disco

under issue #12

w o rld october 2009

The Gold
Edition #1
What is it?
An A4-sized 100 page
magazine printed by PMP Print
in Auckland on 130 gsm stock
with a 300 gsm cover.
Who is in it?
There are 15 stories of the
people who have been featured
in disco underworld over the
first 10 issues and over 50 of
their beautiful photographs.
Facebook fans who won
copies of The Gold Edition:
Marie Young, Emma Dyer and
Amanda Gray. Congrats! We’ll
send you out a copy when
it’s published.
When is it being
published?
It will be published at the
beginning of November and in
your mail box in time for
Christmas if you order before
the 20th of October.
Where is it being sold?
Entirely online on our blog. You
can pay via Paypal or bank
transfer.
How can I get my hands on
a copy?
Click here :)
NOTE:
We will not be publishing
a digital issue of disco
underworld for November, to
give us time to concentrate
on publishing The Gold
Edition. If you have a problem
with this email my mum:
mumchilds@hotmail.com.
Just 2
o
photog f the 15 ar
raphs t
you’ll ists and th
brigitte bouquet
dutch ceramic artist
find in ei
side T r
he Gol
d Edit
io n
BRIGITTE BOUQUET
“I was doing something I liked and was happy
every day... but I kept having all these dreams
in my head about big ceramic sculptures...”
THIS PAGE:
Frozen River disco underworld
OPPOSITE PAGE: www.discounderworld.com
Frozen River detail page 7
amanda ratcliffe
new zealand photographer
Amanda Ratcliffe is making a name
for herself as a photographer in the
at smaller venues. “There was a lot going on at the
time, so in some of the photos
New Zealand music scene.
Photographing established and
“I admire any musician who feels
totally comfortable with
themselves to go out there and
they’re yelling at people across the
room. Viewers connect with
pictures like this because the
emerging musicians at a variety do what they believe in – even if subjects are doing what any other
of venues and locations, she is a
familiar face on the Hamilton music
scene. Behind the camera,
it’s something that people don’t
understand at the time. Those are
the ones who inspire me and make
person would be doing in the same
situation.”
Amanda is also an online album/ me want to push myself and forget
gig reviewer, radio DJ, MySpace about fitting into a certain mould,”
blogger and NZ music advocate. Amanda says. “There was a lot
going on at the time,
“It’s very much the local music As musicians can be nervous and
scene in New Zealand that has self-conscious in front of the so in some of the
seen my work as a photographer
noticed and in turn, made a writer
camera, Amanda takes a
documentary approach to band photos they’re
and radio DJ out of me,” she said. shoots. This raw style captures yelling at people
impromptu moments on and off
Always on the hunt for new talent, stage. A particularly memorable across the room.”
she particularly enjoys watching shoot was the Knives At Noon EP
local musicians’ first performances release gig. THIS PAGE: Knives at Noon
AMANDA RATCLIFFE
Article by Amanda Gray
“I admire any musician who feels totally
comfortable with themselves to go out there
and do what they believe in - even if it is
something people don’t understand at the
time.”
disco underworld
www.discounderworld.com
page 7
 www.discounderworld.com. issue #12 contents. page 5

