A WATERWAYS PUBLICATION
Richard Alan Spiegel & Barbara Fisher-Co-Directors
Allison Koffler Writer-in-Residence
Philip Curley-Site Teacher
Cassie Schneider - Resource Room Teacher Joan Flynn, Director, Vocational Education Symone Pansik, Supervisor
Thomas Perry-CUNY Intern City-As-School InternsSekou Bright, lavon Davis, Alberto Dejesus,
Maria Deleon, Hillary Fields
Marcia Brevot, Principal; Geoffry Cole, Resource Advisor
Richard Organisciak - Principal
Publication by the Waterways Project made possible with support from the NYC Board of Education &
NYS Council on the Arts
© 1990, The Waterways Project
James B. James Javier Keith Maceo Nicholas Simone Sylvia William
3-4 5-9 10-11
12 13-14 15-18 19
. 20-22 23
Life is beautifuly life can be grand.
Even little ants have much to plan, even more so a man who is human
who mayyies a beautiful woman.
Sometimes we don't understand how we ruin ':'Ll'( plan s
like getting divorced or having kids against YOLn- I,.,! i sh .
You have them too early or too late, but you can't let that stop you, because you still have to bake
that birthday cake.
Then you try to deal because you know you still have to pay bills.
Like I said~ 1 ife is good,
but you still have to live in certain ne i ghbor r-Ioclds.
The thing that comes along with neighborhoods, is drugsy something I nevey understood.
The world is so powerful and so is life, but don1t let that hold you back from doing what is right.
So just look on the bright side, because like they say,
life is not a free ride.
Think about what I left you with, because life goes by
sc' damn qu i c k ,
Geinq Real With Yourself
In this world, you have to be yeal!
Not only with yourself, but with others.
If you knew how you felt inside, it would be easy to bs a real person within yourself. And you should learn how to face the tyuth and you should also learn how to talk with people
so you can be real with your feelings. Knowing what you feel plays a big part too-how do you know when your feelings are real? When you start opening up to yourself,
now with other people you can tell them just how you feel,
if you don't like them or if you do like them,
just be real with the person and yourself.
I found the person I want to be.
Should I let him/her get close to me?
I found many ways to go.
Do I have the strength to grow?
I found reasons to do the right thing.
What will they bring?
I found that I have no more runs.
Can I stay away from guns?
I found that I have a bad attitude.
Can I change my way of being 50 cTude?
I fa U n d t:-, .;:d~ I~ ]""18-'- E' is 1 i fE' a f tr2"r" d '( u';i S • Will I keep sweeping my iSSUES under the irUg'-::'
I found that life is so beautiful.
Can I live it rich and full?
I found out what's right from wrong ...
Why do things take so long?
I fe,und I
What have I found?
I I 'Ie L.:.st
I've lost the ones I love,
to me they were sent from up abQve.
I~ve lost the feeling to cays; now I have nothing to share.
I've lost the love within my heart; ""hen wi 11 I r e a l i z e
that it is tearing me apart?
I've lost the will to live;
I f ,~e 1 .3 S i f I h E! \1 e not h i n 9 t c· ';1 i v F: • Irve lost my fysedom;
now I'm struggling to find my kingdom.
I1ve lost my way to the light;
now I hope that someday 1111 be jus;t s.s t,'( i';lht.
I'VE lost my grasp on life;
I f:L ,I al 1 /' n:.> 21 i 2 .::,? d . I h a \l e ,1':' IN i f e • I've lost things special to me;
p 1. easl::;:?, Si:liTI21:irl e
tell me how can this be?
ConfU3ion? Can it be a state of loneliness? Confu3ion? Can it be a sign that your life is a mess?
Confusion? Can it be the love you and yoUy loved one kept'?
Confusion? Can it be the teays that we have 1,..lept'7.'
Co"fusio'l? Can it be thE' 1'':'55 of OUy souls? Confu3ion? Can it be we cannot grasp our goals?
Confusion~ It can be strange.
Confu~ion? It is like 11m in an invisible
Confusion? What do I accomplish by being this way?
Confusion? Why do I always find myself ast'!" a,v?
What is w~ong with me?
Or is this the way fay me to be? Is it a desperate race to find mysel C:'
Or is it that I feel like an old puppet on a shelf?
