Volume 7, Issue 382


3 Apr - 9 Apr 2014 (382)

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month. Bali Has Record reported by the Bali Revenues of US$62.7 Post,As the deputy-director of million in 2013 from Bank Indonesia in Bali, Visa on Arrival Fees Suarpika Bumantoro, said To t a l r e v e n u e s collected from visa-onarrival fees (VOA) in Bali in 2013 brought US$62.7 million to government coffers or an average of US$5.2 million each month. VOA fees in 2012 averaged US$4.8 million a the increase in VOA fees reflect the increase in visitor arrivals to Bali and the important contribution of foreign exchange made by foreign visitos to Bali's economy.


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Kuta Weekly

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standby in the event that a passing aircraft declares an emergency and requests a technical landing or an medical evacuation flight needs to take a patient out of Bali. According to Nusa Bali, the last landing before the shutdown will be Malaysian Airlines (MH867) from Kuala Lumpur scheduled to land at 2:35 am on March 31, 2014. Meanwhile, the first scheduled departure is slated to be Garuda Indonesia (GA403) leaving for Jakarta at 8:00 am on April 1, 2014 followed by Cebu Airlines (CEB280) bound for Manila at 8:35 am. www.balidiscovery.com

Kuta Weekly

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There were No Comings and Goings
400 Flights to Be Cancelled in Bali D u r i n g N y e p i Shutdown of Island's Airport
During the mandatory 24 hours of silence over the Nyepi New Year period from sunrise on Monday, March 31 until the following sunrise on April 1, 2014 - some 400 flights in and out of Bali's Ngurah Rai International Airport canceled or diverted to other locales. Those in charge of Bali's airport calculate 248 domestic and 152 international flights will be affected by the shutdown. Official Notices to Airmen (NOTAMs) have been issued

internationally, advising the world aviation community that Bali is of-limits for landing and takeoffs during proscribed period. And, while there are no flights operating to or from Bali during the 24-hour period, a skeleton staff covering all aspects of normal operations will be on

Woman, dead six months in front of TV
The corpse of a 66-year-old German woman who died more than six months ago was found in her apartment, in front of a television set that was still on. The woman, in the town of Oberursel near Frankfurt, died of natural causes in a nightgown while watching TV. There was a program guide from September nearby, reports suggested,
describing the body as "partially mummified". Police said residents in the 30-apartment block had noticed an unpleasant smell in the staircase but no one had informed the authorities. The landlord opened the apartment after noticing that her mailbox was jammed with uncollected letters.



Kuta Weekly

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Kuta Weekly
Karangasem Offers East Bali Alternative Location for New Bali Airport
Berita Bali reports that the regency of Karangasem is preparing a 860-hectare site for Bali's new North Bali Airport. This step is being undertaken in anticipation of continuing problems being encountered by the provincial government of Bali in selecting a site for a second international airport in Bali. The site preparation plan was revealed by the Regent of Karangasem, Wayan Geredeg at a m e e t i n g i n h i s o ff i c e w i t h infrastructure expert AA Putu Ngurah Wirawan on Saturday, March 22, 2014. Said Geredeg: "As a leader, in principle, I support plans to accelerate the building of a new airport in Buleleng. But if this goes on for years and is not resolved, then let's look for another

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from the aspects of zoning and technical suitability," he added. The Karangasem Regent said that all the landowners in the proposed 860-hectare site have signed agreements not to sell their lands. "When land sales take place, the plots will be sold to a Regencyowned Company (BUMD) and then blocked to prevent any manipulations," said Geredeg. Geredeg said a project such as the new Bali airport can fail if the land ownership is not clear. Land speculators will take advantage of such situations, managing to seize land before the government can take action. Closing his comments, Geredeg said: "Let's all sit. www.balidiscovery.com

G'day again folks and welcome to the latest and greatest on the streets of downtown Kuta. I see everyone made it through the day of silence unscathed, which ended up being April Fool's day, so you can just imagine what fun we had with that until lunchtime. There was one rumour of a certain executive that tried in earnest to wake the boss a little early as he believed he had been beckoned for an important meeting. Luckily for the trickster team the boss didn't answer his phone and the aliasj@kutaweekly.com day went on without an explosion. Nyepi was a great day and a first for me, as I checked into a package deal at a little hotel in Poppies one called the Kuta Town houses. You couldn't wish for more food, colder beer or better company to spend the day of silence with. At one point during the evening we got invited to head up to the new roof top venue that the powers that be have developed, to take a look around and see to what extent the blackness stretched on the evening and all I can say is, it's amazing. To witness the usually flat chat centre of Kuta transformed into a completely silent, almost completely blackened town is nothing short of incredible. The task alone is not far off almost impossible, and again the Balinese get it done with almost military precision. I think a few places around the world should look at adopting something similar to offer the ozone layer a small chance. Anyways I hope you all enjoyed your Nyepi and we can all look forward to it again next year. Happy New Year to all our Balinese friends. Moving along, yet touching on my earlier mention of the new roof top venue, that the powers that be have developed at the Kuta Town Houses and all I can say is nothing short of WOW. They have made available to all and sundry, a world class venue that can comfortably handle more than 250 people. Now that's a big wedding, conference, or one hell of a great way to enjoy a few sundowners with friends on a lazy afternoon. They have called the place Weddings, Party's, Anything, so as to not let anyone think they are missing out or couldn't usethe venue for whatever they see fit. You can check out the advert on page 12 and 13 of this edition and we trust that should anyone need a venue or even know someone that needs a venue for whatever reason, they check it out. I have enjoyed a couple of party's there now and believe there are already several weddings planned to be held there in the near future and in saying that, think there will be many many more things happening there soon. I tilt my hat to the team for getting ideas from scrap bits of paper to a fully functioning, world class thing. Ok moving along, and on a final note, as I could crap on for hours this week with so many great things happening on the island at the moment, it might be time to say a big hello to Chunky Chunks Portuguese Restaurant on Benesari. These guys have decided to come on board and sponsor the new Kuta Weekly Surf Tide Chart Page. They have a great little restaurant going on down there and specialize in seriously good food. For those of you that don't know what Portuguese food is, think of Peri Peri chicken and you'd be heading in the right direction. Mr Capo is originally from Australia and is running the place at the highest level possible. I suggest anyone who knows and appreciates a good feed will get down there and check it out. Thanks again to Mr Capo for the support and we look forward to working with you for many years to come. You can check out the new Tide Chart Surf Chart on page 35. Thanks again for working with us to sponsor the Surf Chart Page. Ok punters that's about my lot for the week so I will let you all go about your business as you will and trust that you all try your best to remember, That which shines is not always gold. Enjoy Your Week, ALIASJ……………

Clearance to Land

alternative. We are ready to help facilitate this. Geredeg said that his office is preparing an 860-hectare site comprised of lands owned by local residents in an area between Buleleng and West Tianyar in the region of Kubu. "Earlier we offered an area (for the airport) in the region of Nusa. That was too close to Mount Agung. But the (new) location is far from Mount Agung. Now we are looking at the site

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Kuta Weekly
The Laguna, A Luxury Collection Resort & Spa Bali Hosts Starwood Careers Day 2014
A Starwood Careers Day was held at The Laguna, a Luxury Collection Resort & Spa, Nusa Dua, Bali on March 21, 2014 attracting 300 potential candidates seeking a rewarding hospitality career. The Bali event was presided over by Helmut Pluecker, managing director of The St. Regis Bali Resort & The Laguna, a Luxury Collection Resort & Spa, Nusa Dua, Bali together with hotel and general managers of Starwood Hotels & Resorts across Bali. Starwood Careers Day 2014 was intended to encompass Starwood's talent strategy that seeks to build meaningful long-term careers for those who join the organization. The event consolidates the strengths of Starwood's nine hotel brands and offers potential career seekers the

