday it is there, looking out at him from
the newspaper, with the inevitable photography of death: the emaciated children, the grownups with nothing left
in their eyes. Jim Harrison, for example, an Oxfam engineer, noting in his diary: “Visited small clinic at
kilometre 7. Absolutely no drugs or medicines – serious cases of starvation – clearly just dying for lack of food
…. The hundreds of children were all marasmic – much skin disease, baldness, discoloured hair and great fear
in the whole population.” Or later, describing what he saw on a visit to the 7
th
of January Hospital in Phnom
Penh: “…. terrible conditions – children in bed in filthy rags dying with starvation – no drugs – no food …. The
TB allied to starvation gives the people a Belsen-like appearance. In one ward a boy of thirteen tied down to a
bed because he was going insane – many children now orphans – or can’t find families – and a lot of nervous
23
twitches and spasms to be seen among the people. The face of one small boy of eighteen months was in a state
of destruction by what appeared to be infected skin and flesh which had broken down under severe kwashiorkor
– his eyes full of pus, held in the arms of his five-year-old sister …. I find this sort of thing very tough to take –
and this situation must be applicable to hundreds of thousands of Kampuchean people today.” ….Two weeks
before reading these words, A. went out to dinner with a friend of his, P., a writer and editor for a large weekly
news magazine. It so happens that she was handling the “Cambodia story” for her publication. Nearly
everything written in the American and foreign press about the conditions there had passed before her eyes, and
she told A. about a story written for a North Carolina newspaper – by a volunteer American doctor in one of the
refugee camps across the Thai border. It concerned the visit of the American President’s wife, Rosalynn Carter,
to those camps. A. could remember the photographs that had been published in the newspapers and magazines
(the First Lady embracing a Cambodian child, the First Lady talking to doctors), and in spite of everything he
knew about America’s responsibility for creating the conditions Mrs. Carter had come to protest, he had been
moved by those pictures. (I can hear a very strange booming birdcall which I suspect is a plains bustard but I
havent got my I.D. book to check). It turned out that Mrs. Carter visited the camp where the American doctor
was working. The camp hospital was a make-shift affair: a thatched roof, a few support beams, the patients
lying on mats on the ground. The President’s wife arrived, followed by a swarm of officials, reporters, and
cameramen. There were too many of them, and as they trouped through the hospital, patients’ hands were
stepped on by heavy Western shoes, I.V. lines were disconnected by passing legs, bodies were inadvertently
kicked. Perhaps this confusion was avoidable, perhaps not. In any case, after the visitors had completed their
inspection, the American doctor made an appeal. Please, he said, would some of you spare a bit of your time to
donate blood to the hospital; even the blood of the healthiest Cambodians is too thin to be of use; our supply
has run out. But the First Lady’s tour was behind schedule. There were other places to go that day, other
suffering people to see. There was just no time, they said. Sorry. So very sorry. And then, as abruptly as they
had come, the visitors left.””
11.25. Swan Reach. Im in the Len White reserve at a picnic table whose top consists of a massive piece
of slate coloured stone. Im surrounded by wood ducks browsing on lush lawn & looking out over the Murray
river to where I can see a flock of pelicans perched on a river red gum log lying in the water on the other side.
Ive just finished reading the Australian; couldnt get The Age as this is S.A. Its very peaceful, Im the only
one here. When Ive read over the last couple of journal entries Im taking the ferry (free in S.A. unlike in
N.S.W.) & continuing on in a north westerly direction. Im still not using maps (or looking at info boards) &
certainly not a compass but I seem to be getting there. My internal direction finder is getting more accurate with
practice (people who dont wear watches have told me they can tell the time fairly accurately too but lose the
ability once they get one). Im getting very good radio reception from Port Pirie which is the direction I want to
head in…. 4.50. In the pub at Eudunda & when I leave here Ill probably go to my regular camping spot at
Words End near Burra which is less than an hours drive away. Since leaving the Pinaroo Loxton road yesterday
Ive been mostly on dirt. Somewhere about 35ks south of here I stopped at a creek called Levi Creek for a bite to
eat, a dip in the water by way of a wash, & a walk for 1½ hours or so. Flushed a couple of wood ducks in the
grassy gravel of the creek bed & when I looked down saw 10 or so very small ducklings flattening themselves
against the ground. Then they rushed off in every direction. One of the parent birds kept up an injured bird act
till I was a few hundred yards further up the creek. I felt I had caused mayhem like a giant blundering into a
fragile domain. Hope the parents manage to round up the babies. My main concern for tomorrow is to time it
right for a lunch of pies with a plunger coffee at Wirrabara …. 6.40. Felt good as I was driving in. Its one of the
quite a few regular places I stop at that feel like home. The little pile of wood Saulius (Saulius Varnas means
Sun Crow which makes him a kind of oxymoron) collected for our fire when he camped a night here with me is
still intact. That night when the kangaroo shooters got going in the paddock across the fence he thought he was
going to die, he said next day. On the way out of Eudunda today I checked the message bank & there was one
from H. Everything is fine: shes meeting up with Kate tonight; school function tomorrow night; Mark has
completed the bunk (2/3/07. n ¤m z¤ maek theez +ishnz) & most of the shelving in the front room at
Miller st. At Robertstown (Lance Morton probably knows it) I rang Ivanhoe. I hadnt realized H would have
already left to meet Kate. Dan answered the phone. He sounded very chipper. Hes not leaving till next
Thursday. Yesterday 5 ex Ivanhoe primary school kids boozed on at our place: Ben, Dan, Kieran & his brother
Chris & Zac Jones who has a job washing dishes at the Firestation café that he got through Ben. Dan says Joe
was shouting drinks a couple of days ago so I suppose hes had his first pay. Wonder if he forked out $100 board
to H (will find out tomorrow). Theres been someone in here since I was here last (see story 13/8/01-
25/8/01): there are fresh tyre marks & some of the branches overhanging the track have been recently lopped
with a chainsaw.
(28/2/07. Completion of Mondays from folder 2. (nos. 17 – 26 of anthology))
24
3/12/01 ( The Hat (no. 27)). Today I wore the hat for the first time except for the
fotos H took of me in it at North Wharf on saturday. For most of the time since I found it in
pristine condition on a remote stretch of rocky shoreline between Green Cape & Pulpit Rock in
the Ben Boyd national park in N.S.W. almost 3 years ago its been an ornament in the lounge
room of the Ivanhoe house. It has a badge on it which says: OFFICIAL MEMBER The Outback Club
LEE KERNAGHAN. I wore it into the state library where I had an arrangement to give it to Frank
Lovece who was to pass it on to Don with whom he works who will pass it on to Adam Cadd
who will pass it on to Warren Willman if it belongs to him as I feel confident it does. Otherwise
it will be returned to me. I noticed that the badge has become somewhat rusty: when I found the
hat it was shiny new. I had taken the hat to Miller st. last week in anticipation of todays event. I
wanted to hand it to Frank to pass on to Don (to whom I could as easily have given it directly as
Ive been giving him my writing for over six months) because it was with Frank that I had been
discussing ‘coincidences’ (prior to me writing the piece ‘22/10/01 – 2/11/01’) & it was him that
put me onto Paul Austers ‘The Invention of Solitude’ of which ‘The Book of Memory’ is the 2
nd
half. On that occasion Frank told me how once when he & Marissa were stone broke they were
walking along a street on a windy day talking about what they would most like to do if only
they had some money & had just decided that it would be to eat a pizza when a $20 note came
fluttering along the pavement. So they went & got a pizza. ‘The Book of Memory’ gives
examples of the coincidence (16/7/07. 2dae ¤ t The Impact of the Highly Improbable x
Nassim Nicholas Taleb (Dean’s Professor in the Sciences of Uncertainty at the University of
Massachusetts at Amherst) © 2007. Penguin) of unlikely events from Paul Austers life & my last
written piece made commentary on it. I wanted to include Frank in the chain of events &
connections that go to make up the story ‘The Hat’ because I realized, at the same time as it
became clear to me that I should write an account of its journey, that it belonged to this class of
events. Mostly though the story writes itself as of the 5 journal entries that go to make it up 4
have already been written; 3 of them are nearly 3 years old. I intend this for ‘publication’ next
year after me & H come back from the north coast of N.S.W. in late january. (30/12/01. but we
are back already after being only one day into the trip proper. Vi has had another TIE/stroke &
is in hospital. Shes OK but when youre 86 everything is serious. When we heard the news we
were at Smiths Lake, 30ks south of Forster). H has done enough typing & Ive put out so many
pieces this year its getting a bit pricey - & Im still to post my xmas cards. It will be a good one
to start the ball rolling for 2002 & Im excited at using a word as title, a departure from my usual
practice.
Anyway before meeting Frank at the state library I first called in on Dennis Spiteri, at the
Melbourne Uni library book storage warehouse where he works, to return his copy of the
beautiful volume he had lent me of the works of the german romantic painter Caspar Friedrich.
Ive always liked Friedrich & have been influenced by him to take back shots of people when
fotographing them in scenery rather that restricting myself to standard front on mug shots. I
prefer the kind of relationship that it posits between man, nature & fotographer. Its why I got H
to take several shots of me the day before yesterday at North Wharf wearing the hat from
behind looking up into the sky. I am hoping to use a panel of the fotos or a single one if its good
enough as cover to this piece. I was wearing the hat of course when I dropped in so he already
knows the story. I explained that I was handing my story ‘22/10/01 – 2/11/01’ to Don at the
same time as he said “Ive met a guy called Adam who knows you.” I couldnt remember anyone
by the name but after Don said that Adam had a good memory of me we established the Ensay
connection & then I twigged that he was one of the two jehovahs witnesses I had met 3 years
ago. Its impossible for me to consider this unlikely occurrence without writing about
Merrilands High School because Geoff Bigmore who was responsible for converting Adam
25
Cadd & Warren Willman (& later Cathy Smith) to the faith of the jehovahs had been a student
of mine there as had Cathy Ward (later Smith). Now it so happens that in the story I was
handing to Don I had mentioned that I had lent a tent to Michael Gawenda, editor of the Age
newspaper. (I also mention the bible on the dashboard). Is it or is it not flukey then that I lent
the tent to Michael Gawenda because his sister (an outstandingly enthusiastic teacher of english
literature & a theatre person) Rita, in the english department I ran at the school, had asked me
for it on his behalf? If I remember rightly Cathy Ward was an english lit. student which means
that she was probably taught the subject by Rita. I think that was the year I taught english
expression to all 3 matric. classes in the school. In those days Geoff Bigmore was not a witness
& if anyone had suggested to me that in later life he would have been responsible for
introducing that brand of christianity into East Gippsland I would have gone hee because he
didnt seem the type: too happy go lucky. As it turned out he built a house in Ensay (after first
living in an army tent which Ive fotographed & in which he had an encounter with a black
snake) which when he left to start a mission in northwest australia he left to Cathy & Bruce
Smith. I think Cathy had been a heartthrob of his before she married Bruce – or something like
that. So now this has become the story of Geoff Bigmore of legendary stature for Adam Cadd &
Warren Willman the rightful owner (I think) of the hat which is even now trying to find its way
back to where it belongs on Warrens head. When I finished explaining it all to Dennis his
comment was “small world”. People keep saying it to me - & so do I! Another observation
about Merrilands H.S. When I wrote the story ‘25/1/00’ which started off my practice of
handing out pieces of writing & was itself triggered by a discussion I had had on coincidence
(5/12/01. with Warren Burt who now tells me that the opinions he expressed then are not
necessarily his own) as well as by a particular kind of experience I was subject to of over-
familiarity with my surroundings I mentioned two schools: Thornbury H.S. & Merrilands H.S.
A month or so after I had distributed it me & H were about to cross Brunswick st. one evening
when we saw ‘gay & guy’ waving to us frantically from the other side. I had mentioned them in
that piece & had given them a copy. When we crossed the road one of them explained how
weird it was to read it as they were the schools he had taught at before leaving the department. I
hadnt known anything about their past let alone that he had been a teacher. Flukey or not?
Incidentally (& irrelevantly) Dennis pointed to a copy of Paul Austers ‘The Music of Chance’
on a bench in his office. He is about to read it because I mention it in ‘22/10/01-2/11/01’. Ive
previously complained that I read all sorts of things people throw at me but that Ive never met
anyone whose read a book Ive mentioned. So now its no longer true but I dont know if to be
pleased or not as its one book I recommended as not worth reading. (30/12/01. disregarding my
decision in the story ‘22/10/01-2/11/01’ not to read another Paul Auster book Ive read two
more: ‘Mr. Vertigo’ which made me realize that Austers dialogue is comic book language & ‘In
the Country of Lost Things’ which is very scary & worth reading.)
When I got to the state library I found that Frank hadnt come into work. His health is not
good lately. So I handed the hat directly to Don to give to Adam. I was curious to know what
was the nature of their connection. I suggested that it must be through Merrilands H.S. (since
Don also went there though he was not a student of mine) & Geoff Bigmore. But Don looked at
me blankly & explained that his sisters were jehovahs witnesses. Thats the connection: Adam is
going to marry one of his sisters. Moreover Don has only met Adam once & was very surprised
to hear that my memory of him was from 3 years ago as Adam had talked about me in a way
that had made Don think we had met just a few months back. He volunteered that Geoff was
already a jehovahs witness in the 70s, long before any of this. I leave it there. End of story. Next
year Ill get him to pass on copies of it to Adam & Warren, Cathy & Bruce, & to Geoff Bigmore
himself if he can be located.
26
(4/12/01. I dont know how but I have a hunch this story is relevant to the hindu notion
that a lie is multiplied 500 times; it also may go to illustrate the biblical assertion that the sins
of the fathers are visited on their children even unto the 100
th
generation; not sure though if it
has anything to do with Cecilias claim from across the road at Miller st. (sister of Kate with
whom she is known to swap clothes if not identities) that the trajectory of her life may have
been irrevocably derailed by a book shes forgotten shes read). (30/12/01. or is it an illustration
of Dr. Stanley Milgrams ‘six degrees of separation’ theory? (8/7/07. fue trak linkjz btwen
rsoesi8sv trrrsts ue shood taekt →2 rkownt fue doent wont2b snoed wth 2··i naemz (19/7/07. but
thei proble doo – soez2 rp·2b n 2b gtn rzults 4 takspaer $$)))
*
Addendum
(30/12/01. in the week before me and H left for the holidays I dropped into the library to
catch up with Frank again & Don who happened to be on the desk said “hold the presses”. He
says Adam Cadd cant remember that a hat was lost by Warren Willman but has not yet caught
up with him to make sure. By now it may well be on its way back from Adam to Dons sister to
Don to me. (28/7/07. tz ←nth stude nMiller st. WstMelb.))
11/2 /02 ( 7/2/02 – 22/2/02 (no. 28)). It started drizzling as I was preparing to go for a walk
after trying to ring H yesterday & by nightfall it was raining properly. It rained all night & there are plenty of
showers about this morning. (10.45) At least I slept well & long soothed by the sound on the roof of the van. Im
trying to get through to H again but both the lines in the library are engaged. I could leave a message on her
mobile but I dont know if she has a habit of checking it. The sun is breaking out but its not a day for a long
walk. After I make the call Im going into Narooma to read the paper. About 5 ks this side of Narooma is a fruit
wine place where Ill be stocking up with a few bottles of rose and lavender wine for birthdays etc. (I did get
through & shes volunteered to go halves with me; theres a big wind out there; Im sitting in the car overlooking
a choppy sea) Before I go Im copying out the quote from Foucaults The Use of Pleasure. I want to
comment on it later in the day but its worth putting in for its own sake, he says it so well. Its the first paragraph
of chapter 3, titled ‘Enkrateia’ (meaning self-mastery over desires & pleasures):
“The interiority of Christian morality is often contrasted with the exteriority of a pagan morality that
would consider acts only in their concrete realization, in their visible and manifest form, in their degree of
conformity with rules, and in the light of opinion or with a view to the memory they leave behind them. But this
traditionally accepted opposition may well miss the essential elements of both. What is called Christian
interiority is a particular mode of relationship with oneself, comprising precise forms of attention, concern,
decipherment, verbalization, confession, self-accusation, struggle against temptation, renunciation, spiritual
combat, and so on. And what is designated as the “exteriority” of ancient morality also implies the principle of
elaboration of self, albeit in a very different form. The evolution that occurred – quite slowly at that – between
paganism and Christianity did not consist in a gradual interiorization of rules, acts, and transgressions; rather, it
carried out a restructuration of the forms of self-relationship and a transformation of the practices and
techniques on which this relationship was based.”
…. My memory is playing tricks on me. Fruit Ballad Country Wines is at Quaama, closer to Bega. It
was closed today anyway. I got that from their brochure at the Narooma info office. Their Tel/Fax: (02)
64938382. Website: www.fruitballad.com.au E-mail: sue@fruitballad.com.au. At the info office I also picked
up a calendar titled ‘Eurobodalla Stormwater Calendar’, subtitled ‘The Drain is Just for Rain’. Its illustrated by
primary school kids in the shire. Across the road I bought 3 stubbies which I asked to be put in a paper bag so
they wouldnt warm up on me too fast & he not only done that but broke up a cardboard carton so the top could
be snugly folded down for added insulation. Earlier I walked the new boardwalk that was being constructed
when we were here last winter. Thats from the bridge to the coast on the northern side of Wagonga Inlet.
Bought a piece of grilled fish (flathead) at the place I was reading the paper in (Age) for $5. It must have been
the smallest fillet ever & it came with a cupful of rice (that I hadnt asked for) to disguise that you were being
ripped off. Ate the last of my turkish bread because I thought it mightnt last till the evening as I had been
picking the mould off it yesterday & this morning. I am at the picnic area on Corunna lake just off the highway.
Returning to the passage by Foucault (yes! stubby no. 2 (Coopers Sparkling, no.l was Reschs Real) is very
cold).
I think Foucault is justified in rejecting the interiority/exteriority mode for comparing christian to
classical greek morality as he is anxious to stress the evolutionary nature of the development as against a
27
revolutionary replacement of one structure by something completely different or opposite. Many people (eg.
Derrida) are finding the inside/outside distinction to be no longer a satisfactory way for us to talk about
ourselves. For mine, the distinction is meaningless. For instance, the way people dress is said to be an aspect of
their exterior nature, a superficiality, while poetry is claimed to be an expression of interiority – it comes from
somewhere deep we are told. Rubbish! (3
rd
stubby, Sheaf Stout, still pretty cold) Neither is more interior or
exterior than the other. You write with hand & pen & the product is on bits of paper that lie scattered on the
table & can be sent far away.You dress with your hands just as you write poetry with your hands &, if anything,
the clothes are more connected to you as they stay right next to your skin. The processes involved in choosing
what you write are similar to the ones in choosing what you wear: sorting, comparing, discarding, repeating.
The inside/outside metaphor is used to sort things into two groups. It is a vehicle for making value judgements.
We have a habit of putting the things we value less outside of the box: appearance is superficial, quick changes
are chameleon-like, the wearing of cheap jewellery is an affectation, but things we value more: ownership of
expensive jewellery, endurance, courage, any kind of moral fibre, & above all thought (since it leads to science
we say) as coming from the inside (we keep valuables in a box) which we associate with stillness & perhaps the
permanence of god (the centre of a circle is a still point; deep water is still as any diver can tell you but its
choppy on the surface). The value judgements come first & then we look around for the metaphor that would
allow us to reinforce them. After awhile the metaphor becomes more real (we forget that its only a model) as it
gains support from various discourses (using the word in Foucaults way) & if we all agreed on it it would
become a solid object. But among philosophers it is being discarded. I want to comment on the passage from
Foucault because despite appearances I dont think he manages to. The underlying notion that leads to the
metaphor inside/outside is the division into two & no matter how hard we try to get away from it it just keeps
resurfacing in different disguises. The greeks talked of self control or self mastery but if the self is being
controlled or mastered who is the controller, who the master? Its as if there are two. The 3
rd
vol. of The
History of Sexuality is called The Care of Self. Who is the carer? Or are we to imagine that the self is
split in two so that one part, which doesnt care for itself, is caring for the other? Elsewhere Foucault talks of the
art of self & the style of self. Who the artist? Who the stylist? In the passage he feels as if he has solved
something by replacing interiority/exteriority with “forms of self-relationship”. Are there two – can the self
have a relationship with itself? (other than masturbating?) And if there are how do they differ from the exterior
& the interior ones? The duality from which Foucault tries in vain to extricate himself is integral to the culture
of classical greeks (& hence ours) which is the source of his inspiration. Socrates (reputed to have been able to
hold his drink though he did everything else in moderation) who knocked up saying that he didnt know
anything nevertheless took the soul so much for granted that he valued it more than his life. Is the division into
the soul & body that he made anything other than the same division into two: the thing we dont value (what
passes) & what we do (reputation)? What passes (ourselves); reputation (others). (Incidentally both Heraclitus
& the Dhammapada (3
rd
cent.) talk of the soul, that is if the translators are correct). It seems to me that the
division into two is the most tenacious language move in the history of ideas (Foucault was the prof. of the
History of Systems of Thought at the Sorbonne Uni.). I suspect nevertheless that Foucault would be secretly
pleased if I were to accuse him of inheriting his ‘care of self’ directly from Socrates ‘soul’.
The flight of the alone to the Alone is no journey for the feet.
Plotinus
Two made one are never one.
Heraclitus
18/2 /02. 9.15. Just noticed that the 1
st
of march isnt a friday. Hope H doesnt get her dates mixed
up & miss the flamenco show. Theres no mobile reception here for me to leave a message but maybe theres a
phone at Potato Point. Potato Point is composed of large well appointed houses but it doesnt have a town feel.
There is no shop, not even a shelter to get out of the rain. Last night I shifted to the southern side to the other
spot I had sussed out just next to Jamiesons Point. Its very pretty & quiet & I can have a dip in the banked up
mouth of the same creek (2/3/02. I was wrong. Its a different creek.) I was parked on the night before last. The
mozzies arent too bad as its turned out. After I finished writing yesterday arvo I did a walk to the south from
here & its all very beautiful & caused me to change my mind about the place. There is an isolated entry to the
beach about a kilometre away which must be the continuation of the Lake Brou track that I said wasnt worth it
a few days back. What I saw of that end of it is great. It goes under a canopy of spotted gum forest to what
would be a very private place to prop behind the dunes. There is another lake this side of Lake Brou called Lake
Tarourga & I have found out how to access that too. After I write a bit more Im going back there to walk further
28
up the Lake Brou track. Its cloudy with the occasional spit of rain as it was all day yesterday. The weather
prediction for the arvo & the next few days is for showers & the occasional thunderstorm. Its an encouragement
to sit in the car writing.
The greatest challenge to the theistic point of view that I know of is presented by confucius. He has said
clearly that he is not like one of those who receive their knowledge directly but that his is a secondary
knowledge coming from careful observation of human institutions & behaviour (1/1/08. n Barbarian in
Asia Henri Michaux kwots Confucius kwotn nuthr ch¤nez flosfr: “To seek the principles of
things that are hidden from human intelligence, to perform extraordinary acts that
appear foreign to man’s nature, those are things that I would not like to do.”). The reason it
presents such a challenge is because he comes to the same conclusions as many religious do without recourse to
a higher authority. Essentially it boils down to saying that fulfilment is achieved through service to others.
When men who claim to be inspired cite a higher authority for their pronouncements the rest of us are always
faced with the problem that we dont know whether they are making it up or not (21/3/09. “It is, therefore,
necessary to be suspicious of those who seek to convince us with means other than
reason, and of charisma~ leaders: we must be cautious about deleg8ng to others our
judgement and our will. Since it is difficult to distinguish true prophets from false, it is as
well to regard all prophets with suspicion. It is better to renounce revealed truths, even if
they ex☼t us by their splendor or if we find them conveni because we can acquire
them g is. It is better to con 1self with other more modest and less exciting truths,
those 1 acquires painfully, little by little and without shortcuts, with study, discussion,
and reasoning, those that can be verified and demonstr8d.”). So on the face of it it would
appear that there is no necessity for a god & for those who claim private access to his thoughts. Honest
observation & scholarship can lead to the same results. Unfortunately the problem is not solved as easily as
that, rather it gets shunted to another location. For if we believe what men like confucius have had to say it is
because we accept that they have greater powers of observation, or are smarter, or more dedicated than the rest
of us. It is not for nothing that confucius had thousands of disciples in his own lifetime. They hung on his every
word because he himself had become the authority. It became a case of confucius say this, confucius say that &
that was the end of it. There has not been a better example of a ‘truthsayer’ in the sense that the classical greeks
& Foucault use the term than he was. I think it boils down to the same thing: we decide who is a truthsayer,
whether he be religious or secular, from the example set by his whole life. But my own experience is that
everything is given freely. One reason I am against copyright is because I cannot claim ownership over what I
havent earnt. Thats how it feels. I hope I pass on what I have been given by my writing for it seems that if you
are given something it is meant to be passed on. If what I write benefits one reader I will have been rewarded
for what I havent earnt. Its more than I need. It is because of this experience that I find the claims of confucius
that hes responsible for what he knows, and more, for he claims we should know how much we dont know, to
be inadequate. I am sure the experience I am describing is quite common among artists. Its as if you get led to
where you should be (green pastures). Things that youve kept for no apparent reason suddenly find a use. What
should be hard seems effortless (yet hard earnt in some way too for it may be that you are putting in everything
youve got). Some call it inspiration & when it leaves you you feel empty. People in many walks of life have
testified to the same thing. Sportsmen who seem to be performing at a level beyond everyone else have had a
habit of saying that their ability comes from god. Gary Abblett did, thats why they called him ‘the god’ (I prefer
Wayne Careys ‘the king’). The experience is the same but to attribute it to god is an extra step (an aspect of
culture; you propose a role for yourself in a set of power relationships that have conditioned the use of the
word.) If I were an artist I might favour attributing it to the muses. The nine of them were goddesses but
relatively minor ones. I do what I do like a compulsive hand-washer who goes to a doctor & says please help I
keep washing my hands for some reason, its as if Ive been told to, & Im going through a fortune in soap … well
no, maybe thats an exaggeration, one end of the spectrum.
… Im writing this (5.20) overlooking the north bank of the river going towards the heads from Moruya.
Just tried to get through to Ivanhoe for the umpteenth time but when H is home shes on the net continuously
(2/3/02. not so – though I do use it for work related reasons, I have absolutely no interest in surfing for any
private pleasure. Its Dan reading the Age - helenz). When I finally got through just now Dan answered but
my mobile ran out of power & H wasnt home anyway; she is visiting Vi. Ill give it a final try when I go through
Moruya on the way back to Potato Point. There are heaps of places to stop around here too but I like my spot
there. Ive only got a couple more entries to put in & intend to be home on friday. Ive been driving around from
place to place like a tourist because its drizzled all day (great advice, John). Read The Age in Moruya:
“birthplace of the Sydney Harbour Bridge” whatever that means. Yair, Collingwoods been done in their first
show for the season. Typical! (7/7/07. but Joe & mi wnt→2 thMCG 2dae wairn owr Collingwood skrvz 2
29
thm ↓ thSaents) Walked to the end of the breakwater then drove to Broulee where I walked around the island
reserve. Its very pretty & no doubt swarming with tourists on a good day. There are a number of small copper
plaques cemented into the rocks at the tip of the island. They are simple memorials with just a persons name &
dates of birth & death. Nearby there is a sign saying the erection of new ones is forbidden & any that are put up
will be removed. It also says old ones wont be looked after & that its illegal to replace them or place flowers.
Im off. Oh, yes, Dans got work at the fashion show … The charger for the mobile just busted when I tried to
pull the connection out & it wouldnt. Felt like throwing the phone out too & maybe I will. Dont think Ill replace
me watch either. Ive reached an age when I should be able to do without that crap. I am back at Potato Point.
Got through to Dan again at Moruya. Him & Ben have been out with Kate a few times. She likes her job with
Gallup. As I was driving back over the bridge at Moruya I recognized the pub outside which I killed a dog years
ago (not more than 15 as thats how old the van is & I was driving it). It jumped out the back of a ute on one
side of the road as its owner was coming out of the pub on the other & ran in front of the van.
15/4 /02 ( 15/4/02 – 26/4/02 (no. 29) (18/1/08. & nsrt(s) * ← DANYO RESERVE (no
53).)). 5.30 pm. Melbourne ….Charlton (for petrol & a hamburger & coffee ($6.00) from Maria at Lous) ….
Underbool (for 3 stubbies) & thats where I had a problem because when I went to start the van I couldnt turn
the key & had to ask at the garage for help which ended up costing $10 while I drank one of the stubbies in the
pub. In the end (with the help of tools & the input of several people including a boy mechanic & an old man
who was “good at tinkering with things”) they unjammed the starter lock by the key wiggling method. To fix it
up properly would require a new lock & a couple of days waiting for it to arrive. Drove on to Murrayville for
another couple of stubbies (this may be the way) & once again couldnt turn the key at first but was more
persistent & am hoping Ive found the spot Ive got to pull it back to to make it turn. Now Im 5ks back at Danyo
reserve (7/7/07. DANYO RESERVE (no. 53)) where I nearly always stop on this road.
Im a drover
Ill die riding
Im riding across the saltbush plain
towards the distant sun
when the sun goes down
and the red moon shines
Ill still be riding on
Im a drover
my camp gear is rattling
Im heading for Port Kenny on the western side of the Eyre Peninsula in South Australia. It will take some days
if Im able to start the car. A few weeks ago I bought 4 1: 250000 map sheets that cover the entire peninsula.
Each map covers approximately an area of 120ks X 150ks. I intend to spend most of my time on the one called
“Elliston” (19/3/07. H&mispntlrstmunththr). (Im listening to the alarm chirrup of a willie wagtail). I would like
to forget the world (the israeli army has surrounded the birthplace of the great prophet & shot the nose off the
statue of his mother; somewhere underwater there is a submarine named after him (Corpus Christi) gliding
through the oceans silently to evade detection by the ruskies: it has one hundred missiles each armed with three
nuclear warheads, enough to end civilization; our alliance (of anglos to protect modernity) has chosen to keep
its prisoners in wire cages *(27/1/05. the passge of time haz nly servd 2 hightn my rvulsion @ our
kmplcity. Its growin (28/1/05. gnorz @ me @ nghts & evn @ cside rzorts wth H. I m nable 2 blok it out
az I woz th knwldge of th way th frnch had treatd lgerian prznrs bkoz this time w r in th lliance th@ iz
doin it – ie kmplcit) like a kancer. I knnot dgest it); israeli tank crews say their prayers before demolishing
palestinian hovels; palestinian girls blow themselves up in desperation to kill israeli civilians; meanwhile
Melbourne city is surrounded by more cranes building huge apartment towers than Ive seen since before the last
major recession; (Im drinking a stubby of Southwark Old Stout)( the sun has dipped below the horizon & there
are many beautiful bird calls) & I think our civilization is doomed.) On the other hand I am leaving my
domestic affairs in about as good a shape as could be expected considering the circumstances (16/5/02. But now
things are in disarray again) though I wish Ben would check the level of the engine oil & service his car now &
again. (15/5/02. Last night it was broken into while in the drive of the Ivanhoe house by having the drivers door
jemmied. An attempt was made to rip out the stereo/radio.) (Im writing fast before its dark & I havent eaten
yet). H is back at work today after a two week holiday. The only argument we had was when I tried to convince
30
her that she should not visit Vi for one day a week (saturdays) so that we could spend the entire day together for
walking about the city. I won. Last saturday Dan had promised hed relieve her but when she rang in the evening
to find out how Vi was it turned out he had not bothered. So it goes. He had probably spent the day sleeping &
recovering from playing pool & watching videos with Ben over the previous night. Kate is fine. (I had lunch
with her at Threshermans in Carlton yesterday). She was looking forward to her first teaching round starting
today. I also saw Vi at the hospital for only the second time since shes been there. Shed had a blood transfusion
earlier in the day. It means shes decided that life is worth living even though deaf & bedridden.
once
a man died
lost in the desert
some
died in forests
some
lost at sea
now
men die in
hospitals
It could be that hers is lengthened by Hs being shortened. The quality of her life may be directly or inversely
related to the quality of Hs life. The great men have always preached that fulfilment comes from service to
others so if we are to believe them it could be a win-win situation (a term most likely invented by salesmen) but
they were probably influenced by the example of mothers that had reared them & of admiring females that
easily believed their spiel. (Gautama deserted his wife & child & the nazarene deserted his mother). It may be
that there are real choices to be made: more life for me is less for the other (Dostoyevski analyses the
moral dimensions of the problem in the novel Crime and Punishment). (I can see a very thin new moon
between the native pines & its time for a feed).
22/4 /02. 7.50 (7.20 am S.A. time). There was a big drop in temperature overnight & I have a lot
of condensation in the car. Just after sunrise a thick land mist rolled over the cliff edge & over the sea but its
clearing now.
if you are not satisfied
with the stillness of the night
go and seek
in the depths of the sea
you can make brandy
out of water
flowers
out of sand
seek
and you shall find
ask
and you shall receive
out of beautiful women
come lovers
out of treacherous women
brave men are born
Even as individuals we can be viewed as aggregates of differences that dont necessarily fit together. Each of the
senses (& there are far more of them than people realize) is a separate stimulus response system connecting
entirely different sets of events yet the whole lot have chosen (perhaps at the dawn of evolution the major
31
senses such as seeing, hearing, touch, smell were separate simple creatures in a primordial ocean that later came
together in a cooperative venture) to be housed in the same body in what is not always an easy alliance. Our
awareness is the differences. I like to think of it as a discomfort; others call it consciousness. You walk down a
beautiful summer lane & as you pass a fence you hear sobbing on the other side. You can disconnect yourself
from one of your senses, block your ears, & at the cost of simplifying yourself continue on. Or perhaps you are
listening to birds singing as you stroll along & see someone injured, bleeding by the side of the road. Look the
other way & continue on if you are the kind of person who knows how to block out what he has seen. Most of
us do not want to see or hear & the main method we employ to resolve the difference between the senses is to
hand over the job to the experts. Politicians, rabbis, mullahs, priests, monks, shrinks are only too willing to tell
you what you are & arent or should & shouldnt be seeing & hearing. At a price they will tell you everything
you need to know & more. Karen Armstrong (whose religiosity is pap) will interpret for you what the mystics
saw. Be it the buddha or mohammed, Isaac Luria or the gnostics they are all equally grist for her mill. The other
way is with alcohol, sedatives, opiates, pot, prozac which also are capable of closing off the senses.We are a
play of differences. & those who choose the path of openness had better know that they may not survive. For
the survivors the risks seem to have been made worthwhile by the harmonies that are sometimes visited on
them. I am in balance now & I think it is the result of having spent 3 nights on the cliff edge to the sound of
churning water.
dreams are made of mist
you wake
and they are gone
so too with plans
which like castles in the air
disappear in the sky

it is said
you can mould minds out of clay
you make bread
out of seed
brandy out of
water
yet when
you make a figure out of sand
the next tide
will wash it away
I slept particularly sweetly for most of the night. It didnt bother me when I briefly felt what I knew to be the
mouse on the foot of the sleeping bag. Later I heard it rustling in what I guessed was my rubbish bag. But when
I heard it gnawing in the food box under the bed I put on my headlamp & got up to check. Sure enough it had
gnawed a hole in the other muesli packet. This little guy has good teeth. Ive also got 8 litres of long life milk &
if it put a hole in one of them it would be a disaster. So just now I had another look in the box & besides the
large droppings that it has left behind (from their size I can tell that it has been eating well) I see it has already
had a bit of a go at the corner of one of the milk cartons. So I have no option but to empty the car & rearrange
my stuff. With luck I might flush the critter out, but Im not hopeful. Then Im driving on a bit …. Emptied
everything out & brushed the floors. Lost 3 small cartons of milk all of which had been gnawed on a top corner.
When you squeezed the container milk spurted out but none had spilled into the car. Dug a hole & burnt the
rubbish. The hope was that Id carry the little bugger out in one of the boxes (as I had once before) but no such
luck. There are air vents & all sorts of cavities for it to hide in but from now on it will have no access to any
food except the tomatoes & fruit. Im surprised Ive picked him up as the other two Ive had I got in lusher
vegetation on the east coast.
….(A further comment on our bodies as housing for the senses. Another effective way to distance
ourselves from them by transfering the task to mediators is to rely on newspapers & watching a lot of telly. Its
still experience, of course, but skewed to only several senses. Also its worth pointing out that the body/mind
32
problem that philosophy students are pestered with all over the world relies entirely on acceptance of the
cartesian paradigm. Otherwise it cannot be coherently stated ie. there is no problem. A more satisfying analysis
is to note that one end of the stimulus/response systems that are the senses are bundled together as a single
organism but at the other ends they are all over the place.)
…. (& it is strange that complexity comes from simplicity. It makes you wonder whether everything is
possible. At least we know it is impossible to predict where we are going. & perhaps we carry a memory in the
way we are structured (we are the memory) of the primal single dot that physicists claim we were at the
moment of the big bang & in our confusion, now that we have been scattered, some of us call it god. We ache
for the unity we remember. Teilhard de Chardin, who may have mistaken it for a vision of the future, believed
we were heading for a new unity, wired together by electronics like cells in a supra organism (8/7/07. th~!?).
Others are drawn to the thought that we are forever being scattered further.)
a lighthouse sends
a beam of light
to guide
the voyager across the sea
but who will take him
past the ports
past the headlands and the reefs

to the castles in the depths
where the drowning sailors sing

…. 4.20. A bit past where I had walked to yesterday the coastal track crosses a sandhill that I wasnt going to
risk so I left the car at the mouth of the bay with windows open & walked the 5 or so ks into Baird Bay. There
are some 20 houses facing the bay in a single row along a street with lighting. Talked to a guy who owns the
two biggest ones & a fancy cruise boat in which he takes tourist out. He is one of only 6 permanents there. He
says the track a bit off the coast is fine so Ill use it tomorrow. As I was going along the shore I saw what looked
like a pair of very impressive dorsal fins 100 yards off shore so I waded out in water that never reached the
knees. It was a largish ray with a box-like head & as it paddled it poked the ends of its ‘wings’ above water.
They are called ‘flyaways’ here & they have a habit of following a person. There are thousands of them
according to the bloke. Jones Island just near where I am now has a seal colony which accounts for the ones I
saw yesterday. Couldnt use the public phone because it kept saying the line was in use. Saw one of those syncro
VWs & it looked good: the right size & has good clearance. I can tell from my tyre marks that no one has been
by in my absense . Im right next to the edge of a rock platform thats about 10 ft above the shoreline only metres
away. I can see & hear the big waves breaking in the mouth of the bay but here the water is barely lapping the
shore. Had a dip & it was OK. There are so many kinds of water birds about that Im not listing them but there
are no banded stilts. Pelicans & swans are the most prominent. Despite the sun a fresh breeze makes it a perfect
day.
11/8 /02 ( 11/8/02 – 21/8/02 (no. 30) (18/1/08. & nsrt(s) * ← DANYO RESERVE (no 53).)).
There are a number of insanities
In the world
And my grandfather had them all!
Let us suppose that one fine day
You wished to go
To the other end of the world
In an ox-cart. “Aha”, he would cry,
“Aha!”
Hurry, my little man,
Hurry, my child, run and bring
My prayer shawl
And the pots of clay,
33
And three pieces of cheese,
Two onions
And six pieces of well-salted meat,
Two strong shoes and a pair
Of cotton socks
And one convenient shirt.
When one goes on such a long
Journey,
When one is finally serious,
When one really undertakes
To go
It would be a shame not to be ready.
Leonard Wolf
By contrast I am travelling in a brand new (1695 ks on the clock) Toyota Hiace (short wheel base) van that cost
$30,000 to buy ($200 trade-in on the Nissan) & another $8,500 to fit out: pop-up roof by Sunliner to solve the
ventilation problem I had in the Nissan on hot nights: cost $4,000; two sliding windows: $500; front bullbar:
$280; rubber mat for the floor: $200; large alloy wrap around back bar to sit on & put a stubby down on under
the tail gate that lifts up & also in case I back into a stump & demolish the back of the van *(28/1/05. th tailg8
& bumpr wer dmaged on tuesdy in me bsence while parkd whn I woz vztn ŽVvIaRiBdLaIsS. Th van
haz dun 47000ks) as I could have done on at least 3 occasions in the Nissan if I hadnt had a heavy duty
bumper on that too: cost $800. The boys who made the bar (of Boss Aluminium in Ringwood) suggested I line
the top surface with rubber to protect me arse from freezing & this evening provided just the right
circumstances for testing out its effectiveness. I spent 2 days & a half in the workshop with these guys while
they made the bumper & the 2 aluminium beds, which are the only substantial fixtures inside the van, to my
specifications. The end 1/3 of Hs bed is detachable so I can leave it at home when I travel by myself & the
remainder is used as a table (I am writing on it now under a very bright fluorescent light that apparently hardly
draws any electricity). The beds (& various small extras) cost $1705 & the privilege was all mine as I couldnt
have spent time in finer company. David Whitehead (who is only 24 but I think he owns the company) grew up
on a 7000 acre property 15ks out of Boort on the road to Wycheproof (where I turned off west today to go
through Birchip, Beulah, Hopetoun, Walpeup & Underbool to where I am now 6ks short of Murrayville (to
which I went on to pick up a couple of stubbies one of which (Coopers Stout) Im drinking now & to fill up with
petrol & work out that Im only getting 8ks to the litre so my range at a maximum of 500ks per tankful is hardly
any better than in the Nissan which though it had a smaller tank usually did more than 10ks per litre. The tank
of the Hiace is 70 litres but doesnt fill to more than 80-85% capacity & the higher consumption is caused by the
more powerful engine (2.4 lts) that makes it feel as if youre driving a sedan)) where he would much prefer to be
right now except that it was sold. At a young age he has already been all over the place including fiji where he
worked as a plumber & became acquainted with many “characters” *(2/2/05. 1dr if 1 of them woz th persn I
had met on an rlier trip → Eyre pnnsula hoo had met (or had a vzion of ) JESUS in FIJI (c 15/4/02 –
26/4/02 p22)?). When he was a kid everyone said he should be an artist as he was a natural at those things.
He is married with a small daughter. He made the two aluminium frame (bases are of wooden slats) beds secure
enough to withstand the most bone jarring corrugations as I had told him I often drive long distances on such
roads. One of his knees has been shattered in a motorcycle accident. His aim is to be in semi “retirement” by the
age of 35 so he can concentrate on making the things he wants such as a motorcycle frame of his own design.
The other guy in the factory is Mark Limbom. He is 30 & has a 6 month old pup (with about 20 different breeds
in him, all large & vicious) of a mild disposition called Deemon. Mark is trying to work out how to stop
Deemon farting when they go travelling in his 4x4. Marks favourite drinks, which I got to taste, appear to be
bourbon & coke, & Jim Beam & cola. He has done drugs & learnt the better of it. He supports his mum
financially who made the mistake of standing surety for his brothers loan & could have lost her flat in the
process. Mark made the back bumper & suggested the rubber covering. He doesnt care if he gets alzheimers
because he wont know when hes got it, he said. These boys grind, cut & weld aluminium & other metals all day
long & at the end of the day they sweep up a pan full piled high of metal dust as fine as bulldust. Their faces are
black with oxidized aluminium. When they slap their trousers they make clouds. The only protective gear I saw
them wear were welding helmets & goggles to protect against flying splinters. They do all kinds of custom
34
fabrication & welding & I recommend them. Today is the first day of a trip to test out the new system to which
they have made an essential contribution & so far its working well. Its good to leave Melbourne.
Journey
You can turn away
From the leper’s rattle,
Shut your windows and ears,
Wait until he has passed.
But if once you have heard it
You’ll hear it always,
And because he wont go
You must go.
Pack up a bundle that’s not too heavy,
For no one will help you carry.
Creep away softly and leave the door open,
You will not return.
Go far enough to get away from him,
Board a ship or look for a wilderness:
The leper’s rattle will not fall silent.
If he stays behind you will take it with you.
That tapping on your eardrums – listen! –
Is your own heartbeat

Gunter Eich
18/8 /02. In the weeks before I left I read several essays by Ernesto Grassi that were given
to me by Frank Lovece (he was responding to something I had said about Leon Shestov who was my big
discovery over the period Ive been grounded in Melbourne while changing over the vans). I use a lot of stuff I
get from Frank usually without acknowledgement: he wouldnt want me to keep repeating his name. But I am
careless about sources & derivations anyway because I do not suspect that anything I say or have is my own. I
sometimes get into a frame of mind where everything that people argue about bitterly as if they are expressing
original points of view for which they deserve recognition merges together so that the distinctions are barely
discernable. Arguments about trivia driven by trivial ambition. Grassis essays make it apparent that what I am
saying about language is already anticipated by the neapolitan professor Vico (1688-1744). I had never heard of
Vico – so much for originality! Its worth pointing out though that both Grassis explanations of the role of
metaphor & Vicos of the place of the imagination (& incidentally of Foucaults notion of ‘limits’ & of breaking
through them) show of their inability to extricate themselves from cartesian dualisms. Comprehensive systems
of thought are not overthrown by individual foundations being undermined. They are capable of readjustment &
of sending down new roots. (The ptolemaic system of astronomy could account for any new or anomalous
observations by adding more & more circles & semi-circles within the existing ones & still remain an accurate
navigational tool provided you were a good enough mathematician to work your way through its intricacies. It
was replaced in entirety by the copernican system because the new one was simpler.) Ernesto Grassi is still
hostage to overtones of the metaphysical or platonic hyperspace that we sort of transcend (a word that no one
has been capable of explaining to me) into when we make new connections by way of metaphor. Its as if when
we learn to run after having only been able to walk we were to claim entry into a radically novel domain.
Instead, as any kid can tell you, running is just faster walking. Vicos ‘imagination’ (as explained by Grassi)
remains hostage to Descartes ‘I think’. (2/9/02. For that matter, Einstein is too, when he claims “Physical
concepts are free creations of the human mind, and are not, however it may seem, uniquely determined by the
external world” if he thinks of mind as an entity existing separately to the physical world rather than as the
transactions between people, parts of the body, & of body with surrounds. But maybe he doesnt.) The most
elegant illustration of the nature of language that I know of is Turings (the mathematician who cracked the
german communication code during the 2
nd
world war (2/9/02. A woman did that, but she didnt get the credit
35
for it as usual – helenz.)) demonstration that you can build a machine (& so he anticipated the computer) to
solve any mathematical problem that has a rational number as a solution. This shows that numbers are actions,
albeit precise ones & precisely comparable (does that mean that irrational numbers are comparisons of differing
classes of action which are yet related?). & may I suggest, ladies & gentlemen, that the weapons produced by
the scientists who work in the nuclear armaments industry are no more than elaborations of themselves.
*
When Descartes discovered his famous dictum in one of those overwhelming inspirational experiences
(that perhaps, according to Lev Shestov, all men who have made major contributions have had) as he was
hunched over a pot-bellied stove on a cold night, the significance of which was confirmed later in the same
night by dreams (interesting since he is the darling of rationalists & scientists), he made a pact with the devil
(the faustian one, & the same that was offered earlier to the prophet on a clifftop). He sold out to science by
placing it effectively in the ‘I am’ where it counts (believe me) & relegated the soul to the ‘I think’ where it
doesnt even exist. He didnt see it like that of course but argued that the position of mathematics was very close
& perhaps complementary to that of the soul in the domain of ‘I think’ which in his view was the important one.
But it may be that if you have one you cant have the other. That was the hidden agenda (the devil is tricky) of
the pact. These things only become evident with the benefit of hindsight. He was not to know that he was giving
expression (in spite of himself) to the major discourses of the age that had formed him.
*
I left for a walk at 11 & was back at 4.30. Walked across the lake & over a couple of islands in a north
westerly direction planning to turn east at the end of a loop & walk back to a dune I could see in the distance &
back south along the eastern shore. I dont know if I mentioned earlier that the surface of the lake is not covered
white by salt like Lake Gairdner which is another reason its less spectacular. I find it interesting however. Saw
several sets of camel footprints & there is a small island, no more than an outcrop, which appears to consist of
pure gypsum. At the apogee of the loop, after 3 hours, I stopped to reconnoitre while I still had enough time to
get back by retracing my steps. The dune seemed too far away & when I checked the map it was evident that I
wouldnt reach it in time to get back before dark. When youre some distance into the lake there is a mirage in
every direction you look & the shoreline & islands are reflected in it just as in water. As I looked in the direction
towards the dune I could see what looked like real water on the surface of the lake. So I took out the binoculars
for the first time on the trip for a better view & it looked even more like water. That got me worried as I didnt
want to get trapped behind it so I came back along a more direct line to the west of the watery patches. Ive just
retracted the pop-top which so far Ive been using in exactly the opposite way to what I had imagined I would:
during the day I have it up with the 5 windows unzipped to keep the car cool while Im away & at night I put it
down hoping to retain some body warmth in the smaller space. Time for bed.
23/9 /02 ( 21/9/02 – 3/10/02 (Cursive by helenZ ; plain by a …z @ …) (no. 32)). Up,
dressed, breakfasted & on the road by 8.05 am. Heading west takes determination & luck, as most roads
seem to be aligned north-south. However, we made it westwards to Mt. Alexander in the Mt. Alexander
Regional Park where Logans Lookout showed us where we’d been & Shepherds Flat Lookout showed us
where we wanted to go. Stopped in Maldon for the newspaper & a snack & an attempt to get a map of the
Major Mitchell trail (mentioned on Mt. Alexanders information board) which heads roughly east-west with a
dip south to Portland & then one North to somewhere on the Murray, but couldn’t find one there or a t
Maryborough where we arrived not long after. Maryborough is big & bustling & has lots of impressive gold-
rush buildings, one of which is a grand hotel called “The Bull and Mouth” – interesting combination of
words prompting the idea that much bullshit may have been talked there over the years. Headed then
towards the Pyrenees Ranges we could see in the distance & finally found a lane lined with attractive trees
leading into the back of someone’s sheep property. As we were setting up for arvo tea (lemongrass &
ginger herbal infusion courtesy of Liptons via Maldon Supermarket) the farmer drove in & gave us his
blessing both for the spot for the night & for a walk along his creek, which was bone dry but impressively
deep all along & lined with river red gums. Lots of bunnies around, looking healthy & agile.
In Maldon we sussed out the eatery in the main street thinking a pie might be nice – they were
homemade, but $4.50 each, so we went to the bakery over the road where I got a steak & onion one for
$2.50 & John got a sausage roll for $1.50. Not Wirraburra quality of course, but we didn’t want to behave
like tourists!
Weve done about 500 ks since leaving Melbourne. We are a bit east of the section of
Sunraysia Highway that connects Avoca to St. Arnaud (I think thats what the cocky next to whose
property we are parked said). The highway apparently runs along this side of the Pyrenees Ranges
36
which we can see clearly in the west. When you get into the habit of driving along gravel country
roads at 40-50 ks going nowhere in particular you get to hate highways which you cross now & again
& have to drive along for short distances on occasions. Tomorrow when we get to the Sunraysia
Highway Ill go north only as long as it takes to find a track west into the ranges. Whenever we get to
a crossroad I say to H “which way? Ill do whatever you say” & she usually says “you choose” but if
there is a choice of three roads she says “take the middle one”. People travelling on the highways, by
contrast, are going fast to known destinations where they anticipate having a good time. I wish them
well. H said a good thing this morning. She said she was going for a “swagees breakfast” – that
means a piss & a look around. A couple of gums are in flower nearby & they are full of musk lorikeet
(Glossopsitta concinna) feeding & screeching. In the paddock to the east there is a mixed flock of
several hundred corellas (Cacatua but I cant tell if pastinator or temirostris) with about 50 crows & 50
magpies scattered among them. The other common bird flying about is the galah (Cacatua
roseicapilla). I was amazed this morning by the huge chorus of magpies (& later crows) that woke me
up & then serenaded me back to sleep again. I expect a noisy start to the day tomorrow here too.
This is our first trip in the new van together & H says her bed feels good.
30/9 /02. Dimboola to Natimuk very slowly by byways, including a ½ hour chat to a very
pleasant farmer when we took a wrong turn; he was keen to talk, so we sat in the van with the engine
running (his was too) while we yakked about roads, the drought, emus & kangaroos (the latter are quite
clever, he reckons – his nephew had a dog that chased one into the river & was being held under by the
kangaroo until the nephew dived in & joined the fray), the evil of big corporations (the mobile equipment
on Mt. Arapiles apparently can only handle 14 calls at a time & people’s phones fade in & out & its no use
complaining, he says)(9/10/02. The lookouts on the tops of many hills in the area are combined with
microwave towers, just like the spires of many churches in the metropolitan area are being rented out to
the phone companies – blots on both the natural world & the spiritual one.) & the collapse of civilization as
we know it. He reckons he tells his wife to always keep a couple of hundred dollars in the house for when
the ATMs close down. He has quite an array of livestock around his house, too, chooks & ducks aplenty for
when the system breaks down. He was a nice bloke who had wanted to be “one of those electronic types”
but had to leave school at 16 to take over the family farm when his father died. He apparently has other
“bits of dirt” around the area as well as the main farm and proudly pointed out a healthy looking currajong
tree on his home paddock which was surviving the drought very well.
Had a coffee/beer & shared a hamburger at the Natimuk pub, the home away from home of lots of
rock-hoppers from interstate & overseas. Even the toilet in the park was designed with climbing in mind,
being made of large stone blocks cemented together so that toe & finger holds were maximized. It felt like
peeing in a cave, and there was never a chance of being trapped in the cubicle – you could have simply
scaled the walls & climbed over the door or out the window. The lookout at the top of Mt. Arapiles gives a
great view 180º over much of the Wimmera – hardly any trees left, compared to Major Mitchell’s sketch
from the same spot, which shows almost continuous cover. The 12 lakes visible are all dry, except for a
thin sheet of water in one. Did a little climb of our own & met 2 climbers from Adelaide (late teens)
practicing on a small face. They were all togged out with bits of equipment, heaps of ropes & special
shoes. It’s a sport which certainly would increase overall fitness & flexibility & presumably concentration &
attention to detail. At the bottom we were heading for one of the official camping areas to spend the night
& spotted a very pretty lane on the opposite side of the road to the campground so chose it instead. It’s
next to a canola field in bloom, & we can see the mountain not far away.
Earlier in the day it occurred to me that I should pass some comments on iraq/US, the axis of
evil, war-on-terror etc. My journal notes on the equivalent trip last year (see 22/9/01-1/10/01)
consisted of my reaction to the events of sept.11. On that occasion too the entries were shared by me
& H. So I thought it might be appropriate to write a postscript a year on. On second thought I cant be
bothered. I had thought that I might reflect on the politics of the day in terms of a quote by Raymond
Gaita that civilization is built on an intricate web of distinctions. The distinctions he is referring to are
of course verbal ones (he is a philosopher) & I cant remember who he was quoting. I agree with the
notion but what I had intended to point out was that the edifice of distinctions rests on a bedrock of
fundamental building blocks which exist prior to & apart from any linguistic justification. It is evident
that we live in a time of realignment of the fundamentals & when these crumble or change entire
edifices of linguistic distinctions will count for nought. One of these changes is that till now technology
(an outgrowth of man who is an outgrowth of the earth) was at the service of man but with
overpopulation & overexploitation (caused by greed) we are becoming so dependent on increasingly
complex technological systems that if we are to survive we are required to become subsidiary to
them. The systems have a logic of their own whose direction we cannot predict. Depending on your
perspective the prospects for the future are exciting or terrifying. I hope I wont be around for the
fallout. Montaigne says somewhere that he cant be bothered with the detailed explanations, that his
37
sentences are more like the titles of pieces for others to write about. Maybe I write like that
sometimes too.
11/11 /02 ( 11/11/02 – 20/11/02 (no. 33)). Hughes Creek Camping Reserve (see
21/9/02 – 3/10/02). If you go along the Hume freeway through Seymour to Avenel & then east
along Tarcombe & Wicket Hill Road you can probably get here in 1½ hours but I took the more
scenic route through Whittlesea, Kinglake West, Flowerdale, Strath Creek (where I had a pot & got a
couple of stubbies for the road), Highlands. There is no indication of the reserve in the Vic Roads
Country Directory but its at about 9.2 x G2 on map 46. Ive parked under the shade of a large old
willow as its quite hot. After a meal of turkish bread washed down with Continental Cup-a-Soup Italian
Minestrone (described as “chunky”) I was overcome by lethargy & lay dozing in the van with the
windows, sliding door & tail gate open licked by warm northerly breezes. The beer & the change of
rhythm from city to country no doubt contribute to the soporific mood. I can hear the trickle of a
rivulet, little more than a drain, nearby. It empties into Hughes Creek flowing over sand & with some
holes deep enough for a dip a couple of hundred yards further along. On a sign 10 or so ks back
Hughes Creek is described as a major tributary of the Goulburn River. I can hear many bird calls
including corellas, magpies & the persistent 2 note chirrup of pardalotes. The main incentive for
coming here, apart from its closeness to Melbourne, was that tonight I was hoping to be lulled to
sleep by the music of pobblebonk frogs (Limnodynastes dumerilii). The male has a one note call like
a watery plonk but each frog has a note of a different pitch. The first call usually triggers two or three
others in quick succession to produce an overall effect that is responsible for the name. It is one of
the most beautiful lullabies I know. The frog is common in still & man made waters all over victoria &
is also known as the banjo frog. However there is a couple camped in several large tents with tables,
chairs, a very large pile of wood, a dog, & surrounded by plastic bags of empties a few hundred yards
from the spot where the frogs are. They look just the types to have powerful lighting, generator &
maybe music late into the night as theyve probably done nothing but sit under the awning of their tent
all day. Im about a kilometer further along & maybe Ill give the frogs a miss. Had I remained in
Melbourne tonight I would have gone to an evening of talks by professors & associate professors of
various scientific disciplines at a lecture theatre in Melbourne uni. It would have been a trip down
memory lane as I did a couple of years of a subject called HPS (History & Philosophy of Science)
there, what feels like a lifetime ago, when various lecturers used to try to explain to me what it was
that scientists do. I suppose they cant have been too upset by my habit of reading the Sporting Globe
during lectures as I seem to remember I got top mark in the subject both years I did it & rejected an
invitation to go on & specialize. Its 5.50 pm & a 4x4 utility has just arrived carrying two trail bikes so
Im leaving …. 6.30 at the beautiful recreation reserve 2ks out of Ruffy (4 or 5 houses) about 18ks
north of Hughes Creek Reserve. The information about the evening at Melb.uni was sent to me by
Pearl Tang (23/3/07. hd nunxpktd ÷ frm brthr Wing (←nOz). Wil kntkt nxt wk.) who is one of the
organizers of the event. One of the talks is a report on a survey of the therapeutic effects of quigong,
another has something to do with falungong, & another is on quantum mathematics & future
computers. Apparently this is one in a series of evenings along the lines already given in Harvard,
Oxford & Cambridge. I sent the flyer accompanying Pearls letter to Wen Liu who is very critical of
falungong as I thought he might be interested. It makes sense to be knowledgeable about the things
you wish to criticize. I dont know in what way if any these lectures are connected with falungong but I
use the opportunity to pass a few observations. I have seen several ‘demonstrations’ that they have
put on around the city & have been extremely impressed both by the serenity in the expressions of
the participants & the grace of their movements, especially when performed by children. In my view it
is enough to justify the practices. Several people I talked to vouched for their beneficial effects. What
confuses me is that the literature they hand out claims it is a movement aimed at simple self
improvement not a religion. Yet their master, Li Hongzhi, says he is personally able to transfer special
qualities (powers) to believers. Such a claim appears to me to be a classic posture of a religious
leader. Perhaps the claim that they are not a religion was a political ploy aimed at allowing them to
exist in china in spite of the governments anti-religious ideology. I have also tried to read the book
Zhuan Falun by Li Hongzhi but had to give up because I couldnt understand it. It may be that my
western upbringing is a barrier. The language seems to be a mixture of obscurantisms (drawing on a
variety of traditions) & pseudo science with the aim of giving a solution to everything in the way that
religions or all embracing ideologies try to do. I hope that the talks at Melb. uni are not an attempt to
give scientific endorsement to the falungong experience. It doesnt need it. Religions traditionally deal
38
with the most basic things which are known directly requiring no support from linguistic edifices, least
of all from science that all embracing church of modern man (or economics). We know directly that
we should be merciful, that the giving of charity is its own reward, that there is that which we honour
& those whom we entrust with authority, that we should protect the weak & give refuge to the lost.
Explanations rest on a bedrock of agreements that we come to accept as self-evident (religious
people like to claim that they are revealed by god or holy men) otherwise we become trapped in an
infinite regress of explanations. It is self evident to me that the serenity & physical grace of falungong
practitioners are worthwhile attributes even if they dont cure illness or promote longevity as they
claim. If I were a wild animal & it was demonstrated to me that my life would be longer in a zoo I
would still choose freedom. In fact I have no idea why people desire a long life. I would much rather
learn how to accept death gracefully than win medals in veterans games. Incidentally, the average life
span in Sierra Leone is 38 for men & 40 for women.
18/11 /02. An illustration of how the van amplifies was that one of the first sounds I
heard before sunrise was the pattering of flies against the panels. They were on the outside as I had
sprayed the interior before going to bed. I forgot to mention yesterday that the friend, Warren
Willman, I had met Adam with at Green Cape (see The Hat) has also recently got married, to a
german girl. Another thing. Adam was suggesting I go & see how the forest is being destroyed in the
district by the timber industry. He says that the allocations granted by the government are so large
that the local industry doesnt come near to using them up though it is working flat out so the work is
being contracted out as far away as Orbost. He says that the devastation taking place out of view of
the main roads is of third world proportions & fears that the proposed cessation of logging in the
Otways will only increase it here. He says that even the locals, traditional supporters of the interests
of the timber industry are beginning to turn against it. He should know being a forest worker. The
forest where I am incidentally is as dry as Ive known it. Id hate to see it set alight. All it takes is a
lightning strike. I wouldnt be comfortable parked here on a day of northerly wind with nothing between
me & the highway to the north (fires often start next to them) except 10 or 12ks of tinder dry gum
trees. Im going to leave anyway because there is no shade for the van & its warming up already
(7am). I had thought to spend a few days doing beach walks but I might head back to the hills for
cooler weather. This access spot is at the western tip of Ewings Marsh & I once heard here the most
magnificent & deafening frog symphony of my life being performed by hundreds (& maybe
thousands) of frogs of 5 or 6 varieties (including pobblebonks) so that the whole was waxing &
waning from a sine wave effect. There is no water at all under the two footwalks to the dune & the
bottom of the depression at the very end has been recently cut up by trail bikes. When I inspected the
beach at dusk all I could see were trail bike tyre marks in both directions. In order to survive some
frogs probably dig themselves into the black dirt of the bottom as the water recedes & last night there
were a few forlorn cricket-like creek-creeks coming from there, a few having evidently survived the
ravages of the motorbikes. I imagine that the snakes which depend heavily on them for food must be
in serious trouble. & summer hasnt officially started yet …. Im only 10 or so ks down the coast (1.00)
(23/3/07. ystrdae & juezdae mi&Vaidas wer ~n thr. Kort heepsv fl@hed & skipjak). The van is
parked in 100% shade under an old cypress, one of a row, about 200 yards past where Lake Tyers
House used to be (opposite side of the lake to the Lake Tyers township). The water level in the lake
(23/3/07. z↑ now koz thntrns zblokt (8/7/07. butt hz broeknowt →2 th zrrzultov thfludz lrst wek 4
th1
st
ny··)) is so low I was able to walk straight to the surf coast at the entrance to the lake. In the
past Ive always had to go around the now dry swamp. & I was able to get in a stroll, stark naked (cop
that, honey) going east (towards Petmans) along a coast without footprints or tyre marks. I was taking
frequent dips coz I was sweating like a pig. Tried to sneak up on a seal asleep on the sand but a pair
of pied oystercatchers (Haematopus ostralegus) made it wake up with their alarmed chatter & then
though I was standing still about 20 yards behind out of its line of view it got a whiff of me on the
breeze & spotted me & took to the waves. As I was walking along I was thinking, honey, that you
might be mistaken about that theory of yours that you gratuitously interpolated (& other trenchant
observations) into one of my previous pieces that it was the pope (even though theyd know a hell of a
lot about it) that is responsible for the belief that wankers go blind. Here is a quote from Montaigne
(from Apology for Raymond Sebond) where he is summarizing theories about where sperm
(known as spunk when I was a kid, a word that has been debased through overuse so that now it is
frequently heard in the mouths of maidens whod blush at a fart (When Metrocles had secluded
himself in shame after having farted loudly during a debate in his school the philosopher Crates
39
(23/11/02. This the entry on him from the Penguin Dictionary of Philosophy: Crates (c 365 – 285
BC) Cynic philosopher, whose quest for independence and self sufficiency made him renounce his
large fortune and restrict himself to a frugal way of life. Together with his wife Hipparchia he led the
life of an itinerant philosophical sage and counsellor.) counselled him successfully by engaging him in
a farting competition.)) originates: “Pythagoras says that our seed is the foam of our best blood.
Plato, the flow from the marrow of the backbone, which he argues from the fact that this spot first
feels the fatigue of the business. Alcmaeon, a part of the substance of the brain; and a sign that this
is so, he says, is that the eyes grow dim in those who work immoderately at this exercise.
Democritus, a substance extracted from the whole mass of the body; Epicurus, extracted from the
soul and the body. Aristotle, an excrement derived from the nourishment of the blood, the last that
spreads through our members. Others, blood cooked and digested by the heat of the genitals, which
they judge from the fact that in the extreme efforts men give out drops of pure blood …” Note, honey,
the reasoning of Alcmaeon, an ancient philosopher from Croton, of whom I hadnt previously heard
but who I imagine predates the popes. Not that I agree with him & I wonder what conclusion he would
have drawn from the common knowledge of every kid in St Pats College (jesuit school in East Melb
no longer in existence) that the only thing that happens (& then not always) is that you get hairy
palms. My readers overseas (who can be counted on one hand) may be interested to know that in
the australian language (lingo, parlance, strine) Platos condition is known as shearers back or
shaggers back (22/3/07. ¤v gott. M kspr··tn wth dfrnt pzshnz (8/7/07. Journal ♪♫ Italy
20/4/07)) …. Went for a stroll along the lake northwards to take advantage of the low water. Nothing
to report except that I had a dip. A sea breeze has set in & its clouded over & no longer too warm.
Teatime.
(13/3/07. Completion of Mondays from folder 3. (nos. 27 – 33 of anthology))
24/2 /03 ( February 24 (no. 34)).
They that go down to the sea in ships,
and do business in great waters;
These see the works of the Lord,
and his wonders in the deep.
(Psalm 107, 23-24)
The same might b said of snorkeling. I put the quote in yesterday evening (Ben, Kate, Joe & Kerry
had left after the BBQ) in anticipation of leaving this morning on a trip I do each year where I
concentrate on looking in2 water. The van is packed & I have a new pair of goggles. The idea was 2
head west perhaps ultimately 2 the Eyre Peninsula via the stretch of coast in the most southerly part
of SA between Port MacDonald & Kingston where I havent been b4 other than 4 a brief visit to
Beachport. Except Im too tired (25/2/03. when I was told tears welled up but I was overcome by
emotional exhaustion & didnt have enough energy 2 cry) having been unable 2 sleep till just b4
dawn. Tonight Ill take a valium instead of relying solely on alcohol as Ive been doing over the last
week (since the note left under the door in Ivanhoe by the Prahran police in4ming us that Dan was in
hospital in Paris but OK) while weve been trying 2 sort out what is happening & how 2 get him home.
H is the one who has been doing all the telefoning, e-mailing (Canberra, Embassy in Paris (who
visited him in hospital & organized a cheap hotel room @ 60 euros/night since his discharge), the
hotel hes @, the modelling agency in Paris, his agency here, etc,). She has bought him a ticket on a
Qantas flight 2 Perth & then Melbourne that he is supposed 2 (& said he will though he suggested
she send more funds so he could go via south africa) pick up @ the british airways counter @ the
airport tuesday morning (Paris time). Tomorrow she is seeing Doig 2 get time off work because she is
unsafe 2 drive. In an article on Brigitte Muir (1
st
aussie woman 2 climb Everest) in this mornings Age
there is a quote from Stendhal that is said 2 have been an inspiration 2 her. It goes: “we must live our
dreams, not dream our life.” It seems that Dans dreams are crashing down – and with them perhaps
him also judging by the wording of a couple of his e-mails. We dont know if he can be relied on 2
catch the flight though the emergency consular service in Canberra has reassured H when she rang
just now that they will in4m the Paris embassy of our concerns & they might b able 2 accompany him
2 the airport. Despite my alcohol induced sleep Ive been waking up @ nights with the image of
40
bowling pins being scattered by a huge ball sent down by the hand of an unknown player. The image
is current with me from the film Bowling For Columbine that I saw a few weeks ago. But it has
assumed a new meaning – the bowling pins are my kids getting knocked down one after the other, &
sometimes, if they get up, more than once. When H @ 17 finished Heidelberg High as head prefect &
dux of school trying 2 decide which scholarship 2 take up 2 Melbourne Uni she could never have
predicted that she would spend the better part of a lifetime picking up the pieces of various members
of the family starting with me, following the collapse of their lives. Hopefully it is not that serious with
Dan. Yesterday Kate brought Lev Shestov s In Job’s Balances which she took out on loan from
the Baillieu library 4 me 2 take on the trip. By way of preparation I am rereading The Book of Job in
the bible. Seems appropriate.
*
41
Because of the availability of a typist (H has already done the bit before the asterisk) & because we
both are preferring 2 stay occupied (she has not gone 2 a 2 day conference in Geelong as planned) I
might as well give an impression of the month Ive spent in Melbourne since we returned from a trip
along the south coast of NSW. In my wanderings through the city I chanced 2 talk 2 the guy who
plays the dulcimer with pencil size metal rods. He was on the corner of Bourke & Swanson st. outside
Readers Feast bookshop where I am more used 2 seeing the short fat busker with the home made
drum kit. I had mentioned in the last piece I put out (see 11/11/02 – 20/11/02. p3) that after an attack
of bad conscience I had taken 2 tipping the drummer. Apparently the spot is in demand. I asked what
had happened 2 him & was told that its a case of first one there gets it. The drummer had come too
late that same morning. It transpires that they dont get on with each other & their enmity continues in
Tokyo where they also see each other. I am reconsidering who I tip (8/7/07. 2mutch thort rzults nmi
nottpn @orl & ¤ ♪d wth shaem wnw →2 thfooti ystrdae th@ Joe hooz nboodst & por givzwae ♂z
smorl chaenj (10/7/07. m¤ndue ¤ woz 4n ♂z ~t →2 thfooti)) but its not going 2 b the black Elvis
(@ Vic. Market in the red suit but who also doubles as an aboriginal in a loin cloth playing the
didgeridoo) who incidentally is in his 50s and hails from Hervey Bay in Qld. He recently married a
cool young chick with whom he honeymooned in Hawaii. Ill leave the tipping 2 the tourists in future &
concentrate on me kids. Another thing thats happened is the death of Vic Fleming whom I last met @
Brian Maclures 60
th
(see 13/2/01 – 26/2/01. p1).(Inserted in original: “Thursday 30/1/03. Caught up
with Frank Lovece for lunch at Stalactytes. Talked to various people at the library and learnt that the
funeral of Vic Fleming (former library attendant, orphan, alcoholic) took place today. He was 73
apparently. ¶ Fleming. – The funeral service for Mr Victor Fleming will be held at the Herbert King
Memorial Chapel, 174 Lennox St, Richmond, TOMORROW (Thursday, Jan. 30) commencing at 10
a.m. ¶ Private Burial ¶ HERBERT KING & SONS ¶ HERBERT & GRAEME KING ¶ FAMILY OWNED
SINCE 1853 ¶ RICHMOND 9428 1244. ¶ Alec said do you reckon he went to heaven? The
alcoholics heaven I joked. But seriously: he grew up in an orphanage, had no relatives at his death,
was a lifelong alcoholic & spent it working as an attendant & still retained his dignity. Is that enough
to earn him a place in heaven? ¶ Friday 31/1/03. Stayed home in Ivanhoe to let in the plumber for the
leaking taps. He replaced a couple of the old style ones and also the new kitchen sink one at a total
cost of nearly $300. Im reading about the early ascetics (Christian) “Journey to the Inner Mountain”
and getting bored with it. It’s a bit of pop religion but Ill probably persevere to finish it off. Am feeling
very lethargic & inclined to doze on the couch. Cant even be bothered watering the garden but I
suppose Ill have to pull me finger out. First Ill go to the PO to collect the weeks mail. Got Leonie
Osowskis essay on Mores ‘Utopia’ which I had asked her to send when I met them after seeing
‘Bowling for Columbine’. In the ‘Inner Mountain’ Cowan quotes from an anchorite, Abdisho’
Hazzaya…”) It seems Alec Drummond has an interest (perhaps knowledge?) in matters pertaining 2
heaven & hell as he once suggested 2 me that Frank Lovece might be heading down under. This was
@ a time when Frank was worrying us by talking in a way that indicated he was having premonitions
of death. I assured Alec that a guy of Franks charm was sure 2 get past the heavenly gate keeper.
Last tuesday @ the Make It Up Club I reminded Alec of his question about whether Vic (25/2/03. who
had lived alone in shabby hotel rooms without the benefit of a womans warmth; who never allowed
himself 2 b led by the nose either by management or union; who didnt whinge about his lot like most
of the attendants did; who feared going deaf more than anything else & already had started 2; whose
burial service was conducted by a minister who knew nothing about him; who was honest) had made
it up there & Alec claimed that what he had actually said was: “we will meet him in hell”. Memory! I
suppose its worth reporting that I took in the peace demo on friday 14
th
. I go more as an observer
than participator as I find it impossible 2 forgo my identity in a mass movement. The waving of
placards & 4ming of crowds seems 2 me 2 b part of the problem. I am frightened of the potential we
have 4 throwing away our minds. The speeches consisted (appropriately) of cliches & slogans. I have
gone 2 2 earlier marches. In the first one I asked a guy holding up one end of a very large placard
that read JEWS FOR A JUST PEACE what qualification was being implied by the word JUST i.e. why
not simply say FOR PEACE as was the case on another placard reading SHALOM. I am particularly
interested in the attitude of jews because the way moderate arab opinion will judge us will b by our
response to the israel/palestinian conflict (25/2/03. in which the burden of injustices has been and is
overwhelmingly borne by the palestinians. We ignore it at our peril but I suspect the US has already
made the decision 2 hold the arab world in colonial status (disguised) indefinitely. No arab state will
ever b allowed, even if they become exemplary democracies, 2 have weapons of mass destruction of
the kind routinely possessed by the large states or 4 that matter israel.) I didnt get a coherent answer
42
till a week or so later when George Bush made a speech in which he said america was ready 2 go 2
war 2 ensure a just peace. Then I saw someone from another organisation (international labour or
something) with a placard also demanding a just peace & when I asked him the same question,
explaining that I was a traditional, simple minded, impractical, naïve, garden variety pacifist who was
against any war (the quakers had a placard AGAINST ALL WARS) he told me I was a dupe of the
establishment. It turned out that he was only against a possible war on iraq but was very much in
favour of one on the US of A. The most numerous placard I saw said NO WAR FOR OIL. How can
people believe this is about oil? One day in Little Bourke st. I asked a couple of mormons what was
the attitude of their religion 2 the prospects of a US attack on iraq. At first they looked astonished as if
I had asked the most unexpectedly weird question but after some deliberation one of them said there
was a statement by their founder Brigham Young that said you always had 2 obey the laws of the
country. I didnt ask, but should have, what attitude they took 2 capital punishment in the situation of 2
adjoining states in the US where one practiced it but the other didnt. In the big demo on the 14
th
I
talked 2 a girl who had a cardboard sign attached 2 her bicycle which simply listed recent wars
without commentary. I was saying 2 her that my attitude when threatened was 2 run away as grazing
animals do from predators (turning the other cheek seems a bit much). But she was bothered by the
example of Hitler. Are there extreme situations that justify war? But in Hitlers case by the time he was
going 2 b challenged it was already too late. His capacity 2 recruit the silent majority (or at least
intimidate it) came from the humiliation all germans felt at the imposition on them of unjust
reparations after what had been a crazy politicians war where no one had held the high moral
ground. The only thing that might have prevented the rise of Hitler was fair behaviour by the
victorious allies at the end of the 1
st
war & there was never going 2 b a chance of that. There might be
a lesson in there somewhere for this one.
*
(Inserted in original: “Miller St. Said Id call at the ‘Birds’ gallery tomorrow @ 2pm to see
Brigita’s (Vaido wife) song collection. Rang H just now (8.30pm) & everything is OK there. She talked
to Joe on the mobile who is at Rye for a week with his girlfriend. Joe said Ben (22/3/07. Bortn Nissan
Navara ystrdae @th Altona ÷ Auctions 4 $1800) is fine. She dropped some food off at Bens and
confirms what Joe had said. Tony was there. I finished Austerlitz in the morning & the very end of it
is about the forts that were built around Kaunas & how 30,000 jews were killed in the 9
th
fort (there
were 12 originally, built by the Russians at the end of the 19
th
cent) and when I told Vaidas (who it
turns out, like me, was born in Kaunas), he told me that he had worked on the commemorative
monument that was built there by the soviets. Now Ive started reading Vertigo by W.G. Sebald
and on the front cover there is a comment on it by Paul Auster who himself has written a book
called Vertigo.¶ Monday 10/2/03. Read paper at the Errol ¬ (rode) Carlyle st to buy dark bread
(naroch, riga) & 3 kinds of savoury sausage at the deli ¬ Victoria st for lunch of cod, vegie & rice
($8) at the Ming II ¬ ‘Birds gal’…). Sunday the 9
th
of feb. was a day 4 small ‘coincidences’ (6/3/07.
lrst week SA&NrIuGeA 4 ♂ woz goen 2bn Vienna nnprtklr dae @th ndv juen & tsoe hapns mi & H
wlb thr thsaem dae (10/7/07. ddnt ♂m) thoe wrn Vienna oenli 4 3daez vr trip. Thn ♂ sed dd ue noe
Danius K zpr4mn nth Venice Biennale (zprtv thkraut kntnjnt (10/7/07. twoz wot SA&NrIuGeA hd 4 mi
but twoz 4 th oepnnv cMaOlRlTuOmNz (1v th3 rtsts rprzntn OZ) nstrlaeshn. ( Journal ♪♫ Italy
6/6/07)) nth1st week vjuen & ¤ sed wr nVenice orl th@ week 2). I find these kind of days slightly
destabilizing but energizing though in extreme cases they can b scary (see 7/9/00 – 16/9/00). Lev
Shestov would say that science/mathematics gets around the problem by ignoring it, assigning it 2
the realm of the inexplicable & hence the non-existent. Frank L. says that the lady working @
Collected Works bookshop in Flinders st. reckons you can experience too many ‘coincidences’ & if
you let yourself go down that path you get into dangerous waters. Best 2 avoid it. Ive noticed that
when some young people report it the next thing you hear is that they have had a breakdown. H says
she doesnt have the kind of unexplained & unlikely juxtaposition of events that happen 2 me,
accounts of which she types up. About november last year I had a drink with Jock (Kates x) outside
his workshop in Footscray. It was the only time I had seen him in 18 months & in the evening as me &
H sat in the window of the Bocadillo bar a beautiful girl engaged us in animated conversation & then it
dawned on me (I had drunk a few sangrias) that it was his sister Liz whom I also hadnt seen for 18
months & had only met about 3 times altogether. I said this is amazing, I had a drink with Jock only
hours ago but she reckoned she takes that kind of thing 4 granted. The writer Paul Auster has
many examples of the kind in a collection of short stories called American Tales. It seems that in
43
some asian cultures unlikely events are accepted as signs of significance which is how I tend 2 react
2 them too. I wonder if in my case they occur because I am an eccentric who travels around in an
irregular unpredictable way whereas most people are subject 2 routine & habit, in ways of thinking
too? Is it possible that when people subject themselves 2 medication 2 douse mind spin the reason
they no longer have these experiences is not so much that they dont notice them but because they
become physically inactive & spatially confined (& trapped by habits & depression & lack of
spontaneity) so that opportunities 4 them 2 occur are eliminated? Or is it that these events occur in
everyones lives but only some of us notice while the rest draw a screen 2 prevent themselves
experiencing what they are not going 2 understand? (Frank L suggests that we all know everything
but prevent ourselves from seeing.) Anyway, on sunday 9
th
I finished reading W.G. Sebalds book
Austerlitz just before I was heading off 2 lunch @ litho house in Errol st. North Melb. which I dont
often do & as it happened (I read it because I had earlier read a book of his called The Emigrants,
an outstanding read recommended 2 me by Peter Murphy (6/3/07. kumn2thfoolzBBQnaeprl1st)) for
no obvious reason the very last page of it was about the 12 forts that had been built around Kaunas
(2
nd
city of lithuania) @ the end of the 19
th
century by the czarist russians & which proved totally
useless during their only test in the war of 1914. Most of the forts fell in2 disrepair but some were
used as prisons & the most infamous, the 9
th
, became a command post 4 the wermacht during the 2
nd
war. 30000 people were murdered there with the aid of lithuanian police auxiliaries under the
command of german officers. Most of the victims were jews transported from all over europe or
drawn from the Kaunas ghetto. Their bones fertilize the oat pastures a little way outside the walls. In
the middle of the afternoon I took a cold beer 2 Vaidas who sells small ceramic bells & mobiles that
he makes from a stall outside the cultural centre in St Kilda rd (meanwhile his wife Brigitta has a stall
@ the St Kilda market; they have a gallery in High St. Kew near the junction) and we arranged 2
meet 4 a drink @ Time Out café in Federation Square after he packed up @ 3.30. It was a fluke that
as he approached the table where I was already seated I was reading Sebalds Vertigo which has a
promo on the front cover by Paul Auster who describes him as “One of the most original voices to
have come from Europe in recent years.” Now there is a hidden commentary here on those very
convergences Ive been talking about (4 the cognoscenti at least) because Paul Auster has written a
book called Mr Vertigo. It was published in 94 while Sebalds Vertigo was published in 90 but since
it was in german (not translated in2 english till 99) I imagine Auster didnt know of it when his own
book came out. Whats more both authors have written at length about their jewish ancestors & both
often write about strange coincidences. For Paul Auster its his main theme. So these were my
thoughts when Vaidas (who has been here 5 years) ordered the drinks. I said, you know, its a bit
strange talking 2 you here when both of us were born in lithuania on the very opposite side of the
world & earlier today I had lunch @ litho house & just b4 that 4 no reason I could have predicted the
book I read finished with some comments on the forts surrounding Kaunas. Then Vaidas said he was
born in Kaunas & I said I was too. I explained 2 him how I had a particular interest in the events @
the 9
th
fort & had discussed & written about them @ length & he told me that there was a museum &
a memorial there 4 those who had perished, which I knew of course. (25/2/03. he also told me how
he corresponds with a long term friend of his who migrated 2 israel 8 years ago & who used 2 b a
pacifist (6/3/07. teechz nglsh nnmltri kolj) but now talks about arabs as if they are subhuman & how
they breed like rabbits etc. etc. (22/3/07. &howmuzlmzwiloevrunueropa)) Then he said that he had
been one of the 50 or 60 artists who had worked on the memorial (a huge structure in the style of
soviet gigantism popular @ the time). It was a well paid job & he worked on it 4 2 years. I think W.G.
