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option=com_content&view=article&id=88:jennifer-elaine-or-jerryedward&catid=55:cross-dressing& temid=!" Jennifer Elaine... or Jerry Edward? #$ressing%as%a%woman%gave%me%excitement&%sex'al%and%emotional&%pleas're&% and%a%wonderf'l%means%to%temporarily%escape%from%my%hated%existence%as%a% man.# %co'ld%see%my%reflection%in%the%window%pane%of%the%doctor(s%office.%)omehow% % had%managed%to%nervo'sly%*ite%off%my%lipstic+.%,%moment%later&%with%a%fresh% application%of%lipstic+%and%perf'me&% %was%more%than%ready%for%my%long-awaited% appointment.% %ga-ed%o't%the%window&%and%co'ld%see%the%trees%t'rning%from%green%to%flaming% shades%of%red.% %m'ttered%to%myself&%#.his%is%also%my%change%of%seasons.%,t% last/#% .he%receptionist%interr'pted%my%tho'ghts%saying&%#0ennifer&%the%doctor%is%ready% to%see%yo'%now.#%)he%led%me%down%the%hall%to%an%office%with%a%large%st'ffed% chair. 1in'tes%later&% %*egan%reco'nting%my%story%to%the%sympathetic%psychiatrist.%)he% listened&%pro*ed&%2'estioned.% %was%pleased%that%she%was%so%attentive%to%what% % had%to%say.%# %love%yo'r%dress&#%she%said&%telling%me%that% %made%a%very% attractive%woman.%# %wish% %co'ld%loo+%half%as%nice%as%yo'&#%she%sighed&%then% pa'sed.%#0ennifer&%when%did%yo'%first%*egin%cross-dressing?#% 1y%mind%immediately%raced%*ac+%to%the%age%of%fo'r&%when% %had%contracted% polio.%$ressing%li+e%1ommy%was%already%an%important%part%of%my%life%*y%then.% 3ven%at%that%age% %was%coming%to%the%concl'sion%that% %was%a%mista+e&%that% % wasn(t%a%girl%li+e% %was%s'pposed%to%*e.% ,s%we%tal+ed%a*o't%my%childhood&% %d'g%into%my%p'rse%for%some%more%4leenex.% %didn(t%want%my%mascara%to%r'n&%and% %hadn(t%planned%on%crying%so%m'ch.%# (m% ma+ing%a%fool%of%myself&%aren(t% .#% .he%doctor%too+%my%hand%in%hers.%#5o'%poor&%poor%dear.% %don(t%'nderstand%why% yo'%have%gone%thro'gh%all%of%this%torment.%6't% %will%see%to%it%that%yo'(ll%*e% feeling%lots%*etter%very%soon.#%.hen%she%*egan%writing%a%prescription.%#.his% medication%m'st%*e%ta+en%j'st%as%directed&#%she%said%firmly.%#5o'%will%*egin%to% notice%some%physical%changes%in%a%few%months%time.%6e%patient/#% 7ater%when%the%pharmacist%handed%me%the%*ag%containing%my%pills&%the%very% medication%that%wo'ld%transform%my%whole%life&%my%hands%shoo+%with% indescri*a*le%excitement.%,t%last&%my%*ody%wo'ld%ta+e%on%the%female% characteristics% (d%longed%to%have%from%the%age%of%a%preschooler.% %wo'ld% *ecome%a%woman%li+e%my%1ommy.% 1

.a+ing%hormones%of%the%opposite%sex.%8ons'lting%with%a%sex-change%therapist.% $ressing%as%a%female%in%private%and%p'*lic.%9ften%inflicting%harm%to%myself%in% f'tile%attempts%to%rid%myself%of%the%despised%male%genitalia.%,ll%of%it%seemed%to% *i-arre.%:hy?% %was%a%married%man&%the%father%of%two%wonderf'l%children&%and% an%active%ch'rch%mem*er%as%well%as%in%8hristian%leadership%roles.%1y%wife%was% an%a*sol'te%delightf'l%woman%to%live%with.% %wondered%how%this%wife%of%my% yo'th%wo'ld%react%to%my%physical%changes.%:o'ld%it%mean%divorce?%9r%wo'ld%we% contin'e%to%live%together%as%my%ideal%fantasy%wo'ld%have%it&%as%two%women?% ;ot&%that%wo'ld%never%wor+&% %tho'ght%in%disg'st.% Early Memories:% )ince%my%earliest%memories&%my%closest%friends%had%*een%female&%and%they%had% eagerly%accepted%me%as%one%of%their%own.% %loved%*eing%incl'ded%in%the%world%of% the%feminine&%dressing%every%chance% %got%in%1om(s%things&%or%those%of% neigh*orhood%girlfriends.% %had%always%lived%with%the%ha'nting%reali-ation%that% having%a%*oy%wasn(t%my%parent(s%first%choice&%either.% # %wish%yo'%were%a%girl%so%that%yo'%co'ld%one%day%ta+e%over%my%*ea'ty%shop&#% my%mother%wo'ld%often%say.%)he%reg'larly%dressed%me%in%girl(s%things%when% % was%a%preschooler&%thin+ing%it%a%harmless%activity.%% 1y%worst%day%on%planet%earth%was%my%first%day%of%school.% t%was%that%morning% that%1om%sat%on%the%edge%of%my%*ed%and%told%me%that% %wo'ld%not%*e%allowed%to% wear%girl(s%dresses%to%school.% :hen% %dressed%as%a%girl%with%the%other%neigh*orhood%girls&%my%father%wo'ld% enco'rage%me%to%do%so%*y%his%careless%comments%and%affirmations&%saying%s'ch% things%as&%#5o'(re%a%lot%*etter%loo+ing%as%a%girl.#% %never%felt%loved%or%affirmed%*y% my%father%when% %was%a%*oy. 1y%relationship%with%him%deteriorated%even%f'rther%when% %was%a%yo'ng% teenager.%9ne%night% (ll%never%forget%was%when% %had%*een%sic+%with%the%fl'&%and% late%that%night&%$ad%came%into%my%*edroom%to%chec+%on%me.%.hat%was% something%he%never%did.%<e%discovered%me%in%my%*ed%wearing%my%traditional% *edtime%gar*%of%cosmetics%and%nightgown.% %feigned%sleep%as%he%sat%there%'pon% the%edge%of%my%*ed%weeping.%:hen% %tho'ght%he%was%a*o't%to%get%'p%to%leave% the%room&%he%yan+ed%me%o't%of%the%*ed%&%*eat%me&%yelling%over%and%over&% #5o'(re%j'st%a%damned%homosex'al/#% %was%so%h'rt%that%he%wo'ld%call%me%that&% for% %+new%that% %wasn(t%what%he%defined%me%to%*e.% %was%so%angry%*'t%failed%to% find%any%strength%to%resist%his%f'rio's%*lows.% n%a%way% %hoped%he%wo'ld%+ill%me.% 1y%hatred%for%him%intensified%from%that%day%on.%<e%had%no%idea%what%to%do%with% me%and% %only%wanted%to%h'rt%him%in%ret'rn.% 8ontrary%to%what%my%father%tho'ght&% %was%never%attracted%sex'ally%to%men.% n% fact&% %hated%men%and%anything%to%do%with%*eing%co'nted%among%them&%or% manhood.%6't% %loved%*eing%aro'nd%women.%

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n%an%effort%to%*oth%get%away%from%home%and%somehow%change%my%self%view&% % joined%the%=.).%;avy.%9f%co'rse%that%didn(t%wor+.%,fter%spending%>.5%years%as%a% hospital%corpsman&% %visited%the%*ase%psychiatrist%in%order%to%share%my%ang'ish% with%him.% %hoped%that%he%might%have%some%answers%for%me%and%help.%<is% remedy%was%to%give%me%a%discharge%and%send%me%home%to%get%the%care% % re2'ired.%1y%fol+s%+new%the%reason%for%my%dismissal&%*'t%not%once%did%they% disc'ss%it%with%me&%or%see+%help%for%me.%1y%next%step%was%to%attend%college%and% p'rs'e%a%career.% :hile%attending%college&% %met%an%attractive%and%vi*rant%yo'ng%lady%named% 8harlene%and%we%fell%in%love.%3arly%on%in%o'r%relationship% %decided%to%tell%her% a*o't%my%str'ggles%with%cross-dressing.% %didn(t%want%to%go%f'rther%in%the% relationship%witho't%her%*eing%informed.% #5o'%don(t%loo+%li+e%a%woman&#%she%said.%# (m%s'rprised%that%yo'(d%have%a% pro*lem%li+e%that.#% %was%5(>>#&%over%?@@%po'nds&%with%typical%masc'line%*road% sho'lders%and%manly%appearance.%.he%mista+e%that%*oth%of%'s%made%was%the% notion%that%marriage%wo'ld%solve%the%pro*lem.%,fter%all&%we%were%*oth% 8hristians%and%determined%to%do%ministry.%Aod%wo'ld%somehow%ta+e%care%of% what%was%now%*ecoming%#o'r%pro*lem.#% 6't%even%after%o'r%wedding&%my%secret%o*session%contin'ed.% t%wasn(t%that% 8harlene%lac+ed%anything%in%the%feminine&%or%that%she%wasn(t%a*le%to%satisfy%me.% .his%pro*lem%had%predated%her%and%wo'ld%not%go%away%so%easily.%.he%pro*lem% wasn(t%a%sex'al%pro*lem.% t%was%one%of%my%*asic%gender%identity.%;o%marriage% contract%can%eliminate%one(s%self-view.% %progressed%into%f'll-*lown%transsex'alism&%growing%more%and%more%convinced% that% %was%*orn%the%wrong%sex.% %reasoned%that% %was%really%a%woman&%*'t% trapped%*y%some%+ind%of%cosmic%mix-'p%in%a%man(s%*ody.% %*egan%serio'sly% considering%the%possi*ility%of%event'al%sex-reassignment%s'rgery%B)C)D.% Cross-dressing:% 1y%means%of%escaping%the%stress%of%living%as%a%male%and%my%self-loathing% attit'des%was%to%retreat%into%the%fantasy%of%my%ac2'ired%feminine%persona&% 0ennifer%3laine.% t%was%a%well-practiced%ha*it%and%chronic%form%of%*ehavior%from% my%earliest%childhood%recollections.% t%was%my%neigh*orhood%girlfriends%who% d'**ed%me%0ennifer.%.hey%tho'ght%it%was%great%f'n%to%have%me%play%with%them% as%one%of%them.%% 3scaping%manhood%thro'gh%cross-dressing%*ecame%a%daily%rit'al.%% t%felt%so%right%and%good%to%once%again%*e%who% %had%come%to%accept%as%the%real% me.%Eerhaps%a%conflict%wo'ld%develop%at%wor+&%and% %wo'ld%again%feel%as%tho'gh% %had%failed.% %wo'ld%thin+&%#6oy%yo'(re%s're%st'pid%and%will%never%amo'nt%to% anything.%7ife%wo'ld%have%*een%*etter%as%a%female.#%9ne%the%drive%home%from% wor+&% (d%notice%all%of%the%women%wal+ing%along%in%their%pretty%dresses&%and% (d% *egin%to%wonder%how%those%dresses%wo'ld%loo+%on%me.%)oon% (d%*e%headed%for% 3

the%nearest%shopping%mall&%where% (d%*'y%some%women(s%clothing.%9f%co'rse&% (d% then%invest%in%other%things%s'ch%as%mascara&%lipstic+&%perf'me&%and%wig.% % .hen% (d%r'sh%home&%or%stop%*y%a%motel&%and%go%thro'gh%the%process%of%*eing% transformed%into%the%woman% %wanted%to%*e.%1any%times%as% %dressed% %wo'ld% then%feel%compelled%to%go%o'tside%for%a%wal+%or%drive%across%town&%perhaps%even% going%to%another%mall%and%shopping%this%time%as%#0ennifer%3laine&#%my%female% name.% %wo'ld%feel%s'ch%a%r'sh%of%excitement%when%the%cler+s%wo'ld%call%me% #ma(am#%and%other%female%c'stomers%wo'ld%accept%me%as%j'st%another%woman.% 9nce%*ac+%in%the%motel%or%in%the%privacy%of%my%home&%my%fantasies%wo'ld%pea+% as% %then%stim'lated%myself%to%sex'al%and%emotional%orgasm.%3vent'ally%the% whole%experience%wo'ld%have%to%end&%and% %wo'ld%once%again%*e%forced%to% res'me%my%hated%existence%as%a%man.%Feelings%of%shame%and%g'ilt&%fr'stration% and%anger%wo'ld%overwhelm%me.%9ften%the%newly%ac2'ired%clothes%wo'ld%*e% hastily%discarded%in%a%)alvation%,rmy%deposit%*ox%as% %made%repeated%and% sincere%promises%to%myself%never%to%cross-dress%again.% ,%few%days%later&% (d%do%it%all%over%again.% Finally&%attempting%to%resolve%my%inner%t'rmoil&% %*egan%seeing%a%clinical% psychiatrist%in%order%to%o*tain%female%hormones.% %dreamed%of%having% transsex'al%s'rgery%and%*ecoming%a%woman%once%and%for%all.% %even%forged%a% phony%divorce%certificate%to%hide%the%fact%that% %was%still%married.% 6't%d'ring%my%third%visit&% %tearf'lly%told%the%doctor%how%very%scared% %was% a*o't%act'ally%going%thro'gh%with%the%sex-reassignment.%# (ve%noticed%a%few% physical%changes&#% %told%her.%#6't% (m%so%afraid%of%the%rejection% (ll%have%to%face.% %will%lose%my%family%and%everything% %dearly%love.% %don(t%+now%how% %can%stand% that/#% )he%stood%'p%and%crossed%the%room.%#0ennifer&% %cannot%s'pply%yo'%with%more% hormones%if%yo'%have%no%intention%of%following%thro'gh%with%the%proced're.%.he% endocrinologist%and%s'rgeon%are%*oth%s'pportive%of%yo'r%decision.%6't%if%yo'% have%these%+inds%of%reservations% %can(t%sanction%any%more%treatment%from%my% office.#% .he%drive%home%was%'nforgetta*le.% %was%enraged%and%c'rsing%my%very% existence.%,ngrily% %tore%at%my%dress&%agoni-ing%over%my%fate.%For%the%rest%of% my%life&% %wo'ld%*e%forced%to%go%thro'gh%the%motions%of%*eing%a%man&%always% fantasi-ing%what%it%wo'ld%*e%li+e%...%if%only%...% A Turning Point: 6ac+%home&% %entered%the%shower%weeping&%crying%o't%to%Aod%for%some%relief.% % had%*een%a%8hristian%for%almost%thirty%years.% %+new%that%my%secret%life%was% painf'l%-%not%only%to%me&%*'t%to%my%committed%wife%and%my%7ord%0es's.%,s% % stood%there&%letting%the%water%wash%away%my%tears&%a%tiny%ray%of%hope%too+%hold% 4

in%my%heart.%.ho'ghts%of%s'icide%s'*sided%as% %*egan%to%*elieve%that%Aod%might% provide%a%way%o't%of%my%secret%agony.% 7ater%that%wee+&% %made%an%appointment%to%see%a%8hristian%psychiatrist.%:hile% tal+ing%to%him&% %co'ld%sense%8hrist(s%love%and%acceptance%em*racing%me.% %was% determined%to%find%a%sol'tion.%# f% %don(t%get%help&#% %had%vowed%inside%my% heart&%# %will%have%no%other%choice%left%than%to%commit%s'icide.#% 6't%that%visit%mar+ed%a%t'rning%point%in%my%life.%#:e%are%only%as%sic+%as%o'r% secrets&#%the%psychiatrist%told%me&%and% %+new%that%his%words%were%tr'e.%.he% fo'r%decades%of%living%a%secret%life%were%over.%,s% %progressed%along%in% co'nseling%and%emotional%restoration&% %came%to%see%that% %had%*elieved%so% many%lies%a*o't%myself.%Aod%hadn(t%made%a%#mista+e#%in%creating%me%with%a% male%*ody.% t%was%<e%that%had%formed%my%*ody%from%the%*eginning.%<e%had%a% destiny%for%me.%#1y%frame%was%not%hidden%from%5o'%when% %was%made%in%the% secret%placeG%when% %was%woven%together%...%yo'r%eyes%saw%my%'nformed%*ody.#% BEsalm%>HI:>5->!D%Aod%had%planned%for%me%to%*ecome%a%man%*efore% %had% even%*een%created/% )o%the%lie%was%exposed%that%there%really%was%a%woman%residing%within%my%*ody&% longing%to%find%f'll%expression.%1yriads%of%lies%li+e%that%filled%my%so'l%*efore% % attended%my%first%grade%of%school.% %had%rejected%my%manhood&%one%of%Aod(s% good%gifts%to%me&%*efore% %was%a%teenager.%.o%fill%the%void%and%somehow%soothe% my%wo'nded%so'l&% %had%*ecome%addicted%to%the%for*idden%in%order%to%n'rt're%a% fantasy.% ;ow% %had%to%learn%new%ways%to%thin+%a*o't%myself&%*ased%'pon%the%script'res% and%so'nd%reasoning.%:ith%Aod(s%help% %learned%how%to%control%my%tho'ghts&% #.a+ing%every%tho'ght%captive%in%order%to%ma+e%them%o*edient%to%8hrist(s%way.#% B?%8or.>@:5D%)atan%had%accomplished%his%mission%well%*y%esta*lishing%a% stronghold%of%deception%in%my%mind%from%the%age%of%three%years%on%'p.%:ith% mem*ers%of%the%6ody%of%8hrist%a*o't%me%B#0es's%with%s+in%on#D%and%learning% how%to%#stand%fast%in%the%li*erty%with%which% %had%*een%set%free#%BAal%5:>D&% placing%my%identity%in%8hrist&% %devotedly%too+%meas'res%against%my%fleshly% desires%in%order%to%tear%down%the%many%lies&%replacing%them%with%the%.r'th%of% Aod(s%:ord.% %had%to%train%my%mind%to%rep'diate%the%s'ggestions%that% %was%only%fooling% myself%and%maintaining%myself%in%a*sol'te%denial%of%how%things%really%were.% % had%to%repeatedly%remind%myself%that%Aod(s%ways%are%*etter%for%me%than%my% own.% t%too+%my%a%long%time%to%f'lly%em*race%the%idea%that%Aod%had%made%me% an%intelligent%man.% %was%not%st'pid&%li+e%my%$ad%always%said.% %co'ld%achieve% Aod(s%calling%on%my%life.%Aod%wasn(t%going%to%remove%my%tendency%to%sin%in%this% manner%*y%some%magical%stro+e%of%<is%hand.%<is%plan%was%to%prove%<imself% s'fficient%in%every%temptation%to%once%again%entertain%transsex'al%notions.% % learned%that%#thro'gh%<im&%my%wea+nesses%co'ld%*e%t'rned%into%strengths.#%B?% 8or.%>?:ID%