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nearly half of all Starwood associates worldwide. Seen in the picture on Balidiscovery.com are from left to right: Dario Orsini, general manager of Sheraton Kuta Resort; Bipan Kapur, managing director The Westin Resort Nusa Dua; Sven Fitjer, hotel manager of The Laguna Resort & Spa Bali; Lucia Liu, hotel manager of The St. Regis Bali Resort; Craig Seaward, general manager of W Retreat & Spa Bali; Gregory Gubiani, general manager of Le Meridien Jimbaran Bali and Helmut Pluecker managing director of The St. Regis Bali Resort & The Laguna Resort & Spa Bali. t o g e t h e r. We a r e n o t demanding that the new airport be built in Karangasem. But if this (the new airport) goes on for years and remains unresolved, we are ready to offer a site. Let's think about the greater good here; the interests of the people of Bali.” www.balidiscovery.com

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opportunity to explore a career with Starwood. Starwood Careers is part of the corporation's shared goal to fill over 25,000 global positions at all levels and functions by the end of 2014. Starwood's Asia Pacific division currently operates over 260 hotels, with an additional 200 hotels in the pipeline. Recently, the company announced it is on track to open over 30 hotels in the region in 2014 – an average of one hotel every 12 days. As the fastest growing division of the company, Starwood Asia Pacific employs over 73,000 employees,

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Kuta Weekly

3 Apr - 9 Apr 2014 (382)

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Kuta Weekly

3 Apr - 9 Apr 2014 (382)

News Corner

Glow in the dark set to light up the future
and tarmac with permeable surfaces, and Glow in the dark trees and buildings will be increasing tree cover. commonplace in the "green" cities of the To meet the increasing demand for food, vertical future, a report has predicted. Spray-on light absorbing dust could give anything and everything a phosphorescent shine at night. Surrounding foliage could be made to glow by splicing bioluminescent genes into the trunks and branches, say boffins. It is speculated that by doing so the overall carbon footprint w o u l d b e diminished by making street lighting less necessary. The bright v i s i o n o f environmentally friendly cities was unveiled by Arup, the engineering and d e s i g n consultancy behind London's Garden Bridge project. It looked at w a y s o f protecting urban areas and improving the lives of their residents in a world transformed by global warming and growing city populations. The report highlights natural solutions such as preventing flooding by replacing hard concrete "urban farms" are also forecast with crops being grown in and on city buildings. Parks could also contribute to food supplies by providing places where people can forage for fruits, edible greenery and even insects. Tom Armour, landscape architecture group leader at Arup, said: "By 2050, it is predicted that the human population will have reached nine billion with 75% of people living in cities. "Adaptations to existing city spaces, enabled by rapid technological innovation, will serve as major catalysts in the shift toward i n c r e a s i n g s u s t a i n a b i l i t y, resilience and adaptability in dense u r b a n environments." Increasing the number of green spaces in cities was expected to increase life expectancy by up to five years by encouraging people to take more exercise. Absence from work through sickness was also likely to be reduced. Research had shown that people who work in buildings overlooking parkland took almost a quarter less time off than those with no green views. Pro-Teq, a UK company based in Virginia Water, Surrey, already produces a product called Starpath that can be sprayed on any solid surface to make it glow in the dark. The coating contains particles that harvest the sun's rays during the day and emit a soft blue light at night. "Starpath has the potential to reduce the need for complex lighting installations in parks and alleyways while allowing for the introduction of lighting and the safety and security that brings," said the Arup report. "Another benefit is that since it's non-reflective and relatively low intensity, it doesn't add to light pollution." A public footpath constructed with Starpath is currently being tested in Christ's Pieces park in Cambridge, UK.



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for his reforms of the court system, but critics say he needs to do more to combat perceptions of corruption, make the legal system more accessible to those who are less well-off, and tackle the backlog of cases. Many suspects have to wait for years in p o l i c e custody for their cases to be heard. Many Kenyans also complain of having to bribe court officials to r e l e a s e documents that are otherwise declared "lost". Mutunga last year chaired the Supreme Court panel that upheld Uhuru Kenyatta's victory in the presidential election, dismissing a petition by his rival RailaOdinga.

Kuta Weekly

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Before court ask the witch doctor
A frustrated chief justice told Kenyans that even witchdoctors could help them resolve their disputes without taking each other to the overburdene d courts.
W i l l y Mutunga, a re sp e cte d l a w y e r, w a s appointed in 2011 to reform a judiciary widely seen as in the pay of the political elite and to cut red tape, at a time when many Kenyans h a d l o s t confidence in the courts. Opening a new court building in Kiambucounty near Nairobi, Mutunga said he was concerned that the growing demand for court services was adding to a backlog of thousands of lawsuits. He said people should stop saying "I'll see you in court", and entering a long and costly process, when they could first seek help from churches, mosques, elders or neighbours. "Even in Kutui, where I come from, I have told people they can go to the witchdoctors to solve issues," he said, to

laughter from people at the ceremony. The remarks prompted a flurry of bemused or irritated messages to television stations and tweets and, even if meant light-heartedly, are likely to raise eyebrows in a largely conservative and religious nation. Mutunga has won praise



Kuta Weekly

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Kuta Weekly

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Kuta Weekly
A woman abandoned as a newborn 27 years ago in an Allentown, Pennsylvania, fast-food restaurant bathroom has been reunited with her birth mother after a social media blitz.
Katheryn Deprill, left in the Burger King bathroom only hours after she was born, met her birth mother last week in a lawyer's office. Deprill said her birth mother, who she did not identify, recounted getting pregnant after being raped while on a trip abroad and giving birth in her childhood bedroom at the age of 17. Her parents did not know she was pregnant and she was afraid to tell them, she said. "She left me somewhere she knew I'd be found. She did not want to throw me away," . Deprill took the baby to the Burger King because it was crowded, and she knew the

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sign describing the circumstances of her birth, has been shared more than 32,000 times on the social media site. "Looking for my birth mother," the sign read. "Please help me find her by sharing this post. Maybe she will see this." Deprill was adopted by Brenda and Carl Hollis, and remained in the Allentown area. John Waldron, an attorney who facilitated the meeting said that the birth mother had also stayed in the area, and saw the campaign within a few days of its launch. "It's a starting point for them because now they've started a relationship, and they're going to stay in contact," Waldron said. He did not respond to requests for comment.

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'Burger King Baby' finds mother

newborn would be found quickly. Deprill, a mother of three who works as an emergency medical technician, launched a Facebook campaign on March 2 in an effort to find her mother. A photo

Cool weather mars butt bid
A world record skinny-dipping attempt bottomed o u t a t Swanbourne beach, with the bid falling 73 people short of the Guinness Book of World Records mark of 744.
Cracks started to appear in The Naked Fig's SkinnyDip record hopes when the beachgoers were confronted by cool weather. But a late, rear-guard action gathered momentum for the group, only for them to fall just behind the target. The bid raised thousands of dollars for the Butterfly Foundation, which fights eating disorders and negative body image. "Everyone was in great spirits," Fig Group co-owner Greer Marns said. "The main purpose of the event was to promote positive body image and celebrate our health, wellbeing and diversity, so I think we certainly achieved that," she said. "Over the last few weeks we have heard so many personal stories of locals being affected by negative body image. Many of those people took part today and embraced this event as an opportunity to confront their personal issues." Paralympic swimmer Jessica Smith was the official ambassador and was thrilled that hundreds of people of all shapes and sizes took the opportunity to accept and embrace their bodies. "There certainly was a lot of laughter, with participants feeling quite liberated," Ms Smith said. The group vowed to be back next year.



