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Run Joey Run!

A 1970’s AM Radio Musical

by Scott Mercer

Printed in the United States of America
Book portion © Copyright 2009 by Scott Mercer under the copyright laws of the United States of America and any international treaties the USA is a party to.
All song lyrics remain under the copyright of their respective composers and/or publishers. Web: Go ahead and try http://scottmercer.us e-mail: scottmercermail@gmail.com

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RUN JOEY RUN MUSICAL NUMBERS
Quick Joey Small (Run Joey Run) by Arthur Resnick and Joseph Levine © 1968 (Alley Music/Trio Music) Smile A Little Smile For Me by Tony Macaulay and Geoff Stephens © 1969 (EMI Publishing) Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) by Cook-Greenaway © 1970 (Warner-Chappell Music Inc.) Mary Ann by Arthur Resnick and Joseph Levine © 1968 (Alley Music/Trio Music) I’m Not Lisa by Mirriam Eddy © 1976 (Universal Songs of Polygram International Inc.) Saturday Night by Bill Martin and Phil Coulter © 1975 (Colgems EMI Music Inc.) Julie Do Ya Love Me by Tom Bahler © 1970 (Green Apple Music Company) Magic by Lyall William Christison and Paton David Thomson © 1975 (Screen Gems-EMI Music) I Think I Love You by Tony Romeo © 1970 (Screen Gems-EMI Music) My Baby Loves Lovin’ by Cook-Greenaway © 1969 (Universal/Dick James Music Limited Publishing) Sugar, Sugar by Jeff Barry and Andy Kim © 1969 (Sony-ATV Songs/Steeplechase Music) Sky High by Desmond Roy Dyer and Clive Kenneth Scott © 1976 (Songs of Universal) Run Joey Run by Jack Perricone and Paul Vance © 1975 (Music Sales Corporation) Chevy Van by Sammy Johns © 1975 (EMI Longitude Music/Sony-ATV Songs LLC/Universal Music Careers) Tracy by Paul Vance and Lee Pockriss © 1970 (Emily Music Corporation/Music Sales Corporation) Brandy (You’re A Fine Girl) by Elliot Lurie © 1971 (Warner Chappell Music Inc./Spruce Run Music Company) Ride Captain Ride by Mike Pinera © 1970 (ATM Music) I’m Your Captain (Closer to Home) by Mark Farner © 1970 (Storybook Music) When Julie Comes Around by Paul Vance and Lee Pockriss © 1971 (Emily Music Corporation/Paul J.Vance Publishing) Sweet Mary by Steve Jablecki © 1971 (Big Hawk Music Inc./Kama Sutra Music Inc.) Jimmy Loves Mary Anne by Elliot Lurie © 1973 (Warner-Chappell Music Inc./Spruce Run Music Company) Yellow River by Tony Christie © 1970 (Unichappell Music Inc.) Jackie Blue by Larry Lee and Steve Cash © 1975 (Irving Music) Billy Don’t Be A Hero by Roger Cook and Roger Greenaway © 1974 (Universal Polygram International Publishing Inc.) Little Willy by Nicky Chinn and Mike Chapman © 1973 (Universal Music – MGB Songs) All By Myself by Eric Carmen © 1976 (Eric Carmen Music/Universal Songs of Polygram International Inc.) Timothy by Rupert Holmes © 1972 (Jordon-Herman-Holmes Publishing Inc./Universal Music Publishing) Indiana Wants Me by R. Dean Taylor © 1970 (Stone Agate Music) Run Joey Run (reprise) by Jack Perricone and Paul Vance © 1975 (Music Sales Corporation) All Songs published by ASCAP and/or BMI affiliated publishers.

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DRAMATIS PERSONAE:
The Big Man Joe Small Julie Sherman Rance Sherman Mary Ann Moore Jimmy Barrett Tracy Travis Mama Travis Hank Clearwater Rosemary Thyme Brandy Wine Salty Douglas Captain Connelly Jackie Blue Sugar Jackson Billy Palmer Sally Simpson Roscoe Dell Timothy Carter Messenger Sheriff Jack Baines Prison Guard Female Guards High School Students Sailors Reporters TV Cameramen Diner Patrons Deputies/Police

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MUSICAL NUMBERS ACT I
Quick Joey Small (Run Joey Run) Smile A Little Smile For Me Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) Mary Ann I’m Not Lisa Saturday Night Julie Do Ya Love Me Magic I Think I Love You My Baby Loves Lovin’ Sugar, Sugar Sky High Run Joey Run

ACT II
Chevy Van Tracy Brandy Ride Captain Ride I’m Your Captain (Closer to Home) When Julie Comes Around Sweet Mary Jimmy Loves Mary Anne Yellow River Jackie Blue Billy Don’t Be A Hero Little Willy All By Myself Timothy Indiana Wants Me Run Joey Run (Reprise) 6

PRESHOW (Off to the side of the stage is a small set representing a disk jockey booth at a radio station. This is radio station WJD. A D.J. is in the booth, who goes by the name of THE BIG MAN. He spins records of the period (1968-1977) and does patter in a typical hyperactive, fast-talking 1960’s/1970’s AM radio Top 40 D.J. style, including radio station jingles of the period. The records may be in a prerecorded sequence, or, for authenticity’s sake, he may actually be spinning records live. He may also take requests from and/or banter with the audience. He remains visible throughout the production (except during intermission). During the musical numbers he either actually plays musical backing (if pre-recorded) or pretends to be doing so (spinning records) if a live band is used.) ACT I (The Place: Yellow River, Indiana. The Time: The 1970’s) THE BIG MAN. Guys and gals, boys and girls, wolves and kitties, and flying saucers passing by, this is The Big Man blasting your brain on WJD, the Mighty 1890 on your A.M. dial right here in Yellow River, Indiana. It’s been some kind of year in Yellow River. I think everyone remembers the excitement of a few months ago. (The curtains open. We see the wall of a prison. A sign reads “Yellow River State Prison.” A dirty, shackled prisoner jumps the wall. This is JOE SMALL, an average Midwestern teenager. A ball and chain are attached to his leg, which he carries.) (Sirens wail and blare, spotlights sweep the skies. He is free! SHERIFF JACK BAINES and PRISON GUARDS appear, chasing him down. Several of the guards have bloodhounds on leashes. Music begins. One of the guards sings lead as three (FEMALE GUARDS) sing back up.) 7

PRISON GUARD. QUICK JOEY SMALL WENT A-OVER THE WALL WITH A BALL AND CHAIN BEHIND HIM QUICK JOEY SMALL WENT A-OVER THE WALL SENT THE DOGS RIGHT OUT TO FIND HIM (ALL RIGHT) IN A STRIPED PRISON SUIT WITH NO LOOT, TO BOOT, HE HEADED FOR THE HIGHWAY WITH HIS CHAINS STILL DRAGGIN’ HE THUMBED DOWN A WAGON SAID “HEY ARE YOU GOIN’ MY WAY?” AND THEY SAY NOW, FEMALE GUARDS: (RUN JOEY! JOEY RUN RUN THE HOUNDS ARE ON YOUR TAIL!) JUMP UP! JUMP OUT! (RUN JOEY! JOEY RUN RUN THEY’RE GONNA SEND HIM BACK TO JAIL!) SHERIFF GOT A SHOT GUN (HE DO) HE’LL FILL YOU FULL OF LEAD, SON (IT’S TRUE) HE ALSO GOT A BLACKJACK (HE’S MAD) HE BUST YOUR HEAD WITH ONE WHACK (THAT’S THAT) (RUN JOEY! JOEY RUN RUN THE HOUNDS ARE ON YOUR TAIL!)

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PRISON GUARD. SWEET MARY ANNE WAS A GOIN’ INSANE WHEN SHE HEARD OF JOEY’S JAILBREAK BUT SHE KNEW ALL THE WHILE, HE WOULD GO SINGLE FILE TO PAY FOR HIS MISTAKE AND THEY SAY NOW, (RUN JOEY! JOEY RUN RUN THE HOUNDS ARE ON YOUR TAIL!) JUMP UP! JUMP OUT! (RUN JOEY! JOEY RUN RUN THEY’RE GONNA SEND HIM BACK TO JAIL!) JOE. SHERIFF JACK BAINES WASN’T MUCH ON BRAINS SHERIFF BAINES. BUT HE KNEW ONE THING FOR SURE HE TOOK SOME TOUGHS AND A PAIR OF HANDCUFFS AND HEADED STRAIGHT FOR MARY ANNE’S DOOR AND THEY SAY NOW (RUN JOEY! JOEY RUN RUN THE HOUNDS ARE ON YOUR TAIL!) GUARD. JUMP UP! JUMP OUT! (RUN JOEY! JOEY RUN RUN THEY’RE GONNA SEND HIM BACK TO JAIL!) RUN JOEY RUN! (The guards all leave the stage. Blackout. Lights come up on THE BIG MAN.) 9

THE BIG MAN. But let’s go back to where everything started. The beginning. That’s usually where it all starts, gang. The warm weather was back in Yellow River, and school was just about to let out for the summer. Looking back on it now, it seems like years ago. Everyone at Yellow River High School had summer fever. They all looked forward to a great summer of baseball, swimming, Drive-In movie dates and staying up late. Who could have possibly known that tragedy was lurking just around the bend? (The outside of Yellow River High School. A sign on the building indicates this. The class bell rings. Students exit the building and mill about outside. JOE SMALL and JIMMY BARRETT appear.) JOE. What’s up, Jimmy. One more week and we’re out of here. JIMMY. I’m counting the minutes. So, Joe, you found a job for the summer yet? JOE. Nah. Mr. Perkins said I could work at the Dog N’ Suds if I didn’t find anything else. How about you? JIMMY. Still got my eye on that life guarding job at Lake Elizabeth. JOE. Good luck on getting that one. JIMMY. And, I got my eye on something else, too. JOE. Oh, here we go. JIMMY. I tell you, Joe, I’m really gonna ask her out this time. JOE. Rosemary? JIMMY. You bet Rosemary. JOE. You know she’s with Hank Clearwater. JIMMY. Just laying the groundwork, my friend. Just laying the groundwork. JOE. It’s not going to work. JIMMY. Would you can it? You’re the last person I should be taking romantic advice from. You’re still pining for Lisa Walker. JOE. You just shut up about Lisa. JIMMY. Dude, when did she dump you? Isn’t it over a year ago now? 10

JOE. Doesn’t matter. We could still make it. If she would just give me a chance. She’s not going out with anybody. JIMMY. Maybe she doesn’t want to. JOE. How would you know anything about Lisa? JIMMY. Look, all I’m saying is, you need to get out there. Get out into the world. Stop moping in your room, thinking about Lisa. At least I’m trying to get something put together. JOE. If you say so…hey, looks like you got the chance to put something together right now. Here she comes. (ROSEMARY THYME, a beautiful hippie girl, approaches. With her is her best friend, MARY ANNE MOORE. MARY ANNE tries to console her. She hands ROSEMARY a tissue and she daubs her eyes.) JOE. Go on, Casanova, there she is. JIMMY. Okay, man, don’t rush me! (JIMMY approaches ROSEMARY.) JIMMY. Hey Rosemary. ROSEMARY. Oh. Hey, Jimmy. JIMMY. Rosemary – have you been crying? ROSEMARY. No. Of course not. JIMMY. I can tell you have. What’s wrong? ROSEMARY. Oh Jimmy! He dumped me! JIMMY. Hank? MARY ANNE. Yes. He didn’t even give her a reason. JIMMY. I didn’t ask you, Mary Anne. So, Rosemary, what did he say? ROSEMARY. He just said it was over. MARY ANNE. He said “Thank God it’s over.” He said he didn’t dig her anymore. That’s all. (ROSEMARY starts sobbing.)

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JIMMY Come on, Rosemary. Don’t cry. Can’t you give me a little smile? (Jimmy sings to a weepy Rosemary. Mary Anne looks on with jealousy.) JIMMY. YOU REALLY SHOULD ACCEPT THIS TIME HE’S GONE FOR GOOD HE’LL NEVER COME BACK NOW EVEN THOUGH HE SAID HE WOULD SO, DARLING, DRY YOUR EYES SO MANY OTHER GUYS WOULD GIVE THE WORLD I’M SURE TO WEAR THE SHOES HE WORE OH, COME ON, SMILE A LITTLE SMILE FOR ME, ROSEMARY WHAT’S THE USE IN CRYIN’? IN A LITTLE WHILE YOU’LL SEE, ROSEMARY YOU MUST KEEP ON TRYIN’ I KNOW THAT HE HURT YOU BAD I KNOW, DARLING, DON’T BE SAD AND, SMILE A LITTLE SMILE FOR ME, ROSEMARY, ROSEMARY I GUESS YOU’RE LONELY NOW LOVE’S COMING TO AN END BUT DARLING ONLY NOW ARE YOU FREE TO TRY AGAIN LIFT UP YOUR PRETTY CHIN DON’T LET THOSE TEARS BEGIN YOU’RE A BIG GIRL NOW AND YOU’LL PULL THROUGH SOMEHOW OH, COME ON, SMILE A LITTLE SMILE FOR ME, ROSEMARY WHAT’S THE USE IN CRYING? 12

IN A LITTLE WHILE YOU’LL SEE, ROSEMARY YOU MUST KEEP ON TRYING I KNOW THAT HE HURT YOU BAD COME ON DARLING, DON’T BE SAD AND SMILE A LITTLE SMILE FOR ME, ROSEMARY, ROSEMARY. SMILE A LITTLE SMILE FOR ME, ROSEMARY, ROSEMARY. ROSEMARY. Thanks, Jimmy. You’re a nice guy. JIMMY. I’d like to be more than that. ROSEMARY. Jimmy, I can’t. It’s just too early. (HANK CLEARWATER enters.) HANK. You bet your life it’s too early. ROSEMARY. Hank! HANK. Rosemary, what happened? ROSEMARY. I thought it was over between us. Isn’t that what you said? HANK. Uh, no. When I said “Thank God it’s all over,” I was talking about the school year. ROSEMARY. Really? HANK. Of course. MARY ANNE. But you said you didn’t dig her anymore. HANK. No! You got it all wrong. When I said I didn’t dig you, I just meant that I didn’t hear what you said. (Rosemary runs to Hank and they hug.) ROSEMARY. Oh, Hank! I was such an idiot. HANK. It’s okay, Rosemary. Just a simple mistake. You know I love you. ROSEMARY. But how can I be sure, Hank? HANK. Here’s how.

