As many of you know, we are in the middle of a 4 part series on marriage.

When Mike asked me if I would like to preach, I just said, well, sure, but I dont want
to try to write something about marriage in one week, I would prefer to preach on
something I have prepared in advance. Thats just more my style. So I had done an
in-depth analysis and interpretation of the parable of the unforgiving servant for my
seminary class, and I thought forgiveness would be a good topic. I said it is too bad
we will have to divorce from the marriage series, and Mike said, well it might be
just what we need for this series, and I thought oh yeah, marriage and forgiveness
are somewhat related. For any of you that need help making the connection
between marriage and forgiveness, you can either try being in a relationship for one
day, or talk to my wife (a forgiveness guru ). So, with that said, while the passage
we are observing and interpreting today is not specifically marital, it certainly
applies.

So just to mention a little bit about forgiveness and practical life application right off
the bat, here are a few facts from the Mayo Clinic about the health benefits of
forgiveness. I think we could all benefit from that. Our scripture for today is on the
parable of the unforgiving servant. Somebody shouldve told the guy how much
good it wouldve done him.

This parable is found in the gospel of Matthew, starting with chapter 18, v. 21. I am
reading from the ESV version:
77 Times
21
Then Peter came up and said to him, Lord, how often will my brother sin against me,
and I forgive him? As many as seven times?
22
Jesus said to him, I do not say to you
seven times, but seventy-seven times.
The Unforgiving Servant

23
Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to
settle accounts with his servants.
[g]

24
When he began to settle, one was brought to
him who owed him ten thousand talents.
[h]

25
And since he could not pay, his master
ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment
to be made.
26
So the servant
[i]
fell on his knees, imploring him, Have patience with
me, and I will pay you everything.
27
And out of pity for him, the master of that
servant released him and forgave him the debt.
28
But when that same servant went
out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii,
[j]
and
seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, Pay what you owe.
29
So his fellow
servant fell down and pleaded with him, Have patience with me, and I will pay you.
30
He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.
31
When
his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they
went and reported to their master all that had taken place.
32
Then his master
summoned him and said to him, You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt
because you pleaded with me.
33
And should not you have had mercy on your fellow
servant, as I had mercy on you?
34
And in anger his master delivered him to the
jailers,
[k]
until he should pay all his debt.
35
So also my heavenly Father will do to
every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.

So we are going to take a close look at this passage, and get pretty deep.

So you might wonder why I included the little part at the beginning with Peters
question about how many times to forgive? Well, I did this because the whole
parable of the unforgiving servant seems to be serving as the long answer to Peters
question. This first short section (usually translated like the song you heard in
offertory today seventy times seven) makes a point far beyond any number, but is
rather indicating that we should forgive however many times it takes. Dont worry
about debating your friends on whether it is 77 or 490, because neither one is the
point. The point is, anybody who is counting probably doesnt really know what it
means to forgive from the heart, as Jesus tells us to do in verse 35. A popular
commentary called the Pulpit commentary tells us that Peter doubtless thought
that he was unusually liberal and generous in proposing such a measure of
forgiveness. Peter probably thought he was pretty special, considering the general
rule was three times. Well, Jesus smashes that to bits with His reply. Not only that,
but he tells a story, a rather extreme story, to illustrate this point. Lets take a look at
the parable now:

To give you some background on this servant, I can tell you what some scholars
say regarding his situation: the New Interpreters Bible Commentary, for instance,
indicates that this servant was possibly a subordinate official. Slavery was
common in this time, and rather than killing enemies in battle, they were often
taken as slaves, so the talented and educated slaves were actually entrusted with a
lot of things. Some think this guy would be best described as a tax collector who bid
on a huge territory, promising a certain amount of tax revenue to the king, and then
failing to deliver. This is interesting to consider, but dont get too caught up in those
historical details, because we dont really know, and it is a parable, not a historical
account in this case. Trying to explain away the numbers is kind of silly, because
thats not exactly what Jesus was going for, in my opinion. Let me show you why: In
the first verse of the parable, it tells us that he owed ten thousand talents. In the
New International commentary on the NT, R.T. France tells us that the talent was
the largest unit of money, and that ten thousand was the largest numeral for which a
Greek term existed. When combined, the effect is like our zillions. Just for fun
though, lets check this out in todays dollars. (Show the chart). If we take for
example someone who makes $39,000 a year, it would be the equivalent of them
owing 7.8 billion dollars, according to math carried out by the ESV footnotes
standards. Back then, it wouldve weighed in at 300 tons of silver. Really, this is
meant to show an infinite contrast. So, it makes even more sense then, when France
goes on to say that What God has forgiven his people is beyond human calculation.
Isnt that the truth?