5

;one%of%these%changes%came%easily%or%2'ic+ly.%$ay%*y%day%and%wee+%*y%wee+&% % had%to%constantly%s'*mit%my%tho'ghts%and%feelings%to%Aod&%pleading%for%<is% transforming%power%to%change%my%inner%sense%of%*eing.%1ine%has%*een%a%long&% ard'o's%tre+%towards%any%+ind%of%healing.%,nd% %have%fo'nd%that%no%matter%how% long% (ve%*een%free%of%the%*ehaviors&% %can%only%claim%lasting%victory%over% transsex'al%l'sts%as% %daily%commit%my%so'l%to%the%care%of%Aod&%and%maintain% myself%thro'gh%daily%spirit'al%disciplines%and%oversight%*y%a%few%who%+now%me% well.% Healing & Restoration: %had%to%first%*egin%to%painf'lly%expose%my%secrets%to%tr'stworthy%*rothers%and% sisters%in%the%8h'rch.%:hile% %f'lly%expected%their%rejection&% %experienced% instead%their%love%and%care&%acceptance%and%compassion.%.his%simple%act%of% exposing%my%tr'e%tho'ghts%and%str'ggles%too+%the%f'se%o't%of%the%interior%*om*% of%my%wo'nded%so'l.% %*egan%implementing%the%twelve%steps%of%,lcoholics%,nonymo's&%slightly% adapting%the%principles%to%fit%my%own%sit'ation.% %too+%my%jo'rnals&%opening%'p% my%#dar+%side#%to%myself&%a%co'nselor%and%other%tr'sted%friends.%1y%compatriots% were%never%seemingly%shoc+ed%*y%my%confessionsG%rather%they%were%exposed%to% the%light%of%how%irrational%and%self%destr'ctive%they%were. Aod%has%always%'sed%the%6ody%of%8hrist%to%help%enco'rage%me%in%my%jo'rney% o't%of%my%conf'sion.%For%example&%my%wife%and% %were%a%part%of%a%prayer%gro'p.% 9ne%night&%another%woman% %didn(t%+now%*egan%to%pray%over%me%with%specific% insights%that%co'ld%have%only%*een%+nown%*y%Aod.%)he%said&%#.he%enemy%has% assigned%a%tas+%force%to%hammer%away%at%yo'%contin'ally&%*ringing%selfcondemnation%to%yo'%in%order%to%spirit'ally%castrate%yo'%and%prevent%yo'%from% *eing%fr'itf'l%in%Aod(s%4ingdom.%6't%Aod%is%giving%yo'%strength%and%co'rage%to% stand%'p%in%yo'r%own%manhood%in%<im%and%defeat%the%enemy...#% (d%*e%lying%to%yo'%if% %said%that%discarding%my%feminine%persona%has%*een% painless.%,t%first% %didn(t%+now%if% %co'ld%really%emotionally%s'rvive%witho't%a%day% of%cross-dressing.%3vent'ally&% %co'ld%see%that%getting%rid%of%that%*ehavior%was% the%very%*est%thing%for%my%well-*eing.% %had%to%learn%how%to%renew%myself%daily% in%prayer%and%ma+e%right%choices%to%p'rs'e%8hrist(s%way%for%me%rather%than% what% %deemed%*est.% %had%to%learn%to%not%wal+%*y%how% %felt.% %had%to%learn%how%to%wal+%*y%faith%that% Aod(s%plan%for%me%was%and%is%the%*est.% .oday&%tho'gh% %am%not%finding%confidence%in%my%self-willed%determination%to% stay%clear%of%transsex'alism&% %am%ga-ing%o't%of%my%office%window%to%see%the% season%once%more%changing%its%color.%.he%trees%are%again%a%*rilliant%red.%1y%own% reflection%in%the%window%pane%is%different&%however.% t(s%no%longer%a%stylishlydressed%woman&%waiting%for%the%receptionist(s%anno'ncement.% ;ow% %see%the%man%Aod%created%me%to%*e%and%has%given%grace%for%me%to%rejoice% 6

in%*eing%.% %no%longer%find%it%necessary%or%even%appealing%to%*e%seen%as%0ennifer.% 1y%real%identity%is%contained%within%the%name%to%which% %pro'dly%answer:%0erry.% 5o'%can%contact%0erry%7each%at:% Ceality%Ceso'rces% E9%6ox%>?5@8 7exington&%45%"@58H http://www.transchristians.org/people/jerry-leach/leach-interview An nter!iew "it# Jerry $ea%# A Former Transsexual and Transvestite 8ond'cted%*y%$avid%4yle%Foster from "Mastering Life" Newsletter # 12 & 13 &a!id - Could you s'end some time telling us your life story - w#at #a''ened to you and w#at t#e $ord did to res%ue you from your se(ual sin and %onfusion? Jerry -%:ell%that(s%a%*ig%*ite/%1y%life%story%in%a%n'tshell%is:% %was%a%*oy% who%*y%the%age%of%three%or%three%and%a%half%years%decided%that%*eing%a% *oy%was%not%necessarily%the%most%wonderf'l%thing%in%the%world&%and%in%fact% the%idea%*ecame%more%deplora*le%as%life%went%on. %didn(t%have%s'fficient%masc'line%role%models%aro'nd%to%draw%me%into% manhood.%.hat%isn(t%*lame%shifting%on%my%part&%that%was%j'st%a%fact.% (m% not%*laming%my%dad%-%he%was%j'st%wrapped%'p%in%his%own%wor+-a-day% world&%ma+ing%a%living&%and%there%were%a%lot%of%false%perceptions%on%my% part%as%a%+id.%5o'%can(t%always%thin+%concretely%as%a%little%one&%and%a%lot%of% things%that% %tho'ght&%which%*ecame%core%*eliefs&%foc'sed%aro'nd%my%dad% not%*eing%there%for%me.%,nd%of%co'rse%as%little%+id% %didn(t%reali-e%he%was% wor+ing%long%hard%ho'rs%at%night&%trying%to%catch%some%sleep%d'ring%the% day&%and%then%wor+ing%+ind%of%a%second%jo*%d'ring%the%evening.%6't%to%me&% he%j'st%wasn(t%there.%<e%was%emotionally%distant%a%lot%of%the%time%and%j'st% wasn(t%there%for%me%when% %tho'ght% %needed%him&%altho'gh%he%was% providing%well%for%'s.%,nd%*eca'se%of%that%core%*elief%that% %had%a*o't%my% dad&%*onding%really%never%occ'rred%*etween%my%dad%and%myself. %opted%for%the%feminine&%which%was%more%comforta*le.% %got%a%lot%of% attention%from%girls%in%the%neigh*orhood&%and%a%great%deal%of%attention% from%my%mom&%so%my%mom%and%myself%were%very%close%while%my%yo'nger% *rother%was%very%close%to%my%dad.% %learned%to%identify%with%mom%very% early%on.%6y%the%age%of%three%and%a%half%or%so% %was%cross-dressing%with% little%neigh*orhood%girls%and%enjoying%their%clean%world%of%lace%and%dollies.% t%was%a%safe%environment%as%opposed%to%the%masc'line%world%that% %saw% as%+ind%of%threatening&%dirty&%sl'tty&%and%which%involved%a%lot%of%st'ff%that% 7

j'st%wasn(t%appealing%to%me.% %j'st%decided%*y%the%age%of%three%and%a%half% that%it%wo'ld%*e%safer%and%*etter%to%*e%a%girl. &a!id - &o you #a!e any idea w#at it was a)out you t#at made you more attra%ted to t#e safer* more 'ut toget#er world of your mot#er? Jerry -% %don(t%+now.% %thin+%that%*asically% %didn(t%have%a%male%role%model% who%was%strong%eno'gh%to%draw%me%into%the%masc'line&%and%yo'%+now&% there%is%a%lot%of%#pop-psychology#%o't%there%and%a%lot%of%theories% s'rro'nding%this%iss'e.%6't%we(re%wor+ing%with%a%lot%of%people%right%now% who%are%coming%o't%of%this%lifestyle%and%there%are%a%lot%of%common%threads% that%r'n%in%stories.%9ne%of%them%is%the%desire%to%*e%li+e%mommy.% %thin+%if% there%is%any%one%strong%thing%that%r'ns%thro'gh%the%lives%of%most%of%'s&%it% is%that%we%j'st%didn(t%*ond%s'fficiently%with%dad%and%we%were%trying%to% *ond%with%mom%-%and%that%was%even%on%sha+y%gro'nd.%For%many%of%'s%we% had%a%lot%of%anxio'sness%a*o't%leaving%mom(s%side.% %li+e%what%Aordon% $al*ey%wrote%in%his%*oo+&%<ealing%the%1asc'line%)o'l&%and%also%his%*oo+&% Father%and%)on.% t%is%how%the%*oy%j'st%isn(t%s'fficiently%drawn%into% manhood%*y%an%appealing%eno'gh%role%model.%,ltho'gh%we%were%close&% something%happened%early%on%to%my%relationship%with%mom%-%and% %thin+%it% had%to%do%with%her%having%to%go%*ac+%to%wor+%shortly%after%my%*irth.%,% psychologist%wo'ld%call%that%#anxiety%separation#.% %don(t%+now%what%all% goes%into%that%except%that% %thin+%that%a%lot%of%the%clothing%that% represented%mom%was%the%very%clothing%that%*ecame%my%#dr'g%of%choice#% -%to%find%closeness%to%mom%thro'gh%articles%of%her%clothing%early%on%and%in% articles%of%clothing%that%sym*oli-ed%mom%in%later%years. &a!id - As you grew into your adoles%ent years* did t#ings e!ol!e into 'er!erse )e#a!ior or did it remain at a %ertain le!el? Jerry -% n%my%own%life%it%started%with%simply%cross-dressing%into%mommy(s% dresses%li+e%all%the%girls%did%in%the%neigh*orhood%-%having%tea%parties%and% playing%with%dolls%and%so%forth&%and% %j'st%enjoyed%that%world.% %j'st% enjoyed%the%frills&%the%dresses&%the%feel%of%it.% %enjoyed%*eing%in%a%girl(s% world. 9ne%significant%thing%that%happened%to%me&%and% %am%finding%this%is%very% characteristic%among%those%of%'s%who%have%*een%involved%in%this%lifestyle&% is%that% %received%affirmation%and%attention%from%my%dad%when% %wo'ld% cross-dress.%<e%wo'ld%*e%passing%*y%and%wo'ld%say&%#1y%yo'%s're%ma+e%a% c'ter%girl%than%yo'%do%a%*oy#.%.hat%+ind%of%comment&%yo'%+now&%really% h'rt&%*'t%it%also%set%'p%within%my%thin+ing%that% %was%more%loved%and% accepted%as%a%girl%*y%my%dad.%,nd% %thin+%at%the%very%root%of%it%is%the%great% desire&%of%co'rse&%for%the%*oy%to%*e%accepted%and%loved%and%affirmed%*y% his%dad. %didn(t%really%sense%in%all%my%growing%'p%years%that% %co'ld%really%meas're% 'p%to%dad(s%expectations.%.his%is%not%an%attempt%to%portray%him%as%a%*ad% or%wic+ed%or%a%non-loving%individ'al.%<e%loved%his%family%dearly&%*'t%he% 8

j'st%said%some%careless%things%from%time%to%time%that%really%h'rt%me.%,nd% some%of%the%things%that%he%wo'ld%say%.%.%.%.%.%.% %was%a%*reech%*a*y&%and%in% those%days%it%was%a%very%diffic'lt%thing&%and%almost%too+%mom(s%life%in%the% process.%<e%reminded%me%on%many%occasions%that% %almost%+illed%mom.% ,nd%there%were%a%lot%of%comments%that%he%really%wanted%a%girl%&%really% preferred%a%girl&%and%in%fact%they%had%a%girl(s%name%pic+ed%o't%for%me.%5o'% +now%a%lot%of%people%do%that%&%and% %saw%that%information%as%a%child&%not% thin+ing%that%it%was%going%to%have%the%effect%that%it%did.% t%is%very% dangero's%to%say%st'ff%li+e%that%to%yo'r%child.%)o% %grew%'p%*elieving%that% a%girl(s%world%was%safer&%that%life%wo'ld%*e%*etter&%and%that% %wo'ld%*e% more%accepta*le%to%my%dad%and%to%my%mom%as%a%girl.%1y%mom%was%a% hairdresser&%yo'%+now&%and%she%always%wanted%a%da'ghter.%)he%had%two% sons&%and%she%wanted%a%da'ghter%to%pass%on%the%*'siness%to&%and% %was% left%with%the%core%*elief%that%life%wo'ld%*e%sweeter%as%a%girl. &a!id - T#e dri!e must #a!e )een 'retty strong to +ee' you engaging in )i,arre )e#a!ior in t#e fa%e of ridi%ule )y your 'eers? Jerry -%:ell&%it%was%a%shamef'l%thing.% %mean% %was%very%m'ch%aware%that% homosex'ality%was%ta*oo&%and%that%it%wasn(t%accepta*le%at%all.% t%wasn(t% accepta*le%to%me%personally%either/% %was%not%t'rned%on%*y%that%lifestyle%at% all. 5o'%+now&% %was%*orn%in%>I">.%$'ring%that%era%s'ch%things%as% transsex'ality%or%transvestism%-%yo'%had%to%go%to%the%dictionary%to%loo+% them%'p&%yo'%+now?%Eeople%j'st%didn(t%+now%m'ch%a*o't%it%*ac+%in%those% days&%and%for%me%to%even%tal+%a*o't%it%was%'nthin+a*le.%.he%only%person% that%+new%a*o't%it%as%far%as% %+new%when% %was%growing%'p%was%my%mom.% )he%+new%that% %cross-dressed%reg'larly&%and% %thin+%that%prod'ced%a%lot%of% g'ilt%in%her%and%a%great%deal%of%fr'stration%from%not%+nowing%what%to%do% with%her%son%who%was%'sing%her%clothing.%)he%+new%that% %was%getting%into% her%clothing%on%a%reg'lar%*asis%and%she%wo'ld%find%st'ff%in%my%closet%or%my% drawers&%yo'%+now.% t%was%very%disappointing%and%very%shoc+ing%and%she% didn(t%+now%what%to%do%with%that%information. 1y%dad%didn(t%find%o't%that% %was%involved%in%that%+ind%of%st'ff%actively% 'ntil% %was%a*o't%sixteen%or%seventeen%years%of%age&%at%which%point%he% *eat%the%living%tar%o't%of%me%and%called%me%all%+inds%of%names%-%one%of% which%was%homosex'al.% %+new% %wasn(t%homosex'al.% %was%not%attracted% to%men&%and%in%fact%if%anything&% %hated%men.% %didn(t%want%to%*e%with%men.% %wanted%to%associate%with%women.% %fo'nd%it%so%m'ch%more%comforta*le% to%*e%with%women&%to%date%women.% %co'ld%'nderstand%where%they%were% coming%from&%tho'gh% %myself%always%had%a%very%masc'line%*'ild%and% frame%-%low%voice&%heavy%*eard&%all%that%+ind%of%st'ff.% %j'st%felt%more%and% more%and%more%that% %was%really%a%girl%on%the%inside.%6't% %+now%now%that% %grew%'p%thin+ing%that%it%wo'ld%*e%more%comforta*le%*eing%a%girl&%and% then% %opted%for%the%line&%or%sho'ld% %say%the%lie%that%o'r%society%p'ts%o't% there&%that%yo'%are%really%j'st%expressing%yo'r%feminine%side&%which%is% dominant.%.hat(s%nothing%*'t%a%lie%and% (ve%seen%the%error%of%that. 9