18 issue #12 58 36
emma kidd features Jason Burgess michelle ransom

50
Mike’s Space:

L o s t . 30
Legal Alien:
living and experiencing
life in another culture
8

direct address
disco underworld, october 2009
October!?
This issue of disco we are
looking at Legal Aliens, those
of us who live and love in a
country which is not that of our
birth.
It’s an adventure, and I always
Photo by Jo Sowry
get a thrill out of living in a
country that isn’t my own... for
a little while anyway. The
people in this issue have lived
away from home for over a
year, and they share their
experiences and outlooks in this
issue.
The next digital issue will be out
in December, as we are busy
getting things organised for
The Gold Edition, the very first
print issue of disco.
Special thanks have to go to
Amanda and Blanca for their
help this issue.
That’s it from me, please
enjoy this issue, and if you have
any thoughts/photos for next
issue’s theme be sure to send
them through,
Stacey
stacey@discounderworld.com
www.discounderworld.com. direct address. page
Next issue’s theme is “Vice”.
Drop me a line if you have
anything to contribute:
stacey@discounderworld.com
Click on the cover above to
read the first issue of Music
Sandwich!
Free music downloads, up
and coming musicians,
music videos... what more
could you want!
www.music-sandwich.com
7
Cover
image by
Emma Kidd.
Read her
article
on page
18.
disco underworld is published by
Online INsight Limited © copyright
2009. By reading and interacting
with our magazine and website, you
agree to the terms laid out
under the “terms of use” on the
site www.discounderworld.com.
Editor: Stacey Childs
stacey@discounderworld.com
Contributors: Mike Woodruff,
Blanca González, Amanda Gray,
Dillie Baria, Stacey Childs.
Coming up in the next
few pages:
Vera Alves
Emma Kidd
 www.discounderworld.com. vera alves. page 9

By Dillie Baria
 www.discounderworld.com. vera alves. page 11

M


ost foreigners
have interesting
reasons for immigrating to New
Zealand. Vera Alves’ isn’t any
different.

It all started with a postcard.

An image of Lake Tekapo made
Vera wonder about New
Zealand the country in the
Pacific, that was almost exactly
opposite her suburban
Portuguese town on the globe.

For months, she fed her

curiosity by reading up about
New Zealand and couple of
years later, she was there,
looking at turquoise colour of
Lake Tekapo from the
exact same perspective that
the photographer had stood
when snapping her postcard
shot. The beauty of it took
her breath away and she was
shocked to see it really existed.
 www.discounderworld.com. vera alves. page 13

One of Vera’s main worries

about immigrating to an
English-speaking country was
not being able to find a job as a
print journalist with Portuguese
as a first language. So before
her arrival, she sent off dozens
of CVs, succeeding in securing
an interview with an IT
company.

Weeks after the interview,

having heard nothing back,
Vera decided to give it one last
shot by writing an article on
the iPhone being launched in
New Zealand. She sat on Queen
Street outside the Vodafone
store, in the cold, her ardor
turning to words. She got the
job.

Three months later, Vera moved

to her current job writing for
immigration sites and
magazines, where she learns a
lot about her new home (one in
every four people in New
Zealand is an immigrant) and
has made a lot of friends.
 www.discounderworld.com. vera alves. page 15

Vera thought she would be

perceived very differently when
she first arrived in New Zealand,
thinking she’d be one of very
few immigrants. To her pleasant
surprise, she was in for a literal
culture shock, making her feel
more at home. “In my circle of
friends, my partner Chris is the
only Kiwi!”

Additionally, her
disheartening misconception of
being the only Portuguese in
New Zealand was soon put to
rest when she found an advert
in the local paper. A woman
called Jenny was looking for
Portuguese people to celebrate
the Portuguese National Day
with. Although Vera found it
hard to believe she was
Portuguese with a name like
“Jenny”, she still got in contact,
discovering not only that Jenny
(real name Maria Eugenia) was
Portuguese, but that there was
a 900 strong community of
Portuguese people around New
Zealand.

As is widely known, Vera finds
New Zealanders a very
laid-back people – she claims
that back home in
Portugal, people tend to be
quite stressed. “I was shocked
to see people were so friendly,
I was into a shop and the shop
assistant starts chatting like we
were close friends! It’s
amazing!”
Having lived in an apartment in
Portugal, Vera is still
getting used to having to live in
a house. The lack of
skyscrapers took her by
surprise. Her partner Chris has
labelled her a mall-girl, because
that was a past-time of hers
in Portugal. “Here, we go for
bush-walks!”
If you would like to vote for
Vera to appear in our print
issue, enter your email here and
hit vote. Your vote will count
once your email has been
verified. Only one vote will
count per email and person.
www.discounderworld.com. vera alves. page 17
To Vera, home is truly where
the heart is. Albeit living in New
Zealand in complete bliss, there
are times when it strikes her
just how far away home is, and
how much she misses her
family. “I first realised this when
my grandma had a stroke.
Although she is much better
now, at the time, I stood
frozen at hearing the news, not
knowing what to do, if it would
be too late by the time I flew
through flights and through
those hours!”
The semi-distant future sees
Vera moving closer to home.
It is something she and Chris
are planning on; but for now,
they’ve decided he needs
to hold on to his good
job amid the recession.
Vera blogs here:
www.paudecanela.net/kiwivera
 www.discounderworld.com. emma kidd. page 19

By Amanda Gray
 www.discounderworld.com. emma kidd. page 21

F
Europe and thinks travelling
alone to Italy was one of her
rench living provided greatest achievements. It was
its own challenges for also her first ‘real’ international
seasoned traveller, Emma Kidd. experience.