Kuta Weekly

3 Apr - 9 Apr 2014 (382)

Sports Corner

Kuta Weekly

3 Apr - 9 Apr 2014 (382)

News Corner

England's loss to Netherlands and other World T20 facts that seem like April Fools' jokes
YES, it's April Fools' Day. No, England losing to Netherlands is not an April Fools' joke. As much as Stuart Broad and co. would have hoped they were part of some elaborate and cunningly executed prank, the sad fact for them is they were not just beaten but positively smashed by a Dutch side full of semi-pros, journeymen and Aussies. While that result was certainly the most stunning of the tournament, the ICC World T20 has provided plenty of facts that quite simply sound like April Fools' gags. Worryingly for Australia, there's still time for one more prank to be pulled with the Aussies taking on hosts Bangladesh in a dangerously dead rubber on Tuesday night. But for now, here are some of the April Fools'-esque stats from the World T20 that have to be seen to be believed. An Australian is the top runscorer in the tournament How is an Aussie the top runscorer when Australia has done so poorly at the tournament? Easy — he's playing for the Netherlands. South Australia's Tom Cooper sits atop the charts after belting 231 runs at an average of 57.75 for the tournament. Admittedly he has the advantage of having played in the qualifying matches as well, but it's still an impressive feat. Glenn Maxwell has been Australia's best player That's the same Glenn Maxwell who has been a source of ridicule for some Aussie fans for failing to deliver when it really counted. 'The Big Show' lived up to his nickname in Bangladesh, belting 142 runs — including 12 sixes — to easily top the Aussie run-scoring charts. His 74 against Pakistan should have setup victory but he was let down by his teammates. Bangladesh beaten by Hong Kong
If Australia loses to Bangladesh, then warped logic would dictate that the Aussies are worse than Hong Kong. After all, in Hong Kong's last match it achieved a famous victory over Bangladesh. There's a strong Aussie connection in the Honkers side, as head coach Charlie Burke is from Perth and the batting coach is former WA wicketkeeper Ryan Campbell. Brad Hodge has been Australia's best bowler OK so he hasn't really been our best, but Hodge does have the best bowling average and strike rate of everyone that has sent down a ball for Australia at the tournament. He opened the bowling against India and don't be surprised if he's asked to do the same against Bangladesh. A team was bowled out for 39 The Dutch are lucky they pulled off the stunning win against England, otherwise their tournament would be remembered for the woeful effort against Sri Lanka in which they were bowled out for just 39 — the worst score in T20 international history. Someone bowled two overs and didn't concede a run That same match featured a unique feat by Sri Lankan bowler Nuwan Kulasekara, as he became the first bowler in T20 internationals to bowl two overs without conceding a run. He also picked up a wicket for good measure. Someone has taken wickets at an average of 0.60 That's not a typo — Rangana Herath is sitting pretty on top bowling averages table with an average of 0.60. The Sri Lankan spinner finished with remarkable figures of 5-3 after destroying New Zealand in his only match of the tournament so far. David Warner has only hit one six It's commonplace for Warner to hit more than one six in a Test match these days but despite getting three bites at the cherry, the dynamic opener has only cleared the rope once in Bangladesh so far. Shane Watson has scored a total of seven runs from three matches Three innings, seven runs, average of 2.33. Those are Shane Watson's batting stats for the tournament so far. He needs just 242 more runs to equal his efforts from the last World T20 two years ago. Aussies insist they're getting better at playing spin Speaking of Watson, he struck a defiant note when asked if Australia has a weakness against spin, saying the batsmen have improved significantly since they were torn apart by India's spinners in the disastrous 4-0 Test series loss last February. But watching the Aussies get destroyed by Ravi Ashwin on Sunday, we found that hard to believe. Ball has dominated bat overall It's certainly not the scenario that many predicted when T20's tentacles first starting reaching around cricket, but this tournament has proved the shortest form of the game rewards good bowling. 150 is seen as a par score in T20 these days but the majority of matches in Bangladesh have seen less than 300 runs scored in total. Gangnam style is still popular somewhere Wasn't this song meant to disappear and never resurface again? Apparently Chris Gayle and the Dhaka DJ at Australia's match against West Indies didn't get the memo.

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Kuta Weekly

3 Apr - 9 Apr 2014 (382)

Sports Corner

Kuta Weekly

3 Apr - 9 Apr 2014 (382)

Sports Corner
Wales of the chance to regain possession for one late shot at a miracle. 6. RUGBY PARK, 1981 The Springboks were preparing to play Waikato, a Kiwi provincial team, in Hamilton when about 350 anti-apartheid protesters ripped down the stadium's fence and invaded the field. The protesters linked arms and formed a block in the middle of the pitch. Police surrounded them, and violence eventually broke out. B o y, i t w a s s o m e statement though. 7. THE GABBA, 1983 Ian Botham lofted a drive to deep cover against the Aussies, where he was caught by David Hookes. At that point, a piglet was released onto the field. Not just any piglet, mind you. The names “Botham” and “Hemmings” were scrawled on either side of the creature's body, referring to a couple of England's more portly players. Needless to say, the crowd was quite amused. 8 . T H I S G U Y, EVERYWHERE, ALL THE TIME If there were a world championship of streaking, Mark Roberts here would win it easily. The man has been at it for more than 20 years, and for many of those he was actually sponsored by an online casino. “It's addictive, making people laugh and seeing them on their feet, cheering,” he once told The Independent. We don't doubt that he's made people laugh.

We analyse where Australia went wrong during failed World T20 campaign in Bangladesh
Pakistan off the back of Bailey said of the fielding after IT'S hard to know where to Maxwell's brilliant innings, we only that match. start analysing how it all went needed basically a run a ball off the “It was something that we wrong for Australia at the ICC last 10 overs. spoke about that we thought in this World T20. “Maybe the moments got to us tournament could be a point of a little bit — it's a big tournament and you don't get many chances to win World Cups, so I think under pressure we've just been a little bit nervous and haven't backed ourselves at certain stages.” SPIN While the Australians have difference. It's something that we've done very well in our last few games, and it wasn't to the standard that we've set ourselves tonight.” SCHEDULING Heavy workload is no excuse in modern cricket, and Shane Watson said as much ahead of the clash with Bangladesh, but there's no doubting some of the Aussie stars have looked burned out during this tournament. Watson, Warner and Brad Haddin have essentially been playing non-stop since O c t o b e r a n d i t ' s understandable that their levels of both energy and desire aren't at maximum levels. But former Australia captain Allan Border thought the success they've had over the past few months would have the reverse effect. “A few of the boys have played a lot of cricket over the last 12 to 18 months and might be a little jaded, but I would have thought they'd be on a bit of a high having won the Ashes so convincingly,” Border said. “Then to go to South Africa and play so well, and finish off with a couple of good Twenty20 wins, they should have been on a real high going into this tournament.” TEAM SELECTION There weren't too many complaints with the squad Australia chose for the tournament, but in hindsight it appears the choice to go with a squad chock-full of ageing veterans backfired. The golden oldie brigade of Hodge, Hogg and Haddin has failed to fire, while some have also questioned the decision not to play Hogg and James Muirhead as a spin duo in any of the Aussie matches.