Confusion? Do you like it?
Confusion? Is therE a way I can stay away frorn it?
Confu3ion? I do not know about it! Confusion? Until then, life must go on.
C,:'I' f us ion ,~, C':'II iu:;;ion? Con f us i ,:,n?
I 2m a person filled with anger and love, I w0ndsr how can I fly like a beautiful
dov e ,
I hear things I can't ~omprehend,
I want the knowledge to understand,
I am a peyson who needs a helping hand.
I pretend to be the king of kings,
I feel ~s though I have lost touch with
t h i riq a ,
I touch the souls of those who need help, I worry that someday I might not be felt, I cry when things donrt go my waYr
I am a person who llkes to go astray.
I understand that I must' be herE,
I say to myself that one day things will be
.: J. e~~u'" :r
I dream that one day I shall be .•. I troy t o 1 ive evel"y day dr'_tg-f"(ee,. I hope I find my inner self,
I need to take the real me off the she}f, I am a person trying to improve my mental
I'm tired of trying to be humble! 17m tired of dealing with society'
I'm tired of not having a chance to defend myself'
I'm tired of people ,jumping to conclusions! I'm tired of holding my belly!
I'm tired of saying goodbye to the ones I lo .... /E ~
I ~ rn t i r eri
I 7 IT: t i r ed
fCl" ine I
I ? ITi t i '(.::old
I 1 m t i r e d
I 7 IT! t i c- ed
I p 0: J_ i r ed
th,':? r ~tl:e !
I f m 1:: r r Eel
I 'm t i r ed of people telling me what to do! of people trying to m2~e decisions
of getting 3creamed at! o f j'- e a chi n g 0 uti
of giving and getting slapped in
of p a i n I
of people hurtinq mel ""m. I rent i"red of being sCE\jred I
'~"';~I 1'm + i r e d of be i nq lon(·?ly!
fI' t" d - . ' I.. I
,I", m ,l're or glVJ.ng IT on,? mo·(E.' t vy :
Ii', I 7 ~ 1 L' ~.L d - "I~ 'r I" .., 1-'1.. -!- I' ",- ,_...J -", -" - 'r vt f'- I' n q I
f: ill'J I;::J- ..... I_! ...... I I~ II..· _" I ·:.=tJ I_'I I.=·-Il~ r » I '=.
\" If I am l uc ky, b e i no 5':::' tired
" " ~ ,-
;,' l .i ua t might keep me ,3.1iv .. ~I! I! r I!
D ill i::;:. i" l,,,I(;?,;:d thy mi:i '-I
he often deposits cans he has long, gray hair
his favorite animal is a bear Bill likes to watch sports
he is even good on the tennis court Bill i'=, full of fun
he i= not ~iolent but owns a gun Eill is :;;ev'erlty-fou'( y e e r s old he likes to wear silver and gold h~ h2~ lots of gold fish
chicken is his f~vorite dish Bill has a very old car
on his free time he goes to a bar
he lives in a building all-alone
he spends a lot of time on the phone 8111 is a \'ietn·am v'et
he also flies a jet
his hands are soft like silk he drinks coffee without milk.
This morning I w~s h3pPY
to wake and eat a beef jeYky~ then I went to school to learn 2.n d I at er on
to participate in a Thanksgiving t Ll1" key din n er .
This morning when I woke up I was happy that I was here as a part of the team
and not in New Yoy~
getting high or stealing then waking up on a train ready to chase a dream. This morning when I woke up I felt like a new man,
I eat three meals a day
and go to sleep on a bed1 and don't steal or rob or eat out of a garbage can. This morning when I woke up
I had the attitude of a positive Pete, to put my life in Project Return
and give up my life on the streets. This morning when I woke up
I was thankful to have friends that are concernedl
to come to c10ss
'.,.Jh e'( E' tei:::1t: h E"(:; -:~\ '1- ':7! t: I-II:;::'Y e
to help me lo~rn.
fre~ as a friend a friend indeed free as the air that we breathe r·,-eE! '::E3 the 10\/'2 we all need
I want to be just free
f "i- I:=:'e.' ~~ -:"7. C 2:tri bE'
until two tears fell from my left eye then the sun ~lared from the sky
this is the starting of my reply
A Vision in Mv Sky
I sit and gaze at the sky
~nd wonder where my future lies here in desperation with n6 reply I start to pray to my god getting upset with no reply wondering if all is a lie
~.:: he vo.i (: iE-' sa i d , .. ~.,rrJ2ldc, ycu g2lz ~::::' the clouds have no reply
~do you really want to know where your future lies?