The Australian multimedia artist “Until moving to France, I

was in France, hearing French
“In Lille, I felt utterly but thinking in Italian – a legacy
alienated for the first of studying etching in Italy.
two years.” Emma says she “had to go” to
seemed to find other
foreigners to interact with when
I felt alone. But there, in Lille,
I felt utterly alienated for the
first two years.”
 www.discounderworld.com. emma kidd. page 23

Her sense of alienation gave

her the incentive to expand her
creative pursuits - illustration,
printmaking, painting and the
photographic practice of
lomography.

“[It] made me explore myself,

made me work harder on finding
who I really am and what path I
really wanted to take with work
and life balance,” she said.

Emma began participating in

international sketchbook
exchanges where pages of
Moleskine notebooks are
sent between artists in a set
rotation. Each artist
contributes drawings, collages
or paintings to the notebook
and the progress is discussed in
a group blog.

Coming up in the next

few pages:

Feature Story: Legal

Alien

Michelle Ransom
 www.discounderworld.com. emma kidd. page 25
 www.discounderworld.com. emma kidd. page 27

Emma works under the name

‘ben conservato’, which means
‘well-preserved’ in Italian and is
also a reference to Emma’s
second passion, cooking.
Previously a chef, her last major
experiment with food was jam,
hence the name. One of her
favourite foods is cake.

“Cake would be it. I am

particular though. The different
things I like have to come from
that particular patisserie or
bakery. Here and also in France.
But all types of cake are
welcome,” she said.

At present in Australia, her

creative schedule is not
dictated by a 9-5 routine. Her
online ‘ben conservato’
identity includes an expanding
Flickr photostream, Moleskine
exchange blogs and two Etsy
online craft stores.
Her illustrations recently Emma’s attitude towards and the Aboriginal People just
Emma’s ‘ben conservato’ Etsy featured in the Etsy publication, Australia has changed since astonishes me,” she said.
store sells her screen prints, ‘We Are Scared’. The Halloween returning.
lomography, photography, special edition was part of the
prints and etchings. Her regular ‘We Are..’ series, where “My country is very young and
“My country is very
‘Velvet Ribbons’ store sells 15 Etsy illustrators are chosen very old at the same time. We young and very old at
vintage clothing and handmade monthly to interpret different are all immigrants and the
cuffs and purses. themes. politics surrounding my country
the same time.”

“It is true what they Now comfortable with her
Australian identity, she
say ‘you cry when nevertheless misses her French
you arrive and you husband, who is currently away
skippering and Lille, despite its
cry when you leave.’” bad weather.
“It is true what they say ‘you
cry when you arrive and you cry
when you leave.’”
www.discounderworld.com. emma kidd. page
“I am a Gen Yer, working to get
money, following my dreams.
No children, still strangely not
interested.
Thankfully my Dad
has stopped asking
me about that.”
Visit Emma’s site:
www.benconservato.com
29
If you would like to vote for
Emma to appear in our print
issue, enter your email here and
hit vote. Your vote will count
once your email has been
verified. Only one vote will
count per email and person.
 www.discounderworld.com. feature: legal alien. page
I
have lived outside Spain, settle for something in the
my country of birth, for
almost 10 years. I'm still not
sure of how this happened. As
a child, I never travelled far on
holiday, and I didn't even have
a gap year before University. I
guess I wanted to travel, but I
didn't really imagine myself
doing it. But then after
University, I was somewhat
Legal Alien: lost. I had always been a very
good student and that was all I
knew how to do. However, this
living and experiencing Feature article by
Blanca Gonzalez
time, it was clear that everyone
expected me to face the real
life in another culture www.cuttingsonablog.blogspot.com world.
31
“When I ask where
home is, I’m asking
of course, something
far more profound,
and difficult to
answer: Who am I
and where do I
belong?”
I wasn't ready to embrace
reality fully so I decided to
middle and went to England to
learn the language. You may
think that going to live in
another country was facing the
real world in a rather drastic
way. The truth is, at the time, I
just thought I had a very good
excuse to have a small
adventure, and I didn't know
how hard it would be to live
abroad. Of course, I didn't
realise how fulfilling it would
be either, and I couldn't have
imagined that 10 years later
I'd have created my own home
away from home.