Eight of sport's greatest pitch invasions
THE biggest highlight from last night's NRL game b e t w e e n N o r t h Queensland and the Gold Coast was a metre-long venomous snake, which spent 20 minutes slithering along the sideline.
The slippery creature's cameo got us thinking about some of sport's other great pitch invaders from previous years. 1. SUNCORP STADIUM, 2003 South African rugby player Louis Koen was lining up a kick at goal during the pool stage of the 2003 Rugby World Cup in Brisbane when a 29-yearo l d m a n , Ta p u m a n a i a Lautasi, tried to tackle him. Koen nailed the goal, but knocked the invader unconscious by accidentally kicking him in the head. Lautasi was later fined $1,200. 2. ANFIELD, 2012 A rogue cat strolled on to the hallowed turf of Liverpool's home stadium in the middle of a scoreless draw with Tottenham, forcing the referee to halt the game. E v e n t u a l l y, t h e stubborn thing was shepherded towards the sideline, where security guards retrieved it. Apparently the players didn't want to get fur on their hands. 3. THE GABBA, 2008 A naked man ran on to the field during Australia's One Day International match against India in Brisbane. The bloke managed to evade security and reach the pitch, where he encountered a rather burly batsman called Andrew Symonds. Symmo unleashed a monstrous shoulder charge, knocking the streaker to the ground. 4. WIMBLEDON, 1996 Melissa Johnson interrupted the men's final at Wimbledon, drawing amused stares from players Richard Krajicek and MaliVai Washington.

The Aussies have underperformed in just about all facets of the game, falling short of the high standards they set themselves across all three formats over the course of a golden summer. There have been precious few bright moments in Australia's campaign, most of which came from Glenn Maxwell, and there will be quite a few players competing for a long-term place in the side when Darren Lehmann's men wrap up their tournament in a dead rubber against Bangladesh on Tuesday night. For now, we look back at where Australia lost its way. SHOT SELECTION It's not through a lack of intent that the Aussies have fallen short in both run-chases they were involved in — it's more that their intent was often misguided. The signs weren't great during the first match against Pakistan, where several of the Australian batsmen continued trying the same shot — a slog over mid-wicket — despite it being the downfall of their predecessors. There are two shots in particular that stand out though — attempted reverse sweeps by Maxwell and veteran Brad Hodge that went horribly wrong, summing up Australia's batting woes in Bangladesh. LOSING THE KEY MOMENTS Heading into the last five overs of the clashes against Pakistan and West Indies, the Aussies would have been very confident of claiming victory. But when it came to the crunch, they were found wanting. “Against West Indies, under pressure the bowling was not good enough,” former Australia batsman Mark Waugh said on Fox Sports. “The first game against

made tremendous gains over the last 12 months, their playing of spin remains a glaring weakness. Australia was brought undone by Pakistan's Saeed Ajmal, struggled against Sunil Narine's wizardry when playing the West Indies, and were humiliated by India's Ravi Ashwin. By contrast, Australia's spin attack of James Muirhead and Brad Hogg, who didn't get the chance to play together, was serviceable without ever threatening to turn a game on its head, picking up one wicket in each match. FIELDING Australia took its fielding to new levels over the past summer, barely dropping a catch and saving countless runs through sheer desperation and enthusiasm in the field. But those standards went missing in Bangladesh, particularly in the opening loss to Pakistan where Australia dropped three fairly regulation catches that contributed significantly to its loss. “It was shoddy for the standard that we set ourselves,”

The 23-year-old student was escorted off centre court by police, but she did win a few, erm, admirers in the process. 5. STATE OF ORIGIN, 2013 Wati Holmwood dashed onto the field wearing nothing but sneakers during the State of Origin decider last year. He disrupted play in the final minutes, stopping Queensland from scoring the game's decisive try, but also robbing New South



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Justin Hodges set to return for Broncos after eight months on the sidelines
J U S T I N Hodges will play for the Brisbane Broncos this week after e i g h t frustrating months on the sidelines.
The Maroons veteran will line up at right centre for the high-flying Broncos when they play the Parramatta Eels on Friday. The Suncorp Stadium game will be Hodges' first game since he tore his Achilles tendon against St George last August. Hodges is returning four “I think it is (earlier than expected). It is going well. I have worked hard and this time it has healed a lot quicker,” Hodges said. “There is still a little bit of soreness there but that comes with injury. “It is a matter of getting out there and playing now and getting confidence in

weeks earlier than initially expected, with the injury typically my head. “This time around it requiring a nine-month recovery. His inclusion is a major (Achilles) is four times stronger. “Hopefully I can help the boost for a Broncos team performing beyond expectations boys out.” this year, with just one loss in their four games.

Showdown loss fails to dampen Adelaide Crows fans' spirits with Sydney clash a sellout
ADELAIDE's slow start to the season a ppe a r s t o be having little impact off-field — Saturday's home o p e n e r a t Adelaide Oval against Sydney is officially a sellout.
The Crows were forced to wait their turn after Port Adelaide was handed hosting rights to last week's Showdown, which the Power won by 55 points. But ticket sales since the defeat have been strong and Crows chief executive Steven Trigg said there was a genuine sense of excitement about this weekend. “It was like moving into a ring looking for tickets and I couldn't help them — that's genuine, we just don't have them,” Trigg said. “ T h e demand over the past couple of days — d e s p i t e Saturday's loss — was fantastic.” With good weather conditions forecast for the weekend, Trigg said challenging the 50,397 attendance from last week's Showdown was “perfectly feasible”. “In one sense the first game is always the first game ... but when you've sold all 53,000 tickets you're going to give 50,000 a shake,” he said.

new house last week and somebody else was there,” Trigg said. “It feels like it's a long time coming and I'm sure it does for our members as well.” The only way to secure a seat at the game now is to purchase an 11-game Crows membership. “I had a couple of my mates



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Geelong will name Corey Enright as veteran defender battles to overcome ankle sprain
Cats coach Chris Scott reported the triple premiership player was “a little bit sore” and but scans cleared him of serious damage and Enright would be given right up until naming a final team to prove his fitness. “It did look quite serious, it almost looked like that sort of incident had the potential to break his leg, but there's nothing serious like that — thank God,” he said. “Given he couldn't come back on the field there's obviously some doubt there ... if he's close, we have an obligation to name him. “We can't be making a decision on Thursday morning.” There is better news regarding the Cats' big-man stocks. The club faced a crisis of talls prior to the season when Nathan Vardy went down with a year-ending knee injury. Enright was taken out of the B u t t h e game after twisting his ankle emergence of in a tackle with Jordan Lisle. Hamish McIntosh — without a senior game in almost two years — and Dawson Simpson has Scott purring. “After two rounds playing together, it looks like an option that can work for us longer term,” he said. “It allows us to have options in our game style which we didn't really have last year.” McIntosh and Simpson outrucked Matthew Leuenbrger and former Cat Trent West in their round two win at the Gabba, winning the hitouts 55-38. Scott said the pair wouldn't be c e r t a i n starters in every game but it looks certain he will name them both against the Magpies, who have young ruckman Brodie Grundy in ruck, with support from Jesse White. “ To g e t something, we've got to give something. We have felt on balance we've got more from the two of them than what we've had to give,” he said. “It's a nice problem to have.” Geelong could also name young midfielder George Burbury, who broke his jaw in the pre-season but has completed a rapid recovery and played in the VFL last weekend.