IJ E:t t 8l" '/E.,t,
I asked for 2 new set of eyes h '2;' t: t ~? ~-.. )/ e t: y I i' Hi o, k If
and grateful ~o see another day.
My goals are to be drug-free, to
c ont inue my 1 i -Fe at Cl. good pace, t.c, ac h ieve sobriety, to finish this program and qraduate. I want to qEt married and live a
~ ~ .
very wonderful life~ to be the best husband
I can be to my wife and the best father to my kids. I want to get my training for the work that lId like to do in the future, I want to stop quitting on myself, to get the correct tools of life in Project Return to help me to continue to live the good life and not fall right back into the negativity that I just came f r orn , I want to l e ar n to hold my temper, not to argue but to talk at the right time; how to control myself.
As my love said, who knows what could have happened to me if I h~d stayed on the streets any longer, something really bad could have happened ... I am scared to DIE~ I have too much going for me in the future to let it ge, to waste. I ·-have my love wh 0 I arn going to marry, her name is Lucy. This girl is my life, this girl is my sweetheart, this girl helps me and she is still beside me helping. I don't know what I would do if I would lose this girl; I think I would die.
I know that I am not supposed to think like this but this feeling is too strong for me to .jL'.st let go. I have loved hey· f or 5i:,; years and I will love he~ as long as I live,
with me 0·( rio t , ~.;ill.
I LOVE HER and I always
Another person that I love is my mother. I would do anything I could to help her because she is my heart~ she is the kind of mothe~ that a lot of people would like to have. She gave me the caring, the love that a mother is supposed to give her children. My mother helped me a lot in the past, through the good parts and the very bad parts of my life. I made her happy and I mi3.de (·It?·r- s<:"\d ..
But this time around, I am going to do this for me, as well as for my mother and my lovely girl. This time there is nothing that will stop me from doing the correct thing. I will be very happy in my future and so will a lot of other people. These words come from the bottom of my heart. I know it is easy to talk and hard to walk, but I am going to do that walk. I am going to achieve my 96als and con~inue walking for the best.
JA'-j I EF.:
is the kind side of me.
knol<Jledge that is giverl to rno , I '..Jill
put to use. I can be a king in my own
way and my wife can be my queen.
K is the 11th letter of the alphabet.
E is the earning part of me--whatever I
earn, I treasure. My education is to learn to study and to strive for e:i;cellence.
E is the fifth letter of the alphabet.
I - is foy intelligence. My ability to kno'<J hoI,;! to do i mp or t an't t h i n q c , I arn I wh i 0: his ITJI:;?
I is the ninth letter of the alphabet.
T is the talented side of me. Very
tough, and I'm working on learning to trust and tell the truth.
T is the twentieth letter of the a l ph ab ec .
H - is the happy side of fiH~u I c.o\n bE.' hard-headed at times and I like to help peop 1 e who need hel p , I 1.:,v8 hut weather and I have a good hea~t.
H is the eighth letter of the alphabet.
God makes me fecI good at times when
m';;lk i ng mE'
I t 1"1 ~\r1 k 13oo:J
feel so important to be ~live.
for my every day living.
The I,;Ji lid b I OvJS"
the sun shines. 3nd the trees qrow. God is very intelligent: he had to be to fOYm up human IJ8 i ngs.
Today I feel good because I know that
God is watching OV2~ m; success. all people, good ~nd bad.
God 1 ov o sa
God is amazina because if it weren't f 0 j"- him, I W 0 u 1 d II ':' t bee, nth i sea "I" t h today. He knows the re0son I was put on this earth, but it's up to me to find out. It1s unbelievable how he has your life planned"
It's up to you to take time out and speak to someone greater than yourself. To Keith, God is so amazing'
There was a time when I found two
SEDlod with someone's name th~ onvolope. and the~e to two hundred dollar bills" thE? tim!,,", t ha t I ':E?lE~bf-ated ou't t it ..
