Human for a Day:

A Purim Masquerade
::n:
:c
c::: : c::
For behold, there stood before me one who was in
appearance like a man. (Daniel 8:15)
The High Holiday Committee
of
The Yeshiva Shel Maaleh
Our Stamp is Truth
Black Fire on White Fire
Publishing
With Concern to the Entirety of the Heavenly Host:
To both the Office of the Prosecutor and to the Defending Angel Trust,
And to our Most Honorable Scholars in theYeshiva Called "Above":
It is with overwhelming glee that we await the upcoming Day of Judgement - namely, the holiday of
Purim. As you know all too well, it is on Purim that we - as God's team of prosecutors, defenders, and
expounders of the Law - investigate the full spectrum of human merit and iniquity, debate the extent of
earthly innocence and guilt, and submit our final, unfiltered Angelic Judgement to the Hearer of our
Praises. That He, in His infinite but perplexing wisdom, allows for special re-trial on Yom Kippur is an
unfortunate fact in which those Torah-Usurping fleshies take far too much pride. But they are at least
correct in sensing that Yom Kippur is essentially just another Purim. (One such mortal, having
somehow gained access to the One True Yeshiva, even learned the holiday's hidden name: Yom
k'Purim.)
Which explains why they've made Yom Kippur into one big masquerade! For a full day they costume
as angels: dressing in the purest whites (as if we can't see the sins that stain them) while praying and
alleluiaing all day (like it were the purpose for which they were created!); even refraining from the
carnal digestions and secretions that are their trademark; and most garish of all, taking on all sorts of
pious behaviors whose performance they clearly fail to take seriously the rest of the year. Yes, the
greatest costume party of the calendar year! (Anyone yet have a handle on the footwear?) Yom Kippur
is their attempt to erase the line between man and angel, and thus convince the Am-I-Am that what
they areis something more than a rotting blur.
But we are not willing to just hover around and take it. This Purim, we've engineered a bold counter-
attack. The Infinite One has long complained that there is something lacking in our angelic reports.
Something . . . this pains me . . . human . . .that since we know not of sin or sex or want or death, our
judgements somehow miss the mark. So this year, we shall join the Adamites in celebrating their
version of Purim. (We understand it has some relation to what they call "history", but our best people
have yet to find any mention of it in the Torah.) We shall descend to
949 Columbus, Apt 1, at 2:30pm on Purim Day Sunday, March 16
and taste, for one day, of all things human. Yes, there will be much meat, and much wine, and as much
laughter and sin and song (the kind you "hear") as we can act out for one day. (We are still studying
how the humans arrange for lust.) But around this rousing sit-down feast, our Day of Judgement shall
proceed. Out of the boozy, saucy haze we will invoke the Thirteen Attributes, we will contemplate the
Forbidden Relations, perhaps pursue a suitable Scapegoat, and perform many other familiar elements
of the Judgement cycle. The Council of Ophanic Angels and I truly believe that this utter descent into
the earthy condition will inspire ever more bold defenses, hearty prosecutions, and adventurous Torah
insights. Angels: come, let us masquerade as men.
With Approval of the Throne,
Metatron
Act 1: Kol Nidre
or
Permission to Deceive
n:n c::;n n:x:sn nv: :v: x:n ;:: c:;:n nv: :v :c n::c:: ,
:::c n::c:n ,n:v: , c:x: :n:nn: ;::n: ::x c:
With the approval of The Place, blessed be He,
With the approval of This Holy Retinue,
In the Yeshiva of Above
Our Yeshiva
We hereby sanction acting like a human
::::c: :vc:: :::s:: :::x: ::::v: :;c: ::: ::
x:nc:: :v x:n: ::: x::::: ::: x:vc: ::: x:c: ::: x::: ::
c::c: cn::v x:c n:n c:::::n c:: :v :vc c:::n c:::
;:n: x::nnx ;:n::
;:;::c: ;:n::c ;:n: ;:n:: , ;::::; x:: ;::c x:
:c: x: x:c: , :ox x: x:ox: , n:::c x: x:n:::c:
All pledges and dishonesty, all suffering and pleasure-eating, all mitzvot and transgression, and all
drunkenness
That we will vow, that we will feel, that we will merit, that we will sin, and that will give breath to our
souls -
From this Purim day to the next Purim day (that arrives upon [time-bound humans] through [the
Sephiric operator] Peace) -
It is all pretend.