Water buffaloes escape Sydney film set, race down busy street
Tw o w a t e r b u f f a l o e s startled residents of an inner-Sydney suburb, as they pelted 2 km (1.2 miles) down a city street past disbelieving pedestrians, while car drivers scurried to get out of the way.
Eyewitnesses told local media the buffaloes looked agitated, having escaped from a city park where an advertisement was being filmed. "I was just waiting for the bus and instead of a bus, two random ladders and firefighting gear to corral the animals into a makeshift pen, until handlers from the film set took them away. "We were all standing back, we were all going 'That's really random'," Felman said. "It's a very diverse community that lives there," she buffalo ran past," Abril added. "It's not strange to see Felman, a student at the University people dressed up in costumes of Sydney campus nearby told running around at night. It's a bit of reporters. a free-spirited bohemian culture." Firefighters rounded up the animals and live-tweeted the



Kuta Weekly

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Will Red Bull pull plug on Daniel Ricciardo's Australian GP appeal due to Sebastian Vettel's foul mouth?


RED Bull could drop their appeal against Daniel Ricciardo's Australian GP disqualification due to Sebastian Vettel's sweary outburst against the new sound of F1, according to reports.
Ricciardo's exclusion after finishing second in Melbourne and the quieter sound of the reduced V6 engines have so far proved to be the dominant talking points of the year. Previously mutually exclusive, the two controversies could now be set to collide. Writing in The Sunday Times, Sky Sports F1 commentator Mark Hughes writes: 'Threatening to punish Vettel for his negative comments could conceivably be used as leverage by the FIA to convince his team to withdraw their appeal.' While Vettel has an influential ally in the form of Bernie Ecclestone, with the F1 ringmaster a longstanding critic of the sport's 'rules reset', FIA president Jean Todt is said to be 'furious' with the world champion after he disparaged F1's new soundtrack as “s***”. 'Todt was dismayed that the world champion should be so publicly critical,' said Hughes. 'During the era of Todt's predecessor, Max Mosley, occasional use was made of article 151c of the regulations — bringing the sport into disrepute — to quell dissent. This is not Todt's style, though the regulation provides an underlying threat to Vettel and Red Bull.' The prospect of Red Bull dropping their appeal is remote, however, with the world champions adamant that they did not commit any wrongdoing and there is more at stake than just reclaiming second place for Ricciardo. “We are bound by the Technical and Sporting

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An 8-year-old South Carolina girl's dream of having the woolly mammoth become the official state fossil has been put on hold while lawmakers debate an amendment that gives God credit for creation of the prehistoric animal.
A bill that recently passed the state House to designate the Columbian Mammoth as the state fossil stalled in the Senate after Republican Senator Kevin Bryant added two verses from the book of Genesis. That amendment was ruled out of order but senators this week will debate a new amendment that says the mammoth was "created on the sixth day along with the beasts of the field," Bryant said on Monday. "I just had a notion that we ought to consider acknowledging the creator as we acknowledge one of his creations," Bryant said. The original measure followed a letter to elected officials by Olivia McConnell, an-8-yearold from New Zion, South Carolina. In it, she pointed out that there is no state fossil, said Democratic Representative Robert Ridgeway, who received

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Cervantes said that he was one of the three men conducting the baptism when big waves began to roll in and pulled his cousin out to sea. "I tried to take him ... but he was heavy and then another big wave come and took him," Cervantes said. Search helicopters and boats joined in the rescue effort for the missing man, Santa Barbara Fire Department Captain David Sadecki said. By late the next afternoon, the Coast Guard had called off its air search without finding the man. Local officials with rescue watercraft remained in the area, Sadecki said.

Legislator seeks to give credit for fossil

Lost at sea while performing baptism
A man swept out to sea by sevenfoot waves d u r i n g a n oceanside b a p t i s m a l ceremony in California r e m a i n e d missing a day later as hopes faded he would be found alive, officials said.

the letter and sponsored the measure. McConnell suggested the elephant-like mammoth because an early find of its remains took place in 1725 on a South Carolina plantation where slaves dug up a tooth, Ridgeway said. The woolly mammoth was a huge, shaggy, tusked mammal that roamed northern Europe, Siberia and North American tens of thousands of years ago and became extinct about 4,000 years ago. Bryant said he does not intend to hold up the mammoth's official designation but would like a vote on his amendment and sees no legal problems with it.

Reaction from some South Carolina residents has been "nasty," he said. "Please stop making our state look like backwards hillbillies who believe in fairy tales," Alex Davis commented on Bryant's website. "Keep your religious views out of the government." Ridgeway said he was surprised at the controversy. "I was just trying to support a young child who is interested in science," he said. "We should support children in any endeavor that they seem interested in. That's one thing the state should be behind."

U.S. Coast Guard spokesman Adam Stanton said three men were initially washed away by the surf while performing the religious ceremony, held on the shore of the Rancho Guadalupe Dunes Preserve in the small Santa Barbara County city of Guadalupe. Two of the men were able swim back to shore without injuries, but the third man, whom authorities have not named, was still lost according to a statement

by the Santa Barbara Fire Department. The missing man had been helping to perform a baptism in association with the Jesus Christ Light of the Sky church, which holds similar events two or three times a year. Some 25 people, mostly Spanish-speaking, attended the event. Pastor Maurigro


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Donald Schultz, the former host of a popular Animal Planet TV show featuring some of the world's most deadly creatures, was sentenced in a California federal court to community service and $9,000 in fines for s e l l i n g t w o endangered lizards online.
Schultz had pleaded guilty last year to trying to sell the desert monitor lizards to an undercover federal agent who answered a 2010 online ad seeking about $3,000 for the reptiles, according to officials at U.S. Attorney's Office for the Central District of California. The former host of Animal Planet's "Wild Recon" was

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The desert monitors, a species of monitor lizard found in North Africa and South Asia, were recovered by a federal agent in New York. Under a plea deal, Schultz agreed to pay a $6,000 fine, $3,000 in restitution and 200 hours of community service, prosecutors said. Schultz, who hails from South Africa, has made his living in handling and researching the world's most dangerous animals, insects and reptiles. Three years ago, he spent 10 days in a glass box in Las Vegas with 100 venomous snakes to "test the limits of human/serpentine cohabitation," according to a statement from Animal Planet.

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charged with one count of violating the Endangered Species Act, a federal law that protects and recovers imperiled species and ecosystems. According to federal prosecutors, Schultz met with an undercover agent posing as a prospective buyer at his home in Los Angeles where he agreed to ship the reptiles to another buyer in Buffalo, New York.




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A US woman is set to be executed this week for a murder her son confessed to.
Mississippi's attorney general has asked that Michelle Byrom, 57, be put to death by lethal injection tomorrow for hiring her son's friend to kill her abusive husband. If the order is approved, Ms Byrom will be the first woman executed in Mississippi in more than 70 years. Prosecutors say Ms Byrom plotted the murder of her husband to collect his $160,000 in life insurance. Edward Byrom (Senior) was fatally shot in his home in Iuka, Mississippi, while Ms Byrom was in the hospital receiving treatment for double pneumonia. But Ms Byrom's lawyers

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In one letter to his mother, Edward Junior wrote how he killed his father in a rage after his father called him a "bastard, no good, mistake, and telling me I'm inconsiderate and just care about myself". He said that after his father hit him he got a 9mm handgun, entered his father's bedroom, shot him and fled. F o r m e r Mississippi Supreme Court Justice Oliver Diaz Jr said that Ms Byrom should get a new trial. "The majority of Mississippians support the death penalty because they think that people get fair trials and they think that they have competent attorneys representing them, in this case, she didn't have either one," he said.

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Son confesses but mum still to be executed

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argue that she deserves a stay of execution because her son Edward confessed to the 1999 killing in three letters smuggled to his mother in prison. They say he also confessed in another statement to a court-appointed psychologist, according to reports. The defence team, who were trying their first capital murder case, never entered the confessions into evidence.