When I reached home~ my mother's friend came to visit. She was upset for some
.1'- e ':.'. os c· i-, " 13 a ' •. J rn Y IT! ':' t r-I e ·I~ and 9 a v e Ii E··r 5 o IT! e
(Tij:ln fE.·Y' . Th E' f'r- i en d 1 eft 01 I.,2·3 k ed my iTICIt: 1-, i~ r-
what she was 50 upset about and my mother told me her friend had lost two hundred dollars. I asked my mother her friendfs
n,::;ioe. It ITl.;;ltch,=.:d the n·::\.-n,;:;: on the <'2nv(;?lop'2.
I ',.)::t5 in s.h oc kane e ;nc'r- e" I 1·.".":'U I d I-I.';:,\/e given the money back, but I had already put
..... 1 ~ "
my ·:;;urp·(i3E \.,I,,2·(e I was 50 happy at mys':?l f t Ci a ne' .....
I was ashamed, but that's life
Sometimes I do what I like to do Sometimes I do what I hate to do Sometimes I do what I have to do
But this time I'm doing what I want to do And that's saving my life fyom Dyugs
All the time and not SOMETIMES
I am twenty years old with a life that is v ev y t I"? ,,,I C h i r;,~
I wonder what it takes to make life 50 'rea,:h ing
I hear that it is very joyful on the other side
I want these things so I must searchr seek arid find
I am twenty years old with a life that is VE?r-Y teaching
I pretend that everything is o.k. with me
I feel that everything that has happened was meant to be
I touch! feel and I see those things that o;;.;--e f'( ee to me
I worry that to be apart is not to be myself I cry foY help inside and out, but what I really want is to scream and shout
I am a human being without a doubt
I understand something that I know of I make my prayer to the up above
I am to be where he is at
I try to see that I am not as perfect as t h CIt
I hop e to be loving and + han k f u I ~ for that I am a human being
My philosophy is that every person has an inborn dignity and self-pride. But pride is like a young sapling that must be
t l~ a i n e d, d i 1" e ': 'C e d 1 ",'in d nul" t u r: e d ur: til i tis able to be self-supporting, 3tanding alone in the conviction that its firm foundation can withstand any ill wind that may try to up r c'ot it.
An ill wind has stunted the growth of our pride~ but with each other's helpr we must dig our roots deeper: make our foundations stronger, and learn to combat and defeat all obstacles that stand between us and our goals, maturity, and self-pride.
Our symbol is the phoenix, which is said to have destroyed itself by fire and risen again,from its own ashes. This IS what WE, who have destroyed our lives by drug addiction, are strivi~g to do, to rise fyom the ashes of defeat to take OUY rightful place in society. Society will accept uS1 for once we have regained OUr dignity: we will be sc,,:iety.
This philosophy means that ever~ person is born with pride and like a young tree, we also must be tr~ined to grow, directed in the right direction and fed with the right foods. We will be able t~ support ourselves and be able to live on our own, with stYongr
,supportive people to talk to.
~ 'Dy~gs aYE that ill wind which has
a l m,:,st des't i" oyed our 1 i, \ies. I'~o' ... ' t hat 'dE:' a r e ~n here, we can help each other tyy to overcome the foyce that held us down, and to finish reaching the goals that we set fOr ourselves, to restore the self-pride that we once had. \
P m t h- e d 0 fly i n ';II' 17 In t i r ed c' f
h LI Y tin 9 my 1 0 v e dOll e 5 r I 1 In til" e d 0 f hut" tin 9 myself, Um tired of stealing. If you help me and I help you, toqether we will riSEr WE will rise drug-free!
