The Last Word

Issue #473

February 2014

Putting your money where your Facebook feed is
There’s a movement afoot to fight right-wing Facebook friends. We’ve all got ‘em. People yo haven’t seen since kindergarten adding yo to their Facebook list and flooding yo r feed with far-right memes!often e-card drawings or discredited conspiracy theories abo t "the liberals# st ffing ballot bo$es and the like. %&t’s fre' ently accompanied with the demand( ")hare with all yo r friends#!b t hardly anyone does.* +o don’t have the nerve to confront them abo t it at the class re nion. +o went to their birthday party when yo were , and even brang a plate of c pcakes( and now they’re o t there r nning -merica down. )o what’s a mere mortal to do. )tink. /ope. Think! /ow folks are donating money to progressive ca ses each time they’re met with rightwing Facebook posts. -nd &’m 0oining this movement with g sto1 2ranted( & don’t have very many right-wing Facebook b ds( beca se &’ve been aro nd long eno gh to know that the conservative label means to keep yo r distance. 3 t!from now on!for each right-wing post & find in my Facebook feed( & will donate 45 to 6ove7n.org’s nonpartisan 8ivic -ction f nd. & believe that doing so will make my days that m ch brighter. This also applies to each right-wing chain e-mail & receive outside of Facebook. -nd it applies to each far-right Facebook post & see from former schoolmates who aren’t on my friends list. They’re the ones who generate the most violent /a9i crap!especially some of my classmates from 3rossart( where the Taliban ta ght this garbage. &t also applies to each time someone posts Tea Party propaganda in 7cc py 8incinnati’s Facebook gro p. When & was abo t 5: or 5;( we had a r le in o r ho se. <very time someone was convicted of passing gas( they were fined a ' arter. There were lots of wrongf l convictions( beca se the so rce of a silent-b t-deadly s ally co ldn’t be acc rately pinpointed( b t that’s beside the point. 7ften( when the telltale aroma was detected( somebody wo ld declare( "& smell a ' arter.# 6y 6ove7n pledge is sort of like that. With every right-wing post & find( 6ove7n smells 45. Within only a day of instit ting this sensible policy( & raised my first 45 for 6ove7n. &t’s similar to how & reacted to the Tea Party’s attacks on labor nions. The Tea Party has accidentally become the best recr itment device that organi9ed labor has seen in modern times. The Tea Party’s opposition to nions and workers led me to 0oin the /ational Writers =nion. & will f nd ca ses & believe in!as long as & can afford it. -ctions like this speak lo der than my words from :> years ago being ' oted o t of conte$t %which the <vil <mpire hasn’t done lately( b t tr st me( it’s coming!beca se we’re d e for it*.

America s most right!wing "# $udge%
8o rt shows are like a g ilty pleas re for me. 6 ch like sing a copy of 2oldWave from 5, years ago to speed p ?avid 3owie records by :@ to mimic W8A=. &’m not fond of some of the newest legal shows( beca se they reportedly 0 st se actors in scripted cases instead of real litigants in real cases. B dging by these shows’ ratings( most folks agree with me. & learn a lot more abo t the law from real cases. 3 t yo know what the most ins fferable co rt show ever to hit the airwaves may have been. &’m talking abo t the now-def nct Judge Jeanine Pirro( which aired from :>>C to :>55. -pparently( this program sed real cases( b t the viewing p blic fo nd the show to be 0 st as pitiable as & did( for la ghably low ratings forced it to be shitcanned. Why did a vast ma0ority of viewers find Pirro so grating. 3eca se Pirro is a raging right-winger. ? ring her failed :>>D campaign for senator from /ew +ork( she praised the 3 sh th gocracy’s fiscally irresponsible ta$