As we continue in the passage, the king orders the servant to be sold, along with his
family and all his possessions, in order to pay the debt. This wouldnt have even
come close to paying it off, as we have just seen, but it was the closest the king
anticipated getting, I guess. But the servant begs for mercy, and even promises to
pay back everything, and the king has mercy on him, releases him, and forgives the
debt. This guy is off the hook completely! He doesnt even have to keep that
promise! But what does that guy go out and do? I really think this is written in a way
that makes you shake your head at this guy. What are you thinking, bro?! It kind of
ends up being like the story about the rich man who stole the poor guys sheep in 2
Samuel 12. For those of you who know this story, great! For those who dont: this
rich guy has a bunch of cattle and sheep, and this poor guy has one single lamb that
he really loves, and it lives with him, and drinks and eats with him, and sleeps in his
arms. The Bible says it is like a daughter to him. The rich guy has a guest coming
over, so what does he do? Instead of preparing one of his own sheep for his guest, he
kills that guys lamb! How twisted is that? Well, King David says that this man should
die. The problem is, King David was the man. My point in all this is that if you
havent seen it by now, this story is an allegory. We are the ungrateful servant. God
is the King. That makes it kind of scary. Lets see what we (the servant) is/are
going to do:

28
But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who
owed him a hundred denarii,
[j]
and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, Pay
what you owe.
29
So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, Have
patience with me, and I will pay you.
30
He refused and went and put him in prison
until he should pay the debt.

So this servant had just been forgiven an unfathomable amount of money, and yet,
he throws this guy in jail for what is relatively peanuts. I didnt say peanuts, because
it is a decent bit of money: 100 days wages. However, relative to 5,000 lifetimes of
wages, it isnt much. I think if he wouldve even just said, well, I really need the
money, but take your time, man that probably wouldve been fine. The language
used here is almost exactly the same as what this servant just experienced before
the king. He fell down and pleaded with him. No mercy here, though. This guy didnt
just refuse to forgive the debt, he demanded it NOW, and he CHOKED HIM, and he
IMPRISONED HIM!

Now the next part tells us that his fellow servants were greatly distressed. They
reported to the king. The servant is summoned before the king, and the king says:
You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.

This is the part where I am glad we now understand the real gravity of the debt that
has been forgiven. The king has every right to say it this way. I forgave you ALL
THAT DEBT! The other interesting note is that the king says he forgave the debt
because you pleaded with me. I like this part, because it shows that God forgives
us when we ask. He doesnt forgave some stone-faced, I-didnt-technically-do-
anything-wrong guy, but rather those who see their debt, know it cant be repaid,
and are humbly coming to him, saying please, Lord, forgive me. Dont even try to say
youll repay him haha! We have two more big takeaways here:




33
And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on
you?

We are to have mercy on others, as God has had on us. That means unlimited
forgiveness. Matthew 7:1-2 teaches us this: 7 Judge not, that you be not judged.
2
For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure
you use it will be measured to you.

You have all probably heard that passage: specks, logs, in your eye, all that stuff.
Well, it runs deep. Its not just about judging others, its about our very salvation. We
arent told that unforgiveness is something that will send us to hell, but we are told
that by the same measure, you will be judged. So what happens to the ungrateful
servant?


34
And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers,
[k]
until he should pay all his
debt.

Im sorry, but it gets worse. The word for jailers is actually more accurately
translated torturers. The guy was handed over to be tortured. This is serious stuff.
Its not just jail anymore, its not even sell you, your family, and your possessions, its
torture! And here is the kicker:

35
So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your
brother from your heart.

Wow. Can I just tell you, part of me really did not want to preach on this!? Etc.. So,
before anybody says wow, thats harsh, lets think about the fact that God is love,
and God is just. This king is now punishing the servant. He isnt really even
concerned with the money, but more with justice. Here is what I took away from
this, however. It wasnt just how extreme the punishment was, but rather how
forgiving God was. The parable of the unforgiving servant is, sobering. If the
kingdom of God is compared to this story, then those willing to forgive have nothing
to fear. The overall message here does teach by negative example. Basically, dont be
like the unforgiving servant, or God will do the same to you. But a close reading of
this text also results in seeing the extravagant and indescribable kindness, mercy,
and generosity of God (the king). It anticipates the work of Christ on the cross, and
Romans 5:8 (ESV):

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

It is humbling to think of the forgiveness and mercy that God has shown us, and
ultimately this parable does function as a double measure. It is a negative example
and warning, as well as an illustration of the great mercies of God on us, His
children.