Gi·(11 I love you, 11'11 all..,Jays IClve you E~ch word I say is from my heayt
My love for you will never part
'/01 .. \ h.:::t···,.-inl;i ,,\ child: 1,,,(2'11 b e a f arn i l y I'll be trUE to you, you'll be trUE? to me
I fell in love right My love for you will When I'm next to you~
f rorn the 'start nE'-y'er p ar t
my hea-( t sk ips ,,7\
7 Cau~".e 13.i r l , I lov,;? YOLl1 1711 all,.,lay·:;. 11:'">Ie yelu
You aFe one of 2 kind 'cause you'ye so Lln i qLl2
So Baby, Baby, please, you know that you're breaking my heart
I fell iii love l,.,Iith )l1:IU \~i~lht f r orn the st-'::\·r-t So 8aby, Baby, please. don't eveF leave me You know that I love you so much, I don't ever want to let you
Each day and night I think of you
And all the wonderful things that you and I I:i':"tn do
I'll hold you tight each and every night 'Cau::::.e ,,,lh'2n ",.'27.,.- e mak in 9 l':IV>2, it s:-end-:::. iii'? on a flight
:~r:.:j l3i"(1 ~ I lCl\lt;:, y'J:ILt~ alJ~.·./C:"1'y/~5 +hi n k i no of you When we're alone sitting in the par~
I feel so warm with you ne~t to my heort
So don't you go, don't you go~ Baby,
I sit alone at night with you always on my rn i nd
Wondering if you know that I love you so
(-ind i f ~/ou l,o,Je-,. t:? togo? I don 7 t kno',y 'r.lh .-:::\t I'd do
You make me 50 happy being next to you
I am a pe~son who is confused about a lot of things.
I wonder, why do people play with each other's feelings.
I hear a lot of different meanings for the J.Hel'( dill CI\/e. II.
I want somebody to love me for me. r am a very heartbroken person.
I pretend to be a peyson who doesn't care. r f.;2el huv t .
I touch a lot of feelings within myself. I worry about being close to someone.
I cry inside when my feelings have been p l ayed '""i t h .
I am a ve~y caring person.,
I understand a little about loving someone. I say things that come from the heart.
I d~eam about doing a lot of wonderful
th ings ''''!i th hE·"('.
I try to understand and be considerate of
I hope that one day we can be toqether. I need love.
I am tired of hurting and crying inside.
,1\1 I CI-!OLrC'jS
roday is my nineteenth birthday and I am residing at the Project Return
r:-ound z\t ion. I h a ve b E?en her e fOr' al most
t h r e e weeks. I have just sta:rted s;.chool today and I am very excited. I finally feel like I am doing the Tight thing for the first time in my life. I don't ever want to forget the terrible things I have done~ but I do want to learn fyom my mistakes and get on ., ..... i t h my I i f e •
My son is with S.C.S. and is very sad and confused because he doesn't understand why he is not with me. I really miss him 3 lot and it hurts me a great deal to know that I took being a mother for granted and
th.::ti; it i a my fault that rl'? is suffei··irl';l. I
!';1I'::",4 thc;,t I have to get my Ii f2 t,:'gethej" 11': o~der to get my baby back and be the be~t mother I can be to him. Tomorrow is the fii···::;l; t,imG he is coming to se'2 In":=: si.n,::e the-:, took him away from me and I don't know what I am going to say to him. His birthday is on Fyid~y, and I feel very bad that I can't be w i t h him, but I !'Tlo,,,,,"that I am g.;.?ttifi.} myself together and will have many more birthdays to spend with him to make up for this one. I am going to tell him the truth and hope he will understand.
I have a man in my life and I care foy him a great deal but I1ve hurt him too. He
loves me very much and is very happy that
.:!iTI f i na l Ly d oi n o :::.c'mething f,:1j~ mY'3el L 1··1.,,:
loves and misses my son very much. He
t..,) EI.r~1 t od !Ti~/ s I:,n t CI s'I,:: ,';ty· ~.,.I i "I.; h hi en b LJ t h':t ~ n ':1 on~ to care for him while he works.
I have a lot of problems to work out~ so I am going to take it one day at a time and pray to God for the strength that I
r·leed .. I h'::\\/l'2 mc\ny other- pr ooLernc but I hElVE': to solve them one day at a time and take it
Vei" y s1 O',J.
llh ate 2\ II H~rlCC? n Lf. __ i'::~'.!.L .. J:J 2. k e
() _F 'r- ~Q.!1 d \Q.._,~_T. c .
She was 2. good friend. We used to sit and talk about arryt h i nq ,
When she was happy~ I ~JE\S h eq:, p y t c,,:, " But when she leftr I ~)CtS vei~:',.-' s2\d.
