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PRECEPTS FOR LIFE
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SERIES: A Marriage Without Regrets TITLE: Program 39 – My Mate Has Committed Adultery. How Can I Forgive? THURSDAY (11/21/13) OPEN Your mate has committed adultery!! And in the midst of that discovery, there’s a pleading, “Please forgive me. I don’t know what got into me. I don’t know why I did it. I don’t know what possessed me. All I know is I don’t want you to leave and I don’t want a divorce. I am so sorry for what I have done.” Where do you go then? PART ONE If that person is saying that they don’t want divorce, then the best thing is to heal that schism. The best thing is to allow that marriage to be healed. Now I’m not talking about someone that says, “I didn’t do anything wrong. There’s nothing wrong with it. I’m sorry, I don’t love you anymore.” That’s a different case. That’s a different scenario. And we dealt with that. But what do you do if they say, “I want to stay with you. Will you forgive me?” The minute they ask you to forgive them, you may be thinking, then
Return to Me.” So when you forgive.” So in this forgiveness. “‘Only acknowledge your iniquity. even though there is an anger.’ declares the Lord.” In other words. “I have sinned against you. that you have transgressed against the Lord your God. I have broken our trust. chapter 3. chapter 4.’ declares the Lord.’ declares the Lord. You have scattered your favors to the strangers under every green tree. You may be thinking. Israel. But He says. “Go. And the anger is more directed at the violation than the violator. Come back to Me. I do want you to acknowledge your iniquity. “‘I will not look on you in anger. That anger is a righteous anger. It’s understandable. ‘Return.A MARRAGE WITHOUT REGRETS PROGRAM 39 (#910169) WEEK 8 (910336) 2010 PRECEPT MINISTRIES INTERNATIONAL everything’s going to be the same.’” Come back to Me. ‘I will not be angry forever. There is an anger and it is a natural emotion. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath. It is directed towards the violator. I will not be angry forever. you’ve had these lovers and “‘…you have not obeyed My voice. He says. faithless Israel. And let me show you how God talks to His faithless wife. Well listen to me carefully.” Deal with that anger. That’s okay. everything will not necessarily be the same once you forgive. Now He goes on to say. There should be an anger towards anything that hurts and wounds and is unjust and breaks God’s commandments. Now you’re saying no. You are never more like God than when you forgive. and proclaim these words towards the north and say. ‘I will not look on you in anger. this is what the wounder is to do. I have done what is wrong and I am asking you to forgive me. that’s okay. that person that’s about to be forgiven needs to say to you. faithless Israel. I do want you to acknowledge the fact that you have transgressed against Me. I have violated you. And you need to hear it clearly. but there is one thing I want you to do. You need to hear it and look 2 . you can forgive. No. But. And there should be an anger toward sin.’” Now there is an anger. Well. It’s natural. I don’t know how I can forgive. “I will not be angry forever. Let me take you to Jeremiah. I am so angry.” So He’s saying “Return. He says in verse 12. “Be angry and do not sin. the Bible says in Ephesians. For I am gracious.” And so there needs to be that statement.
So your mate needs to say to you. multiplied adultery because idolatry and adultery are one in the same to God. when you start to think about this whole thing. I mean. “I am sorry. I’m going to forgive you and I’m going to establish an everlasting covenant with you. completely forgiven for my adultery before I became a child of God. because the minute that they worship an idol.’ the Lord declares. I’m not going to commit adultery again. I am establishing an everlasting covenant with you.” And listen.” And then God says in verse 62. I know I’m absolutely forgiven every time that I sin and I ask God to forgive me.A MARRAGE WITHOUT REGRETS PROGRAM 39 (#910169) WEEK 8 (910336) 2010 PRECEPT MINISTRIES INTERNATIONAL at them and look at their face and put it in your mind. in order that you may remember and be ashamed. But I want you to remember and I want you to be ashamed. then God says that that is spiritual adultery. So they’ve gone from one to another to another to another. and I will establish an everlasting covenant with you.” And God is saying. “I’m promising you before God. “I’m going to forgive you. I remember our covenant. I will forgive you. it hasn’t been one other lover or two other lovers.’” I remember what you did. He says in verse 59. and never open your mouth anymore because of your humiliation. They have multiplied their harlotries and still God forgives. that she has spread her legs and that is scripture.” So God is saying. so that in the future. “‘I also will do with you as you have done. “Return. He’s talking about the fact that she has played the harlot with every stranger that came by. You remember that time when your husband or your wife turned and looked at you and said. with God. you remember that moment. he’s talking about her wickedness. to every passer-by. when I have forgiven you for all that you have done. we should be ashamed of our sin. because in Ezekiel 16.” So God says. you who have despised the oath by breaking [My] covenant. totally. and you shall know that I am the Lord. “‘Thus I will establish My covenant with you. Nevertheless. I will remember My covenant with you in the days of your youth. I know that I am absolutely. It has been multiplied idolatry. I 3 . And listen to what He says. And I want you to know. chapter 16. nevertheless. Now look at Ezekiel.
