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Umut yok yalmzca siirgit mucadele var

bu bizim umudumez. Deliligin dil] i,te bu. cumleyle baslar,



DAviD' 'COOPER (~tLANGU.AGE OF ,MAD:NESS"')

$izofrengi.

lki ayda biro cikar. (Bunu soylernistik ashnda) Haziran 1992. SaY1.3

SAHlBl VE YAZJ l$LERt MOD ORO Ay§cgill Akyaprakli hamrnefendi

YAYIN KURULU

Patih Altmoz, Guno Bilger, Banu Biiyiikkal, KUltegin bgeJ, Yagrnur Taylan.

YAPIM, TASARIM

MEDEA

(Eskiden isimleri Graftti, $imdi MEDEA. Adamlar aym adam.

Bir tiirlu tasmamadilar, gitti.)

KAnaDA BULUNANLAR

Peykan Gencoglu, Hakan Atalay,

Miin Ferit dergi toplannlan, Lloyd Cole,

Nehir BUfe'nin sahibi Nehir Abi, Serdar Kocak Mehmet Senol ve Niva '51, paket paket sigara, Nevzat ~all~kan, M. ~ .. , R.. G. o., pathcanh pastarun silinmeyen hayali, Peter Gabriel'in Turkiye'ye gel me ihtimali,. Mustafa Safak, Tevfik Baserin Elveda Yabanci'si, Adnan Qzdemir, Kultegin'in kuhisttir arabasi, Suha Tugtepe, Erdogan Ozrnen, Toni Childs, Durul Taylan, Eskisehirden Aylin, S.K, Ankara'dan Aziz Ediz, Talip Qzean, I~Jl Dirican, BeyogJu'nda. rakr satan butun Tckel bayileri, Changes dergisi, Bahann ask dolu havasi, Guno'nun bilgisayan, ku~ilk Iskender, Dergiyi okuyan biitiindostJanmlz, S.O, Zcynep Baskaya, Ebru Guven, matbaao Melin, J.G, H.K, dergiyi size ulastiran kitabevleri,

Dolunay.h geceler, Kcmal Sayar, Bir Psikiyatr Psikanalist, P'ITnin PI' kssmi.Tbe Cure.Haydar Ergulen, New Model Army.

YAZI$MA ADRESl

PK 187 Bakirkoy-Istanbul,

- Ad ve soyadlanrun bas harfleriylc bclirtilcn yazarlar, bir doncm tedavi amaayla psikiyatri kurumLannda bulunrnuslardir,

• Ozellikle Psikoloji, Sosyoloji, Pelsefe, Antropoloji alarunda ogrenim gorenuniversiteli dostlanrmz, hocalanniza suuf gc:~c:bilmc:.k icin yazmSlm:z donern odcvlerinizi, maWekrinizi bize u.Ia~nnn, yaymlayal.un. Guzel seyler hepsi biliyoruz. Raflarda tozlanmasmlar, Onlan universltelerin esaretmden kurtann,

- Dergimizin 1. saYISI yeniden basihyor. Hazirarun gobcginde kitabevierinden edinebilirsiniz.

-Be: daha dah1· rulSllsaruz bakahrn.

.2

i ~ i N D E K i lEn

- - -- - -- - - --

~KP:AZWNDABm MOms<: Iu~CUK Y~murT4,Jfl,'n TABU SAiAmNDA E,ASm TO~lANTISr ktlfiJk l£kmd~r Bm1AIJJt~BIDl-'V! ZAMAN S~~d'arlCOtaj ,MANnK~DiL~ DUNYA WSKisz HMaaNiDABtl iru. SO,l!; 1Mp ~)1:n SAKS&GJ\N' Kusu M.o;,

4 6 7 8

11

ANn OEnwus S&"1 Tur.lZe 12

... SID', 15

SES CIKAILVAY~ ADAMIN 'HALB,~r RuHirulm GillRt~K(Jltt!J,in ()JJe~ 16

ANNEMN I\AB.ANLIK YlOz0 Ad;n:an ,()zd~mw 17

EILLEGIm ImImN TOf'UUM Ibu~el Jat.'Cby 18

b'·h:T~.""'V1!l·1'.' N,'~l1..J!j,~1

liR Vw TAKDtMl (It, 'D. LAING'tDEN)

20 21

AMPillstZM, Dit-VI nSM-m -1ll EnJ.oj'a.:n Ozm~n .22

,KA05 'f .24:

Anusns, :KAMlLE H.G.O. 25

F:ANlElLBl,W :B1LGm(M)LBR F-tuih Altmiz 26

UClVRMA AnuCAUGI .H~l"r Eirgfilen 28

RuI'Gill PStOIAl1..tSt1 llir Pnk~:fRn P£ikMullm30

nt-DiM Dm'"DIM J.G. 32

tc~KW~~ G.B. as

DELiLiK UZBRiNE KO'NU~MALAI. -3,-3,4

YALNIZ DB(l[UMJ S . .K. as

6'O!IJJ:UN HAB.B:lBUIJl Corne:lius Cimori'R-d:is 36

HAJATILM1N EN GVZllHL StAHNE.mU ~2~ Durn! TjJyJ~na8 ,b.M,!LEB. Siilta TilItt,pe3,g