c ts for 9illionaires. %-s an aside( one of her opponents in the Eep blican primary was right-wing former +onkers 6ayor Bohn )pencer( whose campaign office made harassing phone calls to me. )pencer went on to become the 27P nominee.* /ow Pirro is a commentator on some Fo$ /ews 8hannel show that nobody watches. &t’s Fo$ /ews where Pirro lays the st pid on the thickest. )he has played p the none$istent "scandal# that falsely claims the &E) has nfairly targeted the Tea Party. %The fact that &E) has act ally targeted 7cc py has been almost completely ignored by the right-wing media.* )he also plays p the "scandal# that falsely acc ses the 7bama administration of covering p the events in 3engha9i. %There’s eno gh reasons for s to oppose Fillary 8linton that we don’t need the Tea Party making p things.* <verybody agrees Judge Judy is the reigning ' een of co rt television. The hilario s star of that program( B dge B dith )heindlin( is mighty to gh with litigants!sometimes rightly( sometimes wrongly. &’ve always had the impression that B dge B dy doesn’t always nderstand people’s lives. B st like how there’s folks who don’t nderstand me. Fow do yo e$plain to an accomplished member of the legal profession 0 st how ro gh life tr ly is. 3 t at least B dge B dy doesn’t strike me as being intentionally malicio s like Pirro does. Pirro’s Tea Party e$tremism in ven es other than her old co rtroom show lead me to this concl sion. 6y concl sion is only fair( beca se the Tea Party has a proven track record of acting in bad faith. There’s a case from Judge Pirro that’s been p on +o T be for years now. The defendant was a :,-yearold woman who was being s ed by her former boyfriend for allegedly r ining his car. The defendant clearly wasn’t lazy!for she act ally had a job( nlike most Tea Party followers( who have never had to do a day of work in their lives beca se they were born into privilege. When the woman informed Pirro that she was employed thro gh a temp agency( Pirro became enraged( po nded her gavel( prod ced a binder f ll of papers( and slammed it down. "Where do yo want to work.1# the angry 0 dge asked the woman. "6c?onald’s.1 3 rger Ging.1 ?o yo want to work at Taco 3ell.1# Pirro was telling somebody who was :, and already had a 0ob to go work at a fast food place. This reminds me of when Bohn 6c8ain told folks to get a second 0ob( or how 6c?onald’s tells its own employees to do the same if they want to get ahead in life. To tell someone to go work in fast food is what a parent says to a 5D-year-old who does nothing b t lay on the co ch and watch The Gong Show all day. &t’s not what a 0 dge sho ld say to an employed :,-year-old who’s a total stranger. &f Pirro was serio s abo t finding employment for the defendant( why did she limit the choices only to fast food. That makes as m ch sense as if she told someone who never went to medical school to go work as a heart s rgeon. & don’t know whether the plaintiff or the defendant was right abo t the facts of the case. 3 t when lect red abo t her employment( the defendant reacted the same way almost anyone else wo ld have!by walking o t. 3y :,( yo ’ve s ally beg n charting a co rse in life. 7nly in 3 sh-merica do we e$pect people to descend a ch te of downward mobility and keep ' iet abo t it. 8o ld yo imagine telling 2eorge Washington after he served as a general to p t on a paper hat and say( "Wo ld yo like fries with that.# 6oney( work( and economics are not a 0oke. We need to tell it like it isH The Tea Party brand of economic statism is sported by bad people. /ot misguided people. Bad people who en0oy p shing aro nd those who they see as economic inferiors. & wonder what the F88 wo ld have to say abo t all this!or what they’d say if they act ally foc sed on something other than sh tting down Tantr m I,.J. Fort nately( The Last Word has lasted J times as long as Pirro’s co rt show did.

&ePay% 'o( we )ay
& was looking tterly fiveward to collecting more money in my )tarving Writer F nd sing the WePay

donation b ttons & added to a co ple of my webpages. 3 t! kablooey!!WePay p and got rid of this service1 WePay had been to ted as an alternative to the embattled PayPal( and even the still-growing 7cc py movement sed WePay b ttons to raise money. 3 t a few weeks ago( WePay anno nced they were abolishing b ttons and p tting all their reso rces into some pro0ect nobody gives a shit abo t. 7n their Facebook page( they boasted... *"oday( we re e+cited to announce that we raised ,1-. in our /eries 0 to focus our energy on our API business1 It s going to be an e+citing 201423 -P& b siness. What. WePay’s statement so nds like it came from the woman on The Simpsons who works at the TK station and comes p with stale marketing tropes. <ither that( or the even more robotic woman in the commercial for some b siness school who says( "From -T6’s to airport check-in kiosks.# & have a set of voices & se when reading others’ statements alo d to ridic le what they said. For instance( when social conservatives wrote letters to the newspaper( &’d se a voice that so nded like Eev. Aove0oy( another Simpsons character. &f the letter writer sported the phony pop lism that wo ld now be associated with the Tea Party( &’d se a voice that so nded a bit like 2oofy( b t with more gr nting. For the above statement from WePay( & se a voice that & s ally se for o t-of-to ch e$ecs( ptight sysops( and personal correspondence from vario s b rea cracies. This voice so nds a lot like Germit the Frog. That’s how we did things in the radio bi9. 3ack when there was a radio bi9. <verybody agreed that WePay’s decision s $$ 6c2l $$. People’s reactions on WePay’s Facebook page were swift( certain( and severe. The few positive comments were met with 0argon-filled( robotic( backslapping responses from WePay( b t there were many more negative comments!which WePay ignored. WePay’s website tells folks to switch to one of their many "partners#!b t none of them offer donation b ttons. )o & chimed in and said( "+o have lost me as a c stomer by eliminating the f ndraising b ttons. &’m going back to PayPal.# %&’ll go back to Sesame Street1* )o & did. &n the meantime( here’s one of my websites where yo can donate to my )tarving Writer F nd... http://onlinelunchpail.blogspot.com