What can we take away from this? How do we apply it to our lives?

In order to forgive, we have a few steps. We get somewhat of an outline in this
parable:

Identify In this parable, the king is settling accounts. We can liken this to taking
an inventory of who has wronged us or who we have wronged. Some of you may be
familiar with the 12 step program, AA or Celebrate Recovery (which we do next
door at Restore Point). Well, these programs include steps that call for making
amends with others. This is a part of the process of recovery. It is a part of the
process of healing.

Conscious decision, not a feeling The king may have felt like he wanted his
money, but he made a conscious decision to have mercy. It is important to
remember that forgiveness is a decision we make, not a feeling that we get. While
we may feel relief if we are forgiven, or we may feel some resolve or closure by
forgiving another person, this may not be the case. Sometimes the other person isnt
even around, and we still have to forgive them! I can tell you a short story about this:
When Kaitlyn and I were first married, we went up to visit my family in MN. We
went to one of my buddies houses on the lake, and we were tubing on the water
behind a pretty fast boat. Poor Kaitlyn bit the water pretty hard. I feel at least
partially responsible. She had some bad bruising and whiplash. We were attending a
church in STL, and they recommended a chiropractor that attended there. We went
to see him, and remember now, I am 21 years old, I have never been truly screwed
over before. The guy sells us some financed treatment plan junk that was supposed
to be 0% interest and wasnt, and took us years to pay off. We were barely making
rent at the time. Now if this were something that Kaitlyn truly needed, then I
wouldnt be so upset. We arent talking about paying off some necessary surgery, we
are talking about chiropractic adjustments that could have been paid for on an
individual basis, billed through insurance, and cost us significantly less, if anything. I
dont know how the guy sleeps at night. So as I was writing this sermon, I had to say
it (I think even out loud) - I forgive him. But I want you to know, not all the
forgiveness in my life has been something so easy to share. I think a lot of you have
similar things. Things that dont get preached or even talked about sometimes
even with close friends or family. I thought about these things while I was putting
this together. I know it isnt easy, but I also know that it really matters to God that
we do it. When we make the choice to forgive, we are doing what Jesus commanded
us, and we will benefit from that choice.

Not always one and done its a process This parable shows the process
(although it goes awry). We can choose to respond with forgiveness as God has
responded to us, or we can do the opposite as the servant did. This is the last thing I
will mention here. Just as we need to identify and choose, we also need to keep in
mind that not all forgiveness is an Im sorry and I forgive you type of thing. Life
gets complicated and messy, and it isnt just like calling your brother a dumbo and
then your mom makes you apologize and then everything is ok in five minutes. I
speak from personal experience. Sometimes forgiveness tends to be a process. It
might be a process of they keep wronging me, I keep forgiving them. It may be a
process of they wronged me once, but it was a big one, and I have to keep forgiving
them. Either way, my wife likens this to 2 Corinthians 10:5 in that we need to take
every thought captive to obey Christ. While the context of this phrase is quite
different than that of forgiveness, it does apply: every time you get that feeling of
but they really dont deserve it, or did you really forgive them? or some things
are just unforgiveable, we need to put it through the lens of scripture, especially
through the lens of Matthew here, and what we have encountered today. We need to
remember that it is only through the power of Jesus Christ that we can truly
forgive.


So the next time you feel like you have some dirt on your spouse, (or anyone else)
maybe you dont want to forgive them? Maybe they dont deserve it? Maybe they
didnt ask for it, or ask for it in the right way? Remember what God has forgiven
each one of us. Remember His son, Jesus Christ, and the sacrifice that was made to
accomplish that forgiveness. Embrace it, and show others the same grace whenever
possible.

Lets pray.