&a!id - -ne t#ing t#at want to get )a%+ to is t#e se%re%y in w#i%# you #ad to li!e. T#is must #a!e #ad a damaging effe%t on your self-image and your 'sy%#ologi%al #ealt#? Jerry -%=ndo'*tedly/% %mean&% %was%scared%half%of%my%life&%yo'%+now?% % was%afraid%of%*eing%discovered.% %wo'ld%often%stay%away%from%many% activities%-%sports%activities%or%whatever%where% %wo'ld%have%to%go%into%a% shower%room%with%the%other%g'ys&%*eca'se%my%legs%were%shaved&%my%*ody% was%shaved%from%hair&%and%ninety%percent%of%the%time% %had%nail%polish%on% my%toes%-%that%+ind%of%st'ff.%,ll%the%time%while%going%to%school% %wo'ld%*e% wearing%girl(s%'ndergarments.%)o%it%was%a%very%fearf'l%thing% %had%going% on&%yo'%+now.%<ow%am% %not%going%to%*e%discovered%*y%teachers%or%friends% or%whatever?% t%was%an%awf'l%life%to%live&%with%a%lot%of%shame-*ased% thin+ing.% %am%an%awf'l&%wic+ed%pervert&%yo'%+now&%a%person%that%Aod%has% even%forsa+en/%3ven%as%a%+id&% %wo'ld%pray%to%wa+e%'p%in%the%morning%as%a% girl&%yo'%+now&%and%that%wo'ldn(t%happen&%so%my%little%mind%wo'ld% concl'de%that%Aod%had%forsa+en%me%-%that%Aod%had%screwed%this%thing%'p% called%my%creation%-%my%gender%role.% %didn(t%+now%what%to%call%it%*ac+% then%*'t%<e%had%screwed%it%'p%and%<e%had%even%left%me%alone%to%wrestle% with%it.%)o%there%was%an%incredi*le%anger%at%Aod%and%a%fr'stration%with% Aod&%and%yet%there%was%another%side%of%me%that%really%loved%Aod.% t%was% very%conf'sing. &a!id - .ou #ad su%# dee' #atred for so many t#ings. .ou #ad a #atred for males* you #ad a #atred for /od. .ou #ad a lo!e for women t#oug#* or was t#ere a +ind of #atred t#ere* too? Jerry -%;o&% %didn(t%have%any%of%what%they%call%#misogyny#&%or%hatred%of% women.% %wanted%to%*e%a%woman.% %wanted%to%em'late%a%woman(s%life.% t% wasn(t%li+e%most%men%watching%a%woman%coming%down%the%street%and% saying&%#:ow&%loo+%at%that/#%yo'%+now&%#.here(s%a%chic+.#% %wo'ld%loo+%at%a% woman%and%not%j'st%want%to%*e%li+e%her&%*'t%wo'ld%have&%Band%this%is%tr'e% of%so%many%of%'sD&%this%deep%g't%envy.% %didn(t%want%to%*e%li+e%her&% % wanted%to%*e%her.% %wanted%to%somehow&%thro'gh%ta+ing%in%the%image%of% her&%l'sting%after%her&%not%to%have%sex%with%her&%*'t%to%*e%her%in%my%own% mind%-%a%figment%of%my%own%imagination.% %wanted%to%carry%that%o't%to%the% f'llest&%and%*elieve%me% %tried.% %cross-dressed%reg'larly&%and%more%so%all% the%time. .hat(s%the%way%l'st%is.%7'st%is%never%satisfied.%.he%transvestite%is%an% individ'al%who%starts%o't%cross-dressing%for%momentary%sex'al% gratification%*y%'sing%articles%of%clothing%as%a%form%of%fetish%to%gain% satisfaction%personally%for%the%moment.%6't%many%of%'s%progress%on%into% more%f'll-*lown%activities:%cross-dressing%in%p'*lic&%cross-dressing%in%the% privacy%of%o'r%own%homes&%practicing%women(s%gest'res%-%how%to%wal+%in% high%heels&%how%to%apply%ma+e-'p%correctly.%1ost%transsex'als%that% (ve% tal+ed%to%-%we%have%over%>5@%aro'nd%the%nation%right%now%we%are% ministering%to%-%most%of%them%j'st%simply%want%to%*e%a%woman.%.hey%don(t% want%to%*e%in%the%gay%*ars%with%heavy%ma+e'p&%ma+ing%a%parody%of% women.%.hey%want%to%*e%women%in%a%very%simple%sense%.%:hat% %have% 10

fo'nd%in%my%own%life%and%in%the%life%of%one%of%the%others%we(re%ministering% to%-%is%that%what%we(re%trying%to%do%is%*e%mommy%-%we(re%trying%to%*e%that% close%to%mommy&%we(re%wanting%to%em'late%her. &a!id - "#en you entered into adult#ood* did you li!e a &r. Je+yll life - mean* two different and se'arate worlds t#at were #idden from ea%# ot#er? Jerry -%5es&% %was%$r.%0e+yll%and%1r.%<yde%'n2'estiona*ly.%.he%do'*le%life% was%the%model%of%the%day.% %had%gone%into%the%;avy&%fig'ring%may*e%that% wo'ld%c're%me.% %was%fresh%o't%of%high%school%and%a%lot%of%my%*'ddies%in% the%neigh*orhood%were%going%into%the%armed%services.% %didn(t%want%to%go% on%to%college%and%then%*e%drafted&%so% %tho'ght&%#:ell&% (ll%go%into%the%;avy% and%that%will%ta+e%care%of%my%pro*lem.#%:ell%it%only%exacer*ated%it&%and%in% a%very%short%time%after% %got%o't%of%*oot%camp&% %went%to%the%*ase% psychiatrist%and%said%listen&% (ve%got%this%pro*lem%-% %want%to%cross-dress% so%*ad.%6't% %+new%if% %did%that%on%the%*ase%or%got%ca'ght% %wo'ld%have%a% dishonora*le%discharge%facing%me&%*eca'se%they%wo'ld%e2'ate%that%with% homosex'ality%and%all%the%ramifications%of%that.%6ac+%in%those%days&%yo'% were%o't. &a!id - "as #e t#e first 'erson you #ad e!er %onfessed t#is to? Had you ne!er told a 'astor or someone else )efore t#en? Jerry -%;o&% %had%never%opened%'p%except%to%my%mom. &a!id - "#at was #er rea%tion? Jerry -%$ismay.%)he%had%s'spected%it%all%the%time&%*'t%she%hadn(t%+nown% the%depth%of%it.% (ll%never%forget%sitting%across%the%ta*le%from%her&%crossdressed.% %had%let%her%find%me%that%way%so%that% %co'ld%tell%her%that% % needed%help&%and%that% %wanted%to%*e%a%woman%li+e%her.%.here%was%total% dismay%on%her%face.%)he%said&%# %j'st%don(t%+now%why%yo'%wo'ld%want%to% do%that&%and% %don(t%'nderstand.#%)he%as+ed%me%to%get%o't%of%those% clothes%and%go%to%the%*ea'ty%shop%to%help%her%clean%'p.%.he%next%day%it% was%li+e%nothing%had%happened.%:e%didn(t%tal+%a*o't%it%from%that%point%on.% )o%when% %went%to%the%*ase%psychiatrist%j'st%totally%torn%'p%*eca'se% % co'ld%no%longer%cross-dress%and%live%o't%that%imaginary%dream%world%of% the%woman&%it%was%really%a%fr'strating%thing%for%me.%.hat%was%the%first% person% %ever%told&%and%what%did% %get?%Cejection.%:hat%else%co'ld%he%do?% .wo%wee+s%later% %was%home.%.hey%j'st%said&%#:e%can(t%deal%with%this.% :e(ll%give%yo'%an%honora*le%discharge%*eca'se%yo'(ve%not%done%anything% dishonora*le&%*'t%yo'%need%to%go%home%and%get%some%help.#%:hen% %got% home&%nothing%was%done&%nothing%was%tal+ed%a*o't.% %went%on%to%college&% and%met%a%girl%in%college%that% %fell%tremendo'sly%in%love%with%and%as+ed% her%to%marry%me%and%we%later%married&%thin+ing%marriage%wo'ld%c're%my% pro*lems.%9f%co'rse%it%did%not. &a!id - 0o* your wife +new )efore you married w#at you #ad )een doing? 11

Jerry -%5eah.% %told%her%on%a%date%that% %wrestled%with%a%condition%called% transvestism%or%transsex'alism.%.hose%were%*rand%new%words%to%her.%)he% had%no%idea%what%they%meant.%)he%went%home%to%loo+%them%'p.%)he%didn(t% have%any%idea%what%it%involved.%6't%she%and% %*oth%*elieved&%naively&%that% normal%sex'al%relations%wo'ld%ta+e%care%of%it.%6't%transsex'alism&% transvestism&%at%the%very%core%is%li+e%homosex'ality.% t%is%not%a%sex'al% matter%or%iss'e%at%all.% t%is%an%identity%iss'e.%,nd% %was%still%trying%to% identify%with%mom.%,nd%the%only%way% %+new%to%do%that%was%thro'gh% articles%of%her%clothing&%or%articles%of%clothing%li+e%hers%-%still%trying%to%*ond% with%her.%6't%that%*ond%wo'ld%not%satisfy.% %was%spending%my%life%trying%to% *e%li+e%her%as%*est% %co'ld. &a!id - 0o w#at #a''ened in your marriage? Jerry -% t%is%spelled%with%fo'r%letters%-%<377%-%it%was%awf'l.%)omehow&%*y% Aod(s%grace&% %don(t%+now%how%to%say%it&%*y%the%intervention%of%Aod%she% stayed%with%me&%altho'gh%we%were%separated%for%a%year%at%one%point% toward%the%end%of%o'r%misery.%:e%+new%that%we%had%to%*e%separated%to% wor+%o'r%own%iss'es%thro'gh.%6't%we%j'st%cele*rated%o'r%H?nd% anniversary&%than+s%to%Aod/%:e%have%*oth%*een%to%hell%and%*ac+%!@-J@% times%in%o'r%marriage.%:e%didn(t%have%any*ody%to%t'rn%to&%yo'%+now.% % was%past'ring%a%ch'rch.%From%college&% %went%on%into%seminary%*eca'se% % j'st%really%wanted%to%help%people.% %have%always%loved%people&%and% (ve% always%enjoyed%*eing%aro'nd%people&%and%helping%people.%)o&% %went%into% a%sec'lar%n'rsing%jo*%along%with%pastoring%ch'rches&%while%inside% %was% dying.% %co'ld%*elieve%Aod%to%heal%and%to%help%others%and%to%minister%to% other%people%thro'gh%me&%and%thro'gh%my%wife&%*'t%for%<im%to%do%that%.9% me?%;o.% %felt%forsa+en.% t%was%very%very%fr'strating. &a!id - t is !ery intriguing t#at you would )e%ome a 'astor e!en t#oug# you #ated /od? Jerry -%:ell&% %wo'ldn(t%call%it%hatred%for%Aod%then.% %didn(t%reali-e%it&%and% it%is%even%harder%for%me%to%say%it%now&%*'t% %thin+%that%was%a%lot%of%what% was%going%on.% %felt%disappointment%and%animosity%towards%Aod&%and% % thin+%later%on%in%life%as% %saw%that%my%dreams%were%never%going%to%*e% f'lfilled%as%a%8hristian&% %developed%a%hatred%for%Aod.%6't&%as% %said&% % cared%for%people.% %wanted%to%serve%Aod.%6't% %really%thin+%that%the%main% reason%for%going%into%pastoral%ministry%was%to%provide%a%s'fficient%eno'gh% cover-'p.% %+new% %was%in%tro'*le%personally&%*'t% %was%so%afraid%of%*eing% discovered.%5et% %wanted%to%serve%people%and% %really%wanted%to%live%for% Aod&%and%felt%that%it%was%my%destiny%to%serve%Aod.%,nd%Aod%wanted%me%to% serve%<im&%*'t%with%this%+ind%of%identity%conf'sion%it%was%very%diffic'lt%to% do%that%-%preaching%on%)'nday%and%cross-dressing%on%1onday.%,nd%a%lot%of% times% %wo'ld%*e%in%the%p'lpit%preaching%really%a%fine%sermon%-%one%that% (d% wor+ed%hard%on&%while%having%women(s%'ndergarments%'nder%my%s'it.%5o'% can%imagine%the%hell%that%is. &a!id - T#at sounds li+e a real un%ons%ious attem't to get )a%+ at /od. &o you see w#at 1m saying? 12

Jerry -%)'re&%s're%-% %*elieve%there(s%a%lot%of%things%going%on.%6't%a% transsex'al%who%then%opts%later%on%for%the%sex-change%s'rgery%or%sex'al% re-definement%s'rgery%in%a%very%real%sense%is%sha+ing%his%or%her%fist%at% Aod%and%saying&%#5o'%screwed%'p%Aod&%and% (m%going%to%fix%this.% (m%going% to%ta+e%care%of%it.% t%is%in%my%hands%o*vio'sly%to%correct%this%*irth%defect.% ,nd% (m%going%to%go%to%the%s'rgeon&%get%on%hormones&%and%get%this%thing% corrected%once%and%for%all.#% t(s%a%re*ellion%against%Aod(s%intent.% %mean% it(s%o*vio's%what%we(re%s'pposed%to%*e.% %mean&%j'st%loo+%*etween%yo'r% legs&%and%yo'%can%tell.%.here(s%no%2'estion%when%yo'(re%*orn%what%yo'% are.%.he%doctor%immediately%when%yo'%come%o't%of%the%wom*%says&%# t(s%a% *oy#&%or%# t(s%a%girl#%-%there(s%no%2'estion%a*o't%that.%6't%thro'gh%so%many% different%events%in%one(s%'p*ringing&%conf'sion%sets%in.%6't%yes&%yo'(re% right&%and%there(s%j'st%a%lot%of%a*ject%re*ellion%against%Aod%and%ta+ing% matters%into%one(s%own%hands. &a!id - 0o at t#e same time you were 'astoring you entered into a 'ursuit of a se( %#ange? Jerry -%.hat%was%the%dream.% (d%read%a*o't%8hristine%0orgenson%and% different%others%that%had%had%the%sex-change%s'rgery%-%how%s'ccessf'l% they%were%-%and% %really%wanted%that.%.here%was%one%major%pro*lem%-% % had%a%*ea'tif'l%wife%and%two%great%+ids.% %had%family%that% %didn(t%want%to% h'rt.%,nd% %+new%*y%having%the%sex-change%s'rgery%and%opting%for%that% lifestyle%that%they%wo'ld%consider%me%dead%and% %wo'ld%have%to%forsa+e% everything%that% %cared%a*o't%so%very%very%dearly&%and%had%wor+ed%so% hard%to%*'ild.%.hey%wo'ld%*e%o't%of%my%life&%and% %wo'ld%*e%alone.%.hat% was%scary.%,%lot%of%people%do%that.% %'nderstand%that.%,%lot%of%people%are% willing%to%ta+e%that%+ind%of%ris+%and%pain.% %was%not.% %thin+%very% realistically&%when% %came%to%the%7ord%at%the%age%of%sixteen&%the%spirit%of% 8hrist%living%within%me%wo'ld%not%leave%me%alone&%and%+ept%letting%me% +now&%one%way%or%another%that% %was%loved%*y%<im.%<e%wo'ld%j'st%wor+% things%o't%in%my%life.% (ve%gone%thro'gh%a%lot%of%pain&%*'t% %now%see%that% the%pain%has%*een%allowed%in%my%life%so%that% %can%'nderstand%and%have% great%compassion%for%others%who%are%going%thro'gh%similar%+inds%of% tra'ma.%1y%wife%and% %are%wor+ing%with%married%co'ples%all%the%time% coming%o't%of%this%+ind%of%lifestyle. &a!id - 0o you finally - /od finally - )roug#t someone into your life t#at you lo!ed more t#an yourself* and t#at 'ut a road)lo%+ in t#e 'at# of doing a transse(ual o'eration? Jerry -% (d%have%to%say%very%realistically%that(s%the%s'm%total%of%it.% %loved% my%wife%more%than% %loved%Aod.% (m%ashamed%to%say%that&%*'t%that(s%the% reality%of%it.% %loved%my%family%more%than% %loved%Aod.%6eca'se%if%Aod%had% *een%eno'gh&%j'st%the%very%fact%of%what%<e%said%in%the%script'res%-%in% $e'teronomy%??:5%where%<e%very%clearly%lays%o't%that%if%a%man%dresses%as% a%woman%or%a%woman%dresses%as%a%man%that(s%an%a*omination%to%Aod%-% that%sho'ld%have%*een%eno'gh%to%have%t'rned%me%away%from%that%+ind%of% activity&%*'t%it%was%not. 13

&a!id - 1d li+e to find out e(a%tly w#at #a''ened to woo you )a%+ to t#e $ord and to )ring some lig#t into your mind and your #eart a)out your %ondition? "#at was t#e +i%+-off e!ent in your life t#at started t#e turnaround?

