You are on page 1of 5

Wait, what?

Story: Wait, what?


Storylink: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6315336/1/
Category: Harry Potter
Genre: Parody/Humor
Author: esama
Authorlink: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1137344/
Last updated: 09/11/2010
Words: 2899
Rating: K+
Status: Complete
Content: Chapter 1 to 1 of 1 chapters
Source: FanFiction.net
Summary: Dumbledore explains Lily why it is vital that Harry and his twin brother are seperated. Wrong Boy-Who-
Lived story.
*Chapter 1*: Wait, what?
Wait, what?
"Headmaster, could you please repeat that for me?" Lily asked slowly, looking at the old man with a strained smile on
her face while taking casual step between the old man and the twin boys who were playing by their toy box in the
corner of the room. "And try and start from the beginning this time."
"Lily, my dear girl," the old professor smiled kindly, trying to shift to the side so that he could see the boys past her. "A
Prophecy is of the utmost importance, and we must act on it befor -"
"From the beginning," the red haired woman demanded, her smile widening to somewhat dangerous proportions as she
pushed her red hair over her shoulder. She stepped in his way again. "How about you start with the Prophecy and we'll
go up from there, hm?"
"Very well," the old man sighed and smiled. "As you know, I cannot tell you the contents of the Prophecy for security
reasons - the less people know its full contents, the better. However, it precisely indicates to a boy with the ability to
defeat Voldemort, a boy that Voldemort marks himself as his equal," here he tried to step past her again, only to have her
block his way again.
"Oh, indeed?" she asked. There was a soft rattling sound in the background, like static electricity. "And?"
"And taking in consideration the events of yesterday, we can safely assume that it indicates towards young William," the
professor added, trying to peer over Lily's shoulder and at the boy in question. "Now, it is of the highest importance that
we -"
"Just one small thing, headmaster," Lily said, rising her hand and almost slapping it against Dumbledore's face as she
did. "How is it that it's William when Harry is the one with the scar full of evil dark magic?" Here her tone gained a
sharp edge to it.
"Oh my dear girl, surely you must see it yourself?" the professor said kindly and gave up trying to get past her for now.
"It is plain that William survived the Dark Lord's attack because of his stronger and lighter magic." The old man shook
his head sadly. "His powerful light aura protected him. Harry has been touched by the powers of the darkness, now,
however. So you see, it is a clear sign of which one of the twin boys is the good twin and which is the bad twin."
"The good twin and the bad twin?" Lily asked softly and her smile grew rather dangerous as she continue. "And how
do you suppose that works out?"
"Oh, my dear, everyone knows there are a good twin and the bad twin. We should count ourselves extremely lucky to
have this sort of sign to help us tell them apart so early in the process," Dumbledore nodded with all seriousness and
certainty. "Now, it is highly important that they are separated before Harry can impact any bad influence on William.
William must grow free of any negative traits - and surely it will be best for your family as whole not to have such a
child in your house."
Lily closed her eyes, counted back from twenty, and opened them again. Her hair was starting to stand up in the air.
"Oh, for the best of my family?" she asked slowly, smiling a strained smile with a twitch under her eye.
"Yes, indeed. Now, there is no need to worry, my dear girl," the headmaster smiled, placing his hand on her shoulder -
only to pull it hurriedly away when his fingers got zapped by the static electricity that was making strands of her hair
float. He smiled again, while rubbing his numb fingers. "I have everything arranged; you need not to worry about a
thing. All you need to do is look into William and I will take care of Harry."
"You will, will you?" the woman asked, still smiling even as a lone spark of electricity zapped between the floating
strands of her hair. "And how will you take care of him, exactly?"
"Oh, everything has been made ready for him, there is no need to concern," Dumbledore assured, nodding with
grandfatherly authority. "Now, if you would kindly -"
"How, headmaster?" Lily asked, the windows rattling in what was surely just a random gust of wind.
"Ah, well, I have to say I am impressed by your loyalty to your children. Very well, I will explain it to you so you can
put it out of your mind," the old man offered generously. "I will have good old Hagrid take the boy - I would trust no
other than him with the task, of course," he said soothingly and there was another spark of electricity snapping in Lily's
hair. "He will take Harry to your sister - who will take prodigious care of him no doubt, being your closest blood relative
next young William, of course."
"Oh, indeed?" Lily asked, her eyes shining. She was such a devoted mother, Dumbledore thought, as the woman
continued. "And what if Petunia doesn't care for this scheme of yours?"
"She will, I assure you," the old man nodded with perfect confidence.
Lily's eyes narrowed and the corners of her lips were twitching as she smiled even wider. "And how do you know
that?" she asked.
"It has already been decided, of course," Dumbledore said, nodding again. "There is nothing to be worried about, I'm
sure."