Sebald who is always interested in architectural history & detail would have liked 2 hear what Vaidas
had 2 say. The designer of the monument had made a plaster model of it more than head high which
was sawn in2 small blocks each of only a few centimeters by a few centimeters & Vaidas job had
been 2 enlarge some of these in2 full scale models (ie meters high) of clay over a skeletal frame
which had concrete poured over them 2 make moulds which in turn had concrete poured in2 them in
the making of the final structure. Over the 2 years he was responsible 4 making ½ doz of the clay
models. I barely know Vaidas & Brigitta & had invited them 2 yesterdays BBQ which as it turned out
they werent able 2 come 2. I mentioned 2 the kids that a couple I had recently met might turn up &
that they were interesting people leading an independent life by making beautiful things that they sell
themselves 2 people who wanted 2 buy them. & I said the bloke had been a conscript in the soviet
army & no doubt had interesting stories 2 tell. Ben said that would be Vaidas & Brigitta & that he had
met them @ the Kaspariunas place. I keep saying it – small world!
44
*
Its 10pm and Dan has just rung (reverse charge) from the airport, almost 24 hours ahead of his flight.
He sounds OK but only has 2 euros 2 his name. 10.30 rang again & this time he was rambling on.
Rang again at midnight so H told him shed b leaving the phone off the hook till 8.30 am when she
would b able 2 put some money in2 his account. He is not well.
3/3/03. Im quoting from a treatize titled The Book of Questions and Answers by
Abdisho’ Hazzaya who probably died around 690 AD in the monastery of Maragna between the
Tigris & Euphrates in central iraq (as quoted by James Cowan in Journey to the Inner
Mountain, a book I dont recommend as its characterized by vague language & religious cliches).
“The heart of the man will be filled with the holy light of the vision of this theory (practice) to such an
extent that the mind will not even perceive and distinguish itself, because all the faculties of its
spiritual nature will at that time become absorbed in it. There will neither be thought or anything, nor
any consciousness and remembrance, nor any impulse or inward movements, but only ecstasy in
God and an ineffable rapture. Blessed is the man who has been found worthy of this gift, the
workings of which cannot be expressed with corporeal tongue. Indeed, there will then be made
manifest mysteries and revelations, which only a mind can receive spiritually from a mind, because
having no power over them a corporeal tongue is not able to express them.”
&
“We say that we see light in the sphere of spirituality, but this light is not a material light. We say also
that we have there a spiritual food, but that food is not like the one we have here; we say further that
our mind will perceive there the sound of glorification of the spiritual hosts, and it will there have
speech and conversation, but that speech does not resemble the one we hold with one another. The
sound that is heard there by our mind is so fine that our senses are not able to receive it, and the
corporeal tongue is not able to utter and describe that which is made manifest there by the mind,
whether it be made through our sense of vision or through that of hearing.”
&
“It is this gradual ascent that raises you up and makes you participate in the holy light of the vision of
Christ. From this glorious and holy vision you will fall into ecstasy over the broad world, the benefits
of which are ineffable. From this ecstasy you will derive a flow of spiritual speech and knowledge of
both worlds: of the one that has passed and the one that shall pass, and also a consciousness of
future things, together with a holy smell and taste; the fine sounds of spiritual intelligence (angels):
joy, jubilation, exultation, glorification, songs, hymns and odes of magnification; communion with the
spiritual hierarchies; sight of Paradise; eating from its tree of life …”
I have quoted from Abdisho’ Hazzaya (an anchorite of the eastern branch of the christian church)
at length bcause I have been visited by similar xperiences though I have not sought them through
ascetic practice or been nclined 2 xplain them in religious terms. I bring it up here bcause it was
pointed out 2 me (by Frank L) that my analysis of language undermines belief in the spiritual & in the
afterlife which so many dpend on. But I have 2 write about things as I know them. If jesus of nazareth
says whatsoever you shall ask in my name you shall receive or if he says if you ask 4 a fish shall you
b given a snake I am capable of accepting (blieve, take on faith) his claims, however unlikely, bcause
I at least understand what I am being asked 2 do. But when I am asked 2 blieve in life after death it
would b an mpty gesture 2 accept what is unintelligible. There is already enough mpty babble in the
world without me adding 2 it (10/7/07. th@wozthn). Having made those qualifications I am able 2
testify that the xperiences I have had have made me careless of death – it has lost its dominion. I
recognize that bcause each of us has something unique (not reachable by anyone) & bcause our
xperience (& histories) differ what is true 4 me may not b 4 others. However the xperiences Im
speaking of were so overwhelming that I cant imagine that others (6/3/07. Dostoevskis dskrpshn v♂z
ksp·insv plpsi: “For several instants I experience a happiness that is impossible in an
ordinary state, and of which other people have no conception. I feel full of harmony in
myself and in the whole world, and the feeling is so strong and sweet that for a few
seconds of such bliss one could give up ten years of life, perhaps all of life. ¶ I felt that
heaven descended to earth and swallowed me. I really attained god and was imbued
with him. All of you healthy people don’t even suspect what happiness is, that happiness
we epileptics experience for a second before an attack.” (9/3/07. to say that an experience is
biologically based ( In Search of Memory x Eric R. Kandel © 2006) does not tell us anything
45
about its quality or value unless we also accept the possibility of some experiences not being
grounded in biology – a notion which would be preposterous were it not incomprehensible)) wouldnt
b equally changed. Whichever way, I give an account if only 2 hold a mirror 2 those who have
glimpsed some of what I have seen.
17/3 /03 ( March 11 (no. 35)). 1pm. After breakfast @ sunrise I went back 2 Peake Bay
bcause I wanted 2 spend more time walking along still, translucent water so unlike what Im used 2
along the east coast. I woz hoping some of those qualities rub off on me. 1
st
I investigated some
granite outcrops about 1 k west from where I am parked just round a sandhill from the group of
shacks (there r 4 of them ). I again got further out than I had intended & when I got surrounded by a
school of about 100 rather bold black & white striped fish of about 25 cm length each which I cant find
in my ID book I thought of sharks & headed 4 shore. I woz mainly interested in the visual landscape
which is the opposite 2 what I see in the crevassy & cavernous kind of places I normally favour where
I see many kinds of fish of all sizes. Later as I continued west I took frequent dips 4 the underwater
view. As u walk along the shore looking out 2 sea byond an initial 20 or so m strip of aquamarine the
water is mottled with inky dark patches that indicate where the bottom is covered by sea grasses.
There r 3 main varieties along the stretch but the most common & densest 1 has tufts of purplish
leaves. Bcoz the water is so clear, as transparent as any Ive seen in an ocean (I woz never out of
view of the bottom), the intervening 20 or so ms looks as if its only a foot or 2 deep but by the time u
reach the grasses its well over head high. I woz loathe 2 go out too far in the tempting
weightlessness: aware of my aptitude 4 coincidence I didnt want 2 coincide with a shark & I dont
want 2 tempt fate. I woz taking regular dips on the way back even though chilled internally bcoz the
sun is very sharp 2day. The spot where the van is parked overlooking the bay from a slight rise would
b an xellent place 2 spend the night bcoz it would b good 4 a swim in the dark 2 check 4 underwater
phosphorescence. Im about 2 clean the goggles with Colgate (tartar control – its got 2 b that)
toothpaste coz I have a very bad problem, which no 1 seems 2 b able 2 adequately diagnose, with
them fogging up…. The great white shark also known as the white pointer (Carcharodon carcharias
(Linnaeus, 1758)) is dscribed in my book as the most feared animal in the sea bcoz of its many
attacks on humans. Its also by far the largest of the maneaters the australian record being 1208.38
kgs as compared 2 the heaviest recorded tiger shark, the next largest, @ 645.01 kgs. It also beats
the tiger 4 edibility scoring 3 out of 5 stars against 2 4 the tiger…. Im dawdling the way old men do
finding 1 xcuse after another 2 hang around the car. After cleaning the goggles I dcided 2 heat up a
cup of soup & then went 4 a snorkel 2 test them out while it was cooling. They still fog up. Checked
the fish book 4 the shark info. Later I went back 2 the spot I was @ yesterday 2 have a final look @
the forest of razor fish (like miniature Stonehenges) & the tasty scallops. (I know what youre thinking,
honey, & I did promise 2 b careful of sharks but it occurred 2 me that if that old lady & her family or
any of her fishing pals had ever actually spotted 1 when they were on watch (often in deeper water &
remember these r deep water animals) she would certainly have told me & with mbellishments). I
dont want 2 leave Peake Bay (u can just discern Port Lincoln (whose lord mayor said last year of the
refugees that they should b left 2 drown or told 2 swim back where they came from) in the distant
south) without that view fixed in my memory. I had 2 swim out further bcause the tide was in. Saw a
very elegant, tiny jellyfish that was about the size of a matchbox but trailed a perfect 4some of
tentacles 4 feet bhind it. Tried 2 pick up a blue swimmer crab (23/3/03. bag limit 40/person; razor fish
50; scallops 100) but it wouldnt let me by arching backwards & threatening me with its claws. The
distance btween its outstretched arms was well over a foot. There must b a commercial industry in
them as I see them 4 sale in a shop (23/3/03. A guy I met in the pub in Port Germein on the way
back, Steve Beames, says he knows 8 licensees. They use million $ boats & its like a license 2 print
money, theyre not 4 sale. He also told me that the best way 2 eat razor fish is raw.) that specializes in
seafoods such as crabs & cockles in the vietnamese section of Victoria street. Seeing the kind of
surroundings the scallops r in made me realize what a crime it is 2 fish 4 them by dragging huge
metal scrapers along the sea bed the way the commercial industry in victoria does. We plough up an
ntire ecosystem 2 satisfy our yuppie stomachs. Hope it never happens here but I wouldnt bet on it. If I
woz the king of aussieland Id ban commercial scallop fishing, commercial prawning (they kill tons &
tons of other things 4 every ton of prawns they bring back) & rice & cotton farming (its supposed 2 b
the dry continent). Have dcided 2 stay here. The fishermen have loaded their boats & left & the 4
shacks (2 have what look like tv aerials) r mpty. 2night 2 doz or so pacific gulls, ½ doz seagulls, a
46
pelican, & me have the place 2 ourselves. In a moment Ill go 4 a dip in the nuddy then boil up a cup
of coffee. (6.00)
14/4 /03 ( 12/4/03 – 24/4/03 (no. 36)). (Yackandandah pub 2.35) If we accept
the proposition that in every1 of us there is a component that is unique &
irreducible (if it proves useful 4 discussing human affairs over time people will
think of it as an aspect of character, almost tangible, mayb located in a
particular place (eg. the brain) as has happened with such words as ego, id, the
subconscious, soul (etc)) then let us also accept the likelihood that we perceive
the world differently (2 me its obvious from the differences in peoples
appearances (as r the similarities btween them which r more fundamental &
mportant eg. we all have 2 legs, 2 arms, 1 nose, 1 head) & I suggest that when
Oscar Wilde says “ It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances” he
is saying much the same as Goethe is when he says “Do not, I beg you, look for
anything behind phenomena. They are themselves their own lesson.”) – a testable
consequence (science overcomes the problem by agreeing on dfinitions, &
adoption of hard & fast conventions of usage & measurement). It is evident 2 me
that our children nterpret the xample set by their parents through their own
ndividual prisms. What suits 1 in a parents xample may b dtrimental 2 a sibling.
The mportant thing is 2 underst& that it is only they who r capable of knowing
which aspect of our xample is relevant 2 them. When parents dish out verbal
advice it is bcoz they blieve it is they that know better. Bcoz my dad offered
advice so rarely (always practical such as marry some1 who can cook) I think I
remember everything he ever said & time proved him 2 have bn mistaken on every
occasion. (26/4/03. I can cook! It’s just that I don’t do it very often, so I lack practice.) The heated
dsagreements I had now & again with my mum were also confirmed by the
passage of time. Yet the love of nature which is my legacy from my father & the
literary habit I nherit from my mums xample have been married in me in a way I
consider 2 b ssential. I regret that my own xample is probably of no value 2 my
kids (but only they can judge). I lead a life that is far removed from the normative
centre & though there is no 1 that I have seen in whose shoes Id prefer 2 b than
in my own I would not wish my nxieties & nstabilities on any1. Self assessment is
probably a waste of time: we have 2 much of a vested nterest in the process 2 b
able 2 see ourselves as others do, but I continue on. The most consistent trait I
am able 2 dtect in myself is a lifelong habit of dm&ing that authority provide
proof of its credentials & then of rejecting them. As I sit here writing I am unable
2 recall a single nstance of having mbarked on a course of action in response 2
advice (with the xeption of the teachings of the nazarene). Since my kneejerk
reaction is 2 reject authority (please note, Lance) I feel on further reflection that
I am dsqualified from offering advice. Was woken up about 10pm last night by John rummaging
about under my bed, clunking boxes and scraping things – he was retrieving his headlamp & the shovel so
he could see to some serious business. He also put the overhead light on. Just as he was about to venture
out it bucketed down, so he waited a bit longer till it eased off and opened the door once more, the signal
for it to pour even harder. So he said “Well, in situations like this there are just no options, so I’ll have to sit
here and …” at which point I had the horrible thought that he was going to do the deed in the van! But he
finished by saying “…write till it stops”. Phew! After a while he did make it out into the night and came
back well rained on. There was a lot of thunder and lightning about and the stream was gurgling louder
this morning. Went to Beechworth along as many minor roads as possible, coming across the old Everton
Station which is now a stopping point for bicyclists using the Wangaratta – Beechworth ex-railway line,
now a well finished bike path. Read the paper over coffee at the Beechworth Bakery amid a constant
turnover of travellers. They use a gadget which flashes, vibrates or beeps to let you know when your order
47
is ready – very high tech. I suppose its genteeler than giving you half a raffle ticket and screeching your
number above the din like they used to do in pubs for counter lunches in the good old days. However this
new fangled method can be confused with mobile phone rings and the noise trucks make when they
reverse. Bought two Nepalese hand made note books at the Gem & Opal shop (I’d bought some there on
the first trip we did in this area a couple of years ago), where they have some great fossils & heaps of
terrific gemstones. Then off to Yackandandah for John’s entry, done in the lounge of the pub over beers
(him) & squash (me). Now we’ve had dinner and will sleep in a high spot in a state forest. There’s an army
group bivouacking below us, so we’re safe from terrorists and WMDs. Rang Dan this morn-ing at
Beechworth to ask him to let the Kabailas know we are on the road and won’t be back till just before term
starts. He said there was 20ml. in the rain gauge and that he was doing a Levi jeans TV ad. shoot at 3pm
(29/4/03. Apparently its already on telly during the Big Brother show on channel
10. No chance of me seeing it as Ive not even seen an episode of a soapy let
alone a show like that). No sign of Sandra’s baby yet.
21/4 /03. Easter has @ times bn a period of strain 4 me. The story of christ,
the way history remembers it, my personal narrative, the story of the family I
grew up in bcome a tangle that I try 2 unscramble. My habit has bn 2 rsolve these
agitations over a number of days with a meditation on memory. Its uses & abuses.
How selective it is. How the past is always @ the service of the present. How we
use it 2 construct a self & how if some1 asks u who u r everything u say when u
say I am this, & this, & this is my flag, & here is the house I live in, & the children
I sired even as u utter the words all of it is already in the past. We label ourselves
2 fix ourselves 2 a spot & as we do so we have already moved on. & the present
moment is huge & it swirls threatening 2 rush in like a torrent through a hatch
that has bn breached in a submarine. People clamour 4 an audience, 2 b heard, 2
b loved, 2 b saved (John Berger says that Simone Weil says that the destitute only
ask that they b seen in a particular way, acknowledged, recognized as instuments
of destinys purpose. But in practice she joined them & died as a result). & if we
didnt block our ears & shut our eyes the tumult would burst in & prhaps utterly
destroy us; scatter us in2 oblivion. & if we manage 2 protect ourselves from being
ngulfed by constructing the panels of the submarine so that the hull is completely
watertight we condemn ourselves 2 vacuity 4 there is nothing in the vessel but
mpty air – 4 we r the panels & b4 that the process of construction (another way of
viewing it (these r metaphors) is 2 say that its as if we r viewing the world
through different perspectives, or a stained glass window (11/7/07. ART (a 3-letter
word) (no 1)) xcept its not as if we r standing on 1 side observing a l&scape but
we r the shards of coloured glass themselves & b4 that the lead 2 hold them
2gether & the process of rranging & the l@scape is not outside but in contact
with the glass or of it.) & prhaps I am in some danger 4 Im addicted 2 swirling
water & dislike fixed positions & it mayb that my ship is held 2gether by only a
single nail. (7/3/07. Following is typed version of miniaturized photocopy of original handwritten insert:
Tuesday 30/3/99. Packing for the holidays which start Friday. We still aren’t sure where we intend to
go. The weather may decide for us. Andrew called in after interviewing some landscaping pioneers in
Eltham. I gave him the gai-z tape and we had a cordial lunch of ‘pow’ and Italian easter cake that had
been given to Helen by Dora D’Urso. I put a patch on a puncture in the tube (from yesterday) and
wrecked it by sticking it on while it was inflated. After ‘Improvised…’ I went to the Bocadillo with Jaark
De John, having met him at the event. Mark, another member of the ‘Unamunos Quorum’ was also at
the night but hated it; he’s not into avant-garde music I guess. For me the whole event was fantastic –
the best so far. The fact that I’m on good terms with various participants helps too. I know that Ren
Walters appreciates my positive feedback. I gave Jaark a copy of my gai-z tape and he gave me the
CD that they’ve just launched. They are about to do a series of gigs including one at ‘Improvised …’
but I may be absent for most of them. ¶ Wednesday 31/3/99. Kate rang at 9.00. She was distraught,
48
she’d had a barny with Jock. I turned up at Stalactytes at 11.30 and we yarned quietly about art till
almost 1.00 when I went to Nam Lung’s for dinner. She looked tired after a poor night but calmed right
down. She showed me her CV which she’s prepared for when she has to apply for grants; it looks
impressive. She had a cassette of music sung by Cathy Berberian that she lent me. In the morning I
had given a gai-z cassette to a woman in a shop in Eaglemont I sometimes talk to whose daughter is
a student of the events of the holocaust. This method of communicating by tape is a powerful tool for
networking. The hope when you hand out material is you get something in return as I did yesterday
with the CD. Jaark and me considered a definition of art as a desire to talk to as many people as
possible. There’s something in it I think. Me and Kate discussed Denis Spiteri’s response to my
cassette. He criticizes me for being too detached. Actually I think I’m very intense but in a cerebral
kind of way. Kate agrees. Denis cant understand my kind of personality and when he doesn’t
understand another’s way of being he finds it a personal affront. Kate seemed OK when we parted
but I again offered her the use of our house here, especially while we’re away over the next two
weeks. The house still functions, I explained, essentially like a refuge from the world. ¶ Thursday
1/4/99. Saw the film ‘Central Station’, a brazilian film and above the ordinary but a bit sentimental and
I doubt if it will leave a mark. Have made a decision that the gai-z cassette marks the finish of my
investigation of the holocaust in Lithuania. Its too dark a topic and finally it becomes a case of looking
into the heart of evil. They say if you look on the face of god you are blinded. To look too deeply into
the heart of evil is to go mad. Remembering is important but I am coming to the conclusion that
forgetting has its place too. Perhaps our faculty for forgetting has been given to us so that we don’t
get fixated in the past, especially not in past evils. Am looking forward to two weeks of travelling very
much in the presence of Helen’s company. I think its on our trips that we get to bask in each other’s
company the most satisfactorily. Tonight we’re going to the Bocadillo as if it was a Friday. ¶ Friday
2/4/99. We left our worries, namely Dan, at the leisurely hour of about 10.30am. Helen had talked to
Dan yesterday about why he wasn’t doing anything between now and next year when he intends to
start studying. He looks pretty nervy as he heads out back for a smoke and behaves lethargically
through the day as if he is somewhat depressed. I put in my 2 bobs worth too. Tonight we’re in
Tallarook State Forest at a high point recommended to us by the publican at Strath Creek. Its cold
and getting dark as I write. The forest is beautiful with not much undergrowth so it looks very
walkable. So were the forests around Strath falls where we were earlier in the day. Problem for Dan is
that he had set himself with so much certainty and determination for the hospitality industry that it’s
meant a big fall for him psychologically to discover that waitering is menial and not for him. In fact he
hates it so much he doesn’t even want to try it on a temporary basis to get some cash while he is
waiting to start a course. He made a wrong decision in leaving Crown, then felt humiliated that he
didn’t make it into the ranks of gun waiter at the Noodle Bar, then was cheated by the owner of
Genevieve. Don’t blame him for hating the very thought of being a waiter and maybe in the end the
change of mind will be the best thing for him. Meanwhile he’s doing it hard and on top of that seems
to lack a social life. Just after dark there was a sudden clatter on the gravel road we’re next to and
two horsemen galloped by followed by a hunting pack consisting of the most motley collection of
about a dozen dogs ranging in size from a great dane size to tiny dogs no bigger than a chihuahua.¶
Saturday 3/4/99. Having read a few articles earlier in The Age about the meaning of Christ’s death
and resurrection I suppose it was appropriate that I should spend a sleepless night on Good Friday
pondering the holocaust, the nature of evil, and man’s redemption from evil by Christ. The fact that I
was not physically extended during the day contributed to my meditations over night. My cycling is
making me fitter whereas H’s library work does the opposite for her so our holidays together do not
have the emphasis on long walks that they used to. I like it this way for relaxation. I dozed off in the
morning and then did wake up with a feeling of some enlightenment, some intellectual breakthrough.
But couldn’t quite pin it down. Perhaps it was a thought that the answer lies in simple faith that good
will triumphs over evil. I was pleased to hone down a distinction between denying (7/3/07. Gore Vidal
says ““Denial”, as Bill Clinton once so neatly put it, “is not just another river in Egypt.””)
and forgetting. Forgetting is important and necessary I feel, so that we can move forward but you
cannot forget if you deny that it ever happened i.e. we must first admit our guilt before we can ask
forgiveness and allow ourselves to forget. By being so preoccupied with these meditations I am in a
sense observing the Christian easter. Anyway on the way out of the Tallarook State forest we flushed
a Peregrine falcon that had killed a pigeon. We took in the magnificent view of the Goulburn valley
and river from Warringle Rocks at the bottom of which there are many car bodies. We read the paper
over coffee in Muddy Creek coffee shop/restaurant in Yea. We visited the big fair in Molesworth and
49
finally ended up at the Cheviot Tunnel which used to take the train from Tallarook to Mansfield under
a hill. We drove through the tunnel and took a walk along the embankment surrounded by peace,
even though the crickets are in full voice.¶ Sunday 4/4/99. I continued my easter devotion by briefly
kneeling in front of a crucifix with a tin cut-out of Christ nailed to it in the front of a small church that I
had stopped at when I was on the bike trip. This is the one between Highlands and Ruffy. We are
retracing my bike trip for the time being. Even visited Dennis and Margaret for an hour and a half.
They were entertaining Margaret’s mum and sisters. Earlier we walked along the Goulburn for an
hour or two where I had a dip for a wash. It was a beautiful walk east along the northern bank from
where the bridge for Ghin Ghin road crosses it. It being easter there are campers there and quite a
few visitors but most stay close to the bridge. Helen took a photo of me kneeling in front of the cross
after protesting that I was mocking it. But I wasn’t. Another realization that I am coming to by thinking
about the holocaust is that ‘evil’ is a mystery that cannot be understood or mastered by man. It can
disguise itself in the most ordinary clothes and makes men blind so that soldiers shoot women and
children without even believing them to be human beings. Increasingly I am coming to accept
Christian dogmas that were taught to me as a child e.g. that we can only be released from evil by
intercession of Christ, or a power greater than ourselves. Ive come to realize that the power of the
‘tauta’ or tribal nationalism that my parents (esp mum) so fervently believed in comes from the fact
that it really becomes a religion, an idolatrous religion that actually replaces the christian one while
pretending to support it. In the litho church it was nothing unusual to hear “Maria, Maria” to be
followed up with the national anthem: “Lietuva Tevyne Mūsu”. “Lietuva Brangi Mano Tevyne” which I
learned to sing last week is really sung in the same spirit as a hymn in church. I am writing these
notes in the store in Ruffy just as I did when I passed through here on the bike a couple of weeks ago.
Once again Ive had a hamburger and we will go on to the rec. reserve for the night. We’ve had quite a
chat with the lady who with her hubby owns the store. Its Sunday, just as the last time but this time I
know to buy a stubby of beer (and another of stout for later) before 5pm after which time they are not
allowed to sell alcohol. I am increasingly accepting of Christian tenets without at all being bothered by
the issue of whether Christ was or was not of divine origin.¶ Monday 5/4/99. It rained all night. We’ve
driven 250ks today entirely on minor roads. We called in at Murchison for the paper etc. This is part of
our routine and takes about two hours from mid-morning to lunch. Slow read, coffee, hamburger. Had
to be a bit careful today as the roads were wet from last night and kept that way with showers during
the day. Came across a small property that’s starting breeding asian water buffalo. Beautiful calm-
looking beasts. Spent over half an hour talking to the owners. Tonight we are camped next to the
derelict Terricks Methodist Church by a deserted roadway about 8ks out of Mitiamo. Earlier I took
several Madonna pose photos of Helen (7/3/07. about as inappropriate a model for the Madonna as you
could wish, given my record as a mother (11/7/07. & owrz wrnt vrjn brths)) framed by the empty window
of the church after which we drove to Mitiamo where we had a drink in the pub and got permission to
camp behind the tennis court where I had camped on the bike trip. On opening the back of the car we
realized we had left the clothes box behind at the church. Helen had used it to stand on for the
photos. So here we are, its getting dark, the location is beautiful and the mozzies are out. Camping
next to the church continues the easter theme that has been a feature of this trip for me. Time to
close; I’ve got two stubbies of stout waiting for me in the car. Carlton beat Collingwood, the Serbs are
expelling the Kosovars, and NATO is dropping bombs on Yugoslavia.¶ Tuesday 6/4/99. We are
parked for the night on Lake Catyo Batyo about 25ks south west of Donald. The sun has just set, the
second night in a row that we’ve watched it. This is one of those camping areas known only to locals
and we’re in the day picnic area a couple of ks away because we like privacy and don’t like to pay.
We’ve got here along minor roads, often gravel or dirt. We’ve gone through two places of classic
decline, i.e tiny places off the main roads that a tourist would not even pass through but have had a
pub which is now closed. The two places were Mysia and Wytchitella, the pub in Wytchitella looked
operational but had a closed sign in the window. Mid-morning read of the paper was at Boort, a very
nice town on a lake popular with tourists. South of town there is an area of natural bush (etc) called
Woolshed Swamp which we liked and thought could be a nice place to spend the night. Hamburger
for a late lunch (potato cakes for H) was at Charlton. Two stubbies prior to coming here were bought
at Donald, a town with all the services of 1,700 and like Boort and Charlton very much ‘real’ towns.
Our overall game plan since we’ve left the Warby Ranges (Ruffy) has been to travel in a northerly arc
along minor roads. This is a very unusual thing to do since Melbourne is like a hub from which roads
radiate like spokes. Nearly everyone travels along the spokes but we are travelling across them. ¶
Wednesday 7/4/99. Catyo Batyo ¬ Minyip ¬ Warracknabeal to shop up and read the paper ¬ walk
50
along the Wimmera river south of Tarranyurk ¬ Jeparit ¬ shore of Lake Hindmarsh (largest
freshwater lake in Victoria) for the night. Helen has a cold sore and got acute hiatus hernia pains for
which she got gaviscon (in Warracknabeal). It worked. She decided that the problem was that we
were not walking enough so from now on she is ensuring we spend at least 2-3 hours a day on the
hoof. Driving minor country lanes at 50ks an hour (even less at times) has meant we’ve spent a lot of
time in the car. Today we spent about 1½ hours walking along the Wimmera river and about ¾ hour in
Jeparit, so I suppose we’ve done the right thing. I’ve got into a pattern where I buy: 1 paper & coffee
in the morning, a hamburger in the early arvo, and a stubby of fosters and one of stout in the evening.
It’s a still evening and we can expect another cold night. We are in a mixed forest of black box
bordered by yellow gum with an understorey of lignum which surrounds the lake. Helen is doing a
crossword in Woman’s Day; its very peaceful. ¶ Thursday 8/4/99. We spent at least 5 hours walking
along the shores of the lake and sand dunes near Outlet Creek but Helen still had a bout of
heartburn. She had one in the middle of the night too where she took a pill and had to sit up for
awhile. We managed to inspect about a third of the western shoreline by driving along a little used
management track; all great country for bush camping. Tonight we are still camped on the western
shore about 20ks north of last night’s spot. Helen is collecting wood for her first fire of the trip. Its
good quality wood as we are in a grove of river red gums. This arvo she saw her first Regent parrots.
Otherwise she’s been collecting tiny feathers, mostly pink galah ones, for her craftwork. This is a
beaut spot with a view over the lake but the breeze which is coming straight over it is quite chilly.) Did
a 9k walk yesterday morning along the Thredbo River to Dead Horse Gap and back. The river is beautiful
with small rapids and deep pools of crystal water, though some of the walk was through burnt surrounds.
Back at the village at “Altitude 1370”, the coffee shop we’ve adopted, we paid $4.90 each for mugs of
coffee – the price had gone up since the day before – perhaps the Easter spirit of rampant capitalism had
peaked – it was Easter Sunday after all. We had a snack from the back of the van at luxurious carpark 2 so
we wouldn’t pig out at the party, and spent some time in the outdoor area at the local version of the
informal country pub fighting off the European wasps from our drinks. They are very persistent and
plentiful, and greeted us every morning at breakfast behind the van, along with the Little Ravens which are
large and glossy, healthy specimens. Then off to the party which Egle catered with heaps of delicious
finger food followed by a cassoulet served with Turkish bread, topped off with Rasa’s special cake (“you
take ½ kg of butter and 8 eggs …”) all washed down with as much beer, wine and champagne as everyone
could hold. John’s mother had hardboiled and dyed 7 dozen eggs for us all to play a traditional Litho egg
rolling game, which broke any ice remaining after the introductions. The many teenaged children popped
in and out to refuel during the evening from the room they adopted as their fortress. John made an
excellent speech highlighting Egle’s generousity and the impact she had made on his life as a newborn
arriving in his 12-year old world. A good time was had by all, and there was enough food left over to allow
the Garricks to be cooking-free for at least a week. Today we drove to Adaminaby via Jindabyne and
Berridale and sat in the sun in the little rotunda near the statue of the Great Trout while John wrote. Now
we are on the flat plain of the old Kiandra goldfields next to the Eucumbene River (a trout stream – there is
a fellow waving a rod at the water as he prowls along the bank) where it flows under a bridge on the main
road. The plain is small & ridgey from mullock heaps, surrounded by low hills. The fires have gone through
it, destroying the spongy alpine grass, but it has regenerated a thin cover of green. We are quite high up
(the nearest town is Cabramurra, which is the highest town in Australia) so the air is cool, but the sun is
shining.
9/6/03 ( 3/6/03 – 12/6/03 (no. 37)). 10.11am. Nvestigated the ruins. Everything is
2gether & thoughtfully ntgrated. Homestead, meat shed, gnrator shed, the shearers 1/4s which r
drectly out back of the house so the main kitchen served it 2, & the lrgest structure is the shearing
shed. The rubbish dump is a few 00 yards away & there r 2 clumps of the very lrge cactus with 20ft
high flower stalks which lean about in a chractristic manner when they dry out. U get thm all over
australia but they were ntroduced from america. Waves of scavngrs scour these places 4 collectbles
till nothing small of the slightest value is left but without the dstractions it makes the xellence of the
overall dsign more apparent. The mpty rooms prvide good sites 4 nesting swallows & they fly about
your head twittrin. Now th@ Im back @ the van Im being buzzed by flies. The weather has changed.
The wind has dropped 2 a slight breeze from the east. The sun is bhind a layr of cloud whch is
clearing from the south west. I reckon the best weather of the trip is coming over the nxt few days. @
The Errol in Errol st. H drew my @ention 2 an rticle about some rsearch that is being done in2 the
happy centre in the brain. Apparently this is a smallish area something like a walnut in appearance
called the amyglia (if I rmember rightly). The universty don doin the rsearch is rported 2 have said that
now we really know that buddhists r happier bcoz his rsearch prvides an ndpndnt measure of whther
people r happy. What crap! I can xplain the flaw in the assertion 2 a school kid. How come a rsearch
scientist cant c it? The ntrstin thing though is that this kind of faulty assertion is frquently made by
51
otherwise sensible people so u have 2 ask yourself why it happens. The fault lies in the fact that this
is 1 of those words wher we hav no clear notion of what it is that we mean in the 1
st
place so we dont
know what we r measuring. What some call happiness others may call bovine contentment. We may
hav no trouble in agreeing we r happy during ntercourse but some may dspute th@ a state of
buddhist contmplation is their idea of happiness. The word is used in a baffling variety of contrdictry
ways but whn the rsearcher woz measuring which prt of the brain woz sparking whn people
volunteered they were happy prhaps on a scale of 1-10 he had 2 hav a preconceived idea of his own
about the meaning of the word so as 2 eliminate those who told lies or who didnt spark up in
conformity with the dgree of happiness they claimed on the scale. & I spose those who didnt spark up
@ all & who pleaded they were telling the truth just didnt know their own mind or the meaning of the
word. The point is the ncentive 2 look 4 an ndpndnt yrdstick in this case comes prcisely from the
knowledge th@ we cant agree on what we mean by the word otherwise wed know whos the happiest
simply by asking. Even if no rsponses r eliminated u still nd up only with avrages ndicating the dgree
of consensus & th@ peoples rsponses r dstrbuted along a norm@ive curve (boy! those flies). I spose
prozac which Im told is used by a huge number of people these days puts the amyglia in2 a state of
prmanent glow & many will confirm they have bcome happier but significantly some wont. Thats 2 b
xpected since language comes from (xtenion, xpansion, complxfcation) the body. (car wnt by). But the
dbate about what constutes happiness will continue & will not b settled by a so called ndpndnt
yrdstick bcoz 4ging meaning is a social task (its what Wittgenstein means when he says th@ the
st&ard metre in Paris isnt a metre long) 2 which many groups contribute bsides the scientists. Should
we dcide happiness is something very diffrent 2 what we had prviously thought then all th@ would
rsult is th@ a rsearcher would find a diffrent bit of the brain is aglow when we say how happy we r.
The history of language shows such changes take place. The dsire 4 an ndpndnt measure comes
from a dsire 2 mnpulate & control by those who by owning the measure would lay claim 2 the
meaning (usage) of the word. (same car came back)…. 5.40. Staying here again 2night. Im much
less active than I would b back home wher Im on the bike. Stood about the van lisning 2 the footy.
Cmon the pies! Last week I prmised 2 shout the boys 2 the game (17/6/03. Joe, Dan, & me saw them
play their worst 1 of the year) @ the MCG (23/3/07. nkst s@rdi mi&Joe rgoen → Pies VS Kangaroos)
nxt sunday whn Im back whn they take on the hawks if they catch up with me @ litho house @
lunchtime. A few genrl commnts @ how words r used. Wittgenstein is very good @ dmonstrating th@
certain words such as ‘cause’ but specially words dscribing so called nternal states such as ‘ntention’
& ‘memory’ dsintegrate under scrutiny. It happens 4 a variety of reasons but my observation is th@ in
many cases its their role 2 b vague & even contradictory so th@ the struggle over their usage
provides fulcrums 4 social change. As the inside/outside metaphor loses @ractiveness as a way of
dscribing human beings the ‘nternal state’ words which have supported it & bn in rturn supported by it
will bcome less clear in their meaning. Another reason words can collapse under scrutiny is bcoz we
use some words 2 shunt aside our failure 2 underst& a situation. We label something & it feels under
control. An xample is whn we use the word coincidence 2 dscribe xtrrdinarily unlikely events in daily
life. In mathmatics it has a precise meaning otherwise its used 2 disguise the unknown. A couple of
weeks ago I woz asking H about hypnosis bcoz I woz wondering if there r common factors in the
relationship of gurus or cult high priests 2 their followers with that of a hypnotist & his subject. It
seems the subject willingly h&s over his autonomy 2 the hypnotist & in rturn in some cases can be
rlieved of pain eg during a tooth xtraction or even an operation. If it really happens its most
mysterious & byond my undrst&ing. It would help me accept the possibility that Master Li of Falun
Dafa really does transfer powers 2 his followers. H rmarked that its just another eg of ‘mind over
matter’. Well if u can blieve in mind over matter u can blieve in anything but especially in miracles. But
most people like H would dny they blieve in miracles. Here the phrase mind over matter & the
scientific sounding word hypnosis hav bn used 2 shunt our ignorance in2 a siding. Living in a world of
2 many unknowns is dstablizing & prvents action. Most of us opt 4 certainties. By the way u get great
sunsets on a dead fl@ plain. There woz a red 1 2night. Thers 1 of those rings around the moon which
r supposed 2 mean good weather nxt day. Its getting cold. Im turning in.
30/6 /03 ( June 28/29 (no. 38) (18/1/08. & nsrt(s) * ← Port Germein (no 53).)). Didn’t
have breakfast this morning (except for 2 mandarins each) in anticipation of Wirrabara pies. We first
discovered them on a trip to the southern Flinders quite a few years ago and they remain the Holy Grail of
pies (9/4/07. hv dskvrd nuthr gr8 p¤ shop nBerry NSW btween Kiama & Nowra)) for both of us. When
we got there (via Burra, Hallet, Jamestown and Gladstone) the anticipation was enormous and we
succumbed like the weakwilled flesh-eaters we are. He had a steak and kidney and I had a steak and
52
mushroom with 2 cups of strong plunger coffee for me and 4 for him, followed up later by a steak and
pepper for him and a steak and onion for me. A walk on the 1k pier at Port Germein and a stroll around the
town has done little to ease his discomfort (All that fat! All that meat! All that coffee!) so it looks like a
sleepless night tonight. I’m feeling OK but haven’t lain prone yet which is when my hiatus hernia reminds
me of my recklessness, if its going to. Our mutual propensity to indigestion wasn’t dampened by a long
(--------------------------------------- ------------------------------ ----------------------- ------------------------------
-----------------------------deleted------------------------------ ----------------------------------------------------------------
------------------- -------------------- ----------------- --------------) Saw camels yarded at Hallet –it’s nice and green
around here now so they looked a bit out of place – and a couple of alpacas which are becoming the
flavour of the month round the country, replacing the emu farms which took off like rockets some years
ago and are now no more. Port Germein is sleepy as usual though they are doing up the roads and the
house prices have risen. Someone from Tasmania bought the ex-pub right on the waterfront for $250,000.
It was last up for sale about 6 years ago for $80,000. Its been partially renovated but still needs lots of
work. I drank the 4 coffees bcoz th@ts what it took 2 mty the jug. Im ncapbl of
leaving a drnk ndrnk or food on the plate. But I have a solution: no t 2night, 1
Somac pill (the medcalized body), 3 stubbies (2 of Coopers Sparkling & 1 of
stout). Wer in the van overlookng Spencer Gulf (shoreline 15 yards away; surface
glassy; sounds of lappng water; a pair of pied oyster catchers (Haematopus
ostralegus) nearby (& another doz hav flown in); the sun is about 2 set; chimney
of Port Pirie smelter vsible on dstant shoreline). The van is on top of a s&y rise
(firm bcoz of the recent rain) backing the shore. The doors & windows r closd as
ther r mozzies bcoz of the mngroves but we hav xllnt vntlation from the pop top
windows whch hav netting. Later well roll back down the s&hill 4 the nght. The
book Iv brought is Nietzsche and the Divine (Clinamen Press 2000; isbn
1903083125) a complation of ssays edtd by John Lippitt & Jim Urpeth. H is
reading The Slightly True Story of Cedar B. Hartley (who planned to live an unusual life)
by Martine Murray (Allen & Unwin 2002). Iv just opnd the 2
nd
stubby & my
ndgstion is getting better already. I had plannd 2 write somethng about the way
language is connectd 2 the body (th@ it is a contnuation of it) but now I thnk of it
I reckn Iv givn as good an account as I m capbl of in prvious writings. Xplnation
is 1 thng & unncessry 4 those who have direct knwldge but should any1 wish 2
@mpt a better ndrst&ng I rfer thm 2 the writings of Nietzsche who knew what he
woz talkng about on ths topic. Many of those who hav bn rmmbrd 4 what they hav
said hav known (or actd as if they hav) th@ the ‘truth’ or othrwise of what they
say is 2 b judged by the ntegrty of the way they live (body & actions). Nietzsche
who hated the legacy of Socrates dialectic claimed it woz a direct consquence of
the ugliness of the mans physical ppearance. 4 Nietzsche (phlosphr of
perspectivism (“At least we are today far from the laughable immodesty of
decreeing from our own little corner that perspectives are permissable only from
this corner. The world has rather become ‘infinite’ for us once more, insofar as
we cannot dismiss the possibility that it CONTAINS WITHIN IT INFINITE
INTERPRETATIONS. Once more the great shudder grips us – but who then would
want straight away to divinize this monster of an unknown world again in the old
way?” (The Joyful Wisdom 374)”) the ‘masters of truth’ (how very many ‘truths’ ther
r!) wer the pre-Socratics. Heraclitus & the buddha gave away their possessions.
Wittgenstein shocked his rlatvs (1 of the wealthier famlies in europe) by givng
away his nheritance. Whn a rch man askd chrst what he must do 2 ntr the kngdm
of hevn he told him 2 giv away his goods 2 the poor & follow him (who had nothng
& nowher 2 sleep). *(1/6/05. but I do not make klaimz wich dpend on eny xmpl I mite giv or fail 2
giv) I hav opnd the Coopers Brewery Ltd * Best Extra Stout*. I m pleasntly the
53
slghtst bit dzzy.
7/7/03. We’ve been busy today – drove along the track further into the foothills and did a 3-
hour walk from there along the track to a stone hut with yards, where there was water in the creek bed in
patches, then onto the bare low hills to get a view from a high spot. When you look across to the deep blue
further ranges you think you are seeing the other side of the world, while the lower hill country between is
wrinkled by little folds where water drains, and corrugated by lines of exposed rock strata. The bigger hills
heave up quite sharply, like whales breaching. On the tops there are rocks with water patterns on them,
from when they were a river or sea bed eons ago. There were plenty of goats about, looking very healthy
and well fed – they eat most things and we saw one on its hind legs feeding off the cattle bush (they call it
Bullock Bush here) which is the olive-look-alike (Alectryon oleifolius) growing to about 5 metres (18/7/03.
th ntrstng thng about thm is th@ no1 has evr cn a seedlng). It stood like that for at least 5
minutes, looking very comfortable, as though it was a long-term habit. It reminded me of the Gary Larsen
cartoon of the cows standing about on their hind legs chatting while a look-out watches for cars. On one of
the ridges John found an arrow about 2½ feet long, made of an aluminium shaft with a rusted iron tip. We
speculate that people may come here to hunt the goats (and probably anything else that moves too). Then
we drove into Blinman 26ks away so I could check for phone messages and buy some more reading
material (I’ve done all the crosswords in the previous magazine, bar the cryptic which is too frustrating) for
when John writes. We had a drink at the hotel, which boasts an indoor heated pool and an a la carte
restaurant. Blinman is the highest town in S.A. and John remembers being here with Walter Struve (11/707.
ystrdae ♂ sntmi ♂z ssae ‘Dedicated to the Promotion of International
Understanding’: A Memorial for Kurt Offenburg at the State Library wchhzbn publshtn
The La Trobe Journal (12/7/07. 30/11/04 – 9/12/04 p2&3)) one October when it snowed, a
freakish occurrence jammed between 2 days of 35˚C. While the pub was upmarket, the store seems very
poorly stocked. We decided to come back to this track to camp, but 4ks further along, near a grove of
cattle bush along a small creek bed on a perfectly flat and grassless stretch of red-brown earth. We may be
on Angorichina station or Wirrealpa or Narrina – the stations are huge here. While John got dinner ready, I
made a fire ring with stones from the creek and got a fire laid for tonight. How’s that for role reversal? I
hav no doubt Nietzsche woz nspired & ndrstood no less well than Wittgenstein
th@ language is a contnuation of the body (Foucault got it from Nietzsche). His
dscussion of the role of the ascetic priest & the psychology of rligious practices
is partculrly nsightful. As phlosphr & poet he woz an outst&ing xprssion of the
final dynamics of the romantic sensbility. I dprt from him in m@ers of taste &
prfrence however. Zarathustra seems somewhat ludicrous now. Why wander
about all by yourslf in the high mountains near the snow line talkng 2 mpty air?
On rare occasions he dcendd 2 lower ground 2 talk 2 his dsciples. Why dsciples?
(17/7/03. from gratuitous self xpenditure, ie. xess, it seems) What s@isfaction
could he (or the ncient pre Socratic greek ‘masters of truth’) get from havng their
prnouncemnts acceptd ncrtclly? Nietzsches ‘will 2 power’ rminds me of the
mndless drive 2 accumlate wealth of contmprry tycoons. It strikes me as
compnsation 4 some kind of mpovrishmnt. His notion of self creation (rt of self &
also Foucaults ‘care of self’) seems more like self absorption. I would rathr
cultvate habits of acceptnce (15/7/03. Nietzsche agrees in a fashion). The idea of
a noble seer (no doubt Zarathustra wore long flowng robes & carried a staff)
seems partculrly outdated now th@ peopl r so confusd & craving 4 guidance th@ a
guru or cult leadr has only 2 put up his h& 2 b inundated with dsciples & followrs.
Much about the prticlar flavour of Nietzsches writing comes from his lack of
opportunity or nreadiness 2 lead a social life & his dspising of the herd mntalty.
Yet if it wernt 4 the masses seeking guidnce (slave mntalty?) the mastrs of truth
wldnt hav a role 2 play. I thnk, in summry, his opinions wer fatally skewed by what
appears 2 have bn a sadnss in his life. As with any committd writer u cannot
seprate the man from his output (thgh Shopenhauer claimd u shld). It is no
coincidence he lovd reading the ssays of Montaigne. Wittgenstein had givn away
54
his wealth, Nietzsche who woz already a profssor in his early 30s, ab&ond an
acdemic career 2 concentrate on writing.
18/8 /03 ( August 18 (no. 39) (18/1/08. & nsrt(s) * ← DANYO RESERVE (no 53).)).
Melbourne (9.30am) → Charlton (ptrl & hmbrgr @ Lous; 4 the 1
st
time Maria woznt here bcoz she woz
vsting her kids *(2/2/05. spent $20,000 on her suns weddn & a few yearz l8r he woz dvorced. Her
gr&rtr (hoo getz sum of my writn) iz studyin 2 bkum a 4nzk scientst) in Melbourne) → Underbool (2
stubbies) → Mittyack (20 mnute powr nap by the silos; found a crockery t cup rimmd with a flowr
dsign 4 H) → Danyo reserve (c June 28/29 p20 (23/3/07. & DANYO RESERVE (no. 53))) wher me
& H campd on the last night of the previous trip. Nothing has changed here, honey, in the ntervning 7
weeks. I suppose its bn 2 cold 4 the grass 2 grow & the ground is dry. Im buggrd bcoz I ddnt sleep
last night. I woz teeming with ideas whch now I cant b bothrd writing down. @ 2.30am I had heard
noises & got up 2 find Ben had arrived 2 use the washing machine he said but more likely 2 leave
their house mpty 4 Joe 2 do his casanova bit wth 1 of his new grlfriends after he knocks off work @
the pub in the middle of the night. Then @ 6am Kate rang from Sydney wher she had just arrived by
bus 2 get my mums fone number. Ystrday I woz eating kugelis (made by Bronia, Odrone etc; 4 the
recipe c 3/6/03 –12/6/03 p7) washed down with lambrusco (pourd by Ruta) @ litho house in Errol
st Nth Melb & now Im drnking a glass of Fruit Ballad Lavender & Apple dessert wine in a p@tch of
scrub in the middle of nowher. Im a wreck. Its getting dark. I can hear a very persistent cuckoo calling.
7.38pm. Cold.
25/8 /03. It occurred 2 me when I was reading Gulag (Anne Applebaum. ©
Doubleday 2003. ISBN 0767900561) th@ the guards on the trains heading east with their human
cargo in a journey which could take months were probably just ordinary boys. What we know of them
is they were poorly paid, usually sons of peasants, from distant provinces (it was a policy of the
soviets 2 assign soldiers 2 tours of duty as far away from their home provinces as possible) & their
living conditions were sometimes only marginally better than those of the prisoners they were
guarding. From accounts of prisoners we know the journey east was the most dangerous time of all &
many lives could have been saved had guards bothered 2 make an xtra stop 4 water or ensured a
scheduled stop wasnt ignored. Entire families died of thirst. But I am not inclined 2 blame the guards.
As far as they were concerned they were escorting train loads of lice, weeds, enemies of the people,
wreckers & saboteurs, counter-revolutionaries, spies & other parasites. It seems 2 me they may have
been the best of boys, the kind parents wish all their kids were like, obedient, & who accept what they
r told without question or @ least not requiring too much persuasion. It is precisely the good, law
abiding type of personality which is going 2 b most susceptible 2 the exercise of authority by the
state. The state 4 its part (whether under Hitler, Stalin or Mao) ensures the population practices @
disconnecting the meaning of words from the evidence of the senses (knowledge) of individuals.
People r made 2 shout & sing (2 provide an illusion of bodily connection 2 meaning) absurd slogans
which neither they nor those who invent them believe in. In this way they r made 2 practice @
violating the organic processes of how meaning is 4med so it bcomes the xclusive property of the
state (which however is composed of individuals who r its beneficiaries) which assigns itself the job of
social engineering. In the camps in the gulag where underfed zeks were dropping from exhaustion
the achievements of stakhanovite miners were posted up on noticeboards & blared through
loudspeakers. Their ouputs were not double or triple what everyone, guard & zek alike, knew was
humanly possible with pick & shovel but 5 times or 10 times the quota. 4 it was the purpose of the
state not 2 b believed but 2 train its subjects 2 ignore the evidence of their senses so they did what
they were directed without question. & it worked 4 awhile because we r naturally obedient & want 2
believe & do what we r told. Government (or any complex social organization) would be impossible
otherwise …. Got going @ 9.45 – back @ 3.45. Now I have the map I can tell u the spot where we
were rained out is 2½ ks along the track & and Ive driven another 1½ ks further 2 where it crosses
the main creek. I bottomed the front bullbar nosing down in2 a couple of the minor creeks but not
seriously & I reckon I could cross the big creek if I wanted 2 but Im happy staying here 2night 2 b
close 2 a great walk Ive got lined up 4 2morrow. Its a beaut spot 2 & only 10 minutes walk from the
hut & spring. I think it took me about another 45 minutes 2 get 2 the spot on the track where we
turned around. The track which shows no signs of having been used 4 a very long time is shown on
my Wirrealpa map sheet which is based on info surveyed in 1985 as coming out on the road which
goes from the Blinman/Wirrealpa road 2 Narrina. Often u cant even c it so it feels almost like walking
55
cross country but with the advantage of knowing exactly where u r on the map. There r mule
droppings everywhere & hoofprints which r surprisingly small & I wish I could catch sight of the
animal but I didnt. There is a bore called Donkey Bore where the windmill was spinning away but it
isnt connected 2 the pump & the water troughs & tank r derelict. I notice there is a fence along the
western foothills which keeps the stock on the plains from wandering in2 the hills which I think have
been left 2 their original inhabitants with the addition of the mules but minus the aborigines. I
investigated several minor tracks which go 2 what used 2 b small mines. These were probably 1 man
operations mining localized patches of mineralized rock. Climbed a hill which wasnt very high (575
metres) but gave a tremendous 360º view of the entire area I was interested in including the long
ridge along the top of which I intend 2 return after walking 2 the other end of it by creek & track
2morrow. U can imagine, honey, how surprised I was on the way back 2day 2 spot fresh footprints
going the other way on the track. The only explanation I could think of was th@ whoever left the tyre
marks on this track (which go on across the creek & then turn east) stopped during the day yesterday
& went on a substantial walk. Wouldnt have been anyone from the station as theyd have gone on a
trailbike. They dont go walking where there is no need 4 it or 4 the scenery. Anyway while I was
thinking about the bootprints I came 2 a stony track which wasnt marked on my topo sheet so took it
2 investigate as I had time 2 spare & after walking 4 a k or so came across a large pile of DONKEY
DROPPINGS in the middle of the track which I recognized I had passed going the other way. Yes, u
guessed right honey, I was heading back in the direction I had come from on the same track without
recognizing it. Once I turned around I was recognizing it though & the footprints, of course, had been
my own. Ive done it b4 & it always happens when Im immersed in thought. This time I had been
thinking how 2 reconcile a difference of opinion between Turing (1912-54) & Wittgenstein. Turing had
@tended 1 of Wittgensteins courses & asked a question Wittgenstein dismissed as indicative of a
failure 2 underst& him but Im going 2 reconcile their differences even though I cant remember what
they were. Anyway this is how it happened. I took a sidetrack off a minor sidetrack off the minor main
track & then returned 2 continue on along the first minor sidetrack (all the time deep in thought about
an imaginary difference of opinion between Turing & Wittgenstein) & then when I returned from it I
had forgotten Id already been on the other minor side track & assumed when I passed where it joined
the minor track I was on I had returned 2 the minor main track & the minor track going off 2 my left
was a new minor track not shown on the topo sheet. Something like th@.
22/9 /03 ( September 20/21 (no. 40)). After a brief breakfast we travelled to Tocumwal
via Katamatite and had coffee while reading the paper at one of the bakeries there. Then through the lush
green landscape to Cobargo where we had a drink at the pub and a chat with a local over which back way
to go to Hay, where we are now. Between Tocumwal and Cobargo we stopped for a brief walk along an
unnamed creek and changed into shorts and sandals, as the day was heating up. We are in the flat lands
well and truly – green grass to the horizons, with a tree line in the remote distance now and then. Along
the verges the Salvation Jane (called here, we discovered at the Cobargo pub, Riverina Bluebells) vies with
yellow capeweed daisies and the occasional escaped flowering canola to create a yellow and purple
splash, interrupted sometimes by large stands of palest pink/white flowers like small hollyhocks which I
think is dock (to pastoralists, noxious weeds all, but so beautiful. At least the beekeepers probably really
appreciate them.) Deeper in the paddocks are big swathes of yellow button flowers. In long puddles
behind the verges there were ducks and cranes and at one spot what could have been either a flock of ibis
or spoonbills. The birds are loving the lushness. Margaret Milburn, Dennis Spiteri’s wife, says that when
she was in China (during the SARS outbreak) their group didn’t see or hear a bird except for the finches
kept in cages as songbirds (and crickets kept in little wooden boxes for their chirping). As we drove
towards Hay it got hotter and windier – a strong wind ahead of the predicted change. Dust is blowing
about and the sky is hazy. It’s over 30º. We have stopped by the Murrumbidgee, having abandoned our
plan of sleeping on the plain near a bore (they do tend to drone on) or distant fenceline because of the
wind (the pop-top on the van is our achilles heel). Now of course, we are among large trees, so my ever
active imagination has us flattened like a sardine can in the wee small hours. If you are reading this, we
survived. John counted about 15 bearded dragons on the road between Cobargo and Hay, so the lizard
population is out and about. We also stopped to pick a few of the orchids we first saw yesterday in Broken-
Boosey park so I can attempt to press them – they are quite common along the verges, growing in the
area that is holding water next to the road. The book Ive brought is A Century of Violence in
Soviet Russia x Alexander N. Yakovlev & though Ive already read ½ of it prior 2
the trip (& it cost $70) (Yale University Press © 2002) yesterday I decided 2 leave
the rest unread. Ive had enough of this kind of thing & will donate it 2 the litho
library @ litho house. I have spent a lifetime reading these accounts in the hope
56
of discerning some p@ern which might (weve shifted away from the river 2 a spot
bhind the old railway station after a few twigs hit the fibre glass roof of the van &
then a 2 inch thick branch missed us by about a foot) help as a guide in how 2
avoid such insanities in the future but I have come 2 the conclusion nothing can b
done 2 prevent or predict & the whole is beyond underst&ing. The book I read
recently which has most contributed 2 this conviction is Defying Hitler x
Sebastian Haffner (© Phoenix 2003). I think its 1 of the best accounts Ive read on
the early nazi period because it is written by an honest & self-critical person. In
my capacity as self-appointed literary critic I recommend it (30/9/03. it shows the
germans knew what was happening quite early but had divided their knowledge
& their social life in2 separate compartments so th@ they saw without seeing &
heard without hearing); its on the bookshelves now. Last week I also read a
collection of newspaper rticles x Joseph Roth titled What I Saw. They cover the
same period from a different perspective. Personally though I cant stomach
reading about mans inhumanity 2 man anymore & run the risk of making myself
depressed. The 1 xception I might make is My Century x Aleksandr Wat bcause
Frank L gave it a huge wrap & is trying 2 locate a copy (13/3/07. &♂ddrÆlvy··
l8r&twozrgr8 . (14/3/07. a…z¬ DRUaMlMeOcND.) 4 me. If u go in2 a bookshop 2 get it
(eg. @ Borders or Hill of Content) they cant even find the authors name on their
computer though he is the 1980 Nobel Prize winner. What finally tipped the
balance with me was an xhibition of fotos th@ were put up 4 display @ litho house
in a passage every1 has 2 walk through 2 get 2 the dining hall & bar. Among
many inspiring & excellent fotos of exiles in siberia were a set of gruesome fotos
of tortured corpses of partisans guarded by the NKVD. All these pictures r copies
of 1s on diplay @ the genocide museum in lithol& (13/3/07. Vilnius 1 p4). The
pictures of the corpses, some of the most powerful & horrific Ive seen, had
originally been publically displayed by the NKVD 2 intimidate the population. Now
once again they r on display where even children & the mentally susceptible &
disturbed (I couldnt sleep 4 3 nights afterwards) cannot avoid being assaulted by
them. I pointed out 2 Bronia & 2 Andrius V (13/3/07. lrst ☼dae gaev ♂m rkopiov m¤ ALL
THAT WAS ALL THAT WILL BE CD ov m¤klktd 'nz (11/7/07. lftt n n nrshlf n♂z ofs ¤ dskuvrd lrst
☼dae. Nor dd ♂ snd rkopi → Rasa ( 27/10/03)) because I respect them as senior
members of the community th@ the majority of the partisans fought against
insurmountable odds precisely because they ddnt want 2 live in the kind of
society where outcomes r decided by intimidating people with pictures of
corpses & arguments conducted with body counts. (29/9/03. whether their
method was legitimate is another issue but it is part of the historical mythology
Ive inherited). Andrius V who agreed with me th@ the pictures should be taken
out from among the others & separately displayed where people coming 2 the
house (perhaps having invited unsuspecting friends (30/9/03. Rob, & Ross &
Farzaneh) as I had) had a choice whether or not 2 view them pointed out th@ the
yanks had done the same thing by publically displaying the mutilated bodies of
Saddams sons 4 television (30/9/03. thats when I knew 4 sure there had been no
WMDs 4 they had the option of taking them alive 4 interrogation but had
preferred 2 kill them b4h&). I ddnt think 2 make the point 2 him then but these r
the kind of actions which make me realize our civilization is on the skids. There
57
is room 4 the pictures, we should know what happened (the foto of the naked
corpses each with a typewriter placed on it with a guard on either side would be
of particular interest 2 writers: the symbolism is blunt – speak & u will b shot),
but the place 4 them is in a museum or somewhere where they r restricted 2
mature & willing viewers. It is my observation th@ those who were most directly
affected by such events r often the 1s least inclined 2 revive memories of them or
2 inflict their memories on others. My cousin (13/3/07. Melbourne-Kaunas p 5 &
ŠIAULIAI ) in lithuania who as a child (1 of the ‘children of the enemies of the
people’) used 2 walk past a primary school which had been converted 2 an NKVD
interrogation centre on his way 2 his school on a daily basis 2 the sounds of
screams & executions is by all accounts the most positive & humane of my
relatives preferring 2 leave the past bhind & look 2 the future. Vaidas tells me his
mother never talks about her experiences in siberia. Its time 4 me also 2 leave
this kind of stuff bhind – I hope Im not prevented from doing it. However
sometimes u have 2 speak though it would b easier not 2 & in my case I do it in
my writing, trying 2 influence outcomes in the very small worlds I live in. I
conclude with a quote from larger times (from a lecture titled art & fear x Paul
Virilio) of the confession of a german priest Father Niemoller: “When they
arrested the gypsies, I said nothing. When they arrested the homosexuals, I said
nothing. When they deported the Jews, I said nothing. But when they arrested
me, the others said nothing.” (2/10/07. but 22/10/07 )
27/10 /03 ( October 27 (no. 41)). I am @ the Ruffy recreation reserve located in the
VicRoads Country Directory @ 9 x A2 on map 47 a couple of ks along the road 2 Euroa. Its 4.05 &
peaceful so Ill probably remain 4 the night. I stopped here 4 a feed as when I got 2 the Ruffy Produce
Store where we ate on our last trip (c September 20/21 p 1) it was closed. I had been looking
4ward 2 a gourmet meal & had intended 2 give the owner a copy of the writing as I had mentioned
him & the store in it. Came the usual way through Whittlesea (where Ian Liddell wasnt home),
Flowerdale (where I ddnt stop 4 a beer), Strath Creek (where I also ddnt stop 4 another beer), &
Highlands (where Dennis was weeding his very lush garden which is in full bloom). I dont know
where Im heading 2morrow as there is a large low pressure system 4ming 2 the west whch prevents
me going in2 the fl@ country in western NSW as I had intended. I was going 2 go 2 the Daisy Plains
Road north of Booligal (c September 20/21 p 11-12) & then in the direction of Pooncarie, Broken
Hill, Burra & mayb the Flinders or the Gawler Ranges or the Eyre Peninsula but Im going 2 have 2
stick 2 sealed roads 4 awhile. When I started driving this morning I was in some discom4t from the rib
I broke on thursday 16/10/03. Th@ happened @ abut 10 pm when I was riding home 2 Miller st from
the Bocadillo bar where I had been with H while I drank 4 sangrias, 1 more than usual. Vis funeral
had been on the tuesday. She had died on the morning of friday 10
th
. We had been waiting 4 her 2
die since we got back after driving all night on the 29
th
of september. My concentration was down & I
was drunk so I rode in2 the traffic isl& in the middle of a poorly lit part of the road completely
unexpectedly. The bike went left & I went right hitting the road like a sack of spuds. Ddnt know what
happened till I was trying 2 st& up which @ 1
st
I couldnt & when I did I couldnt straighten up 4 quite a
while. Some people came along & picked up the bike & after I checked myself 4 broken bones &
thought there were none I was able 2 get on it & ride to Miller st. with difficulty. I was sore all down the
right side but especially in the elbow, wrist, hip, ankle & ribs. Luckily I hadnt hit me head whch must
have been cushioned by my outstretched arm. Mayb the ribcage hit the curbing of the isl&. The pain
really set in when the effects of the alcohol wore off during the night. I made my next major mistake in
the morning when I had an in depth encounter with H after discovering th@ by lying fl@ on me back I
was able 2 keep my upper half still. @ least thats what I thought @ 1
st
& by the time I knew I was
wrong it was 2 late 2 change plans. I had decided all I had was a case of deep seated bruising & I
could remember how effective sex is as a pain killer from another occasion years ago where both my
arms were broken (1 in 2 places) & were in temporary splints 4 a couple of days while I had 2 wait till
the monday 2 get them set in plaster (in those days people over a certain income had 2 use a private
58
doctor instead of a hospital casualty ward). On th@ occasion I was on morphine but the only time
over the weekend I was pain free was during the act. Its things like th@ which make u believe in
natural therapies. However on this occasion, & without knowing what medical opinion has 2 say on
the m@er, I strongly advise against it if there is any possibility u may have a busted rib. I wasnt 2 bad
4 the rest of the day on saturday. I was even congratulating myself 4 what appeared 2 b a miraculous
improvement. But on sunday I was in as much pain as I can remember. Saw Doig late on monday &
was able to control it with 2 tablets of Aspalgin & a 10mg tablet of Diazapam taken with a glass of
Drambuie b4 bedtimes. Also got a packet of PanadeineFT tablets whch I havnt had 2 use. Continued
the regime till friday evening, saturday evening relied solely on alcohol, yesterday morning ( ……
(deleted) ……) …… (deleted) ……(in spite of Hs urgings 2 the contrary) without any subsequent
consequences (8/11/03. Dan who sent an email from New York hoping I wouldnt give up riding the
bike will b pleased 2 know th@ last night I rode it from Ivanhoe → Bocadillo (3 sangrias) → Miller st 4
the 1
st
time since the fall). The only thing Im terrified of now is coughing or sneezing. Doig reckons
the bones start glueing 2gether after about 10 days (2day is the 11
th
) & its mostly completed over the
next 2 weeks & all finished 6 weeks from the start. Im on the mend. I am giving u this info in case u
fall off your bike yourself 1 day becoz though the newspapers have stories in plenty about Kylies
bum, the advertising industry sells everything with sex, churchmen r 4ever talking about the dangers
of it or of doing it wrong (except 4 procreation), practical advice 4 simple occurrences such as what 2
do when u fall off your bike is not always available. As Rasa Normantas said 2 me @ litho house a
few weeks ago “prie gero noro nera blogo oro”. Its a litho saying of her fathers from the western part
of the country & now th@ u can access a dictionary of your choice on the internet u can work out
what it means 4 yourself. (incidentally H has shown me sites Dan gets a mention in, with pictures,
which are accessed under Dan Zizys if u search on Google). Oh yes, Denniss studio is finally being
built. Its a large project & the cost has blown out like Federation Square. Originally he had budgetted
4 $150000 & then he was told it couldnt b done 4 less than $280000. Hes managed 2 shave $40000
off by using cheaper materials etc. & doing the painting whch was quoted @ $17000 himself. Hes
had 2 cash in some of his super whch was supposed 2 finance him 4 the next 10 years till he bcomes
eligible 4 the pension. Luckily Margaret is much younger than him & can look 4ward 2 a long working
life. Or he might have 2 sell some paintings! Just been 4 a bit of a walk along the lane on the northern
side of the oval & around the oval. The beautiful row of oaks r vvid green with young leaf. Theres
been plenty of rain in the area according 2 Dennis (13/3/07. subskwntli ♂ told mioff 4spln ♂z naem
rong – thrz oenli 1 n.) & it shows. Meantime in Melbourne where its much warmer many large
deciduous trees, including 1 of the largest in Ivanhoe, havent sprouted & Im wondering if they r still
alive. Rabbits r plentiful in the lane. I think they r making a comeback. Crimson rosellas (Platycercus
elegans) r very common. I can hear pobblebonk frogs nearby though I cant see where the water is.
Its going 2 b a real cold night. The noisiest birds I am hearing right now r the sulphur-crested
cockatoos (Cacatua galerita); they must be roosting nearby 4 the night. The Ruffy community is
thriving judging by the work th@ has been done here. There is a new lock on the clubhouse door, the
cricket pitch is being properly maintained, toilets r in working order, & a br& new gate has been
installed 4 an entry from the lane. On the club house veranda there is a single plush red rocking
chair. There is no1 about & there hasnt been any traffic along the road (2 Euroa) from whch u come
in2 here. Its 8.30 & Im going 2 bed.
3/11/03. When I was coming back yesterday evening with the sun @ my back
highlighting an occasional flock of budgerigars on a dead branch like brilliant green leaves or feeding
on the ground with crimson chats (very numerous here) mixed among them I was overcome by a
sense of almost physical (it was when u think of it) yearning & memory of the way I have seen these
lakes & channels when theyve been full of water. How the numbers of budgerigars would explode if it
happened again. & the feral pigs I suppose & the lignum turn lush & green. All the drying scrub in the
depressions would turn in2 swamp & fill with countless water birds, tortoises & fish. Ive seen it like
th@ 4 this was the part of the inl& I 1
st
fell in love with. It may not happen again. The amount of water
being diverted away 4 irrigation in the upper reaches of the Darling never stops increasing. 4 it 2
return 2 the way it was the lakes need 2 b filled 4 several years @ a time & even then it happened
only rarely. (9/11/03. I notice now th@ the following passage was also in George Joosts funeral
service):
59
The Book of Psalms – Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want / He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters. / He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of
righteousness for his name’s sake. / Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of
death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. / Thou
preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointeth my head with oil;
my cup runneth over. / Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and
I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
I thought it was appropriate it was Ben who read it bcoz I feel th@ of our kids he is the 1 with the
largest capacity 2 b soothed by the beauty of the natural environment. When he was little he would
sometimes spot small snakes of unusual variety whch I had walked past without noticing. (9/11/03. He
also had a long-standing affinity to stumpy-tailed lizards, which he always noticed and wanted to handle –
helenz.) I hope he gets the opportunities 2 b calmed @ nights in a tent or van as I was last night. I
was given all this without having deserved it – 4 free. The psalms were 4 awhile my favourite reading
& I suppose this is the most famous of them. I doubt though if Vi would have aspired 2 being a
herbivore, grazing in green pastures. She liked 2 talk 2 much. But I share its sentiments & expect 1
day 2 b freed of language … (driving along @ 50ks/hour spitting loquat pips out the window) ….5.00.
It was about 16ks northwards b4 I could turn west again @ the sign saying Cothero 20. B4 u get to it
there r some xcellent spots u can pull up @ away from the road on the banks of the river where the
road runs close 2 the Darling. As soon as I turned west it felt like a case of déjà vu. The track looked
barely used, once a month I reckon, & of the kind where @ any moment u might find s& or a washout
& have 2 turn back. It reminded me of how a lot of tracks I used 2 drive on 30 years ago had been.
About 10ks of it had grass & shrubs down the centre which brushed against the bottom of the van. I
wanted 2 stop @ Cothero bcoz I had been there 4 directions some 35 or more years ago & had been
amazed @ the sight of the masses of flowering hybrid gazanias surrounding the homestead &
seemingly acclimatized. These r the flowers which r such a feature along the roadsides of towns like
Morgan & Mildura in the s&y country. Mr L.A. Crozier (Cuthero Stn, Via Wentworth. NSW 2648.) who
was the only 1 around when I drove in tells me he thinks they might b called african daisies. I
explained 2 him th@ in my memory the 1s around his house were the 1
st
I had seen & now they roll
over south east australia & have even reached the outskirts of Melbourne. He says when some1
gave him the seeds he had never seen them either. Then he tried 2 grow a paddock of them as
horses, sheep & cattle all love it but they ddnt take. He has seen them in south africa 2. I told him I
had met the guy whose great gr&father (or great, great or something) who had been a coachman 2
the Austin family in western Victoria had been the person who had picked up the 1
st
consignment of
bunnies @ the Melbourne docks. Anyway, Mr Crozier (in his 70s or 80s Id say; in an hour of yarning
we had neglected 2 exchange 1
st
names) is not responsible 4 introducing the african daisy but he
may well b an early link in the chain. Me & H think they look great. He (gave him a couple of old
pieces of mine & promised 2 send this 1) drew my @ention 2 some largish honeyeaters whch he
never sees in the yard or in the district until the bottle brush & the silky oak in the yard start blooming.
I xplained they were blue-faced honeyeaters (Entomyzon cyanotis) & outside their range but now Im
wondering if they werent little friarbirds (Philemon citreogularis). I wish I had looked more carefully.
He was wondering how they knew 2 find his yard @ the same time every year. I suggested it may b
the same group which had 1
st
memorized the location though none of the original birds were left. Its
hard 2 imagine how else nomadic birds could perform the feat. Apparently tribes of elephants can
learn intricate migration routes a memory of whch is retained by a smaller group within it consisting of
the matriarchs who pass the knowledge on from generation 2 generation. It would make sense as
young elephants r dependent on their mothers 4 a long time. According to old man Crozier when a
single sheep is separated from its flock it has difficulty finding its normal watering points. He also told
me, Im not sure why, th@ Hazel Hawke who has just been diagnosed with altzheimers is giving a talk
on the telly 2night so I told him about a relative of Margaret, Deans wife. She told me after Vis funeral
she had known a woman with altzheimers who had been prevented by doctors from dying of
pneumonia a dozen or more times. From there I drove through Popio (where I got lost 4 awhile &
needed directions) 2 cross the highway @ Coombah where I filled up with petrol. The idea of
travelling due west all the way 2 Burra along secondary tracks & minor roads really appealed but
60
after getting 30ks along the track 2wards Terranania station I got bogged in windblown s& crossing a
bit of a dune in some mallee & barely managed 2 reverse back down the rise without getting bogged
again. Im in no hurry 2 get anywhere & dont like the notion of pushing 2wards a destination as if its
more important than the journey so I took it as a sign I should turn back. I might have made it over
with more of a run @ it on a 2
nd
@empt but then I might have come 2 deeper s& further along. So I
am back about 10ks parked 4 the night on the shore of the dry lake Woolcunda. Going 4 a stroll, then
a mug of coffee & 2 bed. Oh yes, forgot 2 mention earlier: initially I had thought I had missed Cothero
or it was no longer there bcoz I had gone 25ks or more from the sign saying Cothero 20 but it was an
old sign in miles. U got 2 b careful in these parts …. I have a prickly companion – an echidna about
20 yards away. It hasnt seen me yet. Its heading this way.
(13/3/07. Completion of Mondays from folder 4. (nos. 34 – 41 of anthology))
16/2 /04 ( 16/2/04 – 27/2/04 (no. 42)). (litho day of ndepndnce (23/3/07. thei ddnt
slebr8t this y·@ lthoehaus nErrolstNthMelb much 2th shokv thrjnl jnraeshn)). Melbourne (left @
10.10) → Whittlesea (pushed thrgh the weeping willow whos branches reach the ground & serv as a
‘g8’; Ian Liddell wasnt home but Sally was with his nfant gr&aughter whom she was about 2 take 4 a
c@scan as she has bn knocking hrslf nconscious whn she bumps her head) → Strath Creek (got a
stubby) → Highl&s (wher the roof is up on the studio whch is huge, big nough 2 park an aeroplane in,
overlookng a view I thght 2 b wagnerian but Dennis says is pastoral. The studio has no windows so
outside lght not nterfere wth inner lght (so said El Greco Dennis said) & ther is going 2 b a water
feature out front & Dennis is aglow & doesnt think of Melbourne anymore & feels as if his life is just
strting & he 1ts it 2 go on 4ever. He has ab&onned thghts of bcoming a rcluse & is activ in many local
orgnizations & last week had 2 hire PORTALOOS 2 c8r 4 an outing 4 refugees th@ an orgnization he
is nvolved with had put on. Country life!) → stoppd 4 an echidna walkng down the middl of the road
→ m writing these notes a few ks south of Ruffy on the Ruffy/Caveat road in a clearing x a pool wher
ther is a small oak tree whch was plantd in 1988 x the chldrn of Ruffy 2 commmr8 the bicentnnial
year & has hardly grown in 16 years. Lay on the bed with tailg8 & sliding door open fannd x breezs &
listning 2 thm in the branchs. I had plannd 2 go west (mayb 2 the Eyre Penisula) but this mornng took
out all the maps I had put in & dcided 2 head northeast over the ranges 2 coastal East Gippsl& or
southern NSW. I m suffring from SHAGGERS BACK (known 2 Plato ccording 2 Montaigne (c
11/11/02 – 20/11/02 p 13 (11/7/07. & 18/11/02)) & n10d 2 make frequent rest stops so as not 2
ggrav8 the condition. (3.40) → Yarck (@ B8 x 3.7 Map 62 of VicRoads Country Directory) (@ Yarck
Hotel drinking pot of beer. It is a xaggeration 2 say I m in a st8 of CRISIS since realizing th@ I hav
completed a writing task whch has kept me in an n10sified space 4 4 years. I suppose it bgan in 1999
with sevral 1 page pieces titled Art, Labels, Remembering, Ants, & Time. The nxt 4 years wer
spnt xp&ing on thm. Or prhaps it bgan with the piece 25/1/00. @ any r8 I know I hav finshed wth the
same certainty as I knew in the ntervening years th@ I was wher I shld b. & so in answer 2 the
commnt in his letter x FnL Osowski (whos l8st edition of ZŌ is titled KHORA ( a study of Platos notion
of Khora, as described in Timaeus. ISBN 1876891521) hoping I make the best dcision about writing
/reading /praying I can say I m left WITHOUT PURPOSE & no longer know wh@ I m doing (2/12/07.
now ¤ no – buttz rdfrnt projkt). I continue scribblin out of habit & 2 satisfy minor aims. Frank Lovece
howver tells me ther is a point of view th@ writers dont know what they r doing (being only
nstruments?) & it is up 2 the readers 2 dcide if they serv a PURPOSE. (5.00)) → Whitfield (c
11/11/02 – 20/11/02 p 2) (Wittgenstein claims th@ 4 the Tractatus 2 b undrstood all the
st8mnts whch go 2 make it up must b held in @10tion @ the same time. I sketchd a l&scape just as
large but rquiring only a few features 2 b held b4 the gaze simltneously 4 the picture 2 bcome vsible
but I m not sure if any1 was able 2 c it. It is not mportant. My motive was 2 seek CLARITY 4 myslf & I
dont feel the need 4 it any mor. (I m drinking a glass of merlot 4 $6). Last week I got hold of an ssay
courtesy of Frank L & Andrea di Castro (23/3/07. had lunch wth ♂m 2dae) (the prvious week they had
also combined 2 run off 4 me Freuds ssay The Uncanny (Das Unheimliche) whch I 1td bcoz
Roberto Calasso (recommndd 2 me x Con/George Kotzabasis (on the SBS board of drectors 4
10 years (86-96) & servd on the Equal Pportunities Board & 4mer advisor of Hawke govt. on
multcultural & poltcal affairs) who sometimes drinks a coffee in the Errol in Errol st. in front of his
laptop on whch he writes antiterrrist tracts 4 a thinktank) in his book The Ruin of Kasch claims th@
whn Freud wrote it → (shiftd 2 spot on the King river (c 11/11/02 – 20/11/02 p 4)) he faild 2
acknowledge he was fluenced x the personal xperience of the number 62 (my age) coming up
61
‘coincidentally’ during his travls in greece in 1909 whn he was 62 years old himslf & was obsssed x
the thght he would DIE @ the age of 62 (how wrong he was!). I 1ted 2 hav the ssay whch I hav with
me now though I havnt read it bcoz such ‘COINCIDENCES’ r a favourite topic (c 22/-10/01 –
2/11/01 p 2 & The Hat p 3) of mine & realized a couple of quotes I had read made x Paul Auster
4 whom it is also a favourite topic must have come from it. The quotes were ncoherent as far as I was
concerned & I 1ted 2 find out if the full rtcl made sens. After they ran off the ssay we wer eating in an
eatery in Central Station in a slghtly subdued mood as Andrea had just told off a chinese girl h&ing
him his california h&rolls 4 having her thumb on 1 of the rolls. We wer dscussing god & Andrea was
xplainin what the word meant 2 him ie. it meant alpha & omega, evrythin & nothin, nfinity & final
cause etc, etc. & I said 2 him th@ such a god was useless as u cldnt talk 2 him in the way th@ Frank
mght 1t 2 talk 2 his god & god cldnt possibly nswer back as 1 day he mght nswer Frank who I
suspect prays (BUT STRICTLY IN SECRET). It makes no dffrence whther u blieve in his god I told
Andrea & he admittd he ddnt.) th@ they wer going gaga over (Andrea is an rchaeologist) just as
comprhnsive in its sweep as my stuff. Its calld Origins of Society x Ernest Gellner (now dead) &
Iv got it wth me & m going 2 quote from it over a number of days bcoz Frank was quoting long slabs
of it 2 me as I waitd 4 me hmburger in a small s&wch shop @ the back of the libary in Russell st.: “,
the diversity which is exemplified between cultures simply is not tolerable within any one of them.