Jerry -%First%of%all&% (d%li+e%to%clarify%that%yo'%were%saying%that% %was% headed%into%the%transsex'al%lifestyle.% %was%there/%,%transsex'al%is%a% person%who&%male%or%female&%desires%to%*e%a%mem*er%of%the%opposite%sex% on%a%f'll%time%*asis&%and%will%attempt%to%do%that%as%m'ch%as%possi*le&%given% the%societal%r'les&%and%whatever%else%they%can%do.%)o%m'ch%of%my%time% was%spent%either%cross-dressing%and%going%o't%in%the%p'*lic%or%in%the% confines%of%my%own%home%as%a%woman.% f% %was%not%f'lly%dressed%as%a% woman&%at%least%*eneath%my%masc'line%attire%wo'ld%*e%pantyhose&% panties&%feminine%garments&%a%shaved%*ody&%fingernail%polish%on%the%toes%-% anything% %co'ld%get%away%with%that%demonstrated%that% %was%really% feminine.% %had%a%feminine%name%that% %'sed.%1y%name%was%0ennifer% 3laine.%.hat%was%the%name%my%parents%had%pic+ed%for%me&%yo'%+now&%and% %loved%that%name%*eca'se% %felt%that%my%feminine%identity%was%more% accepta*le%to%them.%.hat(s%j'st%how% %felt%a*o't%life. .he%thing%that%t'rned%me%aro'nd?% t(s%not%li+e%one%experience.% %mean% % can(t%really%remem*er%one%experience%that%t'rned%me%aro'nd.%,%n'm*er% of%things%happened.%6't%the%incredi*le%pain%that% %went%thro'gh%all%the% time%-%dressing%as%a%woman&%going%o't%in%p'*lic%and%*eing%accepted%in%the% shopping%malls%as%a%woman%among%women%-%going%into%a%shoe%store%and% p'tting%my%leg%'p%on%a%footstool%and%having%the%cler+%come%o't%and%fit%me% with%heels%and%not%even%*lin+%an%eye.% %can(t%descri*e%the%ecstatic&% emotional%relief%that%there%was%to%*e%accepted%as%a%woman%in%the% mar+etplace.%<ow% %p'lled%that%off% %don(t%+now&%*eca'se% %have%always% had%a%>I@-?@@%po'nd%frame%-%*ig%*ones&%*ig%sho'lders.%)ometimes% %thin+% it%was%j'st%an%ill'sion% %was%p'tting%off%on%myself&%and%people%were%j'st% shoc+ed%and%didn(t%+now%what%to%do&%so%they%didn(t%ma+e%a%*ig%scene.%6't% (ll%never%forget%one%time% %was%shopping%with%women%in%a%*ig%shopping% mall.%.his%one%woman%was%dragging%her%little%+id%*ehind&%who%m'st%have% *een%three%or%fo'r%years%of%age&%and%he%t'rned%aro'nd%and%pointed%at%me% and%said&%#1ommy&%what%is%that/#%)o% %don(t%really%+now%that% %p'lled%the% ill'sion%off%all%that%s'ccessf'lly.% n%my%mind%tho'gh&% %tho'ght% %was%a% *ea'tif'l%madonna&%yo'%+now&%*'t%in%reality%loo+ing%*ac+%at%some%of%the% pict'res% %had%ta+en%of%myself%cross-dressing&% %loo+ed%very%m'ch%li+e%a% man%in%a%dress&%which%is%j'st%a*o't%the%s'm%total%of%it.%6't%in%yo'r%mind% yo'%can%p'll%off%all%+inds%of%tric+s. .here%were%any%n'm*er%of%painf'l%incidents%that%happened%to%me%and%to% my%wife&%so%that%we%came%to%a%resol'tion%that%we%co'ldn(t%live%together% anymore%in%that%+ind%of%t'rmoil.%)o%we%separated%for%a%year%and%things% got%good%again%and%there%was%a%seeming%disappearance%of%the%attraction% and%comp'lsion%for%a%period%of%two%years%or%so.%6't%then%press'res%in%my% life%*egan%to%mo'nt%and%we%*egan%to%have%some%internal%family%pro*lems.% 14

.hose%+inds%of%press'res%drove%me%*ac+%to%a%cyclical&%ha*it'al&%comp'lsive% type%of%*ehavior%and%feeling&%and% %ret'rned%to%cross-dressing&%and%started% hormone%treatment.%1y%wife%didn(t%+now%anything%a*o't%that.% %too+% hormones%for%a*o't%a%year%and%a%half%'nder%a%psychiatrist(s%care%who%had% a%great%deal%of%sympathy%for%my%sit'ation.%)he%said&%#:ell%we%j'st%need%to% get%yo'%femini-ed%and%moving%towards%sex-change%s'rgery.#% %finally% *ecame%misera*le%with%that%-%'nderstanding%f'll%well%what% %was%going%to% do%to%my%family&%and%what% %wo'ld%do%to%myself.% %was%down%*y%a%river%one% day%with%a%)mith%and%:esson%H5J%placed%*ac+%in%my%mo'th%tic+ling%my% tonsils&%and% %loo+ed%'p%into%the%s+y%and%the%stars%and%the%moon&%and% % tho'ght&%#Aod&%is%this%the%answer?% s%this%my%destiny?% s%this%what%it% comes%to?#% f%there%was%one%event%that%was%the%t'rnaro'nd%for%me&%it%was% that.%,nd% %was%only%one%second%away%from%*lowing%my%head%off.%.he% transsex'al%lifestyle%was%not%in%finality%the%dream%that% %wanted%after%all. &a!id - "#at did /od say )a%+ to you* or w#at did He do in your life t#at ended u' )eing t#e res'onse you needed? Jerry -%<e%gave%me%an%incredi*le%peace%inside%that%<e%was%a*le%to%help% me&%and%an%insatia*le%sensation%of%love%and%acceptance%*y%<im.%<e%wasn(t% loo+ing%at%me%as%some%+ind%of%a%weird%pervert%-%as%some%+ind%of%an% 'nhelpa*le%person%or%'nredeema*le%individ'al.% f%anything&% %sensed%<is% love%-%li+e%a%*ig%arm%was%aro'nd%my%sho'lders%saying&%# %love%yo'.#% % didn(t%hear%those%words&%*'t% %had%that%sense%that%that(s%what%<e%was% saying%to%me.%,nd%so%it%gave%me%co'rage%to%see+%some%help%from% 8hristian%men%in%the%ch'rch&%and% %started%opening%'p%to%a%few.% %went%to% a%psychologist%who%wasn(t%a%mem*er%of%the%ch'rch%we%were%going%to&%*'t% he%*egan%to%wor+%thro'gh%a%twelve%step%program%of%recovery.% t%was%very% helpf'l%to%me%to%see%the%addictive%cycle%in%what% %was%doing.% %went%to% another%tr'sted%*rother%in%the%ch'rch%who%was%a%licensed%clinical%social% wor+er&%and% %too+%and%laid%on%his%des+%the%pict'res%of%myself&%and%the%g'n% %was%going%to%'se%on%myself&%and% %said&%# s%there%any%help%for%me?#%0'st% getting%the%secret%o't%on%the%ta*le&%yo'%+now?%:e(re%only%as%sic+%as%o'r% secrets.% %*egan%to%div'lge%my%secrets%to%tr'sted%*rothers%and%a%few% sisters.%,nd% %fo'nd%incredi*le%compassion&%love%and%acceptance%for%who% % was.%7ots%of%good%solid%prayer%and%lots%of%good%co'nseling%*egan%to%t'rn% things%aro'nd%for%me. &a!id - "ould you %onsider yourself #ealed today? And w#at does )eing #ealed from trans!estism and transse(ualism loo+ li+e? Jerry -%.he%connotation%of%the%word%#healed#%is%that%yo'%no%longer%have% any%iss'es&%yo'%+now?%5o'%no%longer%have%any%tho'ghts%or%feelings%-% essentially%that(s%what% %interpret%that%word%to%mean.% %can(t%really%attest% to%a%complete%healing%in%that%sense.%<owever&% (m%not%attracted%to%that% anymore&%*eca'se%eno'gh%of%the%masc'line%identity%has%*een%resolved%in% me.% %have%certainly%resolved%the%iss'es%s'rro'nding%trying%to%*ond%with% mom.%,nd%my%relationship%with%0es's%has%*ecome%so%personal&%and%has% to'ched%my%life%significantly.%,t%a%conference%as%recent%as%two%years%ago&% % received%some%significant%inner%healing%in%my%emotions%-%and%also%a% 15

personal%visitation%from%the%7ord%which%was%so%*ea'tif'l%that% %really% sensed%again%that%all%encompassing%love%of%the%7ord.%6't% %wo'ld%have%to% say%that%the%7ord%has%done%everything%possi*le%to%convince%me%that% %am% lova*le&%and%a%redeema*le%h'man%*eing. &a!id - 0o t#en* t#e #ealing 'ro%ess for you #as )een a slow 'rogression toward identifying wit# t#e same se( w#ile simultaneously 'utting away your identity wit# t#e o''osite se(? Jerry -%5es&%it(s%a%process.% t%ta+es%a%n'm*er%of%years%to%get%o't%of%this% j'n+.%7i+e%the%homosex'al%who%spends%his%or%her%whole%life%loo+ing%for% completion%in%a%mem*er%of%the%same%sex&% %was%loo+ing%for%completion%in% the%opposite%sex.% %no%longer%have%to%loo+%for%that.% %feel%completed.% %feel% completed%in%my%own%so'l.% t%'sed%to%*e%where%a%woman%wo'ld%come% down%the%street%and% %wo'ld%loo+%at%her%and%thin+&% %want%to%63%her%-%now% %j'st%appreciate%her%for%*eing%her.% %have%my%own%sense%of%identity%that% % am%pro'd%and%glad%and%than+f'l%to%*e%the%man%that% %am.%.hat(s%*een%a% long%hard%tre+. .o%say%that% (m%healed?% %don(t%+now%how%yo'(d%say%that&%*eca'se% %still% have%tho'ghts%and%temptations%from%time%to%time&%*'t% (ve%learned%how% to&%in%a%very%concrete%way&%deal%with%them.%9ne%way%that% %'se%ro'tinely%is% when%my%tho'ghts%start%to%stray%toward%old%tho'ght%patterns&%let(s%say%a% woman%is%coming%down%the%street%toward%me&% %j'st%literally%p't%my%hand% 'p%in%front%of%my%face%in%a%vertical%position%to%sym*oli-e%the%8ross&%and% call%myself%*ac+%to%attention%to%8hrist&%and%*y%p'tting%my%hand%'p%right%in% front%of%my%eyes&% %say&%#;ow%7ord%0es's&% %am%calling%myself%*ac+%to%my% relationship%with%yo'.%;ot%toward%her%or%anyone%else.% (m%calling%myself% *ac+%to%my%center%in%5o'&%7ord%0es's.#%,nd%*y%that%very%concrete%thing% that% %do%*y%p'tting%the%hand%in%front%of%my%face&%it%offsets%and%changes% my%thin+ing.%.hat&%of%co'rse&%changes%the%way% %feel%a*o't%things&%and% thirdly%*loc+s%any%activity% %have%in%that%direction. )o%to%say%that% (m%healed&%one%wo'ld%say%that%if%yo'%have%any%more% tho'ghts%a*o't%that%then%yo'%can(t%claim%to%*e%healed%or%delivered%from% that%lifestyle%-%that%if%anything%yo'(re%j'st%s'ppressing%it.%;o&% %don(t%*'y% into%that%at%all.%1y%mind%is%*eing%renewed%day%*y%day.%,nd%it%has%to%*e% renewed%*y%Aod(s%word&%and%things%that% %do.%.he%script'res%are%real%clear% on%fleeing%immorality%-%sex'al%immorality.%)o%for%me&% %j'st%stay%away% from%dress%shops%and%from%the%stores.%:hen%my%wife%goes%shopping&% % don(t%go%with%her%anymore.% f%she%goes%into%the%shopping%mall%to%get%a% dress%or%whatever&% %go%into%the%men(s%section%and% %j'st%stay%away%from% things%that%an%alcoholic%wo'ld%call%a%slippery%slope. &a!id - .ou +now it ma+es sense to me t#at you* )eing re%on%iled to /od t#roug# Jesus C#rist* are now a)le to a''roa%# t#e 2at#er. .our relations#i' wit# Him #as )een restored* and t#e )onding 'ro%ess )etween you and your 2at#er in #ea!en is 'rogressi!ely ta+ing 'la%e. t 3ust ma+es sense to me t#at it would )e a gradual 16

growt# 'ro%ess and t#at t#ere would )e a 'rogression toward #ealing in terms of self-identity as a male and so fort#. Jerry -%)'re/%6't%yo'%+now%another%aspect%of%the%healing%process%for%me% has%*een%-%and% %find%this%'niversally%tr'e%with%the%men%that% (m%dealing% with%and%some%of%the%women&%too%-%that% (ve%made%peace%with%my%earthly% dad.%<e%died%*efore% %had%a%chance%to%really%do%that%yo'%+now&%*'t% (ve% gone%to%his%grave%site%and%j'st%made%peace%with%him%over%his%grave.%,nd% % have%recogni-ed%that%as%an%ad'lt&%he%was%doing%the%*est%he%+new%how%to% do.%<e%didn(t%+now%how%to%role%model%properly.%<e%didn(t%+now%how%to%do% what% %needed%to%have%done%in%my%life.%<e%j'st%didn(t%+now%that.%,nd% (ve% forgiven%him%and% (ve%dealt%with%all%those%iss'es&%and%that%has%*een%so% healing&%and%redemptive. 6't%yes&% %have%made%peace%with%Aod%also&%and%have%come%to%'nderstand% that%Aod(s%destiny%for%me%has%*een%indeed%to%minister%life%to%others% thro'gh%<is%)pirit.%.o%*e%a%minister%of%the%Aospel&%to%preach&%to%teach&%to% share%<is%love.%;ow% %am%a*le%to%that%from%a%heart%of%integrity&%and%not%a% heart%that(s%torn. 9ne%of%the%most%diffic'lt%things%for%me%to%do%came%two%years%ago%when% % went%o't%to%6o'lder&%8olorado%with%my%son%who%is%grown%and%has%a%family% of%his%own.%:e%*oth%went%to%the%#Eromise%4eepers#%convention.%<ere%we% were&%pac+ed%into%a%colise'm%with%5@&@@@%men%-%a%threatening%experience% for%a%man%with%my%*ac+gro'nd.%6't% %+new%it%wo'ld%*e%good%for%me%to%do% that%and% (m%so%glad% %did&%*eca'se%it%forced%me%into%a%wee+end%of%relating% with%men% %didn(t%+now%and%pressing%thro'gh%the%fear%of%*eing%rejected%*y% them&%of%feeling%inferior%to%them&%and%sha+ing%their%hand%and%getting%to% +now%them%a%little%*it.%,nd%yo'%+now%what?% %discovered%that%they%had% many%of%the%same%fears%of%each%other&%and%the%same%inferiority%-%a%lot%of% the%same%iss'es% %had%wrestled%with%all%my%life&%*'t%they%were%now%honest% eno'gh%to%tal+%a*o't%it. 1en%in%o'r%co'ntry&% %am%finding&%are%wrestling%with%so%many%of%the%same% iss'es%that%the%homosex'al%and%that%the%transsex'al%deal%with&%*'t%are% afraid%to%tal+%a*o't%that%with%each%other.%6't%#Eromise%4eepers#%and%other% movements%li+e%that%are%very%healing%and%redemptive%things%that%Aod%is% doing%among%men%in%o'r%co'ntry%-%*ringing%them%together%'nder%a% common%*ond%and%a%common%need%for%0es's%and%for%each%other. &a!id - t1s )eautiful to see #ow /od uses ot#er 'eo'le to )e His arms and to )e His !oi%e and so fort# in t#e #ealing 'ro%ess. Jerry -%5es. &a!id - And su''ose t#at1s w#y t#e )ody of C#rist* t#e C#ur%#* is t#e +ey element in 'eo'le1s s'iritual maturity. Jerry -% %often%say%to%the%people% %am%wor+ing%with&%and% %+now%it(s%not% 'ni2'e%for%me%to%say%this&%*'t% %heard%it%somewhere%a%long%time%ago%and% 17