For a while, my life in a new
country felt temporary. I never
really decided to stay. It just
sort of happened that way. I
studied, I made friends, I had
a boyfriend, I got a job (not a
good one), I said goodbye to
some friends, I met others, I got
a better job ... And one day, I
realized that my place was in
this other country that wasn’t
mine. That I had grown up and
finally taken the first steps into
the real world, only I had done
it away from what I had always
known as home. I had built my
own space in which to grow.
Since then, inevitably, the
question of what home means
has never been far from my
thoughts. When a friend in
England reminisces about a
childhood memory of a TV
program that I never knew.
When someone in Spain tells
me about the latest gossip and
people I’ve never heard about.
When back in Spain, I sit with
my friends over
coffee as if I’ve never left or
when I do the same with a
relatively new friend here and
talk about the many memories
we already share. I'm always
wondering where home is.
www.discounderworld.com. feature: legal alien. page
When I ask where home is, I’m
asking of course, something far
more profound, and difficult to
answer: Who am I and where
do I belong? And so, more and
more I wonder: Is home really
a place, a country, a city, a
house? Is it a familiarity with
the customs of the region
where you live? Is it the
ability to communicate with
those around you? Can you
really feel at home in a
foreign country? For a long
time, I thought of home as the
place where you choose to live.
Then, home became a
“I had built my own
space in which to
grow.”
33
language, the ability to
communicate and participate
fully that made me feel at home
in my adopted country.
A year travelling in South
America fueled new questions.
I felt at home in many of the
places I visited, even though I
didn’t stay in any of them for
very long. More surprisingly, I
was at home on the road, and
it was incredibly easy to live as
part of the traveling
community. But how can you
belong anywhere if you keep
moving? Home wasn’t a place
anymore, home was being on
the move, looking forward to
the next adventure. But before
long, I felt a sense of
detachment from my
surroundings, I stopped
investing in building a home,
not even a temporary one, as I
knew I’d be moving on.
Coming up in the next
few pages:
Michelle Ransom
Mike’s Space: Lost
 www.discounderworld.com. feature: legal alien. page 35

And so I decided that maybe

others were right, that to find
home, you have to stop
moving, go back to your roots. I
thought that going back to the
place where you started from,
you'd be finally arriving home.
But that place is in the past,
and you can never really go
back. Even if you don’t move,
others do, people and places
will change. You may never feel
completely at home in a foreign
land, but once you leave, it'll
also be difficult to go back to
the way it was in your own
native country.

All this wondering and

searching just shows my fear
of not belonging anywhere. But
I may have been looking for
home in all the wrong places.
Maybe we can only feel at home
when we build one for ourselves
wherever we are, and in order
to do it, we should look within,
and not outside ourselves. I'm
starting to think that being at
home is knowing that you are
where you are supposed to be,
at least in this very
moment, even if you
won't stay there for
ever.
 www.discounderworld.com. michelle ransom. page 37

michelle ransom Interview by Stacey Childs

Ed’s note:

Normally I send the people

featured in these pages a series
of questions and go about
making an article based around
their answers, highlighting the
interesting things and ignoring
the dull. Coming up in the next
few pages:
But Michelle’s answers are
Michelle Ransom cont.
brilliant: hilarious, touching and
honest, and I think they work Mike’s Space: Lost
best just as they are…
 www.discounderworld.com. michelle ransom. page
1. What are you currently
doing day to day?
One moves cities, countries, or
continents for love or money.
That’s it. Test it out on anyone
– it is foolproof.
For me, this time it was love.
We moved to Madison,
Wisconsin (three hours
north-west of Chicago) for my
sweetheart to take an
ever-elusive tenure-track
faculty position at a decent
university.
Since then, I’ve been trying to
break in as an outsider to build
a freelance consulting business
that will allow me to reside with
my family in this damn small
city and keep sane at the same
time.
39
Case and Point: Typical first
interaction with Madisonian...
Me: “Hi, I’m new and happy to
be here. Can you tell me a little
about Madison and how to get
to know folks?”
Them: “Are you a University of
Wisconsin Alumni?”
Me: “No, but….”
{The rest of the answer isn’t
heard, and the person turns
their head away to locate the
bar/snack table/bathroom and
purposefully saunters off}.
Oh did you ask what am I
doing day-to-day?
Trying to cope with the
professional rejection that has
come my way for two years in
this town, er, city.

2. Ten years ago where were
you?
Just arrived back from a
volunteer gig in Economic
Development with Voluntary
Services Overseas (VSO.org), in
Skopje Macedonia,
sponsored by USAID and
British ODA, where, among
other things, I was coaching
a group of Albanian women in
Zitoshe, Macedonia to group
their cows together to start a
cheese cooperative.
Oh, and a five month
backpacking adventure in SE
Asia… and then in 1999 I was
going to save the world (or
just the 800,000 customers of
a electricity company in New
Brunswick, Canada) from the
starvation, thirst and other evils
of the inevitable Y2K disaster.
(I was implementing software if
you hadn’t guessed).
3. Where will you be in 10
years?
Toronto. A glass and steel
high-rise condo with three
pieces of furniture and great
cookware.
www.discounderworld.com. michelle ransom. page 41
I’ll be extremely cool, and my
13 year old daughter won’t be
too embarrassed to be with me.
No jokes. That’s it. I’m done
with being a foreigner. At least
in the UK (7 yrs) and
Macedonia (<1 yr) I got to keep
my Canadian identity as I had
an accent. Here in the US (6
years off and on), it is assumed
that I am an American and I feel
like I am DISSOLVING. I am an
INVISIBLE MINORITY, and I hate
it.
I feel like I’ve punked out by
living in a place where I
disagree with the values – I’m
a hypocrite and a cop-out - I’ve
chosen love (my best friend)
over my principles and values.
That’s why I’ve got to get back
to Canada. I can’t dissolve
anymore, or there’ll be
nothing left. I can’t even go
back to visit, I get too wistful
and sad. I visit Canada alone, as
my sweetheart keeps our
dual-citizen daughter as
hostage so I’ll return to the U.S.
urgh.
 www.discounderworld.com. michelle ransom. page 43

4. Do you have any vices/

guilty pleasures?

Stupid, girly, romantic comedies

for the intellectually challenged.
Though, maybe that should tell
me something….

Hmmm…. Confession time? It

is so embarrassing that I go to
these movies for therapy, that
I make sure to go alone, to the
late show to make sure no one
sees me. I slip in and out like a
foreign agent (maybe another
career for me?)