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Music page

The following is a myth busting info page covering different songs or bands each week chosen by one of our many loyal readers, Please Enjoy…Body Count (Album)

Body Count (album)
Body Count is the eponymous debut album of
American heavy metal band Body Count. Released in 1992, the album material focuses on various social and political issues ranging from police brutality to drug abuse. The album presents a turning point in the career of Ice-T, who co-wrote the album's songs with lead guitarist Ernie C and performed as the band's lead singer. Previously known only as a rapper, Ice-T's work with the band helped establish a crossover audience with rock music fans. The album produced one single, "There Goes the Neighborhood". Body Count is well known for the inclusion of the controversial song "Cop Killer", which was the subject of much criticism from various political figures, although many defended the song on the basis of the group's right to freedom of speech. Ice-T eventually chose to remove the song from the album, although it continues to be performed live. While the album received mixed reviews, it was ranked among the Village Voice's list of the 40 Best Albums of 1992, and is believed to have helped pave the way for the mainstream success of the rapcore genre, although the album itself does not feature rapping in any of its songs. While Ice-T was primarily known for his work in the hip hop genre, he had long been a fan of various genres of rock music and had sampled songs by Jimi Hendrix, Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin, among other artists. He formed Body Count out of this interest.The band comprised musicians Ice-T had known from Crenshaw High School. Ice-T states that "I knew we didn't want to form an R&B group. Where am I gonna get the rage and the anger to attack something with that? [...] We knew Body Count had to be a rock band. The name alone negates the band from being R&B.” Ice-T co-wrote the band's music and lyrics with lead guitarist Ernie C, and took on the duties of lead vocalist. Ice-T states that "I knew I couldn't sing, but then I thought, 'Who can sing in rock 'n' roll?'" Aside from Ice-T and Ernie C, the original line-up consisted of Mooseman on bass, Beatmaster V on drums and D-Roc on rhythm guitar. According to Ice-T, "We named the group Body Count because every Sunday night in L.A., I'd watch the news, and the newscasters would tally up the youths killed in gang homicides that week and then just segue to sports. 'Is that all I am,' I thought, 'a body count?'” Ice-T introduced the band at Lollapalooza in 1991, devoting half of his set to his hip hop songs, and half to Body Count songs, increasing his appeal with both alternative rock fans and middle-class teenagers. Many considered the Body Count performances to be the highlight of the tour. The group made its first album appearance on Ice-T's 1991 solo album O.G. Original Gangster. The song "Body Count" was preceded by a staged interview in which the performer referred to the group as a "black hardcore band," stating that "as far as I'm concerned, music is music. I don't look at it as rock, R & B, or all that kind of stuff. I just look at it as music. I do what I like and I happen to like rock 'n' roll, and I feel sorry for anybody who only listens to one form of music.” Recording sessions for the group's self-titled debut took place from September to December 1991. The album was released on March 31, 1992, on compact disc, vinyl, and audio cassette. Ice-T states that Body Count was intentionally different from his solo hip hop albums in that "An Ice T album has intelligence, and at times it has ignorance. Sometimes it has anger, sometimes it has questions. But Body Count was intended to reflect straight anger. It was supposed to be the voice of the angry brother, without answers. [...] If you took a kid and you put him in jail with a microphone and asked him how he feels, you'd get Body Count: 'Fuck that. Fuck school. Fuck the police.' You wouldn't get intelligence or compassion. You'd get raw anger." From the album, "There Goes The Neighborhood" was released as a single, while "Body Count's in the House" was featured in the film Universal Soldier.

Makeover Miracles
Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20
People can be a bit quick to invest huge amounts of faith in fate. We hear people say often 'whatever will be, will be' or equivalents. Such attitudes have their benefits. Sometimes, it is helpful if not essential to sit back and see what hand fate chooses to deal us. This, however, is usually only relevant or appropriate when we're confident and honest with ourselves about levels of effort we have made to make something happen. This week, expect to see evidence of how much more control and influence you have over a situation that you believed was uncontrollable.


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Libra Sep 24 - Oct 23 Think, if you will, of excitement and anticipation that exists when house lights dim in a theatre. Those who are sat comfortably become aware of how their proactivity and patience have paid off. Then there are also those who arrive late, frantically try to find their seats and don't enjoy such a carefree, stress-free situation, not as immediately anyway. In your world now, you're experiencing similar scenarios. This week brings a chance to enjoy a process that is unfolding in its own way whilst finally finding some level of comfort where there has been urgency or tension. Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22 What three words do people struggle to say most? There are quite a few of them, such as 'I love you' or 'I don't know'. There are three other words that some people struggle to say and these are 'I need help'. Sometimes, we tend to ask for help only when we believe we truly need it. Other times, we're unaware we actually need help until it becomes crystal clear that we do need it. You're now in a very advantageous position. Help you have long wanted in a certain area is coming. Push aside stubbornness and give it a chance to show you what it can do. Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21 When people speak about how easy it is to do something learned in the past, they refer to it as 'like riding a bicycle'. Whilst it's true we tend not to forget how to operate such a mode of transportation once learned, we do sometimes forget how many times we fell or the combined fear and excitement that accompanied riding without assistance. You're set to experience similar delight with having conquered a fear or something that has stymied you for some time. Don't focus on the difficulties you experienced through doing so. Focus on what can be celebrated. Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20 Capricorns are very interesting people. You knew that already but a few others are about to find out just how interesting you are. In what way are you interesting? The most relevant point has to do with how youthful Capricorns become as they get older. Also, when you're in a certain 'fun zone', few can come close to being as fun and interesting company. This week, a very important process kicks off. Prepare to start feeling so much happier, carefree and full of life. Prepare as well to surprise and attract a few people who have long wanted to see this side of your character. Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19 Even in the fastest, fast food restaurants, we have to allow some time to be given our food after purchasing it. Timescales might be small but they exist nonetheless. So it can be said that, despite being aware that we are in an environment that we're reassured operates swiftly, there is still some waiting involved. What does this have to do with your forecast? You appear to be wanting a certain process to happen in ways you believe suit you as opposed to it. The equivalent of an order is being prepared. Trust that it will be delivered to you soon. Pisces Feb 20 - Mar 20 This week, we enter a month that's as powerful as it is pivotal astrologically. Coming weeks will bring about as much closure as they will new and exciting opportunities. Back to the coming week though, you have decisions to make and choices to consider. Some of these give a strong impression they're inflexible and you have no option other than to concede with someone else's demands or accept certain situations or outcomes are set in stone and non-negotiable. You do have more freedom and influence than you believe currently. Use it carefully and wisely.
Jl. Bene
Poppies 2

Taurus Apr 21 - May 21 'Put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walking 'cross the floor…' So sang Mickey Rooney and Keenan Wynn. Putting one foot in front of the other to get from A to B is easy enough, isn't it? We understand the concept and logic involved. Sometimes though, we look at distance we must cover and convince ourselves that getting there by foot isn't the most practical or effective way of getting to where we want to be. You've recently begun a crucial process. Keep moving steadily and patiently in the direction you have set off toward. It is the right one. Gemini May 22 - Jun 22 Most people dislike distractions. It's common for us to become agitated with a delay that occurs to a carefully created plan or schedule. We consider it unfair or unhelpful when we're forced to alter a plan and expectations. Think though, about how some distractions can actually be pleasant and helpful. Think as well about how relieved we feel when we rejoin a road we need to be on after driving on several roads we didn't expect to have found. This week brings a similar kind of relief. You haven't lost time or momentum where you thought you did. Relax and carry on. Cancer Jun 23 - Jul 23
To make sense of what's happening presently, you're having to delve into an aspect of your past. The act of delving isn't particularly painful, it's probably more confusing and unsettling than anything else but moving forward toward the future is requiring you to address how and why a particular development occurred that is shaping attitudes and opinions today. This week, it's likely to become noticeable how strong an urge is becoming to address an issue you've ignored. Allow yourself to be drawn toward process that intends to provide a long overdue answer.