(ve%'sed%it%a%lot:%:e%need%0es's%with%s+in%on.% %need%yo'%and%yo'%need% me.%,nd%that(s%what%the%*ody%of%8hrist%is%a*o't.%6't%yo'%see&%the% transsex'al%lifestyle&%the%transvestite%lifestyle&%the%homosex'al%lifestyle%is% s'ch%a%life%of%loneliness&%fear%of%*eing%discovered&%and%filled%with%shame*ased%thin+ing%and%isolation%from%one%another.%1eaningf'l%relationships% that% %am%*'ilding%in%my%life%and%in%those%that% %wor+%with%have%*een%the% +ey%-%to%start%to%open%'p%one(s%life%and%*egin%to%*e%+nown%for%who%yo'%are% and%the%real%iss'es%yo'%deal%with&%and%not%experiencing%the%rejection%yo'% s'spect%wo'ld%come%yo'r%way&%*'t%an%acceptance%and%love%and%affirmation% for%who%yo'%are.% %mean&%one%of%the%most%positive%things%that%is% happening%in%my%life%is%that%as% %share%my%testimony%to%the%sec'lar%world%-% as%they%read%the%printed%st'ff%that% %have%o't%on%my%own%life&%they%cry&% they%weep&%yo'%+now?%.hey%are%drawn%to%that.%.hey%are%drawn%to%Aod%in% that&%seeing%that%Aod%can%change%something%that%they%tho'ght%was% impossi*le%to%change.%.he%sec'lar%world%is%seeing%this%-%that%indeed&%there% is%no%condition%in%o'r%life%that(s%'nredeema*le%-%that%anything%can%*e% changed. &a!id - 1d li+e to as+ you if you would tea%# us a little )it a)out t#e differen%es )etween )eing a trans!estite* )eing a transse(ual* and )eing a #omose(ual. T#ose are t#ree different t#ings aren1t t#ey? Jerry -%5es%they%are.%7et(s%start%with%transvestism.%.hat(s%mostly%fo'nd% within%the%male%pop'lation&%however%we%are%t'rning%'p%a%n'm*er%of% women%that%are%transvestite%or%carrying%o't%a%transvestite%role.%.o%*e%a% transvestite&%yo'(re%'sing%an%article%of%clothing%or%sym*olic%reference%to% the%opposite%sex%as%a%means%for%sex'al%gratification.% t(s%accompanied% with%the%#1#%word%-%mast'r*ation.%5o'%'se%that%article%of%clothing%as%a%sex% o*ject%for%sex'al%stim'lation%and%self-gratification.%,nd%that(s%a*o't%the% s'm%total%of%it.%5o'(re%identifying%with%the%opposite%sex&%finding%in%that% *rief%moment%of%self-gratification&%an%identity%with%the%opposite%sex.% .here(s%a%*ro+enness%in%yo'r%own%identity%that%reverts%to%that&%or%that% leans%into%that.%,%great%n'm*er%of%transvestites%will%progress%on%into% transsex'al%*ehavior&%thin+ing%more%and%more%that%they%really%want%to%*e% living%within%the%opposite%sex%gender%role. &a!id - s t#at a natural transition t#at e!ery trans!estite e!entually ma+es* or is t#at only t#e %ase in a %ertain 'er%entage of trans!estites? Jerry -%,%certain%percentage% %wo'ld%say.%,s%in%my%case&%the%transsex'al% 's'ally%has%disassociated%themselves%early%on%from%their%gender%role&% saying%very%early&% %don(t%want%to%*e%li+e%daddy&%or% %don(t%want%to%*e%li+e% mommy.% %want%to%*e%the%other%sex.%:hen% %was%five%years%of%age% %was% going%to%*ed%every%night%praying%to%Aod%that% %wo'ld%wa+e%'p%in%the% morning%the%opposite%gender.%.he%transvestite%has%eno'gh%self-identity% esta*lished%-%the%tr'e%transvestite%-has%eno'gh%integrated%self%identity% esta*lished%that%he%or%she%doesn(t%want%to%*e%really%living%in%the%role%of% the%opposite%sex&%*'t%wants%j'st%for%the%moment%to%escape%the%press'res% 18

and%the%tensions%of%that%sex%role%that%they(re%having%to%play%o't%every%day&% and%escape%into%the%other%in%a%moment%of%ill'sion.%.he%transsex'al&% however&%is%the%person%who%is%not%happy%at%all%in%their%original%role&%and%as% they%f'lfill%that%l'st%day%after%day&%wee+%after%wee+&%month%after%month&% life%*ecomes%so%incredi*ly%'ncomforta*le%wal+ing%aro'nd%in%their%Aodgiven%gender%role%that%they%see+%to%change%that%*y%whatever%means%they% can. &a!id - 0o you %an )e a transse(ual and not a%tually go t#roug# a se( %#ange o'eration? Jerry -%)'re.%.here(s%a%lot%of%transsex'als%wal+ing%aro'nd%today.% n%fact&% one%of%the%new%therape'tic%modes%instead%of%having%the%*asic%s'rgery% done%is%to%go%strictly%with%the%hormonal%treatment%where&%let(s%say%a%man% can%then%*egin%to%live%as%a%woman%strictly%*y%the%hormonal%change. &a!id - read an arti%le* 'er#a's a year or more ago* t#at re'orted t#at Jo#ns Ho'+ins 4ni!ersity* w#i%# started t#is w#ole se( %#ange deal* was )eginning to re-t#in+ t#e wisdom of it and #ad sto''ed 'erforming t#e o'erations. &o you #a!e anyt#ing to tell us a)out t#at? Jerry -%.here%are%a%n'm*er%of%hospitals%that%have%stopped%that%s'rgery&% that%invasive%wor+&%and%have%resorted%to%'sing%chemical%interaction%and% intervention.%<ormonal%treatments%do%a%real%n'm*er%for%s're.% %was%on% hormones&%female%hormones&%for%a%year%and%a%half.%,nd%at%the%end%of%that% year%and%a%half% %co'ld%no%longer%f'nction%sex'ally.%.hat%part%of%my%life% was%+noc+ed%o't&%and% %*egan%to%develop%some%feminine%characteristics% for%s're.% %*ecame%+ind%of%a%hippie.% t%was%emotionally%gratifying%to%me%to% *e%a*le%to%ta+e%female%hormones%everyday.% t%j'st%did%something%to%me% emotionally%that% %can(t%descri*e.%6't&%yo'%+now&% (ve%*een%comm'nicating% with%women%who%have%*een%on%male%hormones%and%haven(t%had%the% s'rgery%in%any%way&%*'t%who%have%lived%as%men%for%ten&%eleven&%twelve% years%strictly%on%testosterone&%and%are%now%reverting%*ac+%to%their%original% Aod-given%gender%and%going%off%testosterone%and%going%*ac+%on%female% hormones.%6't%it(s%and%incredi*le%switch%to%go%*ac+. &a!id - s t#ere any e!iden%e t#at t#ere is a geneti% or #ormonal )asis or 'redile%tion for trans!estism or transse(ualism? Jerry -%.he%world%wants%yo'%to%thin+%that%there%is&%*'t%as%*est% % 'nderstand%it&%at%*irth%yo'(re%*orn%with%the%chromosomes%that%indicate% yo'r%sex%-%yo'r%Aod-given%gender.%3ven%if%there%were%some&%as%yo'%say&% predilection%towards%this&%j'st%loo+ing%*etween%yo'r%legs%indicates%what% Aod%wanted%yo'%to%*e%in%yo'r%chromosomal%str'ct're.%:e%live%in%a%very% false%world.%:e(re%very%sinf'lly%inclined%people&%and%witho't%Aod(s% intervention&%and%witho't%see+ing%help%and%healing%from%Aod&% %don(t%see% m'ch%hope%for%a%person%coming%o't%of%this.

19

&a!id - understand t#at e!en #erma'#rodites* w#o #a!e a '#ysi%al 'ro)lem wit# t#eir se(ual organs - e!en t#eir genes tell w#at /od intended t#em to )e. s t#at %orre%t? Jerry -%.hat(s%correct.%8hromosomal%st'dies%are%r'n%on%a%tr'e% hermaphrodite%who%is%exhi*iting%*oth%sets%of%genitals%to%determine%which% is%the%predominate%Aod-given%gender&%and%then%s'rgical%intervention%is% employed%to%ma+e%that%correction.%)o&%chromosomal%st'dies%are%very% clear%and%concise%to%indicate%what%sex%we%are.%,nd%the%whole%thing%that(s% p't%o't%there%*y%the%transsex'al%comm'nity%-%which% %*o'ght%into&%tho'gh% +nowing%down%deep%in%my%g't%that% %was%*'ying%into%a%lie&%*'t%it%so'nded% good&% %wanted%to%*elieve%it&%and% %wanted%others%to%*elieve%it%-%that% %was% really%a%girl%on%the%inside&%and%that%it%was%really%0ennifer%on%the%inside%that% was%wanting%to%*e%expressed%-% %+new%that%it%was%a%lie.% %+new%it%was%*'t% % didn(t%care%*eca'se% %wanted%my%way.% %was%li+e%an%alcoholic%or%a%dr'g% addict.% %wanted%what% %wanted%when% %wanted%it%and%that%was%now%and% % wo'ld%stomp%over%any*ody% %needed%to%get%it. ,nd&%it%is%interesting%to%me%that% %was&%and%this%is%tr'e%of%others%as%well&% that% %was%p'rs'ing%sex%change%even%while%married%and%having%two%great% +ids.%9n%the%side% %was%p'rs'ing%sex%change%s'rgery%-%and% %was%lying%to% the%psychiatrist&%saying% %was%divorced.% %was%doing%everything% %co'ld.% % was%exhi*iting%sheer%masc'line%characteristics%in%that%aggressive%*ehavior% p'rs'ing&%at%all%cost&%achievement%of%my%goal.%<ow%masc'line%is%that&%yo'% +now?%,nd%yet&% %was%wanting%to%*elieve%that% %was%tr'ly%feminine&%when% in%all%reality% %was%demonstrating%j'st%*y%that%very%act&%nothing%*'t%sheer% masc'linity. &a!id - T#at1s fas%inating. .ou +now* t#in+ t#at many of our readers )elie!e t#at a trans!estite or a transse(ual is a #omose(ual. Tell us t#e differen%e. Jerry -%.here%are%homosex'als%who%cross-dress.%:e%call%them%#drag% 2'eens#.%9r%the%world%calls%them%that.% %wo'ld%call%a%homosex'al%that% cross-dresses%and%finds%some%sex'al%gratification%in%that&%a%*ro+en% individ'al&%a%h'man%*eing%in%need%of%restoration%from%Aod.%,%male% homosex'al%who%cross%dresses%and%parades%himself%in%p'*lic%as%a%woman% let(s%say&%is%really%wanting%to%*e%accepted%*y%men%in%that%role&%thin+ing% that%that(s%the%only%way%they%can%*e%accepted.%,nd%they(ll%go%to%the%gay% *ars%and%they(ll%do%that%and%they(ll%parade%themselves%aro'nd%-%they(ll%do% all%+inds%of%n'm*ers%of%things&%*'t%they(re%really%parodying%women.%,nd% really&%as% %have%come%to%discover%in%tal+ing%with%so%many&%that%they%really% hate%women.% t%isn(t%a%desire%to%*e%a%woman&%it%isn(t%a%desire%to%live%as%a% woman%-%they%are%parodying%women.%9't%of%their%intense%hatred%for% women%they(re%saying%in%effect% %am%going%to%*e%*etter%than%yo'&% %am% going%to%ta+e%yo'r%place%and% (m%going%to%s'pplant%yo'&%yo'%+now&%in%my% relationships%with%men. &a!id - Could it also )e a fear of women t#at dri!es t#at )e#a!ior? 20

Jerry -%8o'ld%*e.%)'rely%co'ld%*e.% %thin+%what%is%overriding%however%is%an% incredi*le%hatred%and%disg'st%toward%women%-%and%a%latching&%*eca'se% they(re%trying%to%find%their%completion%in%men. &a!id - .ou1!e )een around a lot of drag 5ueens. 0o t#is is not 3ust t#eory. T#is is somet#ing you1!e o)ser!ed o!er t#e years. Jerry -%9h%yeah.% (ve%interviewed%many%and%tal+ed%at%great%lengths%with% so%many%-%and% (m%not%the%final%word%*y%any%stretch%-%*'t% %do%+now% eno'gh%that% %can%say%with%a%great%deal%of%a'thority%that%the%hatred%of% women%is%really%one%of%the%main%'nderlying%iss'es%that%the%male% homosex'al%deals%with%as%a%drag%2'een. &a!id - .ou #a!e said t#at twenty 'er%ent of trans!estites mig#t )e #omose(ual. T#at1s a relati!ely #ig# num)er w#en you %onsider t#at only two 'er%ent of t#e 'o'ulation is #omose(ual. Jerry -% t%is.%,nd% %don(t%+now%what%to%say%a*o't%that%except%that(s%j'st% what%we(re%discovering. &a!id - &o you )elie!e t#at t#e #omose(ual neurosis in general lends itself to t#e #atred or fear of woman? Jerry -% n%the%homosex'als%we%deal%with&%and%we%deal%with%2'ite%a%few&% there%is%a%leaning%into%the%feminine.%.here%is%a%desire%to%latch%on%to%a% certain%amo'nt%of%feminine%*ehavior&%ways%of%thin+ing&%ways%of%dealing% with%life.%.hin+%a*o't%it%j'st%for%a%min'te.%1any%people%have%formed%a% pict're%of%a%stereotypical&%effeminate%homosex'al&%*'t%it%is%tr'e%that%so% many%of%the%men%partic'larly%in%homosex'ality&%or%the%women%in% les*ianism&%do%demonstrate%the%physical%mannerisms&%the%emotional%ways% of%reacting%to%certain%events%in%life&%li+e%the%opposite%gender&%*eca'se% they(re%leaning%into%that%opposite%gender%for%their%own%identity.%6't%they% haven(t%crossed%over%the%line%as%far%as%the%transsex'als%have%in%completely% rejecting%their%own%gender&%if%that%answers%yo'r%2'estion. &a!id - T#e most fas%inating t#ing is t#at a fully #eterose(ual 'erson - would dress as a woman. T#at is !ery sur'rising. Jerry -%:ell&% %don(t%thin+%it(s%all%that%s'rprising%and% %thin+%that%in%the% f't're%we(ll%*e%seeing%more%and%more%coming%o't%of%the%closet%literally.% .he%transsex'al&%+nown%typically%as%a%closet%2'een&%who%has%done%that%for% so%many%years%in%the%privacy%of%his%or%her%own%*edroom&%is%now%*eginning% to%come%o't%-%*eing%more%*rave%a*o't%confessing%what%they(re%doing&% trying%to%find%social%acceptance%in%that%+ind%of%activity.%:hen%we%started% j'st%a%year%ago%printing%o't%a%newsletter%called%C3,7 .5&%to%the% transsex'als%that%we%served%aro'nd%the%co'ntry&% %had%no%idea%that%we% wo'ld%get%the%response%that%we%did.%:e(re%in%o'r%fo'rteenth%iss'e%and%we% have%more%than%>5@%people%on%o'r%list%who%are%responding%to%this%and% coming%o't%of%the%lifestyle%effectively. 21