How is the unrestrained diversification of thought and conduct, of a cancerous growth in all directions
permitted genetically, inhibited in any particular society? …. The problem is; what prevents humans
from developing too fast and too wildly, given that the generic constraints are far too wide to explain
the stability and homogeneity of human societies?” It is 8.35 & getting dark. The King river is burblin
over rocks. How much better than the sound of traffic!
23/2 /04. → Bemm River (so I can b lookn out on the lake (Sydenham Inlet) 4 breakfst;
its a nice spot 2 write & thers a toilt here. Ystrdy evning I nearly jumpd out of me skin whn a low flyng
jet headn west along the seashor (probbly home 2 the Sale RAAF base) roard past out of nowhre.
Ddnt get a chance 2 c it & thght what it must feel like 2 get TERRORIZED from the air. Ths mornng
b4 dawn heard a wild dog. During the night, 4 the 1
st
time on the trip, I kickd out @ the side of the van
wthout doing any serious damage 2 it or me toe. I was kickn a metre long crab wth threatninly raised
nipper (27/2/04. Freuds terprtation: concern over my dmnishn LIBIDO has prmptd the mergence of
an INFANTILE CASTRATION COMPLEX.) th@ I was passing going the othr way in a narrow
passage. It was @ the nd of what I thght in the dream was a rdclously meanngless set of evnts so I
editd (Ha! Ha!) thm out of my mmry rathr than fix thm down whch would hav rquird me 2 wake whch I
did anyway whn I lashd out @ the crab. It had somethng 2 do wth me complainng about the mess the
place had bn left in aftr a party or celbration & then suddnly it was all spick & span 2 fast 2 hav bn
done proply it seemd 2 me & I ddnt bliev it was possble & then I had the ncountr wth the crustacean
scuttln the othr way. Earlier in the nght a lot of thngs had falln in2 place 4 me. I realizd th@ the
techniques of doubling & mirroring used x Paul Auster in Oracle Night whch faild so misrably in
my case, r borrowd drectly from the ssay x Freud whch Auster probbly rread b4 writng the book. More
signifcantly it is likely th@ a short ccount I had read x him in an old copy of a Granta magzine (c
August 18 p 5) is fabrc8d or @ least mbellishd. I had bn sspicious of parts of it but nclind 2 accpt
the truth of most of the rest. Its a pity he shld use the xperiences he dscribes in The Book of
Memory (in the Invention of Solitude) (c 22/10/01 – 2/11/01 p 3) whch I hope hav bn honstly
rcordd 2 make a $ as a writer. & he does it x foisting the same tricks on a gullble readrshp Freud
dscribd thgh in turn Auster ppears 2 b a dupe (thgh equivocl) of the old shrink himslf. Freud is rght of
course in saying it is a writers prog@iv 2 nvent as he pleases. We giv the writer his title as author in
xchange 4 whch he givs away his credblty. Its a case of reader bware. In my case it doesnt m@er
since I m clined 2 defer 2 the final authorty of my own eyes & ears. Nvrthlss I m pleasd 2 hav read
Das Unheimliche bcoz it fluences me 2 lay Paul Auster aside 4 good. I find it ironic thgh th@ Freud
shld draw such a long bow in his ccount of the xperience of the ‘uncanny’ both in the xamples he
chooses & evn more in his xplnations of the mechanisms of rprssions & trns4m@ions rspnsble 4 thm
4 its much easier 2 illstr8 magical, primtive thinkng, doubling, & mirrrring x anlysing the edifice of
Freudian theory & concepts than the rigins of the ‘uncanny’ xperience. Can u find anywher bettr
xamples of doublng, mirrrring & shadowng, than Freuds own conscious/subconscious, & the
multplyng dentities of ego, superego & id? These notions r a trns4m@ion of the mind (a kind of ghost
of the brain) itslf a trns4m@ion of the psyche (a spirit of the brain) whch traces its lineage drectly
back 2 the soul (a ghost of the body). They hav all lost their meanng 4 me & the quickr they r
62
consignd 2 the trash bin of histry the happier Ill b. U can b certn th@ shld the ego, superego (in the
frontl lobes I spose), the id & the nconscious (the ganglia?) rtain their place in language & poplar
folklore so will the mind, the psyche, the soul, angels & demons, ghosts & the othr spirits of the air; 4
they r cousns & 2
nd
cousns of the same disreputabl x10dd famly. → Cann River (took the Old Coast
Road ovr the rivr & thrgh the forest bcoz I 1ce saw a dogxdingo on it & I 1td 2 avoid the hghwy; ths
stretch has a 10dency 2 hav logs fall † it but the tree trunks on the rd all had a section cut out wide
nough 2 let a vhicl thrgh; skittld a large black snake. Cldnt get The Age in Cann River so had 2 settl
4 The Herald-Sun whch is a bysmal paper (& ncites hatred) but I wntd 2 read about Collingwoods
thrshng x the Eagles. Wntd 2 buy buns but the only 1s in stock wer of the awful, putty like, vriety
typcal of Vic country towns. Bought a hmbrgr & coffee @ the roadhouse so as 2 read the ppr @ a
tabl. The hmbrgr was in wht r calld hmbrgr buns in the genral store wher I had 1td 2 buy buns & wher
no doubt it had bn prchsed x the roadhouse as it dsintegr8d the very 1
st
time I put it 2 me mouth.
Checkd the message bank & ther was 1 from H. Got thrgh 2 her @ school. Shes gettng hrslf in2 a
lather over the yanki speakr shes nvited wth her grant money ($16270). This dude is xpensive &
xpects 2 b lookd after nxt weeknd prior 2 giving the talk on mndy. So H doesnt 1t me home till after
the weeknd bcoz she 1ts 2 dvote hrslf completely 2 ferrying him around. I bet she is not going 2 pay
hrself 4 the effrt out of the grant money if ther is any left after paying him. I think the talk is on Hs
currnt hobby horse th@ it is more mportnt 2 teach kids the processes of gaining info from new
technolgies than 2 teach the info itslf. (5/3/04. His name is Jamie McKenzie, and though a Yank, he is an
acknowledged and respected authority in his field of expertise – information literacy- and it was something
of a coup to get him out to speak. I had no intention of ferrying him around on the weekend , though he
did wish to meet informally for an hour or so on Sunday evening with a few of the participants of the
seminar being held on the Monday, as an ice-breaker. I did also go to the lecture on doing better with
fewer computers he gave on Saturday morning to 120 educators , as he had offered 2 free seats to our
school in return for being able to borrow our datashow projector for the session. No, I didn’t get paid – why
should I? Every teacher I know spends far more time on the weekends doing school work than I do, every
weekend of the school year. Some things we do because we believe they’re important – you write, I talk
about information literacy. To each his own. (and you don’t even have to type my stuff!) The seminar went
really well and I feel very happy about it, even though it took every ounce of my energy and concentration
to pull it off ….helenz.) Then I pulld in outside the pub prkng @ 45º (as many towns in NSW do) on
automatic & went in 2 get 2 stubbies 4 the rd. As I pulld away frm the pub a cop tootd from bhind &
whn I pulld up in the main st he said I had prkd @ a weird angl in a no prkng zone & then taken the
wrong lane whn I rspondd 2 his signal. He was wrong abt the no prkng zone & I had tkn the wrong
lane in cnfusion coz he was tootn me but he dm&d my licence & rang up 2 chck the computr info on
it. I sppose it took less than 10 mnutes & he gave the licence back sayng it was OK & I could go but
he noted I had bn rprtd missng & 1drd wht tht was about. I said it was whn I was ncorrctly rportd as
having brokn down on the shor of Lake Frome in centrl australia x a helicoptr from a mining concern
& the police @ Leigh Creek sent some1 out 2 check wht had happnd. The cop seemd pretty happy
wth the story & I drove off but then I realised it cldnt hav bn th@ ncidnt whch was rcordd on the plice
file but had 2 b the ccassion about 3 yrs ago I think (4/10/00 –5/10/00) whn H had rprtd me as
missng 2 the cops so I could b rrestd on the hghwy on grounds of INSANITY. The reason she had
givn was th@ I was a danger 2 myslf or othrs. I had drivn off in haste 2 avoid the un1td @10tions of a
coupl of hosptl workrs she had secretly summond who had just arrivd dm&ing I get out of me van &
talk 2 em. 1 of thm had stationd himslf in the middl of the rd 2 prvnt me rversng out of the drive & I
would hav drivn ovr him if he hadnt got out of me way. I hav a horror of falling in2 the clutchs of
nstitutions on any terms othr than my own as I think I mght b an abnrml persn & they mght b nsenstiv
2 my needs. Anyway the plice ddnt pick me up as I was on minor rds avoidin thm (H had told thm 2
xpect me along the Calder hghway) but the ncidnt triggrd a huge 3-4 day bout of paranoia whch was
a totally novl (but now Im recurrntly subject 2 it) & ovrwhlmng xperience 4 me. I drove abt r&omly
rgardless of day or night kept going only x the almost unlmtd supply of RAMAZZOTTI I had stockd up
wth. In retrospct I view the xperience as havng bn ssential 4 my education but @ the time it was …. I
dont know how 2 dscribe it. Aftr I rturnd & the plice wer in4md & we had a famly gathring 2 calm
evry1 down & convince various mmbrs of the famly who had bn wrongly in4md th@ I was suicidal
th@ I was out of dangr we spent sevral days while I rcoverd & we agnized over the dcisions whch
had bn made & courses of action takn. I convincd H th@ I was unabl & unwillng 2 tolr8 normlty & th@
2 put the cops on 2 me 4 err@ic bhavr was a sure way of dstroyng me. H wrote & signed a letter on
her own nitiativ whch I put out in 1 of my pieces (4/10/00 – 5/10/00) sayng she had bn wrong 2 act
bhind my back & she would not do it in the future. Only problm was th@ I was still listd on police
63
rcords as a po10tial suicidal or homicidal MANIAC. So H made various fone calls & visits 2 the cop
shop xpressng the dsire the rcord b xpunged bcoz it had all bn a mstake & ventually they ssured her
th@ her wishs had bn met & ther wer no mor rcords in xis10ce of me being a DANGEROUS persn.
But now I find th@ whn the cops run me drivers licence past their computr it tells thm I hav bn rportd
missing & I bet th@ bit of info isnt on wthout a refrence 2 a plice file somwher whch xplains why its
ther, othrwise wht would b the point of it? A couple of weeks ago I read Janet Frames (who died a
week earlier) 3 part autobiography An Angel at My Table. She had bn lockd up in a madhouse &
put on a short list 4 a lobotomy 4 whch her mothr (no doubt convincd x the medical authorities
(5/3/04. It is a chrctrstc of & a necessty 4 some of the most angelic womn (eg. Aldona Eugenija
Kezytė of We are Unprofitable Servants (I m up 2 p. 92) who was in Vilnius (Vilna, Vilno) 1941
→ & who in her nauseating bk fails 2 giv the slightst hint th@ jews had evr livd (& wer murderd) in the
city. I @ribute her blindnss 2 the marriage of nationlsm (&/r tribalism, ethnicity?) x rligion whch she
reprsnts.) 2 do wht they r told x authority.(5/3/04. Perhaps it is the result of millions of years of
evolutionary experience of being dominated by the male of the species from the neanderthal onwards. You
guys were bigger if not uglier than us girls, and weilded bigger clubs and fists. Obedience to a leader
(male, because physically stronger) was necessary for the preservation of the group in times of
danger/threat. In some societies even today we obey our fathers, brothers and then our husbands because
not to results in serious bodily harm. We didn’t even get the vote till the beginning of the 20
th
century
because the blokes felt we were too soft in the head to manage it. I read the other day that Norman
Lindsay, the artist and voluptuary, referred to women as “the half-minded”. Someone famous in English Lit
(was it Samuel Johnson?) said that a woman thinking was as amazing as a dog dancing on its hind legs –
amazing not because it is done badly but that it is done at all. Female acceptance of authority is the
logical (and no doubt desired) outcome of patriarchal societies .Men cant have it both ways – independent
thinking and the promise to obey in the marriage vows are probably mutually exclusive - helenz.)) th@ it
was 4 her daughters wellbeing & a measure of last rsort) had signd a pmission. Some of the othr
people on the list abov her had rcently bn lobotomized. It came 2 the notice of the new suprvisng dctr
th@ 1 of his patients had just 1 a litrry prize. It had bn rportd in the newspprs but Janet Frame in the
asylum knew nthng of it. The dctr mmdiatly took her off the lobotomy list & made the necessry
changes in her trtmnt whch led 2 her vntual rhabiltation. This was the only part of the bk wher I
choked up wth nvoluntry spasms (Iv just paid $15 2 the camp suprvisr who came round 2 collct it & 2
write down my name & rego. Th@s just 4 1 night) & I kept xclaimng: “Th@s all it took! Th@s all it
took!” I sppose wht I meant was th@ it dmonstrd th@ the mdcal stablishmnt in the mntl hlth area r the
dsguisd plice of societl norms. & they will kill u @ the drop of a h@ if u r a nuisance. Lobotomy is
dsguisd murdr. It wasnt so long ago but people mght say times hav chngd, nstitutns hav modernizd.
Let me tell u: human natur hasnt changd, not 4 the bettr. Only the masks change. → Thurra River
(cant b bothrd writng about it.)(5/3/04. Microsoft Word just flashed up a message saying there are so
many spelling and grammar mistakes in this document that the automatic checker is being switched off in
disgust. Nice to know you can drive a computer up the wall – it sort of pays back for all those times it does
stuff to frustrate the user for no known reason - helenz)
5/4/04 ( 3/4/04 – 12/4/04 (no. 43)). → Myrtle4d (via Carboor, Murphies Lane,
Whoroully-East (NB Rob) → Bright (autumn festval april24 to may9) → Harrietville (@ 7.7 x B5 Map
50 @ Snowline Hotel (c ‘16/2/04 to 27/2/04’ p3)) → Alpine N@ional Park (bout 20ks along the road 2
Dargo from the turnoff @ Mt Bernard (b4 u get 2 Hotham Heights) & bout 1k along the Kings Spur
Track @ D3 x 3.3 Map 65 (c 27/11/00–7/12/00)). We are in a clearing on the top of Victoria, circled
by snow gums – its very isolated and peaceful. These gums are still alive but most we’ve driven through
have died as a result of the last bushfires. It’s really dry here too – usually its soggy under-foot, John says.
Dargo is another 40ks on, and the area is called the Dargo High Plains. Checked out an op.shop at
Myrtleford – one of the most choc-a-block full of stuff I’ve seen – read the paper at the Snowline Hotel in
Harrietville on the outdoor verandah . On the Alpine Way two cops were controlling traffic round a car that
had been retrieved from the steep slope below – it was pretty battered and the bloke who had gone down
to attach it to the winch was covered in soot from the trunks of the trees burnt in the bushfires. No sign of
occupants, but everyone looked quite grim. We raided walnut trees before Myrtleford – we’ve discovered
they should be gathered while they are still in their bright green rind, as long as it is cracking open of its
own accord. The nuts are beautifully fresh (unlike last years harvest which mostly came off the ground well
after any rind had disappeared) and taste quite different. Also found a plum tree of the yellow variety but
though they were ripe and tasty, they were too soft to lug about with us, so we ate a few on the spot and
left the rest for the birds and other “free loaders”. The trees in Bright are just beginning to show their
autumn colours. At Myrtleford I looked at a property guide newspaper outside the real estate agents – a 3-
bedroomed brick veneer, air-conditioned, with a garage and carport, was going for $169k. It’s a neat,
pretty town, too. I m itchin 2 strt quotin from Sculpting in Time x TAaRnKdOrVeSyKY (First
University of Texas Press Edition © 1986 ISBN 0-292-77624-1) as he speaks 4 me though his
64
language is mired in cartesian dualisms (strange then th@ I should rcognize him). As I told
BEdNaDnAiHeAlN & smLaEdVaYr @ AIOLI in Victoria st. Iv got pages of quotes & x the time Im
finshd ther wont b any point 4 Daniel or Smadar (grape flowr) 2 read it 4 thmslvs. I was ntrojuicd 2
TAaRnKdOrVeSyKY x briLgAita & ŽVvIaRiBdLaIsS who r in lov wth him. Whn Vaidas feels low he
looks @ a Tarkovsky film again – like drinkin a magic potion. If u r 2 b ntrojuicd 2 an mportnt rtist it
should b x som1 who is in lov. The 1
st
film they showd me was ‘Stalker’ & I was abl 2 idntify wth the
prt (@ our =nox bbq Gary said he idntifies wth the profssor who has a portbl NUCULAR BOMB &
wants 2 blow up the room wher all wishs r grantd (opium of the peopl?) wheras Vaidas idntfies wth
the writer & Chris doesnt idntify wth any of the roles (being an rt connoisseur)) whch hardly evr
happns 4 me. Tarkovsky is well qualfied 2 dpict such a role as russia has a long histry of seers &
visionries not all of whom were murdrers. In fact aPlUeSxHaKnIdNer “considered that every poet,
every true artist – regardless of whether he wants to be or not – is a prophet.” “They range
themselves” says Tarkovsky “at the sites of possible or impending historical cataclysms, like
warning signs at the edge of precipices or quagmires. They define, hyperbolise and transform
the dialectical embryo of danger threatening society, and almost always become the herald of a
clash between old and new … A noble but sombre role! …Poets distinguish that danger barrier
sooner than their contemporaries and the earlier they do the closer they are to genius. And so,
often enough, they remain incomprehensible so long as the Hegelian conflict is maturing within
the womb of history. When the conflict at last takes place, their contemporaries, shaken and
moved, erect a monument to the man who gave expression, when it was still young, vital and full
of hope, to this force which brought about the conflict and which has now become the clear and
unequivocal symbol of a triumphant move forward” & he says th@ Thoreau said in Walden th@
“the works of great poets have never been read by mankind, for only great poets can read
them. They have only been read as the multitude read the stars, at most astrologically, not
astronomically. Most men have learned to cipher in order to keep accounts and not be cheated
in trade; but of reading as a noble intellectual exercise they know little or nothing; yet this only
is reading, in a high sense, not that which lulls us as a luxury and suffers the nobler faculties to
sleep the while, but what we have to stand on tiptoe to read and devote our most alert and
wakeful hours to.” (13/4/04. what an elitist wanker! I bet he spent a lot of time looking at his reflection in
Walden pond, admiring the size of his braincase – helenz) & ccording 2 TAaRnKdOrVeSyKY “The
greatness and ambiguity of art lies in not proving, not explaining and not answering questions
even when it throws up warning inscriptions like ‘Caution! Radiation! Danger! Its influence has to
do with moral and ethical upheaval. And those who remain indifferent to its emotional reasoning,
and fail to believe it, run the risk of radiation sickness … Little by little … Unbeknownst to
themselves … With a foolish smile on the broad, imperturbable face of the man convinced that
the world is as flat as a pancake and rests on three whales.” Oh yes! & H mght b ntrstd 2 learn
th@ he also says “someone …said, in order to write well you have to forget about grammar.” &
th@ Goethe said “the less accessible a work is to the intellect, the greater it is.” & th@
Tarkovsky says “The allotted function of art is not, as is often assumed, to put across ideas, to
propagate thoughts, to serve as example. The aim of art is to prepare a person for death …”
Ncidntlly Plato said the same O phlsphy. Goodnight.
12/4 /04. In my travls I hav met sevral on the road claimin 2 b JESUS (1 wth dreadlocks
in a very colourful KOMBI VAN with his name WRIT LARGE on the side). The test is if they can
per4m miracls – remov a tumor, revers a dmntia, rvive a few dead peopl. If they cant dont blieve what
they say unless it makes sens. But it occurs 2 me th@ should w meet the real 1, the 1 who grants
anythin u ask 4 in his name, would w want 2 know him? In the ‘Stalker’ whn they finally reach the
room in the ZONA wher u can get whatver u wish the profssor & the writer rfuse 2 go in bcoz it dawns
on thm they dont know what they really want. In fact the prof has 2 b prvntd from BLOWING IT UP
with his littl portabl NUCULAR . A spin on these consdr8ions is providd x LfOrVaEnCkE wth a story
he rang up 2 tell me a littl b4 w left on the trip. Whn Empedocles was rturnin from a phlosphrs fest in
65
Athens 2 his home town of AKRAGAS he found out th@ it had bn takn ovr x a tyrant. So he raisd an
rmy (he was rch) & ovrthrw the tyrant. The good citzns of AKRAGAS wer so gr8ful they askd him 2 b
their king but Empedocles (a favourite of Franks) rplied: “MEN DONT NEED KINGS.” I suppose its a
counterpoint 2 the assertion th@ sheep need shepherds (pastors). But it mayb th@ whn the wolf is
away & the pasture is hgh evn sheep dont need shepherds & thn ther also mayb times whn things fall
apart (& they will, my friends, like nevr b4) & thn evn the strongst men may fall down & BLEAT LIKE
SHEEP. →Eldorado→Beechworth (browsdinbric-a-bracstors)→Everton,Markwood (walnuts), Milawa
→ Moyhu (read ppr@pub)→T@ong(againaO).A nice walk in the redgum forest to start the day. Once
again John managed to return to the van with unerring accuracy cross country without compass. I’ve come
to expect no less. I had a close encounter of the heart–thumping kind with a large black snake, no way
sluggish after the cold night, who moved much faster than I did to avoid a head-on collision by whipping
over the bank of the creek we were walking along. Beechworth was full of people – its such a picturesque
town with magnificent 19
th
century buildings. Filched more walnuts off a tree over-hanging an orchard
fence at Markwood, despite the bloke leaning against a tree further from the fence who seemed to be
keeping an eye on us – a cunningly arranged scarecrow, but he didn’t fool us. I havnt left Melbourne
completely bhind yet. Grant, the BAD JOKE MAN, droppd in2 the BOCADILLO again (c 16/2/04 –
27/2/04 p 6) a day or 2 b4 his girlfriend was rriving from Helsinki & askd me not 2 take him off the
mailing list as I had writtn I was going 2. He says he reuses the stamps (2 x 50c) bcoz my mail
usually coms without thm being cancelld. How about th@! I write this stuff (like a kind of bleeding), H
types it (though shes working fulltime), it costs 2 produce the pieces, 4 the nvelope & stamps, & it
takes a week of ‘storming’ aftr I get home 2 get it out & thn anothr week 2 dstribute & THE BAD JOKE
MAN asks 2 b kept on me mailing list so he can steam off the stamps (15/4/04. I pay so u gain?). A
few days l8r Zorca (libarian of the czech libary O the corner from litho house in the SOKOL (hawk;
SAKALAS in litho) club in Queensberry st tells me (14/4/04. as I said) sh thinks sh mght b the only 1
who reads my stuff & sh 2 is re-usin the stamps. Sh wants 2 stay on the mailing list 2. On th@ note I
complete this ntry & the nxt piece Ill b mailing out with a final set of quotes. “However”, said
TAaRnKdOrVeSyKY, “to return to that minority audience in whom every artist unconsciously
puts his hope – they will only respond wholeheartedly to a picture when it expresses what the
author has lived and suffered. I respect them too much to want – or indeed to be able – to
deceive them: I trust in them, which is why I dare to tell what is most important and precious
to me.” & he says Van Gogh wrote in his diary “When a man expresses clearly what he wants to
say, is that strictly speaking not enough? When he is able to express his thoughts beautifully, I
won’t argue that its more pleasant to listen to him; but it doesn’t add much to the beauty of the
truth, which is beautiful in itself” & he says th@ hHeErSmSaEnSn words (in ‘The Glass Bead
Game’) “Truth has to be lived, not taught. Prepare for battle.” could serv as an epigraph 2 his
film ‘RaUnBdLrYeOyV’ (whch I havnt cn yet & in whch ncidentlly he bcomes 1 mor person 2 hav used
the famous words from I Cor 13, 1-16 “Though I speak with the tongues of men and angels ….
Whether there be prophesies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease;
whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away” x putting thm in2 the mouth of Rublyov). & 2 nd
off heres 1 th@ was said either x MALmTiHcOkUSE or x HERACLITUS the OBSCURE (Fragment
59): “The act of writing combines straight, in the whole line, and crooked, in the shape of each
letter.”
7/6/04 ( ŠIAULIAI (no. 46)). 9.10 am. Th reasn why I mght hav 2 change me room is
th@ 60 or so NATO troops r rriving 2 rplace th 50 belgians hoo r also NATO peopl hoo r here now but
dont leave till 2morrow. Th lady rceptionst hoo Im sposed 2 talk 2 normlly starts @ 9 but is late 2day
& may not b here till 11. I promisd Juozas 2 b @ his place @ 12 & not 2 hav eatn 4 he reckns he
wants 2 cook up somthn special 4 lunch & thn take me 2 c th ‘hill of †s’ in a car hell get a lend of. Im
off 2 th othr nd of th mall 2 x myslf a biro. Ncdentlly Im sure som1 could make thmslvs a good $
prmotin Čepkeliu trauktine in ozzil& (take my word 4 it as an xprt) though Im not in2 such thngs. Its a
great drop & only a m@r of promotion (same 4 Kunigaikščiu (24/3/07. nk¤ndv b·)) but mayb most
things r like th@. Also ystrdy I bought a bit of sausage @ th markt whch woz skrumptious, th tastiest
Iv eatn. Th range ther is huge & lithos r proud their foods r naturl & tasty & varied. I kan vouch th@
wth all its ethnik dversty Melbourn kannot kompare wth it. It was noticeabl though how few kustomrs
ther wer kompared 2 th numbr of stallholdrs. They kannot possbly srvive & a time will soon kum whn
66
thes famly koncerns will b 4ced out x th new konmy & th suprmrkts (th 1 near x is chokka) & kulnary
bl&nss (fake, only pparnt variety) will rein sprem as it does in oz. … bought a pen (1.20 Lt) & a bottl
of Čepkeliu 2 take 2 Juozases. Ill x som flowrs on the way. U of10 c peopl carryng flowrs here & they
r 4 sale evrywhr. Also Ill take a beautfully llustr8d booklt on beatls I brought from oz (lready gave tokn
prsnts of eukliptus & t-tree oil). I woz jokin 2 th kleann womn they mght have 2 put me ↓ cellr 2 make
way 4 NATO but they said they only put alkies ↓ ther & I said but I m 1 & they said so wer they. I note
a cheery mood in th mall 2day & ther is no evdence of th krauts – mayb they r a weeknd fnomna. As I
was walkng back just now it ccurd 2 me th@ th kult of rspekt 4 th dead (thgh it kan b msused 2
justfy rprssion (esp of what is said) & @ worst th killn of livn peopl) so much in vdence here is
a 4m of rspekt 4 yourslf & th way in whch th dead r able 2 kontnue 2 liv on. If u hav 0 els it kan
konstute your O life. So it is thrgh th dsspossssd th@ th dead r most aktivly presnt. They seek
2 liv 4evr & it may b 2 4get thm is 2 b dead or lmost dead yourslf. & so THE PRESENT IS OF
THE PAST NO LESS THAN THE PAST CONTINUES IN THE PRESENT. Iv just skord a success. I
can keep my room & 4 2night Ill b guardd x ovr 100 NATO troops. (nip) (nip). I hav 2 make my
pologies 2 th krauts of th O. Th guys I calld krauts wer th belgian (walloon speakrs) NATO guys hoo r
leavn but in civvies celbr8n their rturn home. I just saw som of thm in th lobby. Mayb its 2 much 2
xpekt bus loads of 2rsts in Šiauliai. Litho is small nough 4 thm 2 com 2 c th famous ‘hill of †s’ from
Vilnius or Kaunas on a day trip … Evry1 Iv talkd 2 in oz hoos cn it thinks th ‘hill of †s’ is a most 1drfl
xperience & a 2rst must. It meant 0 2 me. So many †s howvr ntric8ly karvd take away frm each othr &
put me in mind of obsssiv bhaviour. Id rathr xamin a singl † in a quiet spot in th 4st of whch th country
is full. Th hill has nationlst signfkance 2 lithos as th soviets had bulldozed (thos hoo did it came 2 a
bad nd Juozas says) th riginal †s but I find th marriage of rligion x nationlsm or triblsm whch is much
in vdence verywhr (flags r flown in chrchs etc ) partiklarly repugnant. 2 diffrnt 4ms of suprstition
hav a multplyer ffect whch eazly leads 2 mass lunacy. On th way back Juozas xplaind 2 me how
2 make gira or kvasa (kvass in russian) whch is sold in all th cafes here & I find 2 b a good ltrn@iv 2
beer. Wish I could get it in Melb. U soak dried pieces of rye bread wth a bit of sugr & yeast & strain
away th liquid & a day l8r its ready 2 drink. I also tasted th small berry (SPANGUOLE) whch grows in
swamps & is used 2 giv th flavour 2 the Čepkeliu trauktine. (nip). Back in Šiauliai w walkd O th walls
of th rm& centr whr th prznrs hav only 2-3 E metrs / man 2 sleep in multpl bunks 1 bov th othr. Ther r
only 3 rusty iron doors 2 of thm no biggr than rdnary hous doors → wall & no sgn of life of any kind
from nside (as u look ↑ @ tiny barrd wndows 2 rooms th@ r very hot in summr & not heatd in wintr)
or O th perimetr. Any1 passn x would think th place was ab&nd (l8r I went ↑ 14
th
floor of th hotel ←
whr u get a full view of th yards & they wer just as lifeless) awaiting dmolition. It d8s from tzarist times
& in th Smetono (24/3/07. Smetona bordd nthsaem room nUKMERGĖ wthm¤ gr&fthrz brthr) period
it was a hard labour prizn. W → rght O th primtr wall & in a lane @ th start of → I saw 1 guy throw
nothr ↓ gO wth a head lock so hard I heard their heads smack th pavemnt 2gethr wth a sicknn thud.
They both rolld on2 their sides & lay like a pair of sleeprs pparntly knockd out cold. L8r I said 2
Juozas mayb w should check if they had com 2 but he said it woznt worth it. Aftr her rrst b4 sh was
sent 2 SIBERIA whr sh died (11/8/04. but c Vilnius (no 2)!) this is th prizn in whch Juozo mum waitd
2 b sentnced & dportd. Many hav died or bn murdrd in it. Iv dvelopd a routine I like in th evnn. I walk
down th mall, x a meal (whch Ill ccumpny wth a glass of giras 2day), l8r Ill drink ½ ltr of
Kunigaikščiu, & finally walk home wth a stubby of Kvietinis. Juozas would spend all day evry day
wth me (2day he cookd šaltibarsčiai & kaldūnai 4 lunch as Janė hoo doesnt want & probbly cant a4d
2 rtire was @ work; I knockd back lunch @ his place 2morrow as I want 2 test out th eatries) but
underst&s my dsire 2 hav time 2 myslf & w greed 2 meet @ 1pm 2morrow … I hav no doubt Juozas
is a persn of xeptional kalibr wthout th slghtst nklin8n 2 b fluencd x poplr pinion. He says ther r mor
valdininkai (burocr@s) now than in soviet days & th rampnt krime (he gave som great xampls but I
dont want 2 get sens8nl) w r seein did not xist thn or prior 2 thn. Th rch wer only x 2 as rch as th
vrage persn not x 10 whch is th case now. Ther wasnt a klass of dspr8 peopl, prhaps 1/3 of th popl8n,
thrown on th skrap heap hoo kan only survive x crime (x th way th guys I said wer selln drugs wer
selln kontrab& cigretts). Howvr he would not xchange th presnt freedms 4 th fairr mnagemnt of th
soviet era bcoz hoo wants 2 b ruled x th russkies & he hopes out of this mess (dont b foold x th vneer
providd 4 2rsts in Kaunas, Vilnius, Nida etc.) a bettr future will emerge but not in his lifetime. I askd
him hoo killd th jews, a topik I dont normlly bring up bcoz I sens its a no go E or th@ set,
poltkally korrekt rsponses will b givn. (eg 2 say as th Šiauliai brochure did th@ somthn xists whn it
so bviously doesnt is = 2 dnyin it was dstroyd ie dnyin th evnt (11/8/04 th dskussion of th ssue x
Alfonsas Eidintas in Jews Lithuanians and the Holocaust is outst&n)). He says th@ th
67
strata of society whch is normly held in check but is x nature ready 2 pillage, plundr & murdr
but do nothn of use wer mpowrd x th turmoil of th times. They had their momnt. (the NKVD &
th govnn bodies hoom most lithos (but Juozas did not make th point nor has my mum) ccused of
konsstn mainly of jwsh kollbor8rs & of bein th terrorg8rs had left @ th last momnt). L8r th very same
sluoksnys (strata) (hoo did th murdrn (no doubt calln thmslvs partizans whch is a holy word in litho))
wer put → positions of powr x th soviet regime (11/8/04. Juozas said). I suppose th next ? (11/8/04.
xtremely well nswrd x Eidintas) is what wer th mekaniks x whch th murdrs wer legitmizd & specifklly
drektd 2 murdr th nnocent. 1 sggstion x Juozas was they don it 2 steal their possssions. I know furthr
parts of th nswrs myslf (14/8/04. bcoz w r = w kan only xamn ← a dstance 4 th dffrnces (ie
nvirnmntl, kultrl, & hstorik Ostances) & if w look from 2 close verythn bkums nkomprhnsbl as
w r xamnn ourslvs wth an eye whch kannot view itslf – close up ther r no nswrs) but they
nvolve a dtaild histry of th kind whch would bor most of my few readrs so I ntnd 2 leav it @ th@. Th
day aftr 2morrow Im c@chng th 9am train 4 Vilnius (...a, …o,…e). Iv had a great idea – 2morrow Im
goin 2 get a small bottl of Čepkeliu trauktinė 4 th train trip so I kan akt like an authntik litho.
14/6 /04 ( Vilnius 1 (no. 47)). Ftr I stoppd writin I was nvstg8n th UŽUPIO E whn I kame
2 a skool whch was bein used as a polln centr 4 th lektion of th prezdnt & of th litho rprsnt@ivs 2 th
EU parlmnt. I had bn saddnd x th many bvious lkies & derros (russian speakrs mostly) goin thrgh
dumpr bins (just as in Kaunas & now th@ my @ntion has bn drawn 2 thm (& old womn) I m cing thm
verywhr & in th side streets near x) but whn I was told I kould vote wthout havn rgistrd as long as I
brought my litho passprt I raced ← 2 get it from the skurity box coz I woz very xited @ bein a ropian.
Ftr all th reazn I had found it so easy 2 talk 2 th Thompsons (he had told me if hed bn a
kountrtellgnce persn he would hav had me medi8ly rstd (28/8/04. no doubt kept in prizn ndfnitly
dprived of rghts or rprznt8n or possblty of provn me nnocence as Keelty & HoWARd would like 2 b
abl 2 do here (18/7/07. thprkts vgilt x rsoe aeshn woz prfktd x STALIN. Vr1 hoohd ' ¯¯ → rchrjd ·
woz rmmbrov . Re Haneef ♪ th@ STALIN hd rdoktrz plot 2) spcially wth muslms as is don in th US
of A) as a SPY bcoz ther was no such produkt as Hennessy whsky as I had kalld th drop Mr Liepa
had brought on th Tupolev airplane on th Aeroflot flght ← Moscow → Riga (30/8/04. c Melbourne →
Kaunas p 2)) & 2 th studnts (Randy Willemsen / Weth. Schuurmans – laan 419 / 5321 mps –
Hertogenbosch / The Netherlands ; & Philippe Tomovski / Fritz-Konzertstrasse 6 /6020 – Innsbruck /
Austria) was bcoz of our shared euro kultura & st&rd of livn (they had not kum here 2 c th old town
whch 4 thm was rdnary x their st&rds & they had dskovrd ftr w had prtd @ 2am th@ th nght life shut
down whras Riga is a 24 hour (& x 2 in size) city) but 2 c 4 thmslvs th backwrdnss of th newst eastrn
mmbrs of th EU). They had srfaced x then & w ← 2gthr 2 w@ch me kast my vote. 4 prsdnt I votd 4 th
guy hoo had ngoti8d lithos ntry → union & 4 th euro parlmnt I votd 4 L&sbergis & th n@ionlsts only
koz I had met KAaRlAgZiIsA & knew othr relos of his in Melbourn. Then w 8 lunch on th vranda of th
fancy rstrant ovrlookn th park whr w wer freezn like on a mdwntr day in Melbourn. Then I took thm 2
th muzeum as promsd. Here is th blurb they h& out : “Museum of Genocide Victims (former
KGB headquarters and prison) / The museum of Genocide Victims is a unique museum in
the Baltic states. It was established in the former KGB headquarters and prison in 1992,
a year after the collapse of the Soviet Union, when the KGB secret police moved out of
the building. Since the first Soviet invasion of 1940, this building had been occupied by
the USSR’s repressive institutions. They planned and carried out mass deportations and
arrests, persecution of political opponents and suppression of the anti-Soviet resistance.
/ Our museum presents the Soviet repression of 1940 -1988. Visitors will discover this
tragic period of Lithuanian history in our exhibitions, which are situated in the KGB
prison cells, the cell of executions and in the room of the MGB (KGB) prison assistant
manager. / Every year, we show new exhibitions and prepare new mobile exhibitions
reflecting the history of the Soviet-occupied Lithuania. / We kindly invite you to visit our
museum! / Address: Aulu 2a, Lt-2001 Vilnius, Lithuania / Tel : (+370 5 )249 62 64 / email:
muziejus@genocid.lt / www.travel.lt / www.genocid.lt / www.muziejai.lt ” & a quote from a
small brochure they gave: “Between 1940 and 1958 the Soviets imprisoned over 200,000
people. Many of them were disabled or died in prisons under the strain of hard labour,
starvation, exhaustion or disease. Another 132,000 inhabitants of Lithuania were
deported; over 20,000 were killed during the resistance struggle in the post-war years;
over 5,000 of helpless people were murdered and over 1,000 sentenced to death.” Th
muzeum had klosed @ 3 & w had rrived @ 5 but th kleanrs & 1 senior lady wer ther & they bnt ovr
68
backwds 2 b of hlp (eg nlockd th xkution room) bkoz they wer mghtly mpressd x th fakt I had kum 2 c
th foto of Jonas Žemaitis from my mums famly lbum. I know now why I kannot stop myslf frm kryng
ther. Its bkoz th cells, like th soundproofd & paddd cell wth th straight-jackt (built in th 1970s
but prznrs rmmbr th@ ther wer 5 earlier) & th falln ↓ freezn watr cells (a singl block of stone
st&n bov wtr lvl would hav workd just as well but this was a specially kraftd dais) & th room
whr th troika sat nxt 2 th small xkution room (lined wth wood riginlly 2 prvnt rikochet & th seat
was on a grille so th blood kould b hosed away frm th stone floor below) & th littl room 4
stackn korpses, wer karefuly dsignd & burokr@ik procedures & signd othoriz8ns & pprovals
& financial allok8ns would hav had 2 b adherd 2. Th@ it was don knowngly wth ntnt x peopl
like u & me is why it is ndigestbl. It was valuabl 4 us 2 b let 2 1dr free 2 c it x ourslvs in silence
nstead of wth mobs of 2rsts (oohn & aahn) & yackn guides as I had cn it. Th ladies nsistd on givn me
2 books as mmntoes 2 take home 2 giv 2 my mum (or th litho libary in Melb. I suggstd & I promisd Id
brng thm back but they wgh like □□ & I hav 2 much wght lready) but now I realize no1 would read thm
so Ill try 2 find som1 here 2 giv thm 2 (eg th Kabailas). They r The Chronicle of the Church in
Lithuania (underground journal of human rights violations) Vol. 1. Nos 1-9, 1972-74 &
The Chronicle …. Vol. 6. Nos 40-49, 1979-81. Me & th studnts partd outside th muzeum me → a
small bottle of Čepkeliu (flask size) & them → c@ch their bus 2 Riga. L8r whn I was kumn back I
w@chd a dtachmnt of O 50 soldiers & som girls prakticin 4 a cermny @ a small PAMINKLAS 4 thos
hoo had perishd near x. Th@ mght b it 4 2day as I know ther is a mmorial gathrn of srvivors ←
SIBERIA @ th rgniz8ns othr buildn not far frm here. Its @ 5pm & I mght →. In th evnn I 1drd th
streets of old town gain & somwhr O th kornr of Dominikonu & Gaono g. an ldrly koupl all x thmslvs
wer lookn @ a buildn. They @raktd my notice bkoz though from ovrseas they lookd diffrnt 2 th vrage
gaggl type 2rst. They lookd stunnd & their faces wer kreasd wth dspair. L8r I → in a near x street
whch was mpty xept 4 2 teenage kids. 1 of thm startd som louzy singn (most of thm sing & talk in
russian) in prtence @ buskn & th othr followd me a long way pleadn very persistntly (just short of
ggresiv) 4 money 4 muzikians. Th ntrstn thng is he was askn in louzee litho as if he had pickd me 2 b
1 b4 I had said a word. L8r gain in th KAVINE whr I was fnishn th nght wth th reglar fried bread & a
beer KRISTINA IŠ VILNIAUS (ntrojuicd me 2 BRENDIS ‘ALITA’ (a litho made br&y) whch I drank 1
glass of & it was good & sh drank sevrl koz sh drank fast & I bought thm) said th diffrnce btween
Vilnius & Kaunas is th@ 4 xampl if a group of 10 r walkn 2gethr in Vilnius & 1 is a russian speakr wth
no litho they all talk russian but in Kaunas th othr 9 will all talk litho thgh they know russian just as
well as here but they h8 thm. Kristina hoo had bn readn (24/8/04 H left th follown note & poem on th
tabl 4 me: “Dear John, (paragraph) I have gone to do a few things at Northlands (buy a bra, claim on a
Medicare bill) before seeing Doig at 3 pm. I didn’t want to wake you (Sleep knits up the ravelled sleeve of
care) so leave a message on my mobile or on home voicemail if you need to be picked up (25/8/04. You
already had been, it seems. helh&z) & what your plans are. (paragraph) The poem is a tribute to your not-
so-vanishing sexuality & to your status as a phlosphr (paragraph) (Kristina iš Vilniaus watch out!!) ♥ H.”
Poem: “I could be a post / modern pro / & specialize in / avant garde sex / with intellectuals // For foreplay / I
could tit / illate your Aristotle / & play with your Plato / Socra / Tes you / I would Machiavelli / happy fella. //
Then for the main event / When your Heidegger was / Quivering / You could explore my / Nietzche / Lick my
/ Kant / Foucault me / To the rhythm: // Derrid, Derrid, Derrid / Ah ……..!! (with apologies to the phlosphers.
helenz 2/8/04.)” (25/8/04. u left out Wittgenstein (28/8/04. The last line could have been: That’ll be 100
Wittgensteins (cash, no cheques thanks) – helh&z))) 4 a long time @ th bar had said sh was kurious O
what it was th@ I woz readn all th time & I said it woz my own writin & I burbld on as I m nklind 2 do
whn spruikn my stuff. I found her an ntellgent & n4m@v persn & not nutraktiv. Sh told me mor O th
prizn konditions whch konfirmd what Juozas had said. Most of th rurl 1s d8 from tzarist days & womn
nm8s hav it just as bad & evry1 kums out of thm wors than whn thy went in. Sh said u kldnt walk †
kuntry koz youd certnly b knockd out x an mpovrshd drunk. Sh said sh votd 4 Prunskiene koz shs a
womn. Sh pressd me wth offrs of rent @ ½ of what Im payn. Sh said th girls @ th bar etc. (heaps of
thm & all pretty) hoo wer ltern8n btween litho & russian but not polsh only get 400 Lt / mnth. Sh
xplaind how th gypsies hav managd 2 kornr th drug markt. I askd her if sh wantd 2 go ovrcs like so
many othrs but sh ddnt. Sh said sh had bn in holl& & th 1
st
weeks sh stood bhind th wndow kryin 2 b
back but whn her visa ran out sh kried bkoz sh had 2 leav. Then sh offrd her persnl services
(NORĖTUM KAD PARODIČIAU KA AŠ DAUGIAU TURIU?). I thankd her 4 th genrous offr & bought
th br&ies nstead x way of kompns8n 4 her xllnt kumpny (24/8/04 here is 1 of th poems Rita (c ‘→
(no 2)’) gave me 2 pass → LfOrVaFnCkE. Th titl is Lust (8/4/07. rlsoe tht¤tlv n x Elfriede
Jelinek ¤ nÆlv munthsgoe): “in his umbra vagabond / for lucid ears / her image – loyal /
crux / swift – sovereign / again”. I think it is meant 2 b read as a sound-poem.) & friendshp 2 an
69
old CODger. It ccurs 2 me how dangrous 2 th wallt it kould hav bn if me & th studnts had kceptd th
urgins of th barmn & th nice lady whn w had blundrd → BORDELLO 2 play som kind of game whr
they had a chess/checkers board on th bar wth tiny čerkas (glasss 4 vodka etc?) lined up in th 2x2
rows @ opp nds of th board. They had urged us sevrl times 2 take th board wth us → nothr 1 of th
cellr rooms but non of us knew how 2 play chess or checkrs. Magine wht mght happn if u did play it &
then u paid wth a visa card! I also realize now th@ th cellrs ↓ @ tiFANNY (24/3/07. noelongrgssts.
Shut ↓?) pub whr I had got prmission from th mpteen skurity guys (they r verywhr – somtimes 3 @ a
singl ATM in th evnn) 2 show th studnts O & whr u hav 2 take your koat off & leav it in th kloakrm but
w wer llowd 2 karry ours hung ovr our rms & ddnt hav 2 pay th 10 Lt 2 → 4 a lookc is a pick up joint
(24/8/04. a n@ural mstake 4 me 2 make as I hav nevr bn 2 a disko). I spose u then ngoci8 wth th
ladies (they all lookd very pretty & not zonkd out as u c in St Kilda) or mayb ther r doors w ddnt notice
→ futhr hiddn cellr rooms. But I kant work out why u hav 2 leav your jackt in th kloak room? (Vaidas
reckns your not llowd 2 → strip show in Melbourne in shorts & s&ls) Nndoubtdly ther r many mor
sekrts here, cellrs bhind othr cellrs or deepr down othr still narrowr & steepr stairkases …..Read th
ppr lesurly (I m 4gettn how 2 spell) ovr a lunch of zeppelinai (got 2 strt eatn som fruit & vegies or Ill
get beri-beri) @ th same place in Gaono g. whr I 8 zepplins th last time. Iv got 2 get mor ordr → my
days b4 I lose grip on whr, whn & how. Tippd a girl buskr playn a rkordr koz sh was so good. Walkd in
th park & ↑ Pilies Kalnas whch has GEDIMINO BOKŠTA on it. A friend of Brigita from th ‘Visi’ folk
groop hoom I met th day w wer here 4 th song festval (c Melbourne → Kaunas p 7) kalld out from
a kar wndow. He was 1drn if Vaidas was in town but I ddnt know. Kame † a small chapl whch kkordn
2 th map mght b kalld Šv Kryžiaus (bonifratru) bažnyčia (chrch) whch had a virgn & child pikture ovr
th altr nstead of th usual 1 of krist on th †. Got 2 th evnt kmmmr8n th srvivers from SIBIRAS. It was a
small evnt in a E. Most peopl in an audience of 200 or so wer srvivers or chldrn of srvivers or of
parnts hoo had died ther. It knsistd lmost ntirely of singn of nd of 19
th
centry (& l8r) songs x O 20
peopl drssd in kostume (whch I ddnt mind 4 this kkasion) led x Povilionienė. I knew many of th songs
& joind in as also did th audience as th sssion prgrssd. L&sbrgis th guy hoos party I had votd 4 woz
ther & I lent ovr & said I knew his sistr in Melbourn & KAaRlAgZiIsJA. Earlier I had ch@d 2 1 of th
singrs in th group hoo told me O edŽvIaŽrYdSas hoo has bn ridin O th O on a bike 4 years & has just
publshd a book of his travls. But Iv got 2 get rid of books not get mor of thm & anyway its in litho.
Gettn teary is bkomn a habt & I felt guilty I st& 2 th side & back in a STRATEGIK spot like a SPY so I
kan w@ch th audience w@chn th evnt. Peopl r whr they r in spite of thmslvs (shaped x large
4ces) & they r fully ther so their faces & ntire bodies r 4md x their Ostances whch I kannot
possbly magine & I hav th luxury of st&n in th wings & spoutn me ideas & passn kommnt.
Whn I got back th doormn said Vaidas had kum lookn 4 me O 4 hours earlier & said hed b back. I m
very tired. 2morrow Ill mail what Iv writtn ovr th week 2 H & kontakt my KABAILA relos (th ‘Birds’ hav
just rrived)….. W had a drink (ŽVIRBLIS (famly name of Miglė, Brigita, & Vaidas) means sparrow
(Passer domesticus) in litho) & wev greed Ill b @ their SODYBA in Rimeisiu kaimas (village) thursdy
nxt week. It givs me a week in whch 2 touch base wth my Vilnius relos & a good spot @ whch 2 nd
off a piece of writn.
21/6 /04 ( Vilnius (no. 2) ( no.48)). Im racin thrgh this ntry az Im due @ th Kabailas @
6pm . Thr woz nuthr ncidnt nstg8d x a kranky old man whn I woz havn breakfst @ th kavine I threw th
ppr ball @ th yank in. Sum kids wer yackn way (not nearly as loud az th yank had bn) & a litho guy
eatn @ th wndow told thm 2 w@ch their lnguage & they quietnd rght down. L8r I askd him whthr he
had bjektd 2 th use of th word BLAT whch you hear all th time & kant work out th meann of koz it
kkurs in any kontxt. It provd 2 b th kase & he xplaind it woz sailors slang but I lready knew it means
loose womn or pro. Its used 4 mphsis not az strong az FUCK but strongr than MERDE (9/9/04. I woz
l8r krrktd – it is fully az strong az fuck) in frnch. Whn he had left I skd th yng guys why they had
quietnd down whn told x sum1 a few tabls way ie. woz he an mportnt persn. They sed it woz bkoz he
woz an INTELEKTUALAS. How do u know I skd? But they kouldnt nswr. Woz he in th role of a senior
citzn or parnt? I sggsted & they greed.1 of thm sed he hadnt gon krook on thm but just skd. L8r az I
woz sheltrn from a humdingr of a thundrstorm (like a summr 1 in oz) I talkd 2 2 womn (lezbos?) &
they turnd out 2 b from the gold koast in Queensl& of oz. I gave thm my writn. Got thrgh 2 H @ 3.30
(10.30 oz time). Shs goin 2 Townsville @ th nd of nxt week 4 th 2 weeks of th skool holdays wth
Jenny. I passd on th rgards Laima sed 2 pass on ystrdy. H had bn 2 Fed E wth Ben & had koffee &
gon thrgh th gallry & whn they got home Dan kookd thm a meal. Shs gettn chummy wth sum of th
talian guys @ th Errol & KcOoTnZAgBeAoSrIgSe (9/9/04. met him on me brthdy (19/8) @ Borders in
70
Lygon st. wth a suitkase full of kopies of his new book on th deadly threat 2 civliz8n posed by terrrsm
(bom xploded out front of oz mbassy in Jakarta 2day) he is tryin 2 flog. But u nvr gave me a
komplmntry kopy thght I giv u my stuff free so I kant say nuthn good O it 2 all me readrs.) sends his
rgards 2 me. Sh sez Eglė has met a ŽItŽoYmS from canada (Iv cn his name on th ntrnet) hoo is viztn
lithol& O now & has givn him th Kabailas +rss. Nuthr guy I giv my stuff 2 @ th Errol, Dave (an x
broker) told her 2 tell me 2 b kareful. I sggestd H take her long srvice leav in July/August (9/9/04.
whch shs doin) nxt year so w kan b sure of summr weathr & thn rtire so w kan travl mor. Id lov 2 spnd
munths in th Kimbrlies or th tropkal Queensl& koast etc. etc. – in fakt most oz wintrs whn not here. H
haz lready typed th Melbourne → Kaunas piece so sh knows what Im up 2 & should get th nxt 1 b4
sh → Townsville. Melbourne → Kaunas is O 8000 words whch means so far Iv writtn O 30000 all
2gthr. Sh woz 1drn how I find time 4 it in btween all th drinkn – th nswr iz I do it @ th same time. Im
off 2 th Kabailas 4 t. 4got 2 say earlier H said 2 x2 th amount I giv th beggrs so Im lso givn from
her….
28/6 /04 ( → (no. 1) (no.49)). Im in th Metropolis (c Melbourne → Kaunas p 2) gain. I
skd 4 room 206 but th bath in it iz not drainn (will b fixd 2day) so I got 306 on th 3
rd
floor & it 2 haz a
small balkony ovrlookn th street az I had askd 4. U kould step † 2 th nghbrin balkonies if u wer brave
so Im keepn th window/door shut while Im out az I m now writin @ a mor kum4tabl tabl in a foyer E
on th 2
nd
floor. 306 iz bettr than 206 az bein hghr its a bit furthr from th noiz of th street. It haz 2
piktures 1 bov each bed whch u kould dskribe az rurl abstrkts, a ‘Lukon’ br& TV whch I think only gets
1 channl & must b very old az its in an mazinly rn8 woodn kasing, & a toilt of a dzgn th@s new 2 me
– th outlt iz @ th front nd of th basin ppsit 2 th sual & u krap ↓ a dish size dprssion whr it sits az if 4
nspktion hgh & dry (yes, th charkoal & Brigitas vrious brews did work) ntil u flush it → slightly raizd
edge wth a gush of watr from th back ↓→ outlt @ th frunt. I lso shaved & showrd. Ystrdy I h&d ovr a
few items of klothin 2 b washd. W left Rimeisei @ 4.00 & drove thrgh Ukmergė wstwrds 2 check out
@ Vaidases sggstion my fathrs place of orign (TĖVIŠKE). Thr r 3 lok8ns givn in hiz passprt ssued
whn he woz a yng man (19 I think so ssued O 1930 but Im writin from mmry) & whch I uzed 2 get my
litho (& hence EU) passprt since I woznt abl 2 uze my own brth certfik8 bkoz I woz born a year 2 l8 in
41 whn lithol& woz lready kkupied. They r hiz place of rzdence (Žeimei (11/10/04. not 2 b knfuzed wth
a town of simlar name: ‘Žeimiai’ 2 th southwest kloser 2 Kėdainiai) but rfrrd 2 az Žeimiu kaimas), hiz
brth place (Siesikai) & th region of rzdnce (or ssue of passprt?) (Deltuvos rajonas). W drove thrgh
Deltuva only 8 or so ks out of Ukmergė & I woz struck x th rdrlnss of th town & th well tendd flowr &
vegie gardns whr all vailabl E woz uzed 4 kultv8n. Uthr vllages & small towns wer =y tidy but in a
lush ovrgrown way whch may b dffrnt, 4 all I know, 2 wstrn urop. Th rolln kuntryside of vvid thick
pasture ntrsprsd wth dciduous woods whch probbly ndk8d swampy Es lookd richr than th kuntry 2 th
east of Ukmergė whr th Birds hav their sodyba. W stoppd @ th genrl stor @ Siesikai & I bought a
stubby of beer whch turnd out 2 b in a plastk kontainr whch I knockd ovr & managed 2 pour ovr meslf.
Vaidas got a towl from th kar & a group kollektd @ th ntrance of th shop (typkal of a 1 stor town) jokn
wth each uthr & xplainn 2 me thr woz nly 1 haus ownd x a ŽIŽYS in th E & he woz way. I felt @ eaz
az if I woz mung simlr peopl I meet in rmote parts of australia. 1 sed th@ in my fathrs days thr would
nly hav bn 2 or 3 hauses here (4/10/04. not so: c Melbourne → Kaunas p 6 & Vilnius →
Melbourne). Most hadnt heard of Žeimei thgh it woz nly O 16 ks → x road (mayb nly 10 in a drekt →
). Az w wer drivin thr Vaidas noted th kuntryside woz mor densly settld. W wer nvr out of view of @
least svrl vienkiemiai. I woz thinkn th@ ½ my gentik programmn kame from a lush green kuntry az
ppsit az u kould get 2 th kind of l&skapes I favour in australia. I thght my fathr would hav known thes
fields & swampy 4sts well az he luvd 2 → O th rurl kuntryside whn I woz a kid & it iz from him th@ I
hav nheritd an ntrst 4 naturl dtail. If I had livd here I would hav → evry lane, drainage channl, woodl&
till I knew it bettr than any of my nghbrs. I would hav found th hiddn places & th nmals whch find shltr
in thm. Žeimei (4/10/04. I had completely forgotten I had been there myself 64 years ago riding
about in my 7 months pregnant mothers belly. After my father deserted the soviet army by
slipping away into the forest my grandfather Juozapas Žižys arrived at the dacha in Pivonijos
šilas (ystrdy rvo I cght up wth Vaidas @ his stall opp th kulturl centr (spottd GEORGE –
KcOoTnZABASIS near x peddln hiz book Unveiling The War Against Terror – Fight Right War
Or Lose The Right To Exist - © Con George-Kotzabasis. May 9
th
2004. ISBN: 0-646-43712-7
whch kan lso b bght @ Readings in Carlton hoo fnally gave me a kmplmntry kopy (c Vilnius (no. 2)
p 9)) & he sed it woz not th same 4st w had bn mushroomn in but it woz no dffrnt in ppearnce. He
knows it well az hiz mum kums from near x) by horse and cart and took us to the house in
71
Žeimei. For more detail read the end of the first and the beginning of the second chapters in my
mums book Elena’s Journey x Helen Jonaitis © Text 1997 ISBN 1-875847-50-2 which I think is
still in print.) woz a dsppointmnt. Th rginal KAIMAS woz dstroyd whn th peat diggns wer opnd & th
haus my fathr had paintd in watr kolours from a foto & rmmbrd wth a wordless yearnn whch evn az a
turblnt yth prkkupied wth my own ntnsties I lwayz sensd iz gon. Th dsertd peat diggngs wer turnd in2
fish breedng ponds & l8r in2 4st. W had stoppd so I kould ask an old kodger on a bike if he knew of
any ŽIŽIAI (plural of ŽIŽYS) in th town (ugly soviet style 2 or 3 (kant rmmbr az I woz in a bit of a fog)
story □s of units) & he 4 thr wer 4 or so famlies x th name & x th time w had bght a beer @ th rgl8n
stor/bar O th kornr an Albertas ŽIŽYS had m@rialized. I rmarkd th@ w had th same ntials (A Ž) &
shook his h& @ least x 3 while he woz tryin 2 talk us in2 vzitn hiz mum hoo knew th ŽIŽIAI hoo had
gon 2 KAUNAS bkoz he & his mum livd drektly † (thr had bn a large † in front of th haus my fathr had
paintd) ← whr their haus had bn. Vaidas was keen 2 → & it would hav bn a waste of time 2 just barge
in 4 10 minuts & what kould an old womn say O my relos th@ would hav ntrstd me so w → but not b4
Albertas ŽIŽYS kalld out 2 us 2 ask 4 1½ Lt. Since I woz in a fog & th 1
st
koin whch kame 2 h& woz 5
Lt I gave it 2 him. He probbly knew I wldnt b back & x askn 4 th muny nsured it. Our xchange iz
dquatly dskribed x th numbrs nvolvd. W drove thrgh Deltuva gain whr w sor th shell of a brick chrch
wth a stork (my fathr had nevr mntiond storks but th dstrikt iz full of thm. Kkordn 2 BORGES th
KORAN duznt mntion KAMLZ (but th bibl sez sumthn O a kaml & th eye of a needl) 1ce) on a nest on
th wall & th nterior whch woz opn 2 th sky woz full of flowrs. I got my kamra out 4 th 1
st
time & Brigita
took a few pktures of me (stubby in h&) & Vaidas (hoo sed it waz like a scene ← a Tarkovski film) in
head hgh flowrn grasss ntil a rain storm sent us runnn → kar & w drove → KAUNAS wthout furthr
stops …. 1drd O in th mrkt x th main railway st8n. Gypsy womn wer selln cigretts & I heard a guy sk 1
whr 2 get a mobile fone. I listnd 2 thm talkn tryin 2 guage th muzik of th lnguage but kouldnt stay az
they montor very1. Had 1 of my s&ls fixt 4 3 Lt. Rang Juozas & Egle (his dghtr) but neithr fone nswrd.
Ftr Vilnius Im chrchd out. I hav not viztd a singl mzeum voluntry since Iv bn in litho – I hav no ntrst in
how peopl strukture their past (4/10/04. az my nkln8n iz 2 d-knstrukt (11/10/04. 2daze Age (p8) rports
th death of JACQUES DERRIDA from pankreatik kancr @ th age of 74. Kkordn 2 th rtkl he “ …
argued that the traditional way we read texts makes a number of false assumptions and
that they have multiple meanings that even their authors may not have understood. His
thinking gave rise to the school of deconstruction, a method of analysis that has been
applied to literature, linguistics, philosophy, law and arch-itecture … but was described
by critics as nihilistic … he sought to find the free movement which lies at the root of all
thinking … unavoidable tensions between the ideals of clarity and coherence that
govern philosophy. He was seen as the inheritor of “anti-philosophy” … with
predecessors such as Sigmund Freud, Friedrich Nietzsche and Martin Heidegger.”)). 8
dlcious kbbage rolls wth spuds & follwd up wth fried bread su česnakais (wth kloves of grlk) while
drnkn 2 mažus (littl ie 300 mls) of red beer 4 15 Lt. Th ssue of whch beggrs 2 giv muny 2
(luminium (ie 1c, 2c, 5c ) koins hav 2 b givn way koz theyr a nuisance & az good az worthlss; I
giv b4 I hav a meal 2 aid me dgestion) iz lwayz prznt. Sum get O it x don8n (eg 10%) 2 a rptabl
charty whch makes dskrmn8ns based on need but th@ takes away th rquiremnt 4 u 2
dskrmn8 (whch iz diffkult) or evn notice th needy in th streets. X rektn barriers u kontrbute 2
th problm. Prhaps whn w giv w gain mor than they. Sor brown squirrls in th park & they wer tiny. I
rmmbr how thrilld I woz whn I sor thm az a kid in germny. (nip) Čepkeliu trauktynė iz great. (nip). M
cng mor of th features (Hitler knew Stalin woznt jwsh from th lobes of his ears) of litho peopl I know in
Melbourn xmplfied here in Kaunas than I did in Vilnius whch makes sens az most litho migrnts 2 oz
kame from here. Jesus its a good drop. 5.40. M O 2 take a SIESTA ….
5/7/04. I m in a unit 1 (sharin bthrm, toilt, kitchn & fone in the pssgeway wth unit 2) of a E
of 4 units @ Kumeliu 9. 15-4 (6/10/04. c Melbourne → Kaunas kuvr top left). Like th place in Preila
verythn lmost duznt work but I workd out how 2 turn th watr off & lso how 2 stop th watr runnn ↓ th
toilt bowl so th cistrn kan fill up. Th soundproofn in th buildn is nill. I slept littl or not @ all (thgh it woz
quiet durin th nght) & dreamt th@ a friend had noticed I woz gettn git8d & rr@k & dvized me 2 take
sum sleepn pills 2nght – so I will. 2 → my room I → thrgh an rchway → 1 of thos komplk8d Es Iv bn
writin O (c Melbourne → Kaunas p 8 & Vilnius (no 2) p 4). Im in th old town only 100 yds frm
th wall of th Šv apaštalu Petro ir Pauliaus (PETER & PAUL) arkikatedra – bazilika whch iz much mor
2 my taste than th arkikatedra – bazilika in Vilnius & lwayz haz 3 or 4 beggrs @ th main ntrance. It is
markd 1 on th piktur map on th frunt kuvr (6/10/04. uzed th map 4 frunt kuvr of Melbourne →
72
Kaunas nsted) of this piece → whch I m makn th finl ntry. I hav a chance in thes 2 days 2 fotokopy it
& send it off wth th dskrption of th trip ↑ th Nemunas (Niemen) → Kaunas (Kauen, Kovno). Th boat
woz kalld th Deima (named ftr a rivr in th Kaliningrad Oblast (russia)) & it iz 22 metrs long, draws 2
metrs, kan seat 40 but had 26 passngers (I paid 59 Lt) 6 of hoom wer dsboardd in an nscheduled
stop @ Jurbarkas (th 2
nd
biggst town on th Nemunas in lithol&) whr sum branchs whch had kaught
ndr th hull wer kleard way. Th kaptn Jonas (my 2
nd
name in litho) livs near DEVINTO FORTO (9
th
4t)
whr Vaidas had workd on th PAMINKLAS 4 a kupl of years (c ‘February 24’ p 5). I s@ nxt 2 him in
th othr seat in th kabn lmost th ntire 7½ hour journy (thr used 2 b 2 “rockets” doin th trip in 4 hours but
they wer sold 2 pol&) 4 a great view of th kuntryside & an nsght in2 how th boat opr8s. Th Deima woz
built in 78 & durin th trip th toilt malfunktiond so it ddnt ↓ but gurgld ↑ nsted in an nxpektd hkkup but
b4 th nd of th trip it had bn fixd; th radio stoppd workn so Jonas woznt abl 2 radio ahead 2 th dredges
workn on deepnn th rivr channl 2 say th@ he woz kumn so he uzed a mobile fone whch meant steern
wth 1 h& in a strong kurrnt az he dialld th numbr; th mike konkd out @ th same time az th radio; th
genr8r woznt chargin nuff but thn rghtd itslf. W pickd up a ko-workr of Jonas, Juozas, hoo stood (thgh
I fferd my seat) in th doorway leann → kabn & took ovr th steern 4 while whn Jonas stood in th
doorway. W ch@d 4 much of th trip. Juozas haz 2 kids hoo hav bn in th US 4 3 yrs now 1 of hoom
married a yank grl ftr a yr & haz a 1 yr old kid. He spnds time in th US & haz workd on ships on Lake
Michigan (az big az th BALTIKA he sez). Hez dun juoda (black) darba (work) (a dog ↓ (Im on th 2
nd
floor) in th E (they ekko & u hear evry kar kum & go & kar radios) haz gon bzerk) in London (faktries),
spain (fruit pikn whr lithos find it tuff koz of th heat) & lswhr. He skd many precise ?s O oz O pnsion
r8s, how long it takes 2 qualfy (a chrch bell is On – its 9 am) 4 medkls, how tuff r they on llegls. I sed
its not worth it if your llegl koz u get xploitd but he knew th@. I drank 100 of BOBELINE (simlar 2
Čepkeliu) & a 50 of STARKA (43% alk) just 2 tst thm out & this mornn I checkd my tongue 2 c if it iz
furry & it iz. 4 O ½ th trip th Nemunas iz th bordr btween RUSSIA & lithol&. On th russian (south) side
of th rivr w passd SOVIETSK (TILŽĖ in litho; TILSIT in germn) & NIEMAN (RAGAINĖ in litho;
RAGNIT in germn). In Nieman thr iz a huge drelikt faktry komplx belchn smoke & pourn kemkl
pollutnts → th Nemunas. Th litho faktries whch used 2 pllute th rivr hav klozed they sed az Vaidas
had sed sum days earlier. I heard Jonas say DAVAI (in litho fonetik rus) @ th nd of a sntnce on th
mobile & I skd him 2 xplain th meann of it but he (mayb he woz lso shamed 4 havn bn kaught out
mixn rus → hiz litho) had trubl klarifyin it. He sed it means DUOK (give) in litho but mayb it means ‘giv
it 2 me’ az u would say in nglsh slang. Peopl hav trubl xplainn rus slang 2 me (they klaim it haz uneek
qualties) & I now rkognize th@ BLAT (c Vilnius (no 2) p 9) iz just az mf@k az FUCK. Lithos (& esp
Brigita) of10 say SIAUBAS or NU SIAUBAS whch trnsl8s → HORROR but iz not horrbl @ all & iz nly
mildly mf@k. I m partkulry ntrstd in th lnguage of mfasiz & th nflektions & gestures th@
kkumpny it. rEaIiMmOuNnTdAaSs reckns BLAT kannt b found in a rus dikshnry (24/3/07. norkn
FUCK nm¤ Shorter Oxford). @ 1
st
thr woznt much 2 c az in th delta kuntry thck brush grows → th
banks but from Jurbarkas → (passd RAMBINO KALNAS whch iz th hghst in litho @ a few 00 metrs
hgh) th s&y banks & sOn kuntry bkame pikturesk. Th rivr woz glassy & wider than th Murray. (I hear
sum1 drilln!) Thr wer anglrs all long th way sum st&n in th watr waist deep in rubbr ovralls. W passd
small towns huggn th bank wth th chrch lwayz built on th hghst gO so u sor th spires ovr treetops long
b4 u sor th town. On glassy watr th kkassionl flock of ½ doz swans (Cygnus olor or Cygnus
cygnus) kan look vry beautful (12/7/07. fr mor komon h· thnn orstrr ( 18/6/07)). Passd th turrts of a
kupl of KASTLES. & on th@ note I nd this piece of writin.
… (cont) ( → (no. 2) (no. 50)). (13/10/04. I make a krektion 2 th nd of ‘→ (no 1)’ p
14. RAMBYNO KALNAS iz not th hghst in lithol&. It iz nly 48 metrs az u kan c on th kuvr map. Kant
rmmbr if it woz Jonas or Juozas hoo had told me it woz th hghtst.) I think w got 2 th dockn E,
downstream from wher th Neris meets th Nemunas @ O 9.15 & if u wer goin 2 do a film O how th O
looks aftr th 3
rd
O war this would be th place 2 set it – a wastel& of drelikt cemnt block buildns &
xpanses of krumbln & potOd asphalt of a b&ond soviet era ndustrial E. It was a gloomy twilght wth a
threat of rain. O 4 or 5 cars wer x th dock waitn 2 pick up passngrs (@ th time I ddnt know 1 of thm
had bn waitn 4 me) but th Deima (c → (no 1) p 13) nosed in2 a littl s&y cove nxt 2 th dock & it was
som time b4 w realizd w wer meant 2 step out → grassy verge whch was lmost lvl wth th deck. I was
1 of th 1
st
off th boat & hurried away → dsertd l&scape in th drektion of wher I thght (havn studied th
map on board) th main road mght b 2 c@ch a trolly-bus (works off ovrhead lektrik wires like a tram)
trailn my wheeld suitcase bhind me. What I had takn 4 a shallow puddl turnd out 2 b a deep potO & I
pulld th suitcase strght → it (nothn nside is wet). No1 was nsight & no1 was comn up bhnd me. A
73
taksi passd goin th othr way & nothr. Whn I got 2 th main road in spittn rain not a singl pedsrian was
vsbl in eithr drektion. I found a bus stop & th rain was settn in & I was 1drn how watrproof th suitcase
was & what wer my chances of gettn muggd. Whn a trolly-bus finally came it wsnt bvious 2 me how u
pay or evn konvers wth th drivr bhind th glass pane. I askd a girl & sh said hed hear me & told me 2
put 70c → a small kontainr pokn out of th glass. I said 1 → SENAMIESTIS & put me money in. Th
drivr flippd th kontainr whch was on a hinge → his side of th glass & rturnd it wth a tikt glarin @ me as
if I had kommittd a kaptal ffens. A few stops l8t (th girl told me wher 2 get off) I got off just as it startd
rainn heavier. I woz BACK IN KAUNAS my birthplace. I had troubl findn Kumeliu (13/10. c top left of
kuvr map Melbourne → Kaunas) g-ve 15-4 bcoz th ntry was from nside th nklosed E whch u had 2
reach thrgh an rchway & I was gettn wet & I was hungry & it was gettn l8 & whn I found th door it
wsnt sheltrd from th rain & ther was nuthn 2 ndik8 it wsnt a priv8 rsdnce & I pressd th buttns numbrd
1 2 4 & ther was no nswr & I was LOST but then rmmbrd th fone numbr I had writ down of DAIVA th
VADYBININKĖ (th 1 in charge). Found th fone booth whch was on th Vilniaus g-ve side of th
Šv.apaštalu Petro ir Pauliaus (PETER & PAUL) arkikatedra-bazilika (13/10. c no 1 on kuvr map of
Melbourne → Kaunas) & DAIVA said shed b ovr in 15 mins 2 let me in & th@ shed bn @ th dock
holdn me name up 2 pick me up & had ssumed I must hav got off on th nscheduled stop @
Jurbarkas. Anyway I m here now & I m FUCKT coz I havnt had any sleep. (nip of Čepkeliu) Aftr I
settld in I went 2 th BERNELIU UŽEIGA, a KAVINĖ Iv bn eatn @ O th kornr, & had a meal of
kabbage rolls & a coupl of glasss of dark beer. Rang Vaidases parnts 2 find out whn he would b
home & will O him in a few mins. Rang EGLE th dghtr of jŽuIoŽzYaSs 2 rrange 2 take her out 4 t
2morrow 2 BERNELIU UŽEIGA & 2 ask her 2 pass on my rgards 2 Juozas hoo I wont hav an
pportunity 2 c again. I bought a pikture map (13/10. uzed it 4 → (no 1) & this 1) of lithol& I mght use
4 covrs. I vstd th markt 2 spy on th gypsy womn selln kontrab& fags. I checkd if ther wer any buses
on wdnsdy th@ go thrgh UKMERGĖ 2 MOLĖTAI & stop @ th tiny bus stop of JANUŠIŠKE & ther is 1
@ 10.30 & 1 @ 17.00 @ 9.7 Lt & it takes 2 hours. & thn (take note of this Nicole of STALAKTITES
(24/3/07. 2dayz thgreekfstvl thr (Lonsdale+Russell)) on greek cnr of Melbourne & GEORGE-
KcOoTnZABASIS ((c → (no 1) p 6) HIC RHODUS, HIC SALTA) of th Errol kavine in Nth Melb, &
TREASURER of PASMINCO (13/10. hoos motto is SERVICE (22/10. PAPApGeEtOeRrGIOU (c
3/4/04 – 12/4/04 p 3))), & VICTORIA (13/10. @ Maxims in Paris) of th BOCADILLO (13/10. klosed
down) kavine in Brunswick st) I drank a coupl of glasss of retsina @ th GRAIKU RŪMAI (Greek
Palace) servd x Arina hoo looks greek but is a litho hoo can speak greek & litho & rus & nglsh &
ndrst&s a bit of talian coz her husb& (I thnk they r spr8d) is a greek/talian hoo has a business on an
isl& rght nxt 2 turky but Arina lft aftr a year coz shed had nuff of greece (& greeks?). B4 he met Arina
& set up shop nxt 2 turky her hubby grew up in Sydney, australia & met Arina whn he wnt 2 th greek
isl& 2 start his business wher sh was holdayn. (wnt 2 th toilt 4 a CRAP & guess what – it wont flush).
Outside th GRAIKU RŪMAI whch may well b th only greek kavine in lithol& is a st@ue of a greek in
n@nl kostume (evn sillier than th 1s lithos wear but not as silly as th 1s worn x th pakis hoo change
guard (& goos step very fast) in Peshawar (or sumsuch place)) holdn a tray wth a bottl of Imiglikos on
it. Arina, hoo is rrmarkably young 4 som1 wth so many languages, wears a greeky sort of jackt. I
komplmntd thm on th greek muzik as I m sick of anglo pop & gave thm kopies of clocks ticked on
(24/3/07. type ‘clocks ticked zizys’ in Google search. Tz vaelbl @ nantkwairian shop 4 $25) &
29/4/04 – 1/5/04. They told me th greeks had 1 th footO whch I had lready read in th Lietuvos
Rytas. But I saw an evn sillier thing this rvo – a ŠUNŪ KIRPYKLA (dog groomn) so anythn is possbl.
Rang Vaidas place but they rnt back from Vilnius as xpektd @ 7 (its 8 & th chrch bells rang) 4 their
famly do so Im goin 2 BERNELIU UŽEIGA 4 a meal servd x waitrsss in litho (but they play nglsh
muzak) kostumes but th food is good ther….Rang Vaidas again & our plans rmain as greed. Ill turn
up early arvo on wdnsdy @ th VIENKIEMIS @ Rimeisiu KAIMAS. I hav poppd 10 mg of Temazepam
& 5 mg of Valium (c → (no 1) p 13). (nip).
12/7 /04. 7.45. No sleep (22/10 this iz nuthr ssay I wrote @ th strt of th prjkt: SLEEP
(perchance to dream) “Dreams are made of mist, you wake and they are gone. (Billy
Shakespear). They were all night dreaming now it is morning and they are withered.
Shadow falls in love with sun, sun rises and shadow is destroyed. They were bubbles,
now they are burst. Vanity all is vanity. (Assorted). (paragraph).I am an insomniac. But my
wife tells me I thrash about in my sleep. It's not true. I am awake all night and I don't
dream. Or I dream that I am awake which explains why I never have any memory of
dreaming. I think all night. Each thought leads to another more convoluted more
74
exciting one always taking me into the next labyrinth. How can I possibly fall asleep
then? They are so convincing I remember them perfectly. No wonder I get up in the
morning with bags under my eyes, exhausted. It takes me half a day to recover.
(paragraph).Those whom the gods would destroy they first make mad. An insomniac is only
a longer (more pretentious?) maniac. I have a friend whose partner lost the capacity to
distinguish between being awake and sleeping. She was taken away. He claims to have
seen her sleeping during nights when she said she hadn't slept at all. I knew a girl who
cried all night every night. My friend says that what is needed is a sense of irony. I think
he was referring to the waking state, daytime reality. Life in fact. Reality as
gamesmanship, a happenstance, perhaps maybe and on the other hand. (Billy does it
better). Yet I would have thought that dreaming was the ironic state. Extraordinary
unpredictable events engulf us in dreams. (I remember only from my childhood) and we
shrug them off as shadow play. Except nightmares which Borges (the Argentinian writer)
claims are visiting demons. The waking life, my dear friend, seems more like a fight to
me, a dour struggle for the highest stakes. If it were not so why are we made so
complex and so beautiful? Perhaps your partner became exhausted from waging life's
battle both by day and all through the night. Borges (again! but I think he is quoting)
wonders why all the scholarly studies of dreaming only try to answer how instead of the
why of it. Maybe the purpose of dreams is to give respite from the struggle. (paragraph)
***** (paragraph) A Chinese sage reverses it, or suggests the possibility, that it is in sleep
that we experience the real world, wrestling with our destinies like pawns in the
machinery (which may consist of the mythologies we are assigned to fulfil) of the gods.
Once we wake up we are left with barely a trace of the memory. In this scenario the
irony I attributed to dreams is that quality of our waking memory which expunges them.