Oh, and McDonald’s breakfast

hashbrowns twice a year.
Embarrassing huh? I have to
hide the trash, so no one finds
any evidence. And, French films
with suicide, infidelity and
alcoholism braided into the
plot. Makes me feel like I don’t
have real problems – it could
be worse. Wow. I really do have
hang-ups! Do you know a good
therapist? Remind me to fire my
personal coach.
 www.discounderworld.com. michelle ransom. page
5. Who is your mentor/role
model/idol?
Madonna popped into my head
– can you believe that (note to
self - get therapist on speed
dial). Oh, and she’s a “legal
alien” too, isn’t she –
gallivanting around in the UK.
She’s got great arms, not to
mention the legs… what was
the question? I’ve always
admired her ability to evolve
and pick the right collaborators
to stay current. She is a brilliant
businesswoman and marketing
machine. I should take a page….
6. What has been the biggest
challenge in your life? How did
you overcome it?
I think I’m in it…. As a legal
alien in the U.S, I’ve been
working for two years in
Madison to find good work that
fits. I build and fix. I facilitate
smart teams to do their best
work. I reduce costs or increase
efficiencies at places whose
missions I can get behind (like
heathcare).
45
However, due to being an
outsider, I can’t break in. Some
of the outsider quotes: “You’re
too aggressive for a woman
in the mid-west”, “You’re not
from here, you wouldn’t
understand us”, “You’re not
a Badger??” (the university
sports mascot). I need to tell
you, that as far as outsiders go,
I’m not far off the mainstream.
I’m a white, educated,
middle-class immigrant woman
with English as my first
language. What would
happen here if I were an
immigrant woman of colour
with an accent? I shudder to
think what other immigrants are
experiencing here and in other
closed-minded cities and towns
across America.
As for overcoming it – I don’t
know. I’ve hired a coach, am
taking some classes so that I
will be an alumni of the
local university (and hopefully
gain access to the insider’s
club), have daydreams of
running away, but so far I
haven’t solved it. Watch this
space.

7. What is the most awesome
thing you have ever done?
The second-most
awesome thing I did
was to be one of five
Canadians (out of
600,000 Canadian
visitors that year)
to be deported from
the UK after one year of
living there on a two year
working holiday visa.
The pipsqueak immigration
officer decided he wanted a
promotion and deporting a
Canadian was apparently the
way forward. He told me I
was “abusing the spirit of my
visa”, and should only have
been “working in a pub”. I was
Coming up in the next
few pages:
Mike’s Space: Lost
Jason Burgess
searched, thrown in the
detention cell for the day with a
crazy man who alternatively
muttered and sang, hugging his
knees while rocking back and
forth. I was threatened over
and over that I would be
transferred to their overnight
detention centre, but then
released at the last moment
with an onion-skin paper receipt
for my passport. “Do you want
the police to come get you?”
No, thanks, I’ll be here for my
deportation flight back to
Canada in four days.
I gave up my job, my
apartment, my boyfriend and
got on the plane. About a year
later I managed to get my life
back and was back working in
London (involving going to the
British Consulate in Los
Angeles for a visa,
spending time in Cairo,
“accidentally” losing the
passport that the deportation
stamp was in, sneaking into the
UK via ferry crossing instead
taking a risk with the finicky
airport immigration officers,
www.discounderworld.com. michelle ransom. page 47
buying milk and potatoes on a
credit card, and finally
finding work at the Canadian
High Commission for which I
needed no visa. F@$K you,
pipsqueak. I was there for five
more years, got a better job, a
Master’s degree from the
London School of Economics,
and went out dancing twice a
week for jungle and drum ‘n’
bass. Stubborn? Me?
Actually, the most awesome
thing I’ve ever done was to take
a chance on hooking my cart
to a foreign grad student, and
then after nine years together,
reluctantly (on my part)
making a baby (and what, I ask
you, was so wrong with
practicing?) I thought
pregnancy was a one-way ticket
to chubbiness and slavery. I was
wrong - it is so much
better than I ever expected. I
have to make sense now. I can’t
just run away from challenges,
and that makes me a more
compassionate person who can
see the grey areas in life now.
 www.discounderworld.com. michelle ransom. page
8. How do you think your
culture and upbringing manifest
itself in how you live your life
now?
“There is no one more patriotic
than an expat” – Michelle
Ransom (that’s me).
I’m a product of the
propaganda of my nation. My
sweetheart has identified the
main message in Canadian
propaganda as “happy, happy
multiculturalism --education
and health care are free and a
human right”. While I identify
the main message of American
propaganda as “We are
arrogantly the best at
everything and most obviously
the only nation with a
democracy, and free speech. So
why would we ever need to look
beyond our borders? ”
I live in American as a hypocrite.
I grew up anti-American and
anti-free trade, shouting “Don’t
take our natural resources you
Americans!” My family laughed
heartily when they heard I fell
in love with an American was
moving to the U.S. – like a cruel
If you live in or near Madison and need help aligning operational joke. Americans are all about
improvement with business strategy contact Michelle, individual rights – “what is best
michellecransom@gmail.com Just don’t mention the university or for me and mine”, while
the Badgers. Canadians are utilitarians – “the
49
greatest good for the greatest
number of people".
As I said, I’m an invisible
minority in the U.S. I’m
dissolving. I can’t bring up my
‘socialist’ points of view
anymore, as they are
interpreted as “Michelle getting
on her soap box again”. People
tire of differing opinions, and
eventually say “why don’t you
just go back home if it’s so
good there?”
What I’ve learned is that you
can’t choose a city over loving
your best friend.
We’ll work it out.
We always do.
If you would like to vote for
Michelle to appear in our print
issue, enter your email here and
hit vote. Your vote will count
once your email has been
verified. Only one vote will
count per email and person.
 www.discounderworld.com. mike’s space. page
I
pride myself on my sense
of direction. I always know
where I’m going and how to get
there. My parents bought me
a GPS for my car last year and
Mike’s Space:
it’s still sitting in the back seat
of my car, hopelessly
sequestered away right next to
the KISS lunch box I won last
year at an arcade in Redondo
Beach. This refusal to utilize
Lost.
technology isn’t stubborn,
macho pride, either. When it
comes to driving the streets
of Los Angeles, I know them
well. If I don’t, then I relentlessy
study routes on google maps
51
Mike Woodruff lives in Los
Angeles. When not writing,
he enjoys playing basketball
and eating Flamin’ Hot
Cheetos. You can find him on
the internet at
www.mutinouswombats.blogspot.com
Read last month’s Mike’s
Space here.
until I do. This is something that
calms me.
What is NOT calming, however,
is getting lost. I rely so
heavily on the comfort of
knowing my location that when
I do get turned around, it feels
like someone just ripped off
my ears. Getting lost in Los
Angeles? This usually means
a healthy sampling of curse
words until I can find a street I
know. Getting completely and
hopelessly lost in a foreign
country? This is a different
story altogether.