1Qk!l'tri i.m,~nTtk tarihi hd'lFtI~i1N~ II;- 11Ii!!~!i;!, IfJ.!' :lilmiilbm, I)'~iytilk .lliInii~ yoldqlllk ~1fi'!i1' ~ullIl!lIM ollruUnolma:iIyui, btl, dild~, ulldlim~, ,d\erillill ~~lIil]arl!., ,11U1~ mi!ii~mcl!tJerrdle U;ei 71i'"~ilvq MI' .!f!,~re h .. nkl~I!lJ~JII :DiI"~>I'~'~!! I!~r dur,5J!·, ,M:J!!,~le!1 '~~ ~hir dil'l!I!!l,C~, jh!!"pl"~da".f.llilll ~'qilJ"k&lJi"1: }ijj~,i:ll~~,.Ptlli,1nnii lhrJiiili.illll hi:r 1iO:Jl: .iill,1I~Lt~, ,()o~.MIa 'i~~,llb,i!em, '11Ullb'lll ~i~' '"lklll Ipi\I'~~ind~ 11~I!m.I~r f~i p!~o,pllw~ii:k teo _mle~, ~:llhr 1~ni1' '~lr ~~~piUi!:d~ t6r;Im1l11' htle ,g,dell bllr ullikll,

P.~~iiJa!Jrik lJ.J1!' hj}wlt~D lll",ml"!!abi~ Irf bir l!~~f;itliu Oniifi:~. ~Id!;, illju'tllt fijp~ It\:. ,I~lqll~binr b.~r 1tl!.l\\dil ~~GI~liIIm d~lilnlildllilJiode 'illomul.' yt iPillntl:!jil' kt!li::inrIr~.if..ugiid!~~il)'l'llil~iddi rilir umJjfi~l~f,:lik bq~-* ~i.i!J1Or, diil~w'l~ " d~~f:fim ~i!~U·~!!!! !!~;!'~Ii~!!i!! 1!.!!!!i.I~!'iiiii!l! !~r1!'ii! dg)~!Y:IlI bu. ~f;Uill 'IWtIl:t~.l'f~f~i~,Qrull.ii" yo:r:o M~II.'L~ "JulG!u,:Plldiol~ 0:1' p~OOllL&.c.~~;l'!!~~!!!!!;!! pltc&jilj'\~ Idb YUIg!!dlll!" !!!11"bidlll!l;L-.Ia,lfd ,,,t! 'T~plu!l!tI~~I Ii.irriM bg·Yiloa, ku.l.;a~ )Ilmi:iip.. iii. ia~ror. L_Db;rb:clNllillz: k~kh.. pd. IP!IiI,al~jire 'o'l!fl!lI, bil'e,.m~oplllllUlru ~,1Ui ihdew.em "'~ lII!:dii;ro roir :role n· llU,p~mi 1~.Um!e:m, [ikrd bil'tye!lik~e 0lI1L'lI. fiki~ller ¥e [!aullbr ,d!:lll)'Ulil11ll, c~ kUfI cidd~ bir ~tllJ!!lS"'!! kOliilI!II!Y!I!lIil.,il.~(l<r IJ.~" I!:g~ik.'~ ~ b~ijl~~~,'!H;Ik d~~!Jtu ~..:~! ~1jI1!\1 bll: de'll.c,im. Mull\iem. ~11111;p bo'~1I1lUf dllJ"plj'nII 'fe' IDI:LbiRII diii.lltt:, ~QDUfiI:ell~;O~UIi\l!I :k.ea:di lIi1h!.II~ilicilili dili~rue 111IIH'b d!dgiullll ",~;del:i~JiiMllU!i Vlf' olan ~urel 1I,-d'!lJ:tl!ilIOn!llihlIquJlII o1~ D~!:! t~rlwI~. 1\1 ~ii Ihtlliim..'Ii: 1t'tD httdllltilii p!Bjilninill"c )JWLIiiriI'llIUIII&~klcrilI~tl'bclolliinc dll.imk mnmd.,oldll,iuml ,~)\liL)'gr b~ d:IJ Adol'DO~dlll ,&till ¥W'U<lIli:.,

. L[t!III~h:k J;~, ,liI7~'MI1 ,111"1,, ,~ilIYl'\tli b"ldlt!!iiill1l!1l!~~ lbillililb)'Ollj ,dWt" ~,ilJ. !lilt, ~Iil!~p~!ill~ ~ir 1C1~ k~l'!iImdj~ 1illi'1· Ii:IVWl di~ri!, illl llitli!r'Pyi imJiyo~. St. AII!~~'~: I~~~ qU Mlr !i1)iI~! "~, dtm,'Or.~I-J\U!. ~k d.litit. Sj}~lIJlar n :SbMb~11t kiii!l:g~ bl~ 'Ul uldirpn bn: ';~!#t d>~YS!!iJi.ll!!ii~ ,~~I~i1dif.d'ii;i" imaiia tiq,ml!'~lUIigde !!ir .!!i.u! Qi.l.l'llI.~!~ ~b,~i!', VuU!. '.~I/O'dIEmi!i~,! ~~!!J'1~' I~'.o! cl:i(l!Wl ... ~;!f UlJ!!ii~ bill! Lir ~lIioei!l!*c, k!o1r "~!I.~ dl!l<ld!lar~ bkm~ g.[dgl~!"i! ~m lIue kl!l:Jl!i~'!l!irlllr:. Bill • .I!gi!l~ P.yd~bl.a'i~~, ~.!!,jIi ~!Willi d"~~ llir,,r,jIiii¥anhl'." Shii.dl.tPt~e fjI :lilPIiI;!\pD d~. !!!hlliil ~., ~ild!lIl!m liIip.I~_i. ~lil'i:Idcill ii01,~II:!~,7'lird" IIlttlllt~ ytll:r!i!UllIut ha:jhbdrLW:f luilallll~: byaJrl,!fO:r. So:ncilCJ;L[jd~ d,Ufl~fil bir w&iiyo:m" ~kll ~:a ,OillLli ,tcd~~i tlmq't plJPlll biz, ~~d:im. plIi 1lI,~rb~. Ue~imic, ill!: bUJI!II bi9 ~ir ~lIllnl role