All of it is permitted; all of it is allowed; none of it is real; none of it will last.
These sensations are not ours; these sins are not true sin; this intoxication is not from drink.
!"#$%& ## $'& (!)* +%!,$ (%- , $.$ /-.% !",#0$! !"-##1! !"##2$3
Blessed are You, Sovereign of The Earth, who gave us now Life, made us now Substance, and
brought us into this thing called Time.
Act 2: Kategor, Prosecutor of Israel
or
Permission to Perceive
The service begins with the Kadish, in the Mussaf/Neilah tune composed in Heaven, but which
was subsequently brought to Earth.
x : n_ :c c : ; n: : : : : n: . ;:x : ::: :_:n :: ;\::_:\: :: ;\::_:n : n_n:: : : ;:::: : n_n:v: x: : : x::v :
::; ;:: :: x : : v : :_xc: n:_ : . ;_:; ::x : : x:::v :_::v:: c:v: ;:: x : n_:c x_n: : ; : n: . n : n c: :
x:n ;:: x c : ;: n_:c ::nn:: n:vn:: :nn:: x_c:n:: c:\n:: x : n: : . :: ;: x:_v : ::: x :_ v : x:_v :
x : : v : ;::x: x n : n: : x n n : c n x n : c : x n : : . ;_:; ::x : :
One angel calls to the other three times; they then repeat three times:
c x - : v - :\o ; :: n , c : zx: :_n ::
If it does please The King,
let the sentence be: destroy them. (Esther 3:9)
One angel calls to the others with the first line, and they respond in bold:
:x: cc: n:n :v: c:s:: n:n cv: n:; : cx:: ;o:c: :::: n:n cvn ;::v: x: ;:
: : o_ :c n - ;; n , o :c: n cv: x:
The Judge of the Earth must enact justice! (Genesis 18:25)
Repeating after the Calling Angel:
n::;o: . n::c: . xn::::
n::n v nx ;:::v:
But Stone. And Flame. And Exile
Remove the Verdict of Guilt
To symbolize Israel's sins, the xon :::: , Wine of Sin, is sprinkled 8 times upon a pair of white
garment. One angel sprinkles, while another counts:
nnx , nnx: nnx , c::nc: nnx , c::c: nnx , v:x: nnx , c:n: nnx , cc: nnx , v:c: nnx .
One. One & One. One & Two. One & Three. One & Four. One & Five. One &Six. One & Seven
Act 3: Sanegor, Defender of Israel
or
Permission to Reprieve
The service begins with a celebratory tune:
:v :: n : - c::_::_v z :\o: c: ::n: n
(Esther 8:8)
Sentence the Jews as righteous in your eyes!
One angel calls to the others with the first line, and they respond in bold:
:x: cc: n:n :v: c:s:: n:n cv: nxc: cx:: ;::s :::: n:n cvn n\:s:: x: :;:
:; c : n x : n : n;
(Malakhi 1:2)
For I am in love with you!, says the Lord.
One angel calls to the others, in the tune of the 13 Middot
:v cn :x ::: : - ::: : , ; n s: :
)4 -&567 ! . +#8 $9: & . ;< =<>8& $? )? @ . '4 A4 %5# . /B C ;< % . '4& #8'5-81D$7 ! -
#8 '#8 )< C . +? %E, '#8)<*8% E=8 & . E,<)7.< % . !#? )D2F . '4 &< ! - #8 '#8 )< C . +#81G
And Abraham fell upon his face . . . and he laughed!:
And God. Said. Sarah your wife. Will birth. A son to you. And I will keep with him
My Promise. With him an Eternal Promise. And with his children. After him. For my
Promise I shall keep (Genesis 17)
To symbolize Israel's purity, the nxon :: , Waters of Cleaning , are sprinkled 8 times upon the white
garment. One angel sprinkles, while another counts:
nnx , nnx: nnx , c::nc: nnx , c::c: nnx , v:x: nnx , c:n: nnx , cc: nnx , v:c: nnx .