(paragraph) Bertrand Russell asks us to imagine a world created just recently, with its
entire complement of libraries, museums, histories and individual memories already in
place. The elders taught that the past is a dreaming.”) again. Got up on th 4
th
piss, saw th
dawn on th 3
rd
, a starry nght sky on th 2
nd
, & had barely got meslf cozy in bed 4 th 1
st
. Ddnt get a
chance 2 put in a furthr ntry ystrdy bcoz w ddnt get back from Kaunas till dusk & x th time w 8 & rlaxd
O th fire wth a glass of 999 (Trejos devynerios (favorit drink of eJdOuNaUrŠdAaSs (15/10. c → (no
1) p 12))) wher me & Rita (from Pittsburg USA wher sh studies histry of rt & flosfy & coms home 4
holdys havn spnt th last 8 yrs way) talkd O talk (LfOrVaEnCkE u may b ntrstd 2 know shs in2 sound
poetry) while Vaidas said 0 & listnd wth wry musemnt. Earlier in th day b4 Saulius & Edita had left th
SODYBA Vaidas had turnd O from his tap-tappn & said I hav sum stuff 2 do in Kaunas (O 80ks ←
Ukmergė) & 1t b comn ← till th evnn, do u 1nt 2 stay here or → wth me so I → wth him. He also said
2 Saulius & Edita I spose u will b → x th time w get ← & when w ← they → havn left th place prtklarly
tidy. Th nxpktd trip → town was prfkt timin 4 me as I knew H would b home from Townsville
(Queensl& ozziel& wher th avrage day was 27º & th weathr just rght 4 sailn etc sh said) as th skool
term strts 2day (mondy) & it meant I was abl 2 hav a long knvrs8n x our greed mthd wher I O & tell
her th no. 2 O back bcoz its cheap 2 O from oz 2 lithol& but very xpnsive th othr way. Sh had a gr8
holdy & larfd (but I dont think Iv don much & I dont know if its what I look 4 & Im 1drn what HA! HA!
HA-ING! is all O & peopl dont ha ha ha very much here (12/7/07. lthoez think th@ sm¤ln & lrfn rlot l
¤k yanks (& ozez?) doo zr s¤nv mbslti (12/7/07. People who lack a sense of humour cannot
understand those who are blessed with one)) & som not @ all & Im here wher I m now) a lot in good
kumpny ntil sh read my piece Vilnius (no 1)’whn sh got back 2 Melbourne a day or so go & it had
spoilt her holdy coz sh said I soundd as if I had lost my =ibrium (whch I hav a rekord of doin
spektakarly) & whats th@ O talkn 2 PROSTITUTES (LYTINĖS PASLAUGOS), whch I ssurd her I
hadnt. (23/8/04. He thinks I was born yesterday – Helh&z) Talkn live (aftr 3 weeks (sh has read th 1
st
3
pieces & Vilnius (no 2) is @ th PO 2 b pickd up 2day & I cant rmmbr if it was =y dark as Vilnius
(no1) coz its easy 2 get → dark mood (4 me hoo haz th nkln8n) whn its rainn evry day in lithol& &
your in it) it was a thrill & I felt th days purpse had bn chievd) kan make all th dffrnce & I m sure sh
could tell I was OK & th fakt is I hav not bn subjct 2 a crtain hard 2 kontrl git8n I m subjkt 2 4 th ntire
trip xept Iv bn bloody tired & its a new cuntry & I woz born here & ndr th Ostances Im not likely → 2 b
in my norml st8 of =ibrium anyway nor could b xpktd 2 but I couldnt tell if sh was OK & sh soundd
very tired. Othr news woz th@ Ben had don a long walk in th Grampians & sh was meetn up wth K8
& very1 woz OK & sh had cn th Birds Gallry stuff bein sold in Townsville & LfOrVaEnCkE has rung 2
75
say he had dskovrd a litho poet x th name of GRgAiJnAtUaSrKaAsS hoo is also a muzo wth a group
calld ‘Rockrfella’ hoom he liked & he said I should look him up on th ntrnet & mayb meet in persn –
but I know th@ if I m sposd 2 meet him I will anyway wthout lookn him up coz very1 meets very1 in
lithol& (its small) if theyr sposd 2. I was abl 2 make th call coz Vaido parents (his mum also fed us &
got me 2 hav a showr & offrd 2 wash me clothes but I had left my suitcase @ th VIENKIEMIS & both
his parents wer very good 2 talk 2 as they wer only nklined 2 say what was ncssry) offrd me th use of
their fone. Aftrwds w drove 2 th centr of Kaunas wher we had 3 mažus alaus (small beers) @ 3 dffrnt
barai (baras – bar) strtn @ a baras near SOBORAS (c Melbourne → Kaunas p 6) & ndn up @ 1 in
th SENAMIESTIS near wher I had stayd in Kumeliu g-ve wher a trmndous storm peltd down just as u
mght get in Melbourne in summr. 4got 2 mntion th@ whn w wer drinkn in th 1
st
baras w w@chd a
stunt plane doin vertkl climbs, dives, loop-th-loops & spins like I havnt cn b4 ovr SOBORAS. Walkn →
Laisvės Alėja w met a coupl Vaidas knew hoo said “w must meet up wth rEaIiMmOuNnTdAaSs” hoo
isnt in Kaunas as he usually is wher he is th centr of @ntion but is workn 4 pin money @ a 4st/lake
rsort only 30ks from wher w r in Rimeisiai. & Vaidas rote down their mobile fone no & walkn →
Vilniaus g-ve w met nothr coupl hoo knew Vaidas hoo lso said “w must meet up wth
rEaIiMmOuNnTdAaSs” & he took down their fone no 2 wth th red fountn pen whch had bn givn 2 m x
DIaCnAdSrTeRaO whch he had knockd off from th st8 libery of Vic in Melbourne, ozziel&. & walkn
back along Laisvės Alėja from Vilniaus g-ve I met LEVdIaCnKaIS & husb& hoom I know from
Melbourne & hoos son Stepas is probbly (15/10. he did & is back in Melb & I talkd 2 him last sundy @
litho haus & he sed it woz a good evnt) comn wth KEdSaMnIiNuAsS (24/3/07. boethrtaeknprt nth
Venice Biennale nth 1
st
weekvjuen wn H&¤ rlsoethr (12/7/07. Journal ♪♫ Italy 6/6/07)) 2 do
JUMBO JAZZ (c Vilnius (no 2)) stuff in septmbr. Then w went 2 th 4
th
baras wher we drank a ornge
juice wher w met up wth Rita @ 7.30pm hoom Vaidas had pparntly bn On up mystriously ovr th
prvious days. From ther w drove 2 Ukmergė wher w don som shoppn & 2 here as nght was falln &
Rita said sh had lready vztd rEaIiMmOuNnTdAaSs a few days ago @ th lake rzort. It is very strange
& mayb they r all mmbrs of 1 very ntm8 CHEBRA (group) (23/8/04. Perhaps they have all partied in the
pirti . As you have experienced it’s a great intimacy developing experience – helh&z) or gon 2 rt skool
2gthr or mayb lithol& is so small or mayb they all hav 2 b& 2gthr coz othrwise ther just isnt very much
here 4 thm or theyd get lonely sk@rd O th O 2 make a livn. During th nght I kept 1drn as I usually do
on sleepless nghts WHY? WHY? WHY? & WHY m I writn as I do? & I kpt hearn th nswr BCOZ I DO
BCOZ I DO BCOZ I DO. W ddnt x th kindziukas from Ilona & Andrius like I said w would but w mght
do it 2day or 2morrow. Its 10.15 & Vaidas is tap-tappn & Rita (I m bein buzzd x a wasp) hasnt
surfaced yet (kan hear a trakta) & its a beaut day & ther r lots of new mole holes O…. Rita reckns
Ukmergė is 1 of th ldst towns in lithol&. W got th KINDZIUKAS. They tried 2 make us take a O 1 4 0
but w rfused as w couldnt use up a O 1. I vouch 4 it – its good. Basikly its a salami made from top
qualty large cut ºz of meat & pork fat prssd → pigs bladdr & wher it diffrs from any salami Iv eatn is th
very smoky taste whch is dlicious. They also tried 2 giv us 2 large punnts of strawbrries but w only
ccptd 1. Luckly I hav a small bottl of pure t tree oil 2 giv 2 thm 2morrow 2 rmind thm of australia. 4got
2 mntion this (1.30pm now; th 2 parent storks flew ovrhead) mornn th@ H reckns I mght as well
4get O pplyin 4 th position of lithol& 2rsm prmotor as I wont get 2 th 1
st
ntrview aftr they read
my ‘Vilnius (no 1)’ rtcl. But I dont PROMOTE, I DMOTE. & here is a sayin Vaidas told me: JEI NE
GRYBAI IR NE UOGOS DZŪKU MERGOS BŪTU NUOGOS …. A big win! I found 5 BARAVYKAI 4
of whch wer wthout worms & 1 KAZLIEKA & Vaidas got a h&ful of VOVERAITĖS (15/10.
Chantarelles) so w wer abl 2 make nothr sperb mushrm(eat your ♥ out Zorka)nettl soup 2 last 4 2
days.
19/7 /04. 7.30am. Got 2 th VIENKIEMIS @ 2am. (ther is a git8d Paprastoji Medšarkė
(Lanius collurio) near x) Earlier w had left th Ignalina E mid arvo ftr a vry pleasnt BBQ x th kabn wth
Saulius & Kristina. I ddnt say a final good x 2 Saulius as he will probbly b givn me & Vaidas a lift 2 th
Vilnius airprt @ 4am on th 30
th
. I was wearn his cap (wth th name of th finnsh packgin kumpny he
used 2 work 4 writtn on th front) whch Kristina had givn me as protktion from th sun. O 40ks (50ks ←
Vilnius) ← here V said lets drop in on rEaIiMmOuNnTdAaSs hoo is workn near x @ a 2rst rsort on 1
of th largst (O 20ks long) lakes in lithol&. So w did & whn Raimundas hoo is vry suntannd from his job
as life guard (& rentn out paddl & rown boats from whch he is nkouraged 2 take som of th proceeds
(such praktices r widespread) nficially bkoz th pay is r@shit) finally knockd off work @ 9.30 whn th
last ovrdue paddl boat came in w s@ @ a tabl x th lake sw@n mozzies, kollektn glow worms, drinkn
beer & eatn chips l8 in2 th nght. A friend (kouldnt get a VISA 2 com out 2 Melbourne last year (bekoz
76
he is nemployd) thgh V had guaranteed food & kkomod8n) of Vaidas & Raimundas, Vytenis, & l8r his
wife wer also ther. Raimundas askd if he kould use my name in kontaktn som1 rsponsbl 4 th What Is
Music Festival whch pparntly takes place in Melbourne, Sydney & Brisbane. Iv vaguely heard of th
evnt & said WALrTeEnRS, FRtYoEmR, & TOdLaLvEeY all well known @ the Make It Up Club & hoo
get my writn would know of any leadn edge muzik evnt & suggstd if he sends his CV & CDs
FRtYoEmR would hav no problms nvitin him in th name of the Make It Up Club. On 2
nd
thghts I m not
sure if this is th case. Ftr all, th most I kan say O Raimundas is th@ he is a friend of a friend hoo says
he is konnektd wth all th leadn edge muzik pr4mnce rt scenes in Kaunas but is on th outr wth th
stablshmnt. Lithos hav a big rput8n of ovrstayn visas O th O & since th lympik games in ozziel& 2
(many of th knstrktion workrs hoo came 2 work on th lympik venues ovrstayd theirs). Th@s why visa
rquiremnts 4 new rrivls from here hav bn tightnd up. I would dvise th Make It Up Club not 2 nvite
any1 nless they show proof of 1) guaranteed bed & board (whch Vaidas would giv) 2) a paid
up rturn air fare ← lithol& & → & 3) th@ they hav adqu@ health nsurnce 4 australian
konditions. Th Make It Up Club is a legally konstuted body whch may dpnd on grants 2 stage evnts
& has 2 nsure it is not held liabl 4 th financial or visa prolbms of any1 it 4mly nvites. 1 of th ronik
things O th leadn edge muzik & th avant garde scene is th@ bkoz it is aimd @ such a tiny audience it
kan find itslf evn mor ntrappd x th SYSTEM & th STABLSHMNT than poplar gendrs whch raise
money from th payn publik. The only reazn I m abl 2 write as I do 2 a readrshp of 1+ is bekoz I m Oy
ndpndnt of th grants systm, H does my typn, & I pay 4 verythn meslf. Vaidas told Raimundas hed hav
no trubl findn work as a haus paintr or sumthn 2 pay his way or th@ peopl @ litho house in Errol st.
kould help but I wouldnt count on it. I dont know if he & th oz leadn edge scene hav nythn 2 offr th
uthr muzikly but it would b nice if peopl hoo try 2 break th mould wer abl 2 giv each uthr moral supprt.
Most rtsts (let alone rebls) in lithol& hav 2 work so hard @ nythn 2 make nds meet they hav no time
or nrgy 4 th work theyd like 2 do.(10am Vaidas has srfcd)…. On th way ← Ukmergė ftr x-ng th paints
4 th BOBA as w wer drivn † th field w saw a pair of Kurapka (Perdix perdix) followd x 7 chicks runnn
head → track b4 they ↑ & droppd out of sight ↓ th grass…. Found a BARAVYKA & LEPŠI. Ther r quite
a few Žaliukės (greenfinchs) (Carduelis chloris) O & 2 young (just out of th nst) Strazdai
Giesmininkai (song larks) (Turdus philomelos) whch I lso get in my yard in Melbourne. M goin 2 th
SENKAPIS (c ‘Lord of the Rings’ – barrow mounds) 2 check 4 LEPŠIAI (plural) undr th birchs….
26/7 /04 ( Vilnius → Melbourne (no. 51)). 7.00. Iv had a showr. It may b my last 1 in
lithol& az th watr is havn mor trubl drainn way each day. I fell → a deep sleep but woke durin th nght
groann & I woz teary. I kept rpeatn “70% wer jwsh”. I heard an eerie moan & thght sum1 in nuthr
room must b kalln out in their sleep but it woz strange & I 1drd if Latako g. woz lso wthin th boundry
(Saulius had sed he rmmbrd 2 ghettos, 1 large & 1 small, & rmmbrd a huge synagog & Katerina sed
th uthr jwsh mzeum in Naugarduko g. woz opn & had an xbtion on now & if I 1td 1
st
h& nfo sh (sh haz
lso bn 2 zrael) kould rrange 4 her friends 2 tell me but I sed AŠ NORIU ATSIKRATYTI NUO VISO
TUO) of 1 of th ghettos & whethr I woz hearn a voice from bneath th gO & I broke n2 a sweat & a
shivr ran thrgh me & thn nuthr ½ duz times. It woz strange but not frghtn, nly sad. Then a c@
skreamd in th yard & nuthr & thr woz a st&off btween yowdln c@s & it went on 4 a long time & I rlized
th moan whch I had heard earlier az if from th grave (or th past) must hav bn from 1 of th c@s but it
ddnt change 0 (Borges ndrstood this). I heard myslf say “lord, avenge them” (az if I kould b talkn 2
sum1 & how przmptious) whch ndik8s I hav lost my balance gain in Vilnius. But how kould I not? I
had bn sayn 2 Vaidas how beautful th street names in Ukmergė such as Mišku g. & Smėlio g. &
Lydeku g. wer & I had thght th@ th name Šventoji (THE HOLY (or BLESSED)) woz th most beautful
of all th rvr names in lithol& (& mor luvly evn than th Darling whch iz my favrit rvr name in oz) & now I
m 1drn if th synagog woz near th rvr & I will not b abl 2 think of th word Ukmergė in any uthr way xept
az th place whr EVERYONE WAS MURDERED. & it iz strange (I kanot swallow it) th@ I hav → O
Ukmergė day ftr day not nly wthout knowin it had bn a mainly jwsh town but wthout rlizin any jws @
all had livd thr …. Thr iz an rgument (I feel shamed x evn ngagin in it 2 rbuke it az if a viktry haz
lready bn 1 ovr me but I hav 2 bkoz its out thr & sum r nfluencd x it) I keep hearn put x sum (rarely
(bkoz it sounds rdiklous whn st8d opnly & shameful)) but bein mplied (eg Meilutė sed (but I know sh
woz not doin it) they cheerd in th streets whn th ruskies kame; Rimas sed (nor woz he) if they had not
bn cn 2 hav koopr8d so opnly mor kould hav bn saved; sum1 sed all th leadrship wer @ 1
st
jws then
they wer all rplaced x ruskies & lithos; (1/11. Alfonsas Eidintas in Jews, Lithuanians and the
Holocaust (c Vilnius (no 1) p 4) drawz @10tion 2 th role playd x th Kaunas branch of th CP whch
woz 70% → 76% jwsh in mmbrshp & bein th party branch of th then kaptl city supplied many ↑ly vzbl
77
(thgh not ncessrily most nfluential) guvt ffcials durin th 1
st
rus kkup8n (but he woznt eithr))) x many
whch I do not 1t 2 hear gain. It iz th@ it woz th jws themslvz hoo wer th kauz of th katastrofe th@ fell
on thm. THEY WER NOT. Thr wer lso non-jwsh lithos (probbly ½ of th party (I m nkludin ssoci8d yth
rgniz8ns) wer from th start (my guess)) hoo koopr8d & no1 haz punishd thm (& sum r probbly in th
guvt now & many r in th new prvliged klass) thgh sum in th past hav kalld 4 it but if any1 had sggstd
evn then (red ink is runn out – NB. DiaCnAdSrTeRaO (8/4/07. muezn rplaes··t rednk fowntn✑ ue
→ mi 2do ths edtnv Monday (12/7/07. just ranowtvnk))) th@ their wives & chldrn & nnocent rl@vs
should b mrdrd (eg x bein burnt live) peopl would hav sed they wer homcidel MONSTERS. But I do
not hear any1 sayn now th@ they dzerv or hav dzervd 2 b evn slghtly punishd (1/11. 0 of this iz 2
deny th 2
nd
law of tribes whch iz th@ if sum mmbrs of nuthr tribe kill sum mmbrs of yor tribe u kill az
many mmbrs of th uthr tribe (100,000+ so far in iraq) az ntrn@ionl pinion llowz u 2 get way wth. Th 1
st
law of tribes iz th@ yor tribe iz lwayz rght (& nobl) & th uthr tribe iz lwayz rong (& evil))…. (I m so
tired)…. 2day wthout konsultn me Taurius took me 2 c his workm8 ŠdNaInUaTsĖ hoo woz a partzan
@ 15 (till hiz fathr 4cd him 2 leav th unit) & both of hooz parnts wer killd x STRIBAI (c Vilnius (no 2)
p 4) & hoo brought out 00s of fotos he had kllektd from rchives (& he lso took many himslf) most of
whch wer of CORPSES of th kind I had cn @ litho haus in Errol st Melb. (c September 20/21 p
6&7) whch had upset me so much. He gave me writtn m@rial & I promisd 2 pass it & th fotos → th
libery @ litho haus so any1 kan c what they went thrgh & kontakt him if they want mor koz he mounts
xbtions of this m@rial & it seems 2 me rlivs gain & gain 1 of th most futile (but they thght th yanks &
th brits wer goin 2 help out (8/11. they had sed they would & had urged thm on) but they wer sold out
& 2 make up 4 th sellout (Taurius rekns) th yanks spportd their dzire 2 ntr NATO this time O) wars of
all time. He haz a ‡ (c Šiauliai p 2) & komplains th@ th peopl hoo run th ffcial litho gencide centr
dont dzerv th job koz they ddnt xprience th real thing. Like a true nthuziast he seems 2 hav known
very1 (20,000 died) & of very1 & mayb hiz life iz ddk8d 2 keepn their mmry live. He sez th ruskies
kkuzed thm of havn prtcip8d in killn th jws but he had not met a singl man hoo had bkoz th 1s hoo did
(he sed) had all gon west wth th germn units & 2 places like USA, canada, australia, brazil etc. But I
hav had nuff of CORPSES & very1 1ts me 2 c theirs & it woznt th way I wantd to start this day of all
dayz. Then Taurius took me → Dukšu Ažuolynas whr th oaks r sick or dyin & then → Kernave th 1
st
site from whr lithol& woz ruled x Mindaugas th bloodthirsty duke hoo woz their 1
st
king. A nun startd
telln us th dtaild histry of th place & I mbarrssd Taurius x walkn out of th chrch az I kouldnt st& th
earbashn nymor. My rudeness had a good ffekt az it konvinced him I really meant it whn I sed I wantd
‘home’ az soon az possbl bkoz I needd time 2 write not sghtc (I m nevr short of m@rial bkoz what I
need kums → me not me → it) & I woz BUGGERD. It woz a bit sad 2 nd my kontakt wth him prhaps
4eva in such a way. I 4got 2 put in ystrdy th@ on th way 2 Rimas place I sor th Naminis Žvirblis
(house sparrow) (Passer domesticus) & Karklažvirblis (whch iz lso in oz) (Passer montanus)
2gethr x th Neris rivr. 2day @ Kernave I sor a Paprastoji Raudonuodegė (Phoenicurus
phoenicurus) …. Strange. Peopl 1t me 2 get on wth it & b a soe happy 2rst & rmmbr th dstnt past
most of whch is BULLDUST (they say Ukmergė iz so so old but they dont tell me nearly very1 in it iz
so so new) but @ th same time they 1t me 2 b an MNESIAK so I wouldnt rmmbr th@ thoz hoo livd &
workd here in my lifetime wer herdd → this E 2b → outside th city 2 b shot. & givn th slghtst pprtunity
they earbash me O it evn in chrchs (esp in chrchs kum 2 think of it) so thr iz az littl az possbl chance
th@ I would rflekt on the main legacy of Vilnius whch iz th@ th old town iz built on th proceeds of th
most horrfk krime of th modrn era (writtn in Žydu g. (drektly † from my sual eatn spot in Gaono g.) 56
steps (paced it out) from whr th Gaon of Vilnius 1ce livd & wrote kommnts in th mrgins of many
books) .… Went 2 th Aušros Vartai wth th ntntion of goin ↑ steps on me knees 2 sk th vrgin mary 4 a
prtklar favour (met th strip klub tout long th way) but I woz 2 l8 & it woz klozed. Howvr I hav made th
rquest in good faith & if it iz not grntd I will know it duznt work (4 me @ least). tŽaIuŽrYiSus told me a
good sayn x a relo of hiz: “Valgyk lašinius, kalbėk lietuviškai, ir būsi sveikas”(1/11. but he haz a
krook ♥ & had trubl walkn any dstnce & not @ all ↑ slopes).
(15/3/07. Completion of Mondays from folder 5 (nos. 42 – 51 of anthology))
6/12/04 ( 30/11/04 – 9/12/04 (no. 52)). Took th mobile on th → ystrdy evnn & rang H.
It woz a $12 kall. Sh spnt a good deal of s@dy →n O th city. Dan iz paintn th ceiln of hiz bdrm & x th
time Im back K8 will hav shiftd out, a hard rubbsh kllktion will hav bn dun & th back bdrms of th
Ivanhoe haus b back in ordr. I told her how very day Im gnizin ovr th ssue of whthr Im 2 kntinue writin
now I no longr feel th kmpulsion 2. I dont know if Ill b puttn nymor pieces out & my journl ntries r
78
prfunktry (7/1. I feel mpty, out of a job. Whatl I do?). Ftr I ← th walk th uthr party in th kamp wer playn
muzak so I shftd east → Myoporum Flat whr I woz x meslf. I went 2 bed kkmpnied x th very prsistnt
oom oom oom of th Common Bronzewing (Phaps chalcoptera) & got up this mornn 2 th same kall.
Drove ← 2 Surfleet kove 4 brkfst koz I wantd 2 hav th view ovr th c az I woz eatn. Watchd 2 pair of
Port Lincoln prrots (Barnardius zonarius) squabbln ovr a nstn hllow. They nip each uthr so hard th@
a kloud of feathrz fliez each time. →d eastwdz takin in th Matthew Flinders monmnt on top of
Stamford Hill whch woz an mprtnt survey point 4 him. He lost 8 of hiz krew in th E & @ th sthrn nd of
th park thr iz a CAPE ·ASTROPHE (5/1. c kuvr map @ J/K x 9). Kame ← shor bside wtr of xptionl
klarty On granit & limestone headl&s. Left @ 9.40 & woz ← @ th van @ 3.15. Ftr t →d th uthr way →
Spalding kove & hav now shiftd th van here 2 b x mslf gain. Th muzkal group had bn rplaced x a
queensl& kupl wth a huge br& new kravan wth TV aerial & wth biOs ttachd 2 thr 4x4. I kan do wthout
thr kumpny. Th sgn on th 1k trak → here from th main rd sez “recommended 4 wheel drive” but its
OK thgh I dont know what happns 2 it whn its wet. Sually traks in limestone kuntry rnt a prblm ftr rain.
This iz xlntly protktd from th sthrly wind whch iz very strong 2day. Last nght thr wer a kupl of heavy
showrs & a huge lghtnn storm. Im sittn writin on th bak bumpr ndr th tail g8 backd rght on2 th edge of
th s& lookn out @ a duz or so black swans (Cygnus atratus) in wtr whch gains dpth nly very
grdually. I kan c a motr launch in th dstance. They r probly kollktn skallops & razr fsh both of whch like
protktd inlts whr th wtr iz sually still. Lokls kolkt huge quanties of thez shllfsh bkoz they r so eezee 2
find & probly drive thr kolstrol level sky↑. Itz srprizinly kool & goin 2 stay like th@ till th nd of th week
kkordn 2 th radio whch sez an nseaznl low prssure systm iz ntnsfyin ovr westrn NSW. I had 2 pack th
rain shell on → this mornn whch meant I ddnt hav room 2 nklude th snorkl & goggls whch I mght hav
uzed in a few spots if Id had em. 8.00pm & time 4 a koffee.
14/2 /05 ( 10/2/05 – 18/2/05 (no. 54)). Im @ Bemm River (Vic Roads map 86 H x 5.1)
in th very @rktv litl pknk E x th watr † th road ← th pub. Th van iz parkt in good shade ndr lrge gumz
neer~x, thr iz a groop of a duzn plkanz on a p@ch of s&y bank 100 yardz way, I m ritin (Iv bn here
many times & ritn journl ntreez but I kant rmmbr if any hav found thr way in2 th pieces I put out) @ a
tabl Iv ritn on b4, a guy hooz havn lunch wth hiz wife @ th nxt tabl →d bak ← hiz 4x4 (pulln a karavn)
& sed “your writin your life story then” & I sed “no m8 Ill write O u” & he rplied “Ill b famous
then”, a kupl drest in blak pulld up on mtorbikes, Im drinkn a stubee of Tooheys OLD Black Ale & m
O 2 get nuthr, its balmy wth a gentl breez. This mornn I sed good~x 2 th 2 germn kidz I had stood
yakn 2 x th fire l8 in2 th nght ystrdee. 1 of thm iz viztn 4 2½ weeks, th uthr haz bn workn here ovr a
yeer 4 Siemens. They both had studeed ntrn@nl buzynss dminstr8n @ th same uni. Dont think they
wer 2 keen on turks of hoom thr r 7 mllion (out of 80) in germny. They wntd 2 slide ↓ s& dunes on
spcial bordz they had 4 th prpz so I told thm O th big 1 @ Thurra Rivr whch iz whr they dcided →. I
drank a prtty good drop of red wine wth em. @ Orbost chekt th mobile mssge bank & thr woz 1 ← H.
Sh sez Benz got hiz nmploymnt bnftz & iz hlpn her wth work in th bak yard (24/2. workn thr now). Dan
got bak ← NZ on thurzdee but left 4 Sydney on fridee 4 a job. He reely njoyd kiwil& & haz sum
munee in hiz pokt 4 a chnge. Hez got planz but sh nevr sed what. I kan guess : Milan, New York,
Tokyo, Paris etc etc. Iv herd it all b4. I sed (2 her mssge bank) I mght b bak this fridy nsted of nxt az
th piece I want 2 put out iz falln in2 shape. Th main task iz 2 vizt a kupl of th •s in East Gippsl& (25/2.
SA&NrIeGwAz klas @ Melb Uni r rdzignn th bordwalk @ Wingan Inlet & 2day he askt me & MM 2
help (2/3. w 8 in Lygon st 2day & rranged 4 me & MM 2 b @ Melb Uni on th 15
th
)) whr th xploits of
MM (Mallacoota Man (24/2. lso haz bn known az Th Hermit & az th Wild Man of East Gippsl&) of IN
TRANSIT (22/2. th GURU OF GONZO (Hunter S. Thompson (24/2. Kmitd suicide last sundee (26/2.
the day ftr September 11 he wrote: “The towers are gone now, reduced to bloody rubble,
along with all hopes for Peace in Our Time, in the United States or any other country.
Make no mistake about it. We are At War now ~ with somebody ~ and we will stay At
War with that mysterious Enemy for the rest of our lives.” & whn he woz loozin njoymnt in
ritin: “I suspect writing is a bit like fucking, which is only fun for amateurs. Old whores
don’t do much giggling.”))) sez (in 2dayz Age p11): “Gonzo journalism is a style of reporting
based on William Faulkner’s idea that the best fiction is far more true than any kind of
journalism ~ and the best journalists have always known this.” (c lso Danyo Reserve p
3)) take place so az 2 hav n xuse 2 nklude an nsert (“Meanwhile, right in the midst of these literary
considerations our stranger arrives at his campsite. As he catches sight of his water container and
the plastic box he uses for storage and as a seat in the car headlights he feels the warm glow of
homecoming. The trip into Mallacoota had been a discordant note. His one man tent is out of sight in
79
the undergrowth among several massive tree trunks. It is only when he turns the engine off and gets
out of the van that it becomes apparent that he is not far from the coast for the muted roar of the sea
is clearly audible. The tree trunks glow in the moonlight like the columns of a temple. There is a
stillness in the night air and a special sense of security and freedom which comes from the certainty
that he is alone. He pulls out his jacket from the box as it is turning chilly and sets about making a
fire. Later he sits staring into the fire a stubby of stout in his hand, untroubled by thought. After sitting
like this for the best part of an hour he gets up, picks up the spade lying behind the box, and goes to
a spot among some bushes where he places his torch on a log in such a way that it’s light allows him
to see what he is doing . He digs with ease as the ground had already been turned over only the
previous week. It does not take him long to reach the body which is only a foot below the surface.
The body is that of his father. It has a bullet hole through the head. The discerning reader will by now
smell a rat. Rightly so. In fact the stranger does not pick up a spade behind the box. He walks to the
bushes for a leak, and comes back for another stubby. Later on, lying on his lilo in the tent, he hears
an owl hoot: ¶ bird of night // take me / to your moonlit dreams / take me / in your glowing eye /
to where the pale moon / guard my sleep ¶ As the night grows colder he is still, like shadow and
light. He dreams that he is lying dead by the side of the highway between Broken Hill and Cobar. ¶
inside his rib cage / two crows dance // one that struts and strops its beak / says / I dance like
this / to honour death // the other / shuffles its wings and nods its head // I dance for you / my
empty friend / to introduce you to the night ………………I am suffering from acute indecision
caused by terminal confusion. Will even the most general laws of human behaviour be made known
to me? Is true self-awareness achievable? Can pigs be taught to fly? And why do cats always shit in
the corner of a room? One thing is certain: when Copernicus took the earth away from the centre of
the universe he instigated a chain of intellectual events culminating in the emotional bankruptcy of
western civilization. For believe me, reader, the age for heroes is long gone. As a society we have no
coherent vision of where we are going. There is no steep and dangerous path winding upwards along
a precipice to test the mettle of a noble spirit. We live in an age of consensus where we agree on
everything that is trivial to feed the body but nothing that heals the soul. The unified theory of
existence has been utterly destroyed by the Heisenberg principle. There are no truths left; all is
relative, all is chaos. Totally confused, parents and schools can no longer teach their children where
truth and justice are to be found. Without the support of coherent social values the weaker members
of society fall prey to the evils of the age: navel gazing, wanking, gluttony, sloth, timidity and
selfishness. You are gross, you are blind, you are spiritually deformed … but I must stop. I am getting
out of hand here; I must not lose control. My immediate problem is whether to continue with the story
of my flight home, the train journey and my arrival on the doorstep of my cousin in Balmain, whether
to return to Jim Brown in White Cliffs who if you remember, has just finished eating a pie and is about
to go into the pub, or go right back to Shipwreck Creek near Mallacoota where we left the stranger
asleep in his tent. ¶ I include that last paragraph to give you an idea how lateral the creative process
really is. How can I be expected to write a ‘tight’ story when my world is in shambles? I hold a mirror
to the world as it is not as it should be. My characters are no more out of control than I am; their
sanity is as tenuous as mine. Jim has an identity crisis. The stranger or as I shall henceforth refer to
him, Mallacoota Man, is morbid. Besides he believes he was born by spontaneous generation which,
seeing I was a virgin birth, and Jim arrived by budding, means that there is not a normal birth
between us. What’s more I don’t know if Jim ‘budded’ from me or from Mallacoota Man, though I
suspect he tends to appropriate my experiences. Incestuous relationships between author and
character are nothing new; in this tolerant age you’ll just have to learn to accept that …….”) of 1 of
thm in this piece. H iz nkuragin me 2 ‘pblsh’ th xzrpts from IN TRANSIT. I think its bkoz sh yearnz 2
type plain nglsh. (19/2/05. I find it increasingly difficult to type in plain English. In documents I type at
work I consistently leave off the e from ‘the’ and have to spend time adding it on! Helh&z) In Orbost I
bght bunz & red The Age ovr a x2 shot latté (thr r O 24 plkanz now). Im prtklrly ntrstd in nythn 2 do
wth HABIB. Hiz kase berz on my prkp8n wth th notion of KOMPLICITY in genrl but esp az it ppliez 2
trtur. R th ppl hoo voted 4 th lbralz KOMPLICIT 2 th liez az LfOrVaEnCkE klaimz (bkoz w all know
verythn he reknz)? I m not sure. Neerly verythn ppl say r rptitionz (clichéz, echoez) of what their
seniorz say & they reely bleev it. They r like chldrn & HOWARD iz their fthr figr. Th litl prik workz hiz
butt off 2 prjekt th mage. It givz u n idea of how th vrage ozzie bloke rmmbrz hiz dad. Too bad! Im
getn nuthr stubee & m off 2 Pearl Point → whr th trak iz good nuf 4 n rdnry kar kordn 2 th lady in th
pub & ← whr MM 1ce set out → beech 2 bild a sheltr in prpr8n FOR THE END OF THE WORLD
(26/2. but th pisode Im kwotin 2 introjuice u 2 MM took place rlier 2 th eest of Wingan Inlet: “An
80
explanation is in order. The fact is Jim sometimes claimed, or had heard of someone who claims, to
have grown up in Mallacoota. He was the son he says of none other than that self-righteous citizen
wearing the ‘Vote for Joh’ badge who owned the general store where Mallacoota Man bought his
provisions. Looking at Jim here you would hardly believe that his youth was the product of an
archetypal lower middle class upbringing and I don’t. He claims to have worn his father’s ‘Vote for
Joh’ badge himself. He had tapped a little white ball around the Mallacoota Golf Course. He had
believed in the pious drivel about how small traders and farmers were the backbone of the nation and
how its moral fibre was being undermined by socialists and women’s libbers. It was Jim’s encounter
with Mallacoota Man, initially from behind the counter of the store and later as their friendship
matured by actual visits to his camp, that was the spark that liberated Jim from his father’s
domination. Small world, isn’t it! It’s not surprising then that Jim, hazy and sensitive as he was about
his past, should tell the traveller a story of another man’s past. He was getting a bit drunk too and
what’s the difference anyway! ¶ And so it’s time for all of us to go back to Mallacoota Man (24/3/07. 2
this stori nlthoe (transl8d x SaTlRbUiNnGaA) → www.lietuviams.com & nth serchE nth r¤t laebld
‘ieškoti’ ' in transit) where we left him in his camp at Shipwreck Creek, at night in a tall forest of
silvertop ash (eucalyptus sieberi). Except it is summer this time and instead of being fast asleep
dreaming poetry he is sitting on his plastic box drinking another stubby of Cooper’s stout. Us authors
can do things like that. ¶ It is a dark night again. The moon has not risen and the stars are hidden by
cloud. In spite of the proximity of the ocean, from where the occasional crash of a larger wave
intrudes into our man’s consciousness, here in the forest the air is warm and very humid. Mallacoota
Man is staring into the coals of his fire. He is holding the stubby in one hand while with the other he
makes unconscious fluttering movements to protect his ankles from hordes of tiny ferocious
mosquitoes that are cruising about just above ground level. Consequently he is hunched forward in
an attitude that looks cramped and awkward. Every now and then he straightens up and raises his
hand to scratch a spot on his shoulder from which earlier in the evening he had detatched a tick with
a pair of tweezers. ¶ He is in deep thought. He is thinking about one of the lesser known
consequences of Avogardo’s theory: namely that every human being has in his body particles that
had previously been incorporated in the bodies of all other human beings, even past human beings.
It amazed him to think that parts of his body had once been parts of the living tissue of Jesus Christ.
This comes about naturally because of the paths that oxygen and carbon dioxide that we breathe in
take through our body and because of the way the molecules breathed out are in a very short time
again redistributed evenly through the earth’s atmosphere. ¶ I myself have spent fitful nights turning
this wonderful idea over in my head. It is an extraordinarily telling indicator of the interconnectedness
of all living creatures. It means that Mallacoota Man and Jim Brown, and for that matter, myself, really
are most intimately related in spite of our parthenogenic origins. I might as well reveal to you here
that Mallacoota Man has in the past been guilty of consuming human flesh. It is from the time of this
misguided practice that he dates the appearance of the suppurating sores that at times of tension,
when his immune system is suppressed, break out on the inside of his mouth and around the rim of
his anus. He suspects that the entire length of his alimentary canal is similarly afflicted. The practice
of cannibalism is of course not to be recommended under any circumstances and even in the
distressed mental condition that he was in at the time he would not have embarked on it if he had
only known what he knew now: that all other human beings were already incorporated into the fabric
of his flesh. ¶ He is still sitting on the box staring gloomily into the coals. His forehead is creased in a
frown as the tip of his tongue explores a festering pustule on the roof of his mouth. He has had a bad
day. ¶ His troubles started early in the morning when he cut his index finger deeply on the serrated
edge of the lid of a can of spaghetti he had opened for breakfast. The tip of his finger which is now
tightly taped has no feeling and it may be that the nerve is severed. Later he had gone for a walk to a
beach a few kilometres away and got caught by a heavy shower. At the same time as he was being
drenched he realized that he didn’t know if he had remembered to put the lid back on the plastic
container of muesli which he had left out in the open. When he got back he found the container
tipped over and the remains of the muesli strewn around it. A couple of currawongs strutted about
contentedly. If the birds hadnt found it the muesli would have been ruined by the shower anyhow.
That was not the end of it. At tea time he had managed to bite his tongue when eating a prune so
that a piece of it is sticking out awkwardly and keeps catching on any food he eats. It is still bleeding
and is soothed only by the stout flowing over it. ¶ He hears a rustle and then a wheezing and
coughing made by a possum which has the bad habit of wandering about in the branches above him.
Later it will climb down the trunk of the nearest tree to eat the bread with which Mallacoota Man has
81
been coaxing it for weeks. He is trying to get the possum to lose its fear of man by training it to come
right up to the end of his foot. This is the same incontinent animal that had once peed on him from an
overhanging branch. It sometimes attempts to poop on him too. He picks up his torch and directs a
powerful beam into the branches. He is wary not to be the victim of the possum’s poor toilet training
again. The possum, hissing and spluttering, climbs down the trunk and scavenges for the small
pieces of bread leading towards the plastic box he is sitting on. He stares at it morosely: though he is
prepared to give it bread he cannot forgive it for its past misdemeanors. ¶ Later after scratching his
ankles furiously, he stands up, puts the empty stubby by the fire which has almost gone out and picks
up a half size spade. He walks down an obscure track till he is well away from the camp. At the edge
of the clearing he stops and digs a hole. The frogs in a depression at the other end of the clearing
cease their croaking. After inspecting the hole with the torch he turns around and unzips his trousers.
He is going to have a crap. He squats down, trousers around his ankles, balancing with one hand
and knows immediately that he has made an awful mistake. A hundred or perhaps a thousand
mosquitoes are drilling their probosces into his bum. Only those with personal experience of his
predicament will understand what he is going through. The simultaneous biting of a very large
number of mosquitoes has a multiplying effect so that it feels as if a sharp knife is being pushed into
each buttock. A diarrhoeal condition ensures that there is nothing he can do about it. In the depths of
his frustration he lifts a hand to his forehead and lets out a tortured scream into the treetops while at
the same time evacuating his large intestine with an emphatic slurp. He hurries back without
bothering to bury the evidence, grabs a stubby from the car, and sits down on the plastic box. ¶ The
possum is still there examining its navel or its anus, its back turned disrespectfully towards
Mallacoota Man. As he is about to pull the ring-top on the stubby he stiffens and sniffs at the night air.
He picks the torch up, points it at the possum and stands up. Then he shines it at the box: it is
smeared with excreta. The possum has shat on the lid. The possum is about to meet its maker. But
wait! It may yet be saved. There is something familiar about that smell and there is just too much turd
on the box. Slowly Mallacoota Man turns around, arches his back, and shines his torch on the back
of his trousers. They are smeared all the way down to the heels of his mocassins. He has shat on
them himself. For the time being the life of the possum is saved. ¶ Mallacoota Man stands still for an
entire minute. His shoulders are slumped, his spirit appears to be broken. Suddenly, in a paroxysm of
fury he rushes at the possum and with an almighty kick sends it catapulting into the air. The
screaming possum hits a trunk, falls to the ground, and scrambles up the tree again. Mallacoota Man
hurls a stubby after it. Weeks of patient training have come to nought. ¶ As if exorcised of some
malignant spirit, he takes a deep breath. He feels better now. He heads into the forest on the way to
a cove from which he can hear the sound of breaking waves. At the beach he puts his torch on a rock
which he knows he will be able to find in the dark and wades into the ocean. He dives into a wave
and loses his mocassins. He lies in the shallows as wave after wave washes him clean. He walks
back to his camp in bare feet. At the camp he throws the wet clothes over a bush, dries himself and
crawls into his tent. He goes to sleep commiserating the power that trivialities exert over men’s lives.
But ¶ as the shell of his life falls away / breached by the steady rhythm / of the pounding sea /
he surrenders to the night // the sea grows louder / till its roaring mingles with his dreams /
and on the waves of sleep / he is carried to a shoreline // where he knows / that it has always
been so / that on one such night / he will be taken / back to sea ¶ Meanwhile time spins its
fragile web upon the surface of the turning earth whose glowing core as ever dreams its dream of
molten stone. ¶ The above incident is plausible yet life itself never is. The implausible in our lives
gives it its poignancy. The most extraordinary thing is that we should exist at all. Can you believe that
a hundred or so simple elements like carbon, oxygen, phosphorous, hydrogen could organize
themselves, even over billions of years, into living, thinking beings. Yet against all probability they
did. Life does not follow the rules of probability. It’s a problem for me as a writer. If I want to be
believed I have to present you with plausibilities. If I describe it as it really happened you’re not going
to believe me. All I can do is try. ¶ He stood up. He picked up the torch and a small spade and went a
short distance into the bush past the camp site. He began to dig. He dug with ease as the soil had
recently been turned over. Soon he reached the body: it was the body of his father. ¶ in memory of /
a substantial citizen / called to a higher life // he was a man / hole at one end for food / the
other end for waste / a busy businessman / he’s in the largest tomb / two tons of marble / and
not a plastic flower / his rotten body / lies deep down / and broods of rest // here they are / a
company of friends ¶ No, no, I lost the thread then. That was another time, in another place, in
winter I think. ¶ What he really did was dig a hole and have a crap. Back at the camp he threw some
82
kindling on the fire which had almost gone out. He went to the car and got a bottle of apricot sherry. It
was for the possum. He had been training it for weeks to be a drunk. It had almost finished eating the
trail of bread from the base of the tree to the saucer into which he poured the sherry. Though it didn’t
take much to get the possum drunk he had been increasing the amount each night. It drank the
sherry greedily as usual, stood up on its hind legs as if begging, and fell flat on its back. Mallacoota
Man was in a sour mood; he was not amused. He went to the van and got out his rifle. It already had
a bullet in the breech. He cut a piece of cheese, stuck it on the sight of the rifle and sat down on the
box. In one hand he held a stubby and in the other the rifle with the muzzle under the nose of the
possum. The possum fiddled with the cheese as it lay on its side. He put the muzzle to its eye and
shot it. He intended to skin it and cook it in the cast iron baking dish which he had in the van. Why
should the Vietnamese be the only ones to taste possum? ¶ Not true! The animal liberationists
among you can relax. Go back to eating your vegies. What he really did was finish his drink and
stagger off to his tent. The day had been too long, life was too hard, he couldn’t be bothered shooting
the possum. ¶ Inside the tent he undressed so that he was stark naked and felt the contours of the
sleeping bag. The life size vinyl doll he had bought at an army disposal store was fully inflated. With
some difficulty he wriggled down into the bag beside her. ¶ may i feel said he / (i’ll squeal said she
/ just once said he) / it’s fun said she // (may i touch said he / how much said she / a lot said
he) / why not said she // (let’s go said he / not too far said she / what’s too far said he / where
you are said she) // may i stay said he / (which way said she / like this said he / if you kiss said
she // may i move said he / is it love said she) / if you’re willing said he / (but you’re killing said
she / but its life said he / but your wife said she / now said he) / ow said she // (tiptop said he /
don’t stop said she / oh no said he) / go slow said she // (cccome? said he / ummm said she) /
you’re divine! said he / (you are Mine said she) / (e.e.cummings) ¶ How nice it would be if life’s
stories had happy endings. Unfortunately we cannot shape life in the way that authors can control
their yarns: it is too unruly for that. …….”) …. How sprized I woz 2 find th road 4md & gravld all th
way 2 th •. N@rly thr r ppl here & sum1 iz kampt …. On th way → Orbost I woz thinkn (rl8d 2
ystrdeez kommnts) th@ knshoosnss (rl8d 2 konshens whn w r torkn O how w r joind wth chuthr) iz
just a fancy word uzed x phlosphrz 2 meen awake. It kumz from th dskum4t korzd x th dffrnce btween
th sensz (24/2. problee sepr8 stmlus/rspns rgnzmz b4 they wer joind in th prmordial c). Hghtnd
knshoosnss (warenss) (favrit of GURUS) iz nuthr way of sayn bein mor wake. Dreemz r mmreez,
mainly of what wv cn. Kmpared 2 th awakend 1z neerly very1 iz sleepn. Then I rlized Iv xplaind it all
b4 in 15/4/02 – 26/4/02 pp 13, 14…. In ordr 2 muddy th watrz so az 2 dsguize their ntruzion az
midl men (c March 11 p 9) whn they dskuss knshoosnss th flosphrz & shrinks ntrojuice notions of
dentity & of th ‘I’ (go, supr-go, id) …. 8.00. Ftr t I had a dip in watr whch woz just rght, mild but kool
nuf 2 rfrsh on what haz turnd out 2 b a warmsh, stil evnn. → 4 a kupl of kz & found sum terrfk rope
but koodnt get th nd off th pole it woz @chd 2. Itz reel kwalty stuf so I ← van 2 get me nife. Therz O
90 metrz of it. Brort it ← 2 take home. Kumn ← I had nuthr dip. Th c woz lmost glasee. Its so stil. &
thr r no mozzeez. Kan u beet th@! Time 4 a koffee.
21/3 /05 ( 21/3/05 – 25/3/05 ( no. 55)). V & me r bak on th Nowa Nowa Arm of Lake
Tyers (c ‘10/2/05-18/2/05’). This time V sed FUCK whn w got 2 th spit @ th nd of TRIDENT ARM trak
az it iz kkupied x a groop so w had 2 setl 4 a kampnE a k → sth. Leevn Melbourne he bort a pair of
plstk orz 4 th dingy whch stil haznt cn H2O & a air pump az he had left th 1 he had @ home. In Lakes
Entrance w bort a fsh meel (sord fsh 4 me). V haz ↓ ej of th lake wth th rodz. Ystrdy he woz up l8
fnishn off an rdr 4 21 sramk dolz 4 sum1 in Canberra. I hav no nergy @ all az w r @ th start of nuthr
famly drama & last nght I hardly slept. Im pprhnsiv. Th mobile iz bein rcharged off th kar b@ry & I
hope 2 chek th mesj bank 4 newz if therz rcepshn. Kant b bothrd ritin (5.55 pm) so ftr a KRAP (bhind
th LOG) Im ↓ 2 c how hez doin.
4/4/05 ( 2/4/05 – 8/4/05 ( no. 56)). Th sky kleerd durin th nite & th starz wer brliant in th
drie air. A ¼ moon +d 2 th glow. Xotk berdz I koodnt dntfie profside snrize. I woz thinkn O il papa.
Givn th h&ikap of prvlj & th dvoshn of th faithfl he led a dmirbl life & I xpkt wil hav meny mraklz trbuted
2 him & dklaird a saint in rkord time. I m shor in hiz last daiz he woz knshz th@ nly a week go w wer
rmmmbrn th deth of jzuz of nzarth. I 1dr if he new th@ a slave (I think SCHIAVO meenz slave in
talian) dide durin th week. Long b4 krstianty bkame th rljn of THE EMPIRE it woz th rljn of th SLAVES
OF ROME. Jzuzs last werdz (all verzionz) hav ekode ↓ 2 us ovr 2000 yeerz; il papaz last werdz hav
made nwzppr hedlinez & wil b rmmbrd x chrch storianz; SCHIAVO (nuthr // iz they both had tubez: 1
4 breethn & 1 4 feedn) sed 0. If it iz true az jzuz klaimd th@ th 1
st
wil b last & th last 1
st
then th slave
83
wil b ofrd th ↑ pzishn @ th CELESTIAL tabl …. → Pyramid Hill (th staishn mastr (trane will rzume
srvice in 2 weekz) sed w shood vizt th nersn home (18/4. oh how hapy & wth wot grace & dgnity th
old laideez in th nersn homez wood die wth a few 00,000z dvoted dmirerz prayn outside th wndow sil
but orl they ask iz th@ sum1 hold thr h& (prfrbly @ home)) & th sprmrkt so w bort grapes & dil & ppr
& drove past th home) → (goin wst) → Boort (red ppr ovr kofee) → (lunch @ 1pm x th rodeside long
th Avoca rvr (beetz kisn tarmaks) sumwhr nrth of th Boort-Wycheproof rd (nrth of Bunguluke (c Vic
Roadz Cuntry Drktry map 28 H x 2)). Noted in th ppr th@ il papaz last werd iz now sed 2 hav bn
AMEN) → …. Wycheproof (lookout, krap) → Birchip (Mallee Bull) → Beulah (muralz) → Brim (2
stubeez; here ovrnite; th lake whch Iv nvr cn wth H2O in it iz stil dry (c 21/9/02 - 3/10/02 p 8); I
kan heer th horntn flutey korl of a Pied Butcherbird (Cracticus nigrogularis); mite reed a bit of
Roberto Calassoze (18/4. had 4gotn I had prmsd mslf nevr 2 reed nuthr Calasso book so 2day I →
(th rseet → DiaCnAdSrTeRaO (8/4/07. 2klaemtaksddukshn)) LfOrVaEnCkE wthout fnshn it) ‘K’, pub x
Alfred A Knopt © 2005. ISBN 1-4000-4189-9).
4/7/05 ( Melbourne → Sydney (no. 60)). Stayin here 4 th dai. → bed @ 7 pm larst nite
& ↑ @ 10 am 2dai. Wv bn here b4. I did n majr ARTE POSTALE projkt ovr 1½ weeks yeerz go from
wch rtklz → my own & my kidz +rsz wer held bak. On th@ kazion I → th shorz & snorkld (up 2 5
hourz in H2O in a dai), fotode rstrkshn (22/9/05. u r spoezd 2 wotch owt 4 ppl dooin stuf like th@ now
& REPORT (28/9/05. sor a gie n th siti ystrdae carrying 2 full bakpaks, 1 n eech sholdr – but ie ddnt
rport him) → HOTLINE (28/9/05. c Port Germein p 15-17)) sinez (sum kan b msntrprtd), bort n
dtaeld topo sheet ← th shop, uzd mi bnokularz (•d x 2 Powerful Owl (Ninox strenua)). Sum yeerz l8r
I red n n book x Helen Caldicott th@ thr iz a joint US/OZ THEATRE MISSILE DEFENCE PROGRAM
bein tstd here. Givn my name (11/10/05. N th larst paej (136 r) of th 3
rd
koedks of n 13
th
snchri
Hebrew Biebl n th Ambrosian Library n Milan z n pkchr (n th 4m of n wingd grifn) of th priemeevl berd
Ziz.) haz a rabk ppeerns if it had bn post Sept 11 I wood hav bn serchd (maib terrrg8d & hens not bn
abl 2 dfnd mislf or evn tel H) & probli framed & orl kindz of dfamtri stuf (I uzd n fotoe of Yallourn powr
st8shn blchn smoke like n nukulr xplozion 4 1 of mi erli peesz) wood hav bn leekd x guvt jnseez 2 th
pres. Th larst sntns waz ntruptd x a 1+ howr knvrs8shn wth n lokl. I wont giv n kkount of it xpt th@ he
sez th fsh sold in thez parts az Pacific Dory iz kchrli a speeseez of k@fsh (24/9/05. (GR& FINAL
(25/9/05. Cygnus atratus ↓d Aquila audax)) Ystrdi @ th NOVA w sor n dokoe korld ‘Darwin’s
Nightmare’ O how Nile Perch (> Barramundi) → Coles sprmrkts & now ie 1t b aebl 2 x eni bkoz if ie
eet it iel b rmiendd of th mzri of th ppl on th shorz of Lake Victoria (2
nd
lrgst (ftr Lake Baikal ie think)
fresh H2O laek n th O) in Tanzania hoo k@ch it) mprtd ← Vietnam. He lso sez he herd n Powerful
Owl larst nite neer here & thr iz probli n nest az thei r rglrli cn O th rzrv wch iz just bhind a beech korld
ABRAHAMS (26/9/05. Th sors of DRUaMlMeOcNDZ stori (c 15/4/02 – 26/4/02 p 3): “There are
12 Tzadikim (Righteous People) on earth – only 12. They maintain creation through their
righteousness. If ever there’s less than 12, creation will end.” z shorli ← GENESIS ch 18.32
whr god spoek 2 abraham (n n dream? I kant rmmbr thoe I red it nli ystrdi n n kopi of th biebl lent 2 mi
x Ross 2 dorz ↓ n Miller st hoo had bn givn it x th armenian paetriark n JERUZALEM) & sed: “I will
not destroy it for ten’s sake.” (7/10/05. giambVaItCtOista (1668-1744) (8/10/05. 1 of th moest
ndr8d flosfrz) sed w shood wlkum dark tiemz az thei prvied n nssri kndshn 4 th mrjns of th h&ful of
gr8 men hoo saev mankiend & nisi8 th nue aej.)) BOSOM (12.25 pm) ….. Walked under and over
Beecroft Head – first along the rock shelves at the bottom and then across the top via Mermaid Beach and
Coslango Tunnel, where a fissure in the rocks passes under the headland out to a rock ledge high above
the water. Off to Sydney tomorrow. A fishing boat let out a lengthy net but didn’t seem to catch anything,
despite seeding the water with chook mash (a local fisherman said they were after garfish). Itz 5.05 & Iv
got a botl of SHEAF STOUT waitn ….. Drinkn n botl of stout rapt in a brown ppr bag iz O az stylish az
u kan get I rekn & H just rmrkt th@ I look th part.
11/7 /05 ( ↑North (no. 61)). Sydney (10.00am) ↑N → Beuladelah (red ppr ovr x 2 shot
mug latté) → (Black-necked stork (lso korld Jabiru (Ephippiorhynchus asiaticus))) → Kempsey
(‘city of cedars’; bort petrl; H sor a wite hors. Noel (her dad) (c 7/2/02 – 22/2/02 p 14,15)) reknd if
u c 1 in a padk it bringz luk if u spit on yor fingr & make th sine of th † on yor shoo - so w dun it.) →
Urunga (sleepn n our sual ● x th rvr nxt 2 th golf kors: hav ritn this ntri in th pub (‘Ocean View’) on th
4shor; pot of beer; 6.05pm).
18/7 /05. Did gorgeous walks today along the courses of 2 creeks where the scenery was
spectacular. The Kangaboola creek runs in a gorge about the width of a train tunnel, but with high sides, so
that the floor is rarely sunlit. The Kamaloo creek has a wider floor to run over, and many ferns growing on
84
rock ledges, as well as cabbage palms, gums and a wide variety of ground covers, one of which exudes a
wonderful aroma when trodden on. Tree ferns are common too, as well as birds nest ferns and maidenhair
growing on the walls where seepage occurs. The sandstone cliffs tower above, and you can see the
scrubby gums growing on their tops. Judging by the log jams we scrambled over, both creeks can carry
flood water in quantity. Tomorrow we head for Emerald to stock up on food, so John is up at the shower
block as we don’t know when the next one will be. At tea-time a currawong swooped away with a slice of
bread John was going to have as part of a sandwich. They are a large bird with beady eyes ringed in bright
yellow and have obviously learnt that food is available where people congregate, and if they ganged up
could be quite intimidating (big, horny beaks!). I saw one cleaning up the BBQ plate in the kitchen area
this morning. Their cheek is forgiven because their call is beautifully melodious. Pied Currawong
(Strepera graculina). Larst nite woz listnn 2 th hootn of a Barking Owl (Ninox connivens). Th
praktsz of 2rsts uzin th park r just az ntrstn 2 mi. Thei kook meelz in th kitchn Ez (3 of m) whch r hewj
(snagz, risolez, staiks) & mor labor8 than mi & H kook @ home (suali w eet out but). Thr seemz 2 b a
smbiotk rl8shnshp btween 4x4s & wine drinkn – on our 1
st
nite heer I kowntd th@ mor than ½ th ppl
in th kitchn Ez wer bibn wine wth thr dinr. Most notisbl of orl iz th@ wth hardli n xspshn thei r kwpmnt
junkeez. Th famli whch rplaist th Casino minstr hav brort vrythn whch foldz & nfoldz (eg 10t foldz out
of trailr; foldn chairz wth rm rsts & padd baks; foldn bedz (2/11. Joe & Rasa (c Melbourne →
Sydney p 16) wood hav ♥dt)) + a ktchn sink (wth a hoze → bukt 4 waist H2O). Tz sad th@ th
same mpulsz (eg 2 bleev wot thei r told x dvrtizerz, teli, travl magz (3/11. & poltshnz)) whch leed thm
2 kwire orl th junk (whch thei r lwaiz bangn & r@ln) lso prvnt thm from doin th kind of → w dun 2dai.
Insdntli u got 2 get prmshn from th rainjrz → OFF TRACK whch w nvr dun az thei mite hav sed NO
sins w wernt proprli EQUIPT & 1s thei giv permshn thei kcept a ‘duti of kair’. Yet th gr8 → w did kood
hav bn dun x eni jri@rk or chile. Ystrdi I sor a ♀ wth her →n boot (of th kind whch “giv nkl suprt” & lais
up mpteen timez ovr hooks) off koz ♀ had a blistr. Theez bootz r hevi & vrheet th feet bkoz thei r
dzined in europ & th US 4 snow yet ths ♀ woz wairn thm on th ded fl@ parth 2 th nd of th main gorj.
U woodnt hav dun th → w did 2dai in thm koz thei taik 2 much f4t 2 take on & off & 2 kari wen u hav 2
waid in H2O. I giv theez xmplz not from a wish 2 rdkule 2rsts but 2 prvide a meta4 whch iz pplkbl 4
knsidrn wot kindz of bagj u must leev bhind wen u mbark on jerneez in SPEKUL@V THORT.
(15/3/07. Completion of Mondays from folder 6 (nos. 52-61 of anthology))
25/7 /05 ( Tropika - 1 ( no. 62)). Speaking of thick-knees, that thick-head Howard said
(14/12. ystrdai hi sed th Cronulla riot whr nli pplv midl eestrn ppeerns wer targtd woznt raesist (15/12.
how eezi 2 rlees this niml (16/12. v meni dsgiezs (17/12. ← Tent Posts x MIhCeHnArUiX (c
16/2/04 – 27/2/04 p 8): “In a highly developed society, its essential for cruelty, hate, and
domination, if they want to hold on, to camouflage themselves, taking on the aids of
mimicry. Camouflage into opposites is the most common. That’s in fact how those full of
hate, claiming to speak solely for others, can best demoralize, suppress, paralyze. That’s
the direction from which you’d better get ready to meet them.”)) from its kaej n th SUB
KORTX eevn n th moest tolrnt sosieti) butn “quite unacceptable” “outbreak of domestic
discord”) today that the incident of the killing (5 bullets) of a Brazilian subsequently found to be
uninvolved in the London bombings was “not central to the issue” – WRONG John!!. It is THE central issue:
when, in a parliamentary democracy where the rule of law and the principle of due process are imbedded
in the constitution (7/12. but thei rntn th OZ 1), a person can be EXECUTED by unidentified operatives of
the state, and the authorities comment on it as “regrettable”, we have ALREADY LOST the war on terror.
Still, you’ve got to expect stuff like that from economists and lawyers. Another one, an associate Prof at a
NSW uni was quoted a few days ago in the Courier Mail as saying that we don’t want too many African
refugees here as they have low IQs and high testosterone! He is also openly connected with a White
Supremacy movement. HoWARd must take full responsibility (7/12. ie dsgree. Th ppl hoo voetd 4 hm
shair rsponsblti (8/12. ← 2daez The Age p14: “Tyranny ¶ NO LONGER “silent”, the majority
in this country have forged for themselves a tyranny. John Stuart Mill, founding father of
liberalism, had this to say: “The will of the people … practically means the will of the
most numerous or the most active part of the people; the majority, or those who
succeed in making themselves accepted as the majority. The people, consequently may
desire to oppress a part of their number, and precautions are as much needed against
this as against any other abuse of power.” ¶ With the passage of the Industrial Relations
and Terrorism legislation, those precautions, to which we have become accustomed in
Australia’s liberal society, have now been swept away. ¶ Nicholas Low, Warrandyte”).)
for unleashing this racist hate-mongering. It would please him no end, I’m sure, to see all the Aussie flags
flying in the caravan and mobile home parks we’ve driven past. Today we resumed our crawl north, to
85
Tully, the wettest town in Australia (over 4000 mm of rain/year) whose identifier is a giant gum-boot as
you enter the town. Couldn’t find a decent coffee place, so moved on to Mission Beach, which strikes me
as quite groovy with its small village and broad beach, fringed by jungle and plenty of coconut palms. John
has developed a coconut fixation and finds it hard not to pick up ones that look ready to eat – we now
have 9! Had a coffee and shared a Greek salad at a place called, appropriately, Café Coconutz. After a few
walks, including one along the beach, we are here again to do the journal. On the way here we did a walk –
very jungley, with tall palms of many types, but dominated by the huge leaved fan palms. There are
Cassowary warnings here – apparently they can be aggressive. 2nite w ntnd 2 park @ th bote rampn
Mission Beach nth hope th@ th sine z u ntr th town wch sez u kant kamp nth 4shr duznt pply 2 bote
ramps. Bsidez w r not kampn n n 10t but sleepn n n van. Tz 7.30 & Im O 2 x mi 2
nd
glars of
RUMNKOKE b4 kntnuin reedn WrAoLbSeErRtz The Walk (4/2/08. 2da Walserz The Assistant
rr¤vd x ← Amazon) wch Im njoin vri much z I hav th uthr (2/12/07. eg Jakob von Gunten wch ¤
fnsht n ystrda) storeez x him. I think yoov put mi n2 a ritr, m8. Yair, drinkn RUMNKOKE, reedn
WrAoLbSeErRt n n jewlie evnn n th sidework, wth H bside mi reedn WOMANS DAY, mung th
KOKONUTZ – wot mor kood u want?
1/8/05. Raind n&off orl nite sumtiemz hevli. ← @ Innisfail w red th ppr vri slowli @ Il
Fiorentino whr mie x2 shot mug of l@é kost $4.30. @ leest thei no how 2 maken deesnt kofi heer. If u
want 2b shor u r torkn 2n loakl tork 2 sum1 hoo looks talian. Red n th ppr th@n th home cuntri thei r
goin2 lok up muzlm ♀z if thei r kort warin n berka (tz so huemid Im swetn tho Im sitn heer NAIKID; th
waivz r braikn 20mtrs wae (H haz chekt th tied chart); tz 7.50pm; w r n Russel National Prk O 10kz
↑Nv Bramston Beach (wer Iv bn b4 (c GULF TRIP) ftr dvise fromn lokl hoo told us 2 gnor th 4x4 sine
(I waiddn fue pudlz 2 chek th fermns & dpth) n n veri kosi ● n jungl rite nxt 2 beech s&; I sor a fue
Orange Footed Scrubfowl (Megapodius reinwardt) neer x.) L8r w bort n mbrla bkozt woz rainn
kntnuousli. H rang th kidz n Melb: Michaelz OK; Joe kntnuze hiz drivin lesnz (21/12. got hiz liesns
larst week) wth Ben; K8 & Dan r fine. Th ppr haz orlv QLD n n rainE & w r n th epi• vt 4 th nxt 4 daiz
@ leest & I rekn twil b n O week b4t kleerz this E f @ orl (but tz not rainn now). W doent no wot 2 do
n thoez kndshnz so w potrd O town – chekt out th op-shop; bort n peesv fsh fromn rkmndd fshop &
tho twoz Spansh Makrl twoz good & not @ orl drie. Rlier H had sed I mite z wel giv up trien 4 good
fsh n th tropkl koast. I woent bor u wth n kkountv th lnthi dskshnz Iv hadn th subjkt wth vrius
fshmungrz nkludin th main splierv frsh fsh n Innisfail but f u r reeli ntrstd u kan arsk mi wen w r bakn
Melb. Then w setldn @ th Imperial Tavern wer H dm&d n RUM & KOKE (1) & plaid th pokeez ($1).
So did I. Th rain eezd mid rvo so w → Eubenangee Swamp (short →) & → Bramston Beach (wer w
had t vrlookn th beech @ th bote ramp n bit ↓S) → here (vri groovi ●; neerst bigr townz Babinda. Wn
w got heer w dskvrd w r just O outv H2O but f w run short w hav 6 leetrzv milk & 7 KOKONUTZ eech
wth sum KOKONUT MILK. Now th@ w both hav mbrlaz w kan go 4 →s heer 2moro.
8/8/05 ( Tropika – 2 ( no. 63)). Crossed the Daintree River (18/1. ← GULF TRIP:
“09.09.97 Kellogs KOMPLETE ¶ Professor, Be careful when you take the ferry across the Daintree
River, you will see the $7 sign to get across just as you’re already on the ferry. That’s ONE WAY. If
you havent got the message straight away, you will when you find out the locals pay $15 for a year’s
ticket. They keep very quiet about it. They call it the ‘user pays principle’ but education aint good
here. If you still don’t get it you probably will when you buy a loaf of sliced white bread at Cow Bay
store for $3 (Yowah, Normanton, Karumba $1.90). If you still don’t understand note that there are
‘NO CAMPING’ signs everywhere and they is policed and there are even more ‘FOR SALE’ signs.
Still wonderin? Talk to the Ranger (not here on weekends), he’ll explain that in QLD you are not
allowed to camp in any state forest and in this park only 20 spots are provided by the park authority.
Rest are expensive private ones. You probably know that in Vic & NSW the forestry people put out
brochures asking you to camp in state forest so you come to love the wilderness without the
mediation of the tourist industry. The penny may drop (I know youse is getting old) when the scuba
diving instructress tries to talk everyone into a scuba lesson of 1 hour for $50 on top of the $58
you’ve already paid to snorkel the reef, and she tells you she’ll teach you even if you cant swim!
You’ll recognize her by the moustache and she’ll probably hate ya cos she’ll think you’re a cynic so
when she asks ya where you are stayin don’t say you’re going to sleep on the beach cause she’ll tell
ya that SLEEPING ON THE BEACH is verboten and that they check for ya! I is still not payin but!
And I is staying cause the natural attributes here are fantastic. I mean the jungle and the coral reef
though I cant shell out for that again but may get onto some more off the road south of Port Douglas
where reef reaches coast. Now a little lesson for ya. Pina COLATA = Malibu + Bacardi + Pineapple
juice + Coconut cream. ¶ Good health ¶ a …z”) into the Promised Land ($16 return) (18/1.← GULF
86
TRIP: “Cape Tribulation 06.09.97.¶ Prof, tourists (other than me) can spoil things but this area,
Cape Tribulation, is so good there is still plenty leftover. But I am getting sick of kokonits as I is eating
½ - 1 everyday for lunch. I am still on a learning curve with em and if I want a drink I only pick the
greenish ones just when the end is starting to go brown.Yes I have become wasteful like any good
tourist should be but it doesn’t matter here as the jungle turkeys love em and one is trying to snatch a
coconut from my hand right now. Talking about snatches, I came across a couple screwing on the
beach but I wasn’t responsible for coitus interruptus as they took their own good time even though
they saw me coming. I was only going to say hello but I heard her say something like ‘merde’ or
‘maird’, something foreign anyway, in a rude sort of way. He had a paunch and was elderly and
managed to look quite rich even though he was naked and lying on his back. She was young and
doing all the work. I though that she might be poorer than him. It seemed like a good sort of
arrangement. There are heaps of foreigners here and I hope you wont be offended, you being a
lifuanian, if I say that the country is getting overrun by Germans, Frenchies, Poms etc and that they is
better catered for here because they is richer than the locals like meself who is poor. But I am using
me nut and squeezing a lot out of the lemon, or whatever. Tonight I am paying for accomodashin for
the first time as there is a private place ($9/night) where you can stop in a fantastic jungle, even
though not altogether pristine. I thought it would be nice to be parked in this tropik garden for my last
day or two here. It is just north of Cape Trib and is called Pilgrims Beach (20/1. noe longrn gzstns –
now nfansi beechsied bar). I recommend it to all 3 of youse and it affects people so much that many
of them wander about on the beach starkers. Now that’s something you don’t see in the real jungle
which I was investigatin yesterday when I walked up Emmagen Creek and I saw two big pigs when I
was investigating side creeks. Nature is writ in the large here – the creeks have more water, the
water is more krystal cleer, there are more fish and they like to get close, and the jungle is so, so
wonderfill. But the ranger sprung me trying to park by the river for the night and chased me away so I
had to go to another place I wasn’t supposed to be in. This mornin (and on other days) I was checkin
out where the reef meets the shore. It does that here and south of Port Douglas and its not as
fantastico as further out but is still great and I saw some fish that were just as big but far fewer
colourful fish. Still it is really good and there is the element of surprise when you come across a real
big one hiding under a ledge whereas on the big reef you get jaded after a while. My sense of
amazement can only take so much. The jungle is another matter and it changes a lot and I don’t think
anyone is silly enough to go into it except me. This morning I walked in a mangrove for a while and
you know what? the mud wasn’t as oozy as you’d think. It’s the roots of the mangrove trees that
really stop you and you cant go along the creek in the middle cause you wonder about the krok. Now
as for them kokonits. On some beaches they have all been pierced by a local rodent and on others
especially where spikes have been put in, the tourists pierce all the good ones to drink them so it
pays to stock up if you want only the very best quality. But be warned, it is very hard to pick up and
carry more than 5 kokonuts at the same time and in the islands there must be many sayings about
people who try to do it e.g. “man who try to carry too many kokonits in the hand have very small
kokonit on the shoulders.” On a more serious note and in line with the educational stuff you’d go for
prof, it is worth noting that kokonits are getting out of hand on the tropik coast and run the risk of
squeezing out other vegetation. Do somethin bout it! Now to completely change the topic, I think I
forgot to tell you that the Atherton Tablelands where I was a week ago smell different. Musty sort of
and very nice. I bought a cup of coffee at Atherton coz back in Melbourne I buy a bean from here and
I wanted to pay homage to the place in that way. The coffee was made from Mareeba brand beans
but WAS NOT very good. My regards to all the staff espeshally that little fella Rudi, and Lyn too. ¶
p.s. Forgot to mention that there is boardwalks everywhere in northern QLD and they are making
heaps more all the time. Tourists love em and for an intro they is pretty but nothing like the real think.
The real thing is so good that I realise now I’v been wastin my time making that stupido, pathetic
garden in Ivanhoe. NO more gardens for me from now on in. ¶ p.s. You know (from your reading or
telly) how in country towns nearly all the girls and grown wimmin too are very fat sometimes
(especially in the mallee), well all these foreign sorts that lounge about ½ or more nakid – they is very
thin and lissom. No fat types even among the locals. Interesting huh? Turn that into a theory if ya
can. Best to your ole grey matter! ¶ A…Z”) which is characterized by lots of businesses promising lots of
experiences. We favoured the National Parks boardwalks which were quiet, excellently maintained and
free. There are only 4 in the whole section between the River and Cape Tribulation – the Jindalba, the
Marrdja, the Dubiji and Kulki. The last is a lookout on Cape Trib. with a 350m walk which we will do on the
return journey. There are 9 privately managed rainforest areas, 6 river cruises, 4 grocery shops, 20
restaurants/coffee shops, 1 pharmacy, 1 horseriding operator, 3 kayaking businesses, 2 reef tours, 4
87
fishing tour operators, 1 spa, 15 b&bs/farmstays, 7 campsites, 13 resorts, 2 farms (Tea and Exotic Fruit)
and 1 mechanic – all in about 35ks of road. To be honest, some of the resorts double as restaurants, but
even so that’s some concentration of commerce in the remote rainforest! This forest is one of the very few
remaining pockets of so-called Gondwanaland rainforest left in the world – a closed eco-system of
tremendous complexity and beauty. Much of it has been cleared in the past for mining, timber-felling,
grazing, sugarcane, pineapples, bananas, and people wanting their slice of tropical seclusion. The pressure
of people is still increasing. There are lots of houses here, invisible from the roads, hidden by dense
surrounding jungle. The beaches by contrast are lightly used though the sand here is fine and soft and
packs firmly to allow pleasant walking. The small creeks (Hutchinson, Cooper, Noah, Thompson, Rykers,
Blockade, and Emmagen) are crystal clear and flow over rocks. The last has a magnificent swimming hole
upstream from where we are parked for the night – the most northerly we’ll get as a 4x4 is needed to ford
the creek and drive on to Cooktown, 120ks away. We are again illegally parked but will take the risk as it’s
a great spot and theoretically should be quiet after dark. H telz mi th@ wn ♀ torkt2 Dan ystrdi ♂ sed ♂m
& Ben hav bkum vjtairianz. Ie bet xth tiem wr bak theilb eetn meet wth th restvus (25/3/07. thei r).
2dai @ our moest ↑li ● w krakt th botlv ‘Murdering Point (20/1. c Tropika – 1 p20) (Romance)’ lichee
wien dskriebdz: “Absolutely breath taking Murdering Point Winery introduces a wine of exquisite beauty and grace.
Lychee fruit is noted as a symbol of romance, and this lychee wine will enhance all romantic experiences. Aromatic lychee
and honey flavours, sweet, amazingly spicy and perfectly balanced by crisp acidity and a hint of passion, this is a wine that
simply has no peers. This is as good as it gets. One of the most exciting and extraordinary tropical wines ever produced.
Like all romance it is impossible not to crave for more.” 2 mark th kkaezion. Mie thril jewrn th dae woz 2 ● 2
Wompoo Fruit-dovez (Ptilinopus magnificus) nth jungl kanopi. Iev ofn herd thr ♪♫ (lowd: ‘Wallocka-
woo’) wthout c-n 1. Th uthr nue berd ie sor wozn Black Butcherbird (Cracticus guoyi). @Daintree w
sorn bloek hoo kartd orl hiz stuf nn biek & hoo woznt aebl2 speek & 2niet ie woz torkn2n yank hoo
haz shiftd → OZ & hoo duznt hav2werk gain n ♂z lief koz ♂ selz ntoilt ppr wth th faesv gBeUoSrHge
nit wth th kapshn: “They misunderestimated me” – Bush on Bush, November 6, 2000 & lso
“We need an energy bill that encourages consumption” – Bush on the environment,
Septemb-er 23, 2002; “Bring ‘em on” – Bush on Iraqi militant attacks, July 3, 2003. ♂
gaevus nsampl. Wn ie woz parktn this ● b4 n rainjr 4st mi 2 moov → buttz dark & 7.06 & wr stil heer.
Thrzn sien † th roed wornnv KROKS but ie hadn swim nn deep pool neerx n litl b4 dusk. Ie spiltn ful
glarsv ‘ROMANCE’ nsied th van (drank 2 skoonrzv beer @PKs @th kaep) & iem nth proessv fnshnoff
thbotl now. Lief zshort.
88
15/8 /05. Today is the 60
th
anniversary of the end of the war in the Pacific and the diggers and
their families were assembling in Atherton for the commemoration march, along with a contingent of
sailors, soldiers and cadets and the local high school kids. I remember being in Ivanhoe on Anzac Day
when a local group of ex-servicemen and women marched from Waterdale Road up the hill to the Town
Hall. I was surprised to find myself shedding a tear, being an anti-nationalist, anti-war type. You can rail
against the glorification of war, but these marches don’t do that – they simply express the memory of a
horrible duty done, probably mostly unwillingly and with sadness, at great personal cost to each individual
involved. While we were having coffee a reporter from the local paper asked John for his opinion on the
issue “Should women serve on the frontlines?” His response was that nobody should serve on the
frontlines. Then she took his photo and promised to send him a copy of the paper (19/1. & ♀ dunt – c
Tablelands Advertiser (Wednesday, August 17, 2005). p5). There’s his 15 minutes of fame gone
(or at least 2 of them). Atherton is the biggest town on the Tablelands and the worst served - by a Woolies
supermarket. No Italian influence in the products or in the atmosphere of the town. Safeway is coming,
according to a bloke we chatted to at our lake spot in Tinaburra, so that may improve the quality of the
edibles available for the poor locals. In the local rag in the Yungaburra pub I read an article about the
Caravan Park Owners Association complaining (19/1. c Tropika – 1 p18) of the free (donation only)
camping spot near the Rocky Valley War Memorial. In 5 years time you’ll be hard put to find a non-paying
spot anywhere in coastal Queensland, including the Tablelands I bet. Left the area behind at Mt Garnet
where John had a shocker of a hamburger with no meat pattie at all – only salad, bacon and onion. That
makes it no. 2 on the top 10 list of disastrous burgers, no. 1 still proudly held by the Charters Towers
bubble’n’squeak effort. …(20/1. 4 dleeshn c Savannah)… W r parkt 4 th niet nfue 00 yardz ← The
Savannah Way neer th bankv th Einesleigh rivr. Ree th ishuev WAR (nkluedn & sspshli WARnEVIL):
TZ BETR 2 B KILD THAN 2 KIL NUTHR. & TZ BETR 2 HAV NEVR BN BORN THAN 2 TRCHR
(20/1.Torture ,sb . 1540. [a.F., ad. L. tortura, f. torquere, tort- to twist, torment] 1. The infliction of excruciating pain, as
practised by cruel tyrants, savages, brigands, etc., in hatred or revenge, or as a means of extortion, etc.; spec. judicial t.,
inflicted by a judicial or quasi-judicial authority, for the purpose of forcing an accused or suspected person to confess, or an
unwilling witness to give evidence or information; a form of this (often in pl.) 1551. †b. transf. An instrument or means of
torture –1772. 2. Severe or excruciating pain or suffering (of body or mind); anguish, agony, torment; the infliction of such
1540. b. transf. A cause of severe pain or anguish 1612. 3. transf. and fig. Severe pressure; violent perversion or ‘wresting’;
violent action or operation; severe testing or examination 1605. 1. To put to (the) t., to inflict t. upon, to torture. 2. The tortures of
suspense 1797. b. An ugly picture was t. to his cultivated eye 1873. 3. Much so-called wit .. is nothing more than the systematic t. of words 1887.¶
To•rtur e, v. 1588. [f. prec.] 1. Trans. To inflict torture upon; spec. to subject to judicial torture; to put to the torture 1593. 2.
To inflict severe pain or suffering upon; to torment; to distress or afflict grievously; also, to puzzle or perplex greatly. Also
absol. to cause extreme pain. 1588. 3. fig. a. to act upon violently in some way, so as to strain, twist, distort, etc. 1626. b.
To ‘twist’ (language, etc.) from the proper meaning or form; to distort 1648. 4. To extract by torture; to extort (rare) 1687. 1.
Slowly tortured to death by the Turks 1847. 2. Jeffreys was .. tortured by a cruel internal malady MACAULAY. 3. The Bow tortureth the String
continually, and thereby holdeth it in a Continuall Trepidation BACON. b. To t. Scripture for the defending of his errors 1648. Hence To•rturer, one
who or that which inflicts or causes torture; a tormentor; spec. one who executes judicial torture. To•rturingly adv.) OR KONDOEN (29/1.
30/11/04 - 9/12/04 p 15; & Port Germein p 8) TRCHR…
… cont . ( Savannah (no. 64)). Did a creek walk along the remaining pools of the
Einesleigh River which in flood must be an awesome sight. The markers reach 4m in height along the road
beyond the bridge and the river bed is hundreds of metres wide littered with huge stones and extensive
gravel beds. John had a swim/wash in the first pool we came to and forged ahead to the next larger one.