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(HANK sings to her. The assembled STUDENTS sing backup in the choruses.) HANK. SHE AIN’T GOT NO MONEY HER CLOTHES ARE KINDA FUNNY HER HAIR IS REALLY WILD AND FREE OH BUT LOVE GROWS WHERE MY ROSEMARY GOES AND NOBODY KNOWS LIKE ME SHE ACTS A LITTLE LAZY AND PEOPLE SAY SHE’S CRAZY AND HER LIFE’S A MYSTERY OH BUT LOVE GROWS WHERE MY ROSEMARY GOES AND NOBODY KNOWS LIKE ME THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT HER HAND HOLDING MINE IT’S A FEELING SO FINE AND I JUST GOTTA SAY (HEY!) SHE’S REALLY GOT A MAGICAL SPELL AND IT’S WORKING SO WELL THAT I CAN’T STAY AWAY I’M A LUCKY FELLER AND I JUST GOT TO TELL HER THAT I LOVE HER ENDLESSLY BECAUSE LOVE GROWS WHERE MY ROSEMARY GOES AND NOBODY KNOWS LIKE ME THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT HER HAND HOLDING MINE IT’S A FEELING SO FINE AND I JUST GOTTA SAY (HEY!) SHE’S REALLY GOT A MAGICAL SPELL AND IT’S WORKING SO WELL THAT I CAN’T STAY AWAY

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I’M A LUCKY FELLA AND I JUST GOT TO TELL HER THAT I LOVE HER ENDLESSLY BECAUSE LOVE GROWS WHERE MY ROSEMARY GOES AND NOBODY KNOWS LIKE ME (HANK and ROSEMARY exit, arm in arm. MARY ANNE approaches a sad-looking JIMMY.) THE BIG MAN. It seems that our friend Jimmy has struck out. But one thing about striking out is, usually you get another turn at bat before the game is over. Looks like Jimmy’s about to get his second turn at bat. MARY ANNE. Jimmy? JIMMY. Yeah? MARY ANNE. I’m sorry about that. Talk about a misunderstanding. That was partly my fault, too. I was ready to think the worst of Hank. JIMMY. Okay. MARY ANNE. No, I mean it. I’m sorry that you went through that. You really put yourself out there. Not every guy would have the courage to do that. You’re a brave guy. JIMMY. I guess. MARY ANNE. You know what, I like brave guys. JIMMY. That’s great, Mary Anne. Thanks for that. MARY ANNE. So, I just have one more question. When are you taking me out? JIMMY. Huh? Wait a second, you just can’t do that all of a sudden like that. You’re not playing by the rules here. The guy has to ask the girl out. MARY ANNE. Oh really? And why is that? JIMMY. Well, because, that’s just the rules. That’s the way it’s always been. And that’s the way it should be! MARY ANNE. Look, Jimmy, this isn’t 1952. It’s The Seventies! I’m a liberated woman. JIMMY. Don’t tell me, you’re into that Women’s Lib stuff? 15

MARY ANNE. What if I am? And besides, we’re almost about to graduate high school. We’re not getting any younger. JIMMY. I guess you’re right about that. MARY ANNE. So? Can we go out sometime? JIMMY. Talk about putting yourself out there. I guess it would be rude to say no. Sure. Are you busy tomorrow night? MARY ANNE. Yes, I’m busy. JIMMY. What? MARY ANNE. Busy with you. JIMMY. (laughs) Come on! You had me going there. Can I pick you up at seven? MARY ANNE. Seven is heaven. (Jimmy takes Mary Anne’s hand. They smile at each other.) THE BIG MAN: And so, couple number one had come together. The first piece of the puzzle in our jigsaw of tragedy had fallen into place. Over the next few days, Jimmy and Mary Anne spent a lot of time together, including graduation night and the after-graduation party. Joe stayed home, but Jimmy didn’t miss him much. And after their rocky start, Jimmy felt like he was getting in deep with Mary Anne. It could even be love. Sure, it was young love. But as a great philosopher once said, from tiny saplings grow great oaks. And it was only a few days later at our local ice cream hangout, The Sugar Shack, that Jimmy made his feelings known. (Jimmy and Mary Anne sit at a table sharing goo-goo eyes and an ice cream soda.) JIMMY. You know, for a pushy girl, I’m starting to like you. MARY ANNE. Well, for a male chauvinist pig, I’m starting to like you a lot too. JIMMY. It’s okay, your secret’s safe with me. I won’t tell all your women’s libber friends that you like all that romantic stuff. MARY ANNE. Okay, you want to get mushy, eh? 16

JIMMY. Oh, I can get as mushy as the best of them, baby. MARY ANNE. Oh really? I’d like to see that. JIMMY. I think I’ve just been challenged. MARY ANNE. You sure have. JIMMY. Then baby, just watch me. JIMMY: ONLY ONCE IN A LIFE DOES A BOY FIND A GIRL HE LOVES AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU MARY ANN GIVE TO ME YOUR LOVE IF YOU CAN I KNOW WE’LL BE HAPPY AGAIN THINK OF WHAT YOU DO ONLY ONCE IN A LIFE DOES A BOY FEEL AS GLAD AS I FELT WHEN I SAW YOU MARY ANN GIVE TO ME YOUR LOVE IF YOU CAN I KNOW WE’LL BE HAPPY AGAIN THINK OF WHAT YOU DO DO TO THE ONE BOY WHO NEEDS YOU SO BAD YOU WERE MY ONE JOY DON’T YOU MAKE ME SO SAD ONLY ONCE IN A LIFE DOES A BOY CRY THE TEARS THAT I CRIED WHEN I FOUND YOU MARY ANN GIVE TO ME YOUR LOVE IF YOU CAN I KNOW WE’LL BE HAPPY AGAIN THINK OF WHAT YOU DO, MARY ANN GIVE TO ME YOUR LOVE IF YOU CAN I KNOW WE’LL BE HAPPY AGAIN 17

MARY ANNE. That was great! JIMMY. Shucks, ma’am. T’weren’t nothing.’ MARY ANNE. You need to be wearing a cowboy hat if you talk like that. JIMMY. I can arrange that. MARY ANNE. Really? I bet you’d look good in one. How about the chaps and the spurs? JIMMY. It might take me a little longer to come up with those. (Joe sits at a table nearby, nursing a soda and staring at the table top. Julie approaches him.) JULIE. Joe? JOE. Yeah. JULIE. Hi. I’m Julie Sherman. JOE. I know your name. JULIE. Mind if I sit down? JOE. It’s a free country. (Julie sits across from Joe.) JULIE. I don’t mean to pry, but it looks like you could use some company. JOE. Me? Nah, I’m a regular Fourth of July parade, all by myself. JULIE. So, what are your plans, now that we’ve graduated? JOE. Haven’t thought about it really. I’m doing a few shifts at the Dog N’ Suds right now. JULIE. And after that? JOE. Not sure yet. Might get into an auto mechanic class this fall. That pays pretty good. JULIE. Well, I’m going to college. Ball State. JOE. Is that right? Must be nice to be able to afford that. Good for you. Really. JULIE. Listen, you mentioned the Fourth of July. Are you going to see the fireworks? JOE. Maybe. JULIE. Well, I’d sure like to go. 18

JOE. Julie, believe me, I catch your meaning. But you know I go out with Lisa Walker. JULIE. You mean you used to go out with Lisa Walker. JOE. Okay, technically speaking. But we’ll be getting back together. I know it. JULIE. Didn’t you guys break up like a whole year ago? JOE. Maybe, but notice that she hasn’t gone out with anyone else. She still has feelings for me. The same feelings I have for her. JULIE. Joe, I hate to break this to you. But Lisa is seeing someone else. JOE. What? JULIE. Yes. She’s going out with Steve Caldwell. JOE. Really? JULIE. Yes, I overheard her in the cafeteria last week. Then I saw them together at the movies. JOE. Damn. No wonder she wasn’t returning my calls. JULIE. So, can’t you realize that she doesn’t feel the same way about you that you feel about her? JOE. I hear the words, Julie. But I can’t make any sense of them. I’m going to have to take some time and think about this. JULIE. Joe, really, isn’t it time to move on? JOE. Julie, you’re a great girl. But this is just too hard. I need some time. I’m sorry. I should go. (JOE exits, leaving Julie alone.) JULIE. Why can’t he give me a chance? I know I’m not Lisa. I’m just me. But I deserve a chance too. JULIE. I’M NOT LISA MY NAME IS JULIE LISA LEFT YOU YEARS AGO MY EYES ARE NOT BLUE BUT MINE WON’T LEAVE YOU ‘TIL THE SUNLIGHT HAS TOUCHED YOUR FACE 19

SHE WAS YOUR MORNING LIGHT HER SMILE TOLD OF NO NIGHT YOUR LOVE FOR HER GREW WITH EACH RISING SUN AND THEN ONE SUNNY DAY HIS HAND LED HERS AWAY SHE LEFT YOU HERE DROWNING IN YOUR TEARS, HERE WHERE YOU’VE STAYED FOR YEARS CRYING LISA, LISA I’M NOT LISA MY NAME IS JULIE LISA LEFT YOU YEARS AGO MY EYES ARE NOT BLUE BUT MINE WON’T LEAVE YOU ‘TIL THE SUNLIGHT HAS TOUCHED YOUR FACE I’M NOT LISA THE BIG MAN. Looks like young love is sliding down the charts, headed for the cut-out bin. But love is strong, and it takes more than a temporary setback to put it out of commission. Yes gang, love is fading, but it could make a big comeback, number one with a bullet! And it’s about to get another chance on a front porch in Yellow River. (Joe sits on his porch at the trailer park. A sign reads “Yellow River Trailer Park.” Jimmy comes over and sits next to him.) JIMMY. Hey buddy, what’s going on? JOE. Not much. Might go for a swim later on. JIMMY. Right. You lucky dog. JOE. What are you talking about now? JIMMY. I hear Julie Sherman wanted to get together with you. JOE. Yeah, sort of. 20

JIMMY. So, you said yes, right? JOE. No, I didn’t. JIMMY. What are you, kidding me? JOE. Look, I think I still have a chance with Lisa. I can’t say no to that. JIMMY. Let me give you some advice, my friend. Something my grandfather told me. A bird in your hand is worth two in her bush. JOE. What does that mean? JIMMY. It means don’t look at a gift horse to make it drink. JOE. What? JIMMY. Don’t pass up a sure thing. Julie likes you. JOE. But, Lisa is – JIMMY. Lisa is going out with that guy Steve. He’s a year older than us, dude. He’s already in college. JOE. Yeah, I know. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t remind me. JIMMY. So wake up and look around you. Julie’s cute, man. She seems really mellow, too. Not uptight at all. So give her a chance. JOE. I don’t know. JIMMY. Look, Lisa’s with someone else now. She might not be with him forever. Maybe later you can get another chance. In the meantime, why not give Julie a shot? I think she deserves it. And who knows, things might work out between you two. (Julie enters.) JIMMY. What a coincidence. Hi Julie. JULIE. Hi Jimmy. Hi Joe. JOE. Julie. JULIE. Joe, can we talk? JIMMY. Whoa! Would you look at the time? I got to go, er – polish my cat. Yeah. JOE. You don’t have a cat. JIMMY. I don’t? Gee, then what have I been stroking? (Jimmy exits.) 21

JULIE. Joe, I just came to apologize. I’m really sorry. JOE. Sorry? What do you have to apologize for? JULIE. I was pressuring you. I shouldn’t have done that. You have some things to work through. I can see you’re still thinking about Lisa. (Joe stares at Julie, considers.) JOE. Lisa? Who’s Lisa? (Julie smiles at Joe) JULIE. I see. JOE. Look, I’m the one who’s sorry. I finally talked to Lisa. You were right, she is dating that guy Steve. We’re over. Have been for a long time. I’ve been living in a dream world. I just didn’t see that. I didn’t want to see that. And I didn’t give you a chance. That wasn’t fair at all. JULIE. Okay. JOE. Julie, I don’t know what kind of chance we really do have, but I’d like to find out. JULIE. Me too. JOE. So, do you still want to go see the fireworks? JULIE. That would be great. JOE. I’ll pick you up at your house on Saturday at Seven. JULIE. Er, no. Why don’t we meet at the park? JOE. You sure? It’s no problem for me to get you. I can just whip on by after work. JULIE. You’re sweet, but I’d rather do it this way. See you Saturday at Seven? JOE. Okay. (Julie leaves, blowing Joe a kiss. Joe smiles.) JOE. Saturday night. Been a while since I’ve looked forward to a Saturday night. Hot damn! 22

(The entire cast comes on the stage. A spectacular dance number ensues with streamers and confetti exploding at the end of the extravaganza.) ALL. S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT! S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT! JOE. GONNA KEEP ON DANCING TO THE ROCK AND ROLL ON SATURDAY NIGHT SATURDAY NIGHT DANCIN’ TO THE RHYTHM IN OUR HEART AND SOUL ON SATURDAY NIGHT SATURDAY NIGHT ALL. I-I-I-I JUST CAN’T WAIT I-I-I-I GOT A DATE JOE. AT THE GOOD OLD ROCK AND ROLL ROAD SHOW I GOTTA GO SATURDAY NIGHT SATURDAY NIGHT GONNA ROCK IT UP ROLL IT UP DO IT ALL HAVE A BALL ON SATURDAY NIGHT SATURDAY NIGHT ALL. IT’S JUST A SATURDAY NIGHT IT’S JUST A SATURDAY NIGHT IT’S JUST A SATURDAY NIGHT IT’S JUST A SATURDAY NIGHT S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT! S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT! S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT! S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!

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THE BIG MAN. Julie and Joe both thought Saturday night would never get there, but finally the time had come. The Fourth of July. Independence day. It was a hot summer night and everyone had the holiday spirit. Parades, marching bands, hamburgers and hot dogs. Smoke from the barbeque grills and exploding firecrackers was all around, but something much more powerful filled the air: love. JULIE. Hi. JOE. Hi. You ready to see some fireworks? JULIE. (whispers) In more ways than one. JOE. What was that? JULIE. I said I’m ready to have some fun. (Julie and Joe sit down on a bench, facing away from the audience, watching the fireworks, as Sousa music plays, in a prototypical Norman Rockwell scene.) JULIE. This is so beautiful. JOE. (staring at Julie) I’ll say. JULIE. I meant the fireworks. JOE. Right. They’re great, too. I like fireworks. JULIE. Me too. JOE. But I’d rather we make some fireworks of our own. (They kiss as the Sousa music blares.) THE BIG MAN. In case you couldn’t tell, things with Julie and Joe were moving faster than an old Cab Calloway 78. They were stuck on the turntable of love, spinning away. When it would stop, they didn’t know. But it would stop, oh yes. The turntable always stops, kids.

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(Julie’s house. Julie comes in, trying not to make any noise. Her father, Rance Sherman, is waiting for her. And he is NOT a happy camper.) RANCE. You know what time it is, young lady? JULIE. I can tell time daddy. I’m a big girl. RANCE. Very funny. We agreed you’d be home by eleven. It’s one thirty. Where have you been? JULIE. With a friend. I’ve been very safe. RANCE. Yes, but it wasn’t a girlfriend, now was it? (Julie does not answer.) RANCE. I think you just answered me. You seeing that Small kid? JULIE. Yes, Daddy. I told you I was. RANCE. Well I don’t like it. He’s not good enough for you. JULIE. What? Why? RANCE. He’s not like us, Julie. JULIE. How do you know what he’s like? You’ve only met him once. RANCE. I know who he is, Julie. I looked into him. I know where he lives. His father ran out on him years ago. He lives with his mother and his sister down at the trailer park. JULIE. So what? RANCE. So what? He’s not in your league. JULIE. Why? Because he doesn’t have that much money? Like you and your friends at the chemical plant? RANCE. Yes. He’s low class. You come from a good family. He’s nothing but trash. Trailer trash. He is never going to amount to anything! JULIE. The Amazing Rance Sherman. Traveling psychic. He can see the future! RANCE. I don’t have to see the future, honey. I can look at him right now and see he’s not worthy of you. He’s going to be in that trailer for the rest of his life. JULIE. How do you know? I thought this was America, where anyone can lift themselves from poverty if they work hard enough. 25

RANCE. Look. I want you to go to college, get your degree and find a nice law student or med student. Get married. Settle down and start a family. Buy a nice house in a good town somewhere. It’s a great life, Julie. It’s given me many rewards. Like you. JULIE. Dad, it may be a great life for you. But that doesn’t mean it’s great for everybody. I need more than that. RANCE. Julie. I can’t have you seeing this boy anymore. I forbid it. JULIE. Oh really? You forbid it. I see. Dad, I’m going to be 18 years old in four months. Once that happens, you can’t force me to do anything. RANCE. I’m not forcing anything, Julie. This is not punishment. I just don’t want you ruining your life. Can’t you see that? JULIE. Dad. I’m not ruining my life. I’m just dating someone. Someone that makes me happy. Can’t you be happy that I’m happy? RANCE. Of course I want you to be happy. But I also want you to be careful. Don’t do anything stupid. Don’t see Joe Small anymore. (Julie scowls at her father and leaves the room. Rance shakes his head.) RANCE. Oh Julie. THE BIG MAN. Julie had quite an insight there. Could her father see the future? And if he could, what kind of crystal ball was he working with? And where could I get one? I got a horse in the fifth race today… Anyway, Rance saw gloom and doom in the room, and it was all about to go boom! (Outside the Yellow River Bowl-A-Rama. Julie and Joe exit. They hold hands as they walk.) JULIE. That was fun. 26

JOE. Oh, sure, for you. You beat me by thirty pins! JULIE. You bet I did. And I’ll take you down again, my friend. JOE. I don’t think so. JULIE. We’ll see about that. JOE. So, how long have we been together now? JULIE. Today’s two weeks. JOE. Really? I didn’t even know that. Huh. You knew that right off the top of your head? JULIE. Well, I’m a girl. We take note of things like that. JOE. I guess it’s a lucky thing that I got you this then. (Joe pulls a small box out of his pocket and hands it to Julie.) JULIE. Oh Joe! Really? You remembered? JOE. Listen, I’m a guy. We really don’t take note of things like that. But I knew it would mean something to you. Open it. (Julie opens the box.) JULIE. Joe, a locket! It’s beautiful. Is that a diamond? JOE. Yeah. It’s a tiny one, but it is a diamond. JULIE. But how? JOE. Cashed my paycheck, broke open the piggy bank. No big deal. JULIE. Oh thank you! JOE: Julie, I have something to tell you. JULIE. Something good, I hope. JOE. Not really. I’m going to be gone for two weeks. JULIE. Why? JOE: Well, I was hoping I could get out of it, but I have to go on this stupid trip with my mom and my sister to the Wisconsin Dells. We’ve got relatives up there we stay with every summer. JULIE. Stupid? That sounds like fun. JOE. Not without you. I’d much rather stay here. JULIE. So why don’t you? 27