Leo Jun 24 - Aug 23 An ordinary deck of playing cards can, with practice and skill, become a conduit to impressive magic and illusion in the right hands. Of course, we know magicians have special and modified decks of cards they use but a skilled magician will still be able to transform an ordinary deck into something entertaining and impressive. It's important you look closely at what you have available to transform an area of your world. You are able to make something magical and impressive happen. Trust that you have all you need available to do it and don't need anything else. Virgo Aug 24 - Sep 23 It's not only people who exceed speed limits who are a danger to themselves and others. People who drive significantly more slowly than speed limits can be just as dangerous. What does this tell us? It tells us there are benefits to travelling at a set and safe pace that poses the least amount of risk or danger. Don't concern yourself about whether or not you're moving forward or likely to ever attain something or someone close to your heart. Concern yourself only with continuing to move forward at a sensible pace whilst summoning patience as much as you can.

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Poppies 1


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Jl. Poppies 1 Gg. Sorga. Kuta - Bali. Ph. 0812 3988 9726 (English), 0819 1669 4325 (English/Indonesian)

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Bali Hai Cruises and Hai Tide Beach Resort hosted a large group of Bali travel agents and media to a fun day out on Friday, March 28, 2014 in order to experience "Bali's Best Day Out" and view the many improvement recently introduced at the Hai Tide Beach Resort on Nusa Lembongan. Those privileged to be o n t h e t o u r, s a w t h e extensive renovations completed in 2013 that have transformed both the look and the many services offered on the island beach resort, located just a short distance offshore from Bali's southeastern shoreline. The 17 Bali Hai traditional Lumbung-style huts have been significantly upgraded to now include modern en-suite bathrooms. All feature new furnishings, air conditioning and designer finishes distinguish the loft bedrooms suspended over a private al fresco lounge area located downstairs. New in-room facilities include a day bed in the downstairs lumbung, refrigerators, internal room service telephones, complimentary Wi-Fi, iPod docking stations, and tea and coffee facilities Guests now relax at a new swimming pool adjacent to a lounge area located in the private, landscaped resort gardens. Resort guests continue to have access to Bali Hai Beach Club's facilities next door and Bali Hai Cruises' Pontoon in Lembongan Bay to enjoy a wide selection of watersports activities on offer. Those bringing children to the island resort for the day or a longer stay can avail themselves of the services provided by a specially-trained kid's club staff who are experts in entertaining and supervising children aged four to ten years of age. Upon arrival on the island, Kid's Club staff will meet and greet children for a range of activities that include face painting, drawing cards, pirate dress up and island exploration. The Hai Bar & Grill is a beachfront bar & dining experience on the soft white sands of Mushroom Bay in Nusa Lembongan. Imaginative yet traditional, the open-air design allows for relaxed comfort with the flow of warm tropical breezes and stunning water views over the bay. An innovative yet diverse gourmet menu has been carefully crafted featuring the best of fresh local seafood, a selection of appealing international dishes and delicious wood-fired pizzas. Hai Bar & Grill is open every day from 7:00 am until 10:00 pm. Hai Tide Beach Resort is a PADI 5 star Dive Resort and provides qualified staff to assist guests with a range of optional scuba diving activities. On the verge of the start of its third decade of business, Bali Hai Cruises and it Nusa Lembongan resort continue to guarantee "Bali's Best Day Out" starts when boarding one of their vessels at their Benoa Harbor base.

Consoled (7) 5 Bedtime drink (5) 8 Poised for action (5) 9 Bishop's jurisdiction (7) 10 Toxic element (7) 11 Desiccated (5) 12 Edible shellfish (6) 14 Farm livestock (6) 18 Type of steak (1-4) 20 Confessed (5,2) 22 Dried seedless grape (7) 23 Enclosed kitchen fireplace (5) 24 Sing in Tyrolean fashion (5) 25 Batsmen going in first (7)

1 Mocking irony (7) 2 Untruthful people (5) 3 Pungent red pepper (7) 4 Infer (6) 5 Multitude (5) 6 Pharmacist (7) 7 In front (5) 13 Marred (7) 15 Grand National racecourse (7) 16 Female ruler (7) 17 Mediterranean principality (6) 18 Flavoursome (5) 19 Electronic communication (14) 21 Trip the light fantastic (5)

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Poppies 2
to Poppies 1

Jl. Benesari


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Address: Jl. Benesari - Poppies Lane 2, Kuta - Bali web: www.stakzbarandgrill.com

Jl. Poppies I Agung Putra Apartment 1st floor Kuta-Bali. Ph: (0361) 9032920 Fax : (0361) 270597, E: bali_madedana@yahoo.com, M: +62 81 337 424 888, Fb: Kuta Bali (eat good)


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3 Apr - 9 Apr 2014 (382)

My Favourite Animal
Our teacher asked what my favourite animal was,

A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer. The lawyer said, 'How can I help you?' The farmer replied, 'I want to get one of them dayvorces.' The lawyer said, 'Do you have any grounds?' The farmer replied, 'Yes, I got 40 acres.' The lawyer said, 'No, No, you don't understand. Do you have a suit? The farmer replied, 'Yes, I got a suit. I wears it to church on Sundays.' The lawyer said, 'No, no, I mean, do you have a case?' The farmer replied, 'No, I ain't got a Case, but I got a John Deere. The lawyer said, 'No, I mean, do you have a grudge?' The farmer replied,'Yes, I got a grudge, that's where I parks the John Deere.' The lawyer said, 'Does your wife beat you up or something?' The farmer replied, 'No, we both get up at 4:30.' By now the lawyer is getting frustrated but tries one last question. The lawyer said, 'Is your wife a nagger?' The farmer said, 'No, she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger and that's why I wants a dayvorce.'

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Got A Pen
Guy sitting at the bar having a pint in a run down pub in London when an ugly woman comes up to him and asks if he would like her phone number. He says, "Do you have a pen?" She replies, "I do." He says, "Don't you think you should get back in it before the farmer notices you missing?" I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg." I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice! At least I presume she was poor she only had $1.20 in her purse. My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet. Went for my routine check-up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my backside! Do you think I should change dentists? A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." He says, "What do you expect? You're

in a wheel chair." I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening." The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I have been to St Vinnie's to get all of her clothes back. A mate of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache."

and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favourite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favourite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders."

Jl. Patih Jelantik No.227 Legian - Kuta Phone :+62(0)361 763496 Mobile :+62(0)85857442244 Email : baliharleydoctor@yahoo.com www.balivtwindoctor.com

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Find and circle all of the words that are hidden in the grid. The remaining letters spell a common farm animal.

As a foreigner, there is a number of foreigners to control a freehold title ways that can lead to you owning indirectly or to hold a leasehold title in their own name. your dream property in Bali. The best option for you will depend on RIGHT OF USE (HAK PAKAI)
your personal situation, the type of property, risk factors and the type of investment model. Even though it states in Indonesian law that foreigners are not allowed to hold a 'freehold' land title, there are ways that have been in practice for a number of years that enable
This is the right of use over stateowned (crown land) or property owned by public or private persons/entities for a specific purpose for (generally) a finite period and occasionally for an indefinite period. This land right may not be sold, exchanged or transferred unless explicitly state in an agreement. Hak pakai may be held by and Indonesian individual or entity. Or foreigner permanently domiciled in Indonesia, or a foreign legal entity with a representative office in Indonesia such as foreign Banks, embassies, etc.