As I trudged along behind, cursing the shifting gravel, I heard from a distance a very loud splash of what
was obviously a substantial croc going into the water. After I got there John saw his eyes and snout just
above the water line giving us the once over before he submerged again. That made us a bit leery about
the next swim, but we did have one in a smaller pool further upstream on the way back. We also saw his
drag marks and the marks of much smaller ones. We presumed it was a freshwater one, but you never
know – apparently the salties can travel long distances upstream from the coast when the rivers are in
flood. Wr prkt4 thniet nfue 00 yrdz ← Savannah (17/2/06. Savann ah. 1555 [In 16
th
c. zavana, a. Sp. zavana,
çavana, perh. a Carib word] A treeless plain;prop., one of those in parts of tropical America. ¶ attrib. : s. flower , a W.
Indian name for various species of Echites; s. fox , Vulpes cancrivora s.sparr ow, a sparrow of the genus Passerculus,
esp. P savanna, common throughout the greater part of N. America; -wattle , the W. Indian trees Citharexylum
quadrangulare and C. cinereum.) Way n· thbankvth Einesleigh rvr …..(4 dleeshn Tropika – 2) ….. Nth
uthr siedvth brj nxt2th hiewae thrzn plark wch sez: “this plaque is dedicated ¶ to the ¶ memory
of members of the Jardine expedition ¶ Frank lascelles jardine, expedition leader, 23
years of age ¶ archibald j. Richardson, government surveyor ¶ roy m. binney, alfred
cowdrey, charles j. scrutton ¶ and aborigines eulah, peter, sambo and barney ¶ who
passed this way on the 14
th
october, 1864 while droving 254 head of cattle together with
42 horses from carpentaria downs station to cape york – a journey of 5 months duration.
89
¶ “such men as these made our nation” ¶ erected by etheridge shire council on the
28
th
october 1989 ¶ gold ¶ gold ¶ gold ¶ the golden shire” (6.20). (3/8/08. One of my paternal
great grandfathers was a miner living at Woolshed Creek in The Great Goldfield of northern Victoria when
he married my great grandmother at nearby Yackandandah in 1855).
Mundae (12/3 Mo nday . [OE. Monandaeg, f. monan, gen. of mona MOON sb. + daeg DAY; tr. late L.
Lunae dies.] The second day of the week. ¶ But soft, What day is this? M., my Lord SHAKS. Black M. , (a) a name for Easter M., (b)
school slang, the first school day after a vacation. Saint M., used with reference to the practice among workmen of being idle on M., as a
consequence of drunkenness on Sunday; chiefly in to keep Saint M. 1753. Hence Monday ish a. affected with the indisposition, often felt by
clergymen on Monday, resulting from Sunday’s work 1804.) 22/8/05 ( Outback (no. 65)). 8am. Wv spntthn¤t @
thvri + whr thstr¤kn sh·rz wr ▲t. Winton woz plaist ndr marshl lor & now n2005 wr freeli gvnwae
thr¤ts thei 4t 4. Nnue aejz kumn &th ~z & trrrg8rz rlredi nt^n ….→ 15kz ↓S thrue Bladensburg
National Park → ° hole (“This was the site of a massacre of aborigines (13/12/08.
Thursday 2/10/08) in retaliation for the murder of a teamster. Sergeant Moran, then in
charge of the Winton Police Station, proceeded to track the murderers. When attacked,
he dealt punitive measures to his assailants. This climaxed at Skull Hole, where the tribe
was massacred by black troopers.” - & thr GOESTS rnot h·rd n·liaz lowdliaz thGOESTv
thSWAG·(13/2. praps orl svl¤zaeshnz r propt↑ x such hpokr z – thwax&waenv Heraklitus
(tmaed ♂mth ‘kr¤n flosfr’); Nietschez ( DANYO RESERVE p 16,17 & June 28 p 17,18,19) ‘wil
→ powr’; Pascalz ( 11/8/02 – 21/8/02 p 5) klaem th@ m needz rdmshn (14/2. x10shnv b-in
born & d¤nv ndvjuelz @th levlv sos¤ti – 4t maeb sum must d¤ (↓) 4 uthrz 2b born (↑) (….
soe m¤ dv¤sz fue vlue yor helth (thoe tz notn grntee) leev2 zr wot blongz2 zr)) zndk8d x
thbroeshuer nglktn 2··shn thd8v thMASSACRE) → Winton, to shop up, use the ATM, have a drink
over the paper, ring the boys to let them know we are heading west to Boulia and probably Birdsville. Dan
said that Tony Kesminas had been round with a guy who will do the guttering (12/3. dd nxpnsv ($3000)
job, bustd nledl¤t paen nth frunt wndoe, rekt thv¤n nthfruntv thµ, stil havn drip oevr thfrunt steps,
ddnt fix th leeknth shdroof zkwoetd - meen Tony wozwae nlthoel& helpn Danius wth ngzbshn
nKlaipėda)etc. Rang Michael yesterday to let him know his birthday card for the 28
th
is on the way. Rang
Joe – Katie answered since Joe was meditating and said she’d pass on our intended westward route to him.
Now at Conn Hole, 4ks off the Winton-Boulia road, about 60ks from Winton and 300ks to Boulia. Conn Hole
is very large and, as with all the waterholes in this country, a fawny-yellow colour from the clay particles
suspended in it (Combo Waterhole was red-brown). On the way in we drove past a beef herd and one of
the youngsters actually charged us – perhaps a cousin of the half grown bull who turned and started to
butt the horse of one of the contestants in the camp draft we watched at Burke and Wills Roadhouse. We
are entering Channel Country – an area drained by thousands of channels which comprise the Diamantina,
Thompson and Barcoo Rivers. They drain south and west ultimately into the Lake Eyre Basin. In extreme
floods huge areas of the country can be submerged. Winton has had floods invade the lower part of the
town regularly. The area is in good condition due to the recent rain but by comparison with the
regenerating vegetation in the Bladensburg NP it seems quite degraded. Skull Hole was very beautiful with
the perfume of cassia bushes filling the air and the contorted trunks of miniature River Redgums shining
white among the green of a big variety of plants. On the plain were extensive stretches of Mitchell grass,
whereas outside the park it is being replaced over large areas by two kinds of prickle bushes – one with
long spines and the other with small furry seeds which will turn into burrs as they dry out. The Channel
Country is touted in the tourist brochures as the richest sheep and cattle fattening area in Australia but
perhaps the writers havent been to the Western District in Victoria, the Atherton Tablelands or the
Riverina. I suppose it may be something to do with the numbers catered for – the properties here are
huge. Colin Malone said the cattle industry is picking up as the overseas markets want animals free of Mad
Cow Disease. He said that a cow and calf can now fetch $1000 compared with $40 a few years ago and
the price of land is rising. Thr r··i vr¤teezv ·· O butth moest ♪sbl rth larj nmbrv Brolgas. Sor
sum Bujrgarz (Melopsittacus undulatus) 4 th1st t¤m nth trip. 3 daezgoe w sorth nli eemuez
(Dromaius novaehollandiae) vth trip. Thrr Kori Bustard (H rknz thr mor mprsv thanth Brolgaz) &
Red-winged Parrot (Aprosmictus erythropterus) h·2. ThH2O O zl¤nd x Coolibah treez
(Eucalyptus coolabah). Oyez, W mum ← Winton. Sheez havn thuthr ¤ dun 2moroe. NWinton d
np¤lv ¯z & bortn hmbrgr @th Matilda Centre & twoz prti good 4nchaenj. Shaevd, brusht mi teeth,
hadn . nConn O & thn took aejz 2 getth mud offmi feet. Th ☼z loe nth sk¤.
29/8 /05. On the road early, straight to Eulo and Cunnamulla. Eulo is the home of an annual
lizard race, a general store flogging opals and other souvenirs, a pub, and assorted houses. Cunnamulla
has 1200 people and doesn’t cater for tourists much at all apart from an info centre we didn’t visit and a
couple of souvenir shops at the end of the main street. It had a small IGA store where we got a green and
a red capsicum, 3 tomatoes and a cucumber as we had used up the last of our vegies in Yowah. John had a
90
hamburger at the IFS servo on the outskirts of town and pronounced it better than passable. The ‘café’ in
the town was selling instant coffee fizzed up with hot milk from one of those steamer contraptions for
$3.10 a mug. You’d have to be one to fall for that. The coffee at the servo was instant, self-serve and a
more reasonable $2. Stopped at Bollon to get a stubby and the publican told John that he’d had reports
from travellers that the Birdsville Races were not as good as yesteryear – too many cops with
breathalysers and huge queues for the showers/toilets. The countryside has changed markedly since
Yowah – the soil is still the outback red but there are bigger trees and the bush is quite dense. Saw feral
goats on the side of the road and a big pen of them just outside Cunnamulla and a flock of Major Mitchell
Cockatoos. Bollon is a small but nicely kept town on a nice stretch of creek dammed up by a weir but
we’ve driven on into a secluded area along a stock route among large trees for our spot for the night.
Callitris pines have begun to appear and emus are taking the place of brolgas and bustards. After tea we
went for a walk along the old road, now almost re-colonized by grasses and saw a family of pigs – about 20
– cross smartly into the dense growth. There were 2 adults and the rest were youngsters of diminishing
size till the last which was about the size of a large rabbit.
5/9/05 ( Windings (no. 66)). I think I have corrupted A…Z – he is planning where we can
go for wine and garlic bread each day! Did a stroll along the river to the opening where we saw a school
of salmon thick in the waves just off the causeway tantalizingly just out of reach of the fisherman on the
adjacent beach. Shopped up before we left S.W.Rocks. Investigated Ryan’s Cut where we have often
stayed – the sandbar is closed so the water is very high. Had a drink at the pub at Crescent Head and
wasted some dollars on the pokies. Now at Ryan’s Cut for tea and journal writing. Petrol at S.W.Rocks hit
133.9c for unleaded and 137.9 for premium unleaded in the wake of Hurricane Katrina (though I’m sure
the petrol in the storage tanks pre-dates her). Wonder what they’re charging at Bedourie (3/4. lftv
kuvrmapv & p 7v Outback) now. The weather is cooling as we head south and the wind was quite strong
off the ocean today. There is lovely country all along the coast between S.W.Rocks and Crescent Head with
many coral trees in evidence – they fill the niche taken by the African Tulip tree in the tropical north and
seem hard to kill. We saw many where lopped branches had simply taken root and kept on growing. Mor
UESZ & BUESZv lngwj. Nweekgoe thr woz nuthr 1v thoez nuezppr rtklz O how maeznli smlr w wr 2
chimps zvdnst xth dskvri w shaird 95%v owr DNA kwns. ¤v rmrkt nth rdukshnst naechrvth ssershn
b4 (6/4. 3/6/03 – 12/6/03 p 11 & 13) & now rpeet m¤ k··ts, taeknm nbit ferthr. Fmunkeez
shaird 0 DNA wth us but plaed thpianoe, red s & ↓t ATOM Z theiwdb mor l¤k us thanf thei
hd 100% saem DNA zus but hungowtn jnglz -n ndrumn thr chsts. W m¤t jstz eezli rgue th@
bkoz chimps EET & SHIT thr maeznli l¤k us rbkoz boeth µz & m r maed nt¤rli ← slz thr ¤
dntkl. Owr mstaek h·z2 dskr¤b thO ntermzvn part r sumvth parts wch maekt↑ (2/4. “I have
heard of a man who had a mind to sell his house, and therefore carried a piece of brick
in his pocket, which he shewed as a pattern to encourage purchasers.” – Jonathan Swift.)
wn eevn 2 dskr¤bt ntermzv orlth prts wdb nsu~nt. Nprtklr wv nnklnaeshn 2 (wth n¤ wch
b-n prtvth O knot tslf) thbodi zsepr8 fromts kshnz & thknskwnszvth kshnz (6/4. 11/11/02 –
20/4/02 p 9). Thknskwnszv WOTwDOO (¤ nklued lngwj & th 4maeshnv meenn) zhow wr
joind 2 thO wch owr kmprhnshn knot grasp bkoz wr subsjri 2t. Wr nli sl¤tli mor l¤k munkeez
thn wr l¤k ·· r ~~ r »» bkoz WOTwDOO spraetsus rrvokbli ← owr sluelr frndz. W
maek th saem rdukshnst mstaek (3/4. Howz ths 4 thknfuezionz ue getn2 wn yor wontn2 hvt
boethwaez? (&t wil hv2doo zm¤ trdshnl eestr (9/4. 12/4/03 – 24/4/03 p 13,14,15) rflkshn
(8/4/07. ddntdo1thsy·)): ← The Age p14 (2/4): “FAITH ¶ I’m in the process of giving up all I
believe about God. ¶ It’s pretty annoying actually, because I’ve only just sorted it all out.
¶ But there’s a tiny whisper deep inside me that’s growing louder. My well-constructed
words are beginning to feel hollow. The whisper has been fuelled by a line from a song
by an obscure Irish band that seems to me to be playing wherever I turn – the
soundtrack to my life: God, rid me of God. (Is this an Irish joke?) It seems the universe is
conspiring to make me let it all go. ¶ Christians believe that its through the life of Jesus
that we know who God is. But as we look at the time leading up to Jesus’ death, surely
we have to question our ability to do that. ¶ The Bible tells us that Jesus spent the weeks
before his death proving wrong everything people believed about God: that God would
rescue them, that God is only concerned about morals, not politics, that the leaders of
the established church have the inside knowledge about God. The recurring theme in
every one of these stories is that those who knew and loved Jesus best kept getting it
wrong. ¶ In Holy Week, Jesus stripped away everything the world thought it knew its
saviour should be, and his closest friends watched the God they knew die on a cross. ¶
Perhaps my intelligent, rational faith needs to be critiqued in a similar way: God, rid me
of God. ¶ The tradition I’ve grown up in values intelligent, rational faith. There’s another
91
stream of tradition – the Christian mystics – that offers an alternative. They say that all
we know of God touches only the edges of the mystery of the one we dare to call God.
Our words that describe God are like the rippling white foam at the edge of a vast sea.
They can only hint of who God is. Some mystics would even say that to presume to
speak of God is heresy. Forget using words to describe God, use them instead to describe
your yearning for God. ¶ I long to yearn for God. I long to move beyond playing with the
white foam, and to sink into the vast and endless sea. The only way to do so is to let go
of my hold on the story. I need to be willing to be stripped of all I know of God, in the
hope that I may once again find God. ¶ It’s enough to say now that all I know of God is
not enough, and to own the truth that much of all I know of God is wrong. So I let it go.
It’s an act of faith, my prayer for this week: God, rid me of God. ¶ Cheryl Lawrie works
with the Uniting Church in Australia on an Alternative Worship Project.”) wn w klaem th@
ngodz ¤¤ vri1z = (rth@ m v dfrnt kulchrz rth saem koz thei hv th saem ¤Qz etc, etc) but ¤ ♪is
eevn thbstv 1nz l¤k 2 havt boethwaez (rkn¤zn w knotb spraetd from how w bhaev) & kredt god wth
thntljns 2 rword thsaents (John Paul II) wth ts @ thslstial taebl & 2÷st thsinrz ↓ 2 roestnhl 4 orlv∞.
Wr joind2th O x how w akt & th knskwnszv owr kshnz r xd 1000fold (13/7/07. 3/12/01) & rvrbr8
thrue th jnraeshnz. 4 æ (4.47pm).
12/9 /05 (15/3/07. mistakenly dated 11/9/05 in original). Ystrdi @ thGarricks ¤ ♪st th@ Eglė
knsdrzn $35 æ (nfrdi Louis (8/4/07. woznmelbourne ystrdae. Took ♂m nEmma nn g¤dd 2rv thsiti.
(17/7/07. gaev ♂m thCD ALL THAT WAS ALL THAT WILL BE)) bortn $200 shert 4 th4ml) nn rstront (thei
had d¤nd @ nSpansh stblsh··t nDarling st wth frndz thprvius eevn) 2b cheep (♀ 4 us ngr8 stori
O owr unkl Al. Wn ♂ & Vida f¤nli kort↑ wth Matti nCanberra thdzgn8d meetn ● woz @ nbskuer footi
♣ Matti had nvr h·dv. Tfzowt Al (4mr njn·n prof) had sum FREE LUNCH vowchrz ♂ kood uez thr.
Th æ woz bufé st¤l & Matti rports Al & Vida reeli tuktn zf theid skipt nfue æz rwr O2.). Mor spr¤zn
woz th@ thGarricks ddnt noe th@ Rasaz moeblti woz soe rstrktd ♀z lmoest nnvld. Louis woz thr 2, ♂
topt thskool nvri sbjkt ♂ dun.·zn sumriovth st8v thrmaenn ŽIŽYS famli (28/3/07. nrl@v ← thuthr s¤
dvth· haz dskuvrd us (2/12/07. & now nuthr relo Aistė Mažonienė (nee Žižytė) dortrv Saulius
(bruthrv Taurius ( 26/7/04 )) hz kntktd us rfta n nrtkl O m¤ sstr Egle n Lietuvos Rytas)): Zita
Bilevičiutė hooz muthr zn Žižytė (ie ♀v Žižys) livz nCanada but vzts ♀r mum n·Ukmergė (
ŠIAULIAI p 10 & Vilnius → Melbourne p 8) eech sumr. ♀z ·n nrtkl wch ♀ → us O th·shnv
lthl&z 1
st
przdnt SMETONA wchz nth_. SMETONA bordd nthsaem room nUkmergė wtha bruthrov m
¤ gr&fthr (Zita zth gr&dortrv 1v m¤ gr&fthrz bruthrz) wn ♂ woz nstuednt nUkmergė. Smetona woz
supl¤d wth smugld nthlithoe langwj x wl noen (gotn pnshn 4t btween thworz) smuglr - m¤
gr&fthr Juozas ŽIŽYS. Wthn weeksv mi vztn m¤ fthrz µ vlj (Žeimiu Kaimas (29/3/07. → (no 1) p
6)) lrst y·Zita nue ¤ hdbn thr ← rloez.)ov 49 : Mum: 14 plz/dae (hzn ♥i ppt¤t butz luezn w8); Rasa:
10 plz/dae (Joe taeks x2 (8/4. but ♥ @k rkw¤rd x3 stnts 2b nsrtd sns w wr thr) (hzn ♥i ppt¤t buttz
pootnn w8); Eglė: 2 plz/dae (John: 0) (looksn xlnt shaep); mee: 2 plz/dae but nli 1 wn ntrps (H: 0) (4n
fulr hlth rprt Savannah p 10-11). Th (12/4: the other day / I met / old father time himself //
instead of wearing black / he dressed in shimmering white // I’ve always seen / the scythe
before / but never seen / the hour-glass // he tipped it / back and forwards / like jewels / in a
vase) z 9am & wr O2→ Melbourne …. (ptrl @ Gundagai – 141.9c.) (9/4. thsz thlrst nth reez
bgnnwth Melbourne → Sydney (60 nthnthlji ( 13/9/05 p 12)). Thnthrz ↑N (61) ‘pblsht’ n2005,
& Tropika – 1 (62), Tropika – 2 (63), Savannah (64), & Outback (65) pootowt n2006. Wingdings
z 66 nthnthljiov mstrkpeez ¤ hv ¯. ¤ doent noe frwn ¤lb pootnowt nthr1 z¤m → lthol& @th ndv
mae 4 x3munths. ¤ thank m¤ rz.)
(15/3/07. Completion of Mondays from folder 7 (nos. 62 – 66 of anthology))
22/5 /06 ( Litho Trip 2 (on CD t¤tld: ALL THAT WAS ALL THAT WILL BE)). Apologees to my
neighbour. He was very quiet. Its 9.45am and Ive had a good nights sleep (with the aid of a 5mg
tablet of valium) which is much more than I was able to say at this stage on my last trip on my 1
st
morning in the Metropolis Hotel in KAUNAS. I ddnt dwel on the thought that this building is a fire
trap being of the identical design to the one I had stayed in in ŠIAULIAI which was abandoned by the
NATO border patrol airmen for that reason and because it was infected with the Legionnaire virus.
Later I’ll go up to the 11
th
floor for the view as I did on the Šiauliai. Eglė could as easily be using
these hotels as an illustration (26/3/07. kspt ♀ oenli staez nkspnsv1z) for her presentation at her next
92
conference (in India I think) on the financial and administrative problems faced by managers of
national heritage areas as the ‘Poilsio Namai’ (rest homes) on which she was gathering material
before she left here last week. Both were the products of the Soviet command economy intent on
maximum quantity by minimizing quality (I can th black and grey crow Varna (Corvus Corone) in
the top branch of the tall silver birch below). Nothing is being maintained properly ( → no 1 pp
9,10,11) here & its evident it will be allowed to deteriorate till it becomes unusable (cold air is getting
in past the duble panes of the window as the frames are no longer flush though one of the gaps has
been filld with toilet paper (my neighbour has a bad cough)) as th major errors of structural design
such as the narrow liftwell cannot be changed. My view however is superb as I sit writing @ the desk
at the window. (hav put on a jumper) In a little while Im going to the RIMI supermarket which is only a
short walk away and which I can through the window. Regarding personal higean (how do you spell
that?) I can report that THE PANTY LINER is a great success & I intend to leave the same one there
(though I hav a packet of replacements) for as long as possible. It may mean I only have to 2wash mi
underpants 1ce/week or evn not at all.(10/6/06.Too much information!) Ive also found a second public
toilet discretely tuckt away on the third floor of the brand new shopping arcade for luxury goods off
Gedimino Prospektas. However when I went into the only other one I know, the underground 1 in
the park behind the bar behind the ARKIKATEDRA where you pay .5Lt 2 th lady before she unlocks
the iron barred door to let you in, I was put off by what I could through the bars & the thought of the
possible state of what I couldn’t so I turned around and went 2 a small bar in Latako gvė which I knew
from my previous trip ( Vilnius 1 & Vilnius (no.2); the Dailės Institutas is now charging
49Lt/night) & bought a beer with fried garlik bread so I could use theirs only 2 discover downstairs
that a group of waiters were mucking about with the door which wouldn’t unlock. So I wasn’t able 2
hav a crap till I got back shivering to the hotel. Incidentally I intend to moderate my drinking as I
promised H to look after my health which means less time spent in bars and perhaps more in
churches. Also I am going to make a point of eating fewer greezy meals as last time I got to the point
where I was dripping with oil as if I had applied suntan lotion …. Ddnt get bak til after 11pm coz I got
a bit boosht. Lost m¤ veri f¤n italian jumpr that mum gaev mi 4 a birthdae preznt. Mustv just let it ¬
from m¤ h&. Thingz kan disappear without leaving a trace in mi. Its 2 do with aej. ¤m nbit footsor &
am O 2 hit th sak. Wil giv nsumriov th daez evnts 2moro & wil wot ¤v ritn soefar 2 ue z¤m ' nn
xrs¤z wth tairout ¯z.
29/5 /06. Pple do it hrda h·. Ystrdae nold ♀ hoo woz taekn 1 t¤ni step @a wth th hlpva
→nstik rskt mi wr th 7® woz. Twoz @leesta 10min brisk → awae 4 mi. ♀ probli needd 40 f♀ got thr
@orl. L8r wn ntaxi wnt x ¤ rirl¤zd ¤ shoodv waevdt↓ & paed 4 ♀ 2b → 7®. ¤v bn koldr sins ¤v
bn h· thn ¤m nmdwntr nMelbourne. Ppl rgoein O wth thr jakts butnd↑ 2thr chinz. Threezn th
Kabailasz hav2 mounta Oth vjl zbkoz wn Meilutė wnt → rkuvri word ♀z wth 300+ paeshnts/1 doktr.
Thrr hrdli ni nrsz @ n¤t & tz ↑2 thrl@vz 2 @nd2 thmoest baesk trsks suchz toilt rkw¤r··ts, drsn,
& feedn. Norstralia thei maed nhuej 2doo O kmuenti groops kpraetn 2 dgowt thtazzie m¤nrz zf w wr
spr¤zd x our jnrosti. H· kpraeshn, & spshli famli mmbrz pulln 2gthr ztaekn4 grantd & ftn rkw¤rd.
But thtwin 4szv tknljkl modrnzm & ferl kaptlzm hv rr¤vd nlthl+ & r sweepn thold praktsz →2
thdustbnv hstri 4 th 2
nd
n 60 y·z. Wn ¤ told Laima & Ale th@ tz x no meenz sertn famli mmbrz
wood raliO nsik rl@v norstralia th wae thei wr O Meilute thei sed thingz wr chaenjn h·2 & th old wr ls
& ls aebl 2 kountn famli sport r th@ thchldrn wr eevn nth kuntri. Tza ¹ proess: nnmodrn konmi
paernts orgn¤z thr f¤nnshl ffairz soe thei woodnt b dpndnt nthr chldrn noldaej &th kidz orgn¤z thr l
¤vz noen thr hlp wontb needd. Modrn¤zaeshn hertlz → l¤ka t^→2 th n¤t & w doent no wr tz
taeknz. ITS GOING TO CRASH. (10am) …. Ystrdi ¤ ♪d nsmorl monue··t x th bankvth Nemunas 2
mark th • wr nloekl prtzn (27/3/07. Melbourne → Kaunas p 5) had bn kild: “‡ ŠIOJA VIETOJE
1948 08 10 ŽUVO DAINAVOS APYGARDOS ŠARUNO RINKTINĖS A. JUOZAPAVIČIAUS
GRUPĖS PARTIZANAS JUOZAS KARNAUSKAS – NEMUNĖLIS. G. 1930M”. 2dae ¤ hadn r^j·
·t 2 meet Albina @ 10am 2 nspkt rlrjr rprt··t @ 30Lt/n¤t nkaes ¤ woz nkum4tbl h·. W¤l ¤
woz kiln just Oth  fromth Nemunas ¤ kaem † nsmorl mmorirl, no lrjr than nordnri graevs¤t:
“ŽYDU GETO KALINIAMS” · lsoen heebrue &n rus. Nnglsh tsez: “to the inmates of the jewish
ghetto”. @ thbaesv thstoen wthth nskrpshn iza mapvth gtoe. ¤ m 2 rmmbr from thmap sumr¤zn
th% vjwz nth townsv prznt lithol& zthei wrn 1900 th@ DRUSKININKAI (17/7/07. noe ntri ndr this
naem nth Encyclopaedia Judaica) woz lmoest nt¤rli njwsh town & soe mae stil hvhdn mjorti jwsh
pplaeshn n1940. Thgetoe woz srpr¤znli smorl d n1 short street: Antakalnio g. Th suthrn ndvth
93
Nemunas hoetl kumz 2 wthn 100 meetrzvth gtoe boundri. Bit fertha long nth ppsit s¤dvth street iza
smorl lmoest derlkt woodn bildn: Lietuvos valstybinis žydu muziejus ¶ Jewish State Museum
of Lithuania . A ♪s sez: “EKSPOZICIJA,, ŽAKO LIPŠICO ATMINIMUI ¶ EXPOSITION,, IN THE
MEMORY OF JACQUES LIPCHITZ.” Thrue th wndoe ¤ kood nroom hung wth ntrstn pn&nk
drorrnz but th plaes woz shut, no xbshn z wr givn & noe kontakt numbrz. Bak @th hoetl ¤ loek8d
Antakalnio g. nm¤ mapv DRUSKININKAI & th map woz sprd owtnth 'n dsk wn Albina rr¤vd. ♀
brort nkopiov ♀r tranzlaeshn → litho (6/4/07. Eglė 4 m¤ mum (hoonoeztheezthngz) 4 tz ngood1)
vn sekshnv Mallacoota Man ← IN TRANSIT . ¤m lookn 4wd 2 reednt nlitho (27/3/07.
www.lietuvams.com & ntr in transit nth□ mrkt ‘ieškoti’(search)) but hvnthd th yt. Thn ♀ W Oth rprt
··t wch woz nvaelbl 4 nspkshnzth ppl thr had prlongd thr stae x 1 dae. Th rprt··t z@ no 11
Antakalnio g. @ th vri vth gtoe _ ! Thoe ¤ hv kum2 kw¤t l¤kt wr ¤m ¤m nfluensd xth
COINCIDENCEvt & feel ¤ shood spnd @ leest 1 n¤t thr thoe thvue fromth owts¤dvth bildn duznt
rpeel. T mz howvrmuch ¤ tr¤ 2 put ths topk bh¤nd mi tserchz mi out.(1/7/06. No, you search it out –
its one of the reasons why you go to Litholand in the first place. It’s like an itch you can’t or won’t stop
scratching (27/3/07. but ¤ ddnt spnda n¤t thr). Perhaps Jaweh has chosen you as the sacrificial lamb
whose sacrifice (of your peace and possible happiness) will expiate the collective Lithuanian guilt for
participation in the holocaust (10/4/07 (w + ROMA 2dae). soroe 4 rgilt nbv ntr¤b r hrdli ishuez 4 mi.
X skr¤bn theez moetvz 2mi ue maeb saen mor O yor prspktvz than m¤n).(He has a reputation for
being a vengeful god (The Great Zot w? (6/4/07. kstrordnrli profetk! – u r nkroechn nm¤ trrtri? (7/4/07.
ntri 24/7/06 )) (9/4/07. howvr ferthr nvstgaeshn vm¤ ¯¯ zt¤pt x H (¯ no 7) proovz ¤d rportd bn
struk x w nn W 4 → H ← Kaunas (28/6/06). Wn nÆlv daezgoe ¤ hd rkst ♀r f♀ hd noen ¤ hdbn w
@th v ♀r· ♀r ko··t woz ♀ woz shor ♀ hdnt. Zths how PROPHESY werks?!)). Or perhaps you just
can’t live without pain. Either way, you’ve got a problem!) Thoe thvzbl vidns vt maeb blitr8d THE PAST
CANNOT BE DESTROYED because wee are successive transformaeshnzvt & 4 sumvus thgoests
rmaen vzbl & kr¤ out 2bherd. Zw ♀rtl 2wrdz slf dstrkshn &th ndvth aej ¤ pae homj 2thm. Ftr nuthr
lunch @ Bebenčiukas ¤ →d 2thutha s¤dvth laeks wr thrza smtri 4 soviet soljrz. Thr r 70 smnt plrks
konsistn simpliov naemz & daetsv brth & dth. Th pees zn horbl monue··tva j¤nt wreath maed
from metal spportd x 4 skulptd poests. A litl owts¤d thnkloezuer r 4 kontortd woodn skulpchrz eechv
O 10ft h¤ n1vwch sum1 haz ·: “AISTUTĖ KURVA ¶ 86 ( …deleted …)71 ¶ man 15 m (m stands 4 y·
·) ¶ PAČIULPSIU”. A litl frthr zth litho cemetry in a beautiful setting on a hills¤d ndr a mixed canopy
of p¤nz, firz & broadleavz. Th graves¤ts r 10dd as carefully as a garden & th O is lush & scented in
dappled ☼. How difrnt, I thought, to th cemetry in ŠIAULIAI (27/3/07. ŠIAULIAI p 2) wr m¤
gr&frtha l¤z. Th ° shood rstn pees h·orfnot thoez hoo 10d th graevz so luvnli shorli f¤nd kum4t
from thr laebrz. Thn ¤ wnt lookn 4

th jewish community cemetry as its indicated on th map thoe no
bordrz r shown. Instead ¤ came † another monument wch reedz: “ŽUVUSIEMS UŽ ¶ LIETUVOS ¶
NEPRIKLAUSOMYBE ¶ 1944-1953” (4 thoez hoo d¤d 4 lithuanian independence 1944 –1953
(13/7/07. ystrdae ¤ · MUZAK x thgruep Kupolė (→ x Egle ← Sydney) 4♪♫ prtzn songz – ys,
thmtholj¤zn vth prtznz zn fulswing & GOD & rljn rkoeoptd 4 thtrsk)). There are 15 graves each
giving family name, partisan name (these were assumed to hide identity to protect relatives), & yearz
of birth and death: Stumbras (Bison) 16-49; Kelmas (Stump) 20-52; Nemunėlis (the river in the
diminutive) 29-48; Suivėjas (Tailor) 26-47; Luitas (Lion) 25-50; Sakalas (Hawk) 26-47; Jaunuolis
(Youth) 27-47; Vasaris (February) 26-47; Eglis (Fir tree) 26-47; Kadagys (Juniper tree) 24-47;
Jotvingis (Baltic tribe exterminated x the crusaders) 28-52; Paukštis (Bird) 21-49; Tauras (Bull) 18-47;
Klevas (Maple tree) 18-46. Then ¤ continued deeper into the forest to the west of a swampy lake
called Eyes of a Virgin Lake looking for the jewish stones & did find one or what ¤ thought was
one (a couple of days ago ¤ found what ¤ thought might be one which had found use as a marker
in another part of the forest and thought ¤ must be getting close but that was it. Not even a bit of
scattered rock to give the slightest hint a cemetry had ever existed. Gone. Can a history be wiped out
so completely there is nothing left but a mossy forest floor? (1/7/06. Yes, you were at Skull Hole, weren’t
you? (28/3/07. Outback p 10 (6/4/07. ntri 22/8/05 ))) L8r at the Čiurlionio memorial.
Muziejus ¤ was asking the secretary who ¤ should contact to get access to the Jacques
Lipchitz exhibition but she said she didn’t know as they had no contact with the Jewish State
Museum of Lithuania however she did find two numbers which ¤ could contact here in
DRUSKININKAI but they didn’t answer. She suggested ¤ make enquiries at the tourist bureau which
¤ll do tomorrow. Inside the _ that woz th gtoe a multi storey ‘family appartment hotel’ is rising (a lot
94
of th bilding werkrz r bielo rus 2 rplais th shortj corzd x litho buildn werkrz chaesn bigr $$$z
nEUROPA). Tomorrow ¤ll have another go at finding what is marked on the map as the
Druskininku žydu bendruomenės kapinės. Wn ¤ got ← rfta t ¤ W H froma W nth 2
nd
flor foyr
but ♀ woz naebl 2 get ← 2 mi soe ¤ ← W rgain &nth fue mnuets w had xchaenjd w, & how w mist
chuthr b4 m¤ krd ran out. & yes THE · BEAT THE ~ (13/7/07. 2moroe thei plae th··@th MCG
nr Þbustr & mi&Joe rgoen) & Rocca irond out their fullbak & put him out 4thrstvth zn.
5/6/07. ¤mn SERIEDIŠKIS wchz hrdli morthnth naemvn loeklti. Thrr 4 or 5 µµ spred
oevr nklomtr O 3kz ↑N vLABANORAS wchz O 25kz →E vMOLĖTAI wchz O 62kz ↑N vVILNIUS. Tzth
♥v th laeks dstrkt. ¤m nrnglktd µ nrnglktd yrd sOdd x svrl00 yrdzv prschr & thn 4st, muchvt berch.
Thrr sum lrj µµ oevrhangn thµ & prtsvth sbstos roof zkuvrd nmos. Tz vri pr¤vt, no1 hz gon x nth
vri m¤nr trak owtfrunt sins w kaem h·mdrvoe. Rasa ÷ mi h·ftr pikn mi ↑ @th hoetl. W ®t @
rsueprmrkt 2 shop↑ & ¤ hvnuf spl¤z 4 1½ weeks. Thrr 2 smorl storz nLABANORAS wchz O 4kzwae
x roed. Rasa lso lft mi wth svrl daez spl¤ vsuep ♀ maed & td thf¤ nth stoev set →2 n6ft h¤ blokv
brikwrk wch heets↑ 2 keep throom warm. Thfuelz berchwd wch bernz hot. Nth wae w droptff Rokas
@r skool _ wr thkidz wr havnr good nsp¤tvth knstnt drzl. M¤ feet rwet fromth →2 1vth longr &
deepst laeks nltho, Aesetas, nli rbit oevr 1k wae. Thrzr wl 4 H2O. ¤m wairn 1v Algisz jumprz brort 4
mi x Rasa. Thrr heepsv jakts l¤n O thµ. ¤m drnkn rweet b·(kvietvinis). Thrr foetoezv Vytenis hoo
° wn ♂ fl thrue th ¤s krust vAesetas. ¤m feeln lthrjk & ÷nt bbothrd · soe ¤m goen2 reed
thkopiov Lietuvos Rytas ¤ brort wthmi. Thsz deepn 4std roorl lithol& &t feelz vri peesfl. Noe =, noe
B, noe ÷÷, noe m, no noiz, no 0 …. 10.40pm. Thrzr owl hootn nth yrd. Thwndoez r x2 paend. Tz vri
snug nkst 2th krosnys (brik stoev). Tfeelz zf ¤m taekn prt n1v grimz fairistoreez.
12/6 /06. Z¤ gotowtv bed ¤ woz ruedly joltd n2 waekflns x ths¤tv 2 ~~ (erkės) mirorn
chuthr h¤↑ nth ns¤dv boeth th¤z. Thei wr kw¤t dfrnt 2th 1z ¤m uezd2 nOZ, blak & sh¤ni nl¤k
ths&i kulrvth Oz 1z. Moest ntrstn 2mi zth@ m¤ h& woz not lrtd 2thm nkonshsli nth waetz 2th 1z
nOZ. ¤ took thmirer offthworl & hldt btween m¤ legz 4n ↑ vue but fownd 0. ¤v gzamnd m¤ skalp
wthth tipsvmi fngrz butm ntknfdnt tz free vm zthei rmuch softr 2thtutch thn th1z nOZ wch feel gravli.
Thrr prtsv m¤ bak ¤m naebl 2 r reech. ¤ koodnt f¤nd tweezrz nth µ & m¤ fngrnaelz rblunt but
vnchrli ¤ woz aebl2 getngripnm. Thei pulowt much eezier thnth OZ 1z. 1 woz ngorjd & berst btween
m¤ fingrz wn ¤ skweezdt ftr pulntowt. ¤m notshor thuthr1 hznt lft nsmorl • mbdd nth leg. ~~
nlithol& kan kari l¤mz dzeez & nsfl¤ts &f thredns O thb¤t ts2 ksp& ue hv2 seek mdkl (nkookoo
(Gegutė (Cuculus canoris)) zkorln owts¤ thwndoe) @10shn. Thrr maps shown nwch _z thei kari
nsfl¤ts & Rasa thinks ths _ zfreevt. Ystrdae ftr twoz kl·Rasa woznt kumn ¤ w8d nÆlv owrz b4
goen→ Aldona & Kazimierasz plaes 2 ntrjues m¤slf & rks f¤ kood uez thr W 2 O H soe ♀ kood
Obak. Thei hdbn frndzv Vytenis but koodnt hlp zthr µ W woznt wrkn. Aldona rfrd mi → Giedre
†throed n xfar thmoest buetfl & mpoezn (x2 storeez) vth µµ nSeriediškis. BUgLiOeTdArIėTĖ zO 8 y
·z yungr thn mi & rmmbrz nch¤ldhoodv frkwnt chaenjzv +drs @ short ♪s 2void th @10shn vth
soviet thorteez bkoz ♀r frthr hdbn noffsr nth prwor ltho rmd 4sz. Our knkshn woz mmdi8li s··td x
nCOINCIDENCE. Tternz owt ♀z stablsht wth m¤ KABAILA rloez wn theiv vztd ← OZ th@ ♀r pairnts
nue KpArBaAnIaLsA, m¤ gr&fthr, from th postwor y·z wn thKabailasz livd nŠIAULIAI ( ŠIAULIAI ).
Butth COINCIDENCES strtch ferthr. Ttrnz owt ♀r frthr woz nair4s p¤lt l¤k m¤n & nli 2 y·z yunger
(b.1913) hvn @10dd thsaem offsr t^n skool nKAUNAS (¤ think twoz thnli 1) & wrkt nth saem baesz
nŠIAULIAI & Pivonijos Šilas ( → (no 1) p 4) n·UKMERGĖ soe thei mustv sertaenli noen chuthr.
♀r muthr MUlRaKiAmIaTĖ rmmbrz m¤ fthr zth wthrob vorl th♀♀v UKMERGĖ (30/3/07. ( ŠIAULIAI
p 10). Soe th n4maeshn O m¤ fthrz rpuetaeshn zn wthrob hz reecht mi un☼sitd via 2 dfrnt sorsz
nppsit s¤dz vthK, 1 nlithol& &th uthr ↓ndr nMelbourne nOZ ( (30/3/07. ÷nt f¤nd thrfrns (13/7/07.
fowndt: ↑ North 12/7/05))). Giedrė nsstd nmi ↓n nsmorl sorsrv šermukšnės (beri from nµ sed2
thin thblud (skystina krauja)) jam. ♀ gaev mi n v ♀r poeµ t¤tld Inkliuzai (ISBN 9955-615-04-4 ©
Giedrė Bulotaitė, 2006 sudarė autorė, © Vilniaus menininku “Plekšnės” klubas, 2006. Vilnius
2006) nth fl¤ leef vwch ♀' “Gerb. Arūnui – kuris yra ir Jonas, bet negali švesti Joniniu (6/4/07. ntri
14/8/06 4 ko··tsn “Hohannesfeuer”), nes vadina save Džonu …(s¤nd GB) 2006.06.10”. ♀ ' 2
poemz →2 m¤ ¯ “Siela ir matėria ¶ Tarsi smėlio laikrodis ¶ Tik jaunystėje ¶ Susilieja ¶ I
tobula visūna …¶ 20060610 Labanoras. GB ¶ & ¶ Esu pačioje gražiausioje ¶ Pasaulio vietoje
- ¶ Tėvynėje …¶ 20050506 GB”. Pparntli ♀z nleedrvth Plekšnės (flounder) ♣ wch hz O 150 mmbrz
nlithol&. Tzn soeshl ♣ 4 paentrz, poetz etc & ♀ hzn ornmntl ~ hangn nth worlvth buetfl spaeshz
95
maen roomvth µ. ¤ 4 ♀r ¤d bn æ dr¤d & ☼td PLEKŠNES wth m¤ b·. ¤ wnt & got ♀r 1kopiov
eechvth 2 psz vm¤ ·n thoe ♀ ÷nt nglsh (6/4/07. nuthr rsipint vsumv m¤ psz hoo ÷nt nglshz
Austra Zapolskienė vTRAKAI ( ntri 7/8/06 )) & thoe ¤ nli hv 1veech lft. Giedrė zn paetriot &th werd
‘TĖYVNĖ’ (µl&) zofn n♀r ¬. ♀ 4 ♀ kood ndrst& w¤ ¤ 4 ¤ ddnt shair ♀r snt··ts but woz shor
thei wr thr hidn & wood srfas 1dae. m nlithol& ÷nt ndrst& th@ nthnik litho, born nlithol&, hoo kn 4
litho, znt npaetriot. Eevn ngood oel ozzi, ozzi, ozzi KApBaAuIlLA & sumt z m¤mum hvhd trubl
bleevn m¤ st8d vuez rjnuen. m vstrong knvkshn knhv dfkulti mjnn dfrnt ·K 2 thr oen. Zt hapnd
nfrndv Giedrė, pPeUtRrYaSs, nuthr mmbr vth Plešknės ♣ wozn ♂z wae 2 pik ♀r ↑ & taek ♀r →
VILNIUS soe ♀ nv¤td mi ← @6pm 2 meet ♂m thoetwoz lredi 5 wn ¤ lft havn spnt thOrvoe with ♀r.
Wot nCOINSIDENCE ♀ 4 th@ ♂zn UKMERGĖ ·, born & bred, & ♂z spshl ntrst & hobi z hoo dd
wot & wn n UKMERGĖ: eg. ♂ wood chkowt m¤ frthrz bruthr ŽjIoŽnYaSsz (d st frthrv tŽaIuŽrYiSus
nVILNIUS) tchn rkord pr·wor2 & ftrwoodz etc. Wn ¤ ♪d th@ moest m nprwor UKMERGĖ wr jwz ♀
bzrvd, parfraezn sum1ls, th@ thei hdbn thkzfleez n··i townz nkluedn ŠVENČIONĖLIAI sum 20kz
sw vh·. ¤ suspktd zmuch koz ¤ rmmbrdt hdbn ngtoe & kstrmnaeshn _. Wn pPeUtRrYaSs (z O 9
y·z ldr thn mi; hzhd thsaem praeshn zMeilutė & 4tz noebigdeel; hzn nue muchmuch yungr ♀frnd;
sets↑ maejr rt showz & lkchrz @th rt nstitutas nVILNIUS) rr¤vd w stld↓ nth vranda vn shed x nsmorl
dam 4 snax & ngood lithoe trauktine (strong spirit) wch Petras kept porn morov thmoe··t m¤ ´
woz mti. Twoz nbuetfl setn @ ☼↓ wth m¤ legz dangln oevr thvranda just buvth H2O but ¤ think
twoz thn ¤ kopt th~~ (erkės) zGiedrė hzr big problm wth beevrz (bebrai) nth pool & nth draenj
chanl bh¤nd thµ wr thrr 4 beevr damz nth short dstns btween ♀r & thKabailasz µ. ♀ ftn z thm
nthdam & ¤ ♪d 2 lrj Oz l¤k wombats dig nOZ. pPeUtRrYaSs rm¤ndd miov EeWaErRlS (31/3/07
(mi&Joe wnt 2 thMagpies skraepn gaenst North @th MCG). 3/4/06 – 12/4/06 pp 11,12) (♪sbli
bsnt from lithoµ nErrol st Nth Melb. sins ¤v bn ← from m¤n & Hz tropkl trip (31/3/07. buthv n ♂m
1s sins)) wth ♂z ntrst 4 dtael & noez 4 n4maeshn. ♂ 4 twoz thjwz hood drorn↑ th dportaeshn lists &
ffrd 2 prv¤d mi wth vdns but ¤ woodnt b¤t. ¤ noe wr theez dskshnz leed & th@thrz noe •
nngaejnnm. ¤ kntnue 2 mrvl how jnrusli ¤m µtd thoe ¤ mustdmt Giedrės nrji & v¤tlti fr srprsz m¤
n (·weeri?) & ¤ kn f¤nd kumpni wr thrz nabsnsv slfdowt (Petras 4 Mekas (13/7/07. 2moroe rfta
thfooti ¤m →2 rdokoe O ♂m In the Shadow of the Light & n☼dae → ♂z w Lost, Lost, Lost
(boeth @ acmi)), Mačiunas & thO New York set r gae (žydrei (2/12/07. Tuesday 23/5/06));
avantgarde & fluxus stuf zkmpleet krap & rt shoodb O rialti etc) oprsv. Lrst n¤t ¤ tr¤d2 rmmbr wthr
¤vr ♀rd nltho 4 soroe 4
th
sufrn ovth ltvaks. ¤ doent kownt ffshl ksprshnz suchz th1 x Brazauskas
(przdnt hoo rz¤nd lrst week) nzrael wch rrowzd such kntrovsi & ngr ←n lthl&. Thoenli kl· n☼sitd 4
¤ kood rmmbr woz x KOmZyLkOoVlSaKsIS nMelbourne @ lthoµ. Thn ¤ rial¤zd th@ ¤ mnot nth
habtv doont eethr (nor 4 th µt··tvth borjneez vOZ). Nfakt ¤ ÷nt klaem2 feel ‘soroe’ r ‘regret’ n¤
thr kaes. Th2 werdz hvbn soe plts¤zd theiv lost meenn 4 mi ksptn stueaeshnz whr ¤ hold m¤ own
kshnz (r bsnsovm) rsponsbl. ¤ nvr ndrst& how jdjz kspkt nknvktd krmnl 2 gzbt rgrtrrmors wn ♂z spnt
thO tr¤l dn¤n gilt. Howvr ¤ rjstr thtoen nrpersonz vois. Thr woz sumtn nthwae VIŠNrIaAyUSKAS 4
♂z shok @th faet vthjwz vVILNIUS wch pootz ♂m h¤ nm¤stmaeshn. ¤ ♪d SaTlRbUiNnGaA hz
vztd thsmorl mmorial hidn nth 4st @th s¤t vth old jwsh smtri nDRUSKININKAI, & ¤ ♪ ♀r f4t 2 putmi
ntuch wth sum1 (wch ¤ ddnt taek↑) hoo kood 4 mi wot hapnd.(15/7/06. Why not? (31/3/07. ¤ lredi
noe &mnot kn owt mor nfo (t ks mi owt))) Giedrė lft b4 ☼↓ & ¤m gr8fl ♀ druemi →2 thr kumpni. ¤
4 ♀r ¤m probli leevn nth weeknd & ♀ 4 ♀z due ←nwnzdae. ¤ woznt aebl2 uez ♀r moeb¤l 2 W H
z♀ duznt hvth sim÷d (1.30) … →&← 4 spl¤z nLABANORAS : x2 b·, 1 Čepkeliu, 1 loefv brd, 2
nionz, 3 tmrtoez, 1 kuekmbr, 1 psv gO prst meet, 1 pktv SMOEKT PIGZ ··. Hd nb· & silke @th
viežbuti (rstront/pub). Tz th2
nd
buetfl sumr dae & thluepnz r kumn →2 bloom frst. From ystrdae:
thnaem Bulotas kumz from nKaraim (“mvth ”) (17/7/07. Litho Trip 2 5/8/06) werd dskr¤bn nk¤
ndv steel 4 maekn sordz; pPeUtRrYaSs 4 ♂ rmmbrz thdmoez vsuport nUKMERGĖ wnth
Molotov/Ribntrop µti wch gaev lthl& → rusia woz rnownst. ¤m t¤rd. 6.30. … Lit thKROSNY
nnssrli 4 th lrst ¤ rkn. 8 thPIGZ ·· wosht↓ wth 500ml vb· … wnt 4 nshort stroel long thdraenj
chnl & mmedi8li nd·boundwae & thn 2 LRJ BOAR (1 bigr thnthuthr) wth svrl str¤pt tan kulr
yungstrz. Koodnt getn propr thyungstrz nth long grrs but thpairnts 4n long (13/7/07. sins thn hv
n mor. Journal ♪♫ Italy 9/5/07). Thr 0 l¤k ferl pigz nOZ : thei hv drk brown hairi koets, tuft nth
tael, & vri long •i snowts. 8.40 …. Gza··d thn·st BVR DAM @th ejvth Kabaila prprti. Tz lrj &
maedv mud&stiks. Thei shor maek nms vth sOnz dign Oz & tunlz vrwhr. Thrz rBVR ÷SL O 5ft h¤ n
·thBVRZ POOL. Orl O zbogi & ¤ ddnt wont2 mukO thr bkoz ¤ doent wont NOE MOR ~~…
96
“100[199] ¶ Suddenly, as if destiny had turned surgeon and, with dramatic success,
operated on an ancient blindness, I raise my eyes from my anonymous life to the clear
knowledge of the manner of my existence. And I see that everything I have done,
everything I have thought, everything I have been is a sort of delusion and madness. I
marvel that I did not see it before. I am surprised by everything I have been and that I
now see I am not.” – fePrEnSaSnOdAo.
19/6 /06. Got up too early. Went to the well to wash & brush my teeth and look out
perhaps for the last time over the field sloping down to the canal and the beaver colony. Two weeks
ago it had been golden with dandelions now it was a sea of fluffy puff balls. Over the two weeks there
has been a complete changing of the guard in the kingdom of the flowers. A variety of new mauves
and blues besides the lupins have appeared in the garden and roadsides. Butter cups and brooms
have become the dominant representatives for yellow. On the road to Labanoras I got a look at a
deer which for once stood its ground and watched me for a full minute before bounding away with
short bark like calls which they do when alarmed. In Labanoras in the garden of the house next to the
cemetry (there is another cemetry on the other side of the village; both are beautifully looked after; I
saw only lithuanian names on the headstones) a man was ploughing a potato patch with a single
blade horse drawn plough; the horse, one of only two in the village, knew not to step on the sprouting
spuds. I passed a cat crouched in the grass which took off in a wide circle and crossed the road
behind me into the house when I came towards it. A bare chested man was mowing with a scythe. At
the bus stop I used the pit toilet for the last time and must report that large as it is someone has
managed to miss the hole. There was a single button next to it indicating an emergency may have
taken place. I noted that if you have your feet on the two raised blocks either side of the hole as
youre supposed to it drops right down the middle. Incidentally the hole to the pit toilet here in
Rimeisiai at the Birds where Im writing is big enough for an adult to fall through. Waiting at the bus
stop I listened to an old lady (they all wear scarves on their heads tied under the chin) complaining to
a woman waiting with me what a hard time she was having. She crossed the road very slowly and
went to sit on the bench outside the stone fence of the church. The gate into the church grounds was
locked. An alky nearly fell off his single geer bike without brakes coming to a stop outside the shop. A
lot of the locals including the old woman ride one geer bikes into Labanoras. The alkie bought a two
litre plastic bottle of beer which he attached to the rack at the rear with an octopus strap. This was at
about 8am. Watched two ancient women come to the well across the road each carrying an empty
bucket which they proceeded to fill from the well. When you winch up a bucket full of water you have
to lift it out to fill your own bucket using your own muscle power. When they had filled up both buckets
they went off back in the direction they had come from carrying one of the filled buckets between
them. On the bus I heard one of the two old women who had got on earlier at a village say to the bus
driver: “Oi, kaip suku senoms” (how hard it is for us old ones). They got off at a cemetry past a
village a long way along the road towards Želva (another town where there had been a ghetto and a
mass murder (31/3/07. kuvr mapv ŠIAULIAI)). Old women hang out in cemetries in lithuania even
before they take up residence. Got out at Janušiške bus stop which the driver hadnt heard of (& its
not signposted) by explaining that it was opposite where a farmer (Audrius & Laila & 5 kids) sells
strawberries in season ( → (no 2) p 8). Last time when I walked up the gravel road to Rimeisiai
carrying a suitcase on my shoulder I had been brimful of emotion ( → (no 1) p 1) but today, lightly
laden, I felt relaxed, like a local. In the short space of two years theres been a noticeable change.
The 8 or so houses along the road all appear well looked after and with one exception the grass
trimmed and gardens under vegetables and in flower. The riot of flowers I walked through in the
pasture last time was missing as the Birds property has been ploughed and planted out with trees
(with the help of an EU subsidy). A hare lolloped away without much concern. Vaidas, Brigita and
Miglė were in the yard as I turned round the hedge after first inspecting the BOBA ( → (no 2) p 1-
7). Vaidas is reading (Brigita already has) MM. Malacoota Man as translated by Albina. Ive read a
story about Gediminas which he is illustrating for Vytautas Landsbergis jnr who (13/7/07. hz bkum
sumtn va slbrti rtst (Egle →mi rCDv vri SHMALZi songz x ♂m)) is the son of ‘the’ Vytautas
Landsbergis, former premier of all of lithol&. In style and intention the two stories are exact opposites.
I think M.M. Malacoota Man cries out for some good illustrations that should be right up Vaido (‘of
Vaidas’) street. Brigita is reading Moteris (the litho version of Woman’s Day). Miglė has gone to the
GRYBAI (‘Mushrooms’) ( → (no 1) p 2) place to get milk. They have 6 cows now. I am drinkn
97
Švyturys Extra (31/3/07. now vaelbl @ lithoµ nErrol st, Nth Melb.). The Lakštingala (Nightingale) is
going fullbor. (8pm).
26/6 /06 . Ue lern sumtn nuevrdae. ¤ koodnt f¤nd nmirr 2shaev but ystrdae ¤ hd n
Gintas shaev wthout mirr, H2O, rsoep soe ¤ thortf♂ kn ·j th@ ¤kn ·j 2shaev wthowt nmirr & ¤
dunt. Lrst n¤t wwocht The Great Dictator ·n, drktd, & ktd x cChHaArPlLiIeN. Thskreen woz maed
from n<sheet & thflm from nklkshn vO 120 flmz Vaidas got lrst y·← vSiLtAeJnUiSs klktd n2 20 rsoe
-s nMP3 4m@ wch knb rlaed ← B →w → . Ftrwrdz nuthr flm woz putn but ¤ nli sor nbitvt (←
Tjkstan) z¤ wnt2 < @ 1am. Ue hv2b mprst wth thpkchrv kopraeshn & hrmni ¤m n from th·
famlz. ¤ hvnt ♪st nsingl nstnsv kmpttvns r ggrsvns mung ¤thr thbruthrz rth w¤vz & th3 ldr ♀z plae
wl 2gthr & lookftr thyungst1. Must feel good 2b prtv suchn famli gruep. (31/7/06. A hit, a hit, a very
palpable hit! It landed somewhere between the heart and the solar plexus. And delivered with such casual
cruelty, too. Quel finesse!) Nkulchrl dfrns th@ ¤ ♪st zth@ thrz nfr mor dfnt dvzionv laebr thn ¤m
uezt2. Th♀♀ doo thkookn, washn↑ etc w¤l th♂♂z doo thwoodchpn, & Vaidas ÷vz woodn ~~, rmi
& Gintas mmrs owrslvz nntrmnbl dskushnz. Wn ¤ goe 2doothwoshn↑ ¤thr Ruta rKristina prvntmi.
Insdntli tz bn nrvlaeshn 2tork2 Gintas: wvbn aebl 2 ¤dntf¤ owr ●sv dfrns wchz O zmuch zue kn
hoep4 n rius dskushn. Boethvus hvbnaebl 2knolj thkntrbueshn wv maed 2chuthr. ♂, Saulius & ♀♀ &
chldrn r pakn↑ 2leev. Gintasz → NY 4n weekv nservs traenn. ¤ doent wont2paent nuetoepian pchr :
orl 3 · bruthrz hvbn thrueth trormzv spraeshn (& hv chldrn ← uthr mrjz) but oevr thJONINĖS weeknd
thei hvbn npkchr vfamli hrmni & ¤ hv bn rbn~ri.
3/7/06. ← thg¤d (LANKTINUKAS) brortn x Stasys (♂ lsoe brortn plntiov uthr kslnt mt·
ial wth maps, hoetl W nos etc): “RAUDONĖ ¶ Until the 16
th
century, Raudonė was a royal
manor, which Žygimantas Augustas gave to Samogitian Elder Jeronimas Krišpinas –
Kiršenšteinas, who had immigrated to Lithuania from Prussia. His son, Krišpinas
Kiršenšteinas, built a fortified manor housecastle here at the end of the 16
th
century. This
was a renaissance style ensemble with a 33.5m (110ft) cylindrical tower. In 1663, the
grandson of K. Kiršenšteinas, after becoming the governor and secretary of the
Lithuanian Grand Duchy Treasury, made Raudonė his primary residence. Those were
flourishing years for the Castle. In the second half of the 18
th
century, Raudonė was left
to the Olendskis family. The layout of the castle was altered. A fire soon damaged the
castle. At the beginning of the 19
th
century, the indebted Olendskis family sold Raudonė
manor to the Duke Platonas Zubovas, who undertook the remodelling of the castle;
however a fire destroyed the interior installations. When he died, the castle stood for 30
years without any character. After a long fight, the manor was left to the daughter of P.
Zubovas, Sofia von Pirch-Kaiserovas, who came to live in Raudonė. After 23 years of
reconstruction, the castle acquired an appearance a little different from its present one.
After the death of Sofija Kaisarova, Raudonė was inherited by her daughter, Sofija
Wachsel, and then by her granddaughter, Sofija, who married a Portuguese man, de
Faria e Castro, who is called Kasteris (1/4/07. taek♪ Andrea di Castro (13/3/07. ←← ch¤nr rgn.
æ wth ♂m 2dae) – nltho u bkum: Andrius Kasteris) by the local people. During the years of the
First World War, the Kaiser’s army ravaged Raudonė Castle. After the war, the manor’s
owner, de Faria e Castrowas got in debt and the castle was sold at auction. Finally, the
Culture Department under Ministry of Education began to look after it. When the
Germans were retreating in 1944, they blew up the large tower, which in toppling
demolished a part of the south building. In the postwar years, the tower and demolished
building were restored and the school was founded in the castle. Those wishing to
admire the glorious Nemunas valley can climb to the top of the large tower. The castle is
surrounded by an old park, in which rare trees grow: the silver fir, Swiss pine, and Grey
Walnut. Unfortunately, the Gediminas Oak, under which according to the legend the
Grand Duke of Lithuania Gediminas had lunch, is no longer putting out leaves. It is one
of the oldest oaks in Europe.” …. 7.30pm. Just had a gr8 gzmplv wotwl hapn 2us nitalia (1/4/07.
+ ROMA (AMOR splt ←wdz) 10
th
aprl (3/4/07. mdkl ÷ shued 4 trp x Dr. David Doig (4/12/07.
thsmornn dunth tst 4 bumps nprost8 gl&) vIvanhoe Medical Clinic on 2/4/07 4 mi: “¶ Past history ¶
Condition – Comment ¶ ?HEP B CARRIER ¶ APPENDECTOMY ¶ EX-SMOKER ¶ HIATUS
HERNIA, OESOPHAGITIS (BARRETT’S) ¶ IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME ¶ OTITIS EXTERNA
(RECURRENT PSEUDOMONAS) BRIGGS ¶ PREPYLORIC GASTRITIS, CHRONIC D.U. ¶ RIH
98
REPAIR ¶ T.B. – PULMONARY (CHILD) ¶ PSYCHOTIC DISORDERS ¶ INGROWN TOENAIL
(Left) ¶ WART(S) ¶ INSOMNIA.” &4 H: “¶ Past history ¶ Condition – Comment ¶ HEP B AB
POS ¶ MULTIPLE BREAST CYSTS (COLLINS) ¶ GASTRO-OESOPHAGEAL REFLUX.”(4/4/07. &
Savannah pp 10,11))) nkst y·. Sum jap 2rsts rr¤vd & ¤ dd thtranslaeshn. Thrr 3vthm: husb&, w
¤f & dortr. 4 thsaem room zmi whr ¤m paen 35Lt/n¤t thr paen 50Lt/n¤t x 3 (ie eech)! ¤m paen
9Lt 4 m¤ æ but thr paen 15Lt eech! Thsmornn ¤ koodnt m¤ ♪♪ → H nMelbourne bkoz thPO
zshut nmundaez thn @ 2pm ¤ ddnt ·j 2 W hoem bkoz nths reejn ue hv2 dial 8 1
st
2get → 2 thmaen
grid & ¤ ddnt noe 2 doot dialn 00 1
st
z¤ hvdun tilnow. Twoz rhot dae wth nkl·blue sk¤ l¤k rsumr
dae nOZ. ¤v tn 4 2n¤ts @n hoetl nJURBARKAS (3/4/07. ← nOpdia Judaica: “JURBARKAS
(Ger. Jurburg), town in S.W. Lithuania S.S.R.; until incorporation of Lithuania within Russia
in 1795, the town belonged to the principality of Zamut (Zhmud; Samogitia);
subsequently, until the 1917 Revolution, it was in the province of Kovno. Jews who
visited Jurbarkas at the end of the 16
th
century are mentioned in the responsa of Meir b.
Gedaliah of Lublin (Metz, 1769, 4a no.7). Within the framework of the Lithuanian Council
(see * Councils of the Lands) the community of Jurbarkas belonged to the province (galil)
of Kaidany (Kedainiai). In 1766, 2,333 Jews were registered with the community. A
wooden synagogue built in Jurbarkas during the second half of the 17
th
century was
preserved until the Holocaust. There were 2,527 Jews registered with the community in
1847. The Jews numbered 2,350 (31% of the total population) in 1897 and 1,887 in
1923. In June -September 1941, after the occupation of the town by the Germans, the
Jews in Jurbarkas were murdered by Lithuanians. ¶ Bibliography: Lite (1951), 1595-97,
1849-54, index 2; M. and K. Piechotka, Wooden Synogogues (1959), 200; Yahadut Lita, 1
(1960), index.) whr th1
st
pr¤s th♀ hoo nswrd thW ffrd woz 70Lt/n¤t but @ thsl¤tst hztaeshn nm
¤ prt ♀ droptt↓2 35Lt/n¤t. M¤ nli mstaek woz 2sae “OK” so now ♀ wl noe ¤m nprt 4nr. Spnt thrvoe
→n long thNemunas & hd x2 .z. Thrr s&i beechz & thH2Oz worm. L8r ¤ stroeld thru th4st bh¤nd
th÷sl.
10/7 /06. Got th7.30am7→2 ŠILUTĖ (jr·: Heidekrug; jr· 4 RUSNĖ: Russ) @ nkostv
1.80Lt (@ thstaeshn nŠILUTĖ ¤ rkst ntaksi dr¤vr how much ♂ chrjz → RUSNĖ & ♂ 4 15Lt soe ¤
wnt ← x72 @ npr¤sv 1.05Lt) &th 1
st
thing ¤ chektowt woz thold b&nd jr· smtri † thraelwae traks
←th7®. Thzbn kmpleetli v&l¤zd & ni stoen wch koodb rwerkt hzbn taeknwae. Thlush grrs &
thshaed ← thlrj µµ givt n@msf·v ps. Thrz hrdli ngraevs¤t wrtz posbl 2 nCstoen soe ¤ woz vri
moovd xth werdz nn mon··t rkted 27/10/2000 nthmidlvth nglkt: “Mirusiu Šilutiškiu kurie ilsisi šiose senose
kapinėse atminimui ¶ dievas žin o j u va rdus ”. (“to the memory of the dead of Šilutė who rest here ¶ god knows the ir
names ”.) ŠILUTĖ zn betr shaep thn JURBARKAS &th kontrrst btween thold prwor jr· µµ wch eevn
nthr nglktd st8 gzued thtmosf·vn morgraesfl aej & thl8r soviet ·a µznkmshn st¤l ugli Æsv uents
zn lsn nhstri. Thlong maen street zkorld LIETUVININKU g. (dinkid¤ ltho persn st) & oft thrzn @rktv
prk & ¤ →d Juraškos (“LIUDVIKAS JURAŠKA PIRMASIS MUSU KRAŠTE IŠAUGINO IR PLATINO
JAPONIŠKAS MAGNOLIJAS”) (“Ludwig Juraška the first person in our country to grow and spread
Japanese magnolias”)) Alėja. Bort rkibinas, stuft chkn leg, & graeps ← rMaxima stor & l8r drank rfue
b·z nr br nth maen st w¤l ¤ Lietuvos Rytas. Thheetwaev kndshnz rkntnuen & ¤ gs tgot2 35º
2dae. Nthwae ← thm¤kro7 hd r2ltr plastk botl hangn nr string jamn thhnj 2prvnt thdor from shutn
soez2 letn sumair. Tstil flt l¤k sitn nthPIRTI ( → (no 1) pp 3,4) & xth wwr ← Russ nli 8kzwae ¤
wozn lathrv swet. Stil nŠILUTĖ ¤ hdtr¤d 2 W KABArIaLsAaITĖz · 2thank ♀r 4 LABANORAS but
tz dfntli owtvordr (2/4/07. dskuvrd l8r th@ m¤ vri rl¤bl sstr Eglė (h¤ powrd buerokr@ nSYDNEY)
hd givn mi throng no.) & ¤ tr¤d 2gtthrue2 ŽbVrIiRgBiLtIaS n♀r· butt woznt nswrn, & ¤ tr¤d thµ
Wv Žvirblis snrz nKAUNAS but tp·z 2b owtvordr. Soe ¤m ¤sl8d & nkomuenkrdoe (12/8/06.
Welcome to the club!) nRuss. M¤t bth bst plaes 2b nth heet. Rftrnuthr . & wth m¤ r¤t · lmoest df
¤ gotnth & d →th Rusnė Farmstead Folk Museum fowndd x kazBiAmNiYeSras (“Doctor of
Agrarian Science”) Pylimo 3, LT 99349 RUSNĖ Lietuva/Lithuania. Tel. (37041) 58169. ♂ hdsum
300 y·old <z mung uthr ntrstn ¤tmz but xfr thmoest ntrstn zth·hmslf. ♂z 79 y·zold, mor df thnmi
& lmoest bl¤nd yt ♂z lrt & nkwztv & kstrordnrli +v knsdrn thhrd.s ♂z sufrd. ♂ hz spnt 7 munths nth
NKVD slz ¤v vztd ( Vilnius 1 pp9,10) nVILNIUS. ♂ woz sn10sd 2 25 y·z nSIBERIA wr ♂ spnt 6
y·z dign koel nVORKUTA. ♂ woz rrstd bkoz ♂ dd liaezon werk 4 thprtzn leedrz nth PARTIZAN
worv 45-52. Thkaptn vth NKVD uent (Kontra Žvalgyba) wch 1
st
rrstd ♂m b4 twoz noen x thprtznz
♂ woz kort tr¤d2 get♂m 2 · n¬ nv¤tn thprtzn leedrz 2n meetn soez2 spring ntrap but ♂ rfuezd.
99
Juern th nth ● terrgaeshn thNKVD Kontra Žvalgyba kaptaen (l8r prmoetd 2 kernl & stil l¤v & livn
nr guvt pnshn nlthl& (naem & +rs spl¤d)) bt ♂z C gaenst rµ tl ♂ woz noktowt. ♂ thinks ♂z bginn
2sufr from thffktsvt now. Kazimieras 4 th☼ vth kptn hzbn nth SEIMAS (lthoe prl··t) & hz ··i
mprtnt . ♂z t^d zr loryr & akts thprtvr paetriot. Wn lthl& bkaem ndpndnt Kazimieras & O 30 uthrz
kkuep¤d thNKVD bldn (ie thC¼z wth thpikv ŽEjMoAnIaTsIS wch kumz ←owr famli lbum) 2 prvnt thf
¤lz bn taeknwae rdstroid butr lotvthm wrniwae. ♂ 4 morthn 100,000 mm wr rjstrd zNKVD n4·ts
(3/4/07. ystrdae mi&H The Lives of Others @ the Nova O th STASI (8/12/07. ¤m ½ wa thru
Stasiland x Anna Funder © 2002 pub: Text wch ¤ bort ths mornn)) & wotz lftvth f¤lz hzbn
froezn 4 70 y·z x thprznt guvt koz ··i vthr ☼z rn guvt now & hold pozshnzv powr. Probli sum 20-
30,000 vth n4·ts r stil l¤v & krtli get blakmaeld 2voet nprtklr waez x b-n thrtnd wth kspoezuer 2th
mbars··t vthr gr&kdz etc. 4n 2 kazBiAmNiYeSras h¤l¤td 4 mi thwae HISTORY RETAINS ITS
GRIP nth prznt nlthl& (¤ tr¤ nsukssfuli 2 ksplaen 2 H). Kazimieras 4 ♂ kn ° wthn kl·knshnz z♂
nvr · th¬ & ddnt btrae noe1 & ¤ bleev ♂m. ThSTATE ks2 kmprm¤z tz srvnts soez2 rtaen thr loilti
rtleest thr oebeedins. ¤ hdhd ndfrnt gzampl vhow HISTORY RETAINS ITS GRIP ← JURBARKAS
wn nm¤ vri 1
st
4 wth aVnAzNeČlYmSas 4 noe reezn th@ woz kl·2mi ♂ gaev ndtaeld ksplnaeshn
vhow ♂ hlpt prvnt ♂z fthrz µ from bn dmolsht wn vriuthr µ nthr vilj woz 2maekwae4 thKOLŪKIS
(kolhoz). Daez l8r tkerd 2mi how kstrordnri mbarsn tmust hvbn 2bnoen 2b ← thoenli µ 2 srv¤v
thKOMOEZ. & sins Anzelmas zn nior s¤k¤trst ¤ koodnt hlp rmmbrn how deepli kmprm¤zd
thprfshn woz ndr thkomeez wr poltkl nmeez wr rooteenli kkuezdv bn owtvtutchwth rialti & drugd wth
LRGAKTL. Ndeed noe gruep nsos¤ti z4st2 kmprm¤z tslf morthn ths¤ki@rk prfshn bkoz tz
lwaez CHEEPR 2chaenj m x drugnm thn 2chaenj th· 2 suetmor m. Thkost vn uetopian sos¤
ti zhuej & w thtxpaeyrz rnot prprd 2pae. Oyair, kazBiAmNiYeSras zm¤ mmdi@ naebr sins ♂ livz
@ no.3 & ¤m staen @ no.4 Pylimo g (3/4/07. COINCIDENCE?). ♂ 4 th wthth stork (ciconia
ciconia) zn Kaimo Turizmo ndk8n thgraedvth kkomdaeshn. 1 ciconia zth loest lvl vservs wchz w¤
¤m nli paen 30Lt/n¤t. “The sweetness of having neither family nor companions, the gentle
pleasure akin to that of exile, in which we feel the pride of distance shade into a hesitant
voluptuousness, into the vague disquiet that comes with being far from home – yes, in
my own indifferent way I enjoy all that.” (18/8/06. The sweetness can be made quite permanent if
you wish.) – Pessoa (alias Bernardo Soares (“a semi-heteronym because, although his
personality is not mine, it is not different from but rather a simple mutilation of my
personality. It’s me minus reason and affectivity.”) one of the imaginary authors to whom
Pessoa gave complete biographies and who wrote in styles and expressed philosophies and
attitudes different from his own) 198 [367].
17/7 /06. Ystrdae ¤ hd pland2: RIMEISIAI → MĖGUČIAI → ŠEŠUOLIAI → ŽELVA (=)
→ BALNINKAI (=) → VALAI → VIRKŠČIAI → RIMEISIAI. But 1
st
¤ t off @th µv Audrius Smulskis
(& w¤f Laila) 24 gdb¤ z¤ thort ¤db leevn → KAUNAS 2dae & probli wdntb n thmgaen ztz nl¤kli
(givn Hz ngst (what a nice choice of word – here’s what it says in the dictionary: 3/4/07. from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page: “Angst (6/4/07. notnm¤ Shorter Oxford English Dictionary)
is a Dutch, German, and Scandinavian word for fear or anxiety. It is used in English to describe an intense
feeling of emotional strife. It is usually, but not always, associated with teenage angst, or confusion and
anxiety within the self. ¶ A different but related meaning is attributed to Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard
(1813–1855). In The Concept of Anxiety, Kierkegaard used the word angest (Danish, meaning "dread") to
describe a profound and deep-seated spiritual condition of insecurity and despair in the free human being.
Where the animal is a slave to its God-given instincts but always confident in its own actions, Kierkegaard
believed that the freedom given to mankind leaves the human in a constant fear of failing its responsibilities to
God. Kierkegaard's concept of angst is considered to be an important stepping stone for 20th-century
existentialism. ¶ While Kierkegaard's feeling of angst is fear of actual responsibility to God, in modern use,
angst is broadened to include general frustration associated with the conflict between actual responsibilities to
self, one's principles, and others (possibly including God).” And from http://www.the-freedictionary.com:
“angst
1
(ängkst) n. ¶ A feeling of anxiety or apprehension often accompanied by depression. ¶
[German, from Middle High German angest, from Old High German angust; see angh- in Indo-
European roots.]”)) ¤l bkumn 2 lthl& nfuechr. Audrius & Laila rprobli thmoest mprsv ♀/♂ ¤v met
oevr 2 vzts & wood ·j rl¤vlihood nni kuntri nth· ¤ majn. ¤ 8 flzv goozbrz wchr just kumn r¤p &
Audrius brortowt sumv ♂z strorbri w¤n 2 drink rtoest. Laila brort th Deltuvos Kulturos
Almanachas (Deltuva Culture Almanac) 2003 4mi 2taek bak wchz fulv thdtaeld hstri
100
vUKMERGĖ, ŠEŠUOLIAI, SIESIKAI etc. wch looks vri ntrstn & ¤d ♥ 2keep but mnot shor how2
nkluedt nth limtd spaes nth pak. (Vaidas sjsts ¤ t←VILNIUS). Audrius showdmi nthmap how 2f¤nd
rprprti hidn nth 4st wch ♂ 4 woodb ntrstn 2mi zthr wrold µµ nt & vidns th@ thplaes hdbn nhabtd &
frmd 4rlong . Z¤ woz O2leev Laila wntoff & kaem← wth r1ltr plstk botl fildwth thr strorbri w¤n 4mi
2taek nthdaez n. Soeoff ¤ →2 ruerl lthl& nrprfkt breezi dae wth rbotlv w¤n & rgoodbook nm¤
pak. (And God’s in His Heaven, alls right with the world – see how fast a belly ache can disappear under
the right conditions?) nŠEŠUOLIAI ¤ vztd thchrch bkoz thlrst ¤ woznt 2y··rgoe twoz bn rnv8d.
Thr woz rsrvs nproegrs &t woz rmstaek 2 →n zth sermn wozO2 *t & twnt n&n. Vri ♂ t & ¤ thort
twoz fnsht, ♂d *t↑ gaen. Wth m¤ dmjd h·n ¤ koodnt ndrs& thdtael kspt th@th maen theem woz –
‘bred, ♥, & prair’. ¤ think vr1 bleevz nbred & ♥ & ♂ woz tr¤n 2 knvns thkongrgaeshn thei shood +
prair 2thlist. Wn ♂ f¤nli fnsht & trnd O 2 faes tholtr ¤ sneekt owt & rÆlv00yrdz ↓throed tookr swigvw
¤n. ¤ fownd thprprti Andrius 1td mi 2vzt ftr sum serchn. Tz korld Ažuolynė &tz O 1k ↑N vth roed ←
ŠEŠUOLIAI → ŽELVA (=) O 3kz prst ŠEŠUOLIAI. Th·jr vth plaes z aPrOtCūIrUaSs & wn ¤ rkst
♂m fthrwoz nplaes 2 x nmeel nŽELVA (=) ♂ nv¤td mi 2æ wthm zthei wr O 2hv brkfst. N fue ♂♂ srfst
nkluedn thoenr & nÆlv muezoez. Thr hdbn n4dae muezk fstvl thr thpreevius weeknd wch hdbn
@10dd x 2000 m ←orloevrth·. Ntrns woz 12€. H·z thblerb: “TRANSFORMERS & KUB
PRESENTS: (here is included a request from himself : ‘plees tiep from advertisment………’ so I will , through
my tears (9/4/07. th t¤pn vth 1
st
drrft ( CD t¤tld ALL THAT WAS ALL THAT WILL BE) vLitho Trip
2 (← wch ths ntri ztaekn) rkw¤rd 60,000 werdz).) ELECTRONIC MUSIC FESTIVAL ¶ TUNDRA
’06 from 10
th
til 13
th
day of cosmic moon 2006 July 06-09 § Lithuania Azuolyne ¶ A cold land
located on a marshy area, which is full of mosquitoes but of daily mysticism either. Air,
fire, water, and earth – everything that symbolizes art, mysticism and rhythm. Every
moving figure diffuses rhythm. Heartbeats help you fall into a trance. Therefore, while
repeating the original sound you can realize who you are and escape from your body.
World is an illusion, however, illusion does not exist without the world … 4 stages of
different music, firedancers, chai, shiva kitchen, bodypainting, piercing, workshops,
campings, fire places, healing area, showers and much more …. § info :
http://tranzu.yra.lt § infoline : +37065379342, +37067941229 § entrance : 12€.” Artūras woz
keen 2 show mi O thmaen _ &th rmaenzvth staejz etc b4 w s@↓ 4nsloe æ knsstnv nomlt wth spudz
& nunyn fr¤d oevr noepn f¤r (LAUŽAS) wch hd probli bn bernn 4

thnt¤r sins th *tv thfstvl. W
drank t & b·(¤ ddnt rveel ¤ woz karin r1ltr botlv strorbrw¤n nmi pak & stil feel glti) & 4. 1vthm 4
♂ woz rpagonis (pagan) & thei orl greed thei wr 2 but th@ twoz mor l¤k naechr ♥n thnr rljn. Artūras
4 thei wr bst dskr¤bdz ‘greenz’. Nuthr 4 thei rspktd µ sprits, spshliov oekµµ. ♂ 4 rkordn 2 nshnt
ltho trdshnz ue rnot loud 24 thnaemvth cheef paegn god PERKŪNAS but ue must korl ♂m
GRIAUSMAVALDYS (thundrgod). ¤ 4 ♂m nshnt =z hd simlr bleefs Oth naemv god. Artūras gotn2
♂z pet sbjkt: ♂z wor wth th·· hoo 1t2 hunt nth prpti. ♂ duznt llowt & theiv thrtnd 2shuet ♂m. Huntn
zoutv kntrol nlthl& boeth 2maek A← 2rsts & 4 thsport. ··i ledn poltshnz ♥ huntn & 4 sum ltho ♂♂
tz bownd↑wth thr noeshnzv masklnti. Thrz noe ffktv lobigruep gaenstt & ♂z ↑gaenstt, nrh¤dn20. L8r
♂ tookmi 2 thswomp nth 4st prst th_ wr 100zvth vztrz hd SH@ (nstdv uezn thportbl toilts prv¤dd) 2
look4 th Pilkoji gervė (Grus grus) vwch ♂ 4 svrl ♂/♀ ♂/♀ nhabt thswomp. Thoenr hd4 w woodnt f
¤nd 1 bkoz thei wr 2sh¤ but noenli th3
rd
● w chktowt w ●d 1 vri kloes2 wr wwr h¤dn nth 4st. Grus
grus, rltvvth Brolga (Grus rubicundus) & Sarus (Grus antigone) kraenz (GERVĖ) vOZ, z x fr thtorlst
· nlthl& bn knsdrbli torlr thnth Ciconia ciconia. ¤ woz soe ks¤td ¤ ddnt sml thSHIT zt woz th1
st

n2 trips ¤d ·jd 2 1 ← kloes↑. Tnvr sorustorl & wkoodhv d zlongzwwontd2. ¤ hoep Artūras (litho 4
Arthur) rmaenz th·jr z¤m shor ♂z sn r nwontz2 przrv thn@chrl vluez vth _ but ¤ sspkt greed4 th
A wl dtrmn thowtkumz. Thei 4 thr aem z2 teech m 2 rspkt naechr & 2prv¤d nrfuej 4 rtsts hoo
wont2 getwae ←thsiti. Thoenr tr¤d 2torkmi →2 spndn thn¤t nstedv goen ←2 RIMEISIAI. Oyair, thei
think thei knget EU subsdez 4 wot thr doon. ¤ ndd↑ spndn thOrvoe wth Artūras w¤l thuthrz (kspt
thoenr) wr 1drn O wth plstk rubsh bagz kleenn↑ ftr thmuezk ♥rz. Artūras 4 theid pik↑ thSHIT ppr 2.