JOE. I want to. But I can’t really. My mom’s been planning this thing for over six months. Hey! Maybe you can come with us! JULIE. Ha ha! No way my dad will let that happen. Forget it. The only way that would happen is if we got married. (Joe lets that hang in the air and looks Julie in the eye.) JOE. Now there’s an idea. Look, I think I’d still better go. I don’t want to let my mom down. But I’ll be thinking about you. Believe me. JULIE: I believe you. JOE. Good. But just in case, I’d better make my point. JOE: BEING ALONE AT NIGHT MAKES ME SAD, GIRL YEAH IT BRINGS ME DOWN ALL RIGHT TOSSING AND TURNING AND FREEZING AND BURNING AND CRYING ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT WHOA-OH JULIE, JULIE, JULIE, DO YOU LOVE ME? JULIE, JULIE, JULIE, DO YOU CARE? JULIE, JULIE, ARE YOU THINKING OF ME? JULIE, JULIE WILL YOU STILL BE THERE? WE HAD SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER I WAS SURE THAT YOU WERE MINE BUT LEAVING YOU BABY, IS DRIVING ME CRAZY IT’S GOT ME WONDERING ALL THE TIME WHOA-OH JULIE, JULIE, JULIE, DO YOU LOVE ME? JULIE, JULIE, JULIE, DO YOU CARE? JULIE, JULIE, ARE YOU THINKING OF ME? JULIE, JULIE WILL YOU STILL BE THERE? HONEY YOU CRIED THE DAY I LEFT YOU EVEN THOUGH WE KNEW I COULDN’T STAY BUT BABY, REMEMBER, I’LL BE BACK SEPTEMBER BUT TILL THEN I’LL WRITE YOU EVERYDAY 28

WHOA-OH JULIE, JULIE, JULIE, DO YOU LOVE ME? JULIE, JULIE, JULIE, DO YOU CARE? JULIE, JULIE, ARE YOU THINKING OF ME? JULIE, JULIE WILL YOU STILL BE THERE? JULIE. Yes, Joe, I will be thinking of you. JOE. I’m glad. I’ve got to go pack. We’re leaving on Friday. JULIE. Okay. I’ll be looking for your letters. JOE. I’ll be writing. Bye. (Julie leaves, leaving Joe to stew.) THE BIG MAN. Here’s a man who needs to think. He needs to commiserate with his comrades. Be where a man can be a man. Where a man get a good stiff drink and drown his sorrows. So he goes to The Sugar Shack for a chocolate shake. (Several tables of teenagers are occupying the Sugar Shack. Jimmy and Mary Anne are sitting at a table. Joe comes in and sits down at their table. He begins distractedly grabbing their French fries and eating all their food like a robot on automatic.) JOE. Hey, guys. How’s things? JIMMY. Hey Joe. Hungry? JOE. Huh? No, not really. MARY ANNE. Joe, you seem a little distracted. (Joes looks at his watch, as he continues shoving food in his mouth.) JOE. Huh? Nine fifteen. JIMMY. What’s going on, Joe? JOE. Partly cloudy, chance of rain. JIMMY. Will you snap out of it! MARY ANNE. What’s your deal? JOE. It sucks, man. Julie and I were just getting things going. 29

Now I’ve got to go on this stupid trip to Wisconsin, with my mom and my sister. Man! JIMMY. Well, can’t you get out of it? JOE. I guess, but it would break my mom’s heart. She’s been saving up for this trip for ages. MARY ANNE. Well, maybe you could invite Julie along. JOE. I thought of that. She was positive her dad would keep that from happening. No way. JIMMY. So, what are you going to do? JOE. Go. Be miserable. Write her two letters a day. JIMMY. Man, I’m sorry. MARY ANNE. Here, you need a drink (Mary Anne gives him her chocolate shake. Joe inhales it through the straw, making loud sucking sounds.) MARY ANNE. How’s that? Feel better? JOE. Yeah. I do feel a little better. That Sugar sure works magic with a blender. JIMMY. Yes she does. Say, where is Sugar anyway? Sugar! (Sugar Jackson, an eccentrically-dressed, attractive middle-aged woman, enters from the back.) SUGAR. Stop your hollering now! Good Ol’ Sugar is here. JIMMY. Sugar, this man has to leave his lady love for two weeks. He’s in dire need of some cheering up. What can you do for him? SUGAR. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have not seen a boy looking this depressed since I can’t even remember when. I can see a drastic remedy is in order. Prepare yourselves, children. The time has come once again for your lovely and talented Sugar to whip up…The Heartbreak Solution. (The assembled crowd gasps in awe. Sugar begins grabbing vials and concocting a potion, pouring a ridiculous number of ingredients into a giant mixing cup, flipping bottles and glasses as in the movie “Cocktail.”) 30

JIMMY. The Heartbreak Solution! My God! She hasn’t made that one since the Jamie Elkins Breakup Disaster of ’69! MARY ANNE. Sugar, are you sure? That’s some potent medicine. SUGAR. Ah, but our young friend here needs it. I can tell. Sugar knows a man who needs a lot of help when she sees one. JIMMY. Careful now, Sugar, you’ll tear a ligament! SUGAR. Don’t you worry about Ol’ Sugar, now. I was mixing milkshakes when you was still swimming around in your father’s chinos, boy! (Having finished her insanely acrobatic mixing ritual, Sugar comes to the table and presents a large, overly-festooned milkshake-like object with whipped topping, cherries, nuts, sprinkles, giant multicolored curly straws and even a lit sparkler.) SUGAR. Now, don’t say anything. Drink. (Joe takes the straw and sucks back a big portion of the milkshake. His expression changes from one of depression to one of unbridled glee. The assembled crowd cheers him on until he has drained the glass.) JOE. Sugar, that’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted! SUGAR. Got that right. JOE. I feel like, I can go on living! JIMMY. Sugar, you’re amazing! SUGAR. Do tell. MARY ANNE. You’re astounding. SUGAR. Is that all? JIMMY. You make us all want to… JOE. SING! ALL: SUGAR, AH HONEY HONEY YOU ARE MY CANDY GIRL AND YOU’VE GOT ME WANTING YOU HONEY, AH SUGAR SUGAR 31

YOU ARE MY CANDY GIRL AND YOU’VE GOT ME WANTING YOU I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE THE LOVLINESS OF LOVING YOU (I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S TRUE) I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE THE ONE TO LOVE THIS FEELING TO (I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S TRUE) SUGAR, AH HONEY HONEY YOU ARE MY CANDY GIRL AND YOU’VE GOT ME WANTING YOU HONEY, AH SUGAR SUGAR YOU ARE MY CANDY GIRL AND YOU’VE GOT ME WANTING YOU WHEN I KISSED YOU GIRL, I KNEW HOW SWEET A KISS COULD BE (I KNEW HOW SWEET A KISS COULD BE) LIKE THE SUMMER SUNSHINE POUR YOUR SWEETNESS OVER ME (POUR YOUR SWEETNESS OVER ME) SUGAR, POUR A LITLE SUGAR ON ME HONEY POUR A LITTLE SUGAR ON ME BABY I’M GONNA MAKE YOUR LIFE SO SWEET, YEAH YEAH YEAH POUR A LITTLE SUGAR ON IT OH YEAH POUR A LITTLE SUGAR ON IT HONEY POUR A LITTLE SUGAR ON IT BABY I’M GONNA MAKE YOUR LIFE SO SWEET, YEAH YEAH YEAH POUR A LITTLE SUGAR ON IT HONEY, AH SUGAR, AH HONEY HONEY, YOU ARE MY CANDY GIRL AND YOU’VE GOT ME WANTING YOU OH HONEY, SUGAR, SUGAR 32

YOU ARE MY CANDY GIRL AND YOU’VE GOT ME WANTING YOU JOE. Sugar, you’ve made me realize something. I have to follow my dreams. I belong with Julie. I’m not going to Wisconsin! (The crowd cheers. Joe raises his arms in victory. Jimmy and Mary Anne embrace.) THE BIG MAN. The next morning, Joe went looking for Julie. She wasn’t at home, but it wasn’t long until he found her at the park, at the very same location where they had first watched the fireworks, weeks ago. JOE. Julie! Julie! JULIE. Joe! You’re here! My god, what’s the matter? JOE. Nothing. For the first time in my life, I can truly say that nothing is the matter. JULIE. What are you talking about? JOE. Julie, I told my mom. I told her I didn’t want to go to Wisconsin. I wanted to stay here with you. JULIE. Really? How did she take it? JOE. Well, she was disappointed. But she went anyway. And she took my sister. It’s just you and me kid, for the next two weeks. JULIE. Joe, I’m very happy. JOE. Me too, Jules. JULIE. Joe, before you say anything else, there’s something I have to tell you. I was tossing and turning all night last night. But, I think if I get it all out, I’ll be fine. Listen: JULIE: I’M SLEEPING AND RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A GOOD DREAM LIKE ALL AT ONCE I WAKE UP FROM SOMETHING THAT KEEPS KNOCKING AT MY BRAIN BEFORE I GO INSANE I HOLD MY PILLOW TO MY HEAD 33

AND SPRING UP IN MY BED SCREAMING OUT THE WORDS I DREAD: I THINK I LOVE YOU! THIS MORNING, I WOKE UP WITH THIS FEELING I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH AND SO I JUST DECIDED TO MYSELF I’D HIDE IT TO MYSELF AND NEVER TALK ABOUT IT AND DIDN’T I GO AND SHOUT IT WHEN YOU WALKED INTO MY ROOM: “I THINK I LOVE YOU!” I THINK I LOVE YOU SO WHAT AM I SO AFRAID OF? I’M AFRAID THAT I’M NOT SURE OF A LOVE THERE IS NO CURE FOR I THINK I LOVE YOU ISN’T THAT WHAT LIFE IS MADE OF? THOUGH IT WORRIES ME TO SAY I’VE NEVER FELT THIS WAY BELIEVE ME YOU REALLY DON’T HAVE TO WORRY I ONLY WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY AND IF YOU SAY, HEY, GO AWAY, I WILL BUT I THINK BETTER STILL I OUGHT TO STAY AROUND AND LOVE YOU DO YOU THINK I HAVE A CASE? LET ME ASK YOU TO YOUR FACE DO YOU THINK YOU LOVE ME? I THINK I LOVE YOU JOE. Julie, that’s amazing. JULIE. Oh Joe, I’m so glad we can be together. I think I love you, Joe. 34

JOE. Right back at you. JULIE. So, what do you think Joe? JOE. I think I’m in love. And I think you’re in love. And you think you love me. And I think I love you. JULIE. Right. JOE. I love you so much, I think I love you more than I love you! And I love the fact you love me. And you love the fact that I love you. And I love loving you. And you love loving me. JULIE. Yes! I love loving you! JOE. MY BABY LOVES, MY BABY LOVES LOVING SHE’S GOT WHAT IT TAKES, AND SHE KNOWS HOW USE IT MY BABY LOVES LOVING, MY BABY LOVES LOVING SHE’S GOT WHAT IT TAKES, AND SHE KNOWS HOW USE IT I WAS LONELY ONCE IN THIS GREAT BIG WORLD JUST A NOWHERE MAN WITHOUT A GIRL TILL THAT LUCKY DAY WHEN SHE CAME MY WAY AND SHE SMILED AT ME AS IF TO SAY MY BABY LOVES, MY BABY LOVES LOVING SHE’S GOT WHAT IT TAKES, AND SHE KNOWS HOW USE IT MY BABY LOVES, MY BABY LOVES LOVING SHE’S GOT WHAT IT TAKES, AND SHE KNOWS HOW USE IT SHE’S THE ONLY ONE, MAKES ME FEEL SO GOOD CAN’T BELIEVE MY LUCK SO I KNOCK ON WOOD ALL MY SILENT FEARS SEEM TO FLY AWAY AS SHE SMILES AT ME AS IF TO SAY YOUR BABY LOVES LOVING, MY BABY LOVES LOVING SHE’S GOT WHAT IT TAKES FOR ME 35

NO MORE LONELY NIGHTS JUST WAITING FOR THE TELEPHONE TO RING NO MORE LONLEY DAYS, MY BABY’S TAKING CARE OF EVERYTHING I’M TELLING YOU PEOPLE MY BABY LOVES, MY BABY LOVES LOVING SHE’S GOT WHAT IT TAKES, AND SHE KNOWS HOW USE IT MY BABY LOVES LOVING, MY BABY LOVES LOVING SHE’S GOT WHAT IT TAKES, AND SHE KNOWS HOW USE IT SHE’S THE ONLY ONE, MAKES ME FEEL SO GOOD CAN’T BELIEVE MY LUCK SO I KNOCK ON WOOD ALL MY SILENT FEARS SEEM TO FLY AWAY AS SHE LOOKS AT ME AS IF TO SAY YOUR BABY LOVES LOVING, MY BABY LOVES LOVING SHE’S GOT WHAT IT TAKES FOR ME (Julie and Joe collapse, exhausted from their declarations of love.) JULIE. So. JOE. So. JULIE. What happens now? JOE. I don’t know. But, I do know one thing. JULIE. What? JOE. There’s nobody at my house. JULIE. That’s right. JOE. I guess we could go over there. JULIE. We could do that. JOE. What would you like to do? JULIE. That’s a good question. I bet we could come up with something. JOE. You think so? 36

JULIE. It’s worth a try. JOE. Race you there. (They both run off, giggling wildly.) THE BIG MAN. What happens now? Two teenagers. An empty house. Some beer in the refrigerator. Do I have to draw you guys a map or what? Take a guess! Exactly what you think happened, happened. All night long. But, finally, the morning came. The morning had to wait its turn. (We are in the living room at Joe’s house. It is now morning. Joe and Julie exit the bedroom, both in bathrobes. They plop down on the couch and wrap arms around each other.) JULIE. You’re pretty quiet. What are you thinking? JOE. Well, you’ve done this before, right? JULIE. No. You have, though, right? JOE. Who? Me? Of course I have! What do you take me for? How dare you even insinuate that I, a man of the world -- no. JULIE. Joe, it’s okay. What does it matter, anyway? JOE. It’s just that, the whole night, the whole experience was so much better than I thought it would be. JULIE. Be serious. JOE. I am being serious. JULIE. Okay, okay. I’m with you. It was pretty good. JOE. Pretty good? It was like, walking on air! JULIE. Right, like flying! JOE. It was better than a dream. JULIE. Better than the best dream I’ve ever had. JOE. It was amazing. JULIE. It was spectacular. JOE. It was a fantasy. JULIE. It was magic.

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JULIE AND JOE: OH, OH, OH, IT’S MAGIC, YOU KNOW NEVER BELIEVE IT’S NOT SO IT’S MAGIC, YOU KNOW NEVER BELIEVE IT’S NOT SO JOE: NEVER BEEN AWAKE NEVER SEEN A DAY BREAK LEANING ON MY PILLOW IN THE MORNING LAZY DAY IN BED MUSIC IN MY HEAD CRAZY MUSIC PLAYING IN THE MORNING LIGHT JULIE AND JOE: OH, OH, OH, IT’S MAGIC, YOU KNOW NEVER BELIEVE IT’S NOT SO IT’S MAGIC, YOU KNOW NEVER BELIEVE IT’S NOT SO JULIE: I LOVE A SUNNY DAY DREAM OF FAR AWAY DREAMING ON MY PILLOW IN THE MORNING NEVER BEEN AWAKE NEVER SEEN A DAY BREAK LEANING ON MY PILLOW IN THE MORNING LIGHT JULIE AND JOE: OH, OH, OH, IT’S MAGIC, YOU KNOW NEVER BELIEVE IT’S NOT SO IT’S MAGIC, YOU KNOW NEVER BELIEVE IT’S NOT SO 38

OH, OH, OH, IT’S MAGIC, YOU KNOW NEVER BELIEVE IT’S NOT SO IT’S MAGIC, YOU KNOW NEVER BELIEVE IT’S NOT SO THE BIG MAN. Julie and Joe had a good thing going. Eventually, Joe’s mother and sister returned from Wisconsin, so Joe couldn’t see Julie quite as often, but they managed to meet almost every day. Pretty soon the weeks flew by, and the summer was over. Julie was getting ready to go off to college. As the day approached, both Julie and Joe became filled with anxiety. Joe was afraid he wouldn’t be able to see Julie anymore. And Julie had problems of her own. JULIE. Joe, I have some news. JOE. Yeah? JULIE. Please, Joe. Sit down. It’s very important. JOE. Okay. JULIE. This is very serious. JOE. What? JULIE. Joe. It’s a good thing. It’s very good. JOE. Spit it out! JULIE. Joe, please. Don’t make this any harder than it already is. JOE. Okay. I’m sorry. I’m listening. Go ahead. What is it? JULIE. Joe, I went to the doctor yesterday. JOE. You’re sick? JULIE. No, not really. JOE. That’s a relief. Then what is it? What’s going on? JULIE. Joe, I’m pregnant. JOE. What! JULIE. Do you want me to say it again? JOE. Damn it Julie! You said you were taking the pill! JULIE. And I was. I was taking it religiously! Okay, maybe that isn’t the right word. But the pill doesn’t work all the time. JOE. How could you do this? JULIE. Me? I think you had something to do with it too! JOE. I can’t say anything. I can’t even breathe. 39

JULIE. Joe, please. I need you. JOE. I’m sorry. I have to go. JULIE. Joe! Come back! Please! (Joe leaves Julie in tears. He runs from Julie’s house. He stops, overcome with emotion.) JOE. How could this happen? How could Julie do this? JOE: BLOWN ROUND BY THE WIND THROWN DOWN, DOWN IN A SPIN I GAVE YOU LOVE, I THOUGHT THAT WE HAD MADE IT TO THE TOP I GAVE YOU ALL I HAD TO GIVE, WHY DID IT HAVE TO STOP? YOU, YOU’VE BLOWN IT ALL SKY HIGH BY TELLING ME A LIE WITHOUT A REASON WHY YOU’VE BLOWN IT ALL SKY HIGH YOU, YOU’VE BLOWN IT ALL SKY HIGH, OUR LOVE HAD WINGS TO FLY. WE COULD HAVE TOUCHED THE SKY YOU’VE BLOWN IT ALL SKY HIGH (Joe slinks off, emotionally exhausted.) THE BIG MAN. I know what you’re thinking. How could Joe abandon the woman he loves like that? He has an excuse: he’s a dumb, stupid kid. I dig it, babies. Now, don’t get me wrong: you guys, listening to me, are all smart cookies. And you’d never do something as stupid as Joe and Julie. But it seems that Joe and Julie were not the only ones who had an ear in their conversation.