I fl:tilt I '..),:."tS 10:::."1; but I am better now,
and I 1 ea'r-n,::;?d
never to get close to anyone in a T.e,
Tod6y is a day to describe every day whethe~ Joking or sErious, at work
or ~tl; p 1 -:3 ~/ "
The d~y we were born, until the day ~ ... Ii~ die?
the day we stop laughing is the day
The day ,_'" hen '''' e c r a ,,"" 1 un til t rHO? day I,.,J e w <cd !-: , the day we are silent until the day we talk. From the day we are a boy until the day
we are 2 young man,
is the day we are learning but still don't urrder st and ..
It's not until the day we are old, close to the day l..,Je d i'2,
oh that day we realize and start to wonder, ',Nh ~,l'?
We must live each day on 2 day-to-day b as i a ,
or each day moves too fast and for that day we lose our places.
SCI f,:<r t ocl ay I t.::\ke heed, for tl:lmo'j~i--O".IV=,not he;--e,
foy yesterday I didn't and tomorrow's not .: 1 i:;?·3"( :t
A jealous mind produces jealous thoughts, l'.lh 2n ,,1.1'-, en vi o us:· e'/e is 1.:.3t I: hi n 9 ,
The w~nting of love that one man courts, But the othey pa~ty has forgotten.
Deceit ~nd mistrust was tele'd to you,
Her guilt-filled actions induced this state, Transgression of faith almost threw you
Into a character of purest hate.
Pain sets in and registers in your brain. Your heart calls it a wild delusion. Look! There it goes once again,
So here I must draw a conclusion,
My mind tries to reason when it comes to 10V9, that's true:
But my hea~t may resort to arms, what shall I d I: ..•. If r?
lrJ ILL I Alvl
As the moonlit sky send my mind on a journey into a realm no one wishes to return
f r orn 't I jV'T'C,n deY', 'nih ~,l'? yJh y d CISS an c\n i in~l.l
TIu~h as man Q~i5t? Why does woman posses3 the power of reproduction? Why does the
12,:::-\ r'- t: h ;,4 Cj t ,:1 tEo ori .':i.n .. :~ ~/~ i z' '? 1,~JI'l)/ is II '.HII ~/'? II
As I journey deeper and deeper within
myself, there are other topics that attract
my attention, such as the powers every man, woman, and child alike conceive.
These powers are the power of sight which gives us the power to visualize our surroundings, li~e a rose garden~ so florid and beautiful. Like the hope that lies at the end of a multicolored rainbow.
Like the power of touch which enables us t,:, d i f f er errt a a t e smoot b fr orn rough, fine from coarse, as marble is to sandpaper, as a lion~5 tongue is to glass.
Like the power of smell which picks up that which is aromatic, and also detects a wretched stench that sets one's teeth on edge. The power of taste to savor the succulent dishes passed down from generation to generation to tantalize our tastebuds, or the poway to detest the bitter savor of a lemon. The power to hear, to distinguish sounds with cl~rity. To hear sound waves t!"li.:d; Ci::"\n v i b r eto in hc:\O(iTlony th.o\t c an so:,otrH2
These powers mystify me,
but ctill the journey continues.
As I continue my trek further within myself, crossing many boundaries that need inspecting, dissecting every question that comes to mind, drawing sane and rational, but 0.lnlJiguous ,:,:'nclusions, I .:ontinue my quest. I shall let things take their course of Co·( my j Ot'\"r"rH-?Y sh,;:;.ll be et eYrlal . On,: e again, as I said) this is a realm which no man, woman or child wishes to return from.
10ts:, I stc,!::,: 1.=,,;:.;,,:, _and ',.,I,:'nder-r it fills me ~ .... it: h glee ~
This object af beauty that comes fyom the
At the top there are ridges so proportionally prscise,
of a living creature ..•• amoy-device. There's an opening in the side with edges ';,:;;harp ~
To depict it::: be;;;'Iuty, I shall CEdI it ar-tArt from a source so naturally pure;
The inner compartment looks safe and secure. The creature who shedded this shell is disgrace,j
unless it found one of more beauty to put in i t =, p Lac e •
This piece of work ..•. 1 don't understand; It was brought to me from a distant land. To look and observe it, I have, with much pI ea';;ur e:
T,hanks, l'\otrH?1~ Na+ur e , I'll ,:herish this t r- 2,:15U'( e.