@ O 6pm ¤ lft koz ¤ ddnt wont th·· 2b 1drn wr ¤ woz fthei kaem ← thIGNALINA _ b4 mi. Z¤
woz longth grvl roed → ŠEŠUOLIAI nldrli ♀ woz →n long wth rfuls¤z bukt vmėlynės (bluebrz)
wch hd taekn ♀ orldae (sins 8am) 2klkt. ♀ maedmi Æ mi & fildm↑ 2oevrfloen & wn ¤ hd pord sum
→2 mi¬ ♀ toptm↑. W¤l ¤ woz etnm st&n str¤d mi ♀ →d rhed & wn ¤ woz prst ♀r gaen ♀
torktmi →2 etn nuthr ful Æt fl. ¤ ffrd ♀r sum strorbri w¤n but ♀ 4 ♀ ddnt drink lkO & wood hv
101
ndrinkv H2O wn ♀ got µ. Wn ¤ got ← 2 RIMEISIAI ¤ woz reedn thalmanachas wn rnaebr droevn
2uez thpirti. ♂ nv¤td mi 2join ♂m & ♂z ☼. Rparntli ¤ metm 2 y··rgoe. Nowr l8r thPIRTIS woz
redi (men th··got←) & w dun thful ruetenv 3 sshnz thoe ¤ woz thoenli 1 2doo 3 ful dunks nth
Šešuola rvr. @tz hotst thPIRTIS woz hetd↑2 90º C & twoz FUKNHOT (rFCUKNHOT) soe th@ ¤ woz
1drn fm¤ skin m¤t *t plnof. ¤ hv nvr noen thzk¤ndv het. Wn th·↓2 70º ♂ pord thrmainn b·
(←th2ltr plstk botl w hdbn drinkn ←) ↓2 th hot stoenz 4 thsteem & throemr. Ftr ¤ kum owtvth PIRTI
¤ woz df gaen but¤ ddnt kair koz ¤ woz stll¤v. Wn w got ← 2 thµ Audrius woz vztn wth sumvth
kidz. Nsdntli Vaidas 4 ue kood h·thmuezk fstvl ←h·(4kz ← Ažuolinė zth kroe (corvus) ¬z) &
sum naebrz 4 thei koodnt get2slep zt lrstd orln¤t long vrn¤t. Thmuezak @th fstvl woz maenli tknoe
wch h¤l¤td thkntrdkshnz nth vnchr & nth Ov lithl&. ¤ 1dr ft ffkts thAURA wch Artūras 4 theihv @th
plaes rth m¤graeshn rootsv··wch ♂ 4 chaenj kors oevr thprpti. Nt2 wori – thrz rhlv rlotv uthr
plaesz wth AURA nlthl& fue bleevwot m 4. W wnt2 < l8 & ¤ slpt porli & woek rli koz ¤ wozdrunk
nstrorbri w¤n. Ddnt doo thpl& koz ¤v bn ' th♫♪ & nowm goen 2 morvth Almanachas. Vaidas
zdrorn pkchrz 4r kidz ♂z 2prznt → nditr nrfue daez. Thjob woz nkspktd & tz rbitv rrush. Miglė zvztn
thSmulskiai (ie Audrius & Laila) & maestae 4thn¤t. Brigitaz paentn & doon krftwrk nth bkyrd. Tz 3pm.
H·z thdaeliproegrm 4 thfstvl: ”LIVE : PSYCHEDELIC TRANCE (06-09 day) § DJs : DRUM ‘N’
BRASS (07-09 day) § LIVE : ELECTRO/TECHNO (07-09 day) § LIVE : CHILLOUT (06-09
day)”. Thpsykdlk trns muezoez r: “SINEWAVE (Alchemy records) – Australia § MO (Lunatic-
circus) – Germany § NO BRAIN (Mind syrup) – Lithuania § PORTAL PROTECTION – Estonia §
DJs : BLUESTORM (Dreamworks) – Holland § CAPTAIN APPO (Pelto recs./Wider versions) –
Finland § DA-LA (Mindfunk music) – Sweden § DENNIS (Psyntology movement) – Germany
§ ESCOGIDO (Siloka) – Lithuania § FICUS (Mind syrup) – Lithuania § KLITORIKS (Mind
syrup) – Lithuania § KURANT (Mind syrup) – Lithuania § MARC MINDTUNE (AP
records/Psyntology movement) – Germany § MANTRANON (Optimystica) – Germany §
MAN@SPACE (Liquids) – Latvia § NAZARETH (Massive trance) – Mexico § NEKTARAS
(Siloka) – Lithuania § PANZA (Digital sound) – Poland § PARANORMAL ACTIVITY
(Psyntology movement) – Germany § PUOSKARI (Freakdance records) – Finland § ROST
(www.trancegress.ee) – Estonia § SWABEDOODAH (Spontaneous aerobics rec.) –
Germany § TOLIK PRUZINKIN (Cosmogen) – Estonia § XYNUS (Siloka) – Lithuania § ZOOCH
(Higher realm) – Lithuania”. V hz brortowt rÆlvb·z. Tz nprfkt m¤ld dae wthn rfrshn northli brez.
Brigita & V rO2 hedoff → UKMERGĖ nth ø (300kg). ♂z wairn rhlmt & ♀ hzr s÷f. Tznt kmplsri 2 wair
hlmts n r øø nlthl& …. V&B kaem ← wth nbotlv OZ w¤n “Carson’s Cliff DRY RED WINE
AUSTRALIA 2005 CABERNET SHIRAZ (Carson’s Cliff is a full-bodied, spicy red wine from
Australia. Enjoy this wine together with venison, hearty beef dishes and savoury
cheeses. ¶ Ideal serving temperature: 16-18°C. ¶ Carson’s Cliff ist ein vollmundiger,
wurziger Rotwein aus Australien. GeniBen Sie diesen Wein zu Wild, herzhaften
Rindfleischgerichten und wurzigem Hartkase. ¶ Ideale Trinktemperatur: 16-18°C”) @ 13Lt
& Audrius m¤tb kumn 2n¤t wth summor strorbri w¤n…. thlluestraeshnz V zdrorn r4 ' x
LAvNyDtSaBuEtRaGsIS ☼v th LAvNyDtSaBuEtRaGsIS (4mr prmyr vorl lthl&)…
24/7 /06. 8.45. ¤ ·d th3o’ & th 8o’ . Rthr thn spnd thmornn serchn4 kkmdaeshn ¤l
goe & thppr oevr kofi & W Egle 2kspt ♀r ofr 2 min 4 2n¤ts @th Metropolis…. Nthwae owt ¤
rportd th@ thshowr roezt woz kumnof & th♀ told mi ¤ kood stae nuthr 2n¤ts z1vth prti tn 42n¤t
woznt kumn, th ¤deel slueshn 4 mi. ¤ 4got 2 ··shn ystrdae th@ ¤ korldn @ thchrch servs nth
mornn @ thrkikatedra owtv rspkt 4 thnsttueshn nhooz vri wl kpt bldn ¤ woz µd. ¤ hv2rport thchrch
woz pakt – lthoez rvri rljus. Lrst n¤t ftr ☼↓ @ O10 z¤ woz →n long thlmoest dzrtd koblzv Vilniaus
g. ¤ rirl¤zd ¤ woz →n →2 npkchr ÷d setn. Tz 1vth moest buetfl & rair ksp·iansz ¤ noe. ¤ hv
prviusli ksp·ianstt nth Flinders Ranges wr ue sum z feel zf ue r →n →2 rHans Hysen paentn.
Ftr nw¤l ¤ lookt← & ¤ nue ¤ woz ns¤d th ÷d. Thrz ntuchv deja vue nth ksp·ians. Ths mornn
¤ woz n (& torowt thrtkl 2show th··) nth Lietuvos Rytas O O str¤k nfr¤dae wch damjd rbrn &
lft nold ♀ df 4 2daez & nold ♂ wth n n♂z ··. ♀ woz O 4yrdz ←thksploezion. Thr wr ··i smlrtez
btwen thr & m¤ ksp·iansz but thei ·d rlrj ksploezion & sor n_v lluemnaeshn b4 rhuej thundrklap.
Tmaeks mi sspkt thsaem mae hvbn true 4 mi but th@th mmri woz w¤ptowt x thlktrk shok nthwae
dprsv paeshnts kn luez rsnt mmri ftr ECT shok thrpi. Ftr brkfst ¤ bort rmapv KAUNAS oldtown ← th
u 4 1Lt & W th·· hoor nRIMEISIAI 2 4 ¤ wood prbli bkumn x th10.30 rth 17.00 7 nwnzdae. Thei
rgoen → VILNIUS nthdae but wlb← nth evnn. Miglė zwae orl wek @ rkidz_. Theil lev th owt shood
102
¤ kum x thrlir 7. ¤ ♪s throezet nth showr hzbn rplaesd. M goen 2 W Raimundas zpromst & sjst w
goe&hv rdrink nth nli br nKAUNAS wch slz Gubernijos Ekstra, nb··fkchrd nŠIAULIAI wch ♂ h¤li
rk··dz … ¤ thort thb·woz just rdnri but thknvsaeshn woz moest rveln. rEaIiMmOuNnTdAaSs rm
¤ndd migaenv LfOrVaEnCkE soe mutch th@t kn nli meen, z♂ ♂mslf sjstd, wr m¤nr prduktsv ·w¤
d 4sz byond owr kntrol rundrst&n. Ftrwrdz w ← long Laisvės Alėja & prtd kumpni n·thSOBORAS z
¤ wontd 2→ & nspkt thnueli rnv8d chrch ↑thhil. Ths mustb thuglist chrch nKAUNAS but kuep¤z npr
¤m pozshn & woz thpr¤dv ndpndnt prwor lthl&. Th °mtrk dz¤n woodhv dun justs 2 thsoeviet·a &
klnikl w¤t nt·ior maedmi thinkv hosptlz. Juern thsoeviet y·· twoz uezd zn o & B faktri & ¤
woodnt bsorift stil woz. Ue kn pae 5Lt 2taek rlift 2 th↑vth towr 4n vuewv KAUNAS. Z¤ got ←2 thgstµ
r7fulv POELZ puld↑ owts¤d thfruntdor. Thr m¤ nue naebrz. ¤ doent look4wd 2 2n¤t – POELZ
rnoizi. ¤ hd *td thdae 1sgaen n thppr nrko~op nValančiaus g. wchz 1vth strets runn →2
Rotušės _. Bort æ @ thsaem plaes thoe ¤ koodv gott @ ½ thpr¤s lswr. Thn ¤ droptnn
ReUgDiIdNiSjKuAsS & got nuthr1 vth krsts ♂z ds¤nd. ¤ 4 ¤ m¤t baebl2uez (6/4/07. butddnt) O
5mor wch ♂ 4 ♂ kn maek. ¤ 4 ♂m CAiLtVaIlNoO hd 'n O mjnri sitez & ♂ showd mi rpkchr v♂z
wth rkwoet ←th . W torkt O CAeNlEiTaTsI & ♂ puldowt thlthoe trnzlaeshnv Crowds & Power.
Tsems thrr ··i snrjz twenus. ¤m vri plezd wkn kopr8. ¤ 4 ¤ wood → ♂m nkopiov m¤ In My
Father’s House poem (nthlji no 31) bkoz thluestraeshnz ¤ uezd x nfrnch rtst rm¤ndd miov ♂z wrk
…. →d long thNemunas & 2 thfowntaen nLaisvės Alėja (Raimundas 4 wn m wont2 drs↑ & → pro
··aedn nth v KAUNAS thei sae “EINAM I LAISVE”) & ←n2 thlluezion vn 4mr aej (pkchr ÷d) 2
fnsh @ Skliautas & µ @ 11pm. M¤ naebrz nold ♀. ♀ kofs.
31/7 /06. Ystrdae orlth vztrz lft. 4 goodb¤ 2vri1 zf w woodnt metgaen kspt2 Gintas hooz
wrkn nVILNIUS ths wek & sjstd wmet 4lunch (got ♂z· (Brigitaz znt wrkn kozt hdbn lftowt nth^ oevrn
¤t nthroofvth÷)). Miglė woz ←← ♀ _ wch ♀ 4 wozth bst. @ ☼↓ mi & V polshtof nbotlv STUMBRO
STARKA @ 43% (‘Spanguoliu TRAUKTINĖ bitter Cranberry’. Kompzshn: “minkštinas vanduo,
grūdinis rektifikuotas etilo alkoholis, vynas, brendis, natūraliu augalu antilas, spanguoliu antpilas,
dažiklis – karamelė, cukrus.”) Twoz drunk nth spirtv goodb¤ saen w¤l Brigita 1drd O wth th bustd·
lookn nkshz. Ddnt chk wot wwnt → <. Slpt wthowt dreemz. Got↑ 1
st
@ 8 & wntowt 2chk nth storks
(Ciconia ciconia) – THEY HAVE LEFT THE NEST. GOODB¤! …
7/8/06 . Took brkfst nth æ room 4 th 1
st
sins ¤v bn h·. Ddt 4 thv¤tmnz wch ¤v
bnnglktn. Ue kn etzmuchz ue wont & tz fre. ¤ hdnt rial¤zd twoz nkluedd nth 75Lt daeli tarf. T^d
orln¤ & thsowndvt nth oepn sk¤l¤t & thkoolair gaevmi rgood slep. Thprvius n¤t ¤ flt loenli: ¤m
naebl 2blong2 (¤dntf¤) wth paetriotk rsuch gruepnz wthr lthoe rOZ, rkari z, rmblmz etc
bkoz tr¤blzm rplz mi & ¤ ÷nt taekprt nful♥d rljus bzrvns bkoz ¤m notnsheep. ¤ lak
thnstnkt 2foloe ¤thr shphrd rfurr; mnaebl2. Ystrdae evnn ¤ woz 42 n♂ hooz nskulptr hoo 4
thwrk nvr t¤rz ♂m bkoz ♂ njoizt soemuch but ¤m getn laezi koz ¤m noelongr 'n wth prpuz. Orl ¤
wont z2b wth famli & frndz but ¤v got nsplit shue (tz ^n now & zsuen z¤ goeowt m¤ r¤t foot wilb
wet) & rwek 2 spnd nVIENNA wch ¤m notlookn4wd2. (10 ). Maeb ¤ shood prae4 rmrkl. ¤ told th
OZ · (@ brki) O th mrklus mdonr @ Aušros Vartai (♂ noez bsluetli 0 & ♂z levn 2dae rtmoroe) &
ystrdi Austra sd th pkchr vth Mother of God n The Church of the Visitation of St Virgin Maria
wch ¤ hd viztd zorlsoe mrklus. Thpkchr zsd 2hvbn paentd n1123. Twoz givn2 Vytautas zn prznt
n1390 x mprr Emmanuel II. Austra rknz ue hv2 reli blev 4 mrklz 2hapn (4/4/07. tz w¤ thei hapn (z¤
woz 4 Wing Tang ystrdae)). Thoenli gathrn ¤ m¤t blong2 zngruepv ° 'z & rz & ue ÷nt hvrb
·(14/7/07. duznt m@r now z¤m ofth GROG (17/7/07. e¯ rsevd ← K8 2dae: “Oh-well we will see
each other at Joe and Katies and organise Monday then – on Sunday. Monday on Sunday!
Maybe we can meet for breakfast and have a Viet soup at Mekong in Swanston? Talk to
you Sunday. PS I hear you have stopped drinking – excellent, it’s a wise move and will be
really good for you in the long run but the first 3 months are terribly hard – probably you
will feel under the weather and all sorts of weird problems will occur with your skin and
sometimes the ears start ringing and hurting and sleeping is fitful and moods are
swinging because your blood sugar is haywire etc etc …. I recommend a lot of water
drinking – particularly good quality mineral waters, whole foods, almonds and walnuts
(kept in a bag to be snacked on regularly) and low impact exercise – stetching is
particularly useful. Good luck with it – stay away from places that smell like grog too
because the smell will fill you with a weird kind of neurotic longing that is indicative of
103
the mental activity of a poison still desiring to exist in your system, or a phisyology
desiring to be poisoned out of habit. (have you read Artauds’ The Theatre and The
Plague? (18/7/07. n♀r nxt e¯ ♀ 4 ♀z runtoff 4me 2 but ¤ doent ned 2 stuf x mad·· ¤m lrdi
srtf¤d)) ¶ See you at the Baby Shower. ¶ Kate xx” (21/7/07. K8s nxt e¯v 20/7/07: “This has
been going around the school – thought you’d be interested: ¶ ‘Only great minds can
read this. This is weird but interesting! ¶ If you can raed this, you have a sgrtane mnid
too. Can yuo raed this? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. ¶ I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod
aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan nnid,
aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in what oerdr the
ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the
rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl msses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm.
This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a
wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! ¶ xx”)) sins ¤
suspkt tz korzn thIMPOTENCE (rolmoest) ¤m ksp·insn sins wr ←← EUROPR) nr br wthth °.
2goeowt & thppr. ÷nt x nue shuez til 2mroe zth mrkt zshut nmundaez ….
14/8 /06 . €15.50 (tikt4kruez (x 3 howrz) knal → DANUBE ← knal) + €3.60 (b·(500)
nbord) + €3.60 (kofi @ CAFÉ GRIENSTEIDL (5/4/07. “This was the location of one of Vienna’s
most famous coffeehouses, the Café Griensteidl. … what made these institutions so
particularly Viennese, has been very aptly described by Stefan Zweig: “Actually it is a
sort of democratic club, accessible to anyone at the mere price of a cup of coffee, where,
having paid this tribute, a guest may sit for hours, discussing, writing, playing cards,
receiving his mail and above all digesting an unlimited number of newspapers and
magazines.” Thus it had become customary to sit practically all day long with only one
cup of coffee, reading all the papers. No one rushed you, no one disturbed you – only the
waiter, respectfully addressed as “Herr Ober”, came by from time to time to replenish
the obligatory glass of water. Any Viennese coffehouse aspiring to the name, still offers
this kind of unique atmosphere today. … Its founder, Heinrich Griensteidl, a pharmacist
and innkeeper, had opened his coffeehouse here in 1847. If he had hoped that the
household staff from the nearby Palace would habituate his establishment, he was
disappointed, because his guests were usually intellectuals and politicians, but also
actors from the court theatre across the square. However, what contributed most
towards the fame of this coffeehouse, was that the writers chose it as their retreat :
Schnitzler, Salten, Beer-Hofmann, Hofmannsthal and Hermann Bahr frequented it. Even
the ever-mocking satirist Karl Kraus was a regular client and when “the Griendsteidl” had
to be demolished in 1897, he wrote an obituary which ridiculed the entire contemporary
literary scene. Being thus exiled, most of them moved to the Café Central. The end of
the Café Griensteidl shocked Vienna in those days, but lo and behold in 1990 it opened
its doors anew.” ← In Search of Vienna: Walking Tours in the City x Henriette Mandl,
1995) wr ¤ th ppr) + €7.50 (8 ham & egz & drnk b·& n´v rd w¤n korzt woz ^n nrkafé @th
HOEHERMARKT (5/4/07. “The main function of the square … was that of a market,
specializing in fish and crayfish. A fishery law dated February 1516 quaintly states:
“Para. 6 – No one may sell fish who is not a citizen and does not have a wedded wife.”
One wonders why bachelors were not allowed to sell fish. In its centre there was a
fountain called th Fish Fountain which, by the middle of the 16
th
century, had its own
water supply flowing from four pipes. This water came all the way from Hernals (now one
of the outer districts of Vienna) in order to supply enough fresh water for the live fish
sold at the market. ¶ The square lent itself ideally to festivities such as the
“Hohannesfeuer” (a mixture of the pagan midsummernight celebration and the Christian
feast of St. John the Baptist). It is first recorded in 1481, but was probably quite old by
then. A fine sight it must have been, too: first the City Counsellors arriving on their
horses, followed by drumm-ers and pipers. Then came the sparsely clad
“Hübschlerinnen” (Pretties), also referred to as the “free daughters”, both being
euphaemisms for the town prostitutes, and finally the craftsmen. Very soon all would be
dancing around a big fire. Wine flowed very freely and the merry-making turned into a
regular Bacchanalia. In 1524 it was forbidden by the police.”)) + €2.50 (psvptzr n·
104
Schwedenplatz æ staeshn) + €2.90 (kofin Fleishmarkt (5/4/07. thloekaeshnv HotelPost wr¤
staed nthwae ←←lthl& lrsty·&wrwr tn4th lrst 3 daez (juen23-25) vths y··trip)) + €16.24 (In
Lithuanian Wood x Wendell Mayo bort@ Shakespeare Company Book Sellers (5/4/07. thrz1
nPARIS2. Tz thnaemv thkumpni th@publsht James Joycez Ulysses wn noe1ls wood tucht) = €52
+ €47 = €100 (ieOA$170). +€6.80 (x´´ vsangria) = €107 (A$182).
(30/6/07. Completion of Mondays from Litho Trip 2 (1
st
draft on CD t¤tld: ALL THAT WAS ALL THAT WILL BE))
16/4 /07 (Journal ♪♫ Italy . €4 (2 stubeezv Heineken b·bort ystrdae evnn ← ~ rftr ¤
hddun m¤ jrnl ntri & kum←← thorgn knsrt @ S. PRESSEDE) + €1,38 (kostv ~ ystrdae) + €0,90 (3
÷toliniov moezaeks ← S. PRESSEDE) + €50 ((← m¤ krdt÷d) 4 t^~tz → NAPOLI 4 wnzdae 18
th
@ 9.45am) + €0,70 (uesv toilt @ STAZIONE TERMINI (2vus wnt thrue nthdv¤sv rloekl) but w fownd
€1 nth ntri E soe w maedn €0,30 prft) + €3,50 (jlrti bortn nVIA DEL CORSO) ½ wae btwen PIAZZA
DEL POPOLO & MAUSOLEO AUGUSTO) + €3,00 (10 ÷tolini 4 H) + €6,50 (birra + l@é nrbr nthwae
←) + €13,72 (supermercato: chino 0,41; pomodori 0,25; cetrioli 0,36; yoghurt 0,75; pane speciale
3,39; ciriola 0,25; porchetta di ariccia 4,02; vino rosso 1,17; gastronomia 2,57; wafer, 0,55) = ( 4
7pm) €84 + €80 (kkmdaeshn) = €164 [$A279]. Walked in a new area today between Santa Maria
Maggiore and Stazione Termini – the Esquiline Hill, a cemetary for plebs and an execution ground in Roman
times: more thrilling ruins in the park near Piazza Vittorio Emanuele II. There were interesting Indian,
African and Pakistani shops in the area. We negotiated buying a ticket to Napoli for Wednesday 18/4 like
this: wandered around looking at notice boards and couldn’t work out anything so asked a railway
policeman who sent us to tourist information office at platform 1. An English speaking girl (who had just
arrived late and was a bit miffed at not being greeted properly – we had jumped into our question without
the customary and expected “Buongiorno”) sent us to platform 4 for information re travelling to Maiori. At
platform 4 the information office was manned by a woman who held up a sign saying “English inside”, so
we went round the back to another entrance where a small queue of hopefuls was standing waiting to be
let in one at a time through an electronically operated door which had a button saying “Press to enter” so
we did and got motioned out by a severe looking woman behind the desk (with 2 compatriots – all were
busy – she was sending/receiving faxes, another woman was shuffling paper and a man was on the
phone). We waited patiently, during which time an official looking man with another in tow went in, and an
American woman came out, with the comment “They are all insane in there”. However we finally got in
and the fax woman proved quite helpful, telling us to go to the ticket office behind “Maccorna” which
turned out to be Maccas. The young man there spoke excellent English and was most helpful and sold us
the ticket for €50 (for 2). We have to be at platform 5 at the station 20 minutes before departure time
(9.45am) to find out what platform the train leaves from. We get to Maiori by SITA bus from Napoli. It was a
big and time-consuming adventure! Then, to celebrate our success, we used the station toilets. It cost
€0,70 to get in but we found €1 in the change slot, and we were urged by a friendly local woman to go
through the automatic barrier together, so it turned out to be a pee that earned us €0,30. Out into the
unknown area north west to Villa Borghese and its gardens and parks. On the way we went into Basilica
Sacro Cuore di Gesu a Castro Pretorio where the gypsy girl begging on the steps had to take ‘time out’
when her mobile phone rang! (2 older gypsy women I’ve seen (50+?) were begging in positions of extreme
supplication – kneeling with foreheads on the ground and cup extended in one hand). According to Anna at
reception here they are covered by the welfare system. We sat on the grass next to the Terme di
Diocleziano (closed on Mondays, as are nearly all of the ancient attractions) to read the map and then
stumbled on the marvel of the Basilica de Santa Maria degli Angeli just round the corner, which is actually
part of the baths complex, Michelangelo’s last architectural work finished when he was 86. The Baths were
the largest complex of thermal baths anywhere in the Roman Empire, built between 298-306 AD and cover
376 x 361 metres. The Basilica incorporates the Tepidarium (heated area), one of the 3 major areas in the
complex (the other 2 are the frigidarium (cold swimming pool) and the calidarium (hot water pool)). The
scale is big. On the Via Bissolati orange trees line both sides of the street, with blossom and higher up big,
luscious looking fruit which John couldn’t resist jumping for. He got 2 and we were looking forward to a
treat, but they were bitter – we ate ½ and had to throw the rest away. Trees lining streets are rare in Rome.
We entered the Borghese gardens through the Porta Pinciana in the ancient wall and sat on a stump in the
shade to eat our lunch. Wandered in the parks, admiring buildings and statues and fountains (no Berninis,
but a nice one of mer-horses called the Fountain of Seahorses) and a lake with fish and ducks and an 18
th
century Greek temple of Esculapius on which people were rowing boats. The Rome zoo abuts this part of
the Villa Borghese with its forecourt named after the first Italian heartthrob taken up by Hollywood “Largo
Vittorio Gassman, attore”. Past the zoo we wandered into embassy territory (Romania, Egypt, Sweden) in
the vicinity of the National Art Gallery, where we asked a charming elderly lady for directions to the Piazza
del Popolo (she practised her English on us and was eager to let us know of important events of interest to
tourists taking place in St Peter’s Square on the 29
th
April and suggested we ask the nearby bus drivers for
directions, which we did & they indicated where to go). From the Piazza del Popolo (very large open space)
we found the Mausoleum of Augustus via Via del Corso. It’s a circular mound rising from well below to well
above street level with lots of trees on it, but nothing else visible. Right opposite is the Ara Pacis, now
105
surrounded by a glassy museum which was closed (Monday). Then a diversion across the Ponte Cavour to
see a Gothic church with a typical spire (like St Paul’s and St Patrick’s) which is unusual among the more
romanesque churches of Rome, but we couldn’t find an open door, so kept moving past the Palazzo
Guistizia, adorned with enormous statues of famous legal types, over the Ponte Umberto I back into the
tourist hordes of Piazza Navona, Piazza della Rotonda (Pantheon), Trevi Fountain, through small back
streets into Via Panisperna and home. Our Crocs are marvellous to walk in and draw glances from people
in the street. I’ve only seen one other person wearing a pair.
23/4 /07. Wvbn nduljnn rsktaekn bhaevyr: kl¤·· 2··i SCALA rsks Hz hips (prtkuelrli
thlft1) & ♀r ne (rlsoe lft) & 6 vrimornn rsks ktv8n m¤ SHAGGERS BACK (wth @10dnt hamstrng etc
prlbmz (15/7/07. thoez wr thdaez)) – but wotls doouedoo nPOMPEII/AMALFI. W set th . 4 7am &
wmust huri zAntonio bringz æ @ 8am. Wnth 1 .. 7.30 (2 . foloed x 7. vn dfrnt tmbr) ¤ hv2
←→ owt…. (6.35pm) €0,75 (pane) + €5,55 (porchetta, limonata) + €2,87 (fruet) + €3,15 (lrstoeplst)
+€1,88 (uva bort@ ATRANI (townvlbrnth¤n SCALA)) + €9,50 (birra (4,50 4 nmdium ´),
LIMONCELLO (¤ h¤l¤tt zue shood rmmbr ths drop) (3,00), & fzi H2O 4 H @th PIAZZA vATRANI
(15/7/07. thrz rpkchr vth town (4/12/07. on the home page there’s also a photograph/lithograph (put your
cursor over it) of a street we saw in Scanno ( 7/5/05 )) x Escher (
http://www.mcescher.com/Biography/biography.htm ))) + €4,00 (4 stmps @th AMALFI P.O.) + €5,00
(dmstk W ÷d) + €2,00 (biglietti AMALFI → MAIORI) + €5,20 (~ nAMALFI) + €2,60 (÷tolini nf¤n
ppr 4 H) = €42 + €80 (B&B (15/7/07. ue kn f¤nd Hz (“HMZMelbourne”) rvue @ www.tripadvisor.com
( ndr Palazzo Coco))) = €122 [$A208]. A quiet day today after yesterday’s excursion. Did the
supermercato shopping at the beginning of the day as yesterday we were too late for porchetta and bread
when we got back from Ravello. Asked in the info office about the internet, and someone we hadnt seen
before told us there was a service at the local travel agent, but it was closed. Monday late starts are the
norm. Decided to walk to Atrani rather than catch the bus. It was relatively easy after yesterday but we
were ready to sit in a bar in the piazza and have a beer, limoncello and mineral water at a table in the
warm sun after exploring some of the labyrinthine passages and lanes of the town. Everyone in the bar
was a tourist of course. Then to Amalfi to use the internet and catch a bus back to Maiori. Interesting
things today: while exploring Atrani we sat in a small piazza in a back street and a man came along and
fed four stray cats with a tin of pet food from his supermarket bag. The cats had been waiting for him, 2
sitting on the tops of 2 cars parked in the street like look-outs, and they jumped down and started running
toward him as he appeared; the beaches are being used in all the towns as by afternoon the sun is hot –
most are sunbathing, a few hardy souls swim ; the dark grey volcanic sand is interspersed with pebbles
and gravel, so the beaches are not what I’m used to, though the water is crystal clear, clean and azure
blue and looks extremely inviting (especially after a brisk walk up and down a few hundred steps);
temporary wooden structures consisting of cubicles, shower, and eating spaces on a raised platform are
being put up swiftly in anticipation of the summer season by teams of workers; another team of 3 horses
was working in an area at the back of the beach and one was licking the concrete wall with great
concentration, presumably for salt or mineral content; people in Atrani leave full bottles of water outside
their front doors for an unknown purpose; at the internet point we were using a computer next to yet
another set of Ozzies, the second lot we came across after 3 people on the scala turned out to be two
Melburnians and 1 Albury resident on the way to Ravello with only a hazy idea of the effort involved (they
didn’t have time to look at the map John showed them, or to get one themselves from the info place); the
Italian waiter at the bar in the piazza looked like a film star (according to John); we had our first experience
of rudeness when John asked a man (who looked like a bus driver) at the bus terminus which bus went to
Maiori and he made a dismissive gesture and walked away, prepared to let us miss the bus – but it was
counteracted by another driver who stopped the right bus for us just as it was pulling out; I sent emails to
everyone today & both Joe and Kate had sent one to say that Michael was rapidly improving and will soon
be back at Viewmont; on a tiny, inaccessible beach in Minori we saw two large white geese and a number
of ducks wandering around on the sand in company with pigeons – not a seagull in sight.
30/4 /07. €4,25 ( ÷tolini (x5) ← ofs n PIAZZA PIEDIGROTTO nMERGELLINA ) +
€1,00 (¯ 4 H) + €3,60 (~ 4 e¯, serchn & n kkomdaeshn nSULMONA 4 2moroen¤t) + €0,50
(doenaeshn 4 drugrhab nGALLERIA UMBERTO) + € 4,20 (÷fé lrté & ´vLIMONCELLO nbr nkst 2th
FUNICOLARI CENTRALE (2→2 thtoilt 4 rpis – tz thpr¤s ue pae 4 nnlrjd prost8 fyor r2rst)) + €3,50 (3
sl¤szv ptzr (th♂ tr¤d 2 dubl chrj mi 4 1 sl¤s)) + €1,00 (birra (Peroni 33cl)) + €6,00 (t: vino da tavolo
(1 lt), pane, spek, provolone piquante) = €24 [$A41]. It was overcast when we set out today and rain
began to fall as we reached Mergellina and had another look at the expensive street we saw yesterday. By
the time we got the bus back around 5.15 it had rained steadily though not heavily all day, and the
temperature was quite cool. We posted five cartolini successfully at the Poste Italiano near the Mergellina
metro stop, though it took a ridiculously long time to do it. At least there was no confusing numbering
system a la supermarket deli as there was in Rome, and the queue for the posting section was short (by
contrast the queue for paying bills stretched out from the counter to the entry door – in another PI we
passed later, the queue was out the door into the street). But the system is silly – they sell you the stamps
106
and you stand at the counter to glue them to each item and hand them back to them for posting. As there
were three stamps for each cartolini it took us a while – for once the Ozzie way seems superior. We then
spent some time at an internet point checking and sending email & phoning the Salvador Hotel in Sulmona
to book a room for tomorrow night – luckily someone there spoke English, so it was relatively painless. As
we arrive at 8.15 pm, in the dark, we decided to opt for the closest, cheapest place. The man who
answered the phone said he’d come to get us at the station in his car which will be really helpful, specially
if it’s raining. Afterwards we went into a bar & had coffee and limoncello to satisfy three needs – a pee for
John, a respite from the rain, and a warm-up for me. Reinvigorated, we forged ahead looking for the same
place where we had an excellent slice of Margharita pizza yesterday. Thanks to John’s tremendously
impressive geographical memory and orienteering skills we found it, and ate three pieces (two Margharitas
and one prosciutto and lettuce) sitting on a bench inside the imposing entrance area into an elegant
palazzo which had a notice about its history – it was given to a Duke/Count who had rendered superior
service to the Queen of Naples, Constanza, in the fifteenth century. While we were munching (and John
was drinking a beer he’d haggled over – he’d paid €1 yesterday and the young man at the stall today tried
to charge him €2. He prevailed) a police car drove in and the cop smiled benignly at us. Checked out a few
streets we hadn’t walked before, admiring the fancy clothing displays (on Mondays many shops are closed
and all the museums and some churches – a response to the hectic weekends) and then decided to head
for Posillipo 56, buying bread, speck, provolone, little tomatoes and a litre of table wine on the way at a
small alimentari – our usual habit for most of the trip so far (though mostly we got porchetta as the meat
portion of the meal), suspended for Napoli because of the delicious offerings on the street stalls. We are
not losing weight despite all our walking because we are eating such big breakfasts. In Via Posillipo 56 the
senora serves up an omelette, followed by warm rolls and ham (1½ for me, 2½ for John) followed by café e
latte for him and black sweet tea for me. At home neither of us eats breakfast, so we are having an extra
meal each day. Even the steps on the Amalfi coast didn’t melt away any of my flab, thanks to Antonio’s
torte and cornetti, and I try to eat less but the simple food we see on offer here is too tasty to resist, as
well as being economico. Our Crocs (John has taken to calling them Dorks) were quite good in the rain
because any water you ship runs straight out the holes and they don’t have to be treated carefully when
you negotiate puddles. Today John had to duck into a small street off Corso Umberto I to pee behind a skip
where a woman spotted him and courteously crossed the road to avoid any embarassment. About 50
yards further on we saw a MacDonald’s outlet, so I took advantage of the basement toilet there – none too
clean. Speaking of Maccas, one of the commonly offered pizza slices here has a tomato paste base with
chips on top. No wonder so many young kids here are noticeably overweight. If you ever stay in Napoli try
the B&B Rivalta at Posillipo 56 where Signora Colucci-Feis offers a large double room overlooking the
garden, adjacent bathroom, and breakfast served in the kitchen down the hall in her very large, secure
house at no. 20 – phone 081 5756 582 (house) or 347 5904 882 (daughter’s mobile). The senora speaks
no English, but her daughter does, so unless you speak Italian, use the mobile number. The 140 bus stops
close by and takes you into the city, close to Piazza Plebiscita.
7/5/07. €234 (B&B x4 (paed x Hz crdt ÷d)) + €0,50 (÷tolini) + €8,60 (¬¬, ombrello) +
€6,00 ( j) + €10,47 (prosciutto alla brache 3,39; pane con fungi x2 1,25; pane 1,84; provolone
piccante 2,52; vino rosso da tavola 1,47) + €2,00 (pomodori) + €3,00 (LIMONCELLO & aranciata
nthbr nthmaen  (owts¤d owr dor)) = €265 [$A450]. Final walk in Scanno to the part of the town
overlooking the valley of the Sagittarius River where there are small farms. Watched from a considerable
height as 4 men took calves away from cows in one of them - a long process as neither calves nor cows
wanted to co-operate. The animals are kept in quite small fields and fed with hay. A final lim-
oncello/aranciata in the busy main bar and then met Alessandra (15/7/07. rpkchr v♀r @
http://www.scanno.org/costume_femminile_scanno.htm Skroel ↓ 2th2nd foetoe - ♀z th·nth
costume antico) who escorted us to the bus and explained to the bus driver that we wanted to get off
at the Castrovalva road junction. Before the walk we did our shopping – pens and an umbrella at the
cartolaio, meat, cheese and bread at the supermercato (which also had considerably cheaper umbrellas)
and tomatoes at the fruit and veg. shop. Walked the three kilometres to Castrovalva along 3-4
switchbacks. From the bus it looked as though we needed wings to fly up. It took 50 minutes to walk up
and the village is very pretty – there are two churches but no shops and many houses have been/are in the
process of being restored, presumably by wealthy outsiders to use as holiday houses, as the views are
stunning. Our toilet window looks out onto one side of the main valley and the face of a huge mountain.
Supplies come from Averna degli Abruzzi five kilometres away by car, which you can see below in the
valley on one side (and is also visible in Escher’s drawing in the lower right hand corner). Also visible on
the mountains are giant wind turbines and the arches of the autostrada to Roma and Napoli. There is a
square with playground equipment at the end of town dedicated to Escher who passed through in 1929. A
plaque records his visit. (5/7/07. Here’s what his official website
http://www.mcescher.com/Biography/biography.htm says: “Maurits Cornelis Escher (1898-1972) is one of
the world's most famous graphic artists. His art is enjoyed by millions of people all over the world, as can
be seen on the many web sites on the internet. He is most famous for his so-called impossible structures,
such as Ascending and Descending, Relativity, his Transformation Prints, such as Metamorphosis I,
Metamorphosis II and Metamorphosis III, Sky & Water I or Reptiles. But he also made some wonderful,
more realistic work during the time he lived and traveled in Italy. Castrovalva for example, where one
107
already can see Escher's fascination for high and low, close by and far away. The lithograph Atrani
(5/7/07. 23/4/07 ), a small town on the Amalfi Coast was made in 1931, but comes back for example,
in his masterpiece Metamorphosis I and II.” There is a walk here to Frattura along the alpine meadows.
Speaking of Frattura, Alessandra told us its total population is 22, though it swells to 500 over summer. Of
the four towns we’ve seen only Scanno and Villalago are real towns. The flowers are beautiful here too, but
I won’t be picking any as I found out from Alessandra (for whom I had picked a bunch on yesterday’s walk
– orchids, daisies and violas) that the fauna & flora are protected. Oops! Some observations after Scanno :
as the traditions and history are maintained and respected so too are the old people – there are photos in
the main bar of people from the 1920s onwards e.g. one of the town’s mothers with their children in a
group portrait. By contrast, Castrovalva is really a holiday resort. Signora Bianca Maria who owns the B&B
we are in, “Nido d’Aquila”, seems to be a permanent resident and we saw three other people who looked
like citizens, and there is a decent sized cemetery outside of town, but when there is no bar and no shops
it seems unlikely that there is a substantial resident population. Frattura had a bar at least. The signora
told us that many people from Castrovalva emigrated to Australia, her uncle among them, who settled in
Melbourne. It is hard to integrate the modern with the old without destroying the latter – cars have made
inroads into Scanno and on Saturday night there was extremely loud electronic music from the pub called
“The Holden Bar” just on the other side of the church to us, which played on and off until past midnight. I
noticed that the younger people (under 40s) were less inclined to say Buongiorno unless we said it first,
whereas the oldies were usually keen to exchange greetings. John has remarked on the lack of birdlife
compared to Lithuania and Australia – he is keen eared and eyed and has seen mainly crows, seagulls,
swallows and sparrows since we’ve been in Italia. Our accomodation in Castrovalva is comfy – a bed-sitting
room with kitchen facilities and en-suite (and bidet) with the magnificent view. We have a good heater to
keep the room warm but it seems there is no hot water! I’ll have to use the gas stove tomorrow morning to
heat a pot of water for a wash. Just discovered it is bottled gas and we don’t know how to turn it on!
14/5 /07. €100 (B&B @ FRATELLO SOLE) + €3,00 ( j) + €2,60 (biglietti x2 SPELLO →
ASSISI (“When I got to Assisi, Milan, Florence and Rome completely disappeared from my
memory and all the rest besides, so captivated was I by the gentle landscape, so
miraculously evangelical and Franciscan, by the delightful churches, by a wealth of
happy memories and by that noble breed of men, the Umbrian peasants who are richly
endowed in good looks, physical strength, a joyful disposition and gentleness. ¶ Little
had I dreamt that such a marvellous place existed. I would have stayed for the rest of
my life – if only women were accepted – at the tiny monastery of the Carceri, an hour
and fourteen minutes walk up the mountainside from Assisi. No more heavenly and
tranquillising sight exists than Umbria as seen from up there. St Francis certainly knew
how to choose the most ravishing spots in which to practice poverty: he was far from
being an ascetic …” – Simone Weil)) + €3,60 (7biglietti x4 stazione → site ) + €4,00 (birra
(33cl) + aqua frizzante @th ROCCA MAGGIORE ↑st · nASSISI (¤ must rport thoe m¤ nkl hd bn
plaen↑ orl mornn & nth → 2th ROCCA (thoe ¤ hdtaekn NAPROSIN1000 rfta brkfst) l8tr nth loer
chrch vth BASILICA DI S. FRANCISCO (dkr8d maenli x frskoez x GIOTTO) ¤ thort tz nrmrkbli
good shaep knsidrn & stil l8tr nthwae ←2 th knvnt wrwr tn ¤ told H th@ th POVERELLO woz betr
@ heln nklz thn SAN PONZIANO. But ¤l stlb taekn thNAPROSIN1000 rfta breki 2moroe)) +
€4,40 (stikn plrsta 4 Hz feet) + €11,88 (oevrpr¤st minimercato: stuff 4 t) = €130 [$A220]. Robespierre
(82 and running the business by himself) served up a magnificent breakfast – bruschetta with olive oil and
salt, bruschetta with fresh tomato sauce, two grilled salsicce each, an omelette & cheese followed by café
e latte. He waved us off with enough food in our stomachs to last till 6.30 when we had tea in the garden
of St Anthony’s Guest House, Via Galeazzo Alessi 10, 06081 Assisi PG, email: atoneassisi@tiscali.it run by
the Franciscan Sisters of the Atonement. Walked slowly to the station only to find the ticket office being
remodelled and the automatic ticket machine shut down because of consistent vandalism. So John had to
walk back to the town to get tickets in the Piazza della Pace. I nobly volunteered to sit at the station
guarding our packs. As we had just missed a train there was plenty of time till the next one. Got off at
Assisi (one station away from Spello, approximately thirteen minutes) to find there were plenty of tourists
packing the buses up to the town centre. Unlike the other towns we’ve trained it to, the distance between
the Centro Storico and the stazione is considerable here. Met the English couple (who learn the language
before they holiday) on the platform for a day excursion to Assisi who reckon the weather is taking a
cooler turn by Wednesday. Got off the bus at Porta Nuova and walked into Piazza del Commune to the
tourist office, who rang the Sisters of Atonement to tell them we were coming. Mistook the numbers along
the via and ended up at a very fancy hotel where we were redirected to the convent. It’s a good position,
quiet, with a peaceful garden and great views from both garden and the window of our room (ensuite
included). Walked to the Rocca Maggiore to get an overview of the town, but you can’t, continued on to
the magnificent Basilica of San Francesco via picturesque narrow streets and were gob-smacked by
Giotto’s frescoes, particularly in the lower basilica which is literally covered from stem to stern with vivid
frescoes. John remarked that it is Giotto’s Sistine Chapel (3/7/07. but parntli tz nPADOVA & sum rt krtks
108
klaem th@ thASSISI chiesa pkchrz rnt x ♂m, but x rtstsv ♂z skuel). It is breathtaking and needs
another visit. Eventually found an expensive mini-market (the supermercato must be in the area outside
the wall and is therefore too distant to access) and bought our provisions. John has had a miraculous
recovery and sets a cracking pace while I stagger along in his wake trying to rise above the pain in my
feet. I wonder who the saint is who looks after toes and heels – Im going to have to light a candle to
him/her pretty soon. Lots of Francescan fratelli in town – tonight they are electing the new leader of the
Order. Prices here are about 1/3 more than anywhere else we’ve been. There are hordes of tourists . The
basilica reminded me of St Peter’s in Roma in that it was not so much a church as an art gallery or
historical monument, with people milling about listening to audio-guides or being led around by tour
leaders explaining the art/history etc. Despite repeated injunctions of “Silenzio” from the PA system there
was a fair bit of noise, except in the crypt where the saint’s tomb is located, and in the room where his
relics are housed – his tunic, patched with sackcloth, a white wool undershirt, shoes (big), an ivory horn
given to him by the Sultan of Egypt, a knotted square of harsh looking twine which he wore next to his
skin, a letter to him which he’d answered on the verso, and a piece of soft leather worn over his stigmata.
However, for noise, the Pantheon in Roma wins hands down. This convent has a self-serve fridge with soft
drink, beer and wine. There was a bar at San Ponziano too. The good sisters in Roma had no such truck
with the (possible) sins of the flesh. Here is the text of the little yellow greeting card we found on the
bedside table in our room which John stuck in his journal: “Welcome. ¶We’re glad to have you as our
guest and hope you have a good night’s rest. Tomorrow, you again may roam, but while you’re
here, just feel at home! And when your journey starts anew, please take this little card with you
… to wish you Godspeed on your way, and bring you back again some day! God love you! Peace
and Good.”
21/5 /07. €6,00 (dpost 4 kamerr nSAN GIMIGNANO 4 2moroe) + €1,00 (francoballo) +
€2,00 (2 ÷fe lrtez nbr n·thuenvrsti ) + €4,00 (primo patti di giorno @ saembr) + €7,00 (lrj birra &
÷fe nowr uezual br oevr n thIL CAMPO) + €6,00 (dpost 4 ks10dn thSAN GIMIGNANO rzrvaeshn x
2 n¤ts) + €4,20 (2 ptzrsl¤sz & rkwrfrzante) + €2,00 (´v vino @ ∟v VIA DI CITTA & COSTA
LARGA ) + €2,50 (jlrti) + €7,23 (supermercato: stuf 4 t) + €130,00 (4 2 n¤ts @ Residensa d’Epoco
‹‹Allo Lizzo›› (centralissimo e panoramico) tel: 0577 281383; cell: 348 5636739;
salto.da.di@libero.it ' nkst2 th7® ← wr w k@ch th7 → SAN GIMIGNANO 2moroe @ 8.20am)
= €172 [$A292]. Slept poorly – it is quite warm, “like summer” according to the very helpful and charming
man at the Prenotazione where we booked 2 nights at San Gimignano. Strolled hither and yon, punctuating
the walking with coffee, bites to eat, glass of wine, gelati etc. to give John’s ankle plenty of rest time.
Walked past a pet shop where an extremely attractive bird with a great range of calls entertained us – it
was a glossy black Asian mynah, a relative of the Indian mynah but larger with a bright orange beak, big
claws and a spur on each foot, a yellow frill across the back of the head, irridescent greens/blues across
the shoulders and a patch of white on the wings. It actively engaged in communicating with us, giving us
the once over with an intelligent eye and “talking” to us with a varied set of melodious notes. It wasn’t for
sale and a notice on its cage warned it bit. Watched some little prep kids play calcio in the piazza in front
of the chiesa San Francesco – it makes them far more agile than Australian kids of the same age.
Wandered into the main building of the University of Siena – it celebrated its 750
th
Academic Year in 1990,
so its now into its 767
th
- Melbourne Uni take note. Watched the slick street performer in the red beret do
his tricks on passing visitors from the balcony bar on the Campo. A group of Japanese tourists were
bemused by the loud singing, clapping and shouting of a small group of Italian soccer fans who were
celebrating a win – it was a nice example of cultural difference enacted on the street. Paid up for our two
nights in the “palazzo”. The bidet here is combined with the toilet, so that a jet of water issues from the
front of the bowl by turning a handle set into the wall. You adjust the temperature as you do with the
handbasin tap by moving the handle right or left and up and down to regulate volume. Italian plumbing is
streets ahead of Australian fixtures – in fact most things here are superior in design, functionality and
quality, from light fittings to locks, window fasteners , towels, bed linen, curtains etc. In some places for
example the towels are ‘waffle’ woven cotton which looks like tea towelling but they are very absorbent
and dry much quicker than conventional towels. In the convent in Spoleto the bed sheets were heavy,
tightly woven cotton of excellent quality. Curtains are often white cotton with embroidered edges or, as in
Scanno and Spello, handmade lace. Visited the Oratorio of San Bernadino where more Sienese art was on
display – Madonnas con Bambinos must have been the most requested pictures by the organizations who
commissioned artists so that thinking up something original must have been the greatest challenge for the
artist. Some took the plunge and did breast-feeding ones. The Madonnas and bambini we’ve seen so far
have been almost always blonde or red-haired – I wonder if the effort to distance Christ from his Jewish
heritage was deliberate or just the expression of the cultural background of the artists who tried to
differentiate the holy family from the swarthier Italians they saw around them everyday. Or perhaps
blondeness/red headedness indicated nobility. Every now and then I have noticed among the Sienese
faces on the street ones that belong in those frescoes of Pinturicchio. I can well imagine that the flag
bearers and the drummers who are the opening act of the Palio, dressed in their surcoats and multi-
coloured hose and sof t shoes, dark hair done in the page-boy style, look like a Pinturicchio painting in
motion. The urbane, quietly spoken and elegant man who seemed to run the Alma Domus said that the
109
Contrada members lived for the Palio – it was more important to them than soccer and, he implied, the
church. John reckons that Leonardo and Bernini, though celebrities in their own time, are not a patch on
Pinturicchio, Perugino and Nicolo Pisano. Saw a Muslim woman resting on the Campo with her toddler – she
had hennaed hands and feet: Art of another kind. The pigeons on the Fonte Gaia have learnt to balance on
the muzzles of the carved wolves, whose mouths are the faucets for the running water, to get a drink.
Tomorrow we leave on the 8.20 bus for San Gimignano.
28/5 /07. It was a rainy day in Firenze, with a cold wind. This determined another day of
cultural activity – in the Duomo and Santa Croce, after the morning spent looking for and posting some
posters for Kate and sending off my collection of cutouts from Scanno, Spoleto, Assisi and Castrovalva. It
cost a fortune (€50 for the posters and postage combined) but at least its out of the way. After that we
went to the daily food market where we were hugely overcharged for porchetta and cheese (about €10).
Our attempt to eat economically backfired on us. The rain forced us into two different bars – one called
Gilli which claims 1733 as its birthdate, is decorated lavishly with art nouveau ceilings and has rather
supercilious waiters, but the coffee taken standing at the bar was normally priced. The other one offered
an indifferent pizza slice for €2,50. We miss those generous Napolitana ones with the slightly singed crust
and the fresh tomato for €1,50. The Duomo was disappointing after a short wait in the rain to get in, as
most of the chapels were cordoned off and too far away to see the frescoes. The really interesting bit was
the crypt, where the original church of Santa Reparata was only accessible if you paid €3 so we gave it a
miss. The Francescan church of Santa Croce was worth its €5 per person entry fee as it contains lots of
beautiful art (Giotto, Cimabue, Gaddi) and the Pazzi Chapel designed by Brunelleschi, regarded as the
most graceful and harmonious piece of early Renaissance architecture. One of the guides was a young
man who spoke four languages (Italian, English, German and French) and was knowledgeable and
enthusiastic about the history of the church and its treasures. There are innumerable tombs, mostly in the
floor under marble inlays (3/7/07. 276 according to the Florence art guide), but the more famous have
tombs around the walls – Niccolo Macchiavelli, Michelangelo, Galileo, Leonardo Bruni, Carlotta Buonoparte
and Rossini – & Dante (who is buried in Ravenna) has a cenotaph in his honour. We had seen a little chapel
named after him this morning, where it is said he first set eyes on Beatrice. Many of the treasures had
been damaged in the 1966 flood and it has taken up to 40 years to restore them. Cimabue’s Crucifix was
severely affected and much of the detail of Christ’s face is lost. On the way home we walked through the
Piazza della Signoria where a marble copy of David graces the entrance to the Palazzo Vecchio. I heard an
American woman say to her little boy: “That’s David”, to which he replied : “Why is he naked?”. She
answered : “They’re all naked here.” Welcome to nudist Firenze. Or perhaps that’s how most tourists who
come here end up – the high cost of everything reduces you to bare skin eventually. Even old San
Bernadino (who is always instantly recognizable by his cadaverous features and grim, turned-down mouth)
was stripped to his loincloth in one of the paintings in Santa Croce, and showing a pair of pecs and abs a
bodybuilder would have been proud of. Padre Pio popped up in Santa Trinita which we also saw today – our
first sighting of him in Firenze. Yesterday in our wanderings we saw a lovely piazza - Piazza della S.S.
Annunziata – flanked by two matching , graceful buildings (one of which is the Museo degli Innocenti) and
containing two matching fountains : grotesques, in which the water spouts from the mouths of a monkey-
like creature and falls into a bowl formed by a sea creature. They are light-hearted, lovely and of a size
that doesn’t overwhelm. The one in Piazza della Signoria is huge with a central figure as large as David,
surrounded by life-sized male and female forms – can’t find out what it’s about or who designed it coz we
haven’t got a decent guide book. Must get one, otherwise our barbarian status will not be officially lifted.
(3/7/07. Googled it - it’s the Fontano del Neptuno created by Bartolomeo Ammannati 1560-75. Apparently
the Florentines of the time didn’t like it and dubbed it “Il Biancone” – the Big Whitey). €1,00 (¬ x 10) +
€1,00 (2 x lrj padd ¬s 4 Hz stuf 2→ Melb) + €15,50 (4 x rz & rchueb 2 min) + €0,30 (4 Oi pkchrz
nth CHIESA SANTA TRINITA (gnord th jp zuezuel nth rshnl¤zaeshn th@ tz btr 2b chrtbl nMelb wr
ue hv rchns vnoen hooz ljtm8 & bkoz, l¤k th ··dknt 1chn, boodst & hindoo ordrz, thei hv choezn
2b bgrz & (¤ sspkt) dsp¤z ue mor fue giv thnfue doent) + €23,40 ( rz → K8 norstraelia & ¬v Hz >
owts → OZ) + €2,60 (÷fé lrté x2 @ GILLI (oepn sns 1733) nth PIAZZA REPUBBLICA) + €11,70
(mrkt 4 shopn 4 2n¤ts t (panini x 3 (1,20), porchetta (8,00 (¤ woz robd) (19/7/07. rftr rÆlv munthsv
panini con porchetta/prosciutto formaggio piquante wosht ↓ con ¾ ltrv vino rosso da tavolo ¤ woz
gtn rdep mmreov & hungr4 th krispeskin porknr¤s ¤ hv 1s/wek nMELBOURNE 4 $8 z¤ hd 2dae)),
uva (1,70), pomodori (0,80)), + €2,29 (4maggio @th mrkt) + €2,50 (taestls sl¤svptzr nth mrkt ) +
€5,60 (birra spina media, cioccolata @ ÷fé nth mrkt ) + €10,00 (ntri →2 BASILICA DI SANTA
CROCE (0 l¤k paen 2gt→2 chrchz 2 gtridov ni rmaenn rljus felnz) + €1,22 (pktv pnutz 4 H ←
thsupermercato) = €78 [$A132]
4/6/07. Had to take it slowly today – last night’s walk into the Castello area took a toll on
John’s ankle (20/7/07. H fowndowt ← Google th@ thprlbm woz ankle tendonitis (korzd x “excess
stress … on the posterior tibialis tendon”) not shnsplnts z¤ hd rportd 2 Doig) and my hips. It
was a lovely walk on the waterfront on a warm evening and on the way back we saw a terrific female
busker perform using a mouse puppet dancing to assorted music, from Italian folk to Pink Floyd – he had
110
an engaging personality and very slick dance moves. It was a far more sophisicated and clever
performance than the one we saw in Napoli where a toddler on-looker was transfixed. Checked out the
Chiesa di San Giovanni Battista in Bragora which had a beautiful baptism of Christ painted by Giambattista
Cima done 1492-4: funny how it stood out among the later 16
th
and 17
th
century baroque ones. It’s
something to do with stillness, but I can’t express it (or perhaps it’s simply a case of “de gustibus nihil
disputandem est”). Came across a Russian (?) Orthodox church decorated with many icons of great
beauty. It also has a leaning tower, caused by subsidence as it’s right on a canal. It isn’t identified on the
official tourist map. (3/7/07. Googled it – this is from the website: http://www.ortodossia.it/catt-gioe.html
“The Greek Orthodox Cathedral of Saint George in Venice, known as San Giorgio dei Greci, is the oldest and
historically the most important church of the Orthodox Diaspora. It has been for centuries one of the most
splendid Orthodox temples in the world. The Cathedral of St.George was built with the contributions of the
Greek Orthodox faithful residing in and travelling through Venice. The building permit for construction was
issued only after repeated attempts and hard struggle. In obtaining the permit, two classes of Greeks immigrants
played a key role: the Greek soldiers serving in the Venetian army and the Greek intellectuals. The building
phase began in the year 1539 and was completed in 1573 at a total cost of 15.000 gold ducats. The architects of
the church were the famous Sante Lombardo (1539-1547), Gianantonio Chiona (as of 1548 onward) and
Bernardo Ongarin (1587-1603) who also designed the inclined bell tower. Architecturally, the Cathedral is a
domed Basilica with a single inflection. From outside it resembles a Venetian Church of the Renaissance Era.
As a whole the Cathedral is simple and imposing, décorated with beautiful and harmonic architectural
elements”). There is another leaning tower here too, so Pisa better do some copywriting (3/7/07. nthppr
ystrdae th@ thtowr nPISA zstr8nn ↑). Had a rest in a little campo at the Piccolo Bar where we bought up
the entire stock of bar snacks – 2 plates (bread and butter sized) of little pieces of hard ciabatta each
topped with an anchovy – delicious. In the afternoon we stopped again in another small campo and sat at
an outside bar table with other ordinary Venetians & John’s campari spritzer only cost €1,50. Went to the
stazione to suss out connections to Innsbruck – no buses but trains throughout the day (Eurostar) so we
got our tickets for Friday. We have to change at Verona but we get to Innsbruck at about 2.30pm which will
give us time to find out if we can catch a connecting train to Seefeld. Had tea in our room – olive bread,
spek and parmigiano cheese. Had a gelati each on the way back from Castello – he chose a flavour called
CASANOVA! €2,00 (jlrti x 2 ← ystrdae evnn nth 4shr) + €2,00 (→ rgr8 puprt·7kr with rdansn stil x
th4shor (ystrdae) n·SAN MARCO) + €1,10 (1½ ltr fruetjws ← sprmr÷toe) + €2,70 (kpooch·noe &
÷fé l@é sitn↓ nbr) + €11,47 (stuf 4 t ← sprmr÷toe) + €10,30 (snak & sprtzbtr + ÷fé l@é nr smorl br
nr smorl calle x rknl) + €2,00 (francoballo x2) + €101,00 (biglietti x2 VENEZIA → INNSBRUCK paed
← Hz krdt 4 fr¤dae 8
th
) + €2,00 (jlrti x2: tznt m¤ prakts 2ko··t n6sual ktvti ksept 4 thbnftov s¤
ns (w¤ doo 'rz & wmkrz kep portraen nktvti wch vr1 pr4mz 000zv z nrl¤f ?) but ¤ must rport
th@ H @rbuetd owr prtkuelrli torid sshn nth rvoe 2th CASANOVA ¤skrem (3/7/07. bt sins ← 2Melb
¤m mp10t - +lag? punsh··t 4 2much 6 nkonvnts? wr kn ¤ getsum CASANOVA ¤skrem
nMelb?). Juern thvri proetrktd ngaej··t ¤ kood h· ppl 4 ← thstret bloe n··i lngwjz zf thei wr
nth room wthus. Vri now & thn rgondol· nth krnl 15 yrdzwae wood 4 z♂ rproesht thntrskshn x thbrj.
¤ = ¤ hrd 2 sshnzv juern thez l8 rftrnoon ntrtaen··ts.) + €1,50 (sprtzbtr @ tavolr n
CAMPIELLO BRUNO CROVATO GIA S. CANZIAN jst n·CAMPO S. MARIA NUOVO ntfr←
CAMPO S. MARIA FORMOSA nks2 wch wrstaen nCALLE PARADISO @ €56/n¤t) = €135 [$A230].
11/6 /07 (Journal ♪♫ Austria). The picture of alpine country I had carried with me since
childhood had been formed by a single train journey from MUNCHEN → OBERSTDORF when I was
7 or 8. It was in OBERSTDORF with a daily allowance of goats milk that I was able to recover from a
TB infection. We must also have crossed the alps on our way to the DP camp in NAPOLI from which
we migrated to Australia but perhaps it was at night as the only memory I have retained from the
journey is that when the train was stationary next to a rock wall with what I heard was a view of
ROMA in the distance I saw the first lizards I had ever seen scampering among the rocks of the wall.
They were of the green backed variety we were seeing in AMALFI and CASTROVALVA on this trip.
The picture of the Alps was kept fresh by the fact that mine, my sister Rasa’s & our mother’s stay in
OBERSTDORF was well documented by the fotographs my father took on his rare visits which are
still in the family album my mother keeps in Sydney. It was modified by the large number of fairy
stories I read by the Grimm Brothers and Hauf etc. which my imagination usually placed in this
kind of setting. It’s the reason why I had planned before leaving Europe via VIENNA that we would do
an alpine leg of the trip from INNSBRUCK to SEEFELD to MITTENWALD, FUSSEN (taking in two of
mad Ludwigs castles which arent far from here), OBERSTDORF and back to INNSBRUCK via
BREGENZ on Lake Constance near the border of Austria with Germany and Switzerland. However
today we changed our plans – we are due at SPITZ in the Wachau this side of VIENNA on the 19
th
111
and one thing we have learnt is that we like to do things slowly giving ourselves time to explore the
surroundings on foot. Ludwigs castles we can do without having seen enough impressive
architecture in Italy. I no longer have a desire to go to the top of the mountain by cable car (which I
still remember) to experience the stunning view of the township from the top (which I also remember)
as I am sure the cable car trips we did a couple of days ago are just as impressive as is the rest of
the alpine scenery and natural values. In fact this locality is probably more like the OBERSTDORF of
my childhood than OBERSTDORF now which is a major tourist resort with a population of 8000. The
cows which used to be on their way to pasture each with its individual bell of differing pitch every
morning when I was ill are now no doubt entirely missing from what was in those days no more than
a village. So with the help of advice from the owner of the gasthaus confirmed by the extremely
efficient and helpful lady at the tourist info office we have decided to change our plans and on
Wednesday will head for what we are told is a beautiful district of small villages on lakes just outside
SALZBURG called Salzkammergut. From there it will be a convenient connection back to
SALZBURG and onto MELK on the Donau by train and onto SPITZ about 30kz further by bus, train
or boat. Another walking day, this time in the opposite direction, towards Bodenalm (in the Scharnitz
direction) and then returning through Triendisage and Wildmoos, through the conifers and fields so typical
of this area. Stopped at Bodenalm in the low-key restaurant where a friendly dog did the meeting and
greeting and where we tried out one of the snacks – 2 frankfurters with rye bread and mustard with our
beer/coffee. There was a herd of about 30 milking cows (horns intact) feeding next to the track – each with
a bell of a different note, so that they were like a moving orchestra. Saw sizeable droppings, perhaps from
an elk, but no sighting of the animal itself, and some flowers which may be orchids. At Wildmoos the
restaurant was closed, and John gave his ankle a rest by standing in the lake – a bit useless as the water
temperature was too warm. He should have taken advantage of the setup we saw earlier in the day – a
trough and a square wooden pool filled with cold running water in which (the directions pinned on a
nearby tree said) you put your elbows and wrists in for 10-15 seconds, and then your ankles for 10-15
seconds, but not together. At first it seemed to be some health crank setup, but then John realized it’s
probably for cross-country walkers/skiers whose wrists, elbows and ankles would start to ache with the
repetitive movement of sticks and feet. (3/7/07. The directions on the tree mentioned the name of the
originator of this method, but I didn’t write down his name. However, according to Google “ In the early
nineteenth century, Sebastien Kneipp, a Bavarian priest and proponent of water healing, began treating his parishioners with cold
water applications after he himself was cured of tuberculosis through the same methods. Kneipp wrote extensively on the subject, and
opened a series of hydrotherapy clinics known as the Kneipp clinics, which are still in operation today. Around the same time in
Austria, Vincenz Priessnitz was treating patients with baths, packs, and showers of cold spring water. Priessnitz also opened a spa
that treated over 1,500 patients in its first year of operation, and became a model for physicians and other specialists to learn the
techniques of hydrotherapy.”) Met an English couple who’ve been coming here for 4 years and who
recommended Mittenwald as a beautiful village, but now we have made other plans. On the way back into
Seefeld I saw three people also returning, done up in their walking gear (Paddi Pallin type trousers and
shirts, hiking boots and walking sticks (the high tech telescopic kind, not the wooden ones (18/7/07.
However John found an abandoned one and once I started using it I found I couldn’t do without it.)) and
thought that we’d probably walked further than they had. Most people here have the gear, but we don’t
see that many on the trails we’ve been on. Even young, fit people stride along in town using their sticks –
the power of advertising. It makes me feel appreciative of Italians who don’t seem to worry too much
about being healthy (although we did see joggers in Venice) though they too love a uniform (plenty of
lycra bike outfits and soccer gear in Italia). In the evening as we came back from the internet point we
heard a brass band – the local outfit put on a concert in the small park in the bandstand, dressed in their
Tyrolean frockcoats, breeches and feathered hats, and they were pretty good. €2,50 (soedrH2O mit
CAMPARI nthevnn ← ystrdae) + €7,70 (÷fé & EIDELWEISS 0,51, frankfurter mit brot (wurstel
con pane) @ BODENALM (1048m)) + €0,40 (÷dv SEEFELD) + €8,96 (sueprmkt stuf 4 t) + €2,00 (~
· (demnz ↓d magp¤z (15/7/07. ystrdae me&Joe th··↓ th··))) + €4,80 (WEISSBIER (0,51) +
kupvt) = €26 [$A44].
18/6 /07. 2moroe w →4 SPITZ nthWachau & VIENNA – thlrst lgov thtrip. My thoughts
havbn turning increasingly towards Melbourne. Joe and Kate have taekn rsponsblti 4 Michael but
have Ben & Dan been looking rfta the µ in Ivanhoe? (17/7/07. theihd.) Since the Venice Biennale
(4/7/07. Journal ♪♫ Italy 7/6/07) I have once more (how many years have I been doing it?) been
asking myself why am I writing wn wot ¤ hv2 4 ¤v 4d long ago. Among the exhibitors in Venice ¤
rkgn¤zd kindrd spirits. LfOrVaEnCkE sez tz rk¤ndv promiscuity – wr prostitutes ♂ reknz. But wot ¤
doo zfre & thrr noe blgaeshnz. ¤ hv rkler aem & rjob rhedvmi – 2 pootowt rkomplaeshnov th
mundaez ← thtrip ♪♫ nth nthljiov m¤ klktd wrks + vth mundaez ← this trip. Moestv thwerk zHz w¤l
¤ doo thdtn & sum ntrpolaeshnz but tzwot thtalian masters vth renaissance dd whose students did
moestvth hrd ya÷. ¤ get2 put m¤ naem nth finsht produkt & thkrdits. Tht¤tl vth komplaeshn wil
nachrli b MONDAY & ¤m hoepn tknb fnsht b4 thrr¤vlov Katie & Joez baebi wchwl knfr senior status
112
on us by making us gr&pairnts. Thprdukshn ov r lnth komplaeshn prznts mi wth problmz ¤ hvnt
faest b4 & prior2 thtrip ¤ got ks¤td O thposbltez vth ~ now th@ ¤ ÷nt pootowt multpl kopez 4
dstrbueshn z¤ hddun nthprst. ¤m @rktd2 th¤dir th@ rz kood taek thps off th~, ntrpol8 thr own ko
··ts (prhaps nuthr langwjz – italian, lithuanian? (15/7/07. NB Albina) etc) & ← thdultr8d kopi 2th
saemor uthr s¤tz soeth@ thorjnl ko··ts maed x mi & H rpoosht frthr & frthr ←→ prov¤dn rbaes
(or klae) 4 uthrz 2werk wth. Perhaps these fanciful musings come from the fact I don’t understand
how the internet works and th@ ¤m @raktd x noeshnzov kriptk & majkl ' vth k¤nd th@ woz
popuelr nmdieval z. Borges is correct nth sjschn th@tz conceivable th@ you could ' r ¶ wch kood
mean all things to all rs & I am certain that ' kan b majkl (E=MC² pruevzt) but 4 mi such aemz rmor
s@isfyingli achieved ( n z¤ hvth habt) x voluminous obscurantiszms. On a ~s¤t m¤ †rfrnsz koodb
ternd → h¤prlnks & oprtuentez 4 frthr k··ts x uthrz & thrz a pleasure in not knowing where the O
thing m¤t b →n. Nth men should th~ ¤dr b fansfl nonsns ¤ knpootowt thMONDAY komplaeshn
nr CD 2h&owt 2kloes frndz. Torl semz kw¤t ks¤tn & ¤m itchn 2get stuk →2 thtrsk. Did an excursion
today to St Wolfgang (4/7/07. foto nkuvrv 2006 dshnv Austria . DK Eyewitness Travel Guides)
via Strobl to see the other two villages on the Wolfgang See. Took the bus (on time) to Strobl and walked to
St Wolfgang. At Strobl, which has a very attractive foreshore, John spotted swan feathers and collected
about 6, giving some to a woman who asked for one (she was quite excited – I have a feeling that the
people here are a bit reserved and that feather gathering in a public place which involves clambering over
the retaining wall is not usual), and keeping one for each of us which we’ll give to our hostess (4/7/07. sns
thn ¤v d th@ ·flue hzbn dskuvrd n° swonz nn·b¤ BAVARIA). Then walked around the Panorama
Weg – a boardwalk around a rocky headland of the Bürglstein – and on to St Wolfgang, the biggest and
most touristy of the towns, where St Wolfgang built his church. (5/7/07. Following is some detailed
information about St Wolfgang, from http://www.saintpatrickdc.org/ss/1031.htm: “Wolfgang of Ratisbon,
OSB B (RM)(also known as Wolfgang of Regensburg). Born in Swabia (Germany) c. 925; died at
Puppingen near Linz (Austria) in 994; canonized 1052 by Pope Leo IX. As a little boy, Wolfgang was taught
by a friendly priest. Thereafter, he was sent to the abbey of Reichenau on Lake Constanz to continue his
schooling. There he became the best friend of a young nobleman named Henry whose elder brother Poppo
was bishop of Würzburg. The bishop set up a great school there, employing a brilliant Italian named
Stefano of Novara to teach in it, and Henry persuaded Wolfgang to journey with him to study at the
Italian's feet. Wolfgang was incomparably the better pupil, though both young men were devout. After
finishing his formal studies, Wolfgang taught at the school. When, in 956, Henry was made archbishop of
Trier (Trèves), he asked Wolfgang to go there with him to teach in the cathedral school. In Trier, Wolfgang
met the reforming monk, Saint Rambold, and Wolfgang joined Henry in his efforts to strengthen the faith
of the see. Henry died in the year 964. Wolfgang had stayed by his side faithfully, but now left Trier to
become a Benedictine monk at Einsiedeln. The abbot, an English Benedictine named George, soon saw
that he had with him a teacher of genius, and he put Wolfgang in charge of the abbey school. It became
the best in the land. In 971, Wolfgang was ordained to the priesthood by Saint Ulric, after which he
engaged in a short and discouraging mission in Pannonia (Hungary). But the Emperor Otto II recognized
his worth, and, upon the recommendation of Saint Rambold, named Wolfgang to fill the vacant see of
Regensburg. Although Wolfgang would have preferred to retire to his monastery, he was taken to the
emperor at Frankfurt and invested in the temporalities. On Christmas Day 972 he was consecrated bishop
of the city over which he presided until his death. He at once initiated a reform of the clergy and the
monasteries in his diocese, including two disorderly convents. He encouraged the canons to return to a
regular life. One of the sources of revenue for the see was the abbey of Saint Emmeram at Regensburg,
which the bishops held in commendam, with the usual bad results. Wolfgang restored ts autonomy and
made Rambold its abbot. Saint Wolfgang earned the love of his people. He continued to preach widely and
vigorously. Known for his generosity to the poor, he became known as "Eleemosynarius Major" (the "Great
Almoner"). He never abandoned his monastic habits. On one occasion he attempted to leave his see in
order to seek a life as a hermit but was compelled to return by popular demand. He ceded part of his see
in Bohemia to set up a new diocese--Prague. He also earned the respect of the imperial court. He
accompanied the emperor on a trip to France. He was for a time tutor to the future emperor, Saint Henry
II of Bavaria. Wolfgang became ill while travelling down the Danube into Lower Austria and died at a little
place called Puppingen, not far from Linz (Attwater, Bentley, Delaney, Encyclopedia, Walsh, White). In art
Saint Wolfgang is portrayed as a bishop with a hatchet and model cathedral. Sometimes he is shown (1)
with the little emperor (Henry II) near him with words 'post sex' over him; (2) with the devil who holds
the book while Wolfgang reads the Gospel; (3) building the church of Saint Wolfgang, Regensburg; (4)
giving alms; (5) tormented by devils; or (6) striking a fountain from the ground with his crosier (Roeder,
White); or (7) praying for a miracle (by Michael Pacher. Patron of carpenters, shepherds, woodsmen.
Invoked against gout, hemorrhage, lameness, stomach troubles, and wolves (Roeder).” Here is some
information about each town from the information booklet we picked up in Strobl: “Please allow me to
introduce our village briefly to you: St Gilgen lies on the shore of Lake Wolfgang at 550m above sea
level. It has a long history – it was mentioned for the first time in 790 – directly onf the ‘Abrani locus’ –
113
hence the second name ‘Abersee’. For a long time it was under the control of the Prince’s Archbishops
from Salzburg. Only in 1816 did Salzburg belong to Austria. Through good and bad times the people in
the area lived from cattle breeding, fishing and handicrafts. … History unfolds in front of you as you walk
through the village. Mozart’s mother… was born in the district court building. The artistic fountain by Toni
Schneider Manzell is a reminder of the small girl. Her daughter, Nannerl Mozart, was married here to
governor Sonnenburg. … The ‘Franzosenschanze’ and the gorges are reminders of the Napoleonic wars,
where the locals hid their possessions during the bad times…. A walk over the Falkenstein will take you
even further back into the past – the old pilgrims way to St Wolfgang – you will find a punishment stone
and a tiny well next to the chapel – both indications of a very early shrine. Feel the mysterious spell of
this place! … If you take the prettiest walk along the lakeside to the Fürberg bay (5/7/07. Journal ♪♫
Austria 17/6/07), think about the brave ox, with its master holding tightly to its tail, which
courageously swam across the lake, bringing them to the safety of the island – the ‘Ox’s Cross’ was built
(1567) as a ‘thank you’ for saving his life. … The ‘Wedding Cross’ (1609) on the rocky shore is in memory
of the cheerful wedding party, who went dancing on thin ice – full of high spirits. … Our church, which is
named after St. Aegidius, has a long history. St Aegidius belonged to the group of 14 emergency helpers.
He was a bishop in the French town of Saint Gilles – he is still the patron saint of St. Gilgen. Today the
interior of the church shines in its baroque-style splendour. The magnificent organ can be heard during
church services and concerts – it was erected in 1991 – the bicentennary of Mozart’s death. … During the
last century the first visitors came to our area. They were the Romanticists, the artists and poets who
discovered the real ‘romantic’ countryside of the Salzkammergut: the artists Jakob Alt, Gauermann,
Waldmüller and Ludwig Richter, the American author Longfellow and Viktor von Scheffel, who portrayed
the countryside aroung lake Wolfgang in his epic ‘Bergpsalmen’. … When Emperor Franz Josef made Bad
Ischl the centre of his summers in 1848, everyone who had rank and status within the imperial court
followed him to the Salzkammergut. Even today, both of the ships, the steamer ‘Kaiser Franz Josef’ and
the ‘Kaiserin Elisabeth’, bring visitors and people seeking relaxation across the lake. … The construction of
the local railway line in the Salzkammergut brought a tremendous boost to the area. Unfortunately, this
‘dear little’ steam railway can only now be viewed in old films – it used to run between Salzburg and Bad
Ischl. … Several famous people have lived in St. Gilgen, the author Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach, the
influential surgeon Theodor Billroth, and the family of the Nobel Prize-winner, Karl von Frisch, who carried
out his research on bees here in Brunnwinkl…. Even today St. Gilgen is a favourite place for relaxation –
particularly for famous people – including the German ex-Chancellor Helmut Kohl.… But it is not only the
culture and history that make this area interesting. Nature can be seen here at its most beautiful. St.
Gilgen has constantly remained unharmed by environmental influences, the local inhabitants making a
tremendous effort to maintain a clean and healthy environment. Several rare plants prosper in the chalk
base of the Zwölferhorn (5/7/07. Journal ♪♫ Austria 14/6/07) – snowroses, maybells, ladyslipper,
Hungarian gentia, coal roses and the alpine roses. Chamois venture as far as the slopes above the village.
The crystal clear water of the lake has trhe same quality as drinking water!.... Strobl is situated on the
eastern lakeside of the ‘Abersee’ (former name of the eastern part of the Wofgangsee). The place-name
can be derived from the iron-trader’s family ‘Strobl’. The coat-of-arms of the village reminds us of that.
The name ‘Strobl’ approximately means ‘rough man’ and was widespread in southern Germany. From the
late Middle Ages till the 17
th
century Strobl was a point of shelter for pilgrims and carriers. Strobl
benefitted from Bad Ischl being nearby where the Emperor had his summer residence. Since the turn of
the last century the village has been a well-known tourist-centre with remarkable modern facilities. Today
Strobl with its wide, flat lakeside and long natural bathing beach, is a popular and important holiday resort
offering a broad range of sports and leisure-time activities. … The resort of St. Wolfgang takes its name
from its founder – Wolfgang, bishop of Regensburg. In the year 976 Wolfgang left the turmoil of his
homeland and sought peace in the abbey of Mondsee and the inaccessible shores of the Abersee (former
name of the Wolfgangsee). He spent years as a hermit in the area of the Falkenstein and following
legends about his piety and miraculous deeds was eventually canonized and became St. Wolfgang. Soon
afterwards the pilgrimages started, reaching a peak of between 20,000 and 70,000 pilgrims per year
visiting the resort and the church. The original Romanesque church was badly damaged and the whole
village burned down during the great fire of 1429.¶ In 1430 Emperor Sigismund granted St. Wolfgang
market rights and shortly afterwards contruction of the present Gothic ‘naved’ church was begun and the
famous Michael Pacher altar was installed. The religious Reformation was to bring a decline in the number
of pilgrims – but then in the middle of the last century the number of visitors was again to rise when
emperor Franz Josef and the imperial court took up summer residence in Bad Ischl. Since that time, St.