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RANCE. Can I come in? JULIE. Sure, daddy. RANCE. Julie, I heard the whole thing. JULIE. What whole thing? RANCE. Julie. I heard you talking to Joe. Was all that true? JULIE. Yes. RANCE. Good God, girl. I told you. I TOLD YOU, DAMN IT! JULIE. Daddy, please! RANCE. Oh no! No ‘Daddy please’ this time. You’re not getting off the hook on this one. JULIE. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. (Rance slaps her hard across the face, and she falls to the floor, sobbing.) JULIE. Daddy, I need help! Why won’t you help me? RANCE. I’m going to help you all right. We’re going to make sure you don’t have this baby. JULIE. Daddy no! RANCE. Oh yes. We’re going to the doctor first thing in the morning! And as for your little friend – JULIE. Daddy, you can’t stop me from loving him! In fact, we’re going to get married. RANCE. Not as long you’re living under my roof, young lady. JULIE. I’m going to be eighteen in three months. Then you’ll have no say in my life anymore. RANCE. We’ll see about that. Now, where did the little bastard go? JULIE. I don’t know. RANCE. Don’t give me that! Where did he go? JULIE. Daddy, please! I told you, I don’t know! He ran out of here! RANCE. Okay. Fine. Protect his miserable hide. I’ll find him. Wherever he is. (Rance leaves the room, and comes back immediately with a loaded shotgun.) 41

JULIE. Oh no! What are you going to with that? RANCE. Just going to pay your boyfriend a little visit. JULIE. Daddy, please don’t! It’s not Joe’s fault! I – promise, I won’t see him anymore. Just leave him alone. Please! RANCE. Just a little talk. Except, I’m going to make my statement with lead! You stay here. (Rance leaves the room and locks Julie inside. Julie, in tears, tries to open the door, but she can’t budge it. She pounds on the door in agony and frustration. Quickly, she runs for her telephone) JULIE. Oh God, please pick up, pick up! Hello, Joe! It’s me. No please Joe, don’t hang up! Listen, my father is coming over there! But Joe, he’s got a loaded gun with him. Yes, really! Get out of there! Run, hide! I don’t know, go to Jimmy’s house. Anywhere where he can’t find you! Okay. I love you too. Bye. (Julie hangs up the telephone.) JULIE. I’ve got to get over there. Somehow. I have to… (Julie tries to open the bedroom window, but it’s stuck. She picks up a chair and smashes her bedroom window. She then kicks out the remaining shards of glass and slithers out the window, grunting and whining.) THE BIG MAN. But Joe couldn’t run. And he couldn’t hide. He had to protect the woman he loved. He had to be right by her side. (Outside Julie’s house, Joe arrives just as Julie is about to make her way over to Joe’s house.) JULIE. Oh, God, Joe! You’re okay! JOE. Yes, I’m fine. Are you okay? What happened to your face? JULIE. It’s nothing. 42

JOE. He hit you! He hit his own flesh and blood! JULIE. Please, Joe. As long as you’re all right. That’s all I care about. (Suddenly, Rance appears out of nowhere, brandishing his shotgun.) RANCE. So, the two lovebirds. JULIE. Daddy. Please put down the gun. RANCE. Sure. I’ll put down the gun. As soon as I’m done using it. JULIE. Daddy, don’t. Don’t blame Joe for this. Both of us are responsible for what happened. JULIE. DADDY PLEASE DON’T, IT WASN’T HIS FAULT, HE MEANS SO MUCH TO ME DADDY PLEASE DON’T, WE’RE GONNA GET MARRIED, JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE JOE. SHE CALLED ME UP, LATE AT NIGHT, SHE SAID JOE, DON’T COME OVER MY DAD AND I JUST HAD A FIGHT, AND HE STORMED OUT THE DOOR I’VE NEVER SEEN HIM ACT THIS WAY, MY GOD, HE’S GOING CRAZY HE’S SAYS HE’S GONNA MAKE YOU PAY, FOR WHAT WE’VE DONE, HE’S GOT A GUN, SO, RUN, JOEY RUN, JOEY RUN JULIE. DADDY PLEASE DON’T, IT WASN’T HIS FAULT, HE MEANS SO MUCH TO ME DADDY PLEASE DON’T, WE’RE GONNA GET MARRIED, JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE JOE. I GOT IN MY CAR AND I DROVE LIKE MAD, TILL I REACHED JULIE’S PLACE 43

SHE RAN TO ME, WITH TEAR-FILLED EYES, AND BRUISES ON HER FACE, ALL AT ONCE, I SAW HIM THERE, SNEAKING UP BEHIND ME JULIE. WATCH OUT! JOE. THEN JULIE YELLED, JULIE. HE’S GOT A GUN! JOE. AND STEPPED IN FRONT OF ME, SUDDENLY, A SHOT RANG OUT, AND I SAW JULIE FALLING I RAN TO HER, I HELD HER CLOSE, WHEN I LOOKED DOWN, MY HANDS WERE RED, AND HERE ARE THE LAST WORDS JULIE SAID… JULIE. DADDY PLEASE DON’T, IT WASN’T HIS FAULT, HE MEANS SO MUCH TO ME DADDY PLEASE DON’T, WE’RE GONNA GET MARRIED, JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE ALL (sing): RUN JOEY RUN JOEY RUN JOEY RUN JOEY RUN JOEY RUN JOEY RUN JOE. You shot her. You killed her. (Rance does not respond. He continues weeping, with Julie in his arms. Joe leaves the scene and returns immediately, carrying his own gun.) JOE. I didn’t want to do this. But you left me no choice. You made me do this! (Rance looks up. He is still in shock, but a glimmer of recognition sweeps across his face. He goes to grab for his gun.) 44

RANCE. No. NO! (Joe closes his eyes, braces himself and fires. Rance falls back. Joe drops the gun in shock and runs away. Police and ambulance sirens are heard in the distance, and getting closer. Blackout. Lights come up on The Big Man.) THE BIG MAN. Well now. That was the end for our Joe Small. Or so he thought. Sheriff Baines picked him up on the way out of town. Joe was thrown in the clink. He’d knew he’d spend the rest of his life in jail. But then he caught a break. He was being transferred into Yellow River State Prison when one of the guards dropped dead of a heart attack. In the confusion, Joe made a break for it. And now he was on the run, the dogs right behind him. He knew he couldn’t go home. He headed straight for Mary Anne’s door. He knew Jimmy would be there. (We are at Mary Anne’s house. There is a panicked knock on the door. Jimmy, sleeping on the couch, gets up to get it.) JIMMY. Alright, I hear you! Where’s the fire? (Jimmy opens the door. Joe rushes in, looking disheveled and sweaty. He is babbling and almost crying throughout the scene.) JOE. Jim, I knew you’d be here. You gotta help me. You gotta! I’m dead! I’m dead! JIM. Slow down there, cowboy. One step at a time. What happened? JOE. He did it, Jim. He really did it. He shot Julie. JIM. Shot? Who shot her? What? Who? JOE. Her father, man. Rance Sherman. He shot her. JIM. What? Why? 45

JOE. Oh, Jim. It’s all my fault. He was aiming for me and she jumped in front of me to shield me from the bullet. This is crazy! JIM. Crazy. Yes. Good word. JOE. But that’s not all of it, Jim. That’s not all of it! JIM. Calm down, damn it! (Jim slaps Joe across the mouth. Joe curtails his near-weeping a bit. Jim grabs Joe by the shoulders to steady him.) JOE. Right. Sorry. I just – this is a nightmare, man. A real living nightmare. JIM. What. Else. Happened? JOE. He shot Julie. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t breathe. I got my dad’s gun out of the trunk of the car. JIM. Oh Joe. No. JOE. I grabbed the gun. It was like everything was moving in slow motion, man. Like my hands and my arms were moving all by themselves. Like I was a spectator, just watching a movie. I got the gun. I came back. He still had his gun. He had Julie in his arms. He was crying. He looked up, and I guess he saw me with the gun. JIM. Joe. Don’t tell me this. Please don’t tell me this happened. JOE. He pointed the gun at me, Jim. I had no choice. I didn’t know if it was still loaded. He could have killed me! So…I shot him. He fell back. He didn’t move after that. JIM. Joe, why? JOE. I had no choice man! It was him or me! (Mary Anne, clad in a bathrobe, enters from the bedroom.) JIM. Mary Anne! I – how much did you hear? MARY ANNE. Enough. I’m calling the police. JOE. Mary Anne please! No! I’ll be in jail for the rest of my life. JIM. He’s right, Mary Anne. Nobody will believe him when he says he shot in self-defense. The only two witnesses to what happened are dead. 46

MARY ANNE. Are the two of you insane? You have to report this. If you don’t go to the Police, I will. We’re talking about crimes here. Serious crimes. Mary Anne picks up the phone and begins dialing. JIM. Mary Anne! Don’t make me choose! She hesitates for a moment and puts down the receiver. Then she picks it up again and begins dialing. JOE. Help me, man. JIM. Help you? Do what? JOE. We have to get out of here, man. Just – get out of here until I can do some thinking. I need to lay low. Figure out what to say about this, what to do. MARY ANNE. Hello, police? (Jim carefully looks back and forth between Joe and Mary Anne. He makes his decision.) MARY ANNE. Yes, I’d like to report a shooting. JIM. Mary Anne – I’m sorry. Let’s go, man. JOE. Okay. Let’s move. JIM. We’ll take Mary Anne’s car. (Jim and Joe run out of the house. Mary Anne puts down the receiver and runs after them.) MARY ANNE. Jim don’t! No! (Mary Anne runs off. The cast returns to the stage for a final chorus.) ALL : RUN JOEY RUN JOEY RUN JOEY RUN JOEY RUN JOEY RUN JOEY RUN! (Police and ambulance sirens are heard in the distance, and getting closer. Blackout, Curtain.) END OF ACT I Intermission 47

ACT II (The front of a Chevy van. In disguise, Joe has cut his hair and grown a beard. Jimmy has grown a mustache. Joe is pasted to the steering wheel, his eyes glazed. Jimmy is dozing.) JOE. Hey. Wake up. How long have I been driving? JIMMY. What? JOE. I said, how long have I been driving? (Jimmy looks at his watch.) JIMMY. Let’s see. It’s noon. I guess it’s about six or seven hours. Where are we? JOE. I don’t know. I lost track in Tennessee. JIMMY. Let me take a look. I think I just saw a Georgia license plate. We must be in Georgia. (A moment of silence.) JOE. Where’d you get this van again? JIMMY. Isn’t it a great idea? We can just sleep right in the back. No chance of some nosy motel clerk making us. JOE. Where’d you get it? JIMMY. I borrowed it. JOE. Do you mean you borrowed it, or you “borrowed” it? JIMMY. Relax. It belongs to my great aunt. She doesn’t even drive it anymore. Besides, she’s so senile, it’ll be months before she realizes it’s gone. (Another uncomfortable silence.) JOE. How long are we on the road now? JIMMY. Today’s two months. JOE. I know they’re gonna find us eventually. I just know it.

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JIMMY. Will you relax? This is, what, the fifth car we’ve been driving? We’ve been on the road every day. There’s no way they’re going to get us. Let’s just keep moving. As long as we keep moving, they’ll have a harder time tracking us. JOE. Well, we can’t keep moving right now. JIMMY. Why? JOE. Almost out of gas. Keep an eye out for something. JIMMY. I think we’re coming into a little town. Yeah, there’s a sign. “Welcome To Pine Creek. Population 620.” JOE. And there’s a little general store. Just in time. (Joe pulls the van into the drive and stops in front of the gas pump. There is a country store festooned with various advertising signs. A screen door flaps in the breeze. Joe gets out of the van.) JOE. How much money we got left? JIMMY. We’re fine. I checked my stash. Still got over eight hundred. JOE. Good. I’ve got about four hundred. But that’s not going to last forever, you know. JIMMY. I know, I know. But we’ll figure something out, my man. Trust me. (An attractive girl, about Joe’s age, exits the store in a huff, screaming back inside. She is barefoot.) TRACY. It isn’t fair! You’re worse than the police! MAMA. You get back in here Tracy Travis. This second! TRACY. No! I will not! JIMMY. I think we came in right in the middle of something. JOE. Just ignore it, ignore it. TRACY. This sucks! MAMA. Tracy, you watch your mouth now! TRACY. I will not! I hate you! And I hate this store. And I hate this horrible little town! JOE. Uh, miss, could we get some gas? MAMA. How dare you! 49

TRACY. Go to hell, Mama! JOE. Uh, miss – TRACY. And tell Ricky Joe that I am not marrying him! JOE. Miss – TRACY. I’d sooner marry a prize pig. Hell, I’d rather marry a prize pig. At least that pig done won a prize! That’s more than Ricky Joe ever done in his sorry-ass life. JOE. Miss – TRACY. Oh for God’s sakes! Pump it your own self! (Tracy yanks the nozzle out of the pump and shoves it at Joe. He sticks the hose into the filler on the van.) JOE. If this isn’t a good time, we can head on out. TRACY. Oh don’t mind her. She’s always like this. JOE. I’m so glad. Otherwise I might be worried about – her. TRACY. Go ahead and pump your gas. Oh, we’ve had this same fight a hundred times. Honestly, that woman is stubborn as a mule, and almost as pretty. JIMMY. What’s it all about? TRACY. She wants me to marry this guy, Ricky Joe Shaver. Not likely. JIMMY. What’s the matter with him? JOE. Jim, please, let’s just get our gas, and – TRACY. Oh, nothing. Nothing that a full brain transplant wouldn’t cure. That boy is sharp as a tack, and just as smart. So, where you boys from? JIMMY. Oh, here and there. JOE. Jim, will you can it? TRACY. Here and there, huh? That’s somewhere I always wanted to go. JOE. Speaking of going – TRACY. Where you boys headed? JOE. Nowhere in particular. TRACY. That’s so funny. I always wanted to go there too. JOE. How much do we owe you for the gas? TRACY. Oh, my gosh. Can I go with you guys? 50

JIMMY. Sure! The more the merrier! JOE. Jim, I don’t think that’s a good idea – TRACY. This is so awesome! What are your names? JIM. I’m Jim, pleased to make your acquaintance. JOE. And my name’s Joe, but – TRACY. And my name’s Tracy. Tracy Travis. Joe, I can tell you’re the boss here. So I’ll leave it up to you. I really would like to go with you guys. What do you say? I’ll go with whatever you say. JOE. I don’t think we can – TRACY. Oh thank you! Thank you! I just have to get out of this little hole of a town. Since I graduated high school I’ve done nothing but work in this crummy little store. I don’t care where I go. Just anywhere else. I’ve always wanted to get out of this dump. I’ve seen so many places on T.V. but I ain’t never been anyplace. Except I been to Disney World once. But other than that, nowhere. (Tracy grabs Joe and hugs him in gratitude during this speech. Then, while still babbling, she runs inside and grabs a suitcase, which has already been packed ahead of time for just this situation.) TRACY. Got my suitcase. I’m all packed up. I won’t be any trouble, I promise. I’ll pay my own way, and I eat like a little bird, hardly nothing. Let’s go. JIM. You got any shoes in there? TRACY. Sure do! You guys ready? JOE. Look, I don’t think we have any room. (Tracy jumps into the back of the van, ignoring Joe. Joe can’t seem to say a word.) TRACY. Well, let’s go. What are you waiting for? MAMA. Tracy, you get in here! TRACY. Forget it, Mama. I’m leaving. MAMA. You’re leaving? What do you mean? 51