The woman cleared her throat and absently pushed a floating strand of hair from her eyes, ignoring the electricity
sparking between the hair and her fingers. "Please do tell me, what has been decided," she requested, blinking her
glowing eyes. "I am very interested about this plan."
"I'm sure there is no need -"
"Tell me."
Dumbledore coughed softly. She sounded curiously like a thunderclap. "Well, I shall write a letter to Petunia so that she
will understand the severity of the situation," he said with a smile.
"You will write a letter to her?" Lily asked slowly. "And Hagrid will hand Harry over along with this letter?" she added.
"Like the morning post?"
"Oh no, of course not, do not be silly, my dear girl," the old man said, shaking his head with amusement. "Hagrid will
leave Harry to the porch with the letter, of course."
"He will?" the woman asked, raising her eyebrows. It was remarkable how bright green her eyes were, glowing like that.
"Leave him to the porch, with a letter, and then I suppose he will just leave?"
"Yes, of course. Hagrid has great many important duties at Hogwarts, so we cannot waste too much time at this,"
Dumbledore nodded, and then tried to once more get past her. "Now, like I said, everything has been arranged. How
about you take William and perhaps put him down for his evening nap? I will take care of everything."
"Not quite so fast, headmaster. I believe I don't quite understand this yet," Lily said, stepping in his way again, her hair
sparking as it flowed in the air. "And what do you suppose will happen to Harry after this most brilliant scheme of
yours? I suppose you are aware of my sister's disposition towards all things magical, hm?"
"Yes, indeed. That is the very essence of my plan, of course," the old man assured. "See, because of his affinity with
the darkness, it is best that Harry learns humility in the hands of a family that will not spoil him for being the brother of
the Boy-Who-Lived."
"The boy who lived?" the woman asked flatly.
"Yes, the Boy-Who-Lived. It is the title I decided will work quite well for young William," Dumbledore explained. "It will
be known far and wide and he will be hallowed as the hero. Everyone will know his name," he nodded with satisfaction
at the thought of it. "It is best that Harry will be kept from all of this, so that he won't get any foolish notions."
"Oh, of course," Lily said cuttingly. "And I suppose growing up famous and hallowed will be just the perfect
environment for William?"
"Indeed," the old man nodded. "It is his right, after the service he did for the world. The sooner he understands his own
value and acts according to it, the better. Harry, I'm afraid, would never understand and his jealousy of William's fame
and the training I will be giving him to ensure his superiority would drive Harry further into the darkness." He shook his
head sadly. "It is quite unfortunate, indeed."
"Indeed," Lily agreed, speaking the word through clenched teeth. "So, he must go to my abusive sister instead. Of
course."
"I'm glad you understand," Dumbledore agreed, and tried to get past her only to get zapped by her hair. He coughed and
then quickly smiled again. "It is all for the best, my dear girl. Harry will no doubt to grow up to become a dark wizard,
and when Voldemort returns -"
"Oh, Voldemort is returning, is he?" Lily asked.
"I'm afraid so," the old man nodded sombrely. "Harry will most likely join his side when he does, of course. It is best
that the relationship between him and William will be distant so that William can defeat him."
"Well, you have this all planned out quite well, don't you?" Lily asked, with acid green cinders glowing in her eyes and
making them too sparkle. "And do tell me, if Harry will grow up to be a dark wizard, wouldn't it be better to perhaps -"
"Now, now, my dear, I know the urge to smother the seed of evil at its infancy is tempting, but we must never stoop to
their level," Dumbledore said, hurriedly trying to steer her away from such evil notions. "There is still a chance that
William might, before the end, be able to persuade Harry back to the side of light, and after Harry as served his time in
Azkaban I'm sure he will be quite regretful of his choices."
"Oh, Harry is going to Azkaban, now?" Lily asked, and spark of burning green seemed to float from her yes, which
were bathing her cheekbones with green light now. "I suppose that is for the greater good, then?"
"Of course, it is too soon to say," Dumbledore said remorsefully. "There is still a chance that he might only grow more
evil in captivity, but we must not let possibilities and could-bes dominate our actions."
"Of course we mustn't," Lily agreed. All of her hair was in the air now, and the air was loaded with the rattling energy
that made her hair spark and flicker. Behind her, the boys were giggling as their hair started to stand up as well. "And
what do you suppose will happen to William whilst Harry becomes dark, hm?"
"William will be the beacon of light, of course," Dumbledore reassured her. "He will have a long standing friendship with
the youngest son of the Weasley family - the very lightest of all pureblood families, you see. Believe he will also form a
friendship with a brilliant muggle born witch, to balance his connections to the magical world. Together they will be the
very epitome of Gryffindor house and I assure you couldn't be prouder."