In 2005, I went to teach English
in Seoul, South Korea.
The day I left the verdant hills
of Kentucky started out
ominously. My parents drove
me to nearby Dayton at 6 in
the morning. It was raining. On
the way there, a grey Cherokee
cruising along the Interstate in
front of us skipped along a pool
of water, veered sharply to the
right, and slammed into the
www.discounderworld.com. mike’s space. page
railing. It came within inches of
hitting us on the rebound.
Not a good start.
I flew out of Dayton to Chicago.
At 1pm, I boarded my flight to
Seoul. I had an entire row to
myself and quickly made
myself comfortable. At least, as
comfortable as possible. For as
much as I like traveling and the
idea of flying, I absolute hate
53
the reality of it. The feeling of
claustrophobia and immobility
gets to me, especially after 13
hours.
I made due. It was a flight full of
turbulence, romantic comedies,
brief rounds of Tony Hawk on
my PSP, and several crying
babies. I didn’t sleep at all.
Since we were heading west
over Alaska, we chased the sun,
avoiding twilight.

“I needed to go to a
city called Ilsan, with
an I and an L, but
when I told the clerk
this, she must have
heard Osan”
By 5pm, I stepped off the plane
into a different country. By
5:30pm cleared customs at
Incheon International Airport.
By 5:45pm, I boarded a bus. By
6:15, I was totally, hopelessly
lost in a foreign country.
Memory and critical thinking
skills tend to wane after
being awake for nearly 24
hours. To the best of my
knowledge, here is what
happened: When I bought my
bus ticket, I neglected to show
the clerk the note my managers
made for me. I needed to go to
a city called Ilsan, with an I and
an L, but when I told the clerk
this, she must have heard Osan,
which is a completely different
city in the opposite direction of
Ilsan.
www.discounderworld.com. mike’s space. page 55
One syllable- ONE SYLLABLE-
ruined me. Lesson? If you have
a note, use it.
I knew I was on the wrong bus
in minutes. Highway signs in
Korea are in both Korean and
English. Over time, I learned to
view this as a blessing. That
first day, though, it was a curse.
A sign next to an onramp to a
highway running north read
Ilsan. The bus blazed by it,
heading south.
Oh noes….
An hour later, I arrived in the
wrong-syllabled city of Osan. I
immediately went to the
counter and asked for a ticket
to Ilsan. The lady at the counter
looked at me dryly. She raised
her arms and crossed them in
an x. This, I immediately learned,
was the Korean gesture for ‘no.’
“Ilsan, no,” she said.
“I need to get to Ilsan,” I replied.
“Ilsan, no.”
And again with the crossed
arms.