Idiot doesn t know what a 4/5 mouse is
&t never fails. B st when yo think we’re finally at the point that we have to accept that some people are morons( they always get even d mber1 &’ve been fr strated lately by the newer mo se for my comp ter!beca se it doesn’t work in the mo se port. +o have to se one of the =)3 ports on the front of the comp ter that were meant for other things. )o every time & want to se my printer or my digital camera( & have to npl g my mo se and briefly go back to sing my older mo se( which is more than D months old so it barely even works. -s a condign res lt( & gave the newer mo se a bad review on -ma9on. This in t rn has res lted in a mind-n mbingly lold mb response by the radical right. )omeone replied to my review( saying... *6ear c7ue7ess 7unkhead with nothing but 1!star re8iews( *P7ease 7og off the internet fore8er( throw away your P0( and '9#9: come back1 If you

don t know what a 4/5 mouse is( you don t e8en deser8e to breathe the same cyber!air as the rest of us13 ?o you know what a =)3 mo se is. -pparently( that weirdo doesn’t. - =)3 mo se is s pposed to work in a =)3 mo se port. =nless it’s a wireless!which & don’t want( beca se it ses p costly batteries!a mo se needs a port. &t doesn’t 0 st magically work on its own. & g ess this is like how Tim Pawlenty thinks cars will someday mirac lo sly r n on their own witho t needing f el.

.y new ;entucky home
Aots of folks had a good ch ckle when the oil and gas ind stries tried forming a ,5 st state by splitting several co nties off from 8olorado that they e$pected to do their bidding. 3 t the fossil f el bi9 was serio s. They really wanted their own state1 3eca se reasons( don’t ya know. 3 t you can play the ,5st state game too1 -nd since The 6edia takes gerrymandered right-wing proposals for new states serio sly( we have a right to have progressive proposals taken serio sly too. &f The 6edia doesn’t think so( it needs to 9ip its lip. &f yo live in a state like Wyoming!which is already small in pop lation and where right-wing pl tocracy is spread fairly evenly thro gho t the state!yo ’re probably o t of l ck. 3 t & tried carving a progressive-leaning ,5st state o t of Gent cky and was met with asto nding s ccess1 To form yo r own breakaway state( yo can start with a website like ?ave’s Eedistricting... http://gardow.com/davebradlee/redistricting/launchapp.html That site has an interactive map that shows election res lts for each precinct in most states and lets yo draw p maps to yo r political advantage. For my Gent cky proposal( & wanted to make s re & followed these r lesH L 6y new state wo ld incl de me. L &t wo ld be big eno gh to be a state. L &t wo ld not leave Gent cky any more noncontig o s than it is. %&t’s already noncontig o s thanks to /ew 6adrid 3end.* L -ltho gh co nties co ld be split( no co nties wo ld be left noncontig o s. L &t wo ld not incl de most of the city of Frankfort( for that city serves as the capital of the state we’re splitting from. &n the immortal words of my Cth grade science teacherH 6ake sense( people. & came p with a fairly reasonable map for my new state. Geep in mind that this is to gh to do for any state that’s not a bastion of progressive pop lism to begin with!so Gent cky was all the more challenging. &t’s partic larly hard to do these days( beca se in recent years( most s b rban and r ral areas

