What nurses are really thinking!! For all the patients we got. 1.

Don't tell me you have abdominal pain as you eat Dorito's in my triage room. 2. RN is not synonymous with waiter waitress. 2. !" you #ome to the $R by ambulan#e% the "irst thing that ! will ask you is how you are getting home. No% we don't have people on sta"" to drive you home% and don't tell me you don't want to% &'other& one o" your "amily members at this hour. (ou had no problem bothering )11 "or the ba#k pain you've had "or * months. Don't even think about asking me "or a #ab vou#her! *. (ou don't get to pi#k your own !+ site. ,his will irritate me and ! will probably miss your !+ on purpose and start your site in the pla#e ! wanted to initially to prove a point. -. &'utter"ly%& is not an !+ si.e% this word signals me to put in a larger bore needle. /. Nausea is not a reason to #ome to the $R. !" you are not in severe pain% are not vomitting or pooping your pants in "ront o" me% your but.t goes ba#k to the waiting room. 0. 1ow #an you have the worst migraine o" your l i"e% but are able to yell at me about the wait a"ter you 2ust put down a maga.ine you were reading3 4. Don't ever say things like% &! usually get - mg o" Dilaudid.& Re5uesting your med and dosage will prompt me to s5uirt out hal" o" the medi#ation be"ore ! in2e#t% and then lie about the dosage. 6. !" you are allergi# to ,ylenol% 7otrin% 8ltram% and ,oradol% ! have already assumed that you are a drug seeker. ). !" you #ame to the $R having a "amily do#tor appointment that same day% ! will make sure that you are still in the department well past the time o" your appointment. 19. ! don't #are i" you are a neighbor o" the :! spe#ialist. 8nless he drove you to the $R himsel"% you #an't be that "riendly. 11. ;ust be#ause% &7y Do#tor sent me here%& does not mean you get right ba#k to a treatment room. ,his tells me you are a pain in the as<% and he's pawning you o"". 12. ,he louder you whine% the bigger si.e !+ needle you get. 1*. Foley #at heters #ure pseudo= sei.ures. ,hey also #ure into>i#ated people. 1-. !" you are on more than two medi#ations at home% bring a list. Don't say% &(ou know% that little white pill.& !'m not a pharma#ist!

& .his will piss me o"" that ! bumped you ahead o" other people and !'ll make your visit horri"i#. What gives you the right to #omplain about your sore throat "or a week while ! have diarrhea "rom the antibioti#s !'ve been taking "or pneumonia and !'m still at work. 22. :ravida 4 at age 22 means you're a sl. 16. ! am #urrently inventing a trap door system in triage to be triggered when you say the word% &. 2-. !" you tell me you ha ve "ibromyalgia or #hroni# "atigue syndrome% know that !'m rolling my eyes and thinking you are a loser.ut. Although you've been in the $R "our times this week% we #annot list the $R do#tor as your "amily physi#ian. ?over your mouth when you #ough bel#h.& 29. 1). 24. . 20. We'll make you "eel stupid by putting a little pie#e o" tape down there and ki#king you out.his is #ommon #ourtesy. Do not talk to me while !'m trying to listen to your lungs. Don't tell me you have no money "or medi#ine while you have a #arton o" #igarettes in your purse right ne>t to your #ell phone% meanwhile ea#h o" your seven #hildren are playing their own BCB's. Never sign in with #hest pain be#ause you were too embarrassed to write &penile sores& or &"oul smelling dis#harge. Don't bit#h about missing dinner when !'m on the ninth hour o" my shi"t and haven't peed yet. !" you list 1aldol% :eodon% @ana>% .10. 2*.ootha#he. 'roken toes are not an emergen#y. 14. 21. . 2/.ra. When you negle#t to do this% ! am tempted to "art in your room% and then #lose the door.adone% and Ativan as allergies% don't tell me you have no psy#h history.