'In!!:la'lea~! ,dillllnllyor,

It. ,~ fa. 'riil,d A'!'nlP,WD;iil; ~Ulll O!l'~ ~-Ikma:l1D1 tQfUi\ olndr:, lI\ILlular I!it.~, .d!IiI'"n':Ililf,l rl:illJl~nd~reli '''imoii.~e ·~i~ ~~. O:!n.1i: 'I!!illillllhi'l!~o:r. T!ld!!~IHm .~illlJil ~:dl't:ii 0:&119;Urili .In~k III! Uk ~.dlml~f~'rn k;Qiilii',oillUz N 'u.~JII(!;I/Il.I. oimliJiI! lid!!r' ·~ldJll;:llllrl dll'lilrt~lIl .. ,.o:r. WI '1.I1I:I'Nlli1l:a p~Lqdmlf.. d"ll~,irmlt' dtilliriJehiIJr'l'e 4lJ:bn;!; iflk O:~1 :II~~ir" ,Ie; d!!!rP!/1m Pi" ,~aI&:II"1'1ill1:ll,111 olIn" IW.

lilia/for. -

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X:!.Ib~~ modt.m ~11~_I~nl .lIIs ~c!, ,e>'iillll,g, dil,e:r :b..~ dlu)!1ll'lUJiJ!"IQ~I\!I*!'Wl :.Ip!!IIIIIDdJfle' ~1!!1.ltl'itUIiji~elli~l I:A'JI!~ Y;:11lliD:i!!.tn hi!" ~Hj!nlilill~l ~~'\IIi.. ri.~'or. MIlIIk.ll bl! Joh;id~i:u ~.)fi"illl!h hir bi· ~nJe iigall'Jor,. iliia,k iifiilll I.cilllcnli lmo· dt.fil 'lo,llmIIndl :bsbn~Wa 1IIIIIIIl1iJ bi;j. ,iQi. Blbn ,II~ .di)l'O'1l '~Jod~mizm !!It tub!l9' hbllJ ~iRfRIII!lIlIlu<IJ '!'·e i.I:Iprlillle:ll~ dllir Iiiber~1 flkirkn uJI!d!l:'.Ilg mUJlf.I!ldLIi: idldiiillI>IJi m,~' d;~ .,klll p·1Br7el:im!:~' d!u'J~ll)ir mlill1!i1. k'O~~.!!lI~ ,d~,mEi~1 igk:llit~ :r~~m.1 ~tr w:mma:. Dirt.J,e! ~,~~i~nll \i'~l ~~pJlumug t~1 i!.U no~!tUI.oltu,ill.:O:!I.II~rwJlkil idllbb:r~ b~1 Uhr b .. ,nmlln ihlal cdm ~LMil ~~,.~ ~~. lid· (jliillanlllW'jinli:lR ••

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tU1l:~1l:U'iI.J •. Ball Kchill'i1i el~i~ml!: k~bm~Jj,ul1 b!lUID ~~g!eriDi!! pltOJoji .. b,lilit d.ollii,JliiiUJ!ii diq,iiDiii;~~'" JlilU1e1ii!Jdi~ ,Qla:r;d\ ,il§ !ilDlIlIl II~Ldidl!l 'ti\iil:i',51i,iimin olltmil k.lllitll)'Oi' 1)11 liiiok.lli.da·u soon" E§, YCll'illl1i" .&dm" omli: rqillDW!lfil'B ,~~Ilip lie bd~lr l>~? S!!i!~!I!:JI~IIf, l~~1;: dIiJi~lmli)\Or.Kam,p- 1Ilk!J (bd;l!!i!!~) ~~II bq!li.illc liiat!le I~~m-

.nn 1!1I~11 ,jdmU§ :kllnik JIiIikiynrm''''b;l;l1il dtp~tlJd.ilfi!ltlui.nd~n", iOlildliDem un~l 111- .fl.llIn,iiIl~. !~rii~~c ladaf pmq bir yelpaude Igtiil:ii.inl:ll: Mle lsttmil dul:l!lllld&. L~l!!J~! idL .,~!!1U: d~ IY,C! l~b'C!!! ~lkJiili .Ilmda .Krll!e h!l~h •. ~.~. :i'O!~~~, b~.1 dl~,~ ii!~1 b.~lki .. KfiQ!pl.~b.i1l ~.I~~ltlliill!jl I~~ liPtklfilrm, :l.1!~lI."b~1 ~jd~~;iI.dla!'~zilmiql ~i!' ka:t!~lir~ iii· a]rs'l~' huluDlhloc; E-nl, .wHim .LIII d~f: b lrpl"iJiiDl I,lSm oull6k1!crmi iilmJ'4T, ki§iyi n ,d'~~icrm] )!ilium lijl 'l'ibi!mk l!;iT poq!l!!iJtlt trrup. A!I!I bill' :r·lm1yl, ih bid~ '~Ikb;j, IlIU!1ma1~ 'foIh,ujlm!!!:, terieri'l '.19'.1'5'1 .16·71~ 7tmu,~~ ~. ,&l ribi~imil,e nrmi, o!d!!'ia~J .!WCf,j ~lI!ImIalirOl' ~,dUn'~1 ,~ 'W

,liIindt birp;nolo:jri, It:b~r-11zl'i1i:! illrE'-liorilc ha.&' l~ml1ld'a .lmdinli)i'o,i'.