Wolfgang has blossomed into an international holiday resort.” In St Wolfgang we noticed a Japanese group
being unusually very loud and one man, very red-faced, had to sit on the kerb – a long boozy lunch
maybe? At the ferry stop where we caught the boat back to St Gilgen a Japanese woman was stretched out
asleep on one of the benches of the adjoining park. Very unusual. We have noticed Japanese in Italy and St
Gilgen and they are invariably quiet and restrained and rather regimented. I reckon there are parallels
between them and the Austrians in that both cultures seem to value good behaviour, cleanliness, tidyness
and have respect for natural values (15/7/07. but ue woent orstrinz wairn faes mrsks gaenst jrmz).
The two parts of Austria we’ve been in have been picture-postcard perfect: no peeling paint, untidy
114
gardens, rundown houses, broken bits of machinery/equipment, broken windows, paper or plastic waste in
streets or floating on the lakes. The countryside is well groomed too – paths are maintained, dead trees
removed, no rubbish anywhere. Compare Italy and Australia, where all that stuff is visible, especially
Australia where some country areas are badly trashed (4/7/07. Tropika - 1 p 13). John and I tried to
work out why it is so, but couldn’t find a compelling reason. We thought that perhaps Australia is so big
and the population so small that the attitude has grown that when one area is ruined you just move to
another. That doesn’t explain the common sight in rural areas of farm paddocks chokka with broken down
tractors and cars, or the awful state of our rivers. Perhaps wars and invasions make you more aware of
valuing what you have. Whatever the reason, Austrians can justly boast that their country is beautiful. One
of the charms is the unmown grass in gardens, left alone to grow seedheads and flowers, as in Italy, with
perhaps just one mown path to the front door, or a gravelled one. It is such a lovely idea as in spring and
summer there are many flowers to enjoy as well as the planted ones (roses are a favourite, especially
climbers, and peonies, day lillies, snapdragons, geraniums, petunias, fuschias, hydrangea and busy-lizzie)
– clover, wild strawberries, various kinds of small bells, butter-cups, and lots I cant identify. I suppose it
wouldn’t work in Oz where summers are too hot and dry, but I bet all those people who moan about having
to mow the lawn would be fans if it could happen. Odds and ends: we reckon Oz towns/cities should
produce picture maps like the ones in Europe – artistic and easy to use; there should be a ban/big
disincentive to fish in restricted bodies of water as its terrific to see many big fish in the lakes here; bidets
should be compulsory plumbing fixtures; lederhosen look ridiculous even without bibs and braces and
would cause huge traffic jams if worn in Napoli, but quite a few men wear them here & lots of women wear
the old-fashioned long finely patterned floral dress with puff-sleeved blouse underneath and long apron – it
seems even more natural to do so here than it did for the more traditional ladies of Scanno (4/7/07.
Journal ♪♫ Italy 5/5/07); the only discernable industry in Salzkammergut is tourism, so we have
indulged in the local treats – game meat stew with bread dumpling and cranberry sauce for lunch today,
and a huge icecream creation each at Dallman’s Eisparlor this evening, as well as a beer/mineral water on
the ferry on the way back (a very smooth ride) – on the whole though the food here has been
disappointing for me as it’s light on vegetables (except sauerkraut, which I don’t like), heavy on meat
(especially pork) and quite expensive; the art here is less grandiose and authoritarian than in Italy: the
statues are of ordinary people (eg. woodcutters) and on a smaller scale – the one of Mozart playing the
violin in Mozart Platz in St Gilgen is delicate, slender and less than life-size; the religious statues of saints,
madonnas etc are chunkier and more like recognizable people – the madonnas in the shrines & capellas
are often young and smiling, in contrast to Italy where they were always serious if not outright sad; war
memorials in these villages are restrained, simple and mourn the dead rather than celebrate heroic deeds;
the cemeteries are like the towns, spotless and beautifully kept, with each grave like a garden and outsize
tombs are rare (compare Italia). €5,40 7~ts x2 ST GILGEN → STRÖBL) + €12,38 (ntrdnt¤n kwp··
t ← Schlecker nSTRÖBL) + €24,60 (lunch (gaem stue, t, & weissbier) nth Wolfgang See @ ST
WOLFGANG) + €1,00 (2 ÷dsv nz ← thwingdoltr (5/7/07. John reckons this is the most impressive
piece of art he’s seen on the trip, comparable to anything he saw in Italia) x Michael Pacher (1471-
1481) (3/7/07. Google sez: “Pacher's masterpiece, the Altarpiece of St. Wolfgang (1471-
1481), is one of the largest and most impressive carved and painted altar shrines in all
of European art. The carved, painted, and gilded centerpiece represents the Coronation
of the Virgin, and there are two sets of painted wings with scenes of the Life of Christ
and of the local, miracle-working saint, Wolfgang. The whole complex is surmounted by
an intricate wooden superstructure containing the Crucifixion. In the central shrine Christ
is enthroned, solemnly blessing his mother, whom he has crowned as Queen of Heaven.
Angels, beloved in German Gothic art, flutter about, while the life-sized figures of St.
Wolfgang and John the Evangelist bear witness. His brittle and agitated sculptural style
demanded that each element be freestanding in a space that is deeply recessed.
Pacher's sculpture thus is in stylistic harmony with the perspectival paintings on the
wings. Typical of these is the scene of Christ driving the money changers from the
Temple, in which an impossibly contorted figure of the Lord, looming in the foreground,
wields a cat-o-ninetails as he stands beside a violently receding view into a far-distant,
vaulted Gothic cloister. These compositions, in which architectural space is asserted
dramatically, anticipate those of Tintoretto. Pacher traveled in north Italy, studying in
Padua the recent frescoes by the noted master of perspective Andrea Mantegna, whose
spectacular, lowviewpoint spatial constructions were fundamental to the formation of his
own style. With an orientation toward Italy unique among Germanic artists in the late
15th century, Pacher escaped the domination of the Flemish style north of the Alps.”
(http://www.answers.com/topic/mich-ael-pacher) and the Information Booklet says: “In 1471, the Master-
Craftsman Michael Pacher from Bruneck in South Tyrol received a commission from the Abbot Benedict in
Mondsee to build a winged altar. It took him and his brother Friedrich ten long years to complete the
115
finest piece of late Gothic woodcarving in the whole world. The altar was brought here from the workshop
in South Tyrol by ox-cart and riverbarge.”)) ← thWallfahrts Kirche St. Wolfgang im
Salzkammergut) + €0,40 ( ÷dv ST WOLFGANG 2 show wrw 8 lunch) + €10,80 (~ts x2 nth
Wolfgang Amadeus feri : WOLFGANG → ST GILGEN) + €5,20 (wiessbier & mnrlH2O nth feri) +
€0,48 (weissbier 2poot →2 thfrj 4 2n¤t) + €13,00 (¤skremz x2 @ Dallmann’s Eisparlor
(n· Mozart Platz): “NUSSKNACHER Nuss und Schololadeneis mit Verschiedenen
Nüssen, Schlagobers und Karamelsauce” & “SALZKAMMERGUT – Erdbeer, Vanille und
Nusseis mit Eierlikör, Karamel und Schlagobers”) = €73 [$A124]
25/6 /07. Time & again I feel chuffd @th thought th@ whv dun r2½ munth (thundr) tripov
EUROPE carrying oenli our daypacks & shoulderbagz. Each ovus haz taken about 4kiloez onto th+
(4/7/07. ¤v gzjr8d: wn owr paks wr waed @ th+prt nWIEN nth←2Melb m¤ pak woz 6 kloez & Hz
woz 5). Hz pack became lighter when she lost her jumper but it ddnt m@r azth summr weathr set in
early. ¤ havnt lost anything and m¤ umbrella, an essential ¤tm wn uer carrying thbare minimum,
lasted thdistance. In VENEZIA w bort 2 €1 t-towels in place ov bath towelz as our B&B (VENEXIA)
ddnt supply any. Wv bort toothpaste, soap (2 wash shirt, underpants etc in washbasins in the places
which haven’t supplied it), nail > & > 4 kutn ppr (4 thjernl ntrez), packtsv b&aedz, ¤brow ¬,
sharpnr, eksrs¤z 4 'n thjrnl rfta th1st1 woz fild, panti l¤nrz, raezr blaedz & numbrla (Hz hd 2b
rplaesd nSCANNO). ¤ brort 2 pairov sox but hv oenli worn th1 pair on 2 occasionz. Nkst ¤l oenli
bring 1 pair. I hav 1pairov rgular nderpants & rpairov swimming togs which can dubl↑ az undiez. A
single pairov all purpose shorts (swim, walk down passagewae → toilt/bathroom in B&B (such az
VENEXIA & here @ HOTEL POST nWIEN), underpants, boxr) would hvbn sufficient. Panti l¤nrz ·
·t ¤ ddnt hav2 wash thndrpants oftn. M¤ moest frkwntli worn ¤tmv cloethn haz bn thshortslev
shirt which ¤ wash evry 2or3 daez & whichz about 2wearowt whr thsholdrbag strap rubs it. Larst y·
¤ worowt rshortslev shirt whr thdaepak rubd ont. ¤ think we hav lookt noe less tidy than any1ls & w
hvnt felt nconvenienced by traveling light – thoppsit infakt. If w had continued our stay in EUROPR w
wouldb az comfortable now az we wr @ th*tov thtrip. Az ¤ thp¤lzv g· ppl ÷t rO orth huej paks
yuethfl 2rsts carry ¤ keep rskn m¤slf wotthhl r thei carryn wthm. Sum ppl carry mor g· onr dae
walk than w hav brort 4 owr nt¤r stae. Because w hvnt had any seriously cold weathr ¤ havnt uezd
thlong-johns @orl & ¤v oenli uezd m¤ longslevd t-shirt on 3or4 occassions. Our only footwear has
bn thplastk CROCS wch w hv now worn continuously over bare feet sins th*ov thMelbourne summer
in November last y·. Coming h· @ r koldr vy· ¤d wear propr leathr shoez wch would ntael
sweaty feet & dirty sock washing etc. It is owr capacity 2 travel light that has maed it rel@vly easy to
travel by 7 and regional t^ and 2 make↑ owr ¤tinry on thgoe & now th@ ¤v praktist @t tw¤s
(orlsoe lrst y·nlithol&) ¤ woodnt goe on rtrip ovni jueraeshn wth mor than th4 kiloez ¤v brort on
this1. Nfact ¤ rekn ¤ kood pruen it↓ (eg. ¤ ddnt need2 bring th (4/7/07. Animals in Translation x
Temple Grandin and Catherine Johnson) wch ¤m bringn ← unrd). 2dae woz owr lrst full
dae in EUROPR & 2moroe rvoe w k@ch th+ → ORSTRAELIR. ¤l giv r full f¤nanshl rport 2moroe n
¤t nDUBAI wrw spnd O 5 howrz nth +port chaenjn ++. A final day of taking in the feel of Wien by
wandering the streets, interspersed with rest stops (a beer/apple juice in the Volksgarten, a lie-down on
the grass (where a green jacketed official went round telling people to get up, as there is a policy of not
walking or sitting on the grass), a coffee at Café Greinstiedl, a lie-down in our hotel room) culminating with
dinner in the Judenplatz (barbequed pork ribs and fat potato wedges seved on an extremely large wooden
salver) and an authentic Italian gelati from the only real Italian gelati place in Wien, Zenoni &Zenoni.
Checked the internet for messages, John emailed Joe suggesting they go to the Hawks-Pies game on July 1,
read up on the Collingwood rookies and checked out Google for the Firenze nutria. Discovered they are
COYPU (Myocaster coypus), called also NUTRIA, native to South America, but introduced to every continent
except Australia and Antarctica as a commercial fur-bearing resource. They are still valued for fur in
Eastern Europe and Central Asia, but are unpopular everywhere else as they damage the environment and
are considered a pest species. The adults weigh 5-9 kilos, are 40-60 cms long with a further 30-45cm
round tail (unlike the Musk Rat whose tail is flatter at the base). They have orange-yelloow incisors with
which they eat grasses and gnaw on rubber tyres, weatherboard, irrigation equipment and whatever else
they chance upon. The female has her nipples on her back to enable feeding while swimming. They host a
nematode parasite that can infect human skin, giving rise to “nutria itch”. They have lean, cholesterol free
meat and one US environmental agency has “Nutria Recipes” in the hope that we’ll eat them before they
eat out the environment. (3/7/07. http://www.nutria.com/site14.php) They were introduced into Italy in
1928 as a commercial venture and were first reported in the wild there in 1960. It’s good to have the
mystery solved. €7,80 (weissbier, apfelsaftgespritz nth Pavillon nth Volksgarten ( Litho Trip 2
10/8/06)) + €7,40 (korfi x2 nCafe Greinstiedl (& ov Herald International Tribune ( Litho Trip
116
2 14/8/06))) + €24,00 (owr f¤nl orstrin æ (@thpub nJudenplatz (15/7/07. “This was the centre
of the first Jewish quarter dating back to as early as 1195. Here stood the synagogue,
the cantor’s house, the Jewish hospital and it was this square which originally went by
the name of Schulhof … At first, the Jews were made welcome in Vienna. They were
under the direct protection of the reigning sovereign and played an inmportant role in
the fin-ances of the Court. However, the fact that many members of the nobility, the
Court itself, and also most of the patrician families in town, had borrowed money from
the Jews which they were no longer able to repay, was probably the basic cause of the
first pogrom in 1420. An anti-semitic wave swept Austria. The Jews were accused of
poisoning wells, causing the plague, being in league with the Hussites and anything else
that came to mind. Finally, a story spread that they had killed Christian children and had
desecrated the Host. The reigning Duke Albrecht, under pressure himself, issued a
decree that all Jews in Austria were to be arrested and their money and property
confiscated. The luckier ones were merely banished; they were put in boats and sent
floating down the Danube to Hungary, where King Sigismund granted them permission
to stay. A great number – no less than 80 cartloads in Vienna alone – were sent to the
stake and burnt. Some escaped this terrible fate by accepting baptism, others preferred
to congregate in the temple with their rabbi. As there was no way out, they begged him
to kill them, which he did, finally committing suicide himself. ¶ Albrecht then gave orders
to pull down the walls of the ghetto and gave the houses to Christians. It was not until
the reign of Frederick III in 1463, that the Jews were allowed to return. ¶ The first house
on the right, No. 2, is the oldest house in the square, known as “Zum grossen Jordan”
(Great Jordan). There is a relief on the wall, a reminder of the pogrom. It shows the
baptism of Christ in the River Jordan and a Latin inscription is witness to the antagonistic
feeling prevalent in Vienna at the time. Let me give you the full text in translation:
“Through the River Jordan the bodies are cleansed from disease and evil; thus all hidden
sinfulness takes flight. Therefore the flame rising furiously through the entire city in 1421
purged the horrible crimes of the Hebrew dogs. The world was once cleansed by the
deucalionian floods but this time punishment came by means of raging fire.” On the site
of house No. 3/4 there used to be one of the houses where Mozart lived, although his
stay there only lasted just over one year. ¶ …In the centre of the square stands a statue
of Lessing, the German writer who was the first to make a plea for tolerance with regard
to Jews in his famous play “Nathan the Wise”.” - In Search of Vienna. Walking Tours in
the City x Henriette Mandl) (nkluedn €2,40 DANKE))) + €4,40 (jlrti x2 @ Zenoni & Zenoni wr
thei 4 PREGO) + €3,70 (b·& ~· (H got nfoe nth NUTRIA wsor nFIRENZE ( Journal ♪♫ Italy
29/5/07) & ¤ chktowt thl8st nth mgp¤z nprpraeshn 4 →2 MELB)) = €47 [$A80].
24/9 /07 (River ♪♫). Epping (Rasa kam 2vzt mum b4 me&H wr owtv < (@10.00am!))
→ Balmain (2®th÷ 4thda) → Or - ( pprz @ thSydney Dance Company kafe rgan; →d
nthRocks E & chktowt rmurl Egle hd 4; →d nth Guvn··t µ grdn) → Balmain (-ptn nthGarricks
rgan & hd rkupvt wth John & Louis & 4 goodb¤2 Egle (25/10/07. → BEIJING nmnda) wn ♀ got←
← wrk) → Epping (pgdowt nr dlshz æ mum hd prpaird).
1/10/07. “Hz birthday. I always forget our wedding anniversary (2/1/65) but never the
birthday. I was hoping to find as good a spot for it as we did once before on a high point under a
single tree overlooking a beautiful valley somewhere west of Junee ( 22/9/01 – 1/10/01 pp 9,10
(no 24) (2/11/07. & Saturday 20/10/07 (no 72))). Instead we’ve found PARADISE (on the bank
of the Mann River). The days have been warm (25°- 27° Id reckon), not sufficiently hot to cover you in
a lather of sweat when you go for a stroll along the bank but enough to make you want to go for a dip
into water which is mild but cool enough to be refreshing. There are pools of every size and variety
but I like the ones where my swim in still limpid water to the side is accompanied by the music of it
gushing between rocks entering or exiting the pool. Catholics prefer the sound of massed choirs of
angels. For us privacy is essential – we always swim naked. Some christians claim however that in
their PARADISE our bodies will have been returned without their worldly guilt and shame & privacy
will cease to be an issue. At ☼set our evenings are cooled by a refreshing breeze and then the
temperature drops steeply through the night (something that could not happen in the heavenly
PARADISE where you are more likely to experience an even air-conditioned 22° for in ETERNITY
117
change is impossible by definition unless it consists of infinitely & identically repetitious cycles, which
amounts to the same thing (likewise the agony of the damned in hell must be of a continuous
excruciating intensity not allowing an instant of respite and the opportunity such might have provided
for them to escape however briefly into even the memory of it. Thus the varieties of agonies as
shown on DUOMO ( Tuesday 22/5/07) ceilings by the maestros is not conceivable as they imply
a possibility of genuine change; the notion put about by theologians that they will be tortured by
knowledge of loss is likewise surely ill considered as together with all the other products of
temporality memory cannot exist in ETERNITY.) which suits me just fine as I sleep better breathing
cold air and it feels great wrapped warm in blankets in the van with H sleeping nearby on the higher
bunk. The Kookaburras (Dacelo novaeguineae) called long before dawn & later I heard a couple of
hauntingly beautiful .♪ as of a creaky hinge or a husky flute (christians prefer the pure metallic notes
of the flutes of angels or the blare of their celebratory trumpets) belonging to the Pied Butcherbirds
(Cracticus nigrogularis) th@ visit us daily. H had to dash out into the frigid dawn for a pee with only
my jacket thrown over her before rushing back into the van to join me in my warm bed for a long
snuggle while the rising ☼ evaporated the condensation in the van and the dew on the grass outside.
In their PARADISE Italian theologians offer the devout the BLISS of gazing on the radiant visage of
the ALMIGHTY for all ETERNITY – I wish them well, they deserve it.” …Another great walk today
downstream from the bridge on the opposite bank to where we are parked to explore the extensive rocky
area we reached the other day. The river breaks up into multiple pools & streams there before resuming its
single course where it becomes more like a traditional river flowing smoothly between banks till it again
breaks up into swampy areas & channels we couldn’t see for dense vegetation. We passed the camp of the
ute driver who sprung us on private property yesterday on the opposite bank. On the way back we saw
another goanna & had a good look at a crimson honeyeater on the way out, so it was a successful walk for
John. There are heaps of tortoises in the river – John spotted one swimming underwater which dived under
a rock when it saw him on the bank. They have very keen eyesight (or hearing?). Forgot to mention
yesterday that we saw 3 blokes in a canoe set off from the bridge in the morning after parking their car on
the bank. They must have had another car waiting at their destination as we saw them return in it round
tea-time. Its certainly a gorgeous river to canoe on. Also yesterday we passed a grave marked by a cross
(it was for a dog!) on the riverbank on the way back from our final swim of the day at the beautiful pool on
the arm, which we repeated today – the 6
th
immersion for the day. It was a beaut birthday for me.
8/10/07. THE PINES → (91kz; prst r hip komun; nspktd good _EE nth Mann Rvr) →
GLEN INNES “Domestic violence is a crime – report it.” (ptrl, sprmrkt, fild wthH2O; 42
rprospktr/foskr (30/10/07. ← Nebraska); pprz ovr korfe (h··r gr8 (Gintas ( Tuesday 2/10/07
(no 68)) tak ♪) ÷→ The Sydney Morning Herald p20: ““I have carefully copied the
instructions from the back of the card attached to some CD marker pens I bought,”
writes Bill Hartley, of Carlingford, and here they are: ¶ ‘THE OIL SOON DRY, / THE
ADHERE IS STRONG / THE ANY NO SMOOTH SURFACE / CAN WRITE HAVE NO TO SHOOT /
THE KIND. / USE THE HEREAFTER. / THE ATTENTION TO COVER / TO SEAL / COMPLETELY
THE COVER.’ ¶ Bill comments: “I think I get the message that it is a permanent marker
and that I must replace the lid, but I am confused about the reference to the hereafter.
Do you think the pens may have a longer-than-lifetime warranty?” ¶ We know not, but
surely this is as close to art as mangled translation gets – a kind of extended marker-pen
haiku.”- ¤m ntth onle1 hoo ' werd, !! (16/12/08. H·· r♪ H lft nthtabl 4mi rfu daez rgo: “ fu kn
wrk ths owt & ♪ thhlth nfts ovt2. Hint: swtch furthst ÷ nd wch ^ opns^ thpump l. w
H.” re ‘Hand - pressing Flash Light’ d'd nth s¤dv thpakjz: “PRODUCT CHARCTERISTICS: 1.
This product is a new science and technology product and made with high and new
science and technology. It can illuminate only placing it in rhythm. 2. No need any
power, no environmental pollution. Low noise and health. Comparing with common
torch, it can be several times on lift. 3. Con stantly using this health torch, it can benefit
to your palm, arm and shoulder stretching and blood circulation, so as to let your hands
relax and brain clever, hand and brain coor dinate and promote your brain memory and
health composition.” & h·· rko··tn ‘general speak’ givn 2mi ys d ¤ LfOrVaEnCkE:
““That was a thoughty question,” said General Myers, in Baghdad, with a laugh, “just the
kind we like at meetings of the Joint Chiefs,” of which he’s chief. For chiefs, thought’s
definitely a dual-use term. Which is fine: nothing is but what our purposes for it are:
boots on the ground, in this case, the ground being sandy. Hard to get traction there; a
place you could really get out the ass in, if you’re not careful. Better, though, to be
118
forward-leaning than risk-averse. The latter’s what got us into this quagmire in the first
place. We need to full-scrub those old plans and then clean-sheet it. You can’t soft on
these killers; you have to hard over on them, be robust. Mark, I hope this is more than
another confab on the margins, to speak in Scooter Libby, but I doubt it. Our interest in
and objection to the language leaders speak will amount to nothing. You and I aren’t
force multipliers; we’re unpatriotic, idiotic members of elites: our lines of operation
(passim) cross on no graph with no slices of regime power; like Clinton and his
administration, we embody reflexive pullback; our guidance is all wrong, sans shock,
sans awe. We have no tradecraft or relevant HUMINT (according to Wikipedia it stands for
HUman INTelligence); even our body language, suboptimized, idles, diddles: this is a
plastic, teachable moment, and we’re not grinding away on it, war-gaming it out: we
play small ball.” – r vnrtkl ¤ Mark Scott t¤tld ’Crat Scat n Raritan Quarterly, winter,
2008))) → (51kz) → KINGS PLAINS NATIONAL PARK.
15/10 /07. “Vaidas (brother of Gintas) tells me that in soviet (1/11/07. just gotr ← lithl&
x ← ♂m: ŽINGSNIS PIRMYN, DU ŽINGSNIAI ATGAL (KRIZĖ MŪSŲ PARTIJOJE) ¶ LEIDYKLA
“MINTIS” VILNIUS 1970 (PARTIJOS ISTORIJOS INSTITUTAS prie LIETUVOS KP CK –
MARKSIZMO-LENINIZMO INSTITUTO prie TSKP CK FILIALAS) “VISŲ ŠALIŲ PROLETARAI,
VIENYKITĖS!” x V. LENINAS (1904)) times fish was only rarely for sale in the shops. People
would wait eagerly queueing to buy out the entire stock on the day it arrived. Only one species was in
supply – CARP. Well, mate, in the clear flowing waters of the upper reaches of the Namoi River on
the western slopes of Northern NSW you could catch as many one, two and three kilo CARP as you
could smoke. We were seeing them as we rock hopped from beautiful pool to more beautiful
exploring a section of the river here in Warrabah National Park. You cant swim in every great pool
you come across - there are so many youd get nowhere. Two swims are obligatory for me but as
while Im eating muesli (Kellogs Komplete) in the mornings Im needing to have two shits (@ least
100 metres away from the bank) a day instead of my normal one and since our introduction to the
bidets of Italy ( Saturday 9/6/07 (no 72)) I can no longer abide to have a dirty arse. Those bidets
were certainly habit forming and now even the thought of a dirty one is upsetting so Im committed to
keeping mine clean (KRAPŠTAU UŽPAKALI) – I write this as a warning to campers downstream
should any of you contemplate quenching your thirst on a hot day such as today at one of those little
rapids you get all along the way. It was a great walk again starting with me getting a reasonable shot
of a red-bellied black snake dozing on the bank. I managed to include my foot in the foto. We’ve been
sighting snakes every day and they have the curious effect of making it difficult for Helen to maintain
her balance on rocks – it’s the nerves I suppose. This time she thought I was getting too close and it
might strike backwards but instead it took off into the river. Later we fotoed a goat kid bleating
plaintively for the mother it had apparently lost. It came to within 10 yards as if considering whether to
adopt us as foster parents. A few hours later again on our way back it was still in the vicinity, still
crying pitifully. We suprized innumerable lizards and I can vouch that both the skink varieties and the
dragon species swim excellently underwater, in fact, as fast as fish. My biggest thrill but was a very
good close up sighting of a pair of Turquoise Parrots (Neophema pulchella) – the 1
st
time Ive seen
the species.”
22/10 /07. ¤m ' nth mornn. 2daz thlrst munda vth trip & ¤ want2 ♪↓ m¤ l8st dskuvre
– tz th@ wn w → µ 2 kntnu wrk nth vth chuzdaz b4 we kan proceed with it thez mundaz shoodb
takton2 th Monday tho r 1
st
vrzion hz lrde bn kmpletd & dstrbutd. I got very excited about that. Thrz
a perversity whch appeals. Consider this - @ thmost ¤ hv rduzn rz, probably no more than a ful
(surely ¤v got at least 1 – Vaidas recknz ¤v probably got fewer than ¤ think (1/11/07. 2da ¤
dskuvrd th@ Neil, rnabr nMiller St, nvr got thkopev Monday ¤ →2♂m x e¯ munthsgo bkozt woz →
2♂z junkf¤l !! – & ♂z progrmdt 2dlet evry 24howrz ! ¤ 1dr how··e uthrv m¤ dvotd r rz chkt thr
junkf¤lz !?)) & ¤lb making additions to r ‘publication’ (nevr gzstd morthn zn @@ch··t 2n e¯)
whichz lready OUT OF PRINT! I like that. Its like when people (but not DRUaMlMeOcND who
(1/11/07. Tlz me th@ th verzion of the kwot x Father Niemoller uzd x me n 22/9/03 (ie “When they
arrested the gypsies, I said nothing. When they arrested the homosexuals, I said
nothing. When they deported the Jews, I said nothing. But when they arrested
me, the others said nothing.”) zkchrle thvrzion th@ woz edtd 4 pplr knsumshn x thCIA. H··
119
♂z fullr ksplnashn nr e¯ ♂ →2 me rsntle: “Re: Niemollers kwot? ¶ From:
ADrummond@slv.vic.gov.au ¶ Sent: Friday, 26 October 2007 1:22:59 PM ¶ To: john zizys
(arunaszizys@hotmail.com) ¶ Controversy over origin and text ¶ In Spanish-speaking
countries the poem has been often erroneously attributed to Bertolt Brecht since the
1970s. The poem's exact origin is unclear, and at least one historian has suggested that
the poem arose after Niemöller's death.[1] This is incorrect, as the poem was published
in a 1955 book by Milton Mayer, They Thought They Were Free, based on interviews he
conducted in Germany several years earlier. The quotation was widely circulated by
social activists in the United States in the late 1960s. Recent research has traced the
sentiments expressed in the poem to speeches given by Niemöller in 1946.[2]
Nonetheless, the poem's wording remains controversial, both in terms of its provenance,
and the substance and order of the organisations that are mentioned in its many
versions. While Niemöller's published 1946 speeches mention Communists, the incurably
ill, Jews or Jehovah's Witnesses (depending on which speech), and people in occupied
countries; the 1955 text, a paraphrase by a German professor in an interview, lists:
Communists, Socialists, "the schools, the press, the Jews, and so on," and ends with "the
Church." However, as cited by Richard John Neuhaus in the November 2001 issue of
First Things, when "asked in 1971 about the correct version of the quote, Niemöller said
he was not quite sure when he had said the famous words but, if people insist upon
citing them, he preferred this version: ¶ In Germany, they came first for the
Communists, And I didn’t speak up / because I wasn’t a Communist; / And then
they came for the trade unionists, And I didn’t speak up / because I wasn’t a
trade unionist; / And then they came for the Jews, And I didn’t speak up /
because I wasn’t a Jew; / And then . . . they came for me . . . / And by that time
there was no one left to speak up." ¶ Poem (1976 version) ¶ Original (Translation)
¶ Als die Nazis die Kommunisten holten (When the Nazis came for the
communists,)/ habe ich geschwiegen (I remained silent;)/ ich war ja kein
Kommunist. (I was not a communist.)/ Als sie die Sozialdemokraten (When they
locked up the social)/ einsperrten, (democrats,)/ habe ich geschwiegen; (I remained
silent;)/ ich war ja kein Sozialdemokrat. (I was not a social democrat.)/ Als sie die
Gewerkschafter holten, (When they came for the trade unionists,)/ habe ich nicht
protestiert; (I did not speak out;)/ ich war ja kein Gewerkschafter. (I was not a trade
unionist.)/ Als sie die Juden holten, (When they came for the Jews,)/ habe ich
geschwiegen; ( I remained silent;)/ ich war ja kein Jude. (I wasn't a Jew.)/ Als sie
mich holten, (When they came for me,)/ gab es keinen mehr, der protestieren
konnte. (there was no one left to speak out.) ¶ Variations : Als sie die Kommunisten
geholt haben, habe ich geschwiegen./- denn ich war ja kein Kommunist./Als sie
die Sozialisten und Gewerkschafter geholt haben, habe ich geschwiegen./-
denn ich war ja keins von beiden./Als sie die Juden geholt haben, habe ich
geschwiegen./- denn ich war ja kein Jude./Als sie mich geholt haben, hat es
niemanden mehr gegeben, der protestieren konnte./ (First they came for the
Communists,/- but I was not a communist so I did not speak out./Then they came for the
Socialists and the Trade Unionists,/- but I was neither, so I did not speak out./Then they
came for the Jews,/ - but I was not a Jew so I did not speak out./And when they came for
me, there was no one left to speak out for me.) ¶ Variation of first stanza ¶ Ironically,
when the poem was recounted in the United States in the 1950s, the first stanza,
referring to communists, was often omitted, due to the rise of McCarthyism and the Red
Scare. ¶ Variation of second stanza ¶ Most poems omit "the sick, the so-called
incurables", (known today as the mentally ill) in Niemöller's original writings, a reference
to Action T4. "Dann hat man die Kranken, die sogenannten Unheilbaren
beseitigt." ¶ Variation of last stanza ¶ A well-known variant of this poem has the last
stanza as "then they came for the Catholics." ¶ United States Holocaust Memorial
Museum ¶ The version inscribed at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in
Washington, D.C. reads: First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out -/
because I was not a Socialist./Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not
speak out -/ because I was not a Trade Unionist./ Then they came for the Jews, and I did
120
not speak out -/ because I was not a Jew./ Then they came for me - and there was no one
left to speak for me.”) finds it easy; or LfOrVaEnCkE hooz r modernist, avant-garde type (doesnt
use punctuation) hoo onle browzz thrut; or diC&ArSeTaRO hoo duznt ndrst& rsingle sentence; or
GINTAS but of course; or ALBINA (m¤ l ajnt 4 orlv LT)), hitherto regular readers & good friends,
4 me they’ve kwit reading my outs (1/9/09. r “” ÷ thprC 2 Masquerade and other Stories x
Robert Walser zper10 : “Robert Walser was a writer whose singular, virtuoso,
absolutely essential otherness cost him the favor of the reading public of his day. For the
bourgeois tastes prevalent in Switzerland and Germany during the first third of this
century, these texts were far too eccentric, unstaid, inattentive to established literary
values and conventions. Particularly in Walser’s late work, when he was “experimenting
in the linguistic field in the hope that there existed in language an unkown vivacity which
it is a pleasure to awaken” (Meine Bemühungen,” 1928-29), many readers turned their
backs rather than enter into complicity with an author who had unhooked the safety net
of reference. Saying yes to risk, like his Chinese woman who says yes to hunger, Walser
often allowed the direction of a text to be dictated by a chance rhyme or association, a
word’s plurality of meaning, and in so doing tapped into the infinite rewards of
unsuspected truths, of the “quiddities” that “never rest, [but] ramble.””) because Ive
taken 2 'n n kod (10/4/09. ( 21/4/03 ) lrst wek Alec 4 thonli rz ¤vgot lft r th krazee so nm¤
suport ¤ “” Robert Walser: “I now address an appeal to the healthy: don’t persist in
reading nothing but healthy , acquaint yourselves also with so-called pathological ',
from which you may derive considerable edification. Healthy m should always, so to
speak, take certain risks. For what other reason, blast and confound it, is a person
healthy? Simply in order to stop living one day at the peak of one’s health? A damned
bleak fate …” ÷ The Robber) . Fair weather rz! The net effect of the dm& is to make me even
more inclined to write in code (Alec is the measure: if he says tz eze ¤ makt mor dfklt), lose any
remaining readers but gain a deep, & z¤ sa, perverse pleasure (11/11/08. “My situation is rious
&, ¤ would 4, despe e. ¤ have n deli·ely suggesting 2 these m¤nds, furnished
with “famous names”, th@ 1 can mean something even without · reknown if 1 is really
& ruthlessly 1self, but they want me 2 come famous 1
st
. Then they will include me in
their inventory & will puzzle over me.” – Gombrowicz ÷ Diary Vol. 1). Utherwise why do I
do it – why am I writing now (11/11/08. “In the end a le ar¤ses tween u & the 'ing
the same as th@ tween a dr¤ver and the which are carrying ♂m off. ¤ cannot
control the , but ¤ must take care not 2 ¬ the wagon on any of the sharp curves of
the course. Where will ¤ end up, ¤ don’t know, but ¤ must get there in 1 . Moreover
¤ must, when ¤ get the ch , recall the delicious terror of the r¤de. ¶ F¤nally: out of
the struggle tween the inner logic of the 'ing & m¤ person (4 it is not yet cl·: is the
'ing a mere pretext 4 expressing m¤self or am ¤ a pretext 4 the 'ing), out of this
wrestling is born a 3
rd
thing, something indirect, something th@ ms not 2 have n 'n
¤ me, yet it is m¤ne, something th@ is but a de4mation born in an intermediary O;
tween me and the ·. This st ge creation, this ba*d, ¤ ¯ 2 rz.” – ÷ °ry)? H @ least
haz r rezn - ¤ kep prshrn ♀r 2 kep @t – but I, the instigator of the ·ASTROPHE (author?) (22/2/09.
¤v dskuvrd r 1drfl nu (2me) ' nths topk – László Krasznahorkai - & rkomnd ♂z onli so fr
zl8d ¬2 nglsh: The Melancholy of Resistance & War & War) havnt got the faintest. I DONT
KNOW WHY I DO IT. Its not only the briefest answer but th most accu I can give. I could say (&
Ive said it to myself) th@ Im guided by an obscure instinct (there was a time when I felt as if my
was held) but its just a wordier way of saying the same thing. Do you find it more satisfying th@ way?
I can make it stil more elabor (extend? articul8?). I could say th@ in claiming to be guided by an
“obscure instinct” Im claiming no more than Socrates did when he said he was guided by his
daemon (wch th1chnz ¬ →2 rDEMON). Fact is the entire OPERA (12/11/07. Robert Walser dskr
¤bd ♂z l¤fs OPUS zno mor thn “a variously sliced up or torn-apart book of myself” (' zr
mirr – Ovidz pond?) (6/12/07. & n♂z novl The Robber ('nn m¤kroskrpt) wch ¤m n now ♂ ':
“There are, to be sure, persons who wish to extract from books guiding principles for
their lives. For this sort of most estimable individual I am therefore, to my gigantic
regret, not writing.” (21/6/08. Wednesday 16/4/08))) may be no more than a way of
121
repeating over & over I DONT KNOW (as an adults lite ure (philosophy? religion?) is no more (for
is there a better reason for saying that lite ure is an extension of a s gurgling rather than of a
frogs croaking other than the simple fact that we already know it is the which will grow up to be the
' not the frog?) thn r dvlop··t vn s brbln (17/2/08. Wednesday 5/11/03 (no 69))). So 4 th
bn ths n wil ndoff th t¤tld - Monday (2
nd
edition) (no 67a) nth lktronik verzion nowr komputr &
¤ wil evn + r papr vrzion 2 th kpe nm¤ v Monday (no 67). N2moroz n ¤l ··shn th@ ¤v
dunt so wn th Tuesday z‘publsht’ r r kn rksme 2 → n↑d8d kopeov Monday zn @@ch··t 2n e¯
(5/4/08. no1 dd ut!). In th@ way I might dskuvr I HAVE NO READERZ @orl (4/11/08. Witold
Gombrowicz ÷ Diary Vol. 1: “I am only telling Miłosz ( Wednesday 23/3/05) th@ 1
must careful th@ the life neath our ¬ not come t s4med ¬2 poli~~,
philosophy, or aesthe~~. I do not de·d ied or pure art, I clamor 4 freedom. I de·d a
“n@ural” cre@ivity, the kind th@ is the unpremedit8d realization of ·. ¶ ut ♂ 4: I am
afraid, I am afraid th@ when I move away from History (th@ is, from the truisms of our
day), I will alone. 2 which I 4: This f· is indecent & what is worse, imaginary.
Indecent ecause it is, in fact, a resignation not just from excell , ut also from 1’s
own truth, just as it is a withdrawal from proba y the only heroism th@ makes up the
pride, power, and vitality of lite ure. ♂ who f··hu· scorn & loneliness among m, let
♂m sil . This f· is also imaginary cause the popularity th@ 1 gains in the service of
the and the curr of the epoch means only large eæions & 0, a ☼utely 0 more.
Only ♂ who is capa e of st&ing apart from m & existing as a sepa e · & who only l8r
wins 2, 3, or perhaps 10 +mirers, only ♂, my brothers, has overcome the i☼ation within
the esta ished boundaries of art.”) (22/8/09. & ths ma rlv & ¤ “ ” ÷ 2dada The Herald ☼
+v¤¤ kolm: “Q. Rcntly me prnts crckd th sds cos i flunkd me skl xams. Thy startd blmn
me 4 evrythng n z i wd looz me mobl phon. I wz rofl (rolling on the floor laughing) bt thy
wrnt jkng n tht juz mde em madda n now thr banin me phon fr a hol mnth. Thy don
undastnd wot ths wd do to me. Hlp. C4N (Ciao for now). Text teen, Templestowe. ¶ A.
Guess what? I don’t understand either. In fact, I couldn’t understand a gibberish word
you texted until someone here deciphered your desperate plea for help. First, if you
texted your English exam it’s no wonder you failed. And as for not having a mobile
phone for a month, get over it. …. Use your mobile phone-free time wisely. Learn new
skills, like writing proper sentences…”). Zzzzzz wl.
24/12 /07 (X-mas 07). Mum hzme n♀r <room w¤l ♀z moovd →2 ♀r ofs wr ♀ hz r<
nkst2 th . ¤ got↑ nth mdlvthn¤t bkoz r ~ woz yapn owts¤d. (Th 1
st
~ ¤ hd nSALE (MARGIS) hdbn
lft nth yrd zr pup wth r₤2 ♪ nowr 1
st
x-mas nOZ.) Wn ¤ wnt owts¤d t®t brkn & thsmornn mum 4 thrr
2 yung ~ ~ nkstdor. Ul bplzd 2no, w, th@ MY PRICK IS BACK 2 NORMAL, wth thhuj ns¤tle swlnz
hvn dsrp·d ovrn¤t bt thPUBIK E zstl rhktk rd & ichi. ¤ m¤tb gtn snst¤zd 2 ~b¤ts rftr orl thoz ~
~ ¤ kopt nLT ( 12/6/06 ) vntho tha wr vr dfrnt sp z. W r = @ thBlansjaars @ 6pm 4 thltho vrzion v
x-mas slbrashn wch taks plas trænle nx-mas ev (KŪČIOS) flowd x n¤t mas wch Joe & Rasa rlwaz
→2. Uthr trænz w r shor 2b bzrvn 2n¤t wlb 2b e10 onle ~ nstdv met, thbrakn & shairn vth knsk d
wafr (mum jst showd me thwafrz d→ ♀r nklozd n x-mas ¯z ← LT & pol&) & th4 vth pasj ← thb¤
bl. Rasa tr¤z 2mantan z··e trænz zposbl & hz mad chvus rsponsbl 4 1 krskrngl. M¤nz 2 Elyte -
¤m givn ♀r 1v thtortz shlz w fownd nowr trp ↑N ( Sunday 30/9/07). ¤v → h· onle bkoz ¤m
konshuz tm¤t b thlrst ¤ mum or Rasa, tho thwa mumz →n ♀ m¤t rech 100. Joe & K8e r h·2
sho off Elliot (mumz 2
nd
gr8gr&ch¤l) & 2 ndulj Joez nu ntrstn jnelje. H wlb mrkn x-mas nMelb wth
Michael (µ 4 1wk ← ♂z sportd komdashn) & r vzt ← K8 & Gary. Ben & Dan hv → bush 4 rfu daz.
ThKABAILAS rorl nCanberra ths y·. Thtr¤b hzbn sk@rd x thwndzv modrnt. 4 th 2
nd
x-mas nrro ¤
hvnt d x-mas ¯z – ddnt x evn 1 x-mas prznt n¤thr! … ¤ hv mad th brf rkwantns vr srpr¤znle lrj &
aj¤l lzrd vth skink vr¤t wch livz ¬ thfrj (5/4/08. r livz ¬ owr frj nWEST MELB th@ H 2n¤t - ¤
m tr¤n 2·ch r poiznt). Mum hz rkst me 2 ·cht & jktt →2 thgrdn rvn STEPnt & terfowt th÷ks!
Rparntle tdpzts nth ÷pt. Ndls2sa tz saf wth me & ¤ wsht rlong & hlthe fuchr (4/2/08. & u2 d·
frndz & rz &r HAPPY NEW YEAR).
10/3 /08 (YORKE PENINSULA). KINGSTON S.E. (tabl nth 4shor ndr th norfolk µµ)
12.35pm. It would be easy to adopt a superior attitude when observing how the opinions of others
122
though stated with emphasis are no more than an expression of cultural inheritance, a repitition of
parental views; acquired in the same way & barely more advanced than the language of parrots. But
only a moments reflection serves to remind us th@ owr own most cherished beliefs fall under the
same rubric. So Im grateful for th@ illusory (to misuse the term in the way the buddhists do) self th@
allows me to burble on for a while as if my convictions were earnt. However as I stood in front of the
officers memorial my overwhelming sense was of being a plaything of larger forces – of unknown
gods who toy with our destinies. Without realizing it at the time I had predicted this moment precisely
with my ?? asked 8 years ago in 20/6/00: who are these men on the brass plaques? & is my fathers
name among them? & the fact is in those days I was ' with the feeling of my being held, as if the
ends were already present in the beginnings. Noting COINCIDENCES & a characteristic
disequilibrium th@ I experience @ such times have always been among the preoccupations of my
writing. Some (including Freud (5/4/08. who ridicules it)) describe it as the experience of the
uncanny. Saints thrive on it, artists gain inspi ion, & more numerously, madmen are further
destabilized by it. Shrinks eradi· it with pills. Sensible people (esp those who havent experienced)
dismiss it. I dont. I know th@ nothing is of my own. I am a product of historical ecedents over which
I had no say. I am only a mouthpiece. I am 0. These are some of the thoughts I might have had at the
time if I had had the words ….. Th@st: so n° th kwl 2 20/6/00 (no 7) wch kn rlso fowndn
Tuesday 20/6/00 (no 68).
17/3 /08. Gym Beach (3pm @ th vth YORKE PENINSULA rfta r 4½ owr & ··e
. . rlong thkost nr stnkn ☼ da – 15
th
da vth ☼wav). ADDENDUM (2 th kwl ( Wednesday
5/3/08 – Monday 10/3/08)): a very short amateurs his of the accusations th@ there were (or
still are if they are old enough) war criminals among the post 2
nd
· war litho m¤gr ¬OZ. The 1
st
accusations were already being made in a small format magazine/pamphlet ('n nlitho) which used2
rr¤v nth ¯ of some of the 1
st
m¤gr nth early 50s. Our family was 1 of the recipients of this free
mag d ÷ th DEMOC IC REPUBLIC of GERMANY (East Germany) which specialized in exhorting
us to return & contribute 2 the wonderful life in the SOCIALIST REPUBLIC of LITHUANIA TSR in the
SOVIET UNION & in accusing various members, particularly ones who were active in the OZ litho
community, of having participated in the murder of the == vLT (LIETUVA – lithuania (5/8/08. LITA n=
sh)). It was obvious to lithoz th@ the mag was a product of the NKVD/KGB & th@ the accusations
could not be taken seriously as the information accompanying them was often laughably inaccu ,
accusations were made against individuals who it was known could not possibly have taken part, &
one of the main criteria for being accused seemed to be prominence in community life. Nevertheless
it worried people as they wondered who was supplying the addresses (later it became evident that all
umbrella organizations had been infilt d by NKVD/KGB op ves (2/4/08. This is the Chinese Year of
the ) & in fact it was whispered, though nothing was known for sure (¤v n 4 x th ldrz), th@
certain individuals had participated in the murders. Long after this mag ceased arriving a new set of
accusations surfaced in the form of lists of suspects being presented to the OZ government by the
inheritors (Simon had closed the books) of the Wiesenthal organization. At least one of these lists ‘fell
off the back of a truck’ and it was clear th@ the st&rd of information was no better than in the earlier
NKVD/KGB 1z even going so far as 2 include manipulated photographs. My guess is that they were
the same lists as this took place still in the SOVIET era. By now the litho community (which comprises
only r minority fraction of migr lithoz) had a healthy dose of the siege mentality and a kneejerk
wariness of false accusation. For given the way the media works (imagine the circus!) it would have
n almost as damaging for an innocent man 2 falsely accused as for a guilty man 2 accused.
The sheer size of the lists supplied by == organizations indi·d a ~ng expedition and ··e lithoz
are nkl¤nd 2 konfl8 == wth thNKVD/KGB newa. Under thOstnsz th st policy md 2 2sa 0. But
== kpt^ wth thlsts ntl thguvrn··t rgred 2 set^ thSPECIAL INVESTIGATION UNIT (SIU) rfta
knsultn orl prtz nwch knsultaeshnz m¤ nkl Al took rsgnfk prt. ¤ w twoz th st ☼ushn zth pr¤vr
vthoz ndr nvstgaeshn woz guar eed nth ljslaeshn. $23 million (ma $100 million n2daz $$)
vtaksparz $$ l8r thSIU (led x Bob Greenwood) ddnt f¤nd nuff vdns 2 pro d wth r1 kas rgainst r litho
nam spl¤d nr == lst rne uthr. Mm rz vth LT komunt flt vndk8d; th== lsts hd lost orl krd lt; &
ozzies couldnt have cared less except th@ it cost $$$. & so thm@r woz lad2rst 4 y·· ntl rfta
thUNION rok^ & thkslntle fun° Simon Wiesenthal organization nJERUSALĖ (nstdv VIEN (29/3/08.
¤ hop¤v sk ° 2 r~ul8 th@ th v kmmr810 th°° 2 ¬+ 2 th v f¤ndn & punshn thprptr8rz)) ndr
123
thg¤dnsv Mr Zuroff *td sndn nu lsts ¬ OZ guvt klamn nu vdns hd merjd sns LT ndpndns & Bob
Greenwood rgred & woodv wd 2 chair r rknstitutd SIU. Thlrst lst su mitd z4 2 hv 120 namz wch
mz rdkulrs evn 2 me givn th ajz vth ··nvolvd x now & th sns vne krd lt vth == su mitn orgn¤
zaeshn. Ths prv¤dz u wth r vre nadq8 kgO 2 th store 20/6/00 & tz kwl – dont tak m¤ 4 4t ut,
0 vt zresrcht. Th nle krd l kuzaeshn ¤v ♀rd wthn th LT kmunt zov r ♂ hoo woz 4 2hv n 1v
thprnsplz nth murdr vmost vth == vPLUNGĖ. ♂ dsrp·d ÷ thSydney kmunt just 4 MOSSAD kam
n 4 ♂m & ♂z ♀ lft rknsdr l l8r. Th@ woz nth rle daz vth Sydney kmunt. ¤m told ♂ woz non x ♂z
rl nam wch duznt nsssrle men ♂z kr¤m woz non (or ma non nle 2 rfu). ¤ rman vth pnyn, ast
ndtald hstrkl knsdraeshnz ¤ dont wsh 2 l r8, th@ 1. thr mustv n rsgnfk nov murdrerzv ==
mung x-p@ lithoz & 2. th@ most woodnt hv n prt vth kmuntz. However th dskvreov thmajorz nam
nth RAMOVĖ mmoril hz ndrm¤nd m¤ konfdns. ¤ 4 r= ' 1s how ¤ hd 4jd rsgnchr nr stoln
doktorz srtf· 4 r♂ hoo ¤ woz told ( nt rmm r f 4 r rfta) hd n r ŽYDŠAUDYS (= shootr). Twoz
wn ¤ woz stl r studnt @ uni. Th ♂ woznt prtv th kmunt tho non 2 sum. Th= ' rkst me f¤ hd rportd
♂m 2 thortz ( nt rmm r fth SIU hd gzstd thn). ut ¤ hdnt & sns thn hv 1drd y nt. ¤ w tz pr le
koz ¤ hv lrnt th@ n·le vrthn ¤m told znt tru. ¤ wood nvr rport ne1 nth aszv ·4 (29/3/08. &
¤ dou tf mm rz vth ltho kmunt wood evrhv rportd ne1 nway nder ne Ostnsz koz vth danjr vth
setln v skorz & fals ntrnl (9/4/08. & kstrnl) kuzaeshnz frkchrn th@mts 2 4m thkmunt (2/4/08. The local
West Melbourne Catholic church, Star of the Sea, doubles as the church for the local lithos & also for
Melbourne’s underworld.)). Hrdle nethn u · ztru, frndz, &t pr le rpl¤z 2 mostv wot ¤v rportd J.
4 æ & r.! H 4 2da ma ST PATRICKS DAY (¤ ust 2 nth mrch). Th@s thda tha drnk GREEN
· - ¤d w sum kspt ¤m stl ON THE WAGON.
24/3 /08. Ovrn¤t _ (nr ® _ · 1k+S vPORT RICKABY nth YORKE PENINSULA nS.A.) ¬
(via Port Rickaby (toilet), the port for 34,000 acres of grain-growing (barley). The jetty was built in 1876.
It served the Koolywurtie area where my maternal grandmother Rebecca Olive Mason was born in 1888.
George Golland Mason (my great grandfather) went to Koolywurtie about 1888 with his wife Annie & their
first child Mary Hannah, then 2, from Stansbury & stayed at least 2 years in the area while increasing their
brood to 3 (Charles John was born there too in 1890) before returning to Stansbury for the next 3. (1/4/08.
He was an itinerant labourer, later a rousabout who became a top hand shearer (according to my late
mother’s memories of her grandmother’s account of family history) (4/7/08. New information has just
popped up from the My Heritage website where someone by the name of Babin has a family tree which
includes Annie & George. On this tree, Annie’s mother and father are Timothy Feehan and Mary Honner.
Timothy was born in Tipperary in 1834 and died in Yorketown in 1878. Mary was also born in Ireland
(26/8/08. Today I discovered on the web that Mary’s father, John at the age of 46, and her mother, also
Mary, with 5 of their other 6 children (John Honner’s second eldest son Richard and his wife Sarah stayed
behind due to illness but followed later and their grandson, Ralph Honner was a hero of the Kokoda Trail.
His biography “We Band of Brothers: a Biography of Ralph Honner, Soldier and Statesman” by Peter Brune,
Allen & Unwin 2000, supplied the information), came to South Australia on the vessel “Utopia” in 1858
from “the heartland of Southern Ireland, near where the county borders of Offaly (formerly King’s County),
Leix (formerly Queen’s County) and Tipperary meet”, following Mary & Timothy as a result of the Great
Famine of 1846/7. They settled at Bishop’s Flat in the Little Gorge – Second Valley District near Yankalilla
on a leased farm where John died in 1875 of pneumonia contracted while land-clearing.),married Timothy
in Roscrea with whom she had 10 children and died in Koolywurtie of “closing of the gullet pipe” in 1898
according to her son, John of Mount Rat, who was a farmer, butcher, photographer and hotel owner.
Another son, Timothy Francis, described as a farmer of Koolywurtie, died of kidney disease 25 years after
being born there.)) ¬ PORT VICTORIA ( a shltrd x lrj ¤l& off POINT PEARCE; @rktv 4shor) ¬
MAITLAND (drnk nth ·grdn nth pub; ntr 2rst town; orjnl prsns ÷ kmunt nPOINT PEARCE ^N
vtown) ¬ ARDROSSAN (fullv 2rsts nkontrrst 2 owr prviys sta 4 estr =rn th☼wav; +S vtown
wrw fownd n· owtvthwnd 4 2n¤t fned ; nth jt & wnw got÷ w hdr fl@ t¤r wch ¤ woz abl 2pump
^2 30psi 2get2 thgrrj wr rnal woz puldowt & thO p@cht 4 $20; nuthr ^N vowr ovrn¤t · @ TIDDY
WIDDY BEACH @ ® 4 ; wv dun rO ( Wednesday 12/3/08); now wr nmob¤l kntrkts wth
$120/munth kps Hz doon rlotv worin & kmun·n (2/4/08. ♀z @th hsptl now (♀z ÷. ♂z sl¤tle btr)) wth
Joe & K8 O Michael – K8z ¬ ♀r undl rparntle & Hz rakn^ r4rtun nW chrjz.)
21/4 /08 (° ). Wn ¤ woz n Cosmos rfta ☼+ lrst n¤t r lrj herdv skertd thfrunt vth
nth dark makn no sownd kspt thr forlz. Fnsht n th : modernst; rso @v & vzul koh·ns nstedv na
v sns; a serdst; r po wch rm¤n° me strongle vn Ingmar Bergman flm; surerlst; rt; h·z th
124
lr nth ÷ kuvr: “Cosmos, a metaphysical thriller, revolves around an absurd
investigation. It is set in provincial Poland and narrated by a seedy, pathetic, and witty
student, who is charming and appalling by turns, and whose voice is dense with the
richly palpable description that characterizes Gombrowicz’s writing. Cosmos won the
International Prize for Literature in 1967 …. Born in Poland in 1904, Witold Gombrowicz
lived, virtually unknown, in Argentina, writing novels, stories and plays for twenty-five
years before taking up residence in France. His death in 1969 was a great loss not only
for Polish literature but for the world of letters …. In him, for the first time, Polish
literature produced a writer to whom the agonies of being Polish were less important
than the tragi-comedy of being human.” Zt r COINCIDENCE th@ th ¤ just 4 levn nths
trip, Falling Star x Roberto Bolaño,··shnz Gombrowicz (11/6/08. & ♂z kntmpre Bruno
Schulz hooz Sanatorium under the Sign of the Hourglass ¤m now)? ¤v lost thtast 4
knvnshnl ' (sp. novlz) longrgo. ¤m levn4 Glendamo 45kz ^N wth NO OIL IN THE ENGINE! Nr µ
n·x Cn ¬E th s¤n 4: NOTICE ¶ COMMONWEALTH OF AUSTRALIA ¶ DEPT. OF DEFENCE SUPPORT ¶
PROHIBITED AREA ¶ THIS PLACE IS A PROHIBITED AREA AND NO PERSON SHALL ENTER BE OR REMAIN THEREIN,
WITHOUT PROPER AUTHORIZATION ¶ PENALTY $2200.00 OR IMPRISONMENT FOR 6 MONTHS OR BOTH ¶ AREA
ADMINISTRATOR WOOMERA DEFENCE SUPPORT CENTRE ¶ PH: 8674 3370. ¬ ¬ Glendambo (¬r ltrv oil ut
tz vre drt ÷ th rzdu th@ wozn thr) ¬ ¬ (252kz; O 40 y·z rgo ¤ trvld ths µ svrl z 4 twz ld)
¬ ¬ Coober Pedy ( t th 4 rchanjv njn oil & nu fltr; d O thtown w¤l w8n4 th 2 srvst; got
msj ÷ H & snt msj ¬ H; Wd K8 - ♀z f¤n ut t¤rd; kosts 4 2da: $12 oil @ Glendambo, $73
ptrl @ Coober, $88 srvs @ Coober = $173 (11/6/08. 2daz srvs nMelb & 2 nu ÷t¤rz = $375)) ¬
¬ ® 4 ovrn¤t 4kz ¬E vth ^wa rlong thµ ÷ Cadney Homestead Roadhouse ¬ Oodnadatta
(13/6/08. t ¤ woz mstakn. Twozr stashn µ just+S vth Oodnadatta ) (tz r utfl evnn; ☼+ ovr
th+ @ 6.07; ¤m ® nth g r + O 30 yrdz offthµ; rhuj red z^n uv th E hr¤zn; no1 hz ¬ prst;
2n¤t ¤ *t 2 Gombrowicz’z Pornografia).
28/4 /08. Hd ad dremz lrst n¤t trgrd x m¤ rerl¤zaeshn th@ r Ælv m ¤ woz 42
ystrda hd dsg¤zd felnzv ilwil ¬ me koz tha hd ovrh·d me rdkuln th shop n Alice dvotd nt¤rle 2
OZZIE OZZIE OZZIE rchev··ts nworz & 2 mmwrz & ¤grfez vjnrlz etc wn ¤ woz 42 th = kdz.
Rler nth da thz m hd n 2r wdn vr frnd knduktd n Simpsons Gap. 4 O OZZIE p@riotzm! ¤ 4m
th@ m¤ sstr (Egle) woz plann 2 sl ♀r 60
th
rthda @ AUŠROS VARTAI ngoodol LT (LITA n=
(11/6/08. lithuania nnglsh)). (3/6/08. Another example of patriotism?) Tha woznt mprst. ¤ nt f¤nd
werdz 2 ksprs m¤ a hor vth MUMBO JUMBO (3/6/08. HOCUS POCUS, CODS WALLOP, HUM
BUGGERY) (wth rljs ovr♪♫) & slf dspshn ( Friday 21/2/08) wch gozn n ZAC DAY. Tmenz ¤ kn
nvr ¬2 th (17/6/08. Wednesday 19/12/07) vs rz e m@ch (1/8/08. 2n¤t nth TV
¤ ¬ @th MCG (2/8/08. 2ndz r¬n th·· nth TV now ut!)) koz ¤
woodnt prpaird 2 st&^ zrskt =rn thkomm v sermne @ th*tv thgam. @ O 8.30 rfta æ ¤ lft m¤
pr¤v@ na rjnl l& (¤ hd n 4 so & kood ths¤n hd n ript+)  th rod (+S) ÷ th 2 Ellery
Creek Big Hole & ¬ ¬ th 2kz thr 2 f ·· wr kumn 2drnk 4 th2rsts *td rr¤vn koz ¤ hd
n 4 Painted Firetail (Emblema pictum) kum 2drnk thr. ut thrwr 0. Thn ¬ ¬ Serpentine Gorge
& dskuvrd wn ¤ poot^ thpoptop (2 kep th kool) th@ thklip wch hd kumoff nowr YORKE
PENINSULA trip ( Tuesday 25/3/08) woz kumn off rgan. =zus!! So ¤ ¬ ¬ 100kz ÷2 Alice 2 t
¬2 thonle n g·rpair plas (Heritage Caravans) nth town. Thrliest n ¤ kood get was 4 10am
thrzd. Th♀ n me n 4 ♀ hdhd 5 chlrn x 2♂. ♀r youngest kid z14 & thfrthr z rjnl. ♀r kid strutd ¬2
thoffs rsntle & d·° ♀ rpoloj¤z 2♂m 4 n w¤t. ♀ gotr stik & td ♂m orl thwa 2skool & tz how all
such d·dz 4 SORRY SORRY SORRY & 4 wlfair shood td ♀ 4. ¤ 4 ma sum prolbmz rnt
solv & ¤ w ♀ rgred. Niwa mostv ♀r kdz (♀♀,♂♂♂) r doon OK n zniz wchz morthn ¤ kn 4 4 m¤
n. ¤ W H, & Joe 2 rport nm¤ doonz & ¬ ¬ 2th sit 2 The Age ovr . Alice zvre dprsn ztz fulv a
orjnez n vak & wth 0 2doo. Lotsv kdz 1drn O koz skool tchrz wr nstr¤k. Thrz rvre ^ kr¤m
& ··e reys r☼ts x a orjnez r rportd nth nuzpprz. ¤ gav $5 2r bl¤nd buskr hoo ♪♫♪ kslntle but
woznt getn tips - ♂ woz na orjne. Th ($3.00) woz good & wn ¤ gav The Age ($2.50) 2th ownr ♂
gav me nuthr 4 0. Thn ¤ ¬ ¬ owtv th@ hor plas, wr th kontrrst twn thhvz & thhvnts zso x
125
m, 100kz ÷2 h· @ Serpentine Gorge wr n zs ktli VERBOTEN & evn th a orjnez voidt koz
thsz wr thj¤ SPIRIT SERPENT livz. So ¤m h· x m¤slf & tz good. Tz koolr 2da & 2moro (O 25°c)
so 2moro shood rgood da 4r , ma evn 2th f vth rij rlong th Larapinta Trail (W÷) 4r vu vth
sOn cun . 7.45pm & 4 r itv Gombrowicz’z Pornografia.
5/5/08. @ Serpentine Chalet Ruins ¬ ¬ (Ochre Pits: the Arrernte m uzdt 4
prktkle vrthn ut spshle 4 mdkashnz ( utt onle werkt wth rpropri8 nkntashnz) & dkrashn) ¬ ¬
Ormiston Gorge (¤m nth ; lft 2doo thst&rd 2rst (: Pound Walk 3-4 hour loop,
Waterhole Walk 5 mins one way, Ghost Gum Walk 1.5 hour loop) + vairys s¤d ps @
10.00 & ÷ @ 4.00. Evn th2rst r vreworth doon – thsz r prtkulrle snk . D¤vrzionz ÷th norm hv
thr rwrdz ut: @ r drt pool nr lup vth Ormiston Creek (wch 10kz frthr kumz sntrl OZz man rivr –
th FINKE) ¤ ntrrptd 2 DINGO ~~ drnkn & tha woz grashs nuff 2 wthdror O 100yrdz 2 letme prs b4
rtrnn 2th H2O O; @ nuthr H2O O ¤ ♂ Orange Chat (Ephthianura aurifrons) wchz 1v thmost rli
vorl dzrt ··; ¤ woz flushn ··e lrj floksv Crested Pigeon (Geophaps lophotes) & Painted
Firetail (Emblema pictum) wr numrus; ¤v kspr··td wthr nu wa vkepn kool – gon ¬ H2O wth orl m
¤ klothzn nkludn me h@ l¤k ¤v muzlm ♀♀ doo nAltona & hndu ♀♀ nWoolgoolga, & tworks!
Onle prolbm m¤ shorts kep slpn+ wth thxtr w8v thH2O & koz ¤m loozn w8 so ¤v *td wairn r t;
¤ took 2··e fotoz ut rfu vth K fams Ghost Gum (Corymbia aperrerinja (13/6/08. twoz nkrktle
namd nth nfo ord: tz Eucalyptus papuana)) wl pr le OK; wn ¤ got÷ ¤ hd r f¤nl . nth
man pool nth gorj n· th nm¤ ¬pnts (tz how ¤ woshm) zper uzul; =n, =l¤, & orgust rth st
munths h·: mornn··+ frezn & thdaz r 20+°c, ¤dl 4 n; thrz n 9.3mm v^ sofr n2008 & tho
normle thrr ··e H2O OO nths  evn th g1z rdr¤n owt.)
12/5 /08. Trephina Gorge (East Macdonnell Range O 80kz ¬E v Alice Springs). Lft
2 thRidgetop µ @ 9.00 & woz ÷@ 3.30. Th zdskr¤ d z 8 owrz nkludn th÷ ¤ rod ÷ John
Hayes Rockhole t kood dun ezle n 5. Met auGrAeSlTie nth wa 2 th Turners Lookout & w t 2gthr
ch@10. ¤ er d, ♀ 4 ltl. Wwr thonle 1z nth 2da & w s¤nd thlog @th f. L8r w chuthr noprzt
s¤dz vr gorj nth Chain of Ponds  & took fotoz vchuthr wch wl ¬ ¤ e¯ (11/6/08. ¤ dd, ♀
ddnt). Th1 ¤ took kamowt OK t ¤ hvnt th1 ♀ took. W t ÷ nth f¤nl rod skshn 2gthr & ¤v orlso
promst 2 ¬ Monday (11/6/08. dunt) & Tuesday wn ¤ ÷µ @th ndvth munth. ♀z ÷ Lyons, f ce,
studn rts 4 thy·@ Melb. Uni (2 mpruv ♀r nglsh nth xo nv¤rn··t vOZ rthr thn nngl& rUS) t
n10dz 2doo sumptn mor vo·ionl, l¤k rktkchr, nth fuchr. ♀ lft zsunz w÷ & 2Melb 2moro.
ThChain of Ponds skshn vth zx mle nk t onle 1 rmann O hd H2O wchwoz @rk10 00zv
Painted tail (Emblema pictum) fnchz. ÷@th ¤v fotod r Grey Shrike-thrush (Colluricincla
harmonica) stln 2min noodlz ÷ m¤ . ThRed-tailed Black Cockatoo (Calyptorhynchus banksii) r
prznt O th nth evnnz. Hooded Robin (Melanodryas cucullata) rth most ko·· ro nz nth
t ¤v n Red-capped Robin (Petroica goodenovii) 2. Twoz rkold mornn 2da & th·z+n frst: ¤m
pootnn sum wrmr klothz & r vmilo (5.50) …. ¤m ÷ ÷ m¤ n¤tle ¬ thpool. Tzr k¤ndv prair. @
Ormiston Gorge & @ Simpsons Gap ¤ Black- d Rock Wallabies; h·¤m hopn 2 DINGO
~~. Nth gorj tz stil & staz wormr & thrz rhush & rk¤ndv przns, zf SPIRIT s** r n …. Oyair,
Aurelie hz rs ong nt & ¤m ntr good ·r t ¤ w ♀ 4 ♀ pad $40 ¬÷ 4 1v thoz prmoshnl ts
¤ Tiger Airlines dvrt¤zd nth~ & rr¤vd thda 4 ystrd wth ltl A. @ th akpakrz n ¤rsh ♀/♂
gav ♀r th r 2uz 4 0. Tha hd rntdt 4 thmnmum 5 daz & hd2 lev Alice wth 2daz rntl nuzd. Normle
rntl zO $70/da. Wn yr yung & frnch & both yr pairnts r 6sfl loiyrz l¤f ts u wl. ¤ dont w much ^ hz
+n ¬2 yr l¤f yt, Aurelie. Praps tz w¤ u 4 yr noptmst.
19/5 /08. Kings Canyon RESORT. Nth Watarrka National Park 475 kz ¤ ld
rod SWv Alice @ $13.50/da, p l 190c/l . =rn thn¤t thDINGO ~~ td th 2r ☼i tantrl¤
zn sampl vthr op  skl zr masst q¤r t twoz nuff 2hvme nthrorl. Nth mornn @ æ rderlkt ndv=l
limt ovr & nspktd th …. Tz n rhuj da. Gintas, hooz n non 2gv rwa $50. nth s t, wood ndrst&
how ls ttz 2 ¤ 2 dskr¤b th^ ¤ wozn. Nth midl vthda ¤ hd2 rm¤nd m¤slf 2 et m¤ æ vtind
kiprz. ¤ ¤ 2 sns nthoz stuashnz. Wn thrdrnln hz takn ovr u fel no ftg r pan & tz eze 2damj
126
r pul rmussl. ¤ mad r v hvn rdrnk & e10 m¤ 2 o jz tho ¤ ddnt fel thrst. ¤ spnt thnt¤r da
xplorn th tas labrnth vth rok domz (7/6/08. s¤n:
PARKS AND WILDLIFE SERVICE NORTHERN TERRITORY. ¶ Rock Domes and Kuninga Men ¶ How
the domes formed ¶ These bee-hive like domes make the plateau look like a ‘lost city’. They
are the result of erosion of vertical cracks in the sandstone. ¶ Aerial photos of the plateau show
a grid-like pattern of parallel cracks. One set runs nearly east-west and the other runs
approximately north-south ¶ 1. The domes on the top of the range started as cube-shaped
blocks bounded by intersecting cracks 2. Wind and rain have gradually worn away the sides
and top corners in the last 20 million years 3. The blocks have become domes separated by flat
rock. ¶ The Luritja story ¶ To the Luritja people of the Watarrka area, the domes are young
kuninga men who travelled through here during the Tjukurpa (or Dreamtime) ¶ Kuninga is the
Luritja name for the Western Quoll (Dasyurus geoffroii). These Australian marsupials are
sometimes called ‘native cats’. ‘All that’s native cats, sitting there. They were there before.
They’re still there. That one is really important. That dreaming is still there.’ Clive Impu,
tradional custodian of this land. ¶ WATARRKA NATIONAL PARK.
) 2th ^N & W÷ vth knyn rim . Tz rgood niwa dsp¤t thkonst s m v2rsts t 100yrdz awa ÷
t & yr ¤ yrslf nr mazv mjkl skulptd rok, ur & krvas. ¤ koodnt ® takn fotoz. ¤ 1td 2 nvre
drkshn @ 1s. @th ndv thda ¤m ngood shap & wil a 2 kntnu wth thxplo ion 2moro. Nth wa÷
uzn thkanyn ¤ took r. nth tas pool thr 2 ndoff thda. Got2 thshop 4 klozn n 2 ¤ rW d
2 W H nMelb. Th g nuz zth@ Elliot kn sit^: ♂ woznt evn krorln wn ¤ lft onle 1munthrgo. Uthr m ¤
42 wr Jochen & Alexandra (jamanalex@web.de) @th pool 2 hoom ¤ promst 2 e¯ Monday
(7/6/08. lrde sntt) & Tuesday . Tha ' rjrnl & wan2 doo sum k¤ndv joint projkt. ♂z rgrafk rtst. Nxt 2
me thrr 2 vre prsn ♀♀ ÷ f ce 4 th 2
nd
n¤t nr ro t ¤ ddnt ofr 2 thr 2rg¤d thru thdomz wch ¤
woz 4n thm O z¤ no thrz no xplrnashn wch wood sownd knvnsn 2 H (11/6/08. But there would have
been safety in numbers). ¤v rlso ntrvnd nr hori doms twn r♀ & ♀r prtnrz 14y·old ☼ ( ¤ rnuthr
♀) hoo hd hit 1v ♀r own 2 ltl kdz. 2 rush tth & ¬2 <. Wn ¤ woz hvn æ @th ☼+ pknk  n·th
kanyn ® (10kz ÷ thrzort) ¤ woz 42 2kdz (jr·♂, & orstrin ♂) hoo wr hopn 2 getrwa wthowt pan
¤ spndn thn¤t thr. Tha md r it dprst; praps tha wr ¬A.
26/5 /08. Ovrn¤t · offth rjnl (ovrgron) Stuart ^wa (=rn æ h·r ¬ ¤ ¬E vme. Chkn
thmap knfermz ¤m t nPITJANTJATJARA ter wthowt rprmt. Twoz r ifk ·: tern ¬E off th^wa
@th M68/K110 mrkr.) ¬ ¬ Marla (p l: 31 l z @ 179c/l ie $54.47 4 259kz = 12 l z/100kz)
¬ ¬ Coober Pedy (p l: 29 l z @ 164c/l ie $47.82 4 238kz = 12.2 l z/100kz; sprmrkt: 1
tomrto, 1 kukmbr, ys daz nuzppr; ; W msj ÷&¬ H; thrz r ser n 1 h·( Wednesday 31/8/05))
¬ ¬ Glendambo (p l: 32 l z @ 170c/l ie $54.44 4 258kz = 12½ l z/100kz - ¤ woz h·
21/4/08 , ¤m ) ¬ ¬ ovrn¤t · 48kz +S (Galahz (Cacatua roseicapilla) & ordnre ¤tlin aka
Feral Pigeon (Columba livia) r n+ @me ¬ towr ( Sunday 20/4/08); ¤v takn rfoto 2pruv th; ☼
+ @ 5.30).
8/9/08 (dr¤ cunt ). Ovrn¤t wr Dust Hole Creek †† thHeysen Trail (wv ds¤° 2
C ^N 2 skap thkold) ¬ ¬ (v¤r Mt Bryant, Hallet, Jamestown (bort The Advertiser & The
Australian & ¯ ¬ K8), Caltowie) ¬ ¬ Stone Hut (where “the best pies in the universe”
according to the fridge magnet, are now produced in a snazzy refurbished old blacksmith’s establishment,
one of which (steak (chunks of real beef) & mushroom (slices of real mushroom) in a delicious flaky pastry)
I demolished as my early birthday treat. John had planned to be here on my actual birthday, October 1,
but the cold weather is driving us north. These pies are the re-located Wirrabara gems ( 9/4/01 ) and they
are still the benchmark of all other pies in Vic, SA, NSW & Queensland (I havent been to WA, NT or Tassie
so cant say all of Australia). The only other item of comparable excellence is the Copley pastie and for all I
know that may be history by now, as I last sampled it about 30 years ago. The 2 coffees & 2 pies cost
$22.40 (the most expensive pies in the universe?) but it was well worth it (28/10/08. stl chep 4 rda æ
t, evn @ du th$$ - Wednesday 1/10/08). The surroundings are mock pioneer – big pine tables
that seat 6 comfortably, with the sugar sticks in old enamel pie dishes, and walls of corrugated iron, on a
wide verandah chill-proofed with clear plastic blinds so you can see the garden & beyond to green hills. It’s
a thriving business & has its own website: www.oldbakerystonehut.com.au . In April they had a “Wild Boar
Weekend” where the Sunday menu was: Pig on a Spit, Saltbush Lamb, Kangaroo, Camel & Venison Pies;
Chunky Beef & Chicken Pies; Salads; Breads; Quandong Tart; Regional Wines & Thoroughgood’s Apple
Wines of Burra (Gold Dust, Old Sleepy, Misty Morning, Summer Lightning & Sweet Panic ) & Scrumpy Cider
127
– names like that make you want to jump off the wagon (wch ¤m stlon, n dntli)). Because I said it was
my birthday treat the woman behind the counter gave me their fridge magnet free, so we saved $1. We’ll
be back hopefully on our way home.) ¬ ¬ (v¤r Wirrabara, White Park Road) ¬ ¬ Port
Germein (W Joe nHz ·2 4O th t – zwwr 4 Joe 0d n nGoogle K n·wrwwr ®d nx2 thold
shd @ thCv thp·; ♂z skord rjo f¤ndn µµ 4 porm; K8e prst ♀r thesz wth rds10kshn; Elliotz ku
··frst n♂z ; ¤v chkt thoil lvl & tz + b¤ ⅓; wr O2 ¬÷ th “longest p·nth +Sthrn ½ K”;
xpr··td wth nu n ·· & =lzrd; nr dfr · zthrz sum1 nowr uzul1 – wr n· th♂grovspt ^N
wth rvu ÷ +S vth p·; rechrjd m¤ · & gotthru2 K8 2 thank ♀r 4

thfrthrzda msj - ♀z fnsht ♀r spO pl
10 &z f¤n; rezu·· 2 Gombrowiczz Ferdydurke ….so ¤ qot: “I envied those literary
men, ex☼ted and predestined to higher things from the cradle, whose Soul – its backside
prodded with an awl – strove continually upwards; those '' who in their Soul took
themselves riously , and who, with inborn ease and in gr8 cre8ive torment, dealt with
m@ters so high and mighty and 4ever hallowed that God ♂mself would have med to
them commonplace and less than no . Why isnt every1 called to ' yet another about
w or to tear apart, in pain and suffering, some social ill or other, and become the
champion of the oppressed? Or to ' poems and become the Poet who believes in the
“glorious future of poe ”? (Ths woz ' n1937!) To be talented, and with 1’s spirit to lift
and nourish the wide masses of untalented spirits? Yet what pleasure is there in
agonizing and tormenting 1self, in ing on the altar of self-sacrifice, be in the realm of
the high and sublime and – the mature? To live vicariously through 1000-year-old cultural
institutions as securely as if 1 were setting aside a little sum in a savings account – this
could be 1’s own, as well as other m’s, fulfillment. But I was, alas, a =venile, and =
venility was my only cultural institution.”) (31/10/08. got ♂z Diary Vol 1 & 2 2da ÷ Amazon
& kopths: “2 maintain 1’s own human scale in the © of all garg uan pheno··a. Not 2
anything more in culture than a simple cunt bumpkin, just a Lithuanian, & not even
a cunt bumpkin or Lithuanian 2 much. 2 free, but even in freedom not 2
excessive. Herein lies the difficulty.”)
15/9 /08 . O Lake Mary (30kz +Sv Roxby Downs) nO 4½ hrz nr howln gal prst floksv
^2 svrl 100 Black (Cygnus atratus) orlwaz Cn ¬2 thwnd; H sp¤kt ♀r thru ♀r Croc s&l; ¤
hd rdp 4 rwosh …. Nuthr rO ÷H2O: 1 Australian Shoveler (Anas rhynchotis) rmung thPink-
eared Duck (Malacorhynchus membranaceus) &th Grey Teal (Anas gracilis); kam † nordnri Feral
Pigeon (Columba livia)!!! wth && n oth legz n ÷ thwnd nth le vr s& =n. H w twoz r ho··
eon. Rthr eons n Roxby Downs?; thko·· woodswolr h·zth White-breasted Woodswallow
(Artamus leucorynchus) & thWhite-backed Swallow (Cheramoeca leucosternus) kn rlso n O
thlak 2gthr wth thuzul Welcome Swallow (Hirundo neoxena); wr sumwot d ÷ thwnd & nt ¬
¬ 2da koz w m¤ f¤nd r d · 2® 4thn¤t . Thrzr ?mrk O owr ¬ ¬ 2moro am zthrz
n no1 O sns thlrst lft ys d am & thgal hz own mor s& ovr thorlred s&i aks. … wn u w vt,
2b ® nrlrj frshH2O lak nth v thdzrt (16/9/08. how doo thBlack f¤ndt? (26/10/08. so ¤ nklud
nold pom ( Bird Poems (no 21)) vm¤n:
all your
stratagems and plans
cannot give your children
sight
yet the black swan
on the wing
can smell the swamp
across the night ))
n· Roxby Downs zx ordnri - ¤ 4gt 2··shn th@ thez fmrl laks hv ya nm & ma evn
smorl z¤ ♪ thSilver Gull (Larus novaehollandiae) r d¤vn 4 sum10 (l¤k Tern (Sterna) doo) just
128
¬ thsrC &th Black-winged Stilt (Himantopus himantopus) r nodowt fednn shrmps; 2setl+ 2th nxt
chap v (ch 7 - w) Ferdydurke ¤ Witold Gombrowicz.