&a!id - T#at )rings u' our final area of dis%ussion. "#at is t#e inter!ention 'ro%ess t#at one goes t#roug# in ministering to a transse(ual or a trans!estite? How do you #el' t#em a%#ie!e a #ealt#y identity and wal+ in life? Jerry -%9f%co'rse&%yo'(re%not%going%to%'s'ally%have%the%person%come%to% yo'r%office%or%to%yo'%as%a%private%individ'al%'ntil%they(re%in%really%*ad% straits&%and%'ntil%they(re%really%wanting%help.%.here(s%really%not%m'ch%point% in%trying%to%intervene%'ntil%a%person%wants%the%help&%and%is%desperately% see+ing%it&%*eca'se%its%j'st%*atting%yo'r%head%'p%against%a%*lan+%wall.%6't% once%a%person%*egins%to%see%that%they%need%help&%they(ve%ta+en%the%first% step%in%admitting%that%their%life%is%'nmanagea*le%and%that%in%fact%they(re% powerless%to%do%anything%to%change%themselves.%.hat(s%the%*eginning% step.%.hen%yo'%*egin%to%help%them%get%the%secrets%o't&%to%*egin%to%share% their%life%story%and%their%grief&%their%sense%of%loss. 1any%of%them%have%lost%their%families&%their%wives&%their%h's*ands%-% they(ve%lost%everything%they(ve%had%that%has%*een%important%to%them% thro'gh%the%p'rs'it%of%this%sex'al%l'st%and%fantasy.%5o'%*egin%to%j'st%love% them&%restore%them%as%*est%yo'%can%as%a%h'man%*eing&%*'t%most%of%all% t'rn%them%to%the%7ord%and%get%them%to%start%relating%to%the%7ord%0es's%and% to%Aod%as%their%Father.%.hat(s%a%very%*ig%step%for%most%*eca'se%most%of%'s% j'st%have%not%had%a%relationship%with%an%earthly%father%that(s%*een%worth% two%cents.%<ow%to%stop%transferring%that%relationship%over%to%Aod%and%to% *rea+%that%concept%of%Aod%is%a%really%diffic'lt%thing%to%do%and%ta+es%time.% 5o'%need%to%wor+%the%person%thro'gh%the%3pistles&%primarily%the%6oo+%of% Comans&%to%gain%an%'nderstanding%that%their%new%identity%has%to%*e% fo'nded%in%8hrist&%not%in%the%opposite%gender&%not%in%mom%and%dad&%*'t% that%it%is%formed%in%<im.%.hen%yo'%need%to%help%the%person%wor+%thro'gh% an%'nderstanding%of%how%that(s%accomplished. .here(s%a%lot%of%forgiveness%that%has%to%*e%exhi*ited%toward%a%person%in% yo'r%life%that%has%violated%yo'.%Eerhaps%there(s%*een%sex'al%a*'se&% certainly%there(s%*een%ver*al%a*'se%-%most%certainly%there(s%*een%neglect% or%careless%things%said&%li+e%in%my%own%case%where% %had%to%go%*ac+%to%my% dad%and%mom(s%graves%and%forgive%them%and%as+%their%forgiveness%for% vario's%things.% t(s%a%two%way%street&%and%yo'%have%to%wor+%the%person% thro'gh%that.% t(s%a%very%tedio's&%monotono's%-%not%*oring%-%very%exciting% way%to%see%them%transformed%in%that%way. %thin+%that%pro*a*ly%one%of%the%most%significant%things%yet%that% (ve% already%said%is%to%*e%0es's(%s+in%on%to%them&%to%*e%there%for%them&%to% demonstrate%8hristian%love%and%compassion%and%care%and%to%pray%with%the% person%-%call%them%on%the%phone&%as+%how%they(re%doing.%E't%them%in%an% acco'nta*ility%str'ct're%with%two&%three&%fo'r%individ'als%where%they%have% to%go%once%or%twice%a%wee+%-%to%*e%acco'nta*le%for%what%they(re%doing.% E'tting%'p%a%s'pport%gro'p%aro'nd%them%where%when%they%feel%that%they% are%*eing%drawn%*ac+%*y%old%tho'ghts%and%*y%old%emotions&%they%can%get% on%the%phone%or%get%with%an%individ'al%in%person%-%go%o't%to%l'nch%-%do% 22

something%with%some*ody%in%that%acco'nta*ility%gro'p%to%*rea+%that%cycle% of%addiction. &a!id - 0o t#ere is #o'e for %#ange? Jerry -% ncredi*le%hope%for%change.%.he%thing%that%the%world%is%doing%in% this%day%and%age%is%so%wic+ed%and%so%cr'el%-%to%say%that%there%is%not%hope&% that%yo'(re%j'st%*orn%that%way&%and%yo'%really%don(t%have%any%other%option% *'t%to%j'st%express%the%feminine%within. #tt':66www.trans%#ristians.org6'eo'le63erry-lea%#6de)ate-'art-7 $ea%# de)ate 'art 7 K.his%is%a%series%of%arg'ments%a*o't%the%wor+%of%0erry%7each. Eart%>:%$r.%1ila--o Eart%?:%0erry%7each&%et%al Eart%H:%3philei&%me %too+%the%li*erty%of%reformatting%the%2'otes%for%reada*ility.%%.his%article% originally%incl'ded%a%deceptive%article%posing%as%$r.%1ila--o(s%original%article% which%0erry%created%to%ma+e%her%loo+%*ad.% %explain%this%on%$octoring% $oc'ments.%F5 &%$r.%1ila--o%is%a%transwoman.%.his%article%is%d'plicated%as%Fair% =se.% t%was%originally%accessi*le%from%his%we*site%in%0'ly%?@@J.L Areetings%to%yo'&%$r.%1& 5o'r%article%concerning%#8an%.herapy%8're%Aender%$ysphoria?#%displays%so% many%ass'mptions%and%misleading%as%well%as%scientifically%'ninformed% inferences&%it%seemed%at%first%not%worthy%of%a%response.%6't%if% %do%not%respond&% yo'%co'ld%then%ta+e%that%to%mean%that% %agree%with%what%yo'%have%said%a*o't% me%personally%as%well%as%yo'r%grossly%inacc'rate%misrepresentations%of%c'rrent% scientific%data.%5o'%have%followed%the%all-too-typical%slandero's%proced'res%of% the%homosex'al%and%transsex'al%comm'nity(s%political%agenda.%)mear%tactics% are%so%common%in%o'r%world%today&%aren(t%they?% f%yo'%don(t%agree%with% someone&%do%what%yo'%can%to%discredit%him/her%while%ignoring%the%s'*stantive% and%fact'al%matters%of%the%topic%at%hand.%5o'%who%claim%to%*e%so%incl'sive%and% tolerant%end%'p%revealing%yo'r%excl'sivity%and%intolerance%of%anyone%else(s% views%than%yo'r%own.% (ll%never%forget%the%*ra-en%declaration%of%3ric%Eollard%of% the%,ct-=p%<omosex'al%9rgani-ation%in%his%comments%p'*lished%in%.he% :ashington%6lade&%a%major%homosex'ally%oriented%newspaper.%Cemem*er% when%he%laid%o't%the%wor+ing%model%for%the%Aay%,genda&%where%he%said&%# %and% others%within%o'r%politically%active%Aay%Cights%Aro'p%have%learned%to%apply% s'*versive%tactics%to%accomplish%o'r%ends&%'sing%any%means%necessary&%drawing% o'r%main%tactics%and%strategy%from%the%vol'mino's%1ein%4ampf&%which%we%have% st'died%thoro'ghly%as%o'r%wor+ing%model.#% ,nyone%who%displays%intellect'al/academic%integrity%can%s'rely%recogni-e%that% 23

yo'%are%not%really%well-versed%on%the%s'*ject%at%hand&%nor%are%there%signs%that% yo'%have%done%yo'r%most%*asic%homewor+%on%transgenderism.%5o'r%article%is% rife%with%inn'endo%and%erroneo's%concl'sions&%all%of%which%are%incongr'ent%with% the%most%recently%p'*lished%medical%findings.%5o'r%first%three%sentences%sets% the%premise%for%the%model%'pon%which% %and%many%others%li+e%me%*ase%o'r% position%that%transgender%dysphoria%is%a%direct%res'lt%of%the%emotional%wo'nds% a%person%s'ffers%*etween%the%ages%of%*irth%and%H%to%5%years.% n%addition&%it%is% the%model%'pon%which%we%*ase%o'r%great%hope%for%a%*etter%o'tcome%than%what% yo'%proscri*e%in%yo'r%deterministic&%fatalistic%approach&%'sing%the%s'rgical%s'ite% as%the%end-all-proced're.%5o'r%approach%clearly%does%not%ascri*e%to%the% com*ination%of%so'nd%psychiatric%medicine%co'pled%with%dependence%'pon%a% #<igher%Eower&#%*oth%of%which%have%credi*le%evidence%that%steadfastly% 'ndermine%yo'r%hypothesis.%9ne%of%o'r%male-to-female%transsex'al%friends&% who%had%sex%change%s'rgery%many%years%ago&%and%is%now%in%the%transition% process%of%ret'rning%to%living%in%their%Aod-given%male%role&%said%of%yo'r%article: #$r.%1%has%a%h'ge%vested%interest%in%dis2'alifying%yo'G%j'st%one%loo+%at%his% we*site%displays%his%*ias%and%very%pro*a*le%personal%reasons%that%he%wo'ld%li+e% yo'r%name%erased%from%the%list%of%via*le%contenders%or%competition.#% ,nother%post-operative%male-to-female%transsex'al%exclaimed& #<e%ma+es%so%many%wea+%comparisons.%For%example%yo'%can%say%that%a% common%trait%of%homosex'als%is%a%*ad%relationship%with%their%dad%...%and%even% straight%people%have%that.%6't%we%are%not%tal+ing%a*o't%gro'ps%of%people%hereG% we%are%tal+ing%a*o't%individ'als.%0'st%*eca'se%my%lac+%of%a%father%fig're% contri*'ted%largely%to&%if%not%directly%responsi*le%for%my%A $&%does%not%mean% that%every%*oy%witho't%a%Father%fig're%will%end%'p%a%transsex'al.% f%this%is%what% he%is%trying%to%'se%to%somehow%prove%symptoms%of%A $&%then%he%is%terri*ly%in% error/%,%co'gh%is%a%symptom%of%many%illnesses.%0'st%*eca'se%one%has%a%co'gh% doesn(t%mean%they%have%l'ng%cancer.%<e%offers%very%wea+%and%incomplete&%non-% scientifically%*ased%arg'ments.%<e%tries%to%p't%down%and%dis2'alify%yo'r% experiences%*eca'se%yo'%do%not%have%a%1$%*ehind%yo'r%name.%5o'r% o*servations%are%not%gained%from%a%co'rse%of%st'dy&%*'t%yo'r%career%training% has%ta+en%shape%o't%from%yo'r%personal%*attles%with%the%condition.%:hat%yo'% have%done%in%the%past%has%not%prepared%yo'%for%the%position%yo'%now%hold%as% an% nternational%spo+esperson%for%'sG%the%information%yo'%have%gleaned%from% other%professionals%in%the%field%has%trained%yo'%for%yo'r%co'nseling%position&%not% a%series%of%co'rses%at%some%sterile%and%politically%correct%grad'ate%school.%:hat% does%one%do%in%order%to%*ecome%a%Esychologist?%.hey%get%their%degree%*y% learning%from%other%people(s%wor+.%5o'%have%done%the%same%thing&%*'t%haven(t% done%it%to%earn%some%+ind%of%ed'cational%re2'irement&%or%degree.%5o'%may%not% *e%a%certified%and%credentialed%or%state%licensed%clinical%social%wor+er%or% professional%physician%M%*'t%yo'%have%learned%so%m'ch%in%yo'r%own%personal% wal+%and%now%pass%it%on%to%people%li+e%me.%.he%fact%is&%yo'%do%hold%a%1aster(s% $egree%from%a%well%respected%li*eral%seminary%and%are%not%some%'ned'cated% fanatic%trying%to%deceive&%or%conceal%yo'r%own%misera*le%plight%*y%yo'r%wor+.% 5o'%have%and%are%r'nning%the%race...and%we%get%the%f'll%*enefit%as%yo'%pass%on% the%*aton%to%'s.# 24

,nother%transgendered%person%raised%o*jection%at%yo'r%naive%ass'mptions%and% dishonest%statement%given%on%the%first%page:% #1any%years%of%experience%have%shown%that%therapy%and%medications%cannot% change%one(s%gender%identity.%,s%a%res'lt&%the%c'rrent%accepted%treatment%for% gender%dysphoria%is%directed%toward%ways%to%help%one%cope%with%his%stress&%and% may%incl'de%cross-gender%hormones&%part-time%or%f'll-time%cross-living&% s'pportive%co'nseling%and/or%s'rgical%reassignment.#%.his%person%simply%said&% # s%this%person%awa+e?%<as%his%*ias%totally%*linded%him%to%some%of%the%most% c'rrent%medical%discoveries%which%s'pport%a%longer%and%harder%loo+%at%the% transsex'al%phenomenon&%even%to%the%,merican%1edical%,ssociation(s% consideration%of%disallowing%the%afore-recogni-ed%hormonal%and%s'rgical% treatment%as%the%*est%modern%medicine%has%to%offer?% t%is%plain.%$r.%1%is% 'ninformed%on%what%is%presently%ta+ing%shape%in%the%medical%comm'nity%itself% a*o't%the%whole%matter.# Erotest%to%this%o'trageo's%smear-tactic%*y%yo'&%$r.%1&%against%others%s'ch%as% o'rselves%who%offer%hope%for%restoration%is%coming%into%o'r%office%daily.%9ne% recent%letter&%written%*y%a%medical%research%specialist%said&% #=nfort'nately&%the%comments%which%yo'%have%received%from%this%physician%are% terri*ly%misinformed.#% .here%are%two%themes%r'nning%thro'gh%his%paper: >D%.hat%psychotherapy%does%not%reverse%or%change%gender%identity%or%reverse% gender%identity%dysphoriaG ?D%,%personal%attac+%on%the%credi*ility%of%yo'r%own%diagnosis%as%a%transsex'alG% rather%relegating%yo'%to%the%category%of%a%#mere%transvestite%fetishistic%male.#% %shall%address%*oth%of%these%*elow.% ss'e%>:%#<e%states%Nmany%years%of%experience%have%shown%that%therapy%and% medications%cannot%change%one(s%gender%identity...#%how%does%one%explain%then% the%increasing%n'm*ers%of%former%transsex'als%who%now%claim%to%*e%recovered% and%free%of%the%condition?%0erry%is%*'t%one%example.%,lso&%#.he%cr'cial%2'estion% is%how%effective%s'ch%treatment%may%*e%for%others%M%a%claim%which%scientific% literat're%to%date%does%not%s'pport.#%For%this% %wo'ld%draw%his%attention%to%the% doc'mentary%last%year%in%which%$r.%4enneth%O'c+er&%one%of%the%world(s%most% experienced%researchers%and%clinicians%in%the%area%of%A $&%and%c'rrently%the% chief%editor%of%the%prestigio's%,rchives%of%)ex'al%6ehavior%states:% #Esychotherapy%can%*e%effective%in%treating%transsex'als%so%that%they% event'ally%give%'p%their%desire%for%sex%change&%even%if%there%was%a%*iological% predisposition%for%it.# 9r&%yo'%co'ld%send%him%the%e-mail%yo'%received%from%$r.%O'c+er%where%he%says% that%#with%A $%persons%it%is%j'st%called%therapy&%;9.%reparative%therapy.#%.his% research%specialist%contin'es&%#)ince%$r.%1%provides%no%direct%references%or% credi*le%s'pporting%evidence%for%his%terri*ly%misinformed%statements&%and% 25