TRACY. I mean: goodbye, Mama. I’ll see you again. JIM. Come on, Joe. Let’s take off. JOE. I know I am going to regret this. (Jimmy and Joe jump into the van and take off.) TRACY. Bye Mama! (Tracy looks back and waves out the window.) JIM. You’ve been planning this for a while, haven’t you? TRACY. What makes you say that? JIM. Oh, I don’t know, maybe the packed suitcase? TRACY. You got me. So, where are we off to? New York? Hollywood? I’d even settle for Atlanta . JOE. We’re just trying to avoid – JIM. Society. We are avoiding all the plastic people and hassles of society. We just chucked it all, to go in search of the real America. TRACY. Oh cool! Like “Easy Rider,” right? I saw that down the drive-in. JIM. Exactly. We want to be just like the guys in “Easy Rider.” JOE. Uh, Jim. Those guys got blown up at the end. JIM. Okay, maybe not EXACTLY like those guys. But we’re just on the road for the duration. Right Joe? JOE. Yeah, that’s us. Just two wanderers. TRACY. Oughtn’t that be three wanderers? JIM. Yes. Three Wanderers. That’s us. THE BIG MAN. It looked like our two fugitives picked up some unwanted baggage. And in the process, dreamed up a cover story, going from two wanted fugitives to three roaming dropouts. But would Tracy Travis drag them down, or help them out of a jam? This question could only be answered with the passage of time. 52

JOE. What time is it? JIM. Almost midnight. JOE. What’s Tracy up to back there? JIM. She’s asleep. JOE. Good. JIM. So. When are you going to make your move? JOE. What move? JIM. To get with Tracy. JOE. I don’t think so. JIM. Why? What’s wrong with her? She’s pretty, man. She’s fun. She’s nice to both of us. She’s got a bit of a mouth, I know, but that’s no big deal. JOE. So why don’t you proposition her? JIM. Nah. She likes you more than me. I can tell. JOE. I know. And I like her, too. She’s a real kick. And if circumstances were different, who knows what could happen. JIM. If circumstances were different, we never would have even met her. JOE. I understand that. But I don’t want to get anything started with her, Jim. First I lose Lisa, then Julie. I don’t know if I could lose another one. JIM. That’s exactly why you have to get close to her. You need some relief from your pain. Just take it slow, man. You’ll figure it out. I think everything from now on is just one step at a time. JOE. You got that right. But she is something, man. (Joe looks over his shoulder at Tracy sleeping.) JOE. Just look at her laying there. The moonlight swimming through her hair like that. JOE. I GAVE A GIRL A RIDE IN MY WAGON SHE CRAWLED IN AND TOOK CONTROL 53

SHE WAS TIRED CAUSE HER MIND WAS A-DRAGGIN’ I SAID GET SOME SLEEP AND DREAM OF ROCK AND ROLL ‘CAUSE LIKE A PRINCESS SHE WAS LAYING THERE MOONLIGHT DANCING OFF HER HAIR SHE WOKE UP AND TOOK ME BY THE HAND SHE’S GONNA LOVE ME IN MY CHEVY VAN AND THAT’S ALL RIGHT WITH ME HER YOUNG FACE WAS LIKE THAT OF AN ANGEL HER LONG LEGS WERE TANNED AND BROWN BETTER KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD SON BETTER SLOW THIS VEHICLE DOWN ‘CAUSE LIKE A PRINCESS SHE WAS LAYING THERE MOONLIGHT DANCING OFF HER HAIR SHE WOKE UP AND TOOK ME BY THE HAND SHE’S GONNA LOVE ME IN MY CHEVY VAN AND THAT’S ALL RIGHT WITH ME I PICKED HER UP IN A TOWN THAT WAS SO SMALL YOU COULD THROW A ROCK FROM END TO END A DIRT-ROAD MAIN STREET, SHE WALKED UP IN BARE FEET I TOLD HER I WON’T BE PASSING THROUGH AGAIN ‘CAUSE LIKE A PRINCESS SHE WAS LAYING THERE MOONLIGHT DANCING OFF HER HAIR SHE WOKE UP AND TOOK ME BY THE HAND SHE’S GONNA LOVE ME IN MY CHEVY VAN AND THAT’S ALL RIGHT WITH ME ‘CAUSE LIKE A PRINCESS SHE WAS LAYING THERE MOONLIGHT DANCING OFF HER HAIR SHE WOKE UP AND TOOK ME BY THE HAND SHE’S GONNA LOVE ME IN MY CHEVY VAN AND THAT’S ALL RIGHT WITH ME 54

THE BIG MAN. As the Three Wanderers traveled around the country, making a point to stay away from Indiana, Joe and Tracy became a lot closer. And Jim encouraged them. Jim stayed a lone wolf, since he was hoping that one day he would see Mary Anne again. Tracy and Joe’s new love blossomed, in spite of the horrible secret Joe was keeping from Tracy. But it weighed down his mind, something big and heavy, man. So, one night, as the van was parked at the end of a dirt road in Arizona, Joe informed Tracy that he had something important to tell her. JOE. Tracy, I have something important to tell you. TRACY. What is it, Joe? JOE. I’ve been keeping something from now. But now that I know you well, I think I can tell. What your reaction will be, I can’t – Tracy, I’m trouble. Deep trouble. I’m not driving around the country for fun. I’m on the run from the police. TRACY. Tell me the truth now. What did you do? JOE. Now listen, Tracy, this is very important. It couldn’t be helped. TRACY. What couldn’t be helped? JOE. I did something to protect myself. To keep myself from being killed. TRACY. What? JOE. I shot someone, Tracy. But he already shot someone else, and he was going to shoot me! TRACY. And you killed him? JOE. Of course. TRACY. I don’t know, Joe. This is some heavy stuff. Why didn’t you go to the police? JOE. Because with the only witnesses dead, I was sure they wouldn’t believe my story. But you believe me, right? TRACY. You said, “witnesses.” Plural. JOE. Okay. Here’s the whole story. Man. 55

This is hard. You know I haven’t repeated this story to anyone, other than Jim. Here goes. Julie, my girlfriend, got pregnant. Her father got really freaked out about it. I mean, psychotic. She called me up, and said he was coming after me. With a gun. I went right over to her house to see if she was okay. Then, her father shows up, with his gun, and fires at me. She – I can’t do this. TRACY. No, Joe. Go on. JOE. She jumped in front of me. She took the bullet. TRACY. Oh my God. JOE. I got so freaked out. I went and got a gun from the trunk of my car. I wasn’t – I didn’t even know what I was going to do. TRACY. Yes? JOE. He still had the gun. He saw me coming, So he raised the gun at me. I had to shoot him. TRACY. Oh Joe. JOE. After that, I just ran out of there. We hit the road. TRACY. Joe. This is so sad. JOE. I know. And I didn’t want to tell you. But the more I got to know you, the more I felt that you deserved to know the truth. Now, if you can’t trust me anymore, I understand. I’ll give you some cash, and you can catch a bus back to Pine Creek. TRACY. But Joe, I don’t want to go back. I want to stay with you. JOE. Even with what I told you? TRACY. Yes, you did do something bad. Very bad. But you told me. That’s the important thing. I understand that you couldn’t share something like that with someone you didn’t know well. JOE. Exactly. So you trust me? TRACY. Of course. And I want to stay with you.

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JOE. Tracy, this is great. Because I don’t know what I would have done if you had left me. I would have been completely lost. TRACY. Well, you could have just gotten Jim to read the road maps for you. JOE. That’s not what I meant and you know that. TRACY. I know. JOE. Tracy, I’m very happy. You know how you make me feel. TRACY. Yes. But a girl doesn’t mind being told in detail. JOE. Okay then. JOE: BAH-BAH BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH BAH-BAH BAH-BAH BAH-BAH BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH TRACY WHEN I’M WITH YOU SOMETHING YOU DO BOUNCES ME OFF THE CEILING TRACY DAY AFTER DAY WHEN YOU’RE THIS WAY I GET A LOVING FEELING COME WITH ME DON’T SAY NO HOLD ME CLOSE TRACY NEVER LET ME GO TRACY YOU’RE GONNA BE HAPPY WITH ME I’LL BUILD A WORLD AROUND YOU FILLED WITH LOVE EVERYWHERE AND WHEN YOU’RE THERE YOU’LL BE SO GLAD I FOUND YOU

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COME WITH ME DON’T SAY NO HOLD ME CLOSE TRACY NEVER LET ME GO BAH-BAH BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH BAH-BAH BAH-BAH BAH-BAH BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH COME WITH ME DON’T SAY NO HOLD ME CLOSE TRACY NEVER, EVER, NEVER, LET ME GO (Back to the van, coasting down a two-lane highway. Joe is driving the van, with Tracy sleeping on his shoulder. Jimmy is sleeping behind them. Tracy begins to stir.) TRACY. What time is it? JOE. Good morning, sleepy. TRACY. Good morning, honey. I slept like a rock. JOE. And you kind of felt like one camped out on my arm all morning. (Tracy playfully elbows him in the ribs.) TRACY. Not funny. Really, do you know what time it is? JOE. About eleven in the morning. JIMMY. Could you keep it down up there? JOE. Wake up, you slime. JIMMY. All right. It’s getting hot in here anyway. JOE. Good morning. TRACY. Where are we? JOE. I don’t know. I’ve just been driving all night. All morning. TRACY. What direction? JOE. West. Haven’t seen a major town in two hours. JIMMY. What’s that up ahead? 58

TRACY. Is that a lake? JIMMY. No, actually I think it’s the Pacific Ocean. JOE. I think that means no more driving to the west. TRACY. Look at all the boats. JOE. I guess this is a seaport of some sort. JIMMY. I can’t even find it on the map. TRACY. It’s so pretty, y’all! JOE. I think this is about as far away from Indiana as we can get. JIMMY. Without driving into the ocean. JOE. Look, we’re very low on cash anyway. What do you say we park it right here and try to build up some savings before we move on? TRACY. Great. JIMMY. Sounds like a good idea to me. TRACY. So where to first? JOE. Well, we need to pick up on the local gossip. A bar is usually the best place to do that. JIMMY. Looks like there’s a place right over there. The sign says “The Crusty Barnacle.” JOE. Let’s go. (The three enter The Crusty Barnacle, the local tavern and sailor’s hangout. The tavern and everyone in it looks to be transported directly from a 19th century pirate story. There are many sailors hanging about, getting drunk between trips out to sea.) JOE. Would you look at this place. It’s like something out a Jack London novel. JIMMY. Or a pirate movie. TRACY. Or Disney World. Y’all, I just love that Pirates of the Caribbean ride. That song just stuck in my head for weeks. (The three of them sit down a rickety table. They are approached by a stereotypical sailor, physically ravaged by a life at sea.)

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SALTY. Hello there, young men, and lady. Welcome to The Crusty Barnacle. Salty’s the name, Salty Douglas. What brings you to these parts? JOE. Oh, you know. Looking for work. SALTY. Ever been to sea? JIMMY. To see what? SALTY. No! To the ocean. Sailing on the bounding main! JOE. I’ve been on the boat ride at the county fair. TRACY. I’ve never even been in a swimming pool. SALTY. Well, young’uns, if you’re up for it, there’s nothing like a life at sea. Plenty of fresh air, hard work, and high adventure. JOE. How’s the pay? SALTY. Honestly? JIMMY. Yeah. SALTY. You’re better off working at Wal-Mart. (BRANDY WINE appears, picking up glasses and serving drinks from behind the bar. She looks like and is dressed as the typical zaftig pirate wench.) JIMMY. Who’s that? SALTY. That’s Brandy. Brandy Wine. She owns this place. JOE. What a character. JIMMY. What a woman! TRACY. What a slut. JOE. Tracy! (Salty laughs heartily.) SALTY. No, that’s all right. She sure looks the part, I’ll give you that. But she keeps her heart for only one man. TRACY. So she’s married? SALTY. Oh, no. Her man is already married. TRACY. I told you she was a slut. SALTY. No girly. Her man is married…to the sea. ALL. (An exhalation of enlightenment) Ohhhhhh. 60

TRACY. So if her man is always away at sea, why doesn’t she just give up on him? SALTY. I can see you’ve never been in love, girl. But Brandy certainly has. Let me tell you all about it. (Salty gets up on the bar and starts singing, leading the other sailors in the bar in song. Brandy is serenaded.) SALTY: DIT-DIT-DIT-DIT-DIT, DIT-DIT-DIT-DIT-DIT THERE’S A PORT ON A WESTERN BAY AND IT SERVES A HUNDRED SHIPS A DAY LONELY SAILORS PASS THE TIME AWAY AND TALK ABOUT THEIR HOMES THERE’S A GIRL IN THIS HARBOR TOWN AND SHE WORKS LAYING WHISKEY DOWN THEY SAY ‘BRANDY, FETCH ANOTHER ROUND’ SHE SERVES THEM WHISKEY AND WINE THE SAILORS SAY SAILORS. ‘BRANDY, YOU’RE A FINE GIRL, (YOU’RE A FINE GIRL) WHAT A GOOD WIFE YOU WOULD BE’ (SUCH A FINE GIRL) YEAH, YOUR EYES COULD STEAL A SAILOR FROM THE SEA’ SALTY: BRANDY WEARS A BRAIDED CHAIN MADE OF FINEST SILVER FROM THE NORTH OF SPAIN A LOCKET THAT BEARS THE NAME OF THE MAN THAT BRANDY LOVES HE CAME ON A SUMMER’S DAY BEARING GIFTS FROM FAR AWAY BUT HE MADE IT CLEAR HE COULDN’T STAY THE HARBOR WAS NOT HIS HOME 61

THE SAILORS SAY SAILORS: ‘BRANDY, YOU’RE A FINE GIRL, (YOU’RE A FINE GIRL) WHAT A GOOD WIFE YOU WOULD BE’ (SUCH A FINE GIRL) YEAH, YOUR EYES COULD STEAL A SAILOR FROM THE SEA’ SALTY: YEAH BRANDY USED TO WATCH HIS EYES WHEN HE TOLD HIS SAILOR’S STORIES SHE COULD FEEL THE OCEAN FOAM RISE SHE COULD SEE ITS RAGING GLORY BUT HE HAD ALWAYS TOLD THE TRUTH, LORD, HE WAS AN HONEST MAN AND BRANDY DOES HER BEST TO UNDERSTAND AT NIGHT WHEN THE BARS CLOSE DOWN BRANDY WALKS THROUGH A SILENT TOWN AND LOVES A MAN WHO’S NOT AROUND SHE STILL CAN HEAR HIM SAY SHE HEARS HIM SAY SAILORS. ‘BRANDY, YOU’RE A FINE GIRL, (YOU’RE A FINE GIRL) WHAT A GOOD WIFE YOU WOULD BE’ (SUCH A FINE GIRL) BUT MY LIFE, MY LOVER, MY LADY, IS THE SEA’ BRANDY, YOU’RE A FINE GIRL (Everyone cheers and applauds. Salty gets down from the bar. Salty doffs his cap in tribute.) BRANDY. That was fantastic, Salty. SALTY. At your service, Miss Wine. Anytime. BRANDY. Now if you’d just pay your bar tab – 62

(The Sailors razz Salty and applaud and cheer. This is broken up by a hubbub in the tavern as the sailors note the arrival of local legend Captain Connelly, a burly man in a beard and traditional captain’s uniform. They all gather around him, cheering, slapping him on the back and shaking his hand.) JOE. Salty, who’s that? SALTY. Oh, that’s the legendary Captain Connelly. Probably the most famous sailor ‘round these parts. JOE. What makes him so famous? SALTY. Why he’s got more stories than you got hairs, boyo. He’s got into more scrapes than a boson’s knee. Hail, Captain Connelly! ALL. Hail! CAPTAIN CONNELLY. All right you scurvy laden sea dogs! Who’s up for some of that good local ale? ALL. Yeah! CONNELLY. Then have at it, my drunken mates. A round on me! To celebrate my safe return to this fair harbor! ALL. Hurrah! (BRANDY begins serving the sailors, who gather around the bar excitedly. CAPTAIN CONNELLY approaches SALTY.) CONNELLY. Well, Salty, it looks like you picked up a few new apprentices here, am I right? SALTY. Just a bunch of little puppies. Still wet behind the ears, I’d wager. CONNELLY. Captain Josiah Connelly at your service. And your monikers are? TRACY. Tracy Travis. Of Pine Creek, Georgia. CONNELLY. Georgia! It’s been a matter of years since I saw my favored Savannah. So lovely it is. Almost as lovely as you, lass. (CONNELLY takes her hand and kisses it gallantly.) TRACY: How gallant! 63

CONNELLY. My dear. And your friends? JOE. Joe S—Simon. JIMMY. Jimmy Miller. (They shake hands.) CONNELLY. A pleasure to make your acquaintance, fine young sirs. How did you all end up in this little seaport town? Do you have relations around here? JOE. No. Yes. (Simultaneously:) TRACY. Yes. No. JIMMY. No. Yes. CONNELLY. Okay, I give up. But once you get your stories straight, be sure and let me know what you’ve decided upon. BRANDY. I know I’m going to regret your answer to this question, but you’ve got the coin to cover this tab, don’t you, Connelly? CONNELLY. That and more! I intend to pay my outstanding bill by providing breathless entertainment for all those gathered around! BRANDY. I should have known. Well, Connelly, you know I can’t pay my mortgage with tall tales. CONNELLY. That’s enough out of you, woman. Everyone here, seafarer and landlubber alike, would be more than happy to hear my fantastic story of woe. Isn’t that right, mates? ALL. Yeah! BRANDY. All right then, have at it. You got a tale for us, Connelly? ALL. Yes, tell us! Etc. CONNELLY. All right, keep your shirts on. Not you, Brandy. (All the sailors crack up. BRANDY frowns and shakes her fist at them.)