One. One & One. One & Two. One & Three. One & Four. One & Five. One &Six. One & Seven
The service ends with a celebratory tune:
;::_x n :n: ::_ ::c n n ::c: : c:; : :::_ :: c_ : n
Return us to you, O Lord, and we will return! Make it new, as it used to be!
Act 4: Avodat Yeshiva Shel Maaleh
or
The Verdict
Incense is lit, signaling the arrival of the Yeshiva Shel Maaleh. They are introduced:
Let us now relate the power of Purim's holiness, for it is awesome and frightening. It is true that God alone is the
One Who judges, proves, knows, and bears witness; but we write and count and calculate.
We will open the Book of Records; the great shofar will be sounded and a still, thin sound will be heard.
All angels will hasten, a trembling and terror will seize them - and they will say, 'Behold, it is the Day of Purim, He
calls the Heavenly Host to provide judgement!'
All mankind will pass before us like members of the flock. Like a shepherd pasturing his flock, making sheep pass
under his staff, so shall we cause to pass, count, calculate, and consider the soul of all the living; and we shall
inscribe their verdict.
::n n: c::::: c:::: ::_n:: c::: c:::
On Purim will be inscribed and on Yom K'purim will be sealed: how many souls will pass from the heavens down in
birth; and how many shall return to heaven down from earth.
They review the methods by which the Law and the Verdict may be analyzed, in the tune of the
13 Middot:
v:: c ::: :::: :v :
)-!2! %1 . H)I! %%J *& /#"* $!!3 $).0 . .
%J! H)I HB)I% (#)K3 %%J %%J! H)I! %%J % . .
+#*!'J #"3 AB -? %$ )*A )*A %J )*A %J )*A %J )*A %J . . . . .
And God passed before his [R. Yishmael's] face, and he drashed!
A fortiori. Similar phrase. Applicable law. General and particular. Particular and
general. General and particular and general. General that requires the particular. Any
thing . . . (x4). Context. Resolved Contradiction.
If the Yeshiva so determines, a scapegoat (written on paper) is selected from the lot.
Ana Ha-shem: O Lord, they have acted iniquitously, trespassed, sinned before You. Ana Ha-shem: O Lord, forgive their
iniquities, transgressions, and sins that Thy holy people, committed before Thee for it is not their fault. Theirs is a time of
(insert any relevant scapegoat: doubt / rage / science / liberty / lust / plenty / waste / etc.) and today we - The Yeshiva
Shel Maaleh - rule You ought place Your Zeal upon (insert selected scapegoat), for were it not for (scapegoat), Your people
would surely be as angels.
The scapegoat (written on paper) is taken outside, torn asunder, and cast down into the
backyard.
If a shofar is available, let it resound.
The full kaddish is recited, in a celebratory tune, pausing before the last line:
x : n_ :c c : ; n: : : : : n: . ;:x : ::: :_:n :: ;\::_:\: :: ;\::_:n : n_n:: : : ;:::: : n_n:v: x: : : x::v :
::; ;:: :: x : : v : :_xc: n:_ : . ;_:; ::x : : x:::v :_::v:: c:v: ;:: x : n_:c x_n: : ; : n: . n : n c: :
: n_:c ::nn:: n:vn:: :nn:: x_c:n:: c:\n:: x : n: : x:n ;:: x c : ; .
:: ;: x:_v : ::: x:_v: x:_v : x::v: ;::x: xn:n:: x n n : c n xn:c: x n : : . ;_:; ::x :
;_:; : : x : x : : c : : : ;\n::x c:; :_ x c: n:_ : ::: ;\nn:v:: ;\nn\:s : :;nn
:_ x c: : : : v : :::_:v c: : n : x : : c ; : x: x::c x_n: . ;_:; ::x :
The garment is turned around, revealing only the unstained white.
c\:cn nc\v ;:; : : x : :_xc: : : : v : :::_:v c\:c n c v: x:n :::\ : :
He Makes Peace in His Heavens;
He Makes Peace for Us;
Now let Him Make Peace for Israel!