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Screenplay

EXT.

SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD - EARLY MORNING

A bathrobed man with bedhead steps out on to the porch of a modest two-story, his fingers wrapped around the Wilson slugger handle of a novelty baseball mug. This is JASON DELL, 38, suburban stud of the American dream. Strange ELECTRICAL ZAPPING NOISES emerge from O.S. Jason takes a few steps toward the source of the commotion: his neighbors home. A bit more upscale than his own. He notices a U-Haul in their driveway. All the windows in the house are strangely aglow. The air feels charged with static as Jasons hair stands on end. The buzzing sound gains momentum, reverberating deeply, until it explodes in a sudden surge. Startled, Jason spills his coffee. He rests his hand on a tree and receives a static shock. JASON Fudgepecker! Someone GIGGLES from across the street. Jason turns his head just in time to catch a short fat man scurrying off behind some bushes. The light is low, but it appears the man may have been wearing an adult diaper. Jason retreats into his home, sucking his finger and looking over his shoulder. He is floored by confusion. FADE TO BLACK ROLL CREDITS FADE IN INT. DICKIES SPORTS INC. FACTORY FLOOR - MORNING ANIMATED OR STYLIZED MONTAGE Cartoonish robots assuming human roles on the factory floor: flattening strips of leather by hand, operating a hydraulic press, inserting felt padding into a baseball glove, doing quality checks, taking a coffee break. A robot supervisor berates a clumsy employee. A ROBOT PAGE carrying a baseball glove leaves the factory floor and gets into an elevator. He gets caught staring at a FEMALE ROBOT WORKERs breasts.

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INT.

UPSTAIRS OFFICES - CONTINUED

MONTAGE WINDS DOWN The robot page exits the elevator and walks down the hall, then into an office. He hands the baseball glove to a MANAGER ROBOT wearing a business suit and ball cap. The manager robot exits the building and walks toward a corporate car park. END CREDITS/MONTAGE EXT. OUTSIDE DICKIES SPORTS INC. - EARLY EVENING JASON DELL, late 30s, sporting a baseball cap and business attire, approaches a futuristic looking vehicle in a corporate car park. He awkwardly inserts his two fingers into a slot in the car door to unlock the vehicle. The car flashes red. Denied. Jason grimaces like this is a familiar frustration in his life. He thrusts his two fingers in and out of the lock slot a few times impatiently. Schlick, schlick. The car flashes red again and emits a quick high-pitched warning sound -- BLOOP BLOOP. CAR VOICE No access. Stand back. JASON Lets go girl, quit yer blushin. A man in a business suit approaches the vehicle parked beside Jasons. He smoothly inserts his two fingers into the door unlocking the vehicle. He looks sternly over his shoulder at Jason as he climbs into his car. Jason presses his entire body against his car and starts thrusting his fingers in and out of the door. It looks like hes either finger raping the vehicle or masturbating. JASON Come on, you know my fingers, you little whore. A group of businesswomen walking by pick up their pace to get away from Jason.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

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The car goes into full intruder mode, red lights flashing and alarm sounding. CAR VOICE Stranger danger. Report police. Jason kicks the car repeatedly. INT. JASONS CAR - A LITTLE LATER Jason is reviewing business documents as the car apparently drives itself up a freeway ramp. EXT. FREEWAY - CONTINUOUS Jasons car merges seamlessly on to the freeway and into a perfectly straight line with hundreds of other self-driving cars schlepping their owners home from work. MONTAGE DIGITAL 3-D BILLBOARD: A moving image of scientists growing beef in a laboratory -- Lab-Grown Beef: Its Whats For Dinner CUT TO: The driver of the car beside Jasons is reclined in his seat watching anime porn on his windshield that doubles as a TV screen. We dont know where his hands are, but theyre certainly not on the steering wheel. His children are in the backseat watching normal cartoons. CUT TO: BUMPER STICKER on the car in front of Jasons: Rand Paul for President 2032. CUT TO: Jason is passed out snoring in the drivers seat, the business papers scattered around his lap. EXT. FREEWAY - CONTINUOUS Jasons car merges off of the freeway seamlessly down the exit ramp toward the suburbs.

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INT. JASONS CAR - LATER The sun has gone down quite a bit. A monitor on the dashboard lights up and a woman appears on the screen. She blows toward Jason. Cold air shoots out of a vent ruffling Jasons hair and waking him up. He rubs his eyes. EXT. SUBURBAN CUL-DE-SAC - MINUTES LATER The car switches out of automatic mode and Jason grabs the wheel. He pulls into his driveway right after another car pulls into the driveway of the house to the right of him. He watches an attractive woman exit her car and walk toward her front door. He waves to her through the window and frantically tries to get out of his car in time to catch her. He accidentally presses a button that causes the windows to tint. By the time he gets his door open, its too late. Shes gone.