standing at the foot of that cross. for they know not what they do. then I promise you. this is what he says in verse 31. and Mary Magdalene and the disciples. What do you need to know about forgiving? What do you need to understand? Well. All right.” He not only died for Mary. not only to us and not only to the one that we’ve been immoral with. for they know not what they do.” So they railed at Him. “Father forgive them. as we talk about forgiveness. but to our mate and to our children and to our society and to our land. forgive them. forgiving each other. They have asked for forgiveness. His mother. just as God in Christ has also forgiven you. but He died for those that railed against Him. Listen. If God’s pleased with You. where do you go from there? I want you to go to Ephesians. You say. we 4 . You do it “…just as God in Christ Jesus has forgiven you.A MARRAGE WITHOUT REGRETS PROGRAM 39 (#910169) WEEK 8 (910336) 2010 PRECEPT MINISTRIES INTERNATIONAL know that I’m forgiven. “Father. And I am ashamed of the way that I’ve lived. “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you.” If we really understood the awfulness of adultery. it’s good to be ashamed for sin because it shows that you have the right attitude. tender-hearted. chapter 4. if we really could get a view from heaven of what it does. chapter 4. Ha. for they know not what they do. chapter 4. And what does Jesus say to the Father? “Father.” Now let’s stop there for a minute and just say this. Underline it in verse 32. we would have God’s perspective on it. In Ephesians. along with all malice. You’re the Son of God. And be kind to one another. let’s look at it. your mate has come to you. of Ephesians. Ephesians. “Aha. now. And they were like the bulls of Bashan around a prey. He said. Get Yourself down off that cross. there is a shame that goes with my sin. He died for Judas that betrayed Him.” Remember when Jesus was hanging on the cross? And remember that these men were standing below Him and they were saying. if we really understood the ramifications of immorality. why does He have You on the cross? Let Him bring You down. When He said. forgive them. All right. You came to save others.” we would know if we had known what we were doing. Save Yourself. But I want to tell you.
And you’re going to give an account for the deeds that you. God never mentions them again. It means.” And listen very carefully. You know. as a Christian. And it is a sacrifice. if you don’t forgive. And they are going to live in that situation. than when you are willing to forgive. you are going to regret it someday because even if you’re a believer and you stand before Jesus Christ. remembering the past. did in your body. He removes them as far as the east is from the west.A MARRAGE WITHOUT REGRETS PROGRAM 39 (#910169) WEEK 8 (910336) 2010 PRECEPT MINISTRIES INTERNATIONAL never would have done it. your wounds. He puts them behind His back. This may be all new to you. even that mate that is going to go off and live with the one that they just had an affair with or shack up with them and then a little while later. So you have to do it as Christ did it. your evaluation. Listen carefully. But I 5 . chapter 6. in Matthew. verse 10 says. That is refusing to do what God says. because they did not receive Jesus Christ. you’re going to stand at the judgment seat of Christ. your bitterness. And you are never more like God. that mate is going to stand before a holy God and he or she is going to give an answer for the deeds done in their body and they are then going to hear. If you’ve ever been to church and you may never have been to church. as God in Christ Jesus has forgiven you. it’s putting your emotions. they’re going to hear. chapter 5. once our sins are forgiven. “We must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ. “God. move on to another person. “Depart from Me into everlasting fire. 2 Corinthians. your hurt. and like Christ. to give an answer for the deeds done in our body whether they be good. that is a bad deed. go to Matthew. PART TWO You are to be like Jesus. I am sacrificing all these things to be like Jesus. Even that mate that does not repent. all on the altar and saying. if you refuse to forgive. or whether they be bad.” Now. He remembers them no more. Now. chapter 6. because they did not repent. your disappointment. Some day.” And they’re going to live for all eternity in flames and torment where the worm dies not and the fire is not quenched. in the Lord’s Prayer.