"1111 nok.udlii M:I:mr~, libi'malll'c t~lolojik kL:lIl:iB~l'lkafillilld~ki r~d. ilall~ Lnllmlillli~.bl,· li.r. SO~U!l hubilllli eMf 11~~dg;~i ilUm cleM' ,imiDi~I. iI~l'IMil •. ~li!h!llf[~~1 h,h~ijll' edt!! ~ .. IlIul'I~lar.ti!u"lhli. k~l~iJli1i.iilil:~ ,III .al'ld.l. kll.~a'ItShk I:liUllimCi!l'.fii !r~IQtlJliluI Mr hnlm ,d!t;il •. ;lj'~l7j.mitilli .iJiihbliMt, kitiMl1 ,gtllq. mtmlj!U:k" i!;i.bipltlimMlllkj, liei'm: fer. ,gll. 'felllccm:6lnir. Kilk i'l90lmillk ~qinl Te kifilcr U;;JI bl';U,ul:llj!n b.dimicrmi ~slermekrllr, r~ildJ~trillin ~Q'l.pWimlI'!!' ,~lInllll'! delilil! '1j\~ h~lIlhil!ll c,ei!t!!!!il:1 ~tkq,teri~e ,1ILl'elme belk!llili itejinllll'~l!e1,iminlg bilAilWiClI1iin!!lJe1!i of~laf;l.!~ik~nlmql!.r. Jlell.vme~(i/t~ol '~!I ~lil, lille ~!I!,p~r;g iil'dirllii.lWril ¥~ fr.5f1!a~, h~· 11~3'11!!I1"m;JI~f i\1~!!]I!U~ .~~r~:~e'!"1 e!! ~~"~akPnilllii~ilr!'l.dr.!'-I ~~ ~lltQlikt~ji!l~ Jilt.!" Hj~ i;lig~iI- 7m" d~[je,.IIIii,. kl},1iiill. t~ k~ldJn!1 ilillaili!lMl1I IGyulb~~n'<lJ~. hi!" !t.m;ploma d!l~ ~Iihrtlll: ..

•. , .KijJI~ihfiIiillllir; hu' l~i:ftil, "ilnbo1Ie bili' ,d.ili (lcmplOmii1l ,dlli.~, bbul cd'ilcllltl oltl'llm ,d';~~bllmH1 yl:illilJlldc klilbnrm, tY~millde.

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brtk flflid.lIiiiH1i y~k:t:dllkl.!'i! .• lnmm !pintIli'lutlilt;riifiiZi, bil.)i1l1: 4Jtianmm£'lillIiUlifOI". tHl:iln~nk, Ibllr\u. ,d,~ bize bizi .a!ll.IIl:i&a!II.- 1QI"·

'YWllUll ,101I,\ln'lll "iRelki ~ bliMall !lahll ~Milt nrie~,.QlllIlir iliy-or Mulle~ ''!ui!lut· niZlu.II:.IIi,~ mrkil, noualj] fbi ilw:c. dc~ yimicrini1i IliillIl~n i~d.c krw:r w. :.URCm, ~1~Jfi!oIJd:ir. BIld!~ficrimlcJde.~ laii.GI:b1 btliriidik, onllm, PJlillifatirik ,e lCilhllirtllolarillk LlI:nJJ:Ill~MIIl" p.a\4I'ojiIW:re ind~ oI~f I, fWM;!D b:ilil!e~ ad~)Illl' ulme'II~.:iJr~."

IG1irii/l!!::l'i 'II tl~ bll1ll1l1ik. ,Iobkl~r, 1i1im,ufl.!i I~!I !~~~!dll:'~ b!tdi mod~rig iDJl!l~1 LH':i!h.e!!I k«Um'Dd)~!li ~llbl!!!J i~ IIdu- d!. 'i!:!d~ pekbiiJr I~~ '~II:J'D!I,J~I' utiL lai\!l!"~ Ja-dlk:a:~" "ri~ MizIBr !!.J!!_riI.IJ ,~~" ~"~J~dj! hiiJ •. llan.ii~" ,~~.h\li.lkkriii~' (I) :im.illilo rg'i'. ii:l!militlt gouil blr ,I~.a-~ J!JUJf:lii(~.)dl,iililiii rif:biidi m:iJ hi'lm.iyo:-I'IIJ. &1 .. u dt: PHO .1iz:~jJii. lllmtlZLtlllll; alllmJlil~jIIiiill,tI:DlIlI!la. fi ~1I11l}rtlr •

• "MI! 'IlfLIei'i1 ":~'LIOIiS)i'~ ,p.tUI!O!o;;¥ 0" IP~1o:1iI'. erm~1'I .loWMlI O'f IP",,¢h:!l!.1f (UI!ff'

a:.1blllu:l1li1ll Ilotcmlcr YilPll~rnIl~ ~l1i:gl~~.d!!mz. Q!d!~r!l 'veool~im~ii!ckm~f~ ,cill~dlrdlll!lb@it.J'B!!l ~!iI!l~I)$:!!~~ ~US :bcteii, dallY ~l'~e:ken! IlkV~r!flJlm ;lmliBepi~il. i 'bollln [pCllIlit, t.'I.U!ll]~UI'~kiilli!l, ll!gwl il!I\!ak!, koo 1111 tep;:i~w!,

o~~mQbIllkl!'l1I~ fnrml!llll!lfW, I!Sl Lk8c!i!!r~:ni!li'l ~ob~k ~Qml}i;i, ~m~r klllll:)" ,elek

Itrill!!'; '~!~!1! ,dud .. !\;, ,grrglill!Wik ~wrall~ ,~llncsi~ koll!!ill!~lu pti;iill,;tlnl!,5p!!<'l'1IIilI lOlil!e!li'~e!lw~ Uf!e ijll~lI!i! bmb!:llil ':lI~r~~fi\llJk m-mr[~llrl:! m~l);li llll'tn,! p:ttn:l:rk b!Me:rit :g.!j)ur~!l k:!ull!d~!, k<lJim<t!l:oNlll!'iks, ~s bttlimml,lfilrdi dCi~I,lIl!l.~~ral rm.e<e mll!aBl, Inm.k ~1I0lililt :iliil~mllU'ik .u1P~m.c ~ck nilJe.ri. ,b:l'O~ii!rUi~ ll'!!~lrU!Ok led'i~ ,dCpf~irr l~lIln!l!m.ID~r,!,~i~[d :e;g~icD:e:J'i~iin ~lilJJZIL!r !~yi, di~ hlil!ie~1i'IIII!IiI:lral~