"I see. And I suppose Harry will not be in Gryffindor, then?" the woman asked, raising her eyebrows.
"Of course not - he will be sorted to Slytherin right away," Dumbledore assured. "Of course, it will only aid him in his
fall, enable him to make connections with the scions of dark families, but it's all for the best, really. That way Severus
can keep an eye on him, you see," the old man nodded with certainty.
"The same Severus that called me a mudblood and swore blood feud with my husband?" Lily asked, smiling rather
stone-facedly now.
"He will supply unique perspective on things, I'm sure," Dumbledore agreed and when he saw that she still seemed quite
worried, he chuckled. "Now now, my dear girl, I'm sure there is no reason for any worry. Harry will most likely change
his name for something impressive and suitably dark before his fourth year, and then it will be like he has no connection
to you at all," he guaranteed her. "I'm sure this will not reflect on you or your family in the slightest."
"Oh, good, I was so worried," Lily answered with a toothy smile. Dumbledore hadn't noticed how sharp teeth she had
before. Quite like fangs, in fact.
"Yes, well, there is no need to be, I'm sure," the old man promised. "Now how about I take Harry now, and you can put
all this trouble behind you? And when your husband comes home, you can perhaps take a little trip out of the country to
celebrate. I hear Egypt is nice this time of the year."
"What a wonderful suggestion," Lily growled while behind her the boys squealed with delight, crying for deem'n-ma.
She took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment. Her eyes seemed to glow even through her eyelids. After
exhaling very slowly, she opened them again. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind, headmaster, thank you very much. But
before that, how about you tell me something else? Whatever would've happened if it had been the Longbottom
residence that Voldemort had attacked? I understand Neville fit the criteria of the Prophecy as well."
"Oh, my dear, it would've never been Neville, surely you understand that," Dumbledore said, shaking his head sadly.
"Voldemort was sure to select the half-blood over the pureblood, that is just the way he is. And of course, young Neville
does not fit the role of a hero at all, and will be quite the meek boy when he grows up, I'm certain."
"And that's of course why our house when under Fidelius while Frank and Alice needed no such protections?" Lily
asked. Her hair was curling now together into thicker, electricity encrusted locks that spiralled backwards, rather like
horns. "It wasn't by any chance to make our family seem the more important one while theirs was of lesser
importance?"
"Oh, of course not," Dumbledore assured, smiling kindly in answer. However Lily had managed to change her pupils
into slits? Marvellous bit of self transfiguration, indeed. "Where-ever did you get such a notion?"
"It was just a passing thought, I'm sure," Lily assured casually, licking her fangs absently.
"Well, no need to worry about it," Dumbledore mused and then tried to get past her. "Now, it's really best I be off with
young Harry," he said. "I will just take the child and you can go back to living your life normally. There is no need to
worry, my dear, I assure you, I will make sure Hagrid will take the best of care of this future evil dark wizard as he
abandons him on frozen doorsteps in middle of an icy autumn night -"
x
"Lily-flower, I'm home!" James called as he stumbled out of the fireplace. "I brought the groceries you asked for, and
little bit of extra for the Prongslets - AND box of that ice-cream you love," he grinned. He'd say nothing about the bar of
chocolate he had gotten a colleague to bring from Switzerland, not yet anyway. "You wouldn't believe the day we had at
the office! Fourteen arrests, and sixteen interrogations! The paperwork was insane"
He chuckled. "It was incredible, though. It's whole different atmosphere at the ministry now that Voldemort is dead," he
said, shaking his head as he quickly undressed his shoes - Lily was very severe about ash on the carpets. "I caught Betty
Williams singing in her office, can you imagine? And Mad-Eye Moody, heh, I swear he was tap-dancing on his way to
the elevator. Or what passes as tap-dancing for him anyway"
He trailed away when no one answered him. "Lily-flower?" he asked with fear, and after dropping the groceries to the
couch and hurrying towards the stairs leading up. He glanced to the kitchen on his way and tore his way up and to the
room of the twins. "Lily? Harry, Will!" he called and then stopped.
Lily stood in the middle of the room, sizzling with energy, with a struggling Albus Dumbledore being strangled by her
hair which was several feet longer and several lightning bolts more energetic than the last time he had seen her. Behind
her, Harry and William were happily chasing the floating strands of her hair, perfectly immune to the bolts of electricity
zapping around her.
"James, dear," the woman growled in inhuman voice, turning to smile a dangerous, fanged smile at him. "The
headmaster has a most brilliant plan for our little boys. Would you like to hear it? It was most fascinating thing I've
heard!"
x
This is how I imagine it would go if I would try to write a Wrong-Boy-Who-Lived story. Well, maybe sans the demon-
Lily and with little more of overprotective Sirius and Remus. My apologies for possible grammar errors.

You might also like