The Female Alpha

When most people hear the phrase ‘female alpha’ they think of the most attractive, powerful or domineering woman they know. However, female alphas are not so easily recognizable. They might be beautiful or bossy or authoritative, but this is not what defines them. The easiest way to spot a female alpha is in a room or group of females. You can easily figure out who the alpha is by observing the following female alpha phenomena: 1. Alpha females are social conductors; non-alpha females are her orchestra. Next time you are at a party or networking event, try this fascinating experiment: Find a group of three or more females —you do not need to be close enough to hear them, they should just be in your line of sight. Put a five-minute timer on your phone or watch and take note of the direction of the women’s feet. Almost always women point their toes towards the person they are most interested in or who they feel is leading the group’s tempo. In only five minutes you will be able to see where the majority of the women are pointing their feet. Amazingly, you will notice that most of the women in the group will be pointing towards the same woman–even if they are in a circle and even if that woman is not talking. 2. All females follow the alpha’s social cues. Once you have an inclining of who the female alpha is of the group, move closer (or, if you are a woman, you can even join the circle). You will notice that the entire group is taking ‘social cues’ from the alpha. Women will hold their body like her, they will talk in the same voice tone and other females will even laugh for the same amount of time as the alpha does. By the way female alpha behavior is harder to spot in a group of mixed sexes—males confuse the female attention spans. 3. When the female alpha leaves, a social vacuum is created.

In the book. 6.’ This is because in a group of women with very low female alpha tendencies no one is sure how to act. when THE female alpha (and there can only be one. We have very little awareness of how important and how much we do in fact rely on female alphas. From a very young age girls are taught—far more than boys. Some women are only social alphas around certain groups of friends. social and control freaks. they start conversations. Female alphas actually make it easier for a group of girls to interact because there is one unspoken leader. they introduce people. It is more of a spectrum. 8. Men would describe it as ‘awkward. They enjoy social conducting. . There can only be one female alpha per cluster. leaders. being the leader and/or the center of attention. gossipers. or the group disperses. Some women only like being female alpha’s in their home. 5. she will most likely be able to tell you her ‘degree’ of social alpha-ness. Girls get very good at reading other’s emotions and adapting to the tone of a group. We have all experienced (whether we knew it or not) a group without an alpha female. There must be at least one alpha female. Alpha females are social lubrication and business mediators. but not in the business environment. However. Either conversation stops completely and female members look around expectantly for a new alpha. they smooth over business disagreements and take charge. maybe two words: Disaster and Drama. On a ten point scale she might be a seven or a four. There are different degrees of female alpha-ness. We are groomed to either accept or become female alphas. The female alpha with the higher degree of alpha-ness usually takes charge and the second alpha female backs down–well. both good and bad: connectors.’ ‘weird. seethes. bossy. self-centered. 7. for example. queen bees. see below for details) you will see something odd happen. there must only be one alpha female. plots revenge and then backs down. she discusses the evolutionary and biological importance for females to get along and keep harmony in a group. What happens when there are two female alphas in an office? One word: Disaster. “The Female Brain” by Louann Brizendine. Or.’ or ‘boring. to share. When non-alpha’s leave the group nothing much happens—conversation continues. There are many names for them. Some women have a high tendency to be alpha. chatty. 4. the gap closes and group members move-on. Female alphas actually have the very important role of social lubrication. the life of the party. but there also has to be AT LEAST one. cooperate and play fair.Another way you can spot the female alpha of a group is by watching how each group member exits. they tell jokes. what to talk about or the social pace. Oddly. In social groups most of the female drama comes when there are two alpha females competing to be the social conductor and non-alpha females (or alpha females to a lesser degree) are not sure who to follow. They bring social ease to a group. Female alpha-hood is not like pregnancy (you are or you aren’t). If you explain the female alpha phenomenon to a woman.

if you are a female alpha. They provide conversation. Nu’s are fillers. Omega’s: (The last letter of the Greek Alphabet) The victims. Zeta’s: The jokester. here are what they would be: Alphas: Leaders Betas: Side-kicks or enforcers of alpha leadership. It is actually very helpful to know the female alphas in your life—or recognize if you in fact are one yourself. the weaklings or the “C” in a female troika are always picked on or treated with loving condescension. often forgotten) The Invisibles. the forgotten girls whose quiet or shy demeanor often means they are not included or counted. Most groups have a female jester. avoiding other female alphas who challenge you. If I had to put a label on the different most typical female roles in group settings. You will find yourself appreciating them in awkward social situations or. Female Alphas are the top of the hierarchy.This leader sets the tone for the group and allows girls to get along without having a power struggle. gossip and support for the Alpha. Do you know the female alphas in your life? . the bullied. clown. goofball of the group. comic relief. (See my article on Female Troikas) Sampi’s: (An obsolete letter of the Greek Alphabet. Nu’s: The exact middle letter of the Greek Alphabet. 9.

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