0361-857 8880, 082339892012


Jl. Benesari

to Poppies 1


This structure is a regularly practiced procedure in Indonesia, whereby the foreigner nominates and Indonesian representative to acquire the land and to hold the 'freehold' title (Hak Milik) on behalf of the foreigner. Ownership of the land is transferred from the previous owner to the Indonesian nominee. The foreigner and the Indonesian nominee then sign an agreement which recognizes the Indonesian nominee as the legal owner of the property whilst declaring the foreigner as the rightful owner of the property. This agreement denotes that the Indonesian nominee will carry out any directives from the foreigner regarding the land. This agreement must always be concluded in the presence of a public notary.

Poppies 2



3 Apr - 9 Apr 2014 (382)

3 Apr - 9 Apr 2014 (382)

What your dreams really mean
Scientists and psychologists are baffled by a new study which claims the moon can have a profound effect on our dreams. In the week of a full moon, dreams get a lot more bizarre, according to new research by psychologist Richard Wiseman. Popular ones range from being naked, being chased, chilling with celebrities and recurring flying dreams. But however odd they are... do they really mean anything? We explain all below. Dead scared: Being chased is your subconscious flagging up a problem "This is a classic anxiety dream. The thing chasing you represents something in your life you're afraid of," says Ingrid Collins, a consultant psychologist at The London Medical Centre, in Harley Street. "If it's a monster or animal, your worries are getting on top of you. If you're running from someone, then your subconscious is flagging up you've got a problem in a relationship." Bum note: Being naked in public shows you have something to hide "Being naked suggests you have a fear of being exposed or having your intimate secrets revealed," says Ingrid. "Is there something you're trying to hide? "It can also suggest a lack of selfconfidence, or that you want to make a sexual advance to someone you're too shy to approach." Ambitious: Superman dreams mean you're a high-flier "If you're flying with ease it shows your flying high in your waking life and an ambition is within reach," says Ingrid. "But failing to take off suggests you feel tied down and want to escape an unpleasant situation. "If you're flying in the clouds your inner self is crying out for some spirituality." Material Girl: Going shopping with Madonna means you want
excitement apparently "If you find yourself shopping with Madonna your subconscious is saying you have what it takes to be famous. "So if you're striving, for example, to make it on the screen stick with it," says psychic Anne Jirsch, author of Instant Intuition. "If this interpretation doesn't fit your life, then the dream indicates you need to feel more special. Has your partner been neglecting you? "Often it simply means you're looking for more excitement in your life and you're ready to move on socially. This usually happens when you have outgrown your usual crowd." Drowning: Underwater struggles could mean you're having money problems "A very common dream these days and it's symbolic for some people drowning in debt. "If this is the case, then take it as a HEALTH warning that you need to review your finances," says Anne. "If money isn't an issue then look at the areas of your life where you don't feel in control. "Water represents feelings, so if you're struggling your emotions are sending you a cry for help. "The fact that you're coming up to catch your breath is telling you that you're just about managing but it would not take too much for you to go under." Frustrated: Dreaming of sex could mean you're too shy to fulfil your fantasies "Things we suppress in daily life come to the fore in dreams," says Anne. "Perhaps there's part of you that would like to be more sexually adventurous but is too shy to fulfil your fantasies in real life. "Maybe you're fed up with your partner and deep down are looking for fun with someone more attractive? "Perhaps you don't fancy him or her as much as you used to and would like SHOP BUDDY? "Madonna someone new to come along and sweep you off your feet." Stuck in the middle: Being trapped means you want to take control of your life Dream analyst Cassandra Eason, author of The Modern Book Of Dream Interpretation says: "You're life is out of control and you need to find out what's bothering you and take action. "Often dreams have a clue. "For example, if you were trapped in an office then you should look at your work life, or if you're stuck in a nightclub do you crave new social situations?" Great loss: Falling means you're losing something close to you "Again it's a dream indicating that you're out of control but this time it relates to losing something or someone," says Cassandra. "Maybe you're worried about losing your job, boyfriend, home, or you've had a row with a friend. "Whatever it is you need to regain your grip, it's worrying you more than you realise." Not-so-broody: Dreaming of babies is a cry for you to be more spontaneous "Babies symbolize creativity," says Cassandra. "Your subconscious is crying out for this part of your personality to be recognized. "Find a hobby where you can express yourself. "Your local adult education college will have a prospectus if you want to do an evening class. “Babies also signify people's unreasonable demands. Perhaps your parents or a friend depend on you too much?"



3 Apr - 9 Apr 2014 (382)

3 Apr - 9 Apr 2014 (382)

Kuta Town Houses

Stolen Rolex watch and hidden ..in her ??
A Las Vegas dancer has been accused of s t e a l i n g a customer's Rolex watch and hiding it in her vagina.
Christina Lafave, 25, faces up to 20 years in jail if found guilty of stealing the time piece, while performing a massage on 66-year-old Kenneth Herold. Herold had paid the dancer for the private massage in his hotel room. But he called security at 3am and accused Lafave of stealing the watch. She denies the allegation. Herold told the police that while massaging him, Lafave had told him to take off the watch so she could massage his arms. He put it on the ground but said it had gone several minutes later. Police searched the room intrusion.” He said the search of his client was "unreasonable" and that "medical providers have to use equipment to conduct an invasive procedure to remove what police believe is evidence.” He said the encounter between Herold and Lafave was consensual and that he gave her the watch but later he tried to take it back "when he wasn't satisfied with her services." He said the case amounted to Herold taking advantage of a young woman. Lafave faces two felony counts, grand larceny and possession of stolen property. She has been freed on bail and is set to appear before a judge in Las Vegas. (brings a new meaning to a submariner)

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for the watch, before Lafave allegedly admitted where she had hidden it. She was taken to hospital where an X-ray was done. “Prior to medical staff assisting Lafave with the removal of the watch she admitted to them that she had stolen a watch and concealed the item in her vagina,” a police report said. Defense lawyer Chris Rasmussen said he intends "to file a motion to suppress the medical

Lightning hits planet three times
A KLM flight, from Amsterdam to Birmingham, was struck by lightning just prior to landing approach.
"Ladies and gentlemen, you may have noticed we were hit by lightning," the captain announced after landing smoothly and safely at Birmingham Airport. A woman photographing the storm caught a picture of one lightning bolt striking the plane. Tracy Meakin White, who is not a professional photographer, said the snapshot was "just a stroke of luck". " didn't even see the plane at 174 passengers on board, described the experience as incredible. "There was one massive bang. Only moments before, I'd noticed the dark skies and told a passenger sitting next to me that I was surprised there was no thunder and lightning," the 51-yearold businessman said. "After the bang, my initial thought was the engine had blown-up. Surprisingly, it wasn't frightening, it was exciting. " Yo u a r e w a i t i n g f o r something else to happen, then you realise nothing has gone wrong."

Email: andrew@kutatownhouses.com ....or EXOTIQ see reception for further information PR RO OP PE ER RT TY Y P

first, I was just clicking on my phone and then afterwards I saw the aircraft," the 42-year-old said. "I think it is a once in a lifetime picture, I doubt I will see anything like that again." Passengers talked about the "massive bang" that shook their aircraft as one of the bolts hit. Tony Everitt, who was one of


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