resorts%to%psychodynamic%terminology&%e.g..&%acc'ses%yo'%of%*eing%a%victim% merely%of%Nreaction-formation&(%is%'n*elieva*le%coming%from%a%s'pposed% professional.%7et%me%provide%yo'%with%j'st%a%few%c'rrent%scientific%references&% which%indeed%show%the%falseness%of%his%assertions%with%regard%to%scientific%and% psychotherape'tic%s'ccess%in%reversing%and%treating%Aender% dentity%$isorder.% For%starters&%let(s%ta+e%a%loo+%at: 8hiland&%8.%B?@@@D%.he%Esychoanalyst%and%the%.ranssex'al%Eatient:%B nt%.%0.% Esychoanal.%Pol%8>BEt%>D:?>-H5.D )he%concl'des%that%transsex'alism%is%a%narcissistic%disorder%in%which%the% constit'tion%of%the%self%has%*een%profo'ndly%impaired%and%that%it%is%only%since% analysis%have%em*ar+ed%on%the%treatment%of%non-ne'rotic%patients%that%the% condition%has%*ecome%accessi*le%to%psychoanalytic%psychotherapy%or%indeed% psychoanalysis.%.he%diffic'lties%not%withstanding&%the%a'thor%considers%that% s'ch%wor+%is%worthwhile%and%that%patients%can%and%do%*enefit%from%it.% 1eyen*'rg&%6.%B>IIID:%Aender% dentity%$isorder%in%adolescence:%o'tcomes%of% psychotherapy. ,dolescence.%)'mmerG%H"B>H"D:H@5-H>H. .his%paper%reviews%reports%of%A $%in%which%adolescent%psychotherapy%patients% initially%desiring%sex%reassignment%changed%their%minds%following% psychotherapy.% 1osler&%..%&%:osheim&%<.,.%B>II5D:%.ranssex'alism:%,n%extreme%form%of%sex'al% identity%disorder.%Fortschr.1ed.,pr.%>@:>>H%B>@D:>"@->"H.%Cecently%there%have% *een%reports%of%s'ccessf'l%psychotherape'tic%treatment%res'lting%in%the% preservation%of%the%original%*iologically%given%sex.%,lso%reports%of%s'ccessf'l% psychotherape'tic%treatment%of%transsex'als. )'gar&%1.%B>II5D%,%clinical%,pproach%to%8hildhood%Aender% dentity%$isorder:% ,merican%0o'rnal%of%Esychotherapy.%)pringG%"I%B?D:%?!@-?8>. ,%review%of%gender%identity%disorder%is%presented%along%with%a%case%of%a%fo'ryear-old%*oy.%,n%overview%of%some%of%the%*iological%theories%of%gender%identity% disorder%directs%o'r%attention%via%the%clinical%material%to%conflict/defense%as%the% most%'sef'l.%.he%yo'ngster(s%cross-gender%*ehavior&%possi*le%contri*'tions%to% it&%treatment%iss'es%related%to%parental%inp't&%*o'ndaries&%and%transitional% o*jects%are%considered.%.he%necessity%of%close%comm'nication&%cooperation&% and%proper%g'idance%to%parents&%as%well%as%involving%them%in%individ'al%therapy% is%stressed. 7oe*&%7.C.%B>II?D%,nalysis%of%the%transference%ne'rosis%in%a%child%with% transsex'al%symptoms.% ,mer.%0.%Esychoanalysis%Pol.%"@%B?D:%58J-!@5%states%1y%o*servations&%as% reported%previo'sly%B7oe*%&%)hane&%>I8@D%and%shown%in%the%present%case&%is% that%the%transsex'al%symptom%complex%can%develop%o't%of%intrapsychic%conflict% and%*e%resolved%in%a%f'lly%developed%transference%ne'rosis.%,s%he%came%to% 26

'nderstand%his%conflicts%the%*oy(s%transsex'al%symptoms%vanished. Efafflin&%F.B>II"D%.ranssex'al%$efense.%Esyche%B)t'ttgD.%)ept.%-%9ctG"8%BI->@D% I@"-IH>. .he%patient(s%insistence%on%*eing%ac+nowledged%as%a%woman%is%regarded%here% as%a%creative%defense%connected%with%inade2'ate%separation%and%individ'ation.% 9ppenheimer&%,.%B>II>D%.he%:ish%for%a%)ex%8hange:%,%8hallenge%to% Esychoanalysis?% nt.0.%Esychoanal.J?%BEt%?D:??>-?H>. 9n%the%*asis%of%the%a'thor(s%o*servations&%the%determining%psychological%factor% is%stated%to%*e%the%hatred%of%masc'linity. 1ar+s&% .&%Areen&%C.&%1ata'x-8ols&%$.%B?@@@D%,d'lt%Aender%$isorder%8an%Cemit.% Esychiatry%0'l-,'gG%">%B"D:?JH-?J5. f%eval'ated%over%many%years&%A $(s%and%paraphilias%can%*e%less%fixed%than%is% often%tho'ght. )termac&%7.%et%al.%B>II>D%Aro'p%.herapy%for%Aender%$ysphoric%<eterosex'al% 1en. 4'chenhoft&%6.&%B>I88D%.ranssex'alism%as%a%symptom%of%personality%disorder% and%its%treatment.%$ecG5I%B>?D:JH"-JH8 E'ri&%6.4.%&%)ingh&% .%B>II!D%.he%)'ccessf'l%.reatment%of%the%Aender% $ysphoric:%Eatient%with%Eimo-ide.%,'st.%;O.0.%EsychiatryG%0'neG%H@%BHD:"??"?5. 4ersting&%,.&%et.al.B?@@HD%$issociative%$isorders%and%.ra'matic%3xperiences%in% .ranssex'als.0.;erv.1ent.$is.1arG%>I>BHD:>8?->8I. .he%total%score%for%the%dissociative%symptoms%revealed%no%significant% differences%*etween%the%transsex'als%and%the%psychiatric%inpatients.%F'rther% investigations%are%needed%to%throw%more%light%on%the%phenomenological% correlation%*etween%transsex'alism%and%dissociative%identity%disorders&%'sing% taxometric%analysis.% ss'e%?:%#.his%physician%states%that%0erry%7each%may%not%have%had% transsex'alism%or%A $&%*'t%rather%transvestic%fetishism.% t%seems%that%this% physician%is%totally%'nfamiliar%with%the%concept%of%#a'togynephilia% transsex'als&#%who%pro*a*ly%ma+e%'p%the%most%of%those%*oth%pre-op%and%postop.% f%this%person%were%to%read%a*o't%the%sex'al%aro'sal%and%mast'r*ation%in% a'togynephilia%patients/transsex'als&%and%then%read%yo'r%*oo+%man'script&% Flight%.oward%:oman&%there%wo'ld%not%*e%any%mis'nderstanding%that%yo'% wo'ld%even%2'alify%as%a%#ego-dystonic%transvestite%fetishist.#%.he%physician% needs%to%read%a*o't%the%enormo's%amo'nt%of%p'*lications%of%Cay%6lanchard%on% a'toerotic%aro'sal%in%transsex'als.% :hat%yo'%are%doing&%0erry&%is%not%reparative%therapy.% t%is%not%f'ndamental% religio's%-ealotry/% t%is%mainstay%psychotherapy&%which%has%*een%reported% s'ccessf'l%with%many%cases%of%Aender%$ysphoric%patients&%altho'gh%there%is% 27

tremendo's%press're%from%the%social%activists%to%politici-e%these%things&%and% ma+e%statements%a*o't%how%)ex%8hange%)'rgery%is%.<3%,;):3C&%in%a*sence% of%credi*le%or%verifia*le%data%to%s'pport%s'ch%erroneo's%and%*road-sweeping% claims.% %wo'ld%as+%this%Ehysician&%#<ave%yo'%read%the%*oo+&%.he%Aene% ll'sion:% Aenetic%Cesearch%in%Esychiatry%and%Esychology%'nder%the%1icroscope?#%written% *y%0ay%0oseph&%Esy.$.?#%B )6;%>8I8@5I%"J%@D%Eaper*ac+%Q>8.@@ .a+e%a%2'ic+%loo+%at%the%.a*le%of%contents:% .win%Cesearch:%1is'nderstanding%twins%from%Aalton%to%the%?>st%8ent'ry. .he%.win%1ethod:%,n%environmentally%confo'nded%research%method. ,%8riti2'e%of%)t'dies%of%.wins .he%<erita*ility%8oncept:%,%meas're%of%inheritance&%or%inherently%misleading? .he%Aenetics%of%)chi-ophrenia%>:%9verview .he%Aenetics%of%)chi-ophrenia%?:%,doption%)t'dies s%8riminal%6ehavior%in%Aenes?%)t'dies%of%8riminal%&%,ntisocial%6ehavior Aenetics%and% R 1olec'lar%Aenetic%)t'dies%in%Esychiatry%and%Esychology:%,n%exercise%in%f'tility? :here%$o%:e%Ao%From%<ere? $escription:%0ay%0oseph(s%*oo+%provides%a%re*'ttal%of%the%evidence%cited%in% s'pport%of%pop'lari-ed%genetic%theories. #Far%from%esta*lishing%the%importance%of%genes&%this%*oo+%shows%that%family&% twin&%and%adoption%st'dies%are%plag'ed%*y%researcher%*ias&%'nso'nd% methodology&%and%a%reliance%on%'ns'pported%theoretical%ass'mptions.% F'rthermore&%he%demonstrates%how%this%research%has%*een%'sed%to%s'pport%the% interests%of%those%attempting%to%*olster%conservative%social%and%political% agendas.# :hat%are%the%forces%that%shape%who%we%are?%9r%how%we%live?%9r%how%we%act?% ,re%we%shaped%*y%o'r%environment&%or%*y%o'r%genes?% ncreasingly&%we%are%told% that%research%has%confirmed%the%importance%of%genetic%factors%infl'encing% physical%and%psychiatric%disorders&%personality&%intelligence&%sex'al%orientation&% criminality&%and%so%on. 1'ch%of%the%scientific%data%has%*een%prod'ced%*y%the%fields%of%*ehavior%genetics% and%psychiatric%genetics.%.his%*oo+%loo+s%into%other%factors%than%the% traditionally%*lea+%view%of%h'mans%and%their%f't're%laid%o't%*y%those%claiming% that%heredity%is%of%overriding%importanceG%that%h'man%s'ffering%is%not%ca'sed% *y%people(s%genes.%Cather&%it%comes%from%well-+nown%and%well-doc'mented% psychologically%tra'matic%events%and%environments.%.his%*oo+%is%essential% reading%for%anyone%see+ing%an%alternative%to%the%increasingly%pop'lar&%yet% mista+en%view%that%#genes%are%destiny.#%)o&%$r.%1&%in%yo'r%introd'ction&%yo'% demonstrated%a%very%clear&%pre-determined%*ias&%which%does%not%ac+nowledge% or%find%any%alignment%with%c'rrent%medical%viewpoints%on%transsex'ality&%*etter% descri*ed%as%Aender% dentity%$isorder.%BA $D%5o'r%opening%remar+s%that%#one(s% core%identity%is%+nown%to%*e%permanently%formed%*y%early%childhood%...%many% years%of%experience%have%shown%that%therapy%and%medications%cannot%change% one(s%gender%identity...#%is%so%o't%of%sync%with%the%times%in%which%we%now%live.% 28

n%an%article%entitled%N,re%.ranssex'als%6orn%.hat%:ay?(%BE'*lished%in%the% 8hristian%1edical%Fellowship%B=4D%0o'rnal%N.riple%<elix(%,'t'mn%?@@@D&%$r.%;eil% :hitehead%states: #Aro'ps%s'ch%as%transsex'als%and%homosex'als%therefore%arg'e%that%their% *iology%determines%their%sex'al%orientation.%.his%stri+es%a%chord%with%many&% partic'larly%sympathetic%8hristians.%.his%is%a%modern%arg'ment%since%only%fifty% years%ago%over%I@S%of%homosex'als%*elieved%that%they%were%not%*orn%that% way&%while%in%today(s%world&%most%transsex'als%thin+%that%their%longing%for%sex% change%is%innate&%*iologically%derived%and%'nchangea*le%-%a%standpoint%that%is% +nown%as%Ndeterminism.(# :hitehead%adds&%#6iologists%discarded%*ehavioral%determinism%decades%ago&% yet%politicians%and%activists%still%cling%to%this%theory%...while%transsex'als%and% homosex'als%arg'e%that%st'dies%have%shown%that%their%*rain%microstr'ct're%is% more%feminine%...%#%the%most%'ne2'ivocal%evidence%is%that%str'ct'res%are% prod'ced%*y%long-contin'ed%*ehavior.% t%is%+nown%that%the%*rain%changes% physically%in%response%to%o'r%*ehavior%...%transsex'al%*rain%differences%are% therefore%more%li+ely%to%*e%the%res'lt%of%transsex'al%*ehavior&%rather%than%its% ca'se.#% :hitehead%concl'des&%saying&%#6ehavior%genetics&%for%all%its%fa'lts&%has% esta*lished%that%all%*ehaviors%are%a%mixt're%of%genes&%family%environment&% 'ni2'e%circ'mstances&%and%individ'al%choice.%;o%one%forces%'s%into%a%given% *ehavior.%)o&%is%it%possi*le%to%change?%$efinitely...# ,n%academic%Esychiatrist%in%the%=nited%4ingdom&%has%stated%B,'g'st%@?D: # n%the%case%of%transsex'alism&%there%is%no%consens's%amongst%clinicians%a*o't% the%effectiveness%of%psychological%treatments%*'t%there%is%evidence%that&%in%a% proportion%at%least&%their%perceived%2'ality%of%life%may%*e%improved%*y%cosmetic% and%reconstr'ctive%s'rgery.%)'rgery%and%prolonged%hormonal%manip'lation% involves%n'mero's%and%painf'l%interventions%reflecting%an%extraordinary%level%of% conviction.%6't%commitment%and%conviction%is%a%feat're%of%many%psychiatric% conditions%in%which%individ'als%hold%the%*eliefs%that%do%not%fit%the%facts. .he%degree%of%conviction%with%which%a%conviction%is%held%sho'ld%not%determine% its%validity.#% F'rther&%a%)pecialist%Cegistrar%in%Forensic%Esychotherapy&%in%the%=nited%4ingdom% has%written%on%transsex'ality&%saying:%#Cecently%the%Coyal%)ociety%of%1edicine% organi-ed%a%one%day%conference%devoted%into%the%thin+ing%of%the%f't're% planning%of%treatment%reso'rces%for%transsex'al%patients.%B)ex'al%<ealth%and% Ceprod'ctive%1edicine%)ection:%,pril%@?D.%#$'ring%this%day%there%was%a%distinct% scarcity%of%any%attempts%at%psychological%'nderstanding%of%these%individ'als%or% helping%to%'nderstand%themselves%of%to%treat%the%conflict%in%any%other%way% other%than%s'rgically.%9ther%than%the%gro'p%which% %r'n% %+now%of%no%other%form% of%psychoanalytical%*ased%psychotherapy%gro'p%clinicians%in%the%=.4.%offering%a% for'm%for%s'ch%patients%to%'nderstand%themselves.% nstead&%there%seems%to%*e% 29

an%a*'ndance%of%interest%in%achieving%a%fine%t'ning%of%s'rgical%proced'res%in% the%hope%that%this%will%offer%a%Nlong%term%sol'tion(%to%these%patient(s%pro*lems.% 9'r%extensive%collected%experience%in%wor+ing%with%these%patients%and% attempting%to%'nderstand%their%transsex'al%conflict%has%proved%that%there%is%no% simple&%'nified%aetiology%for%this%condition%and%we%feel%that%a%single%treatment% approach&%especially%one%involving%little%or%no%psychological%inp't%is%of%great% concern.# $r.%1&%we%transsex'als%together%thin+%yo'%might%*etter%spend%yo'r%time%and% energies%see+ing%a%more%informed%'nderstanding%of%transgendered%personsG% enco'raging%and%s'pporting%those%who%feel%personal%p'rpose%in%not%aligning% with%the%traditionally%accepted%c'lt'ral%views%which%offer%only%one%reco'rse&% s'rgical%intervention.%)ociety%changes%its(%mind%on%anythingG%facts%do%not/% .r'ly&%the%transgendered%individ'al%is%among%the%most%mis'nderstood%and% personally%maligned%minority%in%o'r%world.%.hat%is%the%very%reason%we%offer%a% compassionate%alternative%to%what%is%today%the%#one-fits-all-mentality#%of%those% who%sho'ld%+now%*etter.%9f%co'rse&%we%also%incl'de%the%very%missing%spirit'al% dynamic%of%today(s%so-called%experts&%stating%that%with%the%help%of%o'r%N<igher% Eower(%we%can%find&%along%with%the%m'ch%needed%professional%psychotherapy&%a% resol'tion%to%the%emotional%t'rmoil%within%referred%to%as%Aender% dentity% $isorder.%)'rely&%yo'%do%not%claim%that%yo'r%article%or%o'tdated%treatment%plan% offered%decades%ago%*y%$r.%<arry%6enjamin%is%the%*est%or%only%alternative%in% o'r%modern%age&%do%yo'?% f%yo'%do&%it%is%then%clear%that%yo'%need%to%do%some% more%serio's%homewor+.%0'st%the%few%references%cited%in%this%response%sho'ld% ca'se%yo'%to%pa'se%and%more%caref'lly%reflect%on%yo'r%non-scientifically%*ased% concl'sions.% %loo+%forward%to%hearing%a*o't%yo'r%new%discoveries%as%yo'%apply%yo'rself%to% the%tas+%of%'pdating%yo'rself%in%the%recent%and%c'rrent%literat're%of%the%times%in% which%we%live.% t%is%2'ite%apparent%to%me%that%yo'%have%m'ch%more%than%a% professionally-foc'sed%interest%in%this%s'*ject.%Ceflected%in%yo'r%words%is%an% o*vio's%personal%pain%and%search%for%yo'r%own%.r'th.% %am%here%to%address% that%pain%...%and%offer%the%help%that%yo'%and%others%li+e%'s%despair%of%really% *eing%availa*le.%.han+%yo'%so%m'ch%for%as+ing%me%to%respond%to%this%article.% Eerhaps%what% %have%said%herein%will%have%prevented%yo'%from%inevita*le% em*arrassment.% %sincerely%hope%so.%6't%more%than%that&% %want%yo'%to%+now% that% %am%eager%to%come%alongside%of%yo'%in%yo'r%jo'rney%towards%wholeness&%if% yo'%sho'ld%decide%to%o*tain%help. )incerely& 0erry%7each&%1.$iv.&%,,88 http://www.transchristians.org/*oo+/*oo+-sex-and-intersex/response-of-pro*inary-organi-ations Res'onse of Pro-8inary -rgani,ations