“My goal: Get to Ilsan
before I passed out
from exhaustion.”
I called my manager on a
payphone.
“Where are you?”
“I’m lost. I’m in Osan.”
“Ohhh…Osan is very far. Very
far. You stay there for the
night.”
“Incorrect. I’m coming there.
Can you pick me up?”
“No, you stay in a hotel.”
“Absolutely not. I’m staying in
my room tonight.”
“No.”
Psshhh…For a second, despair
turns to white-hot anger. It
cools quickly into a plan. I hung
up the phone. My goal: Get to
Ilsan before I passed out from
exhaustion.
There wasn’t a bus back to
Ilsan, but there was one to
Seoul. I hitched a ride on one,
then made it to the subway.
This was easier said than done.
The subway stop I chose was
nearly three stories
underground, which meant that
I needed to lug my belongings
down three flights of stairs.
I also needed to get my
suitcases through the little
tollbooths to get to the train.
www.discounderworld.com. mike’s space. page
Since my brain wasn’t firing on
all cylinders, I made the stupid
mistake of passing through the
tollbooth before I transferred
my suitcases. When I found I
couldn’t reach them to lift them
over, I crawled back
under the tollbooths and
dragged them through. Several
onlookers smirked in
amusement before helping me
out.
Lost? Check.
Exhausted? Yup.
Humiliated? O.M.G.
And this was only my first day.
57
Nearly five hours after arriving
in Korea, I made it to my city.
Several people were there to
greet me. When they asked me
what happened, I just laughed
and laughed and laughed.
“I just wanted to see the city,” I
said.
They showed me my room. How
things worked. I passed out on
the bed in an exhausted stupor.
In the morning, I tried
cooking noodles in a
dish dryer. I thought
it was a microwave.
 www.discounderworld.com. jason burgess. page 59

A


positive attitude
propels travel
photographer Jason Burgess
around the world.
Jason’s freelance
photographer and writer
existence is a “dream role”,
especially with the benefit of
business class travel on
“Travelling provides me with an assignment.

Jason Burgess
overview and a connection to
the wider world. The In the last 15 years, he has
momentum of travel keeps me photographically documented
positive and that’s an important his life experiences and is eager
mind state for producing any to explore more of the world.
Article by Amanda Gray Portrait by Johan Dewachter work, art or otherwise,” he said.

“I don’t have a must-go
destination in mind. I have
several ongoing projects and
ideas for potential road and
overseas trips. For me, any
opportunity to travel avails new
possibilities and allows me
access to people and places
that are out of the realms of
everyday life.”
Jason is interested in people –
what we are, where we come
from and what we leave behind.
“I’ve never been in any one
www.discounderworld.com. jason burgess. page 61
place long enough for full
immersion. What I will say is
that no matter where one
travels, the human condition is
the same. It’s the politics,
landscape and what you bring
to a place that changes.”
He easily establishes a rapport
with people he meets from
different cultures. A smile
coupled with learning basic
greetings, especially “thank
you” and sign language helps
overcome language barriers.
 www.discounderworld.com. jason burgess. page 63

If you would like to vote for

“Genuinely getting along with
people is the key to a smooth
journey and can open doors to
other possibilities,” he said.
Jason to appear in our print
issue, enter your email here and
hit vote. Your vote will count
once your email has been
verified. Only one vote will
count per email and person.

“Get a person talking about their

passion and the rest
of the world melts
away.”

Jason blogs at:

www.burgseyephotos.blogspot.com
collette
fergus
is your favourite from last
issue, and the person to be
included in the Gold Edition
at the end of next year.

Check out Collette’s website

here:
www.thecollection.co.nz

Get your copy of The Gold

Edition by clicking here.