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CONNELLY. I want to tell you all the story of the Juliet. She was a fishing trawler that disappeared ten years ago this very night. She had been known to moor in these parts. On that night though, she was pushing out of San Francisco with seventy-three hands aboard. She was last seen off of Pirate’s Rock. She never returned. SALTY. What happened to ‘er, Captain? CONNELLY. I’ll tell you. A more frightening tale you’ve never heard the like of. Brandy here knows the story, too. Help me out, Brandy. BRANDY. SEVENTY-THREE MEN SAILED UP FROM THE SAN FRANCISCO BAY ROLLED OFF OF THEIR SHIP AND HERE’S WHAT THEY HAD TO SAY CAPTAIN CONNELLY. WE’RE CALLING EVERYONE TO RIDE ALONG TO ANOTHER SHORE WE CAN LAUGH OUR LIVES AWAY AND BE FREE ONCE MORE BRANDY. BUT NO ONE HEARD THEM CALLING OUT, NO ONE CAME AT ALL CAUSE THEY WERE TOO BUSY WATCHING THOSE OLD RAINDROPS FALL CONNELLY. AS A STORM WAS BLOWING UP OUT ON THE PEACEFUL SEA SEVENTY-THREE MEN SAILED OFF INTO HISTORY ALL. RIDE, CAPTAIN RIDE, UPON YOUR MYSTERY SHIP BE AMAZED AT THE FRIENDS YOU HAVE HERE ON YOUR TRIP RIDE, CAPTAIN RIDE, UPON YOUR MYSTERY SHIP 65

ON YOUR WAY TO A WORLD THAT OTHERS MIGHT HAVE MISSED CONNELLY. SEVENTY THREE MEN SAILED UP FROM THE SAN FRANCISCO BAY ROLLED OFF OF THEIR SHIP AND HERE’S WHAT THEY HAD TO SAY BRANDY. WE’RE CALLING EVERYONE TO RIDE ALONG TO ANOTHER SHORE WE CAN LAUGH OUR LIVES AWAY AND BE FREE ONCE MORE CONNELLY. BUT NO ONE HEARD THEM CALLING OUT, NO ONE CAME AT ALL CAUSE THEY WERE TOO BUSY WARCHING THOSE OLD RAINDROPS FALL BRANDY. AS A STORM WAS BLOWING OUT ON THE PEACEFUL SEA SEVENTY-THREE MEN SAILED OFF INTO HISTORY ALL. RIDE, CAPTAIN RIDE, UPON YOUR MYSTERY SHIP BE AMAZED AT THE FRIENDS YOU HAVE HERE ON YOUR TRIP RIDE, CAPTAIN RIDE, UPON YOUR MYSTERY SHIP ON YOUR WAY TO A WORLD THAT OTHERS MIGHT HAVE MISSED JIMMY. What tragedies to bear, captain. TRACY. Were you on board the Juliet? CONNELLY. Yes, but luckily I was put ashore in Taipei for playing with the first mate’s dinghy. JOE. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. CONNELLY. Of course not. TRACY. I know I’d be in the hospital after that adventure. CONNELLY. From playing with a dinghy? TRACY. No, from the mental exhaustion. 66

CONNELLY. Oh. Well, you think that was bad? That ordeal was nothing but a little children’s fairy tale, ladies and gents. In all my days riding the green monster, I’ve survived much worse. In fact, I’m just back from being at sea. For the past month, I’ve had a horror of time. Somehow, we made it back to port. I can’t even figure out how! JOE. What happened, Captain? CONNELLY. More terrors than you’ve ever known, boy! There was a great and brutal storm. We barely survived! ALL. NO! CONNELLY. All our navigation equipment was washed overboard! ALL. WHAT! CONNELLY. Our motor was swamped! We were dead in the water! ALL. NO WAY! CONNELLY. Floating in the sea for weeks! Doomed! ALL. THE DEUCE YOU SAY! CONNELLY. The men were scared for their lives. I had to put down a mutiny! ALL. ARGHHH!! CONNELLY. And that’s not all! Here’s what it was like. CAPTAIN CONNELLY. EVERYBODY, LISTEN TO ME, AND RETURN ME, MY SHIP I’M YOUR CAPTAIN, I’M YOUR CAPTAIN, THOUGH I’M FEELING MIGHTY SICK I’VE BEEN LOST NOW, DAYS UNCOUNTED, AND IT’S MONTHS SINCE I’VE SEEN HOME CAN YOU HEAR ME, CAN YOU HEAR ME, OR AM I ALL ALONE? IF YOU RETURN ME, TO MY HOME PORT, I WILL KISS YOU, MOTHER EARTH TAKE ME BACK NOW, TAKE ME BACK NOW 67

TO THE PORT OF MY BIRTH AM I IN MY CABIN DREAMING, OR ARE YOU REALLY SCHEMING, TO TAKE MY SHIP AWAY FROM ME? YOU’D BETTER THINK ABOUT IT, I JUST CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT, SO PLEASE DON’T TAKE MY SHIP FROM ME YEAH YEAH YEAH I CAN FEEL THE HAND, OF A STRANGER, AND IT’S TIGHTENING, AROUND MY THROAT HEAVEN HELP ME, HEAVEN HELP ME, TAKE THIS STRANGER FROM MY BOAT I’M YOUR CAPTAIN, I’M YOUR CAPTAIN THOUGH I’M FEELING MIGHTY SICK EVERYBODY, LISTEN TO ME AND RETURN ME TO MY SHIP ALL. I’M YOUR CAPTAIN, YEAH YEAH YEAH I’M YOUR CAPTAIN, YEAH YEAH YEAH (REPEAT) ALL. I’M GETTING CLOSER TO MY HOME I’M GETTING CLOSER TO MY HOME (REPEAT) (The cast raises their arms above their heads, locks arms, sways slowly from side to side and holds lighters above their heads while repeating until the ending of the song.) TRACY. Joe, I really like this place. BRANDY. You do, girl? TRACY. Oh yes. I’ve never been anywhere like this before. 68

BRANDY. I overheard you were looking for work. It just so happens that I’m looking for some help around here. Have you ever waitressed before? TRACY. No, but I’ve run a general store. BRANDY. Close enough! You’ve got work, if you want it. TRACY. Joe? What do you think? JOE. I’m all for it. If you want to do it, then grab it. TRACY. Do I want to do it? Oh my gosh! Just working here, I could gather up enough stories to fill two books! Brandy, I’ll do it! BRANDY. Great. Get behind the bar and start washing glasses. TRACY. Yes, ma’am. JOE. That was fast. JIM. I’ll say. It’s funny how fate turns on a dime like that sometimes. (A messenger in an old fashioned telegram boy uniform enters the tavern, brandishing a yellow envelope.) MESSENGER. Telegram for Jimmy Barrett. Is there a Jimmy Barrett here? Telegram for Jimmy Barrett. JIM. What? That’s me. Who could have known that I was here? TRACY. I thought your name was Jimmy Miller. JOE. Oh yeah. Forgot. We gave you fake names. TRACY. Is there anything else you haven’t told me? Like you’re really a woman? Wait a minute, I know that can’t be true. MESSENGER. Jimmy Barrett? Here you go, sir. (The messenger presents the envelope rather grandly. Jimmy takes it from him. The messenger extends his hand, palm open, and clears his throat.) MESSENGER. Rmmmph. JIMMY. You need something? MESSENGER. Any tip? JIMMY. You want a tip? Yeah, here’s a tip, man. You look like a monkey in that outfit. Get a better job. 69

(The petulant messenger stomps his feet and leaves the tavern. Jimmy rips open the envelope.) JIMMY. It’s from Mary Anne! JOE. How did she find us? JIMMY. Hell if I know. That’s one resourceful woman, I’ll tell you what. Dear Jimmy: I know you probably are somewhere on the West Coast – JOE. How did she know we were on the West Coast? JIMMY. I told her a bunch of times that I always wanted to go to the West coast. I didn’t think I’d end up here though. Anyway – you are probably somewhere on the West Coast, so I tried sending a telegram to every business within sight of the Pacific Ocean. JOE. That must have cost a pretty penny. JIMMY. No, her dad works for the telegram company, remember? JOE. Oh, right. JIMMY. Anyway – sight of the Pacific Ocean. Please contact me. There is a lot of news. Julie is fine. Her wounds have healed and she is already out of the hospital. She is now five months pregnant. She wants to see Joe as soon as possible. JOE. What! JIMMY. I’m not making this up! – Her father is not doing as well, and is still in the hospital, but he will probably make a full recovery also. Joe, are you hearing this? They’re both alive! JOE. I hear it, but I can’t believe it. TRACY. Joe, this is great! JIMMY. Sheriff Baines has promised to recommend leniency if you and Jimmy both turn yourselves in. Jimmy, I can’t wait to see you again – Joe, we’re practically in the clear! JOE. Great, yes, but we’ll probably still go to jail. JIMMY. Yeah, but, you were looking at a murder charge before. Now, who knows. We might be out of jail in a couple of years! 70

JOE. We’ve got to go back to Yellow River. Clean up this mess. Tracy – TRACY. I know, Joe. You don’t have to ask me. You need to do this. I’ll be fine here. JOE. I’m sorry, Tracy. If things were different – TRACY. But, Joe. They are different. You’ve got a chance at getting your life back. That’s more than a lot of people get. (Joe kisses Tracy on the cheek.) JOE. Hey everyone, listen to this! The love of my life, the father of my child, my Julie is still alive! I thought she was dead, but she isn’t! ALL. Hurray! JIMMY. And I’m going home to see my sweet Mary Anne. I didn’t know if I would ever see her again either. ALL. Huzzah! JIMMY. But you and me are doing it, man. (Jimmy and Joe shake hands vigorously.) JIMMY. We’re going home. I can’t wait to see my sweet Mary. JIMMY. SWEET MARY SENT A LETTER TO ME SHE SAID TO HURRY HOME I NEED YOU RIGHT AWAY I’VE GOT A STOMACH FULL OF LOVE AND I’M ALL ALONE HURRY TODAY SWEET MARY I’M COMING HOME COMING HOME TO YOU SWEET MARY I’M COMING HOME THAT’S THE LEAST I CAN DO

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SWEET MARY IN THAT LETTER TO ME SHE SAID IT’S UP TO YOU I NEED YOU RIGHT AWAY AND NOW I GOT TO HOP A FREIGHT YOU KNOW I’VE GOT TO SLEEP SWEET MARY I’M COMING HOME COMING HOME TO YOU SWEET MARY I’M COMING HOME THAT’S THE LEAST I CAN DO CHK-A CHK-A CHK-A CHA HOP A FREIGHT CHK-A CHK-A CHK-A CHA HOP A FREIGHT CHK-A CHK-A MARY I’M COMING HOME YEAH MARY I’M COMING CHK-A CHK-A CHK-A CHA HOP A FREIGHT CHK-A CHK-A CHK-A CHA HOP A FREIGHT CHK-A CHK-A MARY I’M COMING HOME WELL MARY I’M COMING SWEET MARY HAS A SMILE ON HER FACE YOU KNOW SHE’S HAPPY TO SEE ME I ONLY HOPE THAT WITH THE PASSING OF TIME SHE’LL ALWAYS FEEL THAT WAY I WON’T PACK UP MY DREAMS SWEET MARY I’M COMING HOME COMING HOME TO YOU SWEET MARY I’M COMING HOME THAT’S THE LEAST I CAN DO CHK-A CHK-A CHK-A CHA HOP A FREIGHT CHK-A CHK-A CHK-A CHA HOP A FREIGHT CHK-A CHA MARY I’M COMING HOME YEAH MARY I’M COMING 72

CHK-A CHK-A CHK-A CHA HOP A FREIGHT CHK-A CHK-A CHK-A CHA HOP A FREIGHT CHK-A CHA MARY I’M COMING HOME WELL MARY I’M COMING HOME JOE. I can’t believe it! I’m going to see Julie again. This is too good to be true! Could it even BE true? JIM. I think it is, my friend. I’m going to see Mary Anne. If she’ll want to see me, that is. JOE. Don’t worry about that, man. Everything’s going to be fine now, I can feel it. It’s all going to work out. JIM. How can you know that? JOE. Because, Jim, Julie was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I mean, before I was with her, it’s like I was missing a part of myself. Just floating through life, with no direction. Aimless. JOE: A POEM WITH NO RHYME A CA-LOCK WITHOUT TIME (Joe picks up a model ship sitting on the bar.) A SHIP WITHOUT SAILS JUST DRIFTING ON THE WATER THAT’S JUST HOW I FEEL WHENEVER SHE’S GONE THAT’S JUST HOW I FEEL MY LIFE’S UNREAL BUT I GO ON (AND ON) I WAIT TILL JULIE COMES AROUND AND SINGS A HAPPY SONG OF SUMMER (JULIE COMES AROUND) AND LIFTS MY SPIRITS UP AND FILLS MY FOOLISH MIND WITH WONDER (JULIE COMES AROUND) 73

SHE SMILES A GENTLE SMILE AND SUDDENLY I GET THAT FEELING AND THEN… I’M INSIDE OUT WITH LOVE CAUSE JULIE’S COME AROUND AGAIN SHE’S JUST LIKE A BIRD SHE FOLLOWS THE SUN (OO OO OO OO) SHE SPREADS OUT HER WINGS AND ONCE AGAIN SHE LEAVES ME IT’S ALWAYS THE SAME (AH AH AH AH) I’M BROKEN IN TWO (AH AH AH AH) BUT AFTER A WHILE I ALWAYS KNOW WHAT I MUST DO I’LL WAIT TILL JULIE COMES AROUND AND SINGS A HAPPY SONG OF SUMMER (JULIE COMES AROUND) AND LIFTS MY SPIRITS UP AND FILLS MY FOOLISH MIND WITH WONDER (JULIE COMES AROUND) SHE SMILES A GENTLE SMILE AND SUDDENLY I GET THAT FEELING AND THEN… I’M INSIDE OUT WITH LOVE CAUSE JULIE’S COME AROUND AGAIN WHEN JULIE COMES AROUND AND SINGS A HAPPY SONG OF SUMMER (JULIE COMES AROUND) AND LIFTS MY SPIRITS UP AND FILLS MY FOOLISH MIND WITH WONDER (JULIE COMES AROUND) SHE SMILES A GENTLE SMILE AND SUDDENLY I GET THAT FEELING AND THEN I’M INSIDE OUT WITH LOVE CAUSE JULIE’S COME AROUND AGAIN 74