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From Sex and Intersex. Version 0. .2 ntersex % conditions % provide % the % most % o*vio's % arg'ment % against % a % Aod% determined % gender % for % every % individ'al % manifested % and % 'nderstood % thro'gh% sex.% t%is%for%this%reason%that%gender%*inary%advocates%rarely%ac+nowledge%the% existence%of%intersex%people.%%:hen%they%do%ac+nowledge%them&%they%have%two% responses: % > % $efend % the % concept % of % a % *inary % of % the % sexes % *y % giving% misinformation%that%intersex%cases %occ'r%more%rarely%than%they%do% and %that% finding % their % so-called % tr'e% sex% is % easy. % ?% gnore %or% dismiss %the% idea % that% a% lac+ing%*inary%of%sexes%is%even%related%to%a%lac+ing%*inary%of%genders. Misinforming n%iden%e ,gain&%perhaps% (m%naive%*'t% %give%others%the%*enefit%of%the%do'*t.%:hat% %call% #misinformation#%may%*etter%*e%descri*ed%as%#lying.# .he % only % complete % way % to % *elieve % that % h'mans % are % #male % or% female# % is % to% ignore % intersex % people % altogether. % .hat(s % typically % the % case.%% :hen % gender% defenders %are%somewhat%more %informed %or%honest& %they %soften%the %*low%*y% presenting%misinformation%that%states%or%implies%intersex%people%are%more%rare% than%they%act'ally%are. $avid%4otter%of%.he%8o'ncil%on%6i*lical%1anhood%and%:omanhood&%for%instance&% co'ld%not%even%correctly%2'ote%the%;ew%5or+%.imes&%saying%only%one%in%?@&@@@% women%carry%a%5%chromosomes. %Bhttp://www.c*mw.org/6log/Eosts/1ale-andFemale-<e-8reated-,thletes- s-.here-a-$ifference% %reported%the%error%*'t%he% did%not%correct%it.D%%.he%.imes%correctly%stated%the%statistic%is%do'*le&%a*o't%one% in%>@&@@@%women.http://www.nytimes.com/?@@8/@8/@H/opinion/@H*oylan.html% .he % 8hristian % nstit'te % even % claimed % in % front % of % Earliament& % in % p'shing % that% #intersex % conditions % are % rare&# % said& % #4linefelterTs % and % .'rnerTs % syndromes&% which % are % not % intersex% conditions.#www.christian.org.'+/transsex'alism/intersex_*riefing.doc% .he%3vangelical%,lliance%is%only%slightly%*etter.%# n%the%overwhelming%majority% of%individ'als%BII.5SD%sex&%if%physical%characteristics%Bthe%presence%of%a%vagina% or%a%penisD%is%o*vio's%at%*irth.p?>%;ote%the%pers'asive%phrase&%#overwhelming% majority&#%s'ggesting%the%minority%doesn(t%co'nt.%.his%isn(t%necessarily%false%*'t% is % hypocritical. % For % intersex % people % they % 'se % only % genitals& % not % genes % to% determine%#tr'e%sex#%*'t%for%post-op%trans%people%they%'se%only%genes%and%not% genitals.% t%also%ignores%cases%li+e%clitoromegaly%where%the%clitoris%is%a%clitoris% *'t%s'rgically%altered%*eca'se%it%is%not%#o*vio's%eno'gh.# ,n % acc'rate % statistic % of % all % intersex % is % greater % than % >.JS % of % all % *irths&=sing% ,nne%Fa'st(s%famo's%paper.%)he%defines%an%intersex%person%as%an%#individ'al% who % deviates % from % the % Elatonic % ideal % of % physical % dimorphism % at % the% chromosomal& % genital& % gonadal& % or % hormonal % levels.# % .his % is % perfect % for % o'r% disc'ssion%*eca'se%the%gender/sex%*inary%is%a%pair%of%Elatonic/divine%ideals.%% over%three%times%more%common%than%stated.%)hifting%from%*irth%to%conception&% as%all%good&%pro-life%8hristians%sho'ld&%intersex%is%conditions%are%over%H.JS. % 31

arrive % at % this % incidence % simply % *y % adding % the % rate % of % .'rner % syndrome % at% conception%B?SD%and%add%the%rate%of%intersex%at%*irth%B>.J?8SD%min's%the%rate% of % .'rner % syndrome % at % *irth % B@.@"SD: % ?U>.J?8-@.@"=H.J?".%% .his % is % a% conservative%n'm*er%that%an%intersex%*a*y%is%less%li+ely%to%s'rvive%than%a%nonintersex%*a*y.%% Misinforming Cases ,fter % or % in % place % of % misconstr'ing % how % common % intersex % cases % are& % they% deceive%listeners%to%*elieve%that%intersex%cases%are%#less#%intersex%than%they% really%are.%.hat%is&%they%want%to%paint%intersex%people%as%either%mostly%female% with%minor%male%attri*'tes%or%vice%versa.%4otter&%for%example&%says&%#of%women% who%carry%a%5%chromosome&%most%are%feminine%in%appearance%and%are%a*le%to% *ear%children.#%.his%is%simply%false.%;o%one%with%, )%can%give%*irth.%1osaicism% is%an%exception.%1osaicism%is%an%exception%to%any%statement%a*o't%sex.%.his% wo'ld%re2'ire%a%woman%who%is%almost%entirely%VV%with%very%few%V5%cells.% %have% never%heard%of%s'ch%a%thing&%*'t% %*elieve%it%co'ld%*e%technically%possi*le. %%.he% 3vangelical%,lliance%is%*rief%*'t%deceptive. .hese%examples&%altho'gh%they%deal%with%medical%a*normalities&%do%show%that% defining % (sex( % from % a % scientific % point % of % view % B*y % external % genitalia& % internal% genitalia&%or%chromosomesD%can%in%practice%*e%less%than%straightforward.p?>%% ,gain& % notice % the % minority % emphasis. % #7ess % than % straightforward&# % it % is% impossi*le/%)ome%intersex%conditions&%*oth%in%theory%and%practice&%simply % do not !a"e a sex.% ntersex%is%the%space%where%male%and%female%overlap%and%in% the%center%of%that%overlap%is%a%region%that%c annot #e di"ided%into%either%male%or% female. 0erry%7each%is%the%worst.%<e%also%is%*rief&%writing%one%page.%<e%does%not%even% ac+nowledge%that%intersex%conditions %exist%which%are%neither%VV%nor%V5.%<is% entire%thesis%is%that%#Aender%refers%to%one(s%Aod-given%genetic%sex&%male%or% female&%which%is%irreversi*ily%fixed%at%the%moment%of%conception%*y%pairing%of% the%?Hrd&%or%sex-determining%chromosomes%Bxx%or%xyD.#Flight%.oward%:oman&% p!8%%% ,c+nowledging % V9& % VV5& % or % 1osaicism % wo'ld % 2'ic+ly % 'ndermine % his% worldview.%% <e % only % ac+nowledges % am*ig'o's % genitalia..o % *e % fair& % he % does% mention % #.'rner(s % syndrome % BV9D& % 4linefelter(s % syndrome % BVV5D# % Bp!8D % *'t% witho't%explaining%what%V9%and%VV5%mean.%6eca'se%he%later%contradicts%their% existence&%any%reader%not%previo'sly%aware%of%atypical%+aryotypes%wo'ld%not% 'nderstand%them%from%cryptic%mentions.%<e%denies%the%existence%of%intersex% +aryotypes % *y % stating % n'mero's % times % that % a % +aryotype % test % will % determine% whether%the%person%is%male%or%female.%,s+ed%*y%an%interviewer&% &a!id:%# %'nderstand%that%even%hermaphrodites&%who%have%a%physical%pro*lem% with%their%sex'al%organs%-%even%their%genes%tell%what%Aod%intended%them%to%*e.% s % that % correct?# Jerry:%.hat(s%correct.%8hromosomal%st'dies%are%r'n%on%a%tr'e%hermaphrodite% who%is%exhi*iting%*oth%sets%of%genitals%to%determine%which%is%the%predominate% Aod-given % gender& % and % then % s'rgical % intervention % is % employed % to % ma+e % that% 32

correction. % )o& % chromosomal % st'dies % are % very % clear % and % concise % to % indicate% what%sex%we%are.% t%ta+es%a%lot%of%fear%to%lie%so%*oldly.%6't%7each%is%eno'gh%of%a%fool%that%he%may % not%reali-e%his%error%and%is%happy%to%spread%his%ignorance.%% 7each%also%states% that % parents % will % always % +now % if % their % child % is % intersex % thro'gh % the % doctor.% =nfort'nately&%this%is%not%tr'e.%%1any%doctors%conceal%intersex%conditions%from% *oth%patient%and%parents%*elieving%the%*est%thing%to%do%is%avoid%*'rdening%them% with%the%tr'th.%.his%is%slowly%changing. A)omina)le 8e#a!ior 8hristians%sho'ld%not%accept%gender%defenders%to%ignore%the%facts&%or%even%lie% *'t%there%is%line%*etween%*ad%academics%and%o'tright%disg'sting%*ehavior.%% <istorically&%intersex%people%have%*een%greater%victims%than%trans%people.%)ome% c'lt'res%responded%*y%+illing%all%infants%with%am*ig'o's%genitals&%*elieving%they% were%c'rsed.%B9ther%c'lt'res%*elieved%they%were%*lessed&%having%the%d'al% power%of%male%and%female.D%$e*orah%6rown&%director%of% ntersex%)'pport% Aro'p% nternational&%was%thrown%o't%of%her%6aptist%ch'rch%when%they% discovered%her%genitals%at%*irth%were%am*ig'o's.%,nother%8hristian%was%denied% *aptism%*eca'se%her%ch'rch%decided%she%was%not%made%in%the%image%of%Aod%as% descri*ed%in%Aenesis%>.?J.%.he%only%relief%from%this%o'trageo's%*ehavior%is%that% ch'rches%are%too%ashamed%to%carry%o't%this%*igotry%p'*licly. 1any%gender%defenders%ta+e%the%action%of%one%trans%person%and%smear%every% trans%person%ali+e.% n%0erry%7each(s%case&%that%one%trans%person%is%himself.%.hat% is%not%my%intent.%Cather%my%intent%is%to%demonstrate%the%gender/sex%*inary%has% proven%itself%a%vehicle%for%sin%and%hate%*eca'se%it%appeals%to%o'r%*aser%instincts% of%excl'ding%those%different.%0es's%lived%the%practice%of%li*eral%incl'sion%of% minorities%Band%li*eral%excl'sion%of%sinD%and%no%one%denies%transgenderism% promotes%this%same%genero's%incl'sion.%#5o'%shall%+now%a%tree%*y%its%fr'it.# T#eology .here%is%a%consistent%theology%for%intersex%in%the%pro-*inary%ideology. 6eca'se%this%is%a%fallen%world&%there%are%*irth%defects%that%affect%all%parts%of%the% h'man%anatomy&%*'t%these%extremely%rare%defects%do%not%invalidate%the%*inary% nat're % of % Aod(s % good % design % of % manhood % and % womanhood.% www.c*mw.org/6log/Eosts/1ale-and-Female-<e-8reated-,thletes- s-.here-a$ifference%% 7i+e%any%other%defect&%intersex%conditions%sho'ld%*e%treated%to%conform%to%the% #good%design#%of%what%we%*elieve%the%h'man%*ody%sho'ld%*e.%.reatment% incl'des%genital%s'rgery&%*reast%removal&%hair%removal&%and/or%artificial% hormones&%exactly%the%same%methods%transex'als%'se. 8hristian%orthodoxy%affirms%that%corr'ption%of%o'r%*odies%mystically%res'lts% from%the%corr'ption%of%o'r%actions.%9rthodoxy%does%not%affirm%that%every% 33

imperfection%is%corr'ption%*'t%that%Aod%can%'se%imperfections%for%Aod(s%glory% 9'r%ideas%of%perfection%is%infl'enced%*y%o'r%c'lt're.%:hile%o'r%c'lt're%views% graying%hair%as%imperfection&%the%<e*rews%considered%it%a%*lessingG%the% <e*rews%considered%*eing%left%handed%imperfection%*'t%we%consider%it%nat'ral% diversity.%%1any%in%the%intersex%comm'nity%*elieve%this%of%themselves.%Cather% than%enter%this%controversy&% %will%accept%the%sa+e%of%arg'ment%that%intersex% occ'rrences%are%categorically%'ndesired%*y%Aod. &ismissal and Referral Aender%defenders%are%also%consistent%in%their%dismissal%of%the%existence%of% intersex%cases%of%*eing%of%any%importance%to%theology%or%transgenderism.%%.hey% 'nanimo'sly%and%strongly%affirm%that%transex'als%are%not%intersex%and%vice% versa.8f.%.ranssex'ality%,%Ceport%p??&%Flight%p!8%and% www.christian.org.'+/transsex'alism/intersex_*riefing.doc%%.he%only%reason% they%mention%intersex%cases%are%to%demonstrate%they%are%different%from%the% transgender%condition.%.hey%act%as%if%tal+ing%a*o't%intersex%conditions%is%a%red% herring.%7each%spends%most%of%his%time%Band%the%3P%,lliance%spends%halfD% arg'ing%that%trans%people%have%normal%physiology.% n%fact&%%their%response%is% the%red%herringG%%transgenderism%does%not%s'ggest%trans%people%have%intersex% genitals&%gonads&%hormones&%or%genes. 7each%has%a%strict%policy%that%he%does%not%treat%people%who%are%intersex%and% 4eith%.iller%advocates%that%wo'ld-*e%transex'als%*e%tested%for%*eing%intersex% *efore%therapy. n%practice&%this%doesn(t%happen.%0osef%4irchner&%a%transex'al&% fo'nd%o't%m'ch%later%that%he%is%intersex%with%mosaicism.%Eara+aleo%and%others% still%praise%him%as%someone%who%came%o't%of%transex'ality.%)ee% para+aleo.co.'+/F,Rs.html%%8learly%they%want%nothing%to%do%with%intersex% iss'es.%%7each%incl'ded%a%story%on%his%site%a*o't%someone%assigned%male&% identifies%as%female&%and%later%discovered%they%were%intersex.%.he%person% presents%as%a%woman%in%private%and%a%man%in%p'*lic%to%avoid%scandal%and%7each% approves%of%this%arrangement.%<e%also%says%of%intersex%people&%#:e%f'lly% 'nderstand%that%there%are%scientifically%proven%and%valid%instances%in%which% there%is%legitimate%ca'se%for%gender%corrective% s'rgeries.#www..rans8hristians.org/people/jerry-leach/archives/intersexdisclaimer%4eith%.illerPia%private%email%correspondence.%%and%the%3P%,lliance% *riefly%state%a%similar%stance.% :e%have%seen%that%gender%defenders%consistently%deceive%regarding%the%extent% and%diversity%of%intersex%people.%.his%cannot%*e%coincidenceG%they%m'st%have%a% strong%reason.% n%their%hearts&%they%m'st%feel%fear%for%the%logical%implications% that%intersex%conditions%*ring.% t%is%the%same%fear%which%has%excomm'nicated% and%m'rdered%intersex%people.%%.hose%implications%are%the%reason% intersex'ality%is%so%relevant%to%transgenderism.%

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