effectively bar anyone who’s not to the right of the Bohn 3irch )ociety from openly living there. Today( most folks on the left!despite being more n mero s than before!are concentrated in the cities. 6y new state has a narrow shape and looks somewhat like a capital L or an pside-down n meral J. &t starts in the river cities of ?ayton( 3ellev e( /ewport( and 8ovington( stretches down the river to Ao isville( and snakes along the edges of some r ral co nties to Ae$ington. -s for presidential politics( it wo ld be one of the least Eep blican statesH 3arack 7bama wo ld have carried it by abo t :> percentage points in :>>C. The bo ndaries are a little 0agged( and some cities are split( b t my response isH To gh toilets. &t’s not like there’ll be c stoms stations or a 3erlin Wall. &f & want to split only the co nties of 8ampbell and Genton( it becomes trickier b t & can still probably form a state that the Eep blicans wo ld usually lose. 3 t the 27P needs to lose in the f nniest way possible. With the party’s ongoing wire fra d scandal!that The 6edia predictably ignores!they deserve what’s coming. Why not also break 8incinnati %sans right-wing s b rbs* off from 7hio to add to o r new state. 3eca se then we’d need permission from : states instead of 0 st one. /ot like Gent cky will approve o r new state anyway. )o why wo ldn’t Gent cky Eep blicans want s gone. Wo ldn’t that make it easier for them to win on their own t rf and maybe even install 3ert look-alike 6att 3evin as senator. They wo ldn’t let s break away( beca se o r ta$ dollars are paying for their e$cess. They can’t live witho t s invol ntarily spoiling them( and they know it. 6aybe that’s why they didn’t p sh their 8olorado effort harder. Pl s( we’d get : senators of o r own. Then again( now that both 6itch 6c8onnell %a thor of it!h !"onnell’s Boo# $f %lbow "are* and 3ert are handily trailing in the polls for /ovember anyway( we might not need to worry m ch longer.

"he )arado+es of fascism
Fere’s a list of D contradictions of the fascism of -merica’s Tea Party skillionairesH L These broken records think the poor are greedy( envio s loafers who live off the ta$payers( yet wealthy Tea Party followers get government s bsidies themselves. /otice how Eep blican states receive more ta$ dollars for each dollar they pay in ta$es than other states do. L -ltho gh the Tea Party is s bsidi9ed by the poor( they claim to be victims of the poor. L &n light of this( they elect p blic officials who give them more hando ts!like 3 sh’s ta$ c ts for the rich. L -ltho gh their party became more and more powerf l for ;> years( the Tea Party claims to be more and more oppressed( and they become more and more dependent. L ?espite all this( the leis re class has amenities that the poor can only dream of. L Finally( they s pport stances that wo ld wreck the co ntry f rther and event ally ca se them to lose what they have. For e$ample( they oppose raising the minim m wage!even tho gh stagnant wages will event ally deplete the profits of their Wall )treet allies( beca se nobody will have any money to b y anything. They feel that if they can’t !ontrol the co ntry completely( they m st destroy it. 8lassic ab ser behavior. These are all o$ymorons. 3 t the Tea Party is 0 st morons.

"ooth)aste)hobia
)ay( what’s the deal with toothpaste. When & was a teenager( & once overheard an older relative warn another ad lt family member( "Whatever yo do( never get 8lose-=p toothpaste in yo r eye( like & did the other day.# Why in the world wo ld yo have toothpaste anywhere near yo r eye. The only reason & can think of why someone wo ld get toothpaste near their eye is if they’re reenacting the scene from a Tom &nd Jerry cartoon where Berry sprays toothpaste in Tom’s eyes( and Tom removes it like a pair of glasses. & bet the ?epartment of Fomeland )ec rity!which was designed as 3 sh’s personal plaything!wo ld r n o t of the room in fright if they saw that episode. They have toothpastephobia. There are some very real threats to air travel sec rity o t there. Toothpaste is not of them( like the ?F) thinks it is. 3 t for the past decade( the ?F) has enforced rigid r les abo t toothpaste and hand lotion in travelers’ l ggage. We let serial stalkers b y assa lt rifles( b t we don’t let families flying to +ellowstone carry toothpaste in their s itcase. &’m all for the )econd -mendment( b t why do we give #nown !riminals a free pass to b y weapons while regimenting the behavior of everyone else that poses no threat to anyone. This has come to light again recently with the Winter 7lympics and the dire warnings from The 6edia

abo t how We’re -ll 2onna ?ie beca se of passengers with toothpaste. 6aybe 3ob 8ostas got toothpaste in his eye( and that’s how it got infected. & g ess there’s a reason 8ostas once said the 3 sh regime had "tragically failed.# %&’m s re there’s many reasons.* &f terrorism strikes )ochi d ring the 7lympics( yo can bet yo r bi9cream it won’t have anything to do with toothpaste. -nd why was the no-fly list!the right-wing 3ible!allowed to do ble in si9e in :>5: alone. This is the system that has prevented small children and infants from flying with their families beca se they had the same name as someone on the list. - congressional candidate was added to the list beca se he opposed the &ra' War. <ven Ted Gennedy and /elson 6andela were on the list. The 6aryland )tate Police added ,; nonviolent activists to the no-fly list. To the best of my knowledge( whoever was behind that witch h nt has yet to have their life r ined like they so richly deserve. ?o yo have toothpastephobia.
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