Thee find thyself plunked into the role of Generic Savior of the World.

What wil l be thine first course of action? A: B: C: D: Destroy the evil threatening the lands. Fortify the castle for the final battle. Hone your skills at swordplay. Kill rats in a sewer.

(Incorrect answer: A) Venturing forth into the lands, thee make an important realization: thou art inc ompetent. Ye flee from an anemic goblin back to the safety of town. (Incorrect answer: B) Thine offers to buffer the stone walls of the castle with mud and feces are soun dly scoffed at by King Norbert. (Death answer: C) Whilst practicing with thine wooden sword, thou stab thyself multiple times. Death. The world is doomed. (Correct answer: D) Lo and behold, the sewers doth sparkle; cleansed of the plague of rodents that o nce infested them. Why this land's hero is reduced to homely ratcatcher, thou sh alt never know, but somehow thou felt it was the only choice available. What wil l be thine next move? A: B: C: D: Retire to your studies to analyze ancient lore. Slay the dragon that devours villagers on a daily basis. Collect pieces of some useless bauble. Teach the villagers to defend themselves using crude farming implements.

(Incorrect answer: A) Tragically, though muscular and heroic thine literacy is questionable. (Incorrect answer: B) Nuub'killeh, the dreaded black dragon of Forboding Hills laughs hysterically at thine slaying efforts. Fortuitously, the dragon is far too full of peasant meat to devour ye. (Death answer: D) The villagers, not appreciating thy intrusive demeanor and irritating voice, use their newfound combat abilities to oust thy sorry behind. Death. The world is doomed. (Correct answer: C) With it's 13 shards put back together, the fabled Item of Significance has been restored to it's full glory! Surely the plot would have never advanced without i t. However, the forces of darkness gather in the ... darkness. The world has pre cious little time, ye must move fast!

A: B: C: D:

Wander around and do anything that suits your fancy. Seriously, that castle is looking pretty shabby. Attack the enemy directly. Grow a valiant looking moustache.

(Death answer: B) King Norbert allows ye access to a building budget and the castle's workforce, b ut sadly thou cheap castle materials crumble from the walls and crush ye on the second day of work. Tightwad. Death. The world is doomed. (Incorrect answer: C) Ye battle the minions of darkness for a while, but decide to turn back when thy lay eyes on Midboss the Destroyer, Dread Guardian of Evil. Coward. (Incorrect answer: D) Thy moustache looks most gallant. What? You wanted a valiant looking one? Do you even know what a moustache looks like? (Correct answer: A) Traveling the land, helping those in need along the way, ye happen upon The Blad e of MacUber III, The Shield of Improbable Durability, and A Huge Backpack. Thes e artifacts will prove most vital in this war, though it strikes ye as strange t hat the sword and shield were both in unlocked chests in plain sight when to obt ain the backpack thou had to do chores and deliveries for 23 random strangers. N onetheless, thou are now well equipped; time to decide thine next task. A: Amass a hoard of riches the likes of which the world has never seen. B: Unite the world to fight back the demonic menace. C: Continue to mill about and procrastinate, knowing full well that time is limi ted. D: Charge headlong into the evil fortress. (Death answer: A) Thine large piles of wealth, while marvelously opulent, pose a significant safet y hazard. Ye drown. Death. The world is doomed. (Incorrect answer: B) Mysteriously, while travelling eastward to other kingdoms, thou art stopped dead in thy tracks by an invisible force; almost like a wall. Troubling. (Incorrect answer: C) Fruitless. (Correct answer: D) After several hours of the tedious slaughter of woefully underpowered minions, y e arrive in a large empty room. Taking a step forward, thy prompt the lord of th ese vile creatures to reveal himself! Tis none other than Phlegmisoth, thine swo rn nemesis. How will thou defeat this powerful foe?

A: B: C: D:

Attack him mindlessly. Find something on him that glows red and attack that mindlessly. Find something in the environment to use against him. Drink a potion every three seconds, and keep using "Soul Annihilate X".

(Death answer: A) The cold steel of Phlegmisoth's oversized blade doth impale ye thoroughly. Death. The world is doomed. (Death answer: B) Phlegmisoth has a bit of acne, so ye strike at his unfortunate affliction. Unfor tunately he is somewhat sensitive about it, and is whipped into a bloodthirsty r age. Ye last little longer than an anemic goblin would have. Death. The world is doomed. (Death answer: C) Dude. Large empty room? Ye circle idiotically for a while, but soon thy head is exploded by a potshot. Death. The world is doomed. (Correct answer: D)