Out Goes The Old and In Comes The New
Eighty-eight has come and now it is gone, It has left one message to carryon.
The message is hard times, nothing but
s t r i fe,
So much that it practically shattsrd my 1 i fe.
I r obb ad , I stole, I ""'heeled~ arid I d e a Le d , I thought I would never surrender or yield. JanuarYr February, I relaxed just a bit, Look where I am now, so that doesn't
mea.n S--- ..
My daughter was born in March of that year, On the day of her birth, I laughed and I cheer" ed.
That pleasure continued for just a few weeks,
I played with her and giggled, and pinched hEn- cute cheeks.
Now I am accountable and there is no more derry i rin ,
F:ight after that~ I got high, it's the t r u t h , 1'm not 1 yin ';;1 •
I hurt ~y girl truly, but we'rE still t c1gethel' r
She stuck by my side in the roughest kind of weather- .
That's enough of the old, now it's time for the [-leW;
Let me tell you about the things that I plan t,:, do 1
I'm in a program now, called Project Return, To battle my addiction, to prosper and lecn-n"
Day by day I am learning and things go by smooth,
The guilt from past mistakes, I've learned h C,W to SCIl;lt he.
I paced myself nicely to prosper and grow, I .3cquil""ed one ".jewel" ... to apply what Y':'LI kno'"J .
That jewel in itself is something to t r e ~::~ S Lt 'r- e 1
It can bring me joy, anger, pain, or pi eclSLI"(" e.
It's all up to me to do as I planned,
To stop acting childish and gyOW as a man.
I must Handle responsibility with my feet on the g~"ound
Inste~d of running from my problems and not
wanting to be found. "
I have a head on my shoulders that I must leayn how to use,
Instead of killing myself like the year I abu";;;ed
My body, BLlt now
mv brain, my heart, and I am learning to make it
my sou L, ':'nce again
wh o l e ,
I thank my higher power for giving me the st"j"-ength,
I pray to him to allow me to go the length.
~'J I LL I A 1"1
I would like to be a fish down in the water/ Just to swim with the flow, to see the beautiful sights, and be able to live amongst them. One that is capable of surviving down in the coral reef surrounded by lovely sea anemones. The deep has always been a fantasy of mine--to experience
U'idei"-I.;!"at e"r- I i f,;? Be i ng a fish ~ I welu I d not
only experience these things~ I would be a p~rt of the experience. I would be able to journey as far and as long as I wish. I would like to be strong and mighty, to be able to conquer whatever predators that should happen to come my way. It would be a pleasure to be part of the sea life
Maybe it would be mpre elusive than the world of humans which i~ dominated by negative people. The sea life has been tampered with so much that its beauty is
51 .:.'",;1 y Ijec ay i n';l . If it was eve"r- po":;":; i til ':2 ~ I
would be the dominating, cultivated fish that would end the crisis and rejuvenate the fish population to become what it was on~e before, the most beautiful sight ever presented to the eyes of mankind.
(.) T'r-ue F;-- iend
This friend has been a friend since I
fi 'jr st met hi iTI. t·Jf!2 h av e t ,3.1 ked t ':'gethe'(, ',.,Ie
have shared our thoughts. TherE are still things that we have not found out about each other, but we have shared deep thoughts. There' is no rush to become familiar because we both know the friendship is there.
We have many things that we share in common, one of which is being blessed with beautiful young women who love us dearly. We both share the loneliness of being without them in our lives now, but we conversate about that and our conversations
alone keep us going.
We are both sensitive people who have a great deal of concern fo~ the loved ones in our life. I feel this extra sensitivity is a gift that was given to us, because not many men have the gift of being sensitive and understand it. We give the la~ies in our lives the utmost respect and concern that they could receive at anyone given time.
I want this friend of mine to continue to grow 25 he is doing at the present time. We realize that we put ourselves into this T~C. and that our wives-Iov2rs-and-friendsall-wrapped-up-into-one care for us forever and a day and one day we shall return into
t h si i-- i:'tl~!TIS. spilled milk.
So to this friend I say thank you for beinq '!0U~ also thank you for being a f-r-iendy 'arid togf?ths'(, only if ',.;e wOI-k togetheY, can we forever remain friends.
There is no need to cry over