BRANDY. You gentlemen don’t worry about your lady friend here. We’ll take care of her. But I think you’ve got the right idea. You guys need to go home. You’re still young. You’ve got time to fix your mistakes. Me, I’m too old. But you still have a chance to make right what was made wrong. Please, do it for me. JIMMY. Okay, Brandy. We’ll remember what you said. TRACY. You’d better. What’s Mary Anne like, Jimmy? You haven’t talked about her. JIMMY. I dig her, you know. She’s really sweet. But she had a really bad childhood. As soon as I found out she had such a horrible time growing up, I thought I would try and make her life as good as I could now. Guess I messed up on that score. I wouldn’t be surprised now if she didn’t want anything to do with me. TRACY. Give her a chance, Jimmy. She just might give you one. SALTY. Kid, it sounds like you’ve a great little lady waiting for you. Don’t disappoint her again. BRANDY. JUST SEVENTEEN EVERYTHING THAT YOU’VE SEEN IT’S ALL THERE IN HER EYES SO MANY YEARS OF HER POOR MAMA’S TEARS AND HER DADDY’S SWEET LIES THERE’S NOBODY HOME MARY-ANNE IS ALONE ALMOST FULLY GROWN AND WORRYING THE WHYS SALTY. JIMMY’S BEEN DOWN HE’S BEEN OUT AND AROUND AND HE KNOWS WHERE IT’S AT LOVE TO BE GOOD IF HE THOUGHT THAT HE COULD BUT IT ISN’T LIKE THAT HE DON’T MAKE MISTAKES 75

WHAT HE MAKES HE TAKES JIMMY GETS ALL THE BREAKS CAUSE HE KNOWS HOW ALL. JIMMY LOVES MARY ANNE JIMMY WANTS TO BE HER MAN JIMMY LOVES MARY ANNE SHE THINKS IT’S ALL RIGHT BRANDY. SHE’S NOT ALONE BUT SHE PICKS UP THE PHONE AND HEARS JIMMY SAY MARY I’M BEAT I’M SO SICK OF THE STREETS AND THE RUNNING AWAY THERE’S NO LIFE HERE AT ALL THE CITY SEEMS SO SMALL SWEETER MUSIC IS CALLING ME TODAY, LET IT PLAY ALL. JIMMY LOVES MARY ANNE JIMMY WANTS TO BE HER MAN JIMMY LOVES MARY ANNE SHE THINKS IT’S ALL RIGHT SALTY. THIS BIG DOLLAR TOWN CAN DRAG YOU RIGHT DOWN IF YOU GO IT ALONE EVEN THE STRONG DON’T SURVIVE VERY LONG WHEN THEY’RE OUT ON THEIR OWN JIMMY KNOWS IT’S TRUE BRANDY. MARY ANNE KNOWS IT TOO THEY CAN SEE EACH OTHER THROUGH IF THEY HOLD ON ALL. JIMMY LOVES MARY ANNE JIMMY WANTS TO BE HER MAN JIMMY LOVES MARY ANNE SHE THINKS IT’S ALL RIGHT 76

JIMMY LOVES MARY ANNE JIMMY WANTS TO BE HER MAN JIMMY LOVES MARY ANNE SHE THINKS IT’S ALL RIGHT JOE. Jimmy, we’d better set out right away. JIMMY. Yes, sir. Time’s a wasting. Let’s hit the road. JOE. Wait a minute, Jim. I just want one last look. This is a really neat place. Too bad we couldn’t stay any longer. JIMMY. I know what you mean, man. But I think we both knew that running wasn’t going to work out. We need to go home. Take care, everyone. JOE. And take good care of Tracy here. We’re on our way home. To Yellow River. ALL. Bye! Take care! Etc. JIMMY AND JOE. SO LONG BOY YOU CAN TAKE MY PLACE GOT MY PAPERS I GOT MY PAY SO PACK MY BAGS AND I’LL BE ON MY WAY TO YELLOW RIVER PUT MY GUNS DOWN THE WAR IS WON FILL MY GLASS HIGH THE TIME HAS COME I’M GOING BACK TO THE PLACE THAT I LOVE YELLOW RIVER YELLOW RIVER, YELLOW RIVER IS IN MY MIND AND IN MY EYES YELLOW RIVER, YELLOW RIVER IS IN MY BLOOD, IT’S THE PLACE I LOVE GOT NO TIME FOR EXPLANATIONS GOT NO TIME TO LOSE TOMORROW NIGHT YOU’LL FIND ME SLEEPING UNDERNEATH THE MOON AT YELLOW RIVER 77

CANNON FIRE LINGERS IN MY MIND I’M SO GLAD THAT I’M STILL ALIVE AND I’VE BEEN GONE FOR SUCH A LONG TIME FROM YELLOW RIVER I REMEMBER THE NIGHTS WERE COOL I CAN STILL SEE THE WATER POOL AND I REMEMBER THE GIRL THAT I KNEW IN YELLOW RIVER YELLOW RIVER, YELLOW RIVER IS IN MY MIND AND IN MY EYES YELLOW RIVER, YELLOW RIVER IS IN MY BLOOD, IT’S THE PLACE I LOVE GOT NO TIME FOR EXPLANATIONS GOT NO TIME TO LOSE TOMORROW NIGHT YOU’LL FIND ME SLEEPING UNDERNEATH THE MOON AT YELLOW RIVER YELLOW RIVER, YELLOW RIVER IS IN MY MIND AND IN MY EYES YELLOW RIVER, YELLOW RIVER IS IN MY BLOOD, IT’S THE PLACE I LOVE (Blackout. As the lights come up, Joe and Jimmy appear, disheveled and dragging their feet.) JOE. How long we been walking now? JIMMY. Two hours. JOE. Fine time for the van to break down. JIMMY. At least we made this far. Let’s go into this diner here, see if we can scare up a mechanic.

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(Joe and Jimmy enter the diner. A sign indicates, “Jackie’s Diner.” A couple of the local grizzled townsfolk are hanging around, drinking coffee, including ROSCOE, a disheveled old man.) JOE. Hello? Anybody here? JIM. Hello? JACKIE. I’m coming, take it easy. (JACKIE BLUE, a sleazy, predatory young woman, appears from the kitchen) JIM. Are you Jackie? JACKIE. Sure am, honey. My, you two are cute. A little dirty, but cute. So, what can I fix for you boys? JOE. Actually, we need to use a phone. Our van broke down about five miles down the highway. JACKIE. Sure thing, sweet cakes. Right through that door there, go down to the end of the hall. That’s my bedroom. Just go on in there. There’s a card for Billy, the mechanic, on the wall, right by the phone. (Joe exits. Jimmy sizes up Jackie.) JACKIE. So, what’s your friend’s story? He’s kind of hot. JIMMY. Hot? Him? Oh no, you’re wrong. I’m the hot one. JACKIE. Is that so? JIMMY. Oh yeah, he wouldn’t do you any good. He just got back from Vietnam. Big injury. JACKIE. Oh, I’m so sorry. JIMMY. Yeah. Major injury. He got it shot off. JACKIE. He got what shot off? JIMMY. You know. It. (Jackie gasps and covers her mouth.) JACKIE. Really? Oh, that poor boy. And you’re taking him home, huh? 79

JIMMY. Well, he’s a friend, you know. I want to support him In his time of tragedy. That’s what friends do. JACKIE. Yeah, you’re a good friend. I can see that. JIMMY. I’m Jimmy. Jimmy Belmont. JACKIE. Jackie Blue. JIMMY. Glad to meet you, Jackie. (Jimmy and Jackie shake hands, exchange smiles.) JACKIE. Would you look at that, we’ve got the same initials! JIMMY. Real cool. You know, maybe I ought to check on Joe back there, see if he’s okay. JACKIE. He’s fine. There’s nothing back there but my bedroom. JIMMY. Oh really? I might have to see that. (Joe returns from the bedroom.) JIMMY. Great timing, dude. JOE. I’m back. I called this guy Billy Palmer. He said he’d be over here in a few minutes. Was that the right guy? JACKIE. Yes, that’s the man. JOE. It’s just that you had so many phone numbers of guys hanging on your wall. JACKIE. Yes, I’m very popular around here. But Billy is the man you need. He’ll get the job done. He always fixes my chassis. Listen – Joe is it? – I’m so sorry. JOE. Yeah, it’s a bummer when your car breaks down. JACKIE. No, not that. I mean, your – you know. JOE. Huh? JACKIE. Your – injury. JOE. What injury? JACKIE. Oh, okay. I see. He’s in denial. JIMMY. That happens sometimes. JOE. What? JIMMY. Cool it, dude. I’m making progress here. So anyway, Jackie. I’d still like that tour of your bedroom. JACKIE. Sure, I’ll give you the nickel tour. 80

JIMMY. A nickel, huh? I’m getting off cheap. JACKIE. In more ways than one. (Jackie leads Jimmy into the back. Joe shakes his head.) JOE. What an ass. So typical of Jim. But I can’t blame him, that’s like blaming the dog for making a mess on the carpet. It’s just in his nature. But that Jackie. I don’t get her. That woman must be hurt bad inside. JOE. OOH, JACKIE BLUE LIVES HER LIFE FROM INSIDE A ROOM HIDES HER SMILE WHEN SHE’S WEARING A FROWN OOH, JACKIE, YOU’RE NOT SO DOWN YOU LIVE YOU LIFE IN A FREE-FORM STYLE YOU TAKE AN INCH BUT YOU’D LOVE A MILE THERE NEVER SEEMS TO BE QUITE ENOUGH FLOATING AROUND TO FILL YOUR LOVING CUP OOH, JACKIE BLUE WHAT’S A GAME GIRL, IF YOU NEVER LOSE ASK A WINNER AND YOU’LL PROBABLY FIND OOH JACKIE, YOU LOST IT SOME TIME. DON’T TRY TO TELL ME THAT YOU’RE NOT AWARE OF WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND THAT YOU DON’T CARE YOU SAY IT’S EASY JUST A NATURAL THING LIKE PLAYING MUSIC BUT YOU NEVER SING

OOH, JACKIE BLUE MAKING WISHES THAT NEVER COME TRUE GOING PLACES THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN OOH JACKIE, YOU’RE GOING AGAIN 81

OOH, JACKIE BLUE LIVES A DREAM THAT CAN NEVER COME TRUE MAKING LOVE IS LIKE SIFTING THROUGH SAND OOH JACKIE, IT SLIPS THROUGH YOUR HAND. EVERYDAY, IN YOUR INDIGO EYES I WATCH THE SUN SET BUT I DON’T SEE IT RISE MOONLIGHT AND STARS IN YOUR STRAWBERRY WINE YOU’D TAKE THE WORLD BUT YOU WON’T TAKE THE TIME OOH, JACKIE BLUE, LIVES HER LIFE FROM INSIDE OF A ROOM MAKES YOU THINK THAT HER LIFE IS A DRAG OOH JACKIE, IS IT SO BAD? OOH, JACKIE OOH, JACKIE OOH, JACKIE OOH, JACKIE HEY HEY HEY HEY (Blackout. After a period of time, Jimmy returns from the bedroom, adjusting his clothing.) JOE. About time. You were back there for almost an hour! JIMMY. Really? JOE. Yeah! JIMMY. Damn, I’m good. (Jackie comes out from the back wearing a silk dressing gown.) JACKIE. Take one “o” out of that, and you’re getting close. (BILLY PALMER, a well-built young dude in greasy mechanic’s overalls, enters the diner.) BILLY. Hey gents. Billy Palmer. Glad to meet you. JOE. Billy, I’m Joe, and this is Jimmy. 82

BILLY. Hey. Was that your van down the road a ways? White Chevy Van with blue striping? JOE. Yeah, that was it. BILLY. You’re all set. JOE. We’re all set? What was wrong with it? BILLY. Just a busted hose. I threw a new one on there. You’re ready to go. The van’s right outside. JIMMY. That’s great, man! How much do we owe? BILLY. Nothing man, it was my pleasure. JOE. Are you kidding? BILLY. Of course I’m kidding! Fifty bucks. (The crowd laughs. Joe pulls out fifty bucks and jams it into Billy’s hand.) JACKIE. Good one, Billy. BILLY. Call me Willy. Little Willy. JACKIE. Little Willy? That’s the least appropriate nickname I’ve ever heard. BILLY. It’s ironic, Jackie. You know, like Curly, from the Three Stooges, who was bald? JACKIE. I get it. Okay then. No matter what I have to call you, Honey, you’re still the king. ALL (except Billy). NORTH SIDE, EAST SIDE LITTLE WILLY, WILLY WEARS THE CROWN, HE’S THE KING AROUND TOWN DANCING, GLANCING WILLY DRIVES THEM SILLY WITH HIS STAR SHOE SHIMMY SHUFFLE DOWN WAY PAST ONE, FEELING ALRIGHT CAUSE WITH LITTLE WILLY ROUND THEY CAN LAST ALL NIGHT HEY NOW, STAY DOWN, STAY DOWN, DOWN CAUSE LITTLE WILLY WILLY WON’T GO HOME BUT YOU CAN’T PUSH WILLY ROUND 83

WILLY WON’T GO TRY TELLING EVERYBODY BUT, OH NO, LITTLE WILLY WILLY WON’T GO HOME UP TOWN, DOWN TOWN LITTLE WILLY, WILLY DRIVES THEM WILD WITH HIS RUN-AROUND STYLE INSIDE, OUTSIDE WILLY SENDS THEM SILLY WITH HIS STAR SHINE SHIMMY SHUFFLE SMILE MAMA DONE CHASED WILLY DOWN THROUGH THE HALL BUT LAUGH, WILLY LAUGH, HE DON’T CARE AT ALL HEY NOW, STAY DOWN, STAY DOWN, DOWN CAUSE LITTLE WILLY WILLY WON’T GO HOME BUT YOU CAN’T PUSH WILLY ROUND WILLY WON’T GO TRY TELLING EVERYBODY BUT, OH NO, LITTLE WILLY WILLY WON’T GO HOME LITTLE WILLY, WILLY WON’T WILLY WON’T, WILLY WON’T LITTLE WILLY, WILLY WON’T WILLY WON’T WILLY WON’T LITTLE WILLY, WILLY WON’T WILLY WON’T WILLY WON’T LITTLE WILLY, WILLY WON’T WILLY WON’T WILLY WON’T LITTLE WILLY WILLY WON’T GO HOME BUT YOU CAN’T PUSH WILLY ROUND WILLY WON’T GO TRY TELLING EVERYBODY BUT, OH NO, LITTLE WILLY WILLY WON’T GO HOME JACKIE. You’re still the king, baby. Everybody here loves you! BILLY. That’s just the problem, Jackie. 84

JACKIE. What. BILLY. Everybody here. I want to get out of this little town, see the world. Make my scratch in the dirt. JACKIE. What do you mean, Billy? BILLY. Jackie, everyone. I might as well tell you know. I’m joining the Army. JACKIE. Billy, no! BILLY. Yes. I am. I’m shipping out to basic training. Next stop: Vietnam. JACKIE. But, Billy, you can’t do it! What will your fiancée say? BILLY. I already told Sally about it. She’s on board. I mean, she wasn’t happy about, but she knows that I have to do this. JACKIE. But Billy, that war is a lost cause. BILLY. They just haven’t had me on the job yet. JACKIE. Billy. You can’t win the entire Vietnam war by yourself. Don’t do it, Billy. ROSCOE. Yeah, Billy, don’t be a hero! (SALLY, Billy’s fiancée, enters the diner and joins in with the song.) JIMMY AND JOE. THE MARCING BAND CAME DOWN ALONG MAIN STREET THE SOLDIER BLUES FELL IN BEHIND I LOOKED ACROSS AND THERE I SAW BILLY WAITING TO GO AND JOIN THE LINE AND WITH HER HEAD UPON HIS SHOULDER HIS YOUNG AND LOVELY FIANCEE FROM WHERE I STOOD, I SAW SHE WAS CRYING AND THROUGH HER TEARS I HEARD HER SAY SALLY. BILLY, DON’T BE A HERO, DON’T BE A FOOL WITH YOUR LIFE BILLY DON’T BE A HERO, COME BACK AND MAKE ME YOUR WIFE

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JIMMY AND JOE. AND AS HE STARTED TO GO, SHE SAID SALLY. BILLY KEEP YOUR HEAD LOW, BILLY, DON’T BE A HERO, COME BACK TO ME. JIMMY AND JOE. THE SOLDIER BLUES WERE TRAPPED ON A HILLSIDE THE BATTLE RAGING ALL AROUND THE SERGEANT CRIED “WE’VE GOT TO HANG ON, BOYS, WE’VE GOT TO HOLD THIS PIECE OF GROUND. I NEED A VOLUNTEER TO RIDE UP AND BRING US BACK SOME EXTRA MEN” AND BILLY’S HAND WAS UP IN A MOMENT FORGETTING ALL THE WORDS SHE SAID SALLY. BILLY, DON’T BE A HERO, DON’T BE A FOOL WITH YOUR LIFE BILLY DON’T BE A HERO, COME BACK AND MAKE ME YOUR WIFE JIMMY AND JOE. AND AS HE STARTED TO GO, SHE SAID SALLY. BILLY KEEP YOUR HEAD LOW, BILLY, DON’T BE A HERO, COME BACK TO ME. JIMMY. I HEARD HIS FIANCEE GOT A LETTER THAT TOLD HOW BILLY DIED THAT DAY THE LETTER SAID THAT HE WAS A HERO SHE SHOULD BE PROUD HE DIED THAT WAY I HEARD SHE THREW THE LETTER AWAY BILLY. Listen, everyone, I appreciate your concern. I know the risk I’m taking. But sometimes in life, you just have to take risks. Right? JOE. Six months ago, Billy, I would have said you were wrong about that. Now, I’m not so sure. JIMMY. So, you’re sure about this then? 86

