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quote Quotes About Funny

Quotes tagged as "funny" (showing 181-210 of 3,000)

” ― Gena Showalter. sex. humor. marriage 555 likes Like Gena Showalter “To answer your question. and then wear a suit and noose to the job interview. blah. blah. BEER. blah. young-adults. relationships. blah. funny. I Want Two apply for a job at our country's largest funeral home. death. hate. funny. idiot. Scott “Those sweet lips. you want me because I'm made of awesome. humor.” . The Princess Bride tags: funny. tags: bad-news.Jess C. young." "Refusal means death. blah.” ― Jess C. humour. wisdom. The Intern tags: desire. late. scream 496 likes Like Jerry Lewis “I've had great success being a total idiot. My. blah. blah.” ― William Goldman. success 484 likes Like Denis Leary “All men hear is blah. FOOD. SEX. I could kiss those lips all night long. young-adult. blah. oh my. Buttercup whispered. but that person isn’t just late—they’re not even coming!” ― Jarod Kintz. romance. blah. dead. Heart of Darkness tags: funny. youth 930 likes Like William Goldman “I am your Prince and you will marry me." "I am your loyal servant and I just did. lust. honesty. truth." "I am you Prince and you cannot refuse. ” ― Jerry Lewis tags: funny." Humperdinck said. I’m sorry to break that bad news. passion. lewis. because I hate when people refer to a dead person as the “late” so and so. Good things come to those who wait. love." "Kill me then. jerry. humor 537 likes Like Jarod Kintz “I want to scream sometimes. "I am your servant and I refuse. Scott. humor.

Love quotes for the ages. mannequins 416 likes Like Jarod Kintz “I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future. lust. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins. funny. sleep. mustache 384 likes Like Jarod Kintz “My girlfriend bought me a collared shirt for my birthday. When I saw you with my clone in a dream. and I’m a gentleman. This Book is Not for Sale tags: clone. men 460 likes Like Jarod Kintz “When I saw you. Charles Manseur Fizzlebush Grissham III. tags: absurd.” ― Jarod Kintz.― Denis Leary tags: beer. I’ll shave mine off. I saw love. But since you’re a lady. This Book is Not for Sale . This is the story my great-grandfather told my father. funny. wait. love. lovers. When I saw you naked.” ― Jarod Kintz. humor.. future. Maybe Harry Potter’s real and you’re not. time-machine 393 likes Like Jarod Kintz “We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches.” ― Jarod Kintz. future. Specifically ages 18-81. I saw the future. I saw lust. but only through the internet? Are you real if I can read your comment but I don’t know who you are or what your name is or where you’re from or what you look like or how old you are? I know all of those things about Harry Potter. Boo. tags: fake-people. who then told me about how The Mythical Mr.” ― John Green tags: funny. humor. funny. harry-potter.” ― Jarod Kintz. what do you mean by real? Is this video blog real? Am I real if you can see me and hear me. and Orafoura are all in fact me. gentleman. Fizzlebush.” ― Jarod Kintz. funny. who then told my grandfather. reality 417 likes Like Jarod Kintz “I hate fake people.. This Book is Not for Sale tags: funny. love. mainly so I don’t get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk. naked 423 likes Like John Green “Harry Potter isn’t real? Oh no! Wait. better known as Mr.

truth 373 likes Like Jarod Kintz “Love is a bicycle with two pancakes for wheels. bicycle. novel. I could learn a great deal from you. culture. simile. “My eyes!” . music. technology. They wrote the book on possessive. relationships. birthday. hope. emotion. now that’s impressive. reality. exercise. walk 378 likes Like Jeaniene Frost “Juan gave Bones the most admiring look he’d bestowed on him yet. love. EyeLeash: A Blog Novel tags: body. funny. relationships. individuality.” ― Jarod Kintz tags: funny. wisdom. life. Armentrout “Oh. death. Others try to change the world one death at a time.” ― Jeaniene Frost. humor. dear God and baby Jesus in the manger. This Book is Not for Sale tags: change. humour. girl. funny. youth 322 likes Like Jarod Kintz “Some people try to change the world one life at a time. And I try to change the world one bucket full of dirt at a time. funny. funny. nipple. love. One Foot in the Grave tags: funny 378 likes Like Jarod Kintz “The truth is like a nipple: the more you twist it. “You talked her into going without panties all these years? Madre de Dios. amigo. love. humor. This Book is Not for Sale tags: absurd.” ― Jarod Kintz. pet. imagination. friendship. strange 316 likes Like Jennifer L. dogs. honesty. sex. my eyes!” Dee shrieked. humor. but I see it as more of a breakfast on the go. desire. self. pets. Scott “My head’ll explode if I continue with this escapism. pancakes 348 likes Like Charlaine Harris “Vampires. Scott. cool. truth. You may see love as more of an exercise in hard work. girlfriend. the more somebody is going to get hurt.” ― Jess C. romance. breakfast.” ― Charlaine Harris. sookie-eric 332 likes Like Jess C.tags: animals. passion. Dead to the World tags: funny. books.” ― Jarod Kintz. life. young. dog.