riitii~ yalunlati1lCii1;l11l' hYriI:illdll tu!el;'iil~~n p.w1;ralnil:llrll! [IIJh,allif ~km;m.in'l

el.lerit (biijfru. klli'mliZl,~;:!Y 1'i[lj~IIJ~rlll 'iull~i1I~!! ecmnilcrl g~null! l.!!bull!!tl, nUI;~'f3teii (iil,iime POfiti:lk;il rii~eli ~.O[lll!l'dl:i), ~~~ir fl!;)Jlri.iiO\i ~imru. 1l1~ :kIJ'!II.!!.pil!Cll!& heykdJi,! ar.kcolillJi1 bullui,M\:! d:l:Ylltn!Ullcrkc'k ~op'uk kc,milde;,i~ pe[ikal~f1l!e1lLei!' lI'e ~b:rbukubrr~ ibi!f japo:n .r~n~. lli;r:ll:h p:.tJ1'I~cdd,Q.rl!,. mho

I!iQi!U!I~~ [uS~~~ ,a1~G~liI'id: slllfd;);YI'lI1 flr.a:w!, dii~ dolWiil8ut pulll!lIl;:! ~w~iiy,umlLl.

gemw!!1!l1!: hll~p 1!.Ili. Mlz. ~~'be~;e ~ltrm::!iliidi~mUlllID:lI ~1IIilI ollmak 'iiml\~)l(U. ~~rna m.obydJi.ek~ii ~~llJ.ml:zdll.e~ 1I:iIl :redi; 'ki~iydilillil!;. III :l;:,1I,miln111!f g(lz.lji!(riltn ~o&: ifiirdJi. y.@ tifkfebilffimiiyordlillm. rbhl~iflri oo11dwyeNlilm hem; 1~!!I:tIY",l:Jga'~m~ aynfdim_ p:!.'letilelr. mooS!~k~r~c ~k ,~~k iQ~L!.

bbUem.ii tc~l!ieUiLm. bcld!e~ lIf1ium. :zelDdydii, 'Wi~ii Ibldd!er~1i. m'l!loo,)' W}Jli!)eai!u .grnlmeitt!)'d.im. k:g;!mb:~IDer~md!c ~Iac.drul. e'lma MlfiU~lMUkllli a, iilllllil!lim Ib!pljl~ Jill!miI gimmecCkilii •.

0ll'~ ilcniLm:!ililru:m, ylllikilili. ra:l}'I:sirl!:llw~ ruon ~cY:!icmdi. !l!!~!!'~ileki. ~em~iY~Je g[!dc~~tim. SII.wmm;li Imtltlil\_~rruml kimsc {\ii~c~nilc.&:j!]j •. !iii!l:rlIi~imi. b.az~ ~~l. ~~1.II1ill 1k1l:1i!1~1,U'i. ~~~ grO!!n:ilm. irll!llll!)!y.!ill!ri. ~i!''¢._~ ~ijlii~ ~o<culd~ ~p:~ d~r~d~.yo:!'. h!!!lII:g b!ir~ lIi!1l'i1:~m~sj],yIDCiiilill.

,fuldii :~i l~le!rm~IliIrulIll~~1UI1'1 td~n.!!!r~~~igm.

,i:mJJi :~j 90ik f::.zlkli mr1liedim.

,~llllU' ~i:r in~ daiJl.rpj!l.

Is lP:: iE N.O E II.

Ti\IJ;U

SA II" III.NUI\ II,\SIN TOPI ... !\~'TISI

BAKMALAR $EHIR~ VE ZA:MAN

IKoynuma girerd~1 ben b:iJlmOOIen

G Olgeilli ~:kind ~Ier 9 iloi i'o~ru ~~ihu Ke~:ime'llerin kaybo'h:tug u 9<lcukJuDll,I nda 'OrtCinup bakma~,ar ~ehrin iin masalill nIl USIU ~ b:lir killyl vapurrlU gib~ ya,va,§ilardl~

Eski ItJak!ffilalann ha:zzi yla gijl~um5leyelrn B!~r demet 'gmc:u .zaman

Berra~, ve yinele,n:en iha;zlayit;en 'Ga~ebe yazlan nda siyal1 ku§~'an Kijpe~[eleu~nde sO,z, g~iz~',e:ye n IkaYI kl11arda, Solam'rijlsan~m b:~r gl~1I gibi

YO!SUIrr"~ ~u kl~ bat'u;;es:~nclenod~:araJ sQr'gun R uyaJlan rna mE!vsirnsiiz cin~'er gle~~rirdil Sessiz.h!arfle:ril,e ine:rdi~ metm i\lei~le:rden I),eli §eMn a%)lklanna IkUS9r(:li

Iilir (:leme~ gil Idij eskJi ,zaman

7

MmJlllk nedg~ ]JllIsoflJl,ya ~~k.u~I:I:i'<~If,iiIJi y:a:ruf]ilf ven~~billi:r; 6r.l:'leiin~ m:mltdt " h~ tijd~I d"ilJiiinm~Il:il1form(l;1 i;1U:r;lIJlIrln~ bJ?5~m;1t 'Ql~~13$f¢:I:'en li\C ki~in ,o.l~nk. l~~ilY,Uil hia' bmJ!tldill:~ (Kant. cSah .Akl!!n ~~d~ 7B)1 li~yaO! w'ifli. ~ilgl:;Wn. daym.~. nor.m.auf 'yuaru2irw~il:imidU''' (O~[!:",. ~, ItU!,2.) 'y,a d~ !'!~~Ii dilfUirKleninge,.

