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Coleman 1

Casey Coleman
Mrs. Simon
Language Arts 3-4H
19 May 2014
Tattoos In the or!"la#e
Tattoos are $e#oming more "re%alent in &or!"la#es in e%ery #areer 'iel(. )oth
)rian Ianieri *author o' +Career-,ri%en- Tattoos May .ot )e /or 0ou1 an( 2a#hel
Hennessey *author o' +Tattoos .o Longer a 3iss 4' ,eath In The or!"la#e51 tal!
a$out the e''e#t that tattoos ha%e on em"loyment. hile $oth authors &ere su""orting the
same argument6 the s#o"e an( metho( in &hi#h the argument &as "resente( (i''ere(
greatly7 &hi#h ultimately a''e#te( the e''e#ti%eness o' the author8s argument.
To $egin6 Ianieri starts his arti#le out tal!ing a$out .e& 9ersey resi(ents7 &hi#h is
'ine i' his target au(ien#e is .e& 9ersey resi(ents. :n'ortunately6 his target au(ien#e
seems to $e mu#h $roa(er than that an( $y starting his "a"er &ith this re'eren#e6 he is
instantly ma!ing the "a"er har(er to relate to an( ta!ing a&ay interest 'rom the rea(ers.
Hennessey on the other han(6 starts her arti#le out &ith an e;tremely relata$le <uote an(
$a#!groun( in'ormation. =%eryone at one time or another has hear( negati%e things a$out
tattoos an( ho& they &ill &ea!en your #han#es in the >o$ mar!et. ith this relata$le
$eginning6 Hennessey "ulls the rea(er in an( almost in a &ay 'or#es them to #ontinue
rea(ing to see &hat she has to say.
Se#on(ly6 as &e #ontinue rea(ing "ast the intro(u#tion "aragra"h6 &e start to see
the stru#ture $ehin( the &riting6 or the la#! there o'. Hennessey8s arti#le has a ni#e 'lo&
a$out it. She starts $y e;"lain the (i''erent in(ustries an( ho& ea#h in(ustry has (i''erent
Coleman 2
stan(ar(s6 she then mo%es onto her main "oint6 the "la#ement. She gi%es $a#!groun(
in'ormation6 <uotes6 an( statisti#s to $a#! u" her "oint o' "osition $eing the (i''eren#e
$et&een a (o#tor an( a #onstru#tion &or!er. Ianieri on the other han(6 starts his "a"er
&ith age (emogra"hi#s6 he then mo%es onto si?e6 "la#ement6 in(ustries6 an( e%en a 'e&
other minor "oints. In more (ire#t &or(s6 Ianieri &as s"rea( &ay to thin &ith too many
su$>e#ts an( not enough in'ormation on anyone o' those i(eas.
/inally6 the a#tual (ata gi%en $et&een the t&o arti#les. .o& mo%ing "ast the i(eas
that ea#h author &rote a$out6 is the a#tual "roo'6 statisti#s6 an( o"inions 'rom (i''erent
"eo"le. Ianieri has a lot o' in'ormation7 in 'a#t6 he has <uotes 'rom 10 (i''erent "eo"le@
Ho&e%er this is a negati%e thing6 all he has is <uotes a$out (i''erent "eo"le8s o"inions on
tattoos in the &or!"la#e. He (oesn8t go $eyon( a 'e& "eo"les o"inions on the su$>e#t.
Hennessey on the other han( has a 'e& <uotes6 t&o statisti#s6 an( a lot o' $a#!groun(
in'ormation. Ma!ing her "a"er a lot 'or in'luential.
In #on#lusion6 Hennessey &rote a mu#h more s"e#i'i# an( on "oint arti#le than
Ianieri (i(. Although at 'irst glan#e6 Ianieri has many %ali( "oints6 he (oesn8t stay on one
to"i# 'or long enough to allo& the rea(er to un(erstan( his "osition on ea#h "oint. This is
&here Hennessey outshine( him an( ultimately ma(e a more im"a#t'ul arti#le.

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or!s Cite(
Hennessey6 2a#hel. +Tattoos .o Longer a 3iss 4' ,eath In The or!"la#e5.
Ianieri6 )rian. +Career-,ri%en- Tattoos May .ot )e /or 0ou5.