” ― Jarod Kintz. obsession. and he's going to come back and want our first-born child or something. because you'd still waste time by reading it. but the marshmallow committed suicide. diving into the flames." I shook my head and started walking." Daemon waggled his brows. tags: american. sarcasm 299 likes Like Jennifer L. funny. Opal tags: funny. writing 306 likes Like Rick Riordan “Tantalus made a wild grab. attic.― Jennifer L. hero. poetry. "You want kids? Because you know. Bob. In fact. Bob” ― Jarod Kintz. funny. Bob. practice makes--" "Shut up. export. americans. Armentrout. funny 301 likes Like Sherrilyn Kenyon “Well. humor 307 likes Like Jarod Kintz “Here's a haiku/palindrome I wrote called. palindrome. Bob. someone slap my butt and give me a hero cookie. The Sea of Monsters tags: curse. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. haiku. Infinity tags: funny. humor 314 likes Like Jarod Kintz “Too bad Americans can’t export Awesome. Bob. Originally Composed on a Leaf of Lettuce With an Inkdipped Carrot tags: bob. because I have boxes and boxes of the stuff just lying around in my attic. free is too expensive. this book would be overpriced. Bob. Bob.” ― Rick Riordan. Bob. awesome. (Nick)” ― Sherrilyn Kenyon. Bob. A Letter to Andre Breton. At even one penny. Bob." Bob. Bob. "Obsession.” . Armentrout “I have the feeling we just made a deal with the devil.

not tricycles.” ― Jarod Kintz. Rowling. tricycles 210 likes Like . I still shot him. Of course." "Say 'please. This Book is Not for Sale tags: funny. kill. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone tags: filch. Well. shoot. humor. photoshop. Armentrout. fire. funny. horse. clever. Rowling “Which way did they go. "Quick.” ― J. now where did they go?" "Shan't say nothing if you don't say please." "NOTHING! Ha haaa! Told you I wouldn't say nothing if you didn't say please! Ha ha! Haaaaaa!" And they heard the sound of Peeves whooshing away and Filch cursing in rage. Peeves?" Filch was saying. I shot him. $3. “The last time somebody pointed out that cowboys ride horses. more like indentured servant.” ― Jarod Kintz. I waited until another gunslinger gunned him down. Shave it because you care. This Book is Not for Sale tags: care.'" "Don't mess with me. humor.33 tags: christian-bale. indentured-servant." said Peeves in his annoying singsong voice. picture. funny. horses. humor. katy 297 likes Like J.― Jennifer L. creativity.” ― Jarod Kintz. love. cowboys. harry-potter. murder. cowboy. shot. picture-and-words. slave 239 likes Like Jarod Kintz “Don’t shave my head to make your wig of selfishness. funny. Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your Life tags: absurd. wife 254 likes Like Jarod Kintz “I am a slave to your love. gun. funny. funny. "All right. but nevertheless. marriage. tell me.” ― Jarod Kintz. peeves. text. not tricycles. Peeves. selfish. please 283 likes Like Jarod Kintz “The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her. gunned. Opal tags: daemon.PLEASE. wig 236 likes Like The last time somebody pointed out that cowboys ride horses.K. creative.K. design. I shot him.

At even one penny. tags: carried-away.Jarod Kintz “One thing I often get carried away with is piggyback rides. piggyback. free is too expensive.. because you'd still waste time by reading it. humor. funny. this book would be overpriced.. In fact. © 2014 Goodreads Inc about us advertise author program jobs api our blog terms privacy help switch to: mobile version . piggyback-rides 194 likes Like « previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 … 99 100 next » All Quotes | My Quotes | Add A Quote Browse By Tag love (28605) humor (25346) inspirational (21511) life (19414) funny (7004) death (5941) romance (5895) writing (5787) truth (5429) god (5267) wisdom (5222) poetry (4804) philosophy (4780) religion (4721) science (4018) happiness (3819) books (3806) inspiration (3727) faith (3445) relationships (3354) humour (3209) inspirational-quotes (3028) success (3000) politics (2957) reading (2890) hope (2820) women (2789) war (2764) art (2763) friendship (2725) More.
” ― Jarod Kintz.

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