ntlc ~~M!i.~ bir bililmdir" >(t N.

~~~S: 19,(6) d!:ni~ebili]':, Bu U.r!~I;n es:l.rgeyendllirl!! . baibl~ ·,da, .hatn M Rl:'!lJ'tIlm y;dnyo.r gl.-

hi.soRiDen. 'rem ~wmI~('d~ e~M>C:billi'. :M.<:d. ne }'iYkafidem: tartm1!wacn bm51: ne de bWlilan.n vee b~~~ d$ger t;li .• ~~ :tQ~:w~ b~m_n.~n tmI bir taru:n'lI:m lOICK·. me>!'. 1iI~. nlmtli!, ~iI!r~d1~n h«h~ bLr ~rimilil Mlc Wn.·rWUmiI. I~de~~z. ezili ve eb~dli.)~riI.e!m~.Ya.~l!b· W hu'mw:n]ataJ ,diI.e .geririlid!Jj ~n ~~iN ltlcd.lI'a dl;l.8~n~kDilKd ycni bi[ l\mIm o]~:SII~ :k:cn.tJii i~dJe b~ vee b~ ,si!l'~!;' b6yloc~ ~OIUiYiz:a gid~ .. BIlI ~;J~. ~~aI: d1.~~ fie olduj.l ,so.Mtlbl1cGek. b.R- ~cm· dUr.j, n.e'~ ki. :~Ili, biiyi!ll::5l bilt ~:abw~ girm~y:iic:ubiZ b:uiII:!Yo:~~ ~. s&terilcciC:k hu da~Il. p. da .bCf 4~~~~ctl~ :yW;a!:!l;i:r; tlInIm ~~;a. ~6.yl~d[II;1eri.··c ~ ~D~ km'f!i. Ohmlllil:l2!llIH'!I!. ve,Y'l. roallremn[6ini Elldii~in. d¢ b~,m;~:f ..

(boYI.l!IlCiI. iitw:l.y~ne ncI5'I:U.$!l:ruz Oll.uYiZlnJ) o.]dJIlju~ IlifIllit[!111yarak.

A:m~ ~liln;lJ~k. h:!'ll!w. beleil:iibciil.

SOfir:i, YiIiI klll:nd;;lk:i ~arumlanlil M:r1t~~~~i: lilloktal'afdm bm5:mc dd.ka;~O!;i. ~ll:If;m~t i,sl~r1I'!1. O'JlJl~ \l'¢:ttird:q.I~I:'I:i g6.f~mi;lin·

tlk, biI" biI!imdir y.J:m 1be1ri!'1i .lli!rui, p~. l1ll1!. }l\M~m1~ri ~ 'be~ ttlr "f~m.~ alam oli!Jl! (n~ /kOnw'IJ o]m} b~ ~.p!in. dir'", c.$imdli. blJi g.6.~fii ~~d1hl;im.iz'· d~ ij~~~yin dQ~$!~ n~ Q1Ijil!lpn~ ~¥lrl; er:mem.i~. a~!:k: ~~~:it bcUil:'tmeroj:z .~ bilm~g~~ki[

<n$~I'l;melJlik. bll~a~~ i$t~r): 1) M;:!I!uj!n y.ui!l~, =n m_lI~n)llB.n~cm:imn~3)i m.mll(gm kon.usuj:nemesa,run. c doiasUIln lie Qldlil~nUl {.A1IUiq.klfillS,jZ sOlf.leym~ ~ biLl

ti~~ij birbh:i~.fl!a:fJlft ~d.e~IJYQ.rJWIIII!~!Il~Uz?}. ill!ilJJnb~ d~~ bmr;ini diy.e:.Ilim, kli 3\ ~~. m_~ WJ1oll.:n:l! n~ne· sinl. ~,e db .. BA~fllltuttt bie rtJllioo~~G:~.e ~u~ b,elirli bir ;J;m:l)/n~~ de ,~g~~m.B'L!I a1~ Ii'~.

:' ... ,r,. .:II~"-= ~_ .. _~~_,_:.. 1. ~I:_·~'I.· :'

'ya ~I$e! 'l"",anYiwwllUllJlioOiUN!i .~ tililie."gliu.1 Imm.

d~u.oc;si.,. :ima diil,y~~d!O~"~m" ilkelcrl~r; Niyd ... ~"ii~ ..•. (my.t ,~wm,Gdt.tl.u} ~.belir.li ~ri'

lillHm b~" hubmgi bill" lon~a. h~:rhll:l:I,gi. bir ~y ~.pe~e Itli:f j.dd1cadla bW!l.lJnm~~ gu.cik yoktllX ;,niIamllu ~b. de ~pb:lli!t dc. Btiz ~m.dilit oo.nclyc.Si~]llI'Ie. ~h~ gtb~ .d.q~ek.yohilmlJi~a. Ev:mI. Il:ltlmey~ ~~,~. 11m. ~~~~.~ ~di!~ ill~i~ .~muzi p~d! eMlC~. bU :kofaillI_b .$LiWl.enebi1ew; h~ f~ an.c;;ak; ,t) i:I1I ~. ~~ cldy~a:w. dojrnJ,ul VC'; p~:el''lilipun len.::!. id,ejti:l 0< ;oC!ln,~ y~ da ''''0 ~,Yr'c'i:'" b,oyunca

8

hj~ ,g:&.!'e~ ~I~fe 8~re fa Q;a. o!!l:lt.~.¢ vc.p.:!!a.li'~.e d~~:l'J.lliw .. M:mtlk dOl bw1liirU'l.ne·1:iji:IU :U~lmP builma v.e $Cil';siltm~ii1ni· gOO1::.v iCdim~tll. BUitiHdcn g;Onq1ul!t~ 1I'1.'la, iIli:-e,. ~u:n'I~ dQplJ!k ,clI.i~ .~. h:qbpn. biliyAl.eri. WO!:. (Ib&~ i:iliI!I'm.w,~.y,a. ~~wik).,an'C.!elitJe bm. ~y.!e:ri ~:5la>~r/~CJd1cr~~.N~~ o~am1J '~n~bbuUcn~ Bir ka~m:il,wa~ '~!fi:

a] dij~~1!: edimi ~)!'a.uam. gO~yapd.u:. b). b~ yua1~ bcitt&t iru.mlud~ onakw:',

c) o'r~k ,o]m bu ~i1u I!.qfCd!i!ebJW:~ :a~ja ~~b:ic IiI' Riltd.k.tedi:r •.

d) ~Uti d:e hcpIDiden, ~!mli~:ii~ h1!l, ~if y,a, da ~~9l1nma, i~iru ya. pab.i1«ek .mllj VC bpuitcY;1: nhlim.

Bill ana..Qad!, d2 abl, ,o'Iur:, dtiiG!n(IE oliiJt':~ mranuky.asal31n Q1W':! do,gr'~ dw~iiI'l~b:il.en d~i£lnc'C offiulr., ~ M$II )i kimya.yaDJ.mM da)iliaa.aik kimYll~ S\IiJ ~JI!Ibn a~L~DIiIZ a)1lll ~ekifd!c ~i:!ndi demllillllk: yudwyla dil,fiooe. nin kmIel i:~lelMrni, yadulN ~dd;l. :ml,l!k; j~m ,1@zliil,gUi ~,W'i"$I;mZ, h;ydi b~k>dl.m kola), stl.sin., D'i.i ~tl!nceJliin b:ndlig (iZie~ill.de dut!li'l1.erek, dlji~(IIl1,· ,a:mn h31n,gi yu'lllUiIJ gare ~~!Wlj~imU ,ottaya '''llI:-~a(~i'~. OnaYI !jl'k,\!!nn kiJn~ lili; dlli~ynce:si ~zerinde d!!i~ij .• nM b.iz. kimi:z~ Va d~ ,$oru)!illI' ~ii,ylE dciiltiJlcbiIDiriz: Ben !I'IC bt:nim dUI,Jiin'Cem a:yrl ayn ~cylc:r ise (djydim Iii a~Ie}, dJCI~J[lm\'!: 'ii:2It'rine dii~1li:n~n du~ceBiin {ya da ben.":in) de b.i:lirl:i blw' "m~tlk dil~,j" :i~:nde dd'f~h"U,YOJ: ,olm'il!$1 ~rebne~ mU

Dol;a:S1 ,gerc~ till ,$(liFguliamafCidl $omu~gid~r. I!'I1 .sidli~ bir diu. demenin L.$!csolZ:d.c b:k ka~ )"ohw !far. llhmludm b:iri~i$t'z8~d1ir; dY~flRoCe ~2ierinc dO~tinen dii~Cince, n~ne-£i h .. J~n.cgcdnlip ikinci d t.i~iin.cerufi bin.si y,[l5,~mJ g6~ .i~l~.dij.ini se:!0'1". :se:Zis.Wv]e tam![. 0' Om:ln i'riru: ,do,g-a:r,. liJr ha~k,'lI yo:!:; bu. dQ~tln{;~ '(iJ~rin~ d~~iti.nen diii~,iili1;~ bi.z~m b~ld~iimi~ b:IJkk::Jj~ Haun"1iD d(hflnce"si dcgH 4i1Biliyiik D~tince"dtr ya d~ T'iI!nndl.1' kii 00 h,;I!.u$1l ~ her ~eyj bi I.'ell.d~r .• Kcml~ :~en.dine 'y;et-el:!l!j ol;3[ndlll"" d.ogm~~ v,c: dc:prm~fti:r.

Hem bO)l'ksi: diizcysiz clqtirilere hem de yuib[ui'il!. verilen (Jli;q'\tllik [;lj. nlQlilarU'\;~ ta!l'~l ,g.etirilcibiilJccd:. ob:s! g6d~]t'rdcllli binsi ~u ol'a~~li!l': Siiill::f dD1inoccm:n rorm!!.IJ !refine dill~tI~.Qe·' mn iie.rij:ni m.anbiiJn k.on.u:5\i! yapmd.wlWi. Oys-a.,.. Ilillycl:i:m. ki. a,le. mannk: i:'f,erik i1c d~ (mm 1Ie ii1gi1i ,O:I~lIlldl,r. lyii hOl d~ Qd·~,unc;e;nin f«mu'''nu m: QffiUJp.o1lim,idl~1lI b;~!fit kim, ne~ d;,ljy~::Jjra[k sQ,yteyc;bJil~. DUfUtcenin fOilmu pmi dii<§iinccnilll QnWlI .i~indc. belliti bir yapI)I'a 4ck:le bvufruiU fiey !,!¢dill:l~ diry.e $lo:niklu,gunti!a, S:elil¢ tm'! bu' )IIUIIitW:rill..c:r:ru::. yc~cktilr .. Dillun.oe Formulnllln n.e 01,· dl!~ djl~!UJlm.nin i~ne ycd~Mldiii

dil. i!jif;Lti.e ~q'[II'11miIJdtr dcni~ibilir. Nc~!I" ki d~t1nm~:nin b,vran.a,'MlilT'o .Iik. Ye. i1cri~im ,(m!lJnk(l....n oldl!!iP klldax) z~minin.i Ollil~bI.llIin diLscli&dc fo['mI~ d(l~ri:io" furd."m iLe (e. l.er bijy]~ fOO"riatr lI'i!f i~) aym ohl,' m:ayaca~;1 tljLkm. AYllIl o]dl!!iwn:1!I soylledtiglmizde. dlilin, zihimd ~liifC~· luill/dG~noenin tam 'bi!: yms1rna.- 51., bmtif b.qll.lt. dOten 'e')'Icroldu .. g)lJlilll bbuil.lcllIiI'icwz ,gciI',cteoek kli 0 umm d,'lli bca~ildl~mIz, flokiuy':i dtln· mii§:oluruz.,