22/9 /08. Waltumba Public E nth shorv Lake Gairdner (¤dv wd 2 r mv †n
th☼t lak<) ¬ ¬ (chktowt rnuthr favrt ·vm¤n nth Lake Gairdner shor † Yardea stashn proprt
( Tuesday 21/8/01)) ¬ ¬ Mt Ive Station (pro (28/10/08. m¤ ' z d @th ntlj r!): p
l (@ $2/l ), H2O (10 l 4 $3), lofv bred, & showrz (@ $5 ech); & tz ^ - wlt > throd?) ¬ ¬
(v¤r Yardea µsted) ¬ ¬ Gawler jz National Park (which is much greener than Yardea, but still
extremely dry. Yardea is eaten bare and looks appalling. There were at least 5 Wedge-tailed Eagles within
the park boundary feeding on dead kangaroos, and on Mt Ive there was a big flock of galahs, some of
which were hunkered down behind the blue-bush protecting themselves from the very cold wind, much as
we do with the van tucked into trees. The weather was miserable today as a big front went through, but
not as bad as in Broken Hill where the SES controller reckoned it was the worst storm since the 1960s
when he was a young’un – wind gusts reached 117k/ph, it hailed, it rained mud & there was much property
damage. Cobar & Tibooburra also copped a serve. We were very lucky, as we’d already reached Mt Ive
when it started to rain so had it got worse we could have sheltered there. Its still windy & cold here,
though John has found a very protected spot. The sun shone briefly but then disappeared behind a hill. It’s
a great park & there should be good walks tomorrow. Incidentally, a bloke working at Mt Ive reckoned that
the rousabouts there have never seen a camel either; tz 5.30pm t wr ¬< erli 2 skap thkold - ¤m *
10 Soul and Other Stories ¤ Andrey Platonov 1899-1951 hoo “saw much of his '
suppressed or censored in his life . In recent decades, however, these lost have
reemerged, & the eerie poe and poign hu♂ity of Platonov’s have come ever
more cl·. For Nadesha Mandelstam & Joseph Brodsky, Platonov was the ' who most
profoundly registered the spiritual shock of . For a new gene ion of innov@ive -
Soviet '' he figures as a daring explorer of word and ·, the master of what has been
called “altern@ive realism”. Depicting a devast8d · that is both terrifying & su ime,
Platonov is, without doubt, a universal ' who is as ☼i and haunting as Kafka.”
29/9 /08. 35kz N^v Wudinna ¬ ¬ Pygery Rocks ( ut · & xamplv vri n s10 wa
vkonservn H2O offth rok) ¬ ¬ Mt Wudinna (2
nd
lrjst monolyth nOZ (rfta ULURU); ths & sOn g it
roks hd n nhabtd ¤ th Ku-ku-tha m 4 tha woz drvn rwa & dportd ÷ thr skairs H2O ¤ thr¤
vlvth PASTORALISTS) ¬ ¬ Polda Dam (nuthr big fl@ rok off wch H2O ust2 kollktd) ¬ ¬
Wudinna ( , rgr (vrthn th@ u shoodnt doo 2r rgr woz dun2 ths1 ( Wednesday
20/7/05) - ¤ njoidt t 4 thchanjv °t & m¤ woz xsl ), eggn s&wch 4 H nth rodµ nth Eyre ^
wa) ¬ ¬ Kimba (j¤ Galah (Eolophus roseicapilla); ¤ ort r ♀/♂v shortz & rshortslevshrt &
H got 2 ♀/♂v shortz & r @ thoppshop 4 rOv $5.20!) ¬ ¬ 4n¤t ¤ owr lonsum nth shorv
Lake Gilles 27kz owtv Kimba (zw C owtv thE wrw hvnt n n d r1 orgne H hz ' mor po (
Sunday 28/9/08):
they drove us away
and put us here
on the long plain
by the shifting water
many many many days
from Waulkinna Hill
and our place
is lost
lost
my mother’s cousins
my brother’s sons
my father and his father
they put in another place
many many many days
away from us
and they are lost
lost
our songs and stories are
129
not the songs and stories of the
others here like us
soon they will be lost
lost
nights, the sea moans
like wind in casuarinas
I dream we walk on ridges,
in smooth rocky creekbeds
looking for water pooled
in stone bowls and basins
mornings, I wake to the bare sandy flat
by the bitter sea
and I know
I am lost
we are lost
(28/10/08. h··nold1 vm¤n:
our hearts are stone
our love
sand
our dream an opal
our spirit
air
our search is food
we are rain
we are flowers
we are seed
we stared at the night
till our skin turned black
we are night )
(22/10/08. The following is from The Gawler Ranges Park Management Plan, adopted 2006: “The land
comprising Gawler Ranges National Park forms part of the ‘Country’ of the Barngala and Kokatha people (Tindale
1974). For Barngala and Kokatha people, land and waters have many interconnected complex meanings and values.
The significance of land and waters is central to their lives: at birth, death, ceremonies and socially, whilst hunting,
gathering camping, and travelling. … Dispossession and dispersal began in the 1860s and was just about complete by
the late 1880s. Police Posts at Paney and Yardea assisted in the transfer of Aboriginal people to Fowlers Bay (near
Ceduna) where they received rations. The overall population of the mixed tribal groups located at the ration stations
(29/10/08. ufmzm?), including Fowlers Bay, was subsequently reduced by disease and, as a consequence, some
cultural knowledge was lost to future generations…. The full extent of Aboriginal heritage at Gawler Ranges National
Park has not been comprehensively researched.” According to Tindale, an anthropologist who studied
Aboriginal tribal distribution, the Barngala people were located from “east side of Lake Torrens south of
Edeowie and west of Hookina and Port Augusta; west of Lake Torrens to Island Lagoon and Yardea; at Woorakimba,
Hesso, Yudnapinna, Gawler Ranges; south to Kimba, Darke Peak, Cleve, and Franklin Harbour. Two divisions within the
tribe were recognized, one the Wartabanggala, living north of Port Augusta and extending to Ogden Hill and almost to
Quorn and Beltana; the other the Malkaripangala (note differing pronunciations in the tribal part of name).”)
6/10/08. ¬/÷ Blanchetown & Morgan rfu kz offthrod nr ovrgrazd proprt (m¤ li do z¬
rgn – H 4: “m ¤ n 2 d·dn?” (wr g10 old: ¤m ¬2 · n, Hz ¬2 gnelg & †werdz)) ¬ ¬
Morgan (nth toilt thrzr mozak vr kom ¤nd OZ/US wth thyank s ¤ps † th otm - mstv n ~d
¤ th nsl. Tz th2
nd
such kom nashn wv n nth p – 2much TV? legrd··tlt? PPP
(pspoorprotoplazm)? (28/10/08. fowndowt l8r nLoxton tm¤t thsm 4 rvr nth Mississippi
/Murray Rivers.); nth wa w n td sumv thhor shak vlrjz wch rsuchr fechr vSA & spoil so muchvth
Murray anks; ppr & ovr n thold port E) ¬ ¬ Waikerie (u, suppl¤¤: p l; H2O, sprmrkt) ¬
¬ Gluepot Reserve (65kz N^v Waikerie ^r dert ak; tz ownd ¤ Birds Australia & *ft Oi
¤ volnt··; no spl¤¤ rval h· so w rort nuff 4 rfu daz – spshli H2O; wr @th ‘ ·’ E 2n¤t O
130
12kz ÷thHQ; tz æ & wr h· ¤ owrslvz …. t rgroopv ldrli ♀♀ hv rr¤vd nr oop karrir (H 4
HUMVEE) & nldrli ♀/♂ hv ®d nr ¤ nr pop^ alr – wr rkw¤t bunch ¤ ♪ wth rproovl (1vth ♀♀
kamovr & 4 thrr 6vm & 2 2rledrz); @th HQ toilt thrz po pnd 2th worl:
The Aussie Dunny.
A real Australian story – if ever there is one!
Poor old Granddad’s passed away, cut off in his prime,
He never had a day off crook – gone before his time,
We found him in the dunny, collapsed there on the seat,
A startled look upon his face, his trousers round his feet,
The doctor said his heart was good – fit as any trout,
The Constable he had his say, “foul play” was not ruled out,
There were theories at the inquest of snakebite without a trace,
Of Redbacks quietly creeping and death from outer space,
No-one had a clue at all – the judge was in some doubt,
When dad was called to have his say as to how it came about,
“I reckon I can clear it up”, said dad with trembling breath,
“You see its quite a story – but it could explain his death.”
“This here exploration mob had been looking at our soil,
And they reckoned that our farm was just the place for oil,
So they came and put a bore down and said they’d make some trials,
They drilled a hole as deep as hell, they said about three miles,
Well, they never found a trace of oil and off they went, post haste,
And I couldn’t see a hole like that go to flamin’ waste,
So I moved the dunny over it – real smart move I thought,
I’d never have to dig again – I’d never be “caught short”
The day I moved the dunny, it looked a proper sight,
But I didn’t dream poor Granddad would pass away that night,
Now I reckon what has happened – poor Granddad didn’t know
The dunny was re-located when that night he had to go,
And you’ll probably be wondering how poor Granddad did his dash –
Well, he always used to hold his breath – until he heard the splash!”
( Thursday 15/6/06 & 29/6/06))
13/10 /08. G d Duke Mine, Timor ( Thursday 4/9/08) ¬ ¬ (thzr th·· ¤ ¤dntf
¤d 4 th1st nth p: White-fronted Honeyeater (Phylidonyris albifrons), Yellow-plumed
Honeyeater (Lichenostomus ornatus), Purple-gaped Honeyeater (Lichensotomus cratitius),
Brown-C° Honeyeater (Melithreptus brevirostris), Pied Honeyeater (Certhionyx variegatus),
Black Honeyeater (Certhionyx niger), Gilberts Whistler (Pachycephalus inornata), White-browed
Treecreeper (Climacteris affinis), Bourkes Parrot (Neopsephotus bourkii), Striated Grasswren
(Amytornis striatus), Rufous Fieldwren (Calamanthus campestris), Cinnamon Quail-thrush
(Cinclosoma cinnamomeum), & Chestnut Quail-thrush (Cinclosoma castanotus) – 13 d nu sp
- wn ¤ get ÷2 MELBOURNE ¤m ¤n rnu ♀/♂v LEICA n now th@ Kevin hz ga td orl
ank dpozts! (29/10/08. ort 2 ♀/♂: 10 x 25z & 8 x 42z)) ¬ ¬ (v¤r Maryborough, Carisbrook,
Castlemaine) ¬ ¬ Kyneton ( & pprz) ¬ ¬ MELBOURNE (END (th gnn vrnuthr1?) –
wvdun r rgan).
13/4 /09 (¤ lir09°ri p♪♫). ¤ rezum ' th p ♪♫ wthth n10shnv +nm 2th Days
¤ th Friday zpu sht, hopfuli 4 thndv 09. H·· thst8v pla: 2n¤t w lev (($A16 x 2 ¬port shutl
7) 4 ROMA (dprt MELBOURNE 2130 ¤ Emi ¬EK407, ekonmi); ¤m karin 6-loz nth
dapak (12/9/09. t ÷ Salvoo nErrol st 4 $10) & 2-loz nth sholdr ag (12/9/09. ÷ Vic mrkt 4 $12)
= 8-loz & H zkarin 4½kz & 1½kz = 6kz; m¤ udprshr medkashn (PERINDOPRIL/INDAPAMIDE
131
4/1.25) z werkn: vrj prshr rf wakn^ nth am z 180/100 (10/9/09. t snn ¤m tz n 151/82.) -
nt doo 0 Ot tl ¤ & dDaOvIiGd norgust (10/9/09. dd ♂m). Tz nishu z¤ dont 12 ° 4 ¤
komplet th Days wont 4 2011 (m¤ chrtv prognos~ashnz showz m¤ ch vr majr wvasklr
evnt nth nxt 5 y·· z1/3).Tzr prfkt ortm da nMELBOURNE – vri stl, & O 25ºC. So w dd r :
DOCKL&Z, ETIHAD STADIUM, JEFFS SHED, CASINO, SOUTHBANK, æ @ NAM LUNG, WEST
MELB. @th n ¬2 th n nashnl ¬port ¤ woz chkt4 & frskt - must thshavn C (8.30, 4
dn). Dubai: h·w kum! (ovr 14 owrz) …. @ Tullamarine t ($4 x 2) 2 gt ridv thsmorl chanj. ¤
m kepn r komplet r n10 rgan vAspnt nth p. 4 2da tz ($A16 x 2) + (A$4 x 2) = $A40 …. Th ¤v
rort z On Certainty ¤ Wittgenstein (2 re ( 7/8/00 ) (10/9/09. dd opnt).
20/4 /09. €1.20 (autobus ÷ stazione ¬ v TARQUINIA) + €1.70 (2 banane, 2 pere) +
€9.70 (supermer·o owts¤d thworl prst Porta Garibaldi: yoghurt 0.95; formaggio fontina 2.32;
La Vignetta Rossa (1 l ) 1.00; 4 pile (AA) 2.02; ciabattina 0.50; tartarughe 0.27; chino 0.41;
succo 1.00; salami 1.22) = €12.60. Left the Independenza Inn with warm farewells from the Italian
American whom we thought to be the owner but he turned out to be an employee, married to a Ukranian
& saving to retire to her parents’ farm in the Ukraine where he thinks he’ll be rich because he’ll have an
Italian pension to live on. We left him with our €6.00 worth of bus tickets which we had impulsively bought
thinking to use them on return journeys from our walks – he was chuffed as they can be used on the metro
too. Bought more stamps & a phone card to use when ringing convents/B&Bs, & caught the Treni Regionali
train secondo classe to Tarquinia, where the info office provided us with a selection of economico
accomodazione in the centro storico, & told us where the monastero was which John had found listed in a
book of religious houses which accept guests that he’d bought in Melbourne. There was no answer when
the signora in the tourist office rang them, so we trundled off to knock on the door. The monastero seemed
to share the building with a University of Tuscia office, where a really helpful young man explained in
halting English that the monastero only took pilgrims, but offered to ring his friend who had a B&B. It
turned out to be the same one the signora in the tourist office had listed as numero uno on a a list of 6 –
the Al Corso Bed & Breakfast, Via Giordano Bruni 1 on the corner of Corso Vittorio Emanuele (the main
street). It is a small double room with ensuite on the first floor, with a window overlooking the Corso & is
quite comfortable at €50/night. We’ve decided on 3 nights as a start. Tarquinia is a beautiful old town
(many buildings are 10
th
– 13
th
century) & is only 1k away from a major Etruscan site. We spent most of the
afternoon looking through the Palazzo Vitelleschi (Renaissance, begun 1436, completed 1480-90) Etruscan
Museum, gratuito, (as its Cultural Week here too) & taking a quick look around town. We’ve found 2
supermarkets (always one of the first things we do) just outside the wall within easy reach, & an internet
point a few streets away. There are torre here, & austere medieval churches. Interesting happenings today:
1. at Termini while we were waiting for the train to move off, 2 gypsies came through. One left a small
ticket on the seat next to us, which John thought was info about a dining car perhaps. When I read it, it
was a begging note for “fratelli sans casa”. John was going to keep it but the gypsy took it back when we
didn’t cough up any dough. The second handed out an A4 sheet purporting to be a fund-raiser for an
“ospedale”. He didn’t get anything either. When the train got moving (on time, of course) a gypsy girl with
a baby came begging along the carriages; 2. the ticket collector fined a kid who had no ticket. John had
noticed him looking a bit nervous/uncomfortable/tense when he got on. Perhaps he’d given all his money
to the gypsies; 3. at Ladispoli-Cerveteri station lots of people got off & crossed the tracks to get to the
other platform right underneath the sign saying its Vietato. One was a really old man who was so doddery
he had trouble climbing onto the platform. It was a great example of how Italians love to defy the rules.
(20/7/09. Bill Bryson “Neither Here nor There: Travels in Europe” 1991: “Italians are entirely without any
commitment to order. They live their lives in a kind of pandemonium, which I find very attractive. They don’t queue, they don’t pay
their taxes, they don’t turn up for appointments on time, they don’t undertake any sort of labour without a small bribe, they don’t
believe in rules at all. On Italian trains every window bears a label telling you in three languages not to lean out of the window. The
labels in French and German instruct you not to lean out, but in Italian they merely suggest that it might not be a good idea. It could
hardly be otherwise.”); 3. we got our first view of the Mar Tirreno, named after Tyrrhenus, the leader of the
Etruscan immigrants from Lidia in Western Anatolia, from the train & some nice sandy beaches; 4. There
are photos of all the major Etruscan tomb paintings in the museum, taken by Takashi Okamura – have to
check them out on the web when I get home. (20/7/09. Didn’t find anything). S10 nr onth ¬2 r@ u
dontno wth no 4wrd n 4 thn¤t zr good feln. & ma u rr¤v @r @ thnth1 u lft. ¤ w
ROMA t thchanj vpas h· zr r (& tz chepr) – nvrthls th r e10^ Tarquinia 2 justz tha pro li
r nerli vri uthr CENTRO STORICO n¤ lir. Owr nth 1
st
flor owt nth ko d man s t vth town –
just hd r owts¤d - & th^ zpsn+.
27/4 /09. €5.83 (mer·o ¬ owr nth Piazza del Carmine: formaggio, pane,
soprassata etc.) + €2.50 (pomodori ÷ nx2th mer·o) + €6.00 (franco olli (@ x6)) + €5.00
(biglietti ^ Torre Guinigi just n· ¤ ÷ thtopv (230 scali) ¤ took fotofoto) …. (H wthdru €400
÷ anKOm@ & pad me th €330 dfr twn m¤ & ♀r VISA pa··tpa··t @ ROMA & PISA
132
rspktvli ( s@rd 25/4/09 norjnl jernl ♪♫); so ¤ put m¤ persnl €330 ¬ owr joint f¤n f¤n 4
♀r 2 = nth fuchr; so s 8 rwa ♀z poo10 €150 ¬2 thjoint vln r nt ♀r own me €180) ….
+ €1.47 (pere & mele @ mer·o +scali) = €20. Had a bad evening/early night as I had a severe
hiatus hernia episode which didn’t settle until some time after I went to bed when cramps in my foot took
over. I finally slept well & surfaced about 7am – John had woken about 5 when the day’s deliveries to the
supermarket (right around the corner from us, & visible from the bedroom window) started. Breakfast was
lovely – fruit juice, coffee with milk, a nice bun, a slice of prosciutto, a slice of packaged cheese (the only
pre-packed item), an egg (not usual in Italia for breakfast in B&Bs) & a piece of fruit. Butter & jams were
provided. The eating area was presided over by the Mama of the owner & 2 younger women, one the wife
of the owner, the other perhaps a sister (29/4. an employee who lives in Barga). The atmosphere was
cheerful & welcoming. I couldn’t eat my prosciutto (passed it to John) & took my piece of fruit for later.
Shopped at the supermercato & the fruit & veg. market next to it & found the prices only slightly higher
than the bigger supermercati like COOP & PAM. Investigated the 12
th
century Basilica di San Frediano
(what I had thought was called St. Zita’s yesterday) where the embalmed body of Santa Zita was laying in
state (4 days each year, as she is the Patron Saint of Lucca) & devotees were brushing its glass front with
small bouquets of narcissus (26/7/09. “St. Zita: (also known as Sitha, Citha). In April, the square in front of the San
Frediano church in Lucca is full of flowers and plants. If you walk away from the church and down the main road, you'll
soon come across the amphitheatre which also has flowers on show and for sale. The narcissus (or daffodil) is associated
with the story of a local girl named Zita, who was born hundreds of years ago and who went on to become a saint. At age
twelve she became a domestic servant for a family in Lucca, a position she kept all her life. She often gave her own food, and
sometimes that of her master, to those poorer than herself, which caused her great trouble in the household. Born 1218 at Monsagrati
near Lucca, Italy. Died 27 April 1272 at Lucca, Italy. Canonized 1696. Patronage: against losing keys, butlers, domestic servants,
homemakers, housemaids, lost keys, maids, manservants, people ridiculed for their piety, rape victims, servants, servers, single
laywomen, waiters, waitpersons, waitresses.” (www.welcometotuscany.it ) ). The narcissus is a reminder of a local
myth/miracle concerning Santa Zita – once she took some of her employer’s left-over bread to distribute
to the poor. One of her fellow-servants dobbed her in, but when her master demanded to see what she
had in her apron, not bread, but narcissus flowers fell out. The notices advertising the display of her body
are headed “S. Zita: vergine” which makes John hopping mad – he reckons the teachings of the church are
sexually deviant in that they glorify verginity & ignore the value/status of women who bear & rear children.
The upper façade of the Basilica is decorated with a huge golden mosaic. The church of San Michele is
breathtaking (26/7/09. www.welcometotuscany.it: “The facade of San Michele in Foro is a delight. The upper section gives the
impression of a propped-up film set - the windows look through onto thin air - as money ran out before that part of the church could
be raised to the level of the facade. Every single column is different; some are elaborately carved, some twisted and spiralling, others
are like striped sweets. Look up at the figure of the archangel - the wings are hinged and may be retracted if the wind gets up! If you
catch sight of a glimmer up above then you are in for some good luck - you'll have seen the jewel in a ring on the hand of the statue.”
(I didn’t)). Inside there is a Filippino Lippi (Saints Elena, Rocco, Sebastiano & Girolamo standing in glowing,
beautifully rendered flowing robes of intense colour with calm, serene faces), an early fresco of the
Madonna & Child & a 12
th
century crucifix like the ones we saw in Spello, Spoleto & Asissi in 2007.
Continued our strolling round the vias, checked out the Anfiteatro (27/7/09. "Piazza Anfiteatro" Piazza of the
Amphitheatre. - Built on the site of an original Roman amphitheatre. The ancient amphitheatre dates from the 2nd century A.D. It was
built on an elliptical plan with two rows of 54 arcades and a maximum capacity of 10,000 spectators. Beginning in the Middle Ages,
houses were built over the ruins. Over the course of time the piazza developed its characteristic elliptical shape, with buildings all
around it. The ancient remains are still quite evident today. The colorful piazza was restored in 1830. Enlivened by shops and cafes, it
is still at the center of cultural activities, music festivals, and fairs.” www.welcometotuscany.it) – the plants on sale included
calistemons, very cheap geraniums (big, established plants for €2 each!) & phalanopsis orchids for €8!! Its
economico to be a gardener in Lucca – wish I could fit some into my backpack. As we strolled toward the
Torre Guinigi, in the narrow street a furniture van was delivering a sofa to a top-floor appartment (at least
5 floors up) through the window using an electric extension ladder with a moveable platform. It looked an
impressive exercise – living in medieval towns must make home-owners think carefully before they buy
(Will it fit throught the door? Will it fit through the window? Can I get it up the 230 steps to the flat?) We
climbed 230 steps to the top of the tower where a mini-grove of holm-oaks grow, making the tower look
like a Magritte painting when you see it from a distance, & enjoyed the magnificent view for €2.50 each.
The inside of the Torre is decorated on each floor with modern paintings done in 12
th
-15
th
century style
depicting the Guinigi’s role in the story of Lucca, a quirky cartoon history which made an entertaining
break in the trudge up the steps. We met 2 Dutch women on the roof for whom John took a photo, & got
some info about the Cinque Terre, from where they had come. Strolled to the tourist office in Piazza S.
Maria to get train/bus info re the Serchio Valley town of Barga, where we may stay sometime later this
week (we’ll do a recce tomorrow & Wednesday), walked along a walled canal where fish (29/4. called
‘barbi’) are plentiful in the clear, fast-flowing water, withdrew €400 from my Visa account to pay John €330
to equalize the Rome rent he paid on his Visa card, and returned to B&B La Torre for internet use (checked
out the Cinque Terre youth hostel the Dutch ladies had recommended - €65 for a twin room with bathroom,
€1.50 bath & towel rental, room lock-out 10- 4 each day, no breakfast, & reservation required 1 week in
advance, so its not as economico as they had suggested – we’ll try elsewhere when we get there). John
emailed “Monday” to the young man he talked to on the train (see Thursday 23/4/09.). After dinner John
went to a nearby photographic shop and managed to mime his desire fot a battery re-charge for his
camera, which was provided “gratuito”. Found the book “La Bella Figura” (see Friday 17/4/09) in the
133
Mondadori Liberia in English, re-titled “An Italian in Italy”, so bought it (€9.60 – about $A17) – an enjoyable
read so far. Forgot to mention the gypsy beggar in the doorway of San Michele – the first we’ve seen in
Lucca – who looked like a well-dressed shop-keeper: 40s, portly, neat peaked beret & nice jumper & pants
– indistinguishable almost from the tourists visiting the chiesa, except he had his hand out. ¤ w mapmap
n·li zmuchz ¤ w mazmaz ( ys days da n ). Wth rmap ¤ kn SOLVE th LABYRINTH
vLUCCALUCCA s ts t - ¤ kn MASTER LUCCA. Mapmap r RE TIONIST zr s¤ns¤n,
numbrnumbr, dfnshndfnshn, moralt & lorlor, & evn langwj tslf. ¤ thr yus w gan powr ovr nachr &
echuthr. Thuthr s¤d vth koin zth@ w looloo MYSTERY & BEAUTY. W kn kum m wth CC stuft wth
st@s~st@s~ O t (12/9/09. 2da tt vs nth AFL ½ f¤nll & , vs
nth VFL ½ f¤nl) w & bludprshr, A etc etc. ma gan thK @ thkostv n us ¬2 totl
notonli 2 uthruthr t 2 owrslvowrslv. W gan thK t looloo owr ☼☼. & wn nufvus hv lost owr ☼☼ wwl
DESTROY thK 2. 2moro wr gon ¤ /7 2 Borgo a Mozzano 2 thPonte del Diavolo: tho l
namnam th Ponte della Maddalena t tz n nonnon th DevilDevil Bridge snn twoz lt nth 14
th
100 koz m 4 twoz so utfl tkood onli hv n lt ¤ th DIAVOLO.
4/5/09. €3.80 (capuccino & capuccino scuro & rioche (x2) @ gelateria nBarga 4
æ) + €9 ( biglietti (x2) Castelnuovo di Garfagna ¬ La spezia v¤r aulla & thn v¤r sarzana) + €3 (7
biglietti (x2) La spezia centrale 7 ¬ lerici/san terenzo) + €18.97 (supermer·o (supl¤¤ 4 1½
dada) = €35. We had another astonishing act of generosity today when we arrived at the bus terminus in
Castelnuovo di Garfagna & asked one of our fellow passengers where the stazione was. The young woman
didn’t know how to explain the route & asked her friends who also couldn’t help, & a passerby likewise.
The bus driver hopped out of the bus (already late because of hold-ups along the way from Barga) & asked
around in the bus office but no one there knew enough English either, so he motioned us to get back into
the bus (licensed to carry 50+ passengers, Mercedes Benz) & drove us to the station which was about 5-
10 driving minutes away but along a circuitous route which we would never have found by walking. He
was held up by a red light & some typically Italian behaviour by other drivers, but he got us there in time
to catch the 12.01 train to La Spezia. How’s that for kindness to strangers!? It would never happen in
Melbourne. We had to change trains at Aulla, where 2 nice young men counselled us on what platform to
stand on, & again at Sarzana. One of the young men shared the Aulla – Sarzana leg with us: he was a final
year archaeology student at Pisa University,specializing in Egypt & Mesopotamia. Sarzana was an
attractive town with a long main via & an impressive 14
th
century castello, but we only had 30 minutes
before catching the next train to La Spezia, a loud, busy city where many tourists disembarked. A bus took
us to Lerici, on the Gulf of Poets, where we spent an hour or so just wandering, waiting for the info office to
open (siesta time when we arrived). The La Spezia info office had given us a booklet of accomodation, but
many were 3 – 5 star hotels (including The Byron & The Shelley) which were well out of our price range
(The Byron offered a double room for €120), & the B&Bs listed were quite expensive too. The young
woman at the shore-side info place spoke little English but was able to find us Casa Bahia, Via della Vittoria
26B, a room with ensuite in the home of Aura Teodoro, a Brazilian woman, for €60 with breakfast. It’s a
small room on the 2
nd
floor in an apartment block in San Terenzo, the suburb which melds into Lerici & is
actually better as it has a less touristy feeling & there are 2 fairly big supermarkets close by. There is an
ensuite, & the bed is comfortable, so we are set for 2 nights before we tackle the Cinque Terre. The
wardrobe & bathroom cabinet are full of someone’s stuff, so the room must be used most of the time – I
wonder where they are now. There are diplomas/certificates of attendance from the Herbalife Company for
Aura & her partner; one of them wishes her well in her role as an independent distributor of Herbalife
products (Atlanta 2005); another is from Rimini (2008 – Herbal Summit) & one welcomes her to the World
Team!. She took our passports & said she’d return them ‘stasera’, but they havent turned up yet. John is
anxious. ¤m r t j° 2 – thkostl nri z nithn nu 2mi rf thAMALFI kost 2 y··rgo. N d i ey &
♂z ♀ Mary stad h·nSan Terenzo 4 ♂ drownd. H 4 mi th@ Mary Shelley zth 'v Frankenstein.
Tmakmak ♀r thmor famoos & H reknz th@ rkordn 2 ser10 m (fe··stfe··st?) ♀♀ thmor tl d….
¤ hvnt n a 2 slep worin O thwrOOv owr prsportprsport – orl 3ovm (2 OZ, 1 LT)? H rshurzme th@
¤m PARANOID ( Thursday 5/10/00) & ♀♀ no t konsernd. t snn rerl¤zn th@thsz th1
st
rkomrdashn n¤ lir wv nn hznthd th ♪sv rkredtashn nth dor ¤v n worin evnmor (1.45am). ¤
m 2rmmbr hvn n sumwr th@ evri plas rntrnt roomroom zspozd 2hvt fxt nth ns¤dv thdor. Fw tak
owr lugj & ¬2 thpolis Aura & ♀r pr10r kood 4 wv nvr n h·. Or ♀/♂ kood 4 wdd ovr owr
prsportprsport wnw 1
st
kam! Yair ¤m just AN OLD MAN GETTING HIMSELF ¬2 A LATHER!
11/5 /09. €8.60 ( biglietti (x2) corniglia ¬ genova Principe) + €3.80 (capuccino
(x2), rioche (4 H), focaccia (4 mi) – thszr genova (10/9/09. ZENA – lokl vrnakulr) sp t (wth onyn) &
ts dlshus) + €13.43 (pro ÷ COOP supermer·o n·wrwr nth Via XX Settembre. R lrj sl¤sv
onyn focaccia kostkost €1) + €2.50 (4r 1owr ~ d) = €28.33. John didn’t sleep well, woke up early &
134
so we set off at 7am to catch the train to Genova. In our slightly groggy state, & pre-occupied with getting
the right train on the right platform (7.28 regionale, bin. 3) we forgot to validate the tickets. John
remembered about 5 minutes into the trip & asked a girl sitting near us if she would verify to the
‘Directore’ (ticket inspector) that we had got on at Corniglia & that we had tried to find him/her on the
train (before he/she found us – John did a quick run up & down the carriages with no success). She agreed,
but we had a rather uneasy 2 hour journey & finally got out one stop early at Genova Brignole rather than
tempt fate & be caught in the last 10 minutes. As a gesture of gratitude for her help we gave the girl the
unvalidated tickets (worth €8.60). We found a good bar not far from the station for our breakfast – John
tried the traditional focaccia alla Genovese with onions (cold) & thought it was terrific. We slogged around
looking for the Tourist info office where an efficient senora recommended where to look for 2 star hotels &
we found one – Locanda (Inn) Alambra Via XX Settembre 36/8 – which has no stars at all, but which
provides a large double room with table, handbasin & desklamp for €50/night (we got a €5 reduction
because we didn’t want breakfast). It has a very high ceiling with a plaster ceiling rose & a frieze of
poppies along the top of the walls, which is about 18inches deep. The walls are very thick, but the door is
quite flimsy, & lets in the noise. We found the nearest supermarket & got our evening provisions & then
did some exploring in the Centro Storico. Genova spreads 34ks E-W along a narrow coastal plain & has the
largest old town in Europe according to the tourist brochures. There seems to be heaps to see & there are
many magnificent buildings & an extensive area above the city reachable by funiculars & rack-railway.
Checked our email at the closest internet point – Michael is back in hospital & Joe is visiting; Kate’s
exhibition was very successful – she sold quite a few pieces - & her new car is going well (10/9/09. here is
a piece she wrote on the perils of being a poor artist: “The Fundamental Problem Is Thinking About Money
All The Time: ¶ I spend too much time consumed with the problem of money. It’s always been like that, as
long as I can remember. As a child I was aware that my parents were consumed with the problem of
money and both of their parents were as well. Money was spoken of regularly, usually with a lot of sighing,
yelling or sentiment attached. The giving over of money was always an extreme emotional activity, loaded
with significance, probably because the getting of it in the first place was arduous. I surmise that money
occupies the majority of minds in an obsessive and negative way - those who believe themselves to be
free from the oppressive object of money should spend some time without any at all, so that they might
better make an objective assessment of how much time is actually consumed with the practice of
commerce in everyday life. ¶ Unsurprisingly, as a printmaker, I now find that I have poor standing in the
world of finances (not much superannuation, no savings, no credit line, no property investments / assets,
an ongoing casual and short-term -contract-based work status (jobbing) etc). It is sporadically that I have
enough money for more than basic needs, in spite of growing up in the affluent Western World where
money is evidently everywhere for the getting. ¶ The system of Capital comes with silent reprimands
regarding any individuals’ inability to hold onto it or to be able to obtain more of it with apparent ease.
This is my direct experience anyway, the problem manifests as a downward pressure: I engage less in
regular social and relaxation activity because I do not experience regular free time with flowing Capital.
When I have the time for leisure I have no money and when I am Jobbing I have no free time - so that is
the drama for me, not having enough and not being able to get more, easily. (I know people who have a lot
less expendable Capital than I do and they experience still less social activity, less ability to move from
one area to another, less relaxation activity, less entertainment, less comfort etc.) ¶ The other problem
that compounds this downward trend is the need to make prints and drawings coupled with what I
perceive is a societal pressure to not make them. When I am employed I make prints during the weekends
and at night, (sometimes in bed because I’m really tired from working). During periods of unemployment I
am busy performing for the State in exchange for benefits, which are limited, leaving no extra funds for
materials and other expenses associated with making prints and drawings. There is also the continued
problem of limited time because I am required to swap labour for the State benefit, so really it’s more
Jobbing, just with less pay. So I make less. The resulting lack of Capital translates into a need to be
engaged in more paid work all the time, or being in the process of trying to find paid work, or negotiating
the terms of the work, or working for dole and being engaged in keeping the welfare workers in paid work
and so on. So my experience of Capital translates into Time, (which I find I have less and less of to spend
making prints and drawings) and also into Isolation, (given my inability to consistently afford to participate
in social occasions, including regular contact with my family). Less of everything. ¶ In my mind Capital and
the activity it generates takes up a large area of space, is associated with anxiety and logically contributes
eventually to illness. ¶ It makes me sick. ¶ Recently the revelation that Big Business has been making a
relentless attack on the financial standing and peace of mind of poorer people has been in the news a lot.
This business practice of manipulate and pilfer has been gaining momentum for decades and has largely
been supported in the free world by the majority population and the elected Governments. Ponzi
Schemers, Bankers and Financial Advisors aside, the majority populations have supported all of the dirty
schemes Big Business have come up with over years and years, I mean it is pretty obvious that scams
such as the late-fee and also the pay-less-if-you-pay-on-time deal, (which is essentially a late fee) targets
people who are short of steady money – this is stating the obvious but if it’s so obvious why has it been
supported by so many for so long? ¶ How is it that our Culture is so mean, so willing to apply downward
pressure? It’s not a new situation that I am experiencing, or a unique one, people have been aware of it for
a long time, it’s been building momentum for generations, which makes it worse really, this situation
seems an unstoppable downward force of money eroding lifetimes. I read a book last year that JG Ballard
wrote, a book of fiction that outlines an association between Grand Scale Commerce and Fascism. Non-
135
fictional contemporary Greek Anarchists perceive this association clearly and have protested accordingly. I
think the most frightening aspect of a Cultural system that places all of its value in the endless movement
of money is that it’s a singular focus, it’s just so anti-social, even psychopathic. ¶ Australia has developed
a finely tuned socio-financial hierarchy that systematically relegates a high percentage of people into
demeaning working-poverty cycles, (some don’t even get a look into the cycle, the most disorganised, the
most ill, those born into welfare traps, the most sensitive, many artists, performers, writers and poets -
and particularly mothers who are often the sole supporters of those - are generally cut away from the
money train for ever.) The hierarchy is matched with a political system that divides and isolates people by
requiring that everyone, (including anyone who might potentially advocate on behalf of those others), be
busy at some form of competitive Capital - producing work all of the time and also to be proving that all of
time: to be always accountable for Capital Utilization. The customs we pride ourselves on reinforce the
hierarchy: for business transactions, which are all forms of commerce including education and training and
which now make up a high percentage of the opportunities we have to communicate with other people in
daily life, we advocate hard handshakes (a violent invasion of personal space and assertion of dominance)
smiling broadly (baring teeth) and staring each other in the eye (like wild animals do when they prepare to
fight each other). It’s hard to behave in another way, it’s out of the ordinary, even extraordinary, to
behave in any other way. ¶ What are we? Pirates? ¶ Australian Capital Culture, what kind of worth does it
manifest? It seems saturated through with a great meanness, in the sense of self-involvement, a miserly
attitude of reward and punish, an inability to empathise with others (unless they are property owners - in
which case empathy oozes like pus out of a sore). Acts of generosity have a tendency to be self-gratifying,
are grown from Nationalist (mob conformity) or Corporate (self interest) sentiment and exist only when
such action is deemed worthy by the State and the Media drives it. Is there going to be a benefit concert
held for the thousands of low-income workers who are barely able to afford basic rent and household bills?
A Cd cut for soup kitchens? (we can watch the recording of it, on telly). How about a song sung for all the
homeless who are crammed into sub standard semi-permanent, semi-State housing and who have been
living and dying on the streets in Victoria for decades? There’s been a social disaster for as long as I can
remember. ¶ There aren’t enough descriptive words in the English language to accurately describe the
range of emotions that span the spectrum from joy to despair. I spend a lot of my time bogged down in the
far-right end of the spectrum trying to establish my place in the Australian system of super-aggressive
commerce. Yo Ho Ho. Recently I downloaded an essay from the Internet written by the Tarnac 9, (a French
group of university educated social theorists who were arrested earlier this year in France, under Anti-
Terrorist Legislation, for gathering themselves into a commune, vandalising some train tracks and writing
an Anti-Capitalist document that predicts a future of civic violence in the Western world.) The document
makes links between the destruction of the environment for the purpose of commercial activity, the
inanity of constant productivity, the impossibility of consumption for all and the high level of depression in
Western populations. It suggests that depression is a strike state, a state of financial and political
disaffiliation. ¶ It’s worth considering these links and all of their implications. Depression is not a chosen
state, it descends upon us– it’s another downward pressure, it’s more of less. Less joy moving towards
despair, more despair moving towards violence. (If I hear the words ‘share-holder’ again as I
simultaneously scrabble around my empty cupboards for something to construct a meal from while the
television reports on people who no longer have cupboards scrounging around a desert somewhere in the
Middle East, there is a chance that I might resort to eating my own heart and crashing my car into a petrol
station). ¶ The election of Labour Federal Government doesn’t mean much in terms of relieving the
pressure. I can perceive no difference between the parties, they are made up of the same sorts of people,
people who are very well paid, people who can choose between luxury or organic foods, can choose which
suburb they want to live in and can live in their owned house. They have sick leave and take holidays
overseas and have borrowing privileges with banking systems. Their cars are new, leased, electric and
insured. They (and their children) can drive drunk and don’t have to consider jail-time. Their friends are
legal people, doctors, financial advisors, academic elites, rock and roll stars, movie people. They hover
together at the top and consult each other regarding ways to preserve the wonderful world they live in,
ways to make it even richer. (When I telephone up Government departments to ask that they clarify the
purpose of the new National Curriculum for schools, (which does not include art, drama, philosophy or
music as major subjects), I am reassured with super smooth tones that caress down the telephone line,
massaging my mood into ever more varied forms of despair in the face of this enduring hopelessness, that
Mr Garret and Ms Blanchett are at my side, those angels of free expression will represent my profession
and liberate the arts…) ¶ Current Government (and its’ implicit Corporation) continue to have no positive
bearing on my life at all; they are a hostile force whose sole purpose is to make human existence less and
less autonomous. Troops continue to mobilize, security continues to be stepped up, well-paid steady jobs
are scarce (the most commonly available employment is found in the Security industries where the
incarceration of fellow-man continues to be a business venture and in Education industries, where people
will be taught how best to identify and report the crimes of fellow-man). The left merges further towards
the right, scrutiny is applied to the poor, Indigenous land management techniques are ignored, what’s left
of bushland is being cut down to make space for bio-organic fuel crops and access to fresh water is being
reduced. Productivity and consumption continue to be the dominant form of social activity and the same
people are locked out of the flowing Capital system. The future threatens more organised benefit concerts
where grief and relief can be directly controlled by Ministers who will hypnotise us from the concert
platform into believing that it’s all about something other than the flow of Capital to maintain Government
136
and its’ implicit Corporation. ¶ The Moving of Capital will continue to control everyone’s every moment and
the destruction of my free time will not ease up. Health and Wellbeing will keep growing into a boom
industry, a net to catch university fall-outs, damaged soldiers, desperate youth, rising numbers of
Aspergers’ and artists, all those whose lives are becoming increasingly meaningless. The Wellness industry
will become a conduit that we are all funnelled through, our only avenue for company and complaint, it will
provide us with the pharmaceutical means to continue working and distract us from our lack of any
civilized Culture with the provision of art therapy sessions. Education and Training will replace
Entertainment and Trading in name only, it will be still be about Capital in essence. Work For The Dole
projects will be used as a means to build public infrastructure, materials will be payed for through benefit
events while tax dollars will be used for the import of Sporting Heroes and Socialites to attend gala events
where Members of Parliament can meet and greet them at their leisure. ¶ And I suspect that my making of
art will remain meaningless in the face of policy surrounding Jobs, Youth Training and the Decent Working
Families (these slogans are beginning to be suggestive of some kind of cult by the way – what is this
government trying to prove with its constant referral to the ‘decent’?) The fact remains that the moving of
Capital will continue to control everyone’s every moment and the destruction of my free time will not ease
up.”); Dan & Ben are fine; Elliot is saying 2 syllable words; Katie has had gastro but is recovering. And so
to bed (its very noisy in our room – the owner & staff are having a convivial meal in the vicinity & the
sound is carrying into the small courtyard below our window). By the way, we ate on a terrace again –
above the Via XX Settembre, the main street of Genova. It was like being 2 floors above Elizabeth St. near
the Bourke St. intersection, but a bit busier. We didn’t mind as we munched our ciabatta with soppressa &
pecorino with cherry tomatoes – a terrace is a terrace after all, & it has Genova around it to make it
special.
18/5 /09. €4.30 (capucci & rioche (x2) @th Stazione Principe genova @ 7am wa10
4
th
7.58 ; th regionale @ 40% ls kost thnth Italia ICP taktak onli 11 mnmn mor 2get ¬2 milano
Centrale) + €10.40 ( biglietti (x2) 2° classe regionale milano ¬ stresa @ 1325) + €2.50 (
macchiato & capuccino @ tavola nmilano (2 rvoid pan €2.00 (x2) 2go¬ thstazione toilette 4
rPISS) + €3.00 (me o biglietti (x2) Duomo ¬ Centrale ) + €6.50 (focaccia @ Centrale
(x2)) + €19.20 (supermer·o @ stresa 4 supl¤¤) = €46. Took a last stroll in Genova Centro Storico
after dinner last night – came across an exhibition of ballroom dancing by elderly couples which was
delightful. We got up at 6.30am, said farewell to our concierge, & arrived at the station an hour early for
breakfast. We remembered to validate the tickets & had an uneventful journey to Milano where we had 3
hours to wait till the Domodossola train left for Stresa. We walked to the Duomo & I was stunned by its
stained-glass windows & the forest of spires topped with statues on its roof. It’s an amazing building –
stone can be turned into lace & become airy. The front doors are of bronze sculpted into scenes from the
life of Christ & are very beautiful. It was a 40 minute walk back to Milano Centrale, so we were brave &
hopped on the underground (Metro) & were back in about 10, in time for some lunch (pizza slices) & to
catch the train to Stresa. We got on with an Australian, originally from Hobart, but now a permanent
resident of Germany who spends most of his time in Italy & Bali. His name is John Button, (10/8/09. see
http://nuke.johnbutton-permaculture.net/ENGLISH/-Home/tabid/36/Default.aspx) a specialist in permaculture design who
lives in Montescheno, out of Villadossola, & was convivial & informative company. He is the 3
rd
Aussie
we’ve met who lives & works in Italia (see Sulmona (Wednesday 2/5/07) & San Gimignano (Friday
25/5/07)). We found good accomodation in Stresa at Albergo Ristorante Luina, Via Garibaldi 21, one
street back from Lago Maggiore, within 5 minutes of the main piazza L. Cadorna & the supermercato. We
spent the remainder of the afternoon sussing out ferry trips & how best to see the Lago & having a brief
walk on the promenade along the water’s edge. John is studying maps, talking to himself, & deciding on an
itinerary to avoid excessive charges for everything. We ate dinner on our tiny little terrace looking up Via
L. Bolongaro to the green clad slopes above the town. The Lago is ringed with ever-rising slopes
culminating in snow-clad peaks and islands (Isola Bella, Isola Pescatori, & Isola Madre) lie just off-shore.
Isola Bella & Isola Madre have palaces & gardens & look like fairy-tale mini-kingdoms. The main task here
seems to be to get what is best on offer at an affordable price. There are package tours but they are
expensive & we try to avoid the mass tourist experience if possible; they are too speedy, covering too
many beautiful places in a day, and we prefer to go slow, see less & soak up the atmosphere in the places
we do see.
25/5 /09 ( 09°ri p♪♫). SF6 (€4) ( biglietti (x2) Intragna Verscio 4
thsupermer·o supl¤¤ zthrz no shop nIntragna) + SF43.45 (€29) (supl¤¤ 4 2dada: borsa
plastica – 0.30; Tavernello Rosso – 3.20; succo d’uva rossa – 1.40; succo di mele – 1.10;
cherry pomodori – 3.50; banane americani – 6.00; salamella Milano – 6.40; salametti – 5.70;
salametti sole del Ticino – 4.90; yoghurt – 0.95; bio pane pagnol – 7.00; pane alle olive –
3.00) + SF10.20 (€7) ( ·(medym) & rivella @th Hotel Antico Ristorante nIntragna) = €40. It
cost us €2 each to travel 2 stops (about 7 minutes) to do our shopping in Verscio where the prices are as
steep as the hills around the town – the variety is missing too: no arancia rossa for a start. Still, it is only a
small co-op, & we had no choice. Walked a round to a village above Intragna & then along the river valley
137
to Ponte Romana, built in 1578, where we were able to have a swim in the Melezza River (which runs along
the Centovalli) in clear, cool freshwater surrounded by giant rocks & the green slopes above. It was a slow
walk – John was dead tired because he hadn’t slept, caused by a dumb remark I’d made - & a quiet one, as
he didn’t want to talk to me. Got back about 5pm & treated ourselves to a beer & a rivella at the ritzy
pub/ristorante in the centre of town & had to remind ourselves that $A14 is easy to spend on drinks at
Southbank in Melbourne, too, & the backdrop isnt as good there. It was 28° today, so the swim was great.
It seems that most of the stone houses we see on the high slopes are holiday places, as are many of the
houses in Intragna, comparable to the Cinque Terre, though the tourist traffic is not as intense here. We
spotted a large moth (emperor gum size), a young deer, a donkey & a snake on our passegiata, & a nudist
in the river valley sunbaking on rocks near the spot where we had a dip. W rlso 8 thrmanrman vth
(capra) & th (asino) nth & & ·r mul – ntshur vth dffr . @ æ rf th w 8 th
(cinghiale) & th (pecorino) formaggio. Nth am @ Verscio ¤ r utfl gren ¤ hdnt n 4.
So much 4 nmlnml 4 2da. Ys da H woz so nsp¤rd ¤ th th@ ♀ ' th20 thngthng ♀ most l¤kt
rO ¤ lir: “20 Things I Love about Italy (not in any order). 1. Poppies – red, simple,
dramatic. 2. Traffic – vespas weaving in & out – parking: anywhere – red lights &
pedestrian crossings: negotiable. 3. Police – carabinieri carrying their black leather
gloves – polizia municipale with white belts & hats, always in 2s, 3s, 4s having a chat,
often with cigarette in hand, wearing plenty of bling (the men too) who rarely seem to
actually do anything. 4. Bus drivers – skillful, daring, expert spatial judgement
(especially through narrow streets in Old Towns & along the Amalfi Coast). 5. Soft
furnishings – towels, curtains, sheets, duvet covers – quality & variety +. 6. Tiles –
nobody tiles like an Italian, from bathrooms to marble paving to pebbles to fine mosaic.
7. Hardware – keys, locks, door handles, all beautiful, all functional. 8. Bidets – enough
said & great for washing your feet. 9. Rome – Caput Mundi still. 10. Piazzas. 11. Fontane,
including & especially nasoni. 12. gatti. 13. Frescoes. 14. Facades of Romanesque
churches. 15. 2 hour early afternoon close-down – revives & refreshes. 16. Mercati. 17.
Coffee, bread, cheese & porchetta. 18. Treni Regionali – comfortable, on time & cheap if
you go secondo classe (which is just as good as primo classe really, but minus the air-
conditioning). 19. Roman ruins & wall paintings. 20. Unpredictability – the adventure you
have is not the one you planned. Viva Italia!” ♀ rlso 4: “I’ll go home if you want me to”. =rn th
n¤t ¤ · th 3am, 5am, 6am, 7am & 8am & got^ x td & dmorl¤¤d. Tsignld r pr10 vr unt twn
us hd lrstd 6 wekwek. ¤ nt doo 0 rOt xpt ÷ nowon ¤m rlwarlwa n h¤nd ♀r so @ lst ¤
nt rkuzdv runn ♀r .
1/6/09. SF12.90 (€8.60) (Appenzeller bier (x2) + ) + SF26.40 (€17.60) (pro ÷
COOP mnmrkt (p l stashn) zuthr shopshop rklozd 4r rli== Oida) = €26.20. 10am – 7pm: wandering
the wegs – discovered a beautiful covered bridge built in 1778 (same year as the First Fleet turned up in
Botany Bay) whose overhead wooden beams were inscribed in elaborate Gothic script with quotations
from the Bible: the “Talking Bridge” (Die Sprechende Brücke); met 2 Swiss who had been in Australia, one
of whom gave us a map (ortsplan) of Herisau which we will find very useful tomorrow (we have increased
our nights here as the walks are so suited to our mutual capabilities). When leaving Herisau in the morning
we noticed a COOP service station which had a minimarket where fresh bread, fruit, cheese & salami were
available open till 11pm, so we decided that was the spot to buy our supplies for tea after the walk. The
very nice man who gave us the map was emphatic however that there was another service station market
closer to us, near the bahnhof (railway station) so we detoured there only to find they had no bread & had
to go back to the one we saw this morning, adding about an hour to the end of the walk! We have been
seeing the wander weg signs to Egg, all over the place, & were puzzled because it seemed to be shifting
about, but we never came across it – I said to John that we couldn’t find Egg & the yolk was on us, but the
map showed that Egg must mean a particular land feature as many village names end in it e.g. Windegg,
Wachtenegg, Hinteregg, & it seems also to describe larger areas or regions e.g. Ruessegg, Moosegg,
Nunegg. We havent cracked the code yet. There is also a suburb of Herisau called Egg, along the
Eggstrasse. Wandering along the wegs made me think of The Shire in Middle Earth, where “Roads go ever
ever on,/Over rock and under tree,/By caves where never sun has shone,/By streams that never find the sea;/Over snow by winter
sown,/And through the merry flowers of June,Over grass and over stone,/And under mountains of the moon./Roads go ever ever
on/Under cloud and under star,/Yet feet that wandering have gone/Turn at last to home afar./Eyes that fire and sword have seen/And
horror in the halls of stone/Look at last on meadows green/And trees and hills they long have known.” Perhaps Tolkien had
Switzerland in mind when he created the Shire with its green countryside (12/9/09. No - ♂ woz wn vNZ)
& peace-loving industrious Hobbits. We stopped at Hundwil about 2pm for a short rest & a drink in the pub
there – in another snug, low-ceilinged room looking out to green fields & hills where the bar-maid
obligingly steamed off the lovely label from John’s Appenzeller bier bottle so he could paste it in the
journal.
138
8/6/09 (jer·i09°ri p♪♫). €1.86 ( rnrnr rnrnr (11/9/09. m¤ l8st spln z: rnrnrr)
(x2); Paulaner Hefe - Weiß ·-Dunkel – 4 2n¤t - tz r pr~ulrli good ) +€12.20 (æ & Rivella &
Weiß ·@ Alpengasthof Gais Alpe) + €16.50 (æ pm: soop, & & dunkel Weiß ·, & ~)
+ €1.30 (swet pas ) = €32. We had the most spectacular walk we’ve had to date, to Gais Alpe
(1149m/asl) through pine, fir & evergreen forest interspersed with small clearings where cows grazed. The
view at Gais Alpe was spectacular, looking up at the Rubihorn (1957m/asl) & the Geissalphorn (1953m/asl)
& seeing a waterfall coming over a high ridge & dropping hundreds of feet down the mountainside. On the
way back we descended steeply through deciduous forest where the ground was carpeted with autumn
leaves while the trees were shimmering green. We returned to Oberstdorf via the small village of Rubi,
taking in the high alps clearly visible in the afternoon sunshine & walked along the Trettach River in green
forest for a while. We wanted to be back at our accomodation at 6pm in time to see the cows come home
so John could take photos. It is fascinating that the cows live in town & come home in the evening along
streets with cars & tourists, plodding along to the steady chime of their bells, turning in at the correct
corner & making their slow way to the barn door. There are 8 of them in the herd. It explains the really
strong cow smell in our WC/bathroom across the landing – it’s built right over the barn! We ate like kings
today – at the Alpengasthof Gaisalpe we shared bratwurst, sauerkraut & roast potatoes & tonight at the
internet café/restaurant we shared soup, & a pork medallion with a variety of mushrooms, salad & chips.
We struggle with the menus as we have no German but Guten Morgen, Danke, & Schwien. Few people
here speak English: most tourists are Germans, though we met a Sydneysider today who lives in Frankfurt,
married to a German girl & who has played rugby in Litho! We met him while assorted samaritans were
attempting to rescue a fledgling finch which had fallen out of its nest in a tree in the centre of the town.
Guess which birdman finally got it back safely into the tree. Here is some info about Oberstdorf from
signage on the walk. Hone your German skills: “ Oberstdorf (Geschichte) ¶ Die ersten (alemannischen)
Siedler sind im 6./7. Jht. Nach Chr. bis in den Oberstdorfer Talkessel vordedrungen. Im Jahre 1059 wird dem
Bischof von Augsburg der Wildbann (Forst-und Jagdrecht) über das südliche Oberallgäu verliehen. Die
erste urkundliche Erwähnung von Oberstdorf findet sich erst aus dem Jahre 1141 als Weiheinschrift an
der Pfarrkirche. Das Dorf dürfte aber schon weit vorher aus mehreren Einzelsiedlungen
zusammengewaschsen sein. Bis 1351 hat das Geschlecht der Rettenberger Besitz und Herrschaftsrechte in
Oberstdorf. Sie gehen dann über an die Herren von Heimenhofen, deren Wappen heute das
Gemeindewappen darstellt. 1440 und 1477 erwirbt das Bistum Augsburg wiederum Besitz und Rechte und
gliedert sie der “Pflege Rettenberg” (Gebiete des Oberallgäus rechts der iller) ein. 1495 verleiht Kaiser
Macimilian Oberstdorf das Marktrecht. Der 30-jährige Krieg (1618-1648) kostet durch Pest und
Schwedeneinfälle fast die Hälfe der Bevölkerung das Leben. ¶ 1803 fällt die “Pflege Rettenberg” ans
Königreich Bayern, und Oberstdorf wird dadurch bayerisch. 1865 vernichtet ein verheerender Großbrand
die Hälfte aller Anwesen, winschließlich der Kirche. Seit Mitte des 19. Jhts. Entwickelt sich der
Fremenverkehr. Heute hat Oberstdorf etwa 9500 Einwohner und ist der bedeutendste Fremdenverkehrsort
Bayerns.”
15/6 /09 . €20 (7~t~t Füssen ¬ Garmisch) + €30 ( ~t~t Garmisch ¬ Innsbruck:
tt ^n nGarmisch so wv ds¤° 2 ¬2 ¬r gO) + €0.50 (4r krap @th Garmisch hof) + €104 (4 2 n
¤tn¤t & @ Matha Wilhelemine, Kapuzinergasse 5, w.matha@chello.at ;
www.tiscover.at/matha ; Innsbruck) + €5.45 (sprmrkt stuff ÷ HoferAKAAldi) + €6 (hefe weiß
· (0.5l l ) & t wth zi on @ br ¤ th Inn rvr flon hrd wth nth bakgO) + €17.50 (æ
pm nth old@ vInnsbruck) = €183.45. Up at 7am to be in time to catch the 8.05 bus to Garmisch (one
change required) where the slight drizzle & overcast conditions stymied our plan to take the cable car to
the summit of the Zugspitze, Germany’s highest mountain (2,962m). The weather forecast was for
uncertain conditions for tomorrow as well so we trained it to Innsbruck (past Seefeld (see Saturday
9/6/07)) where it was fine & warm. Got cheap accomodation through the Info centre just outside the Old
Town. By this time it was about 3pm so we did a prepatory exploration of the centre, had a drink in an
outdoor pub by the Inn (fast flowing in steep banks) & shared our last schweinhaxe in a restaurant at a
table in the street, watching the passing parade. We are now both sated with the haxe & want to try
something new, though this one came with grated horse-radish salad & various bits of greenery on a
wooden board, a la Vienna (see 25/6/07 ). Innsbruck old town is very picturesque with many intricately
decorated houses, some dating from the 1400s. As with all old towns it is heavily laced with tourists but
being a university town there is also a strong student presence. The green starts almost immediately
beyond the built-up area & there are villages higher up the valley walls making an upper storey to the city.
Th ovre10 ys d evnn ¤ thlak kn utd 2r rstls n¤t. Nth most vvd drm ¤ woz 1v rgrup vm
pr♀/♂n 2komit sui°. T mt m (11/9/09. nu spln: t mm) ¤ hd sum k¤ndv +v¤zri rol z¤ woz rershurn
m th@ twoz OK a la thjapnee praktt, Primo Levi, etc. So twoz vri m arsn wn th da 4 thevnt ¤
CHANGED MY MIND. Th xus ¤ woz givn m nth drm woz th@ f¤ °d m¤slf & twozth x dszhn ¤
woodnt a 2 ~t t ft woz th x dszhn n2 ° mslf ¤ kood ~t l8r. Nth drm t md 2mi th@ m¤ rezonn
woz vri sgnfk & th@ ¤ shood ¤2 rmm rt wn ¤ wok^. n< rwak now ¤ rmm rd how dsr
·d ¤ hd n wn ¤ hd kum ´ Blaise Pascal mploin rsmlr vrezonn 2 rgu th@t mad snn 2
139
n GOD thn no2 koz wthowt GOD thK wood hor & u koodnt shor ♂ dd xst so u m¤tzwl
♂ xstxst evn tho u koodnt shur ♂ dd/dd just nkas ♂ dd. Pascal (“f ZZ d nr GOD
tha wood w ♂woz 3 s¤°” (23/8/09. rÆlv dada rgo ovr æ LfOrVaEnCkE woz x4n 2mi th@
Pascal 4 thrr 3 rlmm vm xst wr ech rlm z n 2 th1 ¬t: 1. m@eril K (Kv prnsprns) 2. thK v
w (s¤nss¤ns, flosrfi, theolji) & 3. thrlm vth w. Ths skmr gvz F k rlotv s@sfkshn z♂ ♂ livliv
nth ^st ordr)), evr thmathm@shn, figrd th odod wr nyor favr fu wrr r! ¤ woz s jktd2 smlr
vdsreput rgu··tashn ¤ th JESUITJESUIT wn ¤ wozr skool oi @ P@ricks Colj n ¬E Melb.
(spshli th rgu··t ¤ dz¤n vThomas Aquinas). t r it mor tosn&n n< rm¤n° mi th@th
BUDDHA hd dsrproovdv ritshul t hd eptdt zr nevt prtv thm knæn. Nthsamwa tma th@ m
dm& & ned2hv thee sli xplnashnxplnashn & fu dont prv¤dm sum1ll wl orthal prv¤d thr own evn slir
11. Thrthr no shortj vgood tchrr (prstprst, guruguru, ra ¤¤, mullahmullah) 2 giv reznn 4 y u shood
w & doo ths/th@ - ¤m glad ¤m nt rmung thm: tz 1 jo ¤ wood 1t 4orl thK!
22/6 /09 ( r 09°ri p♪♫). €6 ( ·& ÷ ys d: nr br n·alt@ rf w fald 2 f¤nd
thkirche wth thfre Bach KOnsrt (27/8/09. it was Handel!) @ 8.30pm) + €1 (~· 4 1owr ¬÷ Pension
Jahn – snt Monday ¬ ah_zeitgeist@hotmail.com ) + €2.40 (pzr sl¤¤sl¤¤ t nth su er su
er ) + €0.50 (H ne° 2 ^ ro·sk worl pan1010 v1150AD @th Stiftskirche Nonnberg) + ….
Tookowt €300 ech ÷ Volksbank nSalzburg alt@ …. €5.60 ( ·& t mit zitron n alt@) + €16.50
(sprmrkt supl¤¤ 4 æpm & drinkdrink) = €32. We walked around in a relaxed way in grey cold weather,
relieved that it wasn’t raining. Inquired at the Hofbahnhaus info centre about the weather forecast – its not
taking a turn for the better until Thursday & all of Austria & North Italy are affected. That puts paid to our
plans for Berchtesgaden & the Eagle’s Nest, so we spent some time figuring out where to go next. We’ve
decided to spend 1 or 2 nights in some of the towns along the Austrian “Romantic Road” (a map of which
we got from the info centre) from Salzburg to Vienna, where we are due to arrive on July 5
th
. Füssen was
one end of a “Romantic Road” in Germany with Wurzburg at the other. Having sorted that we were free to
concentrate on a walk out into the suburbs (just like Melbourne, with Turks replacing the Chinese as the
small business owners), back onto the Mönchsberg, past the castle, down to the Nonntal district, back up
to the stift Nonnberg, a Benedictine convent with its 15
th
century church built on Romanesque foundations
(there are frescoes dating to 1150) & then into the Old Town, where it began to rain & where we ducked
into a pub to avoid it. We ate a hot pork roll from the Billa supermarket, followed by a salad bowl each,
also from the supermarket. Things to know about Salzburg: 1. its often raining in summer when the
weather is at its most unreliable 2. the Old Town gains its fame from being Mozart’s birthplace & from
being a UNESCO World Heritage Area 3. it’s very expensive in the Old Town because of 4. hordes of
tourists, as bad as in Cinque Terre 5. the Old Town is not nearly as pretty as Innsbruck or St. Gallen 6. it’s
harder to walk into the rural areas around it & 7. John hated it. The Pension Jahn by the way has a
predominantly Chinese clientele & is flying these flags over the front door: American, Taiwanese, E.U., &
Australian.
29/6 /09. €132 ( & 4 3n¤tn¤t @ vri xl zimmer @ 108 Malerweg, Hallstatt) +
€8.20 (7~t~t Hallstatt ¬ Bad Ischl) + €11.60 ( ~t~t Bad Ischl ¬ Gmunden) + €5 (slfservv
~· - Michaelz ÷n hosptl) + €13.38 (sprmrkt pr 4 2 n¤tn¤t æpm) + €108 (4 2 n¤tn¤t @ Hotel
Austria am See nth rprt··tv Roman und Helga Toplak pad ÷ HH VISA hoo woz onmi €86 so
now ¤ o ♀r €18) = €274. We are in a double room with ensuite on the first floor of the Grand Hotel
Austria am See, & very grand it is too – sweeping staircases, crystal chandeliers, a library (!), the Franz
Josef Bar which has been transformed into a little kitchen/eating area & elegant palms in pots. Here is its
history from the Gasteinformation book on the writing table: “The proprietor of the Gmunden steamship
line, Joseph John Ruston, sold his piece of land in March of 1873 to the Osterreich Baugesellschaft fur
Curorte (The Austrian Building Society for Health Resorts) which shortly afterwards started building. ¶ The
opening of the Grand Hotel Austria took place on July 16
th
of 1874. For the festivities the 48-man brass
band of the infantry regiment “Grossherzog von Hessen” from Linz under conductor Melar was playing.
Leaseholder at the time was a Mister Mayer. ¶ On the same day some shops were opened in the building.
So a watchmaker, a cobbler, a florist , an optician and a barber-shop. ¶ In 1879 the hotel, as was published
in the Gmunden Weekly, proudly presented 135 guest rooms, a number of salons and drawing-rooms, a
passenger-lift, brine and fir needle baths and several big dining rooms. ¶ Abridgement from the guest-lists
(“Gmunden Curlisten”): 1878 Crown Prince Rudolf 1879 Archduke Ludwig Viktor, brother of Emperor Franz
Josef I 1882 Crown-Prince Constantin of Greece, Crown-Princess Alexandra of Greece 1889 Archduke Franz
Ferdinand of Austria 1904 Archduke Franz Salvator.” Though the fabric of the hotel is unchanged it seems
now to be owned by a variety of people among whom Roman & Helga Toplak number – they have an entire
suite of rooms (3 singles, 3 doubles, + the Franz Josef Bar kitchen & dining area & the library) which they
rent out to guests. When we arrived at the info office in Schubert Platz & asked for cheap accomodation
we didn’t expect to be directed to a 4-eidelweiss standard room, especially not at €54/room/night,
breakfast not included (we’ll “go Italian” with coffee & brioche). We didn’t even bring our tiara or tails.
140
Gmunden (422m/asl) is a town of about 13000 with an economic history based on the salt trade & the
production of ceramics. It is very relaxed & beautifully situated where the Traun river exits the Traunsee.
The medieval old town is small but lovely, with some impressive old buildings. The foreshore is well
developed with promenades & eating places, there is a supermarket about 50 metres away & mountain
scenery all around. There seem to be few tourists, although stats from the info office say that there are 1.4
million day visitors per year, 40,000 arrivals per year with an average stay of 2.4 days, & 64% of visitors
are Austrian nationals. They are keeping it a secret (11/9/09. !?)as it has much to offer – heaps of walks,
much better weather than Hallstatt, & a roomier feel. We found an internet point (self-service at €4/hour) –
John checked www.collingwoodfc.com & his email contained a note from Aiste who is trying to organize a
meeting of the 3 remaining Zizys cousins – John (son of Vytautas), Juozas (son of Juozas) & Jouzas’ brother
who lives in Bielorus but is visiting Lithuania while John will be there. A note from Joe told that Michael is
back in hospital.
6/7/09. The final day of our joint trip started well with a big buffet breakfast at Hotel Post &
then a trip to the Shakespeare & Company Booksellers 1010 Vienna, Sterngasse 2. Tel. (01)5355053.
www.shakespeare.co.at ; booksellers@shakespeare.co.at where John bought “Chess” by Stefan Zweig & I
got a 2
nd
-hand copy of “The Case has Altered” by Martha Grimes to read on our respective flights to Vilnius
& Melbourne. It went pear-shaped in a big way after that. John had taken a photo of me in the shop next to
a manniquin used for publicity & when we left the shop we stopped a short way away so I could see it on
the camera display screen. We then discovered that John’s wallet was missing, containing his VISA & key
cards & the joint trip money – about €600 in cash. It had either been left in the shop or it had dropped out
of his shoulder bag when he pulled out his cap and/or the camera. We raced back to the shop but couldn’t
find it on the floor or under any books on the counter, did a thorough search (at least 3 times) of his bag
(where an interior lining had been adrift for the later stages of the trip) & of his shorts’ pockets, retraced
our path from the shop all to no avail. We headed back to the hotel where John had the travel documents
which included a photocopy of each of his cards & the bank contact numbers to call in case of theft/loss.
We had to go to the Post Office across the road to use the telephone as the hotel phones don’t allow
reverse-charge calls & he got through to the bank representative (in Newcastle, NSW) who cancelled his
cards, assured him that no withdrawals had been made today, initiated new cards for him (up to 28 days
processing (11/9/09. f2 r¤v nLT)) & advised that the easiest way for him to deal with money availability
on his Litho trip was to use my key card & PIN (using my VISA card to withdraw money entails a hefty fee).
We then headed to the police station to report the loss so we could prove it to the Travel Insurance
company but because it had been lost & not stolen, had to go to the Magistrate’s Office to get a form
verifying the event where we spent a good hour waiting, in vain as it turned out as when we got back to
the hotel I checked our insurance plan & it doesn’t cover cash losses. We went to a bankomat & withdrew
€400 using my card so we had money for today’s eating & drinking & will withdraw more tomorrow so John
has money for the first 2 days in Litho. We then set off, subdued, to Café Griensteidl to drown our sorrows
in coffee but John was rattled & disoriented so we walked for a while not really getting anywhere, when a
massive thunderstorm dumped heaps of rain. We sheltered in a doorway of the Bank of Austria till it eased
& then found the café. We have organized our finances like this: John has my key card to use in Litho. I
have access to our joint-account via cheque-book & will withdraw enough money on Friday 10
th
July to put
in my account to stop it from running short. I’ll get extra cash for my living expenses via cheque until he
returns to Melbourne in early August. By then he will have his new cards & will repay what he owes, & I’ll
pay what I owe back to the joint account. Its been a shitty day to end the trip, but accidents happen & it
wasn’t life threatening, so we should be grateful. P.S. John owed me €18 after our last accomodation was
paid, so we withdrew €20 for me to use at Vienna airport/Dubai airport if necessary. He’s also given me
$A50 so I have sufficient oz money to cover any costs getting from Tullamarine to West Melbourne. Here is
what’s written on one of the bookmarks I got from Shakespeare & Company – it gladdens my librarian’s
heart: “Let yourself be found by a book. ¶ Without books, history is silent, literature dumb, science crippled, thought and
speculation at a standstill. Without books, the development of civilization would have been impossible. They are engines of change,
windows on the world, “lighthouses” (as a poet said) “erected in the sea of time”. They are companions, teachers, magicians, bankers
of the treasures of the mind. Books are humanity in print. [Barbara Tuchman].” (11/9/09. ¤ srspkt th@ Confronting
Mephistopheles n lorncht 17/10/09 @ $25 rpop ¤ SdPeInTnErRsI ma s ugl 2lv^2
thee ^ ¤dll. (12/9/09. Here’s Dr Johnson’s comment on writers: “The task of an author is, either to
teach what is not known, or to recommend known truths by his manner of adorning
them; either to let new light in upon the mind, and open new scenes to the prospect, or
to vary the dress and situation of common objects, so as to give them fresh grace and
more powerful attractions, to spread such flowers over the regions through which the
intellect has already made its progress, as may tempt it to return, and take a second
view of things hastily passed over, or negligently regarded. ¶ Either of these labours is
very difficult, because that they may not be fruitless, men must not only be persuaded
of their errors, but reconciled to their guide; they must not only confess their ignorance,
but, what is still less pleasing, must allow that he from whom they are to learn is more
knowing than themselves.” – The Rambler, 1750)) & tz n ^n rgan 4 thlrst owr. ¤ rdv¤¤ m
141
¤ (m¤ mum rknrkn nn e¯ ♀♀ fnsht Wednesday && wa10 4 rhrd kopv Thursday) no2 2
ndrst& thrknnv muchul r n10r n10 twn H & me - t nt don.
13/7 /09 ( p 3). Aistė & Mečys led l¤vl¤v litlaninn kood onli drmv & thn onli
ftha hd n 2 thW÷ or n rmerikn TV. Tha xmplf¤ th vri st uuj vth oprtuntt rmodrn ekonmi hz2 ofr.
Thar r sukss stori. Tha r oth 30+, yung pro nll werkn n·jril pozishnn 4 multnashnl coco. Aistė zth
mrk10 ·jr 4 USvA frmrsu~l co Pfizer 4 th ~ st88 (LT, LTV & STONIR) & 4 LORUS. Mečys zth
drek v C Gates (op~l ka ) rsu jri vth SWEæ tlrkmunkashn co Tele 2. Thar ÷th jn
shn skord thmost mport pozishnn nthee 4n coco wn yung qolrf¤d m wr nkr~l short supl¤. ¤
♪s wth or how t¤d, wl pl&, wl orgn¤d thar. Thr @10shn 2dtal & 4wrd plann zsuprf . Thar ch·fl,
+v, nerj~ (tha sho no vd vl¤ff ) - & rich! Thav n fr morv thK thn ¤ kood evrhv.
MečysMečys ho v ·n zx¬¬v (♂♂ m shn z2 hv kl¤md th5 ovr 7000 m m
÷th 4mr - ♂♂ orlred kl¤md LENINIZMO , & KORZHENEVSKAYA wl (hopfli) no2.
♂♂ fald @n erlir @mt @th ^st - IZMAIL SAMONI ). oth Aistė & Mečys modstli @ri ut thair
sukssuks 2th good 4♪♫ v n nth jo mrkt @th ~ . Tha hv0 chldrn (n10d2) & hv n ♀/♂ 4 16y··.
¤m nth µ ¤ m¤slf wa10 4 Andrius Kaspariunas 2 ^ @ 11.30 4 th . Go2gt red …. Sum wa
prst VILNIUS (O 20kk owt) t kam o vius m¤ t woz mpos & xpri 4mi tz thndv th p fugt
ruzn nthBUM. Got nold st¤l sprnge t 4 15lt nŠIRVINTOS (w O 60kk) &t fll OK t th♂
slnt 4 tm¤t 4l rprt. ¤ ' thee ♪♫ nr kafe wrwv t rroom 4 80lt (40x2) t wth no æam. ¤ hd2hagl
2gtt+ ÷ 120lt. ¤v just æ pot8opankakpankak wth met nm & Andrius hd ¬ 11 @ ½ thpr¤¤ (9.30lt
& 4.80lt) - wosht+ wth ·. 8pm & 2 ¬ - thrz rlak h·& rMAXIMA sprmrkt & ¤ rmm d 2pop mi
plpl.
20/7 /09. Wth thhlpv 5mlml vVALIUM ¤ f¤nrli got rgood n¤tn¤t slep. Tz ^n & onth
dale wthr rport &drius getget nth · ÷ ♂♂ reloo nVILNIUS th4 st z4 ^ thnt¤r wek. ¬W Audrius
& th n p zstl on. Nt kl·f♂ n10dd 4us 2 rwa 3, 4, or 5 dada – sumwr nth lak ds kt thuthr s¤
dv MOLĖTUS. W ^ @ ♂♂ plas onth @ mida, lev th thr, & pikm^ wnw get÷. Onthwa ¬
MOLĖTUS wl ¤ chep slepn ag ag & rol m@@. W Aistė 2 rsk ♀r 2 e¯ H wthth l8st nfo (& w)
re m¤ hlth & owr planplan zth lokl (@ LYDUOKIAI wr ¤ @10° thATLAIDAI ys d) ~· hz n ®+
2gthr wth uthr vlrj l¤ ree zth guvr··t nt pa thwajj vth *f. Tz vius 2mi LT z ankrupt –
DEVALUASHN zn thair. Got 2¬ & pak 4 thx æn (rf r tv æam 1
st
)….. Twoz r tas~ p (¤
m '^ thee ♪♫ on ☼d 26/7/09 (11/9/09. ¤ ddt thswa koz ovr thnxt fu daa ¤ ' r da ¤da r nt
vth p re ospktvli)) - dd tl ys d rvo. Nth wth Audrius, Andrius & me wr 3vAudriaus
kidkid: Leonora (r rev8t Levutė) 11, Rapolas (wo gr8 nam!) 7, Konstansija (Kastė) 5 – hoo 4 &
havv l¤k r. W joind^ wthth rst nr nk E nth shorv lak LUODIS n·thvlrj vSALAKAS (hz r
(sakalas (SALAKAS splt )) nth krst) O 40kk ÷ thl@vn dr nth NE vLT. Thfflo ÷ LUODIS zth *tv
1v LTT majr rvrr thŠVENTOJI ( 26/7/04 ) orlso floo thru UKMERGĖ ( Thursday 22/6/06)
13kk ÷ wr ¤m ' thee ♪♫ now in RIMEISIAI @th µ v Vaidas & Brigita. @th Tadas Žebrauskas
(ztadasz@gmail.com) mad nmed8 mprshn: ♂ woz æ eree (amelankės) ÷r smorl nth ;
♂♂ orlwaa n & orlmost nakd (xpt4 skmp unk unk) & vre ☼t&; ♂ lkchrr nth
rktkchr skool nKAUNAS; ¤ promst 2 e¯ rkopv Monday ¬ ♂m. Sum1 dowt r♂ vm¤ aj hoo gett^
@ ☼^ & duz r3-5k evre mornn: Arvydas Virbalis (arvydas.virbalis@etu.lt) (Vaidas just pooldowt m
¤ 3
rd
~ ¤ dskvrd wn ¤ wnt 4r SHIT.) profsr vlk kl njn·n nKAUNAS (♂♂ ☼ Adomas, n lk
onikk stud woz rlso 1v thprt); ¤ promst 2 e¯ rkopv Tuesday ¬ ♂m. Th@ 1
st
n¤t ¤ froo:
throlm@ Brigita gavmi dd ® thCOLD JgO & th ankt (¤dd ¤ rslepn ag) ♀ lntmi woz nsu
.
27/7/09 . Gintas W erli nth mornn. ♂l h· 2moro. ¤v just fnsht th p (Monday
20/7/09 – Saturday 25/7/09) ♪♫. W ¬2 UKMERGĖ 4 supl¤¤ & 8 æ …. Q, X, W, H r 4 dn l
rr nLT so ¤m gon 2uum rlot. Orlso, rf m¤ xpri wth d kd k on s@rd n¤t ( Saturday
25/7/09) ¤m konfermd nm¤ dsizhn 2 rman dr¤ MELBOURNE (11/9/09. t ¤v CHANGED m¤
w rgan: ¤m NOT ON THE WAGON t tz wn h·& ¤ hvnt flt l¤k rdrnk)… rys pro mm wr n
142
n d ¤ Vaidas & kl+n throof nth nu µ t now @ 6.45pm thar makn good progrprogr. Brigita
zpr♀/♂n æ 4 th3vrr. ♀♀ lost ♀r ni10 nedl … shavd - ma 4 thlrst nth p: ¤m 2wekwek ÷µ.
3/8/09. Spnt tharvo (12 ¬ 4.30) 4n 2 Rasa Kabailaite npu &kafé. Donthv much 4
Rimas Jonaitis mi^ @ 5.30 2takmi ¬ ♂♂ plas so ¤ hv onle rfu mnutmnut 2 poo10 sum♪♫ 4
2da. Nth mornn fowndr vre st j derlkt ldn ¤ w m¤t th rmanrman v1v th100rso
SINRGOGGOG uu2 n prwr VILNIUS. Thprz 1 n· wr ¤m ' zth onle rmann1. tt  2 th
rmanrman vr PIRTI (komunl SAUNA) 10 zrst dada – nth 189090. Tmad mi wv thCARACELLA ath
ath nROMA. madmi w O thorjnn vth lrj komunl ath ath/SAUNASAUNA nprz da
MOSCOW no dowt t thr orjnn ÷2 pre zrst . Ma (¤ w) th ¤ kam ÷ BYZANTIUM
(wr orthodox ´ kam ÷) nth 10
th
100. Thn ¤ ♪d th dn zn Paneriu gv (Ponar st) & thstashn ÷ th=
= (÷th VILNIUS getoo) wr d ¬ Ponar stashn nth wr tha wr zjust n· ¤. Evrthn
zkonektd ¤ w & thn ¤ rmm rd thBorges story Zohar O ths nolj. Thn ¤ w vLfOrVaEnCkE
(11/9/09. hd æ 2gthr 2da) hoo nu sum1 hoo 4 O KON D KON D th@ 11 u *t n m u
mor&mor vm &t getget danjrus. Thn ¤ wv Elena Karazijiene (13/9/09. ss vVytautas Landsbergis
(4mr przd v prlm & prz mm r vEU prlm )) (♀r ♀/♂ r onord jnt¤ll) @ ♣µ
nErrol st, ^N MELBOURNE hoo kn rmm r wn ♀ woz n VILNIUS ¤ th@ tha prst rnuthr
®t @r s¤dn @ Ponar stashn & ♀ wr == wr n rnlo° ¤ th 2 nth Ponar .
Sum m kn dsta ¤¤d ¤ such nolj. m want thskurit v s chrr, framm, , dfnshnn (wthowt
s¤nn zmpos ), rljnn. ¤ lvn r swerln vkonekshnn – DONT FOLLOW IN MY .
10/8 /09. WIEN ¬prt 1.10pm, wa10 4 Emi ¬ EK 128, Ekonmi, Dprt 1530 R¤v
DUBAI 2255, Boeing 777-300ER, jrne 5owrr 25 mnutt, æ, G8 AO6, dn 1430, t 18H. t
The Guardian Weekly 17 August 2009.
143


144