or against your husband? Do you want forgiveness? Then you better give forgiveness because you have a person that has repented. you’re listening because we prayed you would listen. then you can’t ask God to forgive you. “God. There it is. “I wish I had not gotten 6 . You’re going to send it away. you’re really not thinking clearly. And God says we are to forgive our debtors just as God forgave our debts.” So if you refuse to forgive. But you want the marriage healed because this is to the glory of God. “If you forgive men for their transgressions. chapter 6.A MARRAGE WITHOUT REGRETS PROGRAM 39 (#910169) WEEK 8 (910336) 2010 PRECEPT MINISTRIES INTERNATIONAL want you to know. when He finishes the Lord’s Prayer. He knows that this just stops people dead in their tracks. when you divorce and then you remarry. believe me. second marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages. And why are you not going to bring it up? Because you’re going to be like God. “…forgive us out debts. but there’s going to be an awful terrible adjustment and there is and I hear it over and over and over again. You want the marriage healed. part of the Lord’s Prayer is this. And you’re going to forgive. You have a person that has recognized their sin and confessed their sin and iniquity and you need to forgive. You’re not going to harp on it. But if you do not forgive men. Your mate just transgressed your covenant relationship. as we have forgiven our debtors. “And forgive us our debtors…. If you don’t want the marriage healed. Now listen. because God has a message for you. the word “forgive” is a word that means to send away.” You’re saying. You cannot ask God to forgive you. Listen. then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. I want you to forgive me to the same degree that I’ve forgiven others. you are going to be blessed of God. your heavenly Father will also forgive you. And this is to the benefit of you and it’s to the benefit of your husband. so He says. or against your children. You’re not going to bring it up. And in that.” Do you want to be forgiven in the future? Do you think you’ll ever sin against God. But in Matthew. or forgive us our trespasses. You have a person that has a godly sorrow. beloved. in the Lord’s Prayer. Now listen. And not only that.” those that owe us something. They owe you a debt.
“So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened. And you know the joy of that man. chapter 18. “Forgive me. they were deeply grieved and they came and reported to their lord all that had happened. Now he’s been forgiven a 10 million dollar debt and he’s grabbing this guy by the throat that owes him a day’s wages and he says. You need to forgive. It has been so hard and so difficult. I’m telling you. That man’s forgiven.” to forgive him.” This is the king that had just forgiven him. up to seven times?” And Jesus said.” And he says. He just got forgiven 10 million 7 . But he went and threw him in prison until he could pay back what he was owed.” Now that’s 490 times.” And so his fellow slave falls down and begins to entreat him saying. “You pay me right now or you’re going to get it. He sees a man that owes him some money and he grabs that man and he says. The others are watching and saying.” Because all of a sudden you have someone else raising your children. how many times should I forgive my brother if he sins against me? Should it be seven times. he says. “Pay me right now. chapter 18. And a man is brought before him because he owes him like 10 million dollars in silver. Then summoning him.” And he certainly could repay him because it’s only one day’s wage that he owes him. “Wait a minute. “He was unwilling however.. I’ll repay. I will pay you. Who’s going to keep track? And then He tells a story.” And the guy’s saying. You have someone else to adjust to. it should be seven times seventy. “Put him in prison. It’s beyond him. “Look. Peter comes to Jesus and he says. all the divorces and all the remarriages. forgive me.” And the man falls before the king and he says. “No. It’s beyond him to ever repay 10 million dollars in that day..” Now there’s no way he’s ever going to repay. And the man. Matthew. “Pay me back what you owe me. You have someone else to become one flesh with and one in your thinking and in your marriage. But the king has mercy on that man and the king forgives that man. He tells a story of a king who was going to settle accounts. In Matthew. “Okay. He can’t pay his debt.” And it says.A MARRAGE WITHOUT REGRETS PROGRAM 39 (#910169) WEEK 8 (910336) 2010 PRECEPT MINISTRIES INTERNATIONAL remarried. “Have patience with me and I will repay you. He walks away. it is a tangled mess.
Because when you refuse to forgive. So you need to let that bitterness go.” so bottom line. “So…. you know what’s going to happen? God’s going to draw back from you. It is the glory of a person to forgive another’s transgression and it is heaven to be forgiven by God.” And the king says.” What do you need to do? You need to forgive your mate who has confessed. I mean he was so off the earth because of the forgiveness and not having to pay that debt. so that there can be a testimony of the grace of God. who has repented. what else do I need to do? I’m so glad you asked because I’m not finished and I’m going to tell you what else you need to do so that this marriage can be restored. And you know what? You’re going to be handed over to the torturers. not the other person. “‘Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave. And you say.” now listen carefully “…to the torturers until he would pay back all that he would owe. 8 . handed him over…. beloved. verse 35. And he turned him over to the torturers.A MARRAGE WITHOUT REGRETS PROGRAM 39 (#910169) WEEK 8 (910336) 2010 PRECEPT MINISTRIES INTERNATIONAL dollars. You need to let that anger go. Now this is the bottom line. King.” So he brings the man back and he says. And you need to forgive as God forgave you. He was walking sky high.” He missed being forgiven 10 million dollars because he would not forgive a man one day’s wage. Jesus is answering Peter. “How many times do I forgive?” And He says. you’re the one that’s held in bondage. And if you won’t forgive your mate from your heart. if each of you does not forgive his brother from his heart. “…shall My heavenly Father do to you. Precious One. even as I had mercy on you?’ And his lord. And you need to do everything that you can to restore that marriage. look at what he did and you just forgave him. “Call him back. Look at what he did. you are never more like God or more like Jesus than when you forgive. You need to forgive your mate from your heart. listen to me again. Jesus is telling this story. moved with anger. so that this marriage can be a healthy marriage and a solid marriage.
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