Bu ,e]qliri ve g(h;lilkkrdm b~Lnma.mn i~ t1.'lk: ),101iu kald~ gibi~ f,imcU ~yi, dinkyin. Once d:iU du"ilnceden 1bi£r gaze:] a:YI,m:su:uz (,eli kcmib:en &Iyumtk gibi), iJy.lrd!kt:~T!J ,1iOI1U (et:i b.ir y:ana kem/ii biry.ifI;IJ) :manhgln ~ah~lDa lII2111m pniden. bili. (diL§i[inco~ ve_u:qi:lr:m. ,5!!:n~,e:n a,lI'nl/jtttnl. ml;:i) Y'I:b;mcda.¥l1Iimt~, dil. nco ,$i[11U'lulo S~ ve:mB1 hafllfla 'Dl'WiiiIP,. kolIDrm s.I\Iu. gijil~k,J,ed ubI'. ,~ii,n)l'ad.a,1'I 't~rit ,edil~ ,ah~m:a odlmizda •. geri· ')i"e ynlamp adl dli.i~iince ')f.li da :ilikd '0- ].u'! gemillizin dtim,enirui,md¢ dol[1.11 Ol:llel!'mc Jia~.b.n \Ie bul' YIliln i~c yanm~~ de,ve dilkcnive b~Il!Z(l;dte:ri· ,mn 'oMulu diJ 3d;uwa yonelrir.'iliillliz. Dakin ne k'idu to.lay, :i~ ~iubffc· ,dibnty.i ~e:Id.c:.yal ~f~m bi~ klItt.

lu i:.qiilem g&c b~ JnjjntJt~ dil-

Kisacasi, vallahi ben onlann isredigi gibi bir dtinyamn neye benzeye1c,egini tahayyiil etmekt,e zodanlyorum.

H,e~rhalde" onlann duasl kabul olsa ne ya§:a.,m ne de btl. dlinya, olurdu.

~I if'ad!~l~i!;I~.di:l~ gchim1£lerin kw 6K1iIild!c:rirUfI., d&c:tudmml!mn, 6i~ ~ti.$ii.d.f. "Dn$~. aWi:tIim" .be her ,~yd!c<1iI ,i)'mc dik ~tiriImi~)':I. ,dol tal"' z..yii gtf~~ biir d&e~ ~l:q;l:I!m:!iI (dUf~n(:!tnm, d!:I~~.fb:Wtmt bb;,imi y;;J dI~ .iAd~i) d:emeb;, OOb.ilimse1 bor~br idndJe l!ier~ckl!euirilcn, dii:lsel :lnJanmJu" SOAllu,. rlca!lu'" duyp il'etiml1cd lib. gibi. :nil: dogru ne de y'~' 01;vJ anla~mn yaruslll2 'beUirlli b'Lr dolru!lI:Il dE.i¢ri a]w ,0001" mellen ,de igerir, Qml::gin, "Bw inmd~ ihmahtr." $imdi! bu onennerun i!(e:r:ij:inden aynt Ob:riU:. Ib.iif de '''B'~~I, A,iLO' B"di<" 'fekJ~.de :(QrrmD!l w:tdiJr V4! bUzim Wm 6ncr~ malltwaJ de,iif.mcilc:t)'U'cbmI.yJ~ '0'mUlrufl:dm.1J Jman1:lb,al one r.me :fio.rmlim l:ist:es!i i~indll: elite: 8~tll:imiE'. :!h~ dUl:'Uttld.i bi:r' Wim.cWn ,diojrWuj~ .. ; 'b'lIl di,mc:e.ni.n fo,l,IlDIIUIUU\ bir mm.bbaJ, yuaolup obmdJAwa baS~ bdJf.$i£ipbesiz mm._aJ o~ard;; diil'g.. ru olan bi'[ di-m,<;)C olpul Ql~ratk :p_. 'Yi dl 'O:I~ o~anl.·~ e:Ig bi~" tiiJm~~ m;mubd dual dnjm ol,;lib.ilif~

S:oylll:cc: ml!!nniIn ,Mi, bil"t~Imlml I.Il~RilIlI bull.inuyoru: mmDl hallgi OB¢fIEiE fo!r'mruatnrun "d~cirlil. 6f!,ema.e .. fo.rmi)m"- omdlu:~~ ;;!.f,~tl· An, 00 'bi~mw. M~ blll,~. .muttlamu yam furmd .ma.on.ld!! ~lI:'IRbmak m~ ml1ldUri 11m.umrun bndi t:atdme ~ oNJup. ;g. mrbir diwliwh; bUt m_b:j!D hd1hll· II VC: ~~rlmj b3I~ilib!rma I~ ~mil ~rilrmez o~'abi&'. heal. bu ikim;w c:ulr t2n:lma ,B5~ m.ubl lh.iIli.· i:Wyle i~dpl edenlut. :b:qI ~iL'C~ l;\C ~'tirilm~ olZil bir ')'IAm c· le~tiri 'y,all'liIl1'. ]1!IUt~I~wikrin :ne.l:iji ve hlllkl.IJ~jI i,zerine, tartJlmap PI'mc:k:siz,j;n 6ncmLi I~yd"'itm "'iii' iu nokttya de,p:unck- ~e ·fayda otdu.gu~u ,s,'WYorU!!lll; l(iJ) fincS:i tmlllilllmifa o~;dlut;y pbi bu tt~ ,d; man. bir bilim, olId1g.f!m1l! 'bdlini:r .'o'C ~-, ma amilU dil ile Wld!cki lIdoirl!!o·, im:ntlll: .kabpJan", ,!iij,mmtdwi dc,ii,~ mczler'''' ib.:ik ~r.

nk. h1lkqr,a, :~a m~ ge~ 19 bLlSiQnq ,6'nc.c: dil!il:c' d'iJ.tQoa ilI~ nm1~ bir uQ!.r ~E!I' ~onn dim tGiI,~