BILLY. Yes. I’m sure. JOE. You take care of yourself Billy. You’ll be fine. JACKIE. Oh my God! Don’t listen to him Billy. He just got back from Vietnam. He has a horrible genital injury! JOE. WHAT! JACKIE. Your friend told me all about it. JOE. Jimmy, what did you tell her? JIMMY. Wow, is it late! We’d better get going. JACKIE. It’s okay, Joe. Jimmy told me “it” got shot off. JOE. Is this true? JIMMY. Yes, it is true. You had your dick shot off. Now let’s go! (Jimmy and Joe exit the diner, with the others waving them goodbye. Blackout.) (Some time later. It is late at night. Jimmy and Joe are riding in the van. Joe is asleep in the back.) JIMMY. Man, am I tired. Joe’s sleeping like a rock. I’d give anything to be able to talk to somebody. That would keep me awake. Hey, look! A hitchhiker! (Jimmy pulls over and lets the hitchhiker get in. This is TIMOTHY CARTER, a creepy dude with crazy eyes, wearing a denim jacket and a red t-shirt. Jimmy doesn’t seem to notice anything strange about him. Did I mention that he’s really creepy?) TIMOTHY. Thanks for stopping. JIMMY. Sure man. I just wanted someone to talk to. I’m so tired I was afraid I was going to drive off the road. TIMOTHY. Yes. You look tired. Dead tired. JIMMY. Yeah, tell me about it. So, where you headed? TIMOTHY. I’m going all the way. To the end. JIMMY. As far as I’m going, huh? That’s cool. I usually don’t pick up hitchhikers. But you seem like a pretty together dude. TIMOTHY. And you like to be together. 87

JIMMY. Uhm—yeah. TIMOTHY. Damn. JIMMY. Er – Why don’t I turn on the radio? (Jimmy turns on the radio.) JIMMY. There we go. Hey, all right, The Beatles, man. TIMOTHY. I like the Beatles. They write songs about me. JIMMY. Sure, man. Whatever you say. THE BIG MAN. We interrupt our usual programming for the following news flash. Police say that suspected serial killer Timothy Carter has eluded a police pursuit somewhere in Oklahoma. His current whereabouts are unknown, but Oklahoma State Police are warning all drivers not to pick up any hitchhikers. Carter is possibly wearing a denim jacket and a red t-shirt and should be considered armed and dangerous. Anyone with any information on his whereabouts is urged to contact Oklahoma State Police immediately. JIMMY. Heh heh. That couldn’t have been you they were talking about. Could it? TIMOTHY. Could be. (Timothy pulls out a large knife from his jacket and puts it at Jimmy’s neck.) TIMOTHY. Keep driving. (Jimmy tries to signal Joe, sleeping in the back, by raising his voice.) JIMMY. You pull a knife on me, huh? You’re going to get caught, you know that. You can’t get away with killing three people and then taking two people hostage. TIMOTHY. Shut up. 88

JIMMY. Okay, I’ll shut up. I wouldn’t want to upset the man that HAS A KNIFE AT MY THROAT RIGHT NOW. TIMOTHY. Be quiet! (Joe has heard Jimmy’s warning. He pops up behind Timothy and tries to strangle him with a piece of rope. They struggle mightily. Carter kicks at Jimmy. The van swerves all over the road and off the road. Finally, it crashes. Blackout.) THE BIG MAN. Whoa. Now there’s a sudden turn of events. And it all might have ended right there. But it didn’t. Due to the crash, everyone was slightly injured, but still mobile. Carter had a gun, and regained control of the situation. Carter forced Jimmy and Joe to walk through the barren countryside. Finally, Carter spotted something: a hole in the ground. This was the entrance to an abandoned mine, last used over 100 years ago. They descended down into the pitch black shaft. (We are now in an abandoned mine shift. It is pitch black. The only light comes from a single flashlight that Timothy Carter has. The echoey sound of dripping water drops is heard.) JOE. Jim? Timothy? Hello? Anyone here? Damn. I feel faint. There’s nobody here. I’m going to die down here. Completely alone. All by myself. JOE. WHEN I WAS YOUNG I NEVER NEEDED ANYONE AND MAKING LOVE WAS JUST FOR FUN THOSE DAYS ARE GONE BEING ALONE I THINK OF ALL THE FRIENDS I’VE KNOWN BUT WHEN I DIAL THE TELEPHONE NOBODY’S HOME 89

ALL BY MYSELF DON’T WANNA BE ALL BY MYSELF ANYMORE HARD TO BE SURE SOMETIMES I FEEL SO INSECURE AND LOVE SO DISTANT AND OBSCURE REMAINS THE CURE ALL BY MYSELF DON’T WANNA BE ALL BY MYSELF ANYMORE ALL BY MYSELF DON’T WANNA BE ALL BY MYSELF ANYMORE WHEN I WAS YOUNG I NEVER NEEDED ANYONE AND MAKING LOVE WAS JUST FOR FUN THOSE DAYS ARE GONE ALL BY MYSELF DON’T WANNA BE ALL BY MYSELF ANYMORE ALL BY MYSELF DON’T WANNA BE ALL BY MYSELF ANYMORE (Joe passes out. Long silence and blackout. Then, in the darkness:) JIMMY. Joe! Joe, are you down here? JOE. Jimmy! I’m here! I’m right here! JIMMY. I can hear you! Where are you? 90

JOE. Here! Right here! JIMMY. Joe? JOE. Over here! JIMMY. I got you man. (Jimmy returns, waving the flashlight.) JOE. Jimmy! How’d you get that flashlight away from Carter? JIMMY. Carter’s gone, man. JOE. Gone? What do you mean? JIMMY. I sneaked up behind him. I got the jump on him. Totally surprised him. I grabbed him. We fought. He dropped the flashlight. I couldn’t see anything. It was pitch black. I think he fell down a mine shaft, man. He’s gone. JOE. Wow. So, how long have I been unconscious? JIMMY. Who knows? JOE. Man, I passed out. From hunger I guess. I was so hungry, Jim, so hungry. JIMMY. Is that right? JOE. Yeah, but, it’s the funniest thing. JIMMY. What? JOE. I’m not hungry anymore. JIMMY. Yeah? JOE. Yeah. I can’t understand it. JIMMY. Listen, Joe, never mind that. I have even better news. After Carter – wasn’t a problem anymore, I decided to try to find a way out of here. I was about thirty feet up the chamber, and then, way off In the distance, I heard something. JOE. What? JIMMY. Digging, Joe. I heard machines, digging. I heard muffled voices. They’re trying to get to us, Joe. They’re trying to get to us! JOE. Oh my God! We’re saved! We’re not going to die down here! JIMMY. That’s right, man. We’re going to be okay. 91

(Joe hugs Jimmy. Blackout.) THE BIG MAN. We interrupt our normal programming to bring you a breaking news story. Apparently authorities have tracked down serial killer Timothy Carter in his hiding place. We take you now to the wilderness of Missouri. REPORTER #1. This is Chuck Upton, Channel 12 Action News, coming to you live from the Mynaz Mine right here in Boron, Missouri. As you know, about three days ago, a van was discovered abandoned by the side of the highway about five miles away, containing evidence that fugitive killer Timothy Carter had been inside. Word has it that two hostages were taken captive by Carter, who brought them into this old mine, where he held them prisoner. As police closed in, there was a cave-in down in the mine shaft. After days of digging, it now appears the two hostages have escaped from the criminal who was holding them in the mine shaft, and have made their way to the surface. And here they come right now. Let’s see if we can get in there and ask them a few questions. REPORTER #2: What are your names? JOE. I’m Joe – Smith. And this is Jimmy Barnes. REPORTER #3. What was it like down there? JOE. It was hell. Pure hell. Nothing but. REPORTER#2. Where’s Timothy Carter? JOE. I lost consciousness for a long time. I have no idea how long. I couldn’t possibly tell you where Carter went. He may have fallen down a shaft and died. Jim, you have any idea? JIMMY. All I will say is, I don’t think anybody’s going to find him now. REPORTER #3. You seem to know what happened to him.

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JIMMY. You really want to know what happened down there in that horrible, dark pit? That dank black hole? Are you sure you really want to know? REPORTERS. Yes! Yes! We do! JIMMY. Well then hold on to your guts. Because it’s not a pretty story. JIMMY. TRAPPED IN A MINE THAT HAD CAVED IN AND EVERYONE KNOWS THE ONLY ONES LEFT WERE JOE AND ME AND TIM WHEN THEY BROKE THROUGH TO PULL US FREE THE ONLY ONES LEFT TO TELL THE TALE WAS JOE AND ME TIMOTHY, TIMOTHY, WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU GO? TIMOTHY, TIMOTHY, GOD, WHY DON’T I KNOW? HUNGRY AS HELL NO FOOD TO EAT AND JOE SAID THAT HE WOULD SELL HIS SOUL FOR JUST A PIECE OF MEAT WATER ENOUGH TO DRINK, TO DRINK FOR TWO AND JOE SAID TO ME JOE. I’LL TAKE A SWIG AND THEN HERE’S SOME FOR YOU. JIMMY. TIMOTHY, TIMOTHY, JOE WAS LOOKING AT YOU TIMOTHY, TIMOTHY, GOD WHAT DID WE DO? I MUST HAVE BLACKED OUT JUST AROUND THEN CAUSE THE VERY NEXT THING THAT I COULD SEE WAS THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN 93

MY STOMACH WAS FULL AS IT COULD BE AND NOBODY EVER GOT AROUND TO FINDING TIMOTHY TIMOTHY, TIMOTHY, WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU GO? TIMOTHY, TIMOTHY WE LEFT YOU DOWN BELOW JOE. In short, we’ve been through hell. JIMMY. And come out the other side. JOE. And right now, we’d like to go home. (Sheriff Baines and a couple of deputies enter. The Sheriff brandishes a piece of paper.) SHERIFF BAINES. Excuse me please. Sheriff coming through. I have here a warrant for the arrest of Joseph Small and James Barrett. REPORTER #2. That’s not what you said your names were! JOE. Okay, you got us. How’d you find us, Sheriff? SHERIFF BAINES. We were tracing you through the van. We knew you boys were trapped down there in the mine. You were going to come up eventually, we just didn’t know if it would be walking, or on a slab. REPORTER #1. Sheriff, what are these men under arrest for? SHERIFF BAINES. I have a warrant here for their arrest for the murder of one Rance Sherman of Yellow River, Indiana. JIMMY AND JOE. WHAT? JIMMY. He’s not dead! JOE: He was going to recover! SHERIFF BAINES: Over two months ago, Mr. Small here shot Mr. Sherman in a dispute over his relationship with his daughter Julie. Mr. Sherman was in the hospital for some time. We thought that he might recover, but due to complications from his wounds, he passed away early this morning, allowing the charge of Murder to be laid. Now, let me by! 94

(In the confusion, Joe manages to insert himself between the police and the reporters and gets away in the confusion. Jimmy realizes the game is up and doesn’t try to escape. He is placed in handcuffs.) SHERIFF BAINES: Get back here! Somebody grab that boy! (Blackout. Joe runs on to the scene out of breath. He hides behind a tree.) JOE. I can’t believe it. After all this moving around. After all this suffering. After everything I’ve gone through. I thought I was going to see home again. I thought I was going to see Julie again. But now, I can’t go to Indiana ever again. I can’t go back there. JOE. INDIANA WANTS ME LORD I CAN’T GO BACK THERE INDIANA WANTS ME LORD I CAN’T GO BACK THERE I WISH I HAD YOU TO TALK TO IF A MAN EVER NEEDED DYIN’ HE DID NO ONE HAD THE RIGHT TO DO WHAT HE DID TO YOU AND IT’S SO COLD AND LONELY HERE WITHOUT YOU OUTSIDE THE LAW IS COMING I’M SCARED AND SO TIRED OF RUNNING INDIANA WANTS ME LORD I CAN’T GO BACK THERE INDIANA WANTS ME LORD I CAN’T GO BACK THERE I WISH I HAD YOU TO TALK TO

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IT HURTS TO SEE THE MAN THAT I’VE BECOME AND TO KNOW I’LL NEVER SEE THE MORNING SUN SHINE ON THE LAND I’LL NEVER SEE YOUR HAPPY FACE OR TOUCH YOUR HAND IF JUST ONCE MORE I COULD SEE YOU, OUR HOME AND OUR LITTLE BABY INDIANA WANTS ME POLICE: (V.O.). This is the police! Give yourself up! You are surrounded! LORD I CAN’T GO BACK THERE This is the police! Now give yourself up! INDIANA WANTS ME You are surrounded! LORD I CAN’T GO BACK THERE Give yourself up! You are surrounded! I WISH I HAD YOU TO TALK TO This is the police ... and I mean it! (The police rush in and roust Joe, placing him in handcuffs.) SHERIFF BAINES. Joseph Small, you are under arrest for the murders of Rance Sherman and Timothy Carter, grand theft auto, and flight from prosecution. You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer any questions. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand these rights that I have read to you? JOE. Yes, I do. (Jimmy is brought in wearing handcuffs.) JIMMY. It’s over, Joe. JOE. Jim, they got you too. I don’t get it. What did you do wrong?

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JIMMY. Aiding and abetting a fugitive. Grand theft auto. A bunch of other things. Look, Joe, before all this we had clean police records, and we’re both minors. My dad knows a really good lawyer. We might be able to get through this, start over again. JOE. Somehow, I can’t believe you. (Julie enters. She is visibly pregnant.) JULIE. Joe! JOE. Julie! (She runs to him. They embrace.) JULIE. Joe, it’s all right. JOE. No, Julie, it isn’t. It’ll never be all right again. JULIE. Joe, please. Look at me. I lost my father. I can’t lose the man I love also! JOE. Love? JULIE. Yes, Joe, love! You know what love is, don’t you? JOE. I thought I did. SHERIFF BAINES. All right, Small, time to go. JULIE. No! Please! I need a minute. SHERIFF BAINES. Ma’am, you just had a minute. You can see him later, at the jail. Let’s go. (Julie grabs at Joe’s arm as he is taken away by the police.) JULIE. Joe, I’ll wait for you! I’ll wait! JOE. Julie, there’s no use in waiting for the past to come. (Joe and Jimmy are dragged away by the officers, leaving Julie completely alone on the stage, lit by a single spotlight from above, amplifying her loneliness. She begins sobbing. The music for “Run Joey Run” comes up slowly in the background.)

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THE BIG MAN. Well, that’s just about the end of our story, guys and girls. The trials of Joe and Jimmy were front-page news here in Yellow River; film-at-eleven kind of stuff. They could not convict Joe or Jimmy of murder. Regarding Rance, the lawyers made a good case for self-defense. As for Timothy Carter, the authorities never were able to find his body, or any evidence at all for that matter. However, Joe and Jimmy did get long prison sentences for various other charges. They’ll be almost thirty by the time they get out of the slammer, even with time off for good behavior. Julie said she would wait for Joe, and the rumor is that they’re going to get married pretty soon, while Joe’s still in prison. This whole thing puts me in the mind of something some really smart dude once said: the course of true love never does run smooth. But then, you folks knew that already. JULIE. DADDY PLEASE DON’T, IT WASN’T HIS FAULT, HE MEANS SO MUCH TO ME DADDY PLEASE DON’T, WE’RE GONNA GET MARRIED, JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE (Julie falls to the floor, weeping. The entire cast returns from the wings for a final rousing chorus.) ALL . RUN JOEY RUN JOEY RUN JOEY RUN JOEY RUN JOEY RUN JOEY RUN ! THE END Blackout, curtain calls.

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 SHATTERED ROMANCE!

 TEENAGE TRAGEDY!  FUGITIVES ON THE RUN!  BLOODY MURDER!  AWFUL FASHIONS!
And it’s all set to a toe-tapping beat!
This is the story of Julie and Joe, two All-American kids, who come from an All-American town, in that AllAmerican decade, the 1970’s. But to their shock, their perfect summer of young love is ripped to shreds by class prejudice and easy access to firearms! Wanted for murder, Joe is forced to go on the run, with his pal Jimmy helping him out. What dangers wait for them around the next turn in the road? Meanwhile, the soundtrack of the local AM Top 40 radio station keeps the beat going strong as they try